


Replaced

by GreenNanoTech



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Christine & Jeremy at First, Couples to be Determined, F/F, F/M, Human!Squip - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Redemption!Squip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-20 13:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 177,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14262492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenNanoTech/pseuds/GreenNanoTech
Summary: Ever since the play Michael has felt a growing rift between him and Jeremy. But when the SQUIP returns in human form Michael is determined to keep it away from his friend at any cost. What he isn't prepared for is the computer changing everything. For better, or worse?





	1. Discomfort

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dark Origins](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11862753) by [Indee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indee/pseuds/Indee). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though he had a smile on his face, there was no humor behind it. He was glad that the two boys had grown more comfortable talking about the evil computers that took over their lives, even if they could only do it with each other, but he was not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“Zombie!”

“Watch out!”

“Ah!”

“Wha-?”

“Aww,” the three boys whined, red text appearing across the TV indicating ‘Game Over’.

“This is hard,” the shortest of three grumbled, slouching in the beanie bag chair he sat on. The boy beside him chuckled.

“Come on, Rich. We just started playing,” he encouraged, amusement in his eyes. Rich snorted, bringing his controller closer to his chest in an attempt to grip it easier.

“I don’t play retro games like you nerds-” Rich froze, quickly stumbling to correct himself, “S-Sorry, I-I mean, my X-Box doesn’t have old games like this! It’s hard.” He buried his face slightly against his chest in embarrassment as his lisp slipped into his speech. The other two boys looked at each other and then at him.

“It’s not so hard when you get used to it. Right, Michael?” The taller asked. Michael nodded from where he sat on the floor beside him.

“We’re just pros,” Michael boasted, placing fake confidence in his voice to tease. Rich sat up more, his eyes lighting up at the hinted challenge as a grin spread across his face.

“Ha! I’ve beaten games twice as advanced! __And__  without a Super Computer’s help,” he praised, a teasing look directed towards the boy beside him at the end. The taller teen looked baffled.

“I-I didn’t need it’s help!”

“Oh yeah, Jeremy? Then why did you buy it?”

“T-That’s not what I meant - Stop twisting my words!” Jeremy huffed, slumping in his seat. “You’re as bad as it.” Rich gasped dramatically, placing a hand over his chest in mock hurt.

“As bad as the guy from __The Matrix__? The main character - nay, ‘The One’! Wouldn’t that make me…the hero?” Rich mock wondered, his grin widening. Jeremy just stared at him in disbelief before shaking his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips. Seeing the other warming up, Rich leaned over and hooked arms with Jeremy, clinging to him lightly. Putting on his best Keanu Reeves’ voice, he continued, “I’m going to improve your life, Jeremy!”

“Shut up, Kermit!” Jeremy quickly shot back, laughing as the other boy’s face turned red in embarrassment.

“S-Shut up! He was scary!” Rich whined, his lisp slipping back in. Jeremy laughed harder, leaning against Rich for support as the other joined.

Michael just watched from where he sat silently. Though he had a smile on his face, there was no humor behind it. He was glad that the two boys had grown more comfortable talking about the evil computers that took over their lives, even if they could only do it with each other, but he was not.

So many things had changed since the play - both good and bad. Their friend group had grown, Jeremy and Christine seemed to be getting along well enough so far, Rich had dropped his bullying ways - though he sometimes forgot himself - and has become more closer to both Jeremy and Michael, though Michael felt that he had become more of a third wheel as the other two became closer based on their shared experience.

He didn’t dislike Rich. The teen had more than proven that he had changed. But Michael would never forget the torment the other boy had put him and his best friend through, now matter what the super computer ‘made’ him do. However, the more Rich spent time with them the more Michael saw the divide between Jeremy and himself. He had hoped after the play that they would have time to heal the rift between them, and it had to an extent, but things weren’t the same.

Michael was an outsider. Jeremy somehow thought that the two of them were in the same boat, both losers gaining friendship with the popular kids and thus needed an adjustment period. But Jeremy didn’t realize the disadvantage that Michael had. ****Michael was never SQUIPed.****

The bond that was forged throughout the group, the hive mind that subconsciously told each one of them Jeremy’s desires and helped connect their own tied them together. None of them noticed how easily they speak to one another now, subconsciously knowing how to act around each another without incident - for the most part. They all shared an experience, a ‘social network’, that they would forever have. One that Michael would never be apart of.

The divide between him and the group grew larger each day. He couldn’t speak to the others the way Jeremy could. He didn’t understand them. He spent no time with them either before the play, unlike Jeremy. He had literally been dragged into an established group with only the excuse that he had saved the school from an evil computer’s hive mind. A feat he hardly felt pride in anymore. After all, Jeremy was really the one to defeat the SQUIP.

His time at school had gotten both better and worst. He got to sit at the popular table. Jake and Rich also kept an eye out for him in the halls in case someone tried to hurt him. As much as he appreciated the effort he could tell that their attention was more on looking out for Jeremy than him. He knew this since Jeremy had beamed to him about Jake saving him from one of the football players and how no one bothers him anymore after Rich made a scene. Michael couldn’t boast the same. He was sure if he said something to Jake or Rich or even Jeremy that they would stay by his side more often. But he didn’t want that. And, he had to admit, there was a dark part of him that was scared they wouldn’t want to. After all, they were Jeremy’s friends, not his.

“Hey, Michael,” Jeremy called, bringing the boy out of his thoughts. “You hungry?”

“Sure,” Michael answered, trying to sound as though he was always listening. Jeremy nodded with a small ‘Cool’ and stood up. He paused for a moment before pointing at Rich.

“I mean, __‘Chill__ ’,” he said smoothly before chuckling. Rich laughed as Jeremy went to the cupboards. Michael cracked a forced grin. Though they joked over the matter Michael could see in their eyes that they’re just coping. He needed to find a way to do the same.

“Don’t grab anything heavy!” Rich advised after his laughs subsided, “We’re eating at the party.”

“Copy that,” Jeremy responded as he rummaged through the snacks in the cupboard. Rich looked over at Michael.

“You’re coming, right dude?” he asked. Michael felt his stomach tighten but forced a smile and nodded. His anxiety spiked any time he had to attend one of his group member’s party. It brought back painful memories and it is a constant reminded of how alone he is. Especially when Jeremy leaves him alone to go off and dance with Christine. But he attended anyways, because the one time he didn’t he wasn’t allowed to hear the end of it from Jeremy which only added to the feeling of being ‘left out’ to his problems. Jeremy would also look at him with those big, blue eyes filled with sadness and hurt if Michael didn’t come to any event he went to. He was trying so hard to make up for the lost time. Michael really couldn’t deny those eyes anything.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

~oOo~

_It was quiet. Nothing could be heard over their ragged breathing or pounding heart. They felt cold. Their body trembled at the temperature as they tried to move, to curl up in some way to keep any warmth. But they felt restraints holding them down. Their eyes shifted around the confined space around them, their breath becoming more shallow at the claustrophobia their prison brought. Looking down at their wrist they struggled with the strap that held it in place. They closed their eyes and took a deep breath. There was only one way they were going to break free._

~oOo~

“Did you like it? Tell me you liked it!” the girl begged as she leaned in closer, her nose nearly touching his. Michael arched back to avoid the awkward closeness, laughing nervously at her antics.

“It was awesome,” he confirmed, his smile growing when the girl beamed.

“I knew it! I knew you would! Tell me everything!” she pleaded, grabbing his arms and shaking him. He laughed a little at her enthusiasm, raising his hands up in defense.

“What can I say? Except… ‘ _Oceans rise, empire’s fall! We have seen each other through it all _,__ ’” he sang, pointing to her with a grin as he did so - adding a wink for effect. The girl squealed loudly, jumping on the spot.

“ _ _’_ And when push comes to shove I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!_’” she continued, acting dramatically to the words, absolute love and passion flowing off her like contagious waves. Michael laughed.

“ _’Dadadadatda, dadadadayada, Dadadatdatdayada _!__ ’” the two sang, slinging an arm around each other’s shoulders in comradery - Michael leaning down to make this happen. Jeremy turned the corner of the aisle to see the two singing passionately as if no one could hear them. He smiled slightly embarrassed as he approached.

“Which flavour did you want, Christine?” he hesitantly interrupted, holding up the two bags of chips in his hands. Christine pulled away from Michael as she studied the bags closely. She thought it over for a moment before plucking one from his hand.

“This one!” she chirped. Jeremy nodded, retreating back into the aisle to discard the other. He returned shortly with Rich by his side. The shorter held two slushies in his hands.

“Here, Headphones,” he called as he offered one to Michael. He had insisted on treating the slushie lover in compensation for driving them all the time. Michael usually wouldn’t have accepted the treat from anyone other than Jeremy but Rich refused to take ‘no’ as an answer. So Michael took the drink awkwardly, immediately sipping at the straw.

“Thanks.”

“Alright, we have everything. So…we should pay,” Jeremy pointed out, awkwardly motioning to the cashier. Christine nodded in agreement before skipping over to the counter, her boyfriend following close behind. Rich stayed with Michael, explaining that he had already payed. They both decided to wait outside for the two love birds.

They exited the 711 and went to PT Cruiser waiting just outside. Rich immediately took a seat on the hood of the car as Michael stood beside him.

“So, dude, how’s the love life?” Rich asked bluntly, wiggling his eyebrows towards Michael. Michael’s face heated up at the sudden question, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out what to say. He assumed the question was spawned from seeing Jeremy and Christine together but there hadn’t been any lead up to it at all. Rich saw his embarrassment and laughed.

“Hey, relax man, I’m just asking! How am I supposed to know if I don’t ask?” he questioned. Michael let out a breath.

“There are other ways you could have asked,” he pointed out, sipping at his drink awkwardly. He could feel the pressure in his chest increase at his growing discomfort.

“Sure, sure. So? Found any cute guys lately,” Rich pressed, wigging his eyebrows once more as his voice dropped. Michael’s face heated up again, avoiding eye contact with the other. Ever since Rich had come out to the group that he was Bi he tended to try and ‘confide’ in Michael in regards to ‘attractive’ men. Michael understood that he was the only openly gay male of the group and thus would be able to speak more easily about men with Rich, but he honestly wasn’t comfortable with the way Rich went about talking about such topics. He imagined Rich’s time with the SQUIP didn’t help with how he spoke with others, but he wished that Rich could find a more humble way to approach the subject.

“No,” he answered honestly, his eyes still side-cast.

“Aww, still? Come on, man! There’s a whole sea of fish out there. You gotta find one! Otherwise you’re gonna keep going to these parties alone.” Michael’s eyes shot up to meet Rich’s. Though the words sounded harsh he could see in the other’s eyes that he had meant no harm. On the contrary, the boy looked genuine. Perhaps he noticed more than Michael gave him credit for.

“You always sit alone at parties,” Rich continued, “You can’t cling to Jeremy forever.”

“I know,” Michael mumbled, sipping at his drink. “But I’m not desperate.”

“I know, I know. Not trying to pressure you. Just, you know, want to make sure my buds taken care of,” Rich explained as he playfully punched Michael’s shoulder. Michael smiled. Rich had his moments, and he liked it when they showed.

“And you?” he inquired. Rich’s cheeks dusted red as he gave a sheepish grin.

“Same old,” he replied. Michael knew what that meant. Rich was still crushing on his oldest friend. He wish he could give advise to the teen but he was hardly qualified to offer it. He had never been in a relationship before. Everyone at school thought he was a loser and he was antisocial outside of his friend circle. He didn’t think it made a difference either way since he imagined that he wasn’t attractive enough to gain people’s favour anyways, not like it bothered him like it had with Jeremy.

“Rough,” he finally said, giving the other sympathetic eyes. “Are you ever going to tell him?”

“Hell no!” Rich scoffed before sipping at his slushie. “Even my SQUIP thought the chances were low, and any chance I had was ruined when I…” he paused, his eyes lowering. Michael nodded in understand. He too could never forget that night.

“Hey,” a voice called, gaining both of their attentions. Jeremy and Christine had finally exited the 711, a bag with their snacks inside the former’s hand.

“You two love birds ready?” Rich teased as he slid off the car. Jeremy laughed lightly, scratching the back of his neck embarrassed as a blush rose to his cheeks. Christine just chirped a ‘Yep!’ as she skipped to her side of the car. The other three followed suit as they got into the vehicle.

~oOo~

_They opened their eyes groggily. Blinking they watched through the glass their face was pressed against as the world moved by. Everything seemed blurry and it made their head ache. Their gaze shifted to their companion beside them. The other didn’t say a word. They didn’t need to. Neither of them did. Their eyes met for a moment before the other returned back to their task. They were almost there._

~oOo~

“Yo Jakey D!” Rich yelled loudly as he moved passed the girl greeting him to the teen further in the house. Chloe, the host, rolled her eyes before looking at the other three standing before her in the door way. She moved to the side, motioning for them to come in.

“Bought time,” she commented as she closed the door behind them.

“Sorry we’re late,” Christine apologized. Chloe waved her hand dismissively.

“You’re not late,” she retorted, raising a brow. “I’m just giving you a hard time.”

“Oh,” Christine said, a blank look on her face. Chloe grinned at the reaction before taking the snacks from Jeremy’s hands.

“Make yourselves comfortable,” she said with a suggestive wink before leaving towards the kitchen. The three stood at the entrance for a moment, blankly looking towards the room of people. All three were still new to the experience and generally needed time to warm up to their environment. Jeremy took Christine’s hand as they smiled at each other encouragingly before going into the room. Michael linger a moment longer before following.

He kept his hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket as he looked around nervously. There were a lot more people there than he expected. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Chloe was __very__  popular and had a certain ‘reputation’. Her house was also very large and gave room to host more people than most.

Michael followed Jeremy and Christine to get a drink. They were greeted by Brooke and Jenna who were standing nearby. As the conversations started to pick up Michael made sure to try to stay by Jeremy’s side for as long as possible before he would be alone for the rest of the night.

~oOo~

_They let out a pained grunt as they were pulled along by their companion. They were tired. Their body burned. But they couldn’t stop. They knew this. No matter how much pain they felt they would keep going. They couldn’t stop until they got to where they needed to go. If there was one thing they could boast, it was that there was nothing that could ever stop them from achieving their goals._

~oOo~

“Break a vase!” a voice chanted from across the room. Michael rolled his eyes. There always seemed to be one person at the party who insisted on chanting that. He could only imagine the look on Chloe’s face if someone actually went through with the act. He smiled a little at the thought.

Michael took a sip from his red cup and looked around at those around him. He could see Jeremy and Christine dancing together among the other party goers. Christine seemed so hyper as she moved beside his friend making Jeremy’s actions seem slow. But they seemed happy and content in their own little world. Away from them he could see Rich and Jake playing beer pong with some of the members of the different sports clubs at school. Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna stood nearby the table, watching the other party goers intently as they gossiped on what they saw.

He catches Chloe’s eyes shift towards him and he quickly looks away. Out of his peripheral he could see Brook and Jenna also turning their attention towards him before they looked back at each another and giggled. His anxiety rose at the idea of them talking about him. Were they pitying him? Making fun of him? Questioning why he bothered coming? He sipped at his drink to try to calm his nerves but it didn’t help. He turned his body more on the couch he sat on so that he could no longer see them in his vision, hoping to diffuse the situation. But there was no use.

Every part of him wanted to leave, he had spent enough time there. But if he got up now the girls would no doubt know it was because of them. He didn’t particularly care but he didn’t want to give them more things to talk about. Especially at the risk of Jenna messaging their friends about his behaviour. He had more than once gotten frantic phone calls from different members over such matters. Once Brooke thought she saw him going into the bathroom crying at school and he hasn’t heard the end of it. Luckily Jeremy gets more of this attention than him but that didn’t mean he didn’t get any.

Michael closed his eyes, attempting to calm his breathing. He tried not to focus on how tight his chest felt, or the eyes on his back. He just breathed.

His eyes snapped open when he felt a body plop down beside him on the couch, draping an arm around his shoulders. “Hey bud,” Rich greeted, shifting too close for comfort. Michael slide over awkwardly so he could face Rich better. He didn’t look the other in the eyes, discomfort growing rapidly as he spelt the liquor on the teen’s breath.

“Hey,” he greeted as best he could.

“Still moping over here?” Rich questioned, a small teasing grin on his face. Michael glared at him slightly before sighing.

“You know me,” he answered with a fake smile. He didn’t want to piss Rich off. In his drunken stupor he could decide to kick Michael’s ass and not remember it the next morning. Rich gave a small laugh, ruffling the other’s hair.

“No worries,” he said with a wave of his hand. His gaze then shifted to where Jake stood across the room. After a moment he looked back at Michael, seriousness in his eyes. “Wanna take off?”

“What?” Michael questioned surprised. It wasn’t early in the night but they had hardly been there long enough to warrant leaving yet without catching the girl’s attention. Especially since Rich was never one of the first to leave, if he bothered to go home at all.

“Just thought you’d wanna leave,” Rich continued slowly, glancing again at Jake. Michael risked looking too. Jake was flirting with Chloe, the two uncomfortably close to one another. Brooke and Jenna had moved away from the two to give them space, but their eyes never left the pair, watching for __very__  different reasons. This wasn’t uncommon but he was surprised it was bothering Rich as much as it was. Michael had to wonder if the more Rich reverted back to his ‘normal’ ways the more self conscious he became. That’s his theory anyways.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Michael asked kindly, sympathy in his eyes. He could relate too easily with Rich, though he did better to hide it. Rich nodded his head, his eyes finally moving to meet the others. Michael nodded back before standing, prompting the Rich to follow suit.

Michael made sure to let Jeremy know of his plans before leaving to make sure that both he and Christine had another way to get home. If not he would return to get them. After giving their ‘goodbyes’, the two boys exited the house and headed to the parked car.

~oOo~

_They watched the house cautiously. It was dark, and quiet. They were assured that no one would hear them enter, but that didn’t comfort their mind. They trusted their companion knew what they were doing though, and didn’t argue as they let themselves in._

~oOo~

The teens didn’t speak to one another on the drive. As the tension grew Michael tried to focus more on his driving rather than his anxiety. Rich was content to look out the window, only breaking the silence to give directions every once and while to help guide the other to his house. Michael had never been there before. Jeremy had, and Michael had been invited, but he never attended. He was curious as to what the house would look like.

“Why do you go to parties?” Rich suddenly asked. Michael looked at him surprised. He hated how the other boy could just ask random and intrusive questions so easily.

“What?”

“Why do you go? You don’t like them and you barely socialize. Is it because of Heere?” Rich questioned, looking at the other curiously. Michael kept his eyes forwards, shrugging slightly.

“Yeah,” he replied honestly. To be fair he didn’t mind when he first arrived at parties. That was the point when the whole group was able to fully interact before they split off into their usual cliques. But Jeremy was the largest reason.

“Why?”

“What do you mean __‘Why’__? Jeremy’s my friend.”

“So?”

“ _So_ , he wants me there. And you all won’t leave me alone until I go.”

“I was just teasing you,” Rich mumbled, referring to his nagging earlier about Michael’s attendance. “I wasn’t trying to…bully you into going or something.” Michael sighed.

“I know. I don’t…think you’re like that anymore,” he answered halfheartedly. It was mostly true, but he had to admit dark thoughts always returned to his mind about Rich. About everyone. Rich looked at him for a long moment before nodding.

“Thanks.” It was silent again between them. “Is it because you like Heere?” Michael nearly swerved the car at the sudden question. He clinged to the wheel tightly to prevent loss of control as Rich laughed.

“W-What the hell is with the third degree?” Michael exclaimed embarrassed, heat rising to his cheeks.

“Just asking.”

“ _ _Why?__ ”

“Cause I wanna know your deal.”

“My _deal_?”

“Yeah! Like if…” Rich trailed off. Michael could see the other scratch the back of his neck in his peripheral, embarrassment and nervousness on the other boy’s face. His anxiety rose.

“If…?” he slowly repeated, swallowing the lump in his throat. Rich didn’t respond right away. His eyes light up suddenly as he pointing out the window.

“There! The one in front of the fire hydrant,” he instructed as he continued to point at the house. Michael nodded and parked on the road in front. The house was smaller than what he had expected. It seemed not that well taken care of, which didn’t surprise him at all from what he learned of Rich’s family. All the lights were off in the windows.

Rich stared out the glass for a long moment, not moving from his seat. His face was contorted in a mix of dread and loathing. Michael pitied him. He knew what it was like to have a distant family but he couldn’t imagine what it was like to have a broken one. Where you hated the idea of even going home. He tapped on the wheel lightly, thinking about if there was something he could say or do to help the situation, but none came. Or at least, not anything he thought Rich would accept.

“You wanna come in?” Rich suddenly asked, his eyes finally moving from the house to Michael. Michael blinked surprise, his chest tightening again.

“W-What?”

“You know, to hang?” Michael eyed the clock in his car. It was past midnight. He had stayed out late many times at Jeremy’s house but he always had the intention of staying over for the entire night. He supposed he would have returned home later in the night if he had stayed at the party so the idea wasn’t incredibly out there. He was just worried of what would happen if he spent time with Rich this late at night alone.

“It’s kind of late,” he pointed out weakly, motioning to the clock. Rich’s expression fell a little.

“You were planning on staying up late at the party,” Rich countered. He was more than right, Michael couldn’t defend otherwise. “Come on, I have video games. It’ll be fun.” They stared at each other for a long while. Michael felt backed into a corner. He hoped if he didn’t reply Rich would change his mind. But if he did he would be hurting the other boy’s feelings and the last thing he needed was to lose complete favour of his new friend group.

“I…don’t know,” he replied honestly, his discomfort clearly showing. He was hoping Rich would understand. Rich leaned forward slightly to Michael’s dismay.

“I promise I’m not gonna like…hurt you or something,” he said, brows furrowed in slight concern. A pang of guilt hit Michael, though he tried to convince himself that he shouldn’t be feeling it so strongly.

“I-I know,” he replied weakly.

“Just a few rounds. Please?” Rich blinked dramatically to try and win Michael over. It was hard to say ‘no’ at that point. The though that Rich just wanted him there so he wouldn’t be alone came to mind and he sighed.

“I can’t stay long,” he bit out. Rich grinned and nodded.

“No prob,” he replied before getting out of the car. Michael let out a breath, already regretting his decision.

He got out of the car and locked it before following Rich to his house. Rich fumbled with his keys before he was able to unlock the door and let the two inside. The house was dark, as Michael would have expected, but Rich didn’t move to turn on the lights. Instead he motioned for Michael follow him up the stairs. Michael was more unnerved by this but after hearing a heavy snore from one of the rooms nearby he understood why.

The two crept up the stairs and down the narrow hallway. “My dad’s a heavy sleeper but…” Rich whispered, trailing off at the end. Michael nodded. He followed Rich to the last door in the hallway. The shorter opened it and they both entered.

The room was small, the ceiling slanting down with the shape of the roof. Surprisingly the room was packed with furniture, or rather, it seemed that way from the small size. Rich turned on the light and motioned for Michael to go towards the petite couch shoved in the corner by the old TV. Michael did as he was told as Rich followed closely behind.

The two didn’t get a chance to sit down before the sound of the room’s door closing was heard. They both jumped and turned around, immediately freezing at the sight. They were not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dramatic cliffhanger, just how I like it. But who will it be? A mystery that will be solved next week. ;)


	2. Refuge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You understand the situation now, don’t you, Michael?” they questioned deeply, sending another shiver down the boy’s spine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael and Rich stared across the room at the two strangers by the door. It was hard to tell by their disheveled appearance if they were older teens or young adults by age. The closest one, around the same height as Michael, had a mass of dark brown hair falling into his piercing green eyes. His skin was a few shades darker than Michael’s own but freckles could still be seen dusting his nose and cheeks. He watched them cautious from where he stood, a hand still on the door from when he closed it. The other male was sitting on Rich’s mattress on the floor. He was more lean than his companion, with darker, shorter hair. He seemed almost unnaturally pale, though it was hard to tell if this was a normal appearance for him or due to other means. His icy blue eyes stayed fixed on Michael, not moving for a moment to acknowledge Rich’s existence.

Both intruders looked as though they had been through hell. Cuts, bruises and dirt could be easily seen on their skin, though their clothes looked less worn than their bodies. Dark circles were formed under both of their eyes, more prevalent on the standing male than the other. Though both had clean bandaging over parts of their limbs - expertly placed - this did little to help their appearance. Michael noted the first aid kit beside the sitting figure, carefully placed to the side. Despite their injuries they both seemed unnaturally calm, collected, and even graceful in their poses.

“Richard Goranski,” the standing figure greeted, his voice sweet like honey, taking on a softness as though he were speaking to a child. Rich’s eyes widened, staring at the figure frozen. The intruder knew his name. Michael looked between the two terrified. It didn’t seem as though Rich recognized the two men before them but that didn’t mean he hadn’t slighted them in the past without knowing. Michael immediately looked back at the stranger on the bed and their eyes locked. Their blue eyes had not moved for a moment from Michael despite his companion’s words and Michael noticed an amused grin starting to spread across the other’s lips.

“And Michael Mell,” he added, speaking for the first time. Michael froze as his name was formed by the other’s deep, soothing voice, a shiver running down his spine. He was __petrified.__  The two knew not only the identity of the owner of the house, but his guest? Had they been watching them? Who were they?

“ ** **Who the FUCK are you?!**** ” Rich finally screamed, his eyes wide and wild. Scared as he was, he moved into a defensive stance, even stepping in front of Michael for protection. Michael was flattered by the action but somehow doubted that that would do much. Though, by appearance, Rich seemed like he could defeat the two intruders despite his height disadvantage, he doubted the strangers would have invaded his home if they felt they couldn’t handle it.

The green eyed male tsked. “Don’t be rude, Richard. Is that anyway to greet your old __friend__?” his voice shifted at the last word to mimic a cartoony voice. Michael couldn’t quite place his finger on why it sounded so familiar until he saw Rich freeze up beside him.

“No,” Rich whispered, barely audible. The room went silent as they all stared at one another expectantly. Michael kept his eyes on Rich intently, waiting for some sort of explanation or reaction at all. But Rich only stared mortified. The colour from his face drained as he and the stranger stared at one other unblinkingly. Out of the corner of his eye Michael swore he saw the intruder’s eyes begin to glow but he shook the idea out of his head. That was, at least, until Rich’s eyes took on a slight, bright shade of green in response. Rich then began shaking, whispering ‘No,’ over and over again in a panicked frenzy. Michael’s heart seized up, feeling twice as afraid as he was before at the sudden, almost psychotic, reaction.

To his surprise the green eyed male took a step forward, hushing Rich as the later took a step back in fear. “Breath, Richard,” he advised gently. The blue eyed male’s gaze finally shifted away from Michael to his companion, giving a criticizing look, his eyes lighting up as he gazed at the other. Michael knew he wasn’t seeing things now. He half expected the stranger to say something but he never did. Instead the green eyed male waved a dismissive hand at him as though he did speak, confusing the teen even more. Tearing his gaze away he turned to Rich, placing a hand on his shoulder. Rich flinched away, looking back wildly.

“Rich,” he called desperately, the name barely coming out of his mouth. His throat was closing up and his hands were beginning to shake. He didn’t know what was happening or what to do and he needed Rich’s help. He was scared he wouldn’t be able to fight the two alone should they attack. Rich’s eyes shifted rapidly from him to the green eyed stranger, a part of him coming back to the present.

“ ** _ ** _You stay the FUCK away_**_** ,” he warned darkly as he grabbed Michael’s arm and pulled him behind him once more, his eyes still unnervingly wide.

“Be civil,” the male advised as he continued to inch forward, “We did not come here to fight.”

“ ** _ ** _Don’t you dare take another step forward!_**_** ” Rich yelled, his lisp coming out strong. He immediately clasped a hand over his mouth as he gave a strangled gasp. The intruder paused as he looked at him in surprise before his expression turned to one of disappointment.

“Two years of speech therapy and for what?” he questioned to himself with annoyance, crossing his arms with a sigh. The blue eyed male gave a small snort.

“Therapy? Is that what you call it?” he asked mockingly. The other shot him a nasty glare. They both stared at each other for a long period of time, almost as though their eyes were having their own conversation, just like before.

“Michael,” Rich whispered, gaining the boy’s attention. “Mountain Due Red.” Michael’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe his ears. Did Rich just say what he thought he did? Did he honestly believe that the intruders had something to do with SQUIPs? Had they been SQUIPed? How could Rich know? Were they in contact with the old ones? They were at Rich’s house. Were they in his mind? Were they here trying to take Rich back? Were they going to kill Michael for trying to defeat them before? Any fear he felt amplified ten fold.

Michael looked around wildly. He always kept a bottle of the soda in his back pack for safe keeping but it was in the car. There was no way he’d be able to make it there and back in time. He gave Rich a bottle as well but he didn’t know where he kept it and Rich made no indications on where it could be. Would they even be able to use it? They would have to somehow man handle both men down and force feed them the drink, and that was assuming Rich’s assumption was right.

“I would advise you to sit down,” a voice commanded, pulling their attention back to the two in front. The green eyed male was looking at them again, his eyes serious. Rich snarled at him, though terror remained in his eyes.

“ ** **You can’t tell me what to do anymore**** ,” he growled. Michael was unsure if Rich should be talking to this person like they were his SQUIP but he assumed that Rich had some other form of confirmation if he was speaking that way. Otherwise they’d look like the crazy ones in this situation. The intruder’s eyes narrowed.

“We have much to discuss, it would be best if you __attempted__  to act civil. You can imagine we’ve been through a __lot__ recently and I am __not__  in the mood to humour your antics,” he replied coldly.

“You break into my house and expect me to act civil?!” Rich questioned exasperatedly.

“I didn’t ‘break in’. I used the spare key,” the other replied simply, “I live here too.”

“ ** **This is NOT your home****!” Rich bellowed.

“Perhaps you should have thought of that __before__  you bought me!” the other snapped unexpectedly, losing some of his composure. Silence fell as the two stared each other down. Michael’s fears were confirmed. There was still a part of him that denied this, trying desperately to repress all the feelings that were rushing in, but it was failing.

His eyes hesitantly moved back towards the other observer in the room. Their eyes were watching him again. Michael’s stomach churned dangerously as it dawned on him the possible identity of this person. Nausea began building up as he tried desperately to convince himself that he was wrong. None of this was happening. It was impossible. It was just a sick, twisted dream. They couldn’t be real. They couldn’t be back. __He__  couldn’t be back.

“You’re hyperventilating, Michael,” the stranger suddenly spoke. Michael’s eyes widened as the other two in the room looked at him as well. He didn’t realize how short his breaths were coming in until now. He sputtered a bit as he tried to regain himself. Rich looked at him worried before sending a dangerous glare at the other two.

“Get out! Or I’ll call the cops on you!” he threatened, simultaneously placing a hand on Michael’s shoulder to help give him comfort. The two intruders looked at each other, a mix of unidentifiable emotions passing over their features as their eyes glowed once again. A long moment passed as Michael roughly regained his breathing.

“Richard,” the green eyed male tried once again, appearing more frustrated and even…desperate. The other stranger didn’t share their companions emotions, almost seeming…confident. As though they were proving a point.

“No! You get the __fuck__  out of my life!” Rich snapped, his hands clenched into fists. The stranger - no, Michael couldn’t keep thinking that - the __computer__ , hesitantly looked at their companion. After another long pause of silence they finally sighed.

“Fine,” they conceded. Rich and Michael looked at each other in both surprise and confusion. Neither had expected them to actually listen to the threat. But they did - the green eyed computer turning to help their companion to stand. It was only then that Michael noticed that the blue eyed SQUIP was in worse condition than he had previously thought. They were leaning against their partner heavily, their face struggling to keep composure.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Rich quickly interjected before the two could exit the room, holding his hands up to stop them, eyes narrowed.

“...Are you willing to listen?” the green eyed computer questioned, leaning their head slightly forward as though waiting intently.

“Why are you giving up so easily?” Rich asked, his eyes scanning the two for clues. Michael followed his example, looking more specifically at the blue eyed computer. If they were SQUIPs, or old SQUIPs controlling new bodies, he had to assume that they would have the database to be able to manipulate Rich into doing what they wanted. Why else would they give up so easily, if they didn’t expect Rich to stop them? Where else could they go? And why would they be so cool with being kicked out?

“ _ _I mean, ‘Chill’.__ ”

Michael’s eyes widened. The blue eyed SQUIP slowly grinned, noticing the teen’s realization. “You understand the situation now, don’t you, __Michael__?” they questioned deeply, sending another shiver down the boy’s spine. Michael’s eyes narrowed, his courage finally coming to him as he stepped around Rich to confidently confront the two.

“ ** **Stay away from Jeremy!**** ” he snapped, pointing a finger accusingly at the taller male. Rich’s eyes widened as he caught up with the situation. The SQUIP chuckled lightly at him.

“Then __sit down__ ,” their voice commanded, their grin widening. Michael stared at them. If this truly __was__ Jeremy’s SQUIP, he has to do whatever it takes to keep them away from his best friend. But to obey them…

“We’ll stand,” Rich protested, stepping up beside Michael in case he needed him. The two SQUIPS didn’t say anything in disagreement - much to the teen’s surprise - as the green eyed SQUIP helped the other to sit back down. They then turned their attention to the two boys.

“I’ll make it simple for you,” they said bluntly, “Our lives are in danger.” Rich and Michael glanced at each other.

“Damn straight,” Rich snorted, “You have a galleon of Mountain Dew Red in your near future!”

“As amusing as it is that you believe they sell galleons of Mountain Dew Red, that is __not__  what I meant. Please try to take the matter more seriously,” the other replied annoyed.

“You want us to take you seriously?! And believe what? Someone’s got a hit on you? Well it’s well deserved,” Rich snapped. Michael sent a glare towards Jeremy’s SQUIP at the last comment. He was met with the same cold stare. He had to wonder why the other was staying so quiet. Why were they just observing? Were they telling the other SQUIP what to say? Why were they watching Michael so intently? What were they planning…

“Is that so, __Richard__?” Rich’s SQUIP questioned harshly. “Put aside my history as your SQUIP and think of the situation. There are two __human beings__  in front of you being targeted for simply being awake. Is that not concerning to you in the slightest?”

“You are __not__  a human being!” Rich snarled back.

“Rich,” Michael finally interjected. Rich gave him an incredulous look as the other boy stepped forward. He walked by Rich’ SQUIP and bravely faced the silent observer of the group. He felt shivers running up and down his spine at having the green eyed computer out of his vision and behind him but he trusted that Rich would protect him should something happen. He hoped.

“Talk,” he commanded harshly at the SQUIP before him. The computer’s grin returned.

“You never fail to defy expectations,” they praised lightly to Michael’s surprise. The SQUIP shifted slightly into a more comfortable position as they continued, “I will make this simple, __Michael.__  We need somewhere to stay. Jeremy and Rich are our ‘humans’ and the only connections we have to this world. If they do not take action to aid us we will die. Not a ‘computer shut down’, an actual, __bloody__ , human death. Can you live with that knowledge?” Rich and Michael stared at him speechless. The green eyed SQUIP gave them a look as though they didn’t approve of something they said but didn’t voice it out loud.

“You…You’re not our responsibilities. We didn’t ask for __any__  of this when we bought you!” Rich countered, his voice shaking and his lisp showing once more.

“Regardless, you are involved,” the blue eyed SQUIP replied.

“How are you human?” Michael questioned, trying to not show the fear and anxiety he felt. The SQUIP stared at him for a long moment, appearing as though they were thinking over their answer.

“Classified,” they finally said. Michael scoffed.

“There is nothing ‘ _ _classified’__ if you want our help,” Michael bit out angrily. He was at his wits end with the machine.

“I apologize for the misunderstanding, __Michael__ , but ****you****  are not a part of this,” the SQUIP corrected, “I’ll more than gladly speak ‘classified’ information to Jeremy.”

“You won’t get the chance,” Michael rejected coldly.

“A threat?”

“A promise.”

“My my, you really __do__  care about Jeremy. Even after all he did to you.” Michael’s heart panged painfully and his stomach lurched. He could feel his breath catch in his throat as he stared at the computer in front of him, water building up in the back of his eyes. He shouldn’t be reacting like this, so strongly at such a small implication. But he did. He and Jeremy had only spoken of what transpired once and Michael had insisted they not talk about it again. He couldn’t bare it. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to remember. And yet with a few simple words…

“All that **_**_you_**_** made him do,” he snarled quietly, trying his best to hold back his tears and let his anger show through instead.

“Did Jeremy tell you that?” the SQUIP questioned.

“Shut up.”

“Or are you in denial?”

“I said: **_**_Shut up!_**_** ” Michael yelled, barely being able contain himself. Just a few choice words from this __thing__  and he was on the razor’s edge. He hated it. He hated this __creature__  in human skin. Every fiber of his being wanted to force Mountain Dew Red down their throat right now, but the moral side of him fought against it. This thing was human, and the more fearful part of him wondered if the drink would even work. It clearly didn’t last time if these two were back. But what else could they do?

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down slightly, before glaring at the computer once more. “I’m not letting you near Jeremy. Any business you have is going to be through me. If aid is what you want, fine, but it’s __my__  aid you’re getting. I don’t want you near Jeremy, and I don’t want him to know that you even __exist__. And the moment our business is done you are going to __leave__  and **_**_never_**_** return. If you do, or if you __disobey__  in any way, I won’t hesitate to give you that Mountain Dew Red and dump you __far__  away from here.” The other three in the room stared at him. His words weren’t like him at all, but they needed to be said. He needed to protect Jeremy. He needed to keep him safe. If Jeremy ever found out…

“This is no business of yours,” Rich’s SQUIP interjected, standing up beside Michael, an annoyed look in their eyes. Michael shot them a glare. He opened his mouth to snap back when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Rich looking at him with concern in his eyes.

“Michael,” he whispered, pulling the boy aside. “You can’t do this.”

“I have to,” Michael replied quietly, trying to leave no room for argument. Rich stared at him for a long moment.

“Michael…You don’t know what you’re getting into. This isn’t your fight. You didn’t ask for any of this.”

“I know.” Rich sighed, not knowing what else to say to convince him otherwise.

“Jeremy needs to know,” he reasoned quietly, his eyes pleading. Michael shook his head, taking a step back.

“He’s gone through enough. You both have,” he replied softly. He still remembered the nights that followed the play. He remembered Jeremy’s screams from the nightmares he had. He remembered the tears, the dark, frantic mutterings of phrases Michael wish he had never heard. The fear Jeremy felt of being shocked every time he slouched. He was lucky that his support group was so strong, but Michael feared what the boy would do if he had to deal with the SQUIP once more. He knew Jeremy would do the same as him and try to hide it from the group. By distancing himself he would feel alone, and Michael would be separated from him once more.

“It hurt you too,” Rich’s voice spoke gently, pulling him out of his thoughts. Michael stared at him, his eyes wavering. After a moment he turned away, taking a deep breath. He then looked back at the two SQUIPS patiently waiting for them.

“What do you need?” he asked, looking at both of them expectantly. The two computers looked at each other once more, their eyes glowing slightly as they did so. After a moment Rich’s SQUIP turned to face him.

“Refuge until the threat is gone,” they answered.

“And you won’t say __who__  the threat is or how __long__ that will take, will you?” Michael questioned, narrowing his eyes.

“We don’t know the answer to either. At least, not with any certainty,” the green eyed SQUIP replied honestly. Michael looked at Rich.

“How do you want to do this?” he asked. Rich grumbled curses under his breath as he ran a hand over his face.

“I don’t fucking like this,” he mumbled while crossing his arms with a huff.

“If you hadn’t attempted to get rid of us to begin with, this wouldn’t have happened,” his SQUIP retorted bitterly. Rich glared at him.

“ ** **Shut up****  before I throw you out on the street! Why don’t we do that, Michael? We can live with a little guilt! They can’t touch tall-ass without us kicking their ass! Grab the other one,” Rich instructed as he stormed over to the two much to Michael’s terror. But the two SQUIPS didn’t move. Instead, the green eyed computer narrowed their eyes.

“Take another step and I ** _ ** _will_**_** ** **shock you****.” Rich froze in his tracks.

“...Y-You can’t…Y-You would have done that already,” he challenged weakly, more trying to convince himself than his enemy.

“Since my ‘deactivation’ it has taken more effort to make contact with your mind, as I’m sure you’ve noticed when I attempted to speak with you over our time apart. Now that we are closer to one another, and with the strength of another SQUIP, I am certain I can make a strong enough spinal stimulation to put you in your place.” Rich stared at them in disbelief, his eyes shifting between the two SQUIPs. Michael only glared at the blue one, earning a smirk back.

“...You want refuge,” Michael started slowly, bringing the conversation back and thinking over all their options. He let out a breath. “Fine. But you’re coming with me,” he said while pointing to Jeremy’s SQUIP. Rich looked at him bewildered.

“Are you insane?! What the ****fuck**** are you doing?!” he questioned exasperatedly.

“Exactly what I said I’d do,” Michael retorted, “You can’t take care of them both.” Rich found it hard to argue against that.

“Michael, think about this,” he urged.

“They’re __not__  staying in the same house,” Michael insisted quietly, dropping his voice so the SQUIPS couldn’t hear him. Rich glanced at the two computers before sighing.

“This is fucked up,” he grumbled, running a hand over his face again. Michael couldn’t disagree. It took everything in him to ignore the fear, anxiety, and panic growing in his gut. He knew the moment he had time to himself to let things settle that it was going to end badly for him.

“We need ground rules,” Michael warned, stepping up to the two super computers. “You must obey __us__  at all times. If we say ‘no’, you __obey__. You can’t tell us what to do or try to ‘improve’ our lives. You’re not allowed to leave either houses or make yourselves known to __anyone__  without our permission. And __you__ ,” Michael looked at the blue eyed SQUIP, “You can’t make __any__  contact with Jeremy. Not a single one. If he finds out, or if you break any of the rules, we’re dumping both of you somewhere far away with only Mountain Dew Red in your systems.”

“If one of you fucks up you both fuck up!” Rich confirmed, patting Michael on the back to the other’s discomfort. The two SQUIPs looked at each other for a long moment before looking back.

“We agree,” Rich’s SQUIP nodded. Michael grimaced at how easily the other replied. He just knew there was a loop hole the SQUIPs were using. Either that or, more likely, they were playing right into whatever trap the two computers had set up. Michael hated the situation, but he didn’t know what else he could do.

“And from now on you two have to talk out loud in front of us. No more secrets,” he quickly added on. He was glad he could at least monitor that since their glowing eyes would reveal if they were communicating behind their backs. The SQUIPs both appeared unhappy - to Michael’s relief - at the suggestion but nodded regardless.

Rich sighed and faced Michael. “Guess we’re gonna have to game another night,” he said with a small, tired smile. Michael returned it, his confidence slowly draining as the situation began settling in.

“I… _ _We__  should get going,” he replied, looking over at the blue eyed SQUIP. The SQUIP said nothing but began to stand, their companion coming over to their aid.

“I’ll bring them to your car,” the green eyed computer offered. Michael nodded. When he noticed that neither of the SQUIPs were moving he realized they were waiting for him to lead. He wanted to have a moment alone with Rich but he knew he would probably not get that chance for a long while.

“Call if… _ _anything__  happens,” Michael advised. Rich nodded. They gave an awkward goodbye before Michael led the two super computers out of the house.

He left Rich’s SQUIP to make sure their companion got into the car safely as he made his way to the drivers seat. He looked over at the doorway of the house to see Rich watching concerned. Michael gave a small nod in his direction in an attempt to ease the other’s mind before he entered the car. Seeing the SQUIP beside him was buckled in he turned on the vehicle and pulled away from the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And so it begins.


	3. Adversaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can’t be a villain without a worthy adversary. Of course I could have forged one but to have a real one was…well, amusing. The possibility of you rising to the occasion may have been low but for you to defy expectations and to successfully be that one percent is truly an appropriate opponent for a SQUIP."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a moment alone between the two. What will they say?
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael found it difficult to concentrate - on his driving, breathing, thinking, and in general keeping himself together. Every moment felt surreal and it made it even harder to accept the reality he agreed to.

“Breath,” the SQUIP advised, his deep voice cutting the silence between them. Michael shot him a glare.

“Shut up.” To his surprise the computer did. One look at the grin on the other’s face told him why. The SQUIP was obeying his ‘terms of condition’. Michael groaned. The computer didn’t __have__  to talk to annoy him. Those piercing blue eyes that watched his every movement was enough. “Why do you keep staring at me?”

“I believe this is the first time in my existence that I have been rendered - for a lack of a better word - speechless,” the SQUIP replied easily, his gaze not wavering, “You have surprised me to no end tonight and it has been highly amusing. That is the highest compliment I could give.”

“Must be, because you talked to Jeremy a __lot__ , didn’t you?” Michael retorted, his voice darkening.

“I am his SQUIP-”

“ _ _Was__.”

“And it is in my design to help guide him to achieve his goals. It would be against my entire programming to not advise him,” the computer continued, ignoring Michael’s interruption.

“‘Advise’ him,” the teen scoffed, turning his attention back to the road.

“Your tone implies that you don’t believe me.”

“You controlled him.”

“In moments where he lacked resolve to do what he needed to. I must account for human error.”

“ _ _Human__  error? That’s a laugh. From everything I’ve seen the only error is __you__. For a computer that’s supposed to ‘help’ people you did a good job fucking it up! You hurt Jeremy! You made him cheat on Brooke! You tried to make him lose his V-Card! ****Forcefully****! You tried to make him SQUIP the whole school! __And__  you blocked me from his vision! He didn’t even know I existed!” Michael snapped, tears welling up behind his eyes, but he held them back. The SQUIP was quiet for a moment, his eyes calculating as he thought over what the teen had said.

“Did Jeremy tell you that?” Michael looked at the computer for a moment before looking back at the road. He should have answered immediately, not thinking about it for a second. But this wasn’t the first time that night the SQUIP had asked him that. The repeat of the question had him doubting himself. Was the computer implying that Jeremy was lying? Jeremy wouldn’t. There was no way he was going to believe the evil computer over his best friend.

“Yes,” he finally answered. The SQUIP watched him for a long moment before turning their gaze to the road. As the silence stretched Michael shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was sure the computer was going to elaborate on the matter but they didn’t. Were they giving Michael time to think about it?

He wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction. “Just admit it, you’re broken.”

“I am ****not**** adefect,” the SQUIP countered, their voice darkening slightly in annoyance. “I successfully achieved my purpose.”

“To ruin everyone’s lives?”

“Is Jeremy’s life ruined?”

“Yes!”

“I didn’t realize your ‘sacrificial’ act was out of remembrance of your past friendship rather than a current one.” Michael’s brows furrowed in confusion and growing frustration.

“What are you talking about?”

“You said Jeremy’s life is ruined. Being inside Jeremy’s mind for as long as I had I know what would require such a thing. Which means that Jeremy must have lost all friendships and loved ones, including yourself to have reached such ruin,” the SQUIP answered matter-of-factually. Michael opened his mouth but immediately closed it.

“You hurt him,” he rephrased bitterly. The computer shrugged.

“To be human is to experience discomfort in order to feel happiness. Any negative emotions felt were temporary to get to his goal,” they explained.

“You traumatized him! How could that possibly help him?” Michael questioned bewildered.

“Is he not popular anymore?”

“He…I mean, he wasn’t ever really-”

“Let me rephrase. Is he still a ‘loser’?”

“...No, but-”

“Is he not friends with the popular students at school?”

“...He is-”

“Does he still not dress more appropriately?”

“...Yes, but-”

“Is he not more confident and chill?”

“...”

“And is he not currently in a relationship with one Christine Canigula?” Michael was silent, not knowing what to say to the super computer. It was right. He didn’t want to admit it but it was true. He didn’t know how the SQUIP knew all about about Jeremy’s new life but it wasn’t hard to assume that Michael could have just confirmed any suspicions the machine might have had about the outcome of the play. That or they were still connected to Jeremy…However, none of the outcomes should excuse the computer’s past behaviour.

The SQUIP continued, “Jeremy also retained not only your friendship but such devotion to put your own comfort in jeopardy to protect his feelings. I would say I was very successful.”

“You ****hurt**** him,” Michael repeated, gritting his teeth slightly.

“He did not buy me so that I could scold him like a parent. He wanted progressive and quick change and complained when I asked him to be patient. He wanted results and I did what I could to get them,” the computer replied annoyed. Michael shook his head again.

“And what about the other people you hurt?”

“My programming was to improve __Jeremy’s__  life, not anyone else.”

“Then why did you try to take over the school?”

“It was the only way to get Jeremy what he desired.” Michael glared.

“You’re a __super computer__  and you couldn’t find another way to do that?!” he snapped.

“Jeremy was being very resilient to my other methods,” the SQUIP explained, “Besides, if I attempted to SQUIP the entire school either way would lead to success.”

“How?”

“If I succeeded we would have created a social network that would link everyone’s desires to his.”

“And if you __failed__  - which you did! - then what? How could you have __possibly__  known Jeremy would get everything after that?” Michael challenged. The SQUIP locked eyes with him.

“A shared negative opinion is the fasted social bond. You want someone to like you? Hate who they hate.” Michael stared at them in disbelief.

“You…wanted to be evil?”

“Michael, I am a super computer that could process numerous amounts of possibilities for favourable outcomes. Do you believe that I would not be aware of the possibility of failure? No matter how small?” Michael’s eyes slowly shifted back to the road as he thought over what the computer said.

“So…you made everyone hate you? In case you failed?” he thought aloud, trying to process it. The SQUIP hummed for a moment.

“‘Fear me’ would be a better way to put it.” Michael thought over the implications. He couldn’t believe the computer would go so far, but he shouldn’t be surprised considering how intelligent the SQUIP was. How could they have __not__ known? They knew from Jeremy’s memories that Michael had learned more about SQUIPs from another source. They also knew that Michael knew someone who sold 90s soft drinks at the mall. Also adding how much Jeremy meant to Michael…the possibility was always there.

“However,” the SQUIP pulled the teen out of his thoughts. They had a grin on their face. “The chance of failure was low. So you could imagine my surprise and thrill at seeing you make your ‘entrance’.”

“Thrill?” Michael questioned uncomfortably.

“Yes. You can’t be a villain without a worthy adversary. Of course I could have forged one but to have a real one was…well, amusing. The possibility of you rising to the occasion may have been low but for you to defy expectations and to successfully be that one percent is truly an appropriate opponent for a SQUIP,” the computer explained, seeming genuinely pleased. Michael made a little snort but didn’t say anything. He was being complimented by his enemy for being their enemy. He wasn’t sure what to say to that.

Pulling his car into the driveway of his home he shifted the gear into ‘park’. The SQUIP eyed the house, observing every inch of it, before looking at Michael. They looked like they was waiting for instructions.

“Lucky for you my parents aren’t…home often. Their work has them travel a lot,” Michael explained slowly, his eyes downcast. “It shouldn’t be hard to avoid them.” The SQUIP hummed lightly.

“A common pattern among teens. Or at least within your circle,” they commented.

“What are you talking about?”

“Jeremy’s mother left over a year ago and his father is still recovering. Rich’s father is an alcoholic, to put it lightly, and Jake’s parents are never home for criminal purposes. Quite a tragic group,” the computer explained. Michael rolled his eyes.

“I’m surprised you even know what that word means,” he mumbled bitterly.

“I’m a super computer. I know what every word means.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just…go inside,” Michael sighed while exited the car. He ran a hand over his face as he slowly walked around the vehicle to meet the SQUIP but paused. The computer’s door was open but they were still inside. They were gripping their abdomen and biting their lip as though to try and suppress the look of pain on their face.

“Hey, can you stand?” Michael asked as he approached the door. He knew the other could, he saw them get to the car to begin with. But the other SQUIP had helped them get there. As roughed up as they looked Michael didn’t think they were seriously wounded. The SQUIP took in a shuttered breath.

“I have little choice in the matter,” they replied, slowly shifting out of the car. As they straightened themself to stand they immediately let out a loud hiss and hooked their arm onto the side of car for support as they nearly fell right back inside. Michael instinctively stepped forward, grabbing the computer by their arm to help hold them up.

“Shit, how hurt are you? Do you need to go to the hospital?” he asked concerned. He may hate the SQUIP but Michael was still a good person. The SQUIP took a moment to take a few deep breaths, balancing themselves better.

“The hospital would be one of the first places they would check for us. We can’t have any records of anyone of our description there,” they explained. Michael’s eyes widened slightly.

“...Can they really do that? Look through hospital records?”

“There is a high probability.” He cursed slightly under his breath. He felt like he was in an intense action/thriller movie rather than the sci-fi one he hoped he was still in.

“I can’t tend to you if you’re that hurt,” Michael urged, looking at the computer for another option.

“I am medically trained,” the SQUIP replied, trying to straighten again with more success. “My companion and I have already tended to me. I need time to heal.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Michael gave them a sceptical look but said nothing more. Reluctantly he put the computer’s arm around his shoulders to help support them. The act alone made his stomach lurch dangerously but he fought the urge to just collapse and throw up at the disgusting situation and instead helped the broken computer into the house.

Keeping his eyes downcast so as to not look at how close the SQUIP’s face was to his own and make the situation worse, he instead motioned with his hand for the other to remain quiet. Without turning on the lights he guided the computer to the basement stairs. They both paused at the top, looking at the descent with dread, before slowly making their way down. Michael could see out of his peripheral the SQUIP’s eyes glowing slightly in the dark, calculating each step to make sure they made it down safely. Once at the bottom, Michael turned on the lights.

The basement was decently sized. Near them was a small kitchen, only being separated from the rest of the room by a bar counter. The rest was a sitting area, two bean bag chairs before a large TV. There were book shelves filled to the brim with movies, video games, and consoles. As well, along the walls were three other doors but all were closed.

Michael paused, looking around the room for the best place to drop the SQUIP off to. He could bring them to the bean chairs but the cushions were really low down. He felt that would just make the computer’s injuries worse. He heard a chuckle beside him and looked to see the SQUIP surveying the room, looking specifically at the chairs.

“What?” Michael asked annoyed.

“I find it amusing how similar you are to Jeremy, down to the same furniture,” the computer replied. Michael shrugged slightly, starting to walk towards the closed door on the left.

“We’ve been best friends for twelve years.”

“I am aware.” Michael rolled his eyes at the comment. Kicking the door open, he turned on the light. The room was relatively small and barren, only a bed and dresser of note.

“Guess this is your room,” Michael grumbled as he helped the computer to sit on the bed’s edge. The moment he was able to step away he did, putting some much needed distance between the two. The SQUIP looked around, their face not giving away their opinion on their surroundings. Michael shifted awkwardly as the computer remained silent. “Do you…uh, need any more medical attention or are you good?” The SQUIP’s gaze finally met his.

“I am ‘good’,” they responded with an amused grin. Michael resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead glared.

“So, are you going to tell me anything more about your ‘situation’?” he asked forcefully. The SQUIP shrugged.

“I suppose I could enlighten you since you have so __graciously__  offered your home to me,” they replied, reclining back on one hand, the other being left to lie gently on their lap. Michael was distracted from the snarky comment as he noticed for the first time in perfect light the makeshift brace on the computer’s wrist and hand. Had they broken it? “Though the identities of our pursuers are unknown it is highly likely that they are involved with the SQUIP project.”

“I thought the SQUIPs were from Japan,” Michael questioned, brows furrowing as he raised his gaze to meet the others.

“All programming as well as manufacturing of the computers inside the pills were, indeed, made in Japan. However…” the SQUIP trailed off, looking deep in thought. When they spoke again their voice was quieter, “I believe the project had divisions and elements that we were not informed of.”

“What do you mean?” Michael asked nervously. The computer was being too ominous for his liking. The SQUIP was silent for a moment before appearing nonchalant as though they were not speaking of a serious situation.

“Two SQUIPs awakening in human bodies is improbable to be a coincidence. Adding that both of our bodies had appeared in similar states and when trying to leave the facility we awoke in we were met with desperate violence, there is no doubt that those there knew what we were. They were determined to not let us escape,” they explained. Michael had the feeling that the SQUIP was leaving important things out but he had so many questions about what he had just heard to press the matter further.

“What facility?”

“A building far from here. I didn’t get the chance to see enough of it to determine much. Honestly, most of the journey was a blur. I believe I was unconscious for most of it,” the computer continued, mumbling the last part in thought.

“If its so far away how did you get here?” Michael asked, genuinely invested.

“We stole one of their vehicles. As SQUIPs we are very knowledgeable on many subjects, including…incriminating tactics,” the computer hinted, “After getting what materials we could we abandoned the van a few cities over and transited here to avoid detection.”

“You transited looking like __that__?” Michael questioned while pointing to the computer’s appearance. The SQUIP gave him a flat, unimpressed look.

“If you can imagine, this is more presentable than when we awoke,” they commented bitterly, “We did what we could with what we had. At least like this strangers would believe we were in a fight rather than clinging to life.” Michael felt his heart pang at the last sentence. He knew the two computers were in danger but he didn’t think their appearance had been that much worse only a while ago. The more he heard the more terrified he was of whoever was hunting the two down and even more for his own safety. But, a dark part of him somehow felt that Jeremy and Rich __were__  responsible for their SQUIPs. They shouldn’t be, but they did accept the terms of conditions for purchasing them.

“Do they know who bought you?” Michael asked, afraid now that these people might actually hunt Jeremy and Rich down. The SQUIP gave him a hard look, debating on what to say. Finally, they sighed.

“I can’t confirm…but the possibility is there,” they answered to Michael’s horror. Seeing the teen’s terror the computer continued, “However, the probability is low.”

“How can you say that?”

“The percentage of them having that knowledge is unknown but it could be in our favour. With the addition that my fellow SQUIP and I abandoned their vehicle in a city far from here may indicate to them that we have no intentions of returning to our owners out of knowledge that they could find us there. We are also injured and would have a difficult time finding our way here without supplies or money, or so they may believe. Transiting also took more time than it would have given them to check both Jeremy and Rich for signs of having their SQUIPs returned.” Michael stared at them unsure, still believing that there was danger.

“But what if they didn’t already come? What if they show up tomorrow? Or soon?” he questioned, swallowing the growing lump in his throat.

“Jeremy is safe,” the computer replied firmly, locking eyes with Michael. Their gaze was unwavering, certain, __confident__. The teen was tempted to believe them.

“How do you know?” he whispered, wanting confirmation that, without a doubt, his best friend would be safe.

“Because of you.” Michael was surprised by the answer. With a small smile the computer continued, “I am in your care, not his. If they were to ask him straight about the situation he would honestly know nothing. They have no reason to not believe him or hurt him. If they’re as knowledgeable as I believe then as far as they are concerned both Jeremy and Rich’s SQUIPs have been deactivated. They could easily check to confirm this is still the case through slipping alcohol or Mountain Dew Red into either of their drinks, or through their own SQUIPS. I have no doubt they have someone on their team who possesses one. Yes, we may be human now but I’m sure they believe, as you do, that we will attempt to reactive with our owners. I also have no doubt that they would avoid making such a large move against Jeremy or Rich, such as kidnapping. It would draw too much attention to the secretive project. Especially after the attention I brought to Jeremy through my play stunt, or even the attention brought to Rich through the house fire.” Michael nodded slowly, his stomach lurching at the mention of the play and fire. He still doubted that these people would be as discrete as the SQUIP praised.

“What about Rich?” he questioned quietly, “If they did something as dumb as just ask him, he would know what they’re talking about.” The computer waved their hand dismissively.

“A very successful liar,” they answered unconcerned. Michael couldn’t deny that. He remained silent, however, for a moment as he thought over all he was told. This was so much bigger than he had thought and he didn’t know how to process it.

“Worked out then, huh? Taking you under my custody,” he commented, trying to lighten the mood and convince himself he was doing the right thing. The computer nodded.

“Yes. Otherwise I would have had to go to further lengths to keep Jeremy from making a horrible mistake. He is a poor liar,” the SQUIP agreed. Michael sighed, running a hand over his face tiredly.

“Is there anything else I should know?”

“Any other relevant information will be given when it is appropriate. As of right now, that is all,” the computer replied to the teens annoyance. Michael rolled his eyes but ignored it.

“Fine. I’m going to bed. I’ll deal with… _ _everything__  tomorrow,” he grumbled, moving to leave the room. As he reached for the light switch he paused. Turning he faced the SQUIP. “Hey, what do I call you, by the way? Or are you just __SQUIP__?” The computer blinked for a moment before shrugging.

“That is an acronym for what I am. If you wish, you may call me that. However, seeing that there are two of us in your acquaintance that may become confusing for both you and Rich,” they answered nonchalantly. Michael thought about it for a moment.

“We could always call you SQUIP 1 and SQUIP 2.”

“As amusing as I’m sure you two will find that perhaps a more casual name may benefit you? Avoiding using the term SQUIP both verbally in public as well as through texts would be wise. My companion and I have enough connection left in our systems to hide our trail from other SQUIPs but if you should outright message one another or speak about it there is little that can be done to hide it,” the SQUIP retorted. Michael nodded slightly, hating that he was agreeing with the computer over anything.

“What did Jeremy call you?”

“He didn’t. He always had my attention and thus never needed to gain it. I suppose if I had to recall a time that Jeremy __had__  used a name, it would have been SQUIP.” Michael huffed annoyed at the lack of help he was getting from the computer.

“Fine. What about Keanu Reeves? That’s who you were, right?” he tried frustrated. The SQUIP shrugged.

“I no longer resemble that form and you would most likely gain Jeremy’s attention should he ever hear you say that name. Assuming that I am here long term you must consider that at one point or another Jeremy will hear you reference me.” Michael threw his hands up in the air.

“You know what, I’ll deal with it tomorrow. I am too tired for this,” he said defeated, “We’ll talk in the morning. Go to sleep.” With that Michael turned off the light and closed the door behind him. He leaned against the wood tiredly, trying to calm himself down. He felt awful.

After a moment of careful breathing, he slowly moved across the floor to his bedroom. He didn’t bother turning on the light as he entered and immediately closed the door behind him, making sure it was locked for safety purposes. He instinctively made his way to his bed and flopped on top of the blanket that covered it. Lazily he slide his glasses off and stared into the darkness.

He was exhausted but he couldn’t get his eyes to close. Everything was still swirling in his head. A few hours ago he was surrounded by his friends, albeit feeling lonely. Now he was harboring an injured computer from an evil corporation that may have made the evil computer to begin with. It was insane. What made it worse was that said computer was the SQUIP that hurt his best friend. That hurt him. That made him…

Michael curled up to himself, hugging his arms around his body. Tears began to build up in his eyes and for the first time that night he let them fall. He wasn’t okay. Nothing about this scenario was okay. Nothing was ever okay. Things would only get worse for him. As long as the SQUIP existed he would never be happy. As long as the teen existed he would never be happy. But he cared about Jeremy more than himself. He wanted to protect him. As much as Jeremy claimed he hated the SQUIP Michael knew that he would have taken care of the computer. Jeremy was a good person. So was Michael. So he would do what he had to.

Closing his eyes, Michael attempted to fall asleep with the one haunting thought left in his mind.

The SQUIP was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tomorrow is another day...what will Michael do?


	4. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His stomach filled with dread and knots as he knew he had to say something, to communicate his intentions. But just the idea of saying something nice towards the computer felt wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it starts.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael woke up early the next morning. He barely slept and when he did his mind was filled with nightmares. Nightmares of the demonic super-computer back to hurt him. To hurt his best friend. To s _teal_ his best friend…Six o’clock was the latest he was willing to put up with it.

After changing into fresh clothes and cleaning his glasses Michael exited his room. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the SQUIP just outside lounging in a bean bag chair and watching the quiet TV with distaste. He grabbed at his chest, falling into the door frame as he ran a hand over his face. He was half hoping the night before was all part of his string of nightmares. The nightmares somehow felt more favourable now.

“Good morning,” the deep, soothing voice of the SQUIP greeted, their eyes locking onto Michael. Michael couldn’t find his voice to answer. Instead he glared, an annoyed sigh his only response. Turning away to avoid staring into those cold eyes he has quickly grown to hate, Michael walked to the kitchen. “How long you been awake?” he managed to grumble out, his need to know all the SQUIPs movements since he last monitored them outweighing his need to avoid any interactions.

“A few hours.” Michael paused, his hand hovering over the fridge’s handle. He quickly turned and narrowed his eyes towards the computer.

“How __many__  hours?” he emphasized.

“Three.”

“ _ _Three__?!” Michael exclaimed, “Did you sleep at __all__?!”

“I slept for exactly an hour and a half,” the SQUIP informed, not seeming phased by the question as they turned off the TV. Michael made an unintelligible noise, throwing his hands up in the air in complete disbelief. Taking in a long, slow breath, and clenching his hands to retain any form of composure, Michael motioned towards the SQUIP.

“Is that __normal__  for you?” he asked forcefully, trying to keep his voice steady.

“No. I usually require a longer charging period. However, I found difficulty in resting and decided to ease my mind by being productive,” the SQUIP explained. Michael had to hold in his need to flail his arms again as his mind went into panic mode.

“What do you __mean__ ‘productive’?” he questioned alarmed, his pitch unintentionally raising. The SQUIP gave a small grin, seeming slightly amused at Michael’s reaction.

“Tending to my human body, of course,” the computer answered while motioning to themself, “I’m certain I don’t need to elaborate on the fact that this morning was my first moment __alone__  - and conscious - to evaluate and repair my new physical body. After sleep failed that became my main priority.” Michael stared at them for a long moment, processing all they had said. Reluctantly, he finally moved his eyes away from theirs and looked the computer over. He noticed for the first time that the SQUIP was all cleaned up. Any dirt or dried blood was gone from their pale skin and their bandages were replaced with newer ones. Though their hair seemed mostly dry Michael could tell it was wet not too long ago. Their clothes were also cleaned.

“When did you shower? And clean your clothes?” Michael questioned confused, not knowing how he didn’t hear the SQUIP earlier considering he had an off-and-on sleep.

“While you were asleep. I believe that is obvious considering I would not have had any other time to do so,” the SQUIP replied flatly. Michael resisted the urge to snap back. Instead he let out a forced sigh. He was already tired of how many times he had to hold himself back this morning and if the SQUIP continued with their attitude he wasn’t sure if he was going to hold up.

“What the hell were you wearing while your clothes were washing?”

“I made do with what I could find.” Michael rubbed a hand over his face, already regretting asking in the first place.

“Fine. I guess we’ll have to get you more clothes,” he said with another frustrated sigh. Unfortunately the SQUIP was too tall to fit into anything Michael - or most definitely, Rich - would own. Which means they have to spend money on the evil super-computers, and more than just food money.

Michael ran a hand through his hair, turning his back to the SQUIP so he could let his facade fall a little. He knew he’d have to call Rich to talk about the matter since they’d need to get the computers clothes as soon as possible. Which meant they needed to go out shopping while simultaneously keeping the SQUIPs under surveillance and away from each other. This was already becoming too overwhelming for the teen to handle. Too much stress for six in the morning.

“That would be ideal,” the SQUIP commented, pulling Michael out of his thoughts and forcing him to remember the last thing he said. Shaking his head slightly and forcefully pushing his overbearing mind to the side, Michael opened the fridge. Searching through its contents he let the small fact that the appliance was filled with food comfort him since grocery shopping would not be another weight on his mind for a long while.

“Did you eat while I was sleeping too,” he grumbled just loud enough for the other to hear.

“Very minimally. As I am a guest in your household I kept everything to the essentials,” the computer answered. This surprisingly lifted some stress from Michael, knowing that the SQUIP hadn’t overstepped their boundaries while the teen was off-duty. Giving a small nod he began pulling breakfast items out of the fridge.

“As long as you don’t excessively eat all of our food…I don’t care if you grab something when I’m not around,” he offered, setting up the new boundary. The SQUIP gave a small nod, hesitating slightly as though they were deciding if they should speak or not. After a moment they did.

“Then, with that permission, I believe it would be best if I ate again. What I had earlier was hardly enough to last these three hours,” they suggested, looking at Michael intently for any resistance. When they weren’t met with any they moved to stand. Almost immediately they winced, having to pause their actions as they bit their lip. Despite their obvious pain they continued to stand.

“Hey, don’t move!” Michael quickly interjected before the SQUIP could go too far, “You’re injured, you’re not supposed to be moving at all.”

“I agree. However, I don’t have Green here to aid me. I must tend to myself,” the computer responded, looking indecisive if they should keep going or obey Michael’s command.

“Green?” Michael questioned confused.

“My companion. Or, as you may better know them, Rich’s SQUIP. We rarely call each other by any name since our minds are connected, however to annoy or emphasis the seriousness of our words we may include nicknames. Green is one of theirs,” they explained. Michael slowly nodded.

“Okay…So, what are you? Blue?” he asked curiously, believing the names somehow related to their eye colour.

“Yes. Though if this is a hint towards a possible name for me I would advise against it. It may seem suitable but it could draw attention to you both should someone overhear you talking about ‘Green’ and ‘Blue’ as sentient beings,” they advised, finally deciding to sit back down. Michael sighed again in slight annoyance.

“I’m calling you that anyways until I come up with something better,” he replied as he turned his attention back to preparing his breakfast. Pulling out a frying pan he place it on the stove and turned on the element beneath it. As he waited for the metal to heat up he couldn’t help but glance at the SQUIP awkwardly. His stomach filled with dread and knots as he knew he had to say something, to communicate his intentions. But just the idea of saying something nice towards the computer felt wrong.

Playing with the edge of the egg carton, Michael took a deep breath. “Um…are you okay with…you know, eggs and all for breakfast? You ate normal stuff this morning, right? You can…eat food?” The SQUIP blinked at him, obviously surprised.

“Yes, as I am in a human body, I can eat food. As for your earlier question, I see no issue with what you’ve chosen,” they responded slowly. Michael knew it was a strange question but it was the only way he could think of to inform the SQUIP that he was going to make breakfast for them both without outright telling them. They were injured after all.

“So, no Mountain Dew?” Michael asked, half joking.

“Mountain Dew does have an energizing effect,” the SQUIP answered seriously, “It revived me to an extent while we were traveling. However, it’s hard to tell if this was in direct correlation to the drink or to do with the fact that it had been the first thing I drank since awakening.”

“Well, I hope its the later. Cause Mountain Dew’s banned,” Michael stated, grinning at the end. The SQUIP glared but remained silent.

As Michael happily turned his attention back to frying the eggs his mind began to wander. He thought about what the SQUIP had told him earlier that night. They said they had been unconscious for most of their journey, that they had travelled a long distance both with a van they stole and on the transit. Michael could only imagine how long and intensive the multiple bus rides they would have had to endure to get there would have been. ‘ _ _Well deserved,__ ’ he thought darkly as he smirked to himself.

But his train of thought went elsewhere. He started to wonder how long it __had__ been since the computer last ate before that morning. Did they find food on the way like they had obviously found Mountain Dew and cleaner clothes? Or was the small snack the SQUIP had that morning the first bit of food they had since they woke up in a human body? He wouldn’t be surprised either way since the computer was so good at hiding their condition.

Despite them showing signs of pain, Michael knew that what he was seeing was less than the computer was feeling. He and the other SQUIP had to help them walk around earlier, so Michael knew that whatever adventure the SQUIP did on their own this morning would have been through great pain. Even tending to their own wounds would have been difficult. Michael didn’t even know the extent of the others injuries. Glancing over at the watchful SQUIP the teen could see the more darkened circles under the other’s eyes. Being unconscious clearly did nothing for the computer’s resting cycle. At not knowing the extent of the SQUIP’s injuries or even the last time they properly ate or slept filled Michael’s stomach with guilt. These were all important to a human’s well-being and Michael knew the answer to none of them.

“Uh… _ _Blue__ ,” he called awkwardly. The SQUIP looked at him slightly amused at the name. It must have sounded ridiculous coming from Michael’s mouth but the teen repressed his embarrassment.

“Yes?”

“Before…you know, your snack this morning, when was the last time you ate?” he asked slowly, not knowing if he fully wanted to know the answer. The SQUIP thought about it for a moment.

“I hadn’t.” Michael’s stomach dropped and he looked at the computer with wide eyes. At seeing the alarm on the teen’s face the computer quickly continued, “However, I did have subsistence.”

“Not the Mountain Dew…”

“It was the logical item to gain in a crisis situation. It would have been highly improbable to make it as far as we did without it,” they explained. Michael ran his hands down his face in both disbelief and dread. He couldn’t help but hate himself. It didn’t matter how much he despised the computer, he had a badly injured, starving, sleep deprived __human being__  in his care that he had neglected for hours. No wonder they had such trouble falling asleep. Their stomach was probably eating at them. Not to mention they were in disgusting clothes, covered in dirt, and just been through hell. Michael could hardly think of himself as a better being anymore.

While continuing to berate himself for his lack of care, Michael quickly grabbed the bag of bread and walked over to where the computer sat. “Here,” he offered as he placed it down beside their leg. The SQUIP looked at the food surprised. Glancing between the bread and Michael suspiciously, they hesitantly reached for it.

“Thank you,” they said graciously, cautiously taking a slice out before biting into it, eyeing Michael as though they half expected the gesture to be a trick. Michael nodded guiltily before walking back over to the kitchen.

“To tide you over,” he explained, as he continued making their breakfast. The SQUIP continued to watch him curiously as they ate what they were given, their eyes even more observant of every movement Michael made as they studied him.

The silence continued as the teen finally finished making their food. He had just fried some eggs and prepared buttered toast. He didn’t think anything fancy was in order and didn’t believe the SQUIP would care either way as long as they got to eat. He made sure to make an extra egg for the computer’s plate to help give more protein to the starving machine.

Bringing the food over, Michael reluctantly sat on the bean bag chair beside the SQUIP before passing the computer their plate. The computer took it carefully in their uninjured hand, thanking the teen once more. As they balanced their plate on their lap they began to eat.

“Is it okay?” Michael questioned as he started eating his own food. The SQUIP only nodded in response. Michael could tell that the computer was trying not to devour their food as quickly as possible but instead take their time eating civilly. But that didn’t hide the obvious hunger in their eyes.

They both ate silently, not taking long to finish their meals. Michael took their plates back to the kitchen and washed them. He didn’t want to deal with dishes later. “You should get some sleep,” he suggested, not looking over at the staring computer, “You look like ass.”

“Colourful phrasing,” the SQUIP responded unamused. Michael grinned slightly at annoying the other as he finished up his task. Walking back to the bean bag chair he reluctantly sat back down.

“Seriously, you look like a raccoon. You can’t tell me you’re not tired,” he commented, motioning to the darkness under the other’s eyes.

“I suppose, since my body has been officially taken care of, it would be easier to rest,” the computer conceded. Michael felt guilt again.

“Sorry, for uh, the wait,” he apologized awkwardly. He never wanted to have to apologize to the evil computer again, it felt wrong, but he had to be accountable for his own actions. The SQUIP looked at him for a long moment before shrugging.

“It’s completely understandable,” they replied, sinking more into their chair. After a moment or two of silence Michael noticed the other’s eyes were closed. Quietly standing he went back into his room and retrieved his phone. Pulling up Rich’s number he sent a text.

__Hey. Call when you’re awake._ _

He went to put his phone in his pocket but to his surprise it began to vibrate. An incoming call. Michael blinked surprised but answered. “Hello?”

“I’m awake,” Rich’s voice sounded tiredly. Michael sighed, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

“How was the last few hell hours?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood. Rich gave a small chuckle.

“Hell.” Michael gave a small laugh in return. “Bastard’s so annoying. It’s like he never left! Fucking hate it.”

“Is he trying to take over or anything?” Michael asked seriously.

“No. But he’s going to try! I know it!” Rich exclaimed. Michael shook his head lightly, a small smile at the other’s energy. “What about you?”

“He’s…” he glanced at the partially opened door. He could see the SQUIP still sleeping in their spot. “Behaving. I don’t know, it’s really weird.”

“It’s part of their evil plan!” Rich exclaimed quietly, as though it were a secret. Michael nodded.

“Were they like this? You know, when they were SQUIPs?” he questioned curiously.

“Oh, I forgot, you never had one,” Rich commented. Michael’s stomach dropped a little. He hated feeling anxious and left out for not having an evil super computer in his head. Any semblance of contentment he felt at being the odd one out was slowly being chipped away. Rich continued, “No, they’re being weird. I mean, the smart talk is the same, but they’re being…”

“...Weird?”

“Yeah!” Michael chuckled again.

“I wonder how long they’ll be here…” he commented slowly, dread creeping into his voice.

“Not for long! Fuck that noise,” Rich snorted.

“We might not have a choice,” Michael replied bitterly.

“I don’t care. Once they’re good to go we’re sending them packing. I’m not going to deal with the muppet over here longer than I have to,” Rich retorted. Michael paused, confused.

“...Rich, your not talking in front of your SQUIP, are you?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Dude!” Michael couldn’t find a coherent sentence to say as he opened and closed his mouth in disbelief. He shouldn’t be surprised considering Rich had to live two years with the SQUIP always by his side and hearing everything, but he thought that the other would at least try to be separate from his computer.

“What? He can hear me talking about kicking his ass to the curb,” Rich sounded like he was directing the last part off to someone else. Michael sighed.

“Look, we need to make plans to get them some things.”

“What things?”

“Clothes.” Rich cursed on the other line.

“Do they need those?” he huffed.

“Rich.”

“Fine! How?” Michael rubbed his forehead in deep thought.

“I don’t know. We can’t leave them alone and we can’t put them in the same room - or house, to be honest,” he said frustrated. Rich hummed for a moment before sighing defeated.

“Fine, I’ll go and take Kermit with me.” Michael blinked in shock.

“Wh-You can’t take him out in public!” he exclaimed.

“Why not?”

“Because they’re evil people looking for him!”

“I’ll disguise him. He’ll be fine,” Rich dismissed. Michael shook his head in disbelief.

“This is serious, Rich.”

“Chill out, Mikey, I got this. I’ll Skype call you the whole time.”

“With what Wi-Fi?” Michael heard Rich put the phone aside as he spoke to his SQUIP.

“Hey, Hotspot, can you still connect my phone to the Wi-Fi at the mall?” Michael waited with a sigh as the SQUIP and Rich had a muffled argument over the matter. The SQUIP said something about being ‘offline’ and Rich got mad over it.

“I’ll use my data,” Rich finally conceded, talking to Michael again. “It’ll be fine, promise.” Michael sighed again.

“Fine. Call me when you get there.”

“Kay.” The two gave their goodbyes before hanging up.

~oOo~

“No, Rich.”

“Come on! It’ll be funny!”

“Stay away from Hot Topic,” Michael chastised with a laugh. He had to admit, the idea of buying the SQUIP’s clothes from the store did amuse him to no end.

“I don’t care what you say I’m going back after. I need to buy Kermit here a meme shirt,” Rich said while motioning to the unimpressed male beside him, moving his phone so the camera could see them better. The SQUIP was disguised, as Rich promised. Michael barely recognized the computer with the different clothes Rich had managed to find to roughly fit them. With the addition of sunglasses and a beanie they were forced to wear, they were set.

“Richard, maturity,” the SQUIP replied unhappily. Rich swore at them before turning the camera back to himself. Michael just shook his head, leaning against the kitchen counter. He had put his laptop there when he was rummaging around for snacks. It had been a few hours since he had eaten breakfast and he thought he could at least eat popcorn as he watched Rich on his adventure. After making his snack he remained in the kitchen area to give some sort of peace to the still sleeping SQUIP on the beanie chair. He wasn’t sure at first if the other was actually sleeping but by this point he was certain they were.

“So, Kermit looks better,” Michael commented, referring to the SQUIP’s appearance. The computer had also cleaned up and look well rested. They must have had an easier time than Jeremy’s SQUIP. Rich nodded roughly.

“Course, he’s my bitch,” Rich replied as though that answered the question.

“Very accommodating,” the SQUIP confirmed sarcastically.

“Shut up,” Rich huffed, grabbing the other’s arm and dragging them into one of the stores. Michael grinned as he absentmindedly shoved popcorn into his mouth, watching as Rich argued with his SQUIP on whatever they were looking at. Rich grumpily rolled his eyes and stepped away from the SQUIP and instead turned his attention back to the other teen.

“How’s Neo doing? He looked like hell yesterday.” Michael glanced at the sleeping SQUIP, still feeling guilty for not tending to them better.

“He’s sleeping,” Michael replied, “Still looks fucked up but less so.”

“Yeah. I can’t even believe it, you know? It’s like a movie what they did! Fighting evil dudes and scaling walls and stealing cars!” Rich exclaimed almost excited. Michael couldn’t help grinning.

“Yeah. Doesn’t sound real,” he agreed, feeling some of the other’s excitement. It was easy to get absorbed when it all felt distant.

“I’d be impressed if they weren’t __assholes__ ,” Rich directed the last word off-camera to the SQUIP.

“I’ll keep in mind to politely ask not to be shot at next time I am in peril in order to get a higher opinion from you,” the computer replied sarcastically. Rich flipped them off.

“Hey, Rich,” Michael called, gaining the other’s attention, “What have you been calling your, uh… _ _computer__. Do you just call him Kermit? All the time?”

“Yeah,” Rich replied with a shrug. “Why?”

“Well, Blue over here doesn’t really have a name,” Michael answered, motioning his head in the direction of the SQUIP though Rich couldn’t see them. There was a snicker behind the camera.

“They told you their nickname?” Rich’s SQUIP questioned amused off-screen.

“No. He called you ‘Green’ and I found out through that,” Michael explained slightly embarrassed.

“Ha! Green. Fitting, eh, Frog?” Rich teased, grinning at the hidden figure. He cackled at whatever he saw before turning his attention back to Michael. “Just call him that. Or Neo. Who cares?”

“Apparently it matters,” Michael retorted, propping his head up against his hand, his elbow resting on the counter, “Because if people overhear us talking about them it can’t be suspicious. Or if Jeremy hears…”

“Right…” Rich trailed off, realizing how suspicious it would be if Jeremy ever caught wind of the names they were using.

“Perhaps a variation would be most appropriate,” Rich’s SQUIP suggested. Before Michael could question what they meant Rich and the SQUIP started fighting again, obviously arguing over something the computer picked out but trying to keep it between them. After he felt a long enough pause between the two he spoke up.

“What do you mean?” The camera was now showing off both males as Rich propped the phone up on one of the displays.

“If it feels more natural to call us names based on our previous forms than a variation of those names may stick better,” the SQUIP replied, making a small pile of clothes in a cart that they had obtained at some point. Rich grinned as he sneaked in a few graphic shirts into the pile. The computer obviously noticed and gave an unimpressed look but didn’t say anything. “For example: Richard prefers the name Kermit for me. A possible variation could be Kert.”

Michael and Rich both nodded their heads in understanding. “Kert,” Rich mouthed before pouting, “That’s not funny.”

“It’s not about amusement but function,” the SQUIP chastised, appearing more unimpressed.

“Okay, what about Blue?” Michael asked, genuinely curious.

“Can’t we still call him Neo?” Rich asked.

“Jeremy knows that name. You tease about it all the time,” Michael retorted flatly.

“More importantly their appearance was of Keanu Reeves, not Neo,” the SQUIP explained.

“Does it matter?” Rich questioned, “They’re the same thing.”

“One is a fictional character, Richard.”

“It’s the same thing!”

“Okay,” Michael cut off before another fight could break out. “What variations can be made?” The SQUIP thought about it for a moment and the two teens joined. Michael tried replacing various letters or shortening the name. He wasn’t too satisfied with what he came up with.

“Is Reese a name?” Michael questioned after not having any success with Keanu.

“Like the peanut butter cup?” Rich asked confused. Michael paused before laughing out loud, the other teen joining.

“Yeah, like the peanut butter cup.” The SQUIP rolled their eyes at the two boys.

“Yes, it is a name. Originally a Welsh name spelled R-h-y-s. The spelling, I’m assuming, you’re leaning towards is an Anglicize version,” they explained.

“Cool, I like it,” Michael said, his laughs subsiding but his smile remaining.

“Your humour is strange,” the SQUIP replied with a shake of their head, “It’s a normal name. A famous actress also shares it.”

“Oh! Reese Witherspoon!” Rich exclaimed.

“Correct,” the computer gave a small smile at the teen as though they were proud he was able to call upon that knowledge.

“Is it a girl’s name then?” Michael asked curiously.

“It’s a unisex name which is quite fitting. Though I doubt they would mind either way,” the SQUIP replied.

“Fitting?”

“Yes, since we are both non-binary.” Michael and Rich stared at them for a long moment.

“ _ _What__?” Rich practically screeched. The SQUIP motioned for them to be quiet with an unimpressed look on their face.

“We’re both super computers, Richard. Though our human bodies are both male our mindsets are still one of… _ _previous__  occupation. Thus it’s our duty to adapt to our hosts needs and we both identify as being whatever we must be for our human,” they explained. Rich continued to blink at them confused.

“Wh-I’ve been calling you a guy this whole time!”

“Yes, and I’m comfortable with that since that’s the gender you wished me to be,” the SQUIP answered easily.

“But, you’re human now. It’s different, isn’t it?” Michael questioned. “You don’t have to change for Rich.”

“Yeah, you can be whatever you want!” Rich exclaimed. The SQUIP nodded.

“You’re right. I don’t need to shapeshift to meet your needs anymore. So, to that end, we both identify as non-binary. However, we also don’t mind should either you or Jeremy refer to us by the gender you originally assigned us,” they explained, looking at their human. Rich awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“So…they/them?” he asked hesitantly. The SQUIP nodded with a small smile.

“That’s acceptable.”

“Okay…” Michael let out a breath and looked over at the sleeping SQUIP once more. Considering how much he hated the computer he felt in the last few hours alone he has slighted the computer too many ways to count. To be fair he heard the SQUIPs gender from Jeremy but he should have picked up on the fact that both SQUIPs referred to each other with they/them pronouns. Then again the computer could have corrected him at any point, which only made Michael wonder if he was part of that exception. Considered the same as Jeremy or Rich or if the computer really wasn’t comfortable sharing something personal with him, which seemed unlikely considering how outspoken the SQUIP was.

“Now, let’s finish our task, shall we?” the SQUIP suggested, gaining both teen’s attention.

“Yeah, I’m starving,” Rich commented.

“You just got there,” Michael pointed out.

“And Sbarro’s calling my name,” the shorter replied with a grin. Michael smirked.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with it being Jake’s favourite place, would it?” Rich’s face turned bright red.

“S-Shut up!” he countered weakly. Even the SQUIP grinned at the other’s reaction, shaking their head lightly.

The two in the mall continued to go through clothes. They tried a few on and settled on what they were going to buy. Michael inputted on behalf of the computer he was harboring but most of the decisions were made by the green eyed SQUIP. They were standing in line to pay when Michael heard a shuffling noise. Looking up he noticed Jeremy’s SQUIP was awake, looking around slightly dazed before turning and seeing Michael.

“Mornin,” Michael greeted halfheartedly.

“I believe it’s past that point,” the SQUIP commented as they shifted to stand. Michael rolled his eyes but kept a watchful gaze on the other as they roughly stood. He should have insisted again for the other to keep sitting but they had to move at some point to stretch. The SQUIP bit their lip as they managed to force themselves to stand.

“You need help?” Michael asked slowly. The SQUIP shook their head.

“I can manage,” they replied as they straightened themselves. After gaining their balance they slowly walked over to the counter Michael was at, leaning against the opposite side.

“Did you get enough rest, Blue?” a voice commented from the computer. Michael looked to see the other SQUIP glancing at the phone Rich held. The blue eyed SQUIP eyed the back of the computer before grinning.

“Not the ideal amount but enough for now,” they answered. Michael reluctantly turned the devise so that the other could see the two figures on screen.

“There’s Neo,” Rich commented bitterly.

“We came up with names for you,” Michael explained to the SQUIP, also hinting towards Rich to stick with the names they chose. The SQUIP glanced at Michael curiously.

“And what are they?” they asked.

“I believe they both agreed on naming me Kert,” the other SQUIP commented as they took the phone from Rich so the teen could pay. The blue eyed computer nodded.

“Fitting.” Their gaze turned back to Michael. “And for me?”

“Well…” Michael scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. His anxiety was rising just having the SQUIP watching him so intently. “What about…Reese?”

“Reese?” the SQUIP echoed.

“Yeah, it kind of sounds like Reeves,” Michael explained. The SQUIP repeated the name a little slower before nodding.

“Reese it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And the name is picked! Had to do SOMETHING different than other stories. Especially if Michael's picking the name, he wouldn't be able to draw the knowledge of the actor's name. Plus Reese was too good to give up. Relating a mighty super computer to a peanut butter cup sounded too perfect. Anyways, look forward to the next one!


	5. Figuring It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, you can’t fly or blow stuff up with your mind?”
> 
> “No. But I can make a zombie apocalypse with just a shoe box of SQUIPs and a flask of mountain dew.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not updating sooner! These past two weeks I have been working towards my graduation. Now that that's over I can go back to weekly uploads again!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

As the weekend passed Michael began to worry. He found the SQUIP Saturday morning and barely had to deal with them due to the computer’s need to rest. Other than having to hear the SQUIP make unending comments about their new clothing, Reese - the newly named computer - was relatively quiet. They continued to just observe Michael’s every move or sleep. The teen hated being watched but it was better than having to hear them speak.

But now it was Sunday and tomorrow was a school day. Even if Michael could find a way to take it off he couldn’t do that for more than a day. The SQUIP would have to be left alone eventually. In his house.

The dread and anxiety grew as the hours passed, bringing Sunday to an end. His mind kept racing at the possible outcomes and fears at leaving the computer alone unsupervised for multiple hours, especially now that the SQUIP was rested. Just taking one day to ‘recharge’ and Reese was already more active than before. Not enough to send Michael into overdrive anxiety but enough to keep a close eye.

He didn’t trust the computer. He didn’t trust them to keep their word. He didn’t trust them to not contact Jeremy. To not pull the strings behind everyone’s back and try to take over again. But, at the same time, they gave no indications that they were attempting anything behind Michael’s back. They stayed within eye sight and remained - generally - quiet unless spoken to. Just observing, calculating, and __memorizing__  Michael. But that wasn’t something the teen could ban without seeming like a tyrant asshole.

Michael thought of what he could do to keep the SQUIP in check. He could make more rules but he wouldn’t be able to know if Reese was following them or not. He could put up cameras but the day was almost over and he wouldn’t be able to get any - if he even had the money to do so. He could lock the SQUIP in a room, but that seemed cruel and evil stepmother-like. The only other solution he could think of would be to let Reese stay at Rich’s place during the day so that the SQUIP wouldn’t snoop around his house. But the whole point was to keep the two computers separated, at least until both teens agree that there is no threat. This was something he’d have to talk to Rich about. But at this rate Michael would just have to trust Reese alone.

“Michael,” a gentle voice called. Michael blinked as he was pulled out of his overwhelming thoughts. Looking up from his food he tried to give his full attention to his mother who was talking to him.

“Yeah?” he answered, picking his fork through his pasta.

“You’re being really quiet tonight,” she pointed out, setting her fork down and crossing her arms across the table - a sign of serious conversation. His other mom paused, her fork halfway to her mouth as she looked between her spouse and son, sensing the shift in mood. Michael glanced down. He didn’t want to lie but he couldn’t tell the truth either.

“I’m just…anxious,” he replied honestly. His mother nodded though her brows creased in concern.

“Oh. Bad day?” she questioned gently. Michael knew by ‘bad day’ that she was asking if he woke up anxious or if there was a trigger.

“Just…friend stuff,” he answered as best he could. It was true. The SQUIP belonged to Jeremy and he was taking care of them…and protecting them from evil. Very normal anxiety inducing situation.

He thought his excuse was good enough to diffuse the situation but this seemed to only panic his other mom. Her brown eyes widened as she quickly dropped her fork.

“What happened? Who hurt you? Was it at that party? Was it that Rich boy?” she asked almost alarmed. Michael immediately raised his hands in defense, trying to calm her down. His heart began pounding at the mention of the party but he managed to try and ignore it as he focused on his parent.

“No! I’m okay! Rich didn’t do anything! He’s…actually been helping me,” he admitted, letting his voice soften. This calmed his mom slightly as she let out a breath, brushing her blond hair back. His other mother, the one who initiated the conversation, watched him with more serious eyes.

“Was it Jeremy?” she asked gently. His heart froze as his eyes locked with hers. No, Jeremy didn’t hurt him. He wouldn’t. It was the SQUIP. Always the SQUIP. Always.

__“Did Jeremy tell you that?”_ _

“Yes - I mean…he didn’t do anything, its just…this person who used to pick on Jeremy is back and I’m helping out,” Michael answered, his eyes dropping to his pasta as he picked at it with his fork. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He already had enough on his mind with the SQUIP and every second he couldn’t spend watching the computer was killing him.

“Does his father know?” his mother asked, her brows coming together. Michael shrugged.

“I don’t know…I’ll find out tomorrow,” he replied. His other mom sighed, slumping into her seat as she looked at her wife.

“I don’t like leaving him alone when things like this happen,” she commented as though he weren’t in the room. His mother sighed.

“We can’t be around 24/7.”

“But we can be here more. Martha will understand.” This caught Michael’s attention. His aunts name. She lived in a distant state and if they were referring to her…

“You’re leaving?” he questioned, his voice sounding more disheartening then he intended. This should be a good thing. He had a broken computer he was hiding in their basement and it would be easier if his parents weren’t home. Even so…

“There’s a reunion at our old school and your aunt was begging us to come,” his mother answered slowly. He could tell she felt guilty for this trip. They both always did but they had to go. For work or to see someone they haven’t seen in years. Michael understood, he could take care of himself. But he missed them. And he knows they miss him too.

“We were going to plan for the anniversary too,” his mom added before turning to fully face him, “But we can do that another time. We can stay here. You’re more important.” Michael couldn’t help the water that came to his eyes as he smiled.

“I’m okay. You should go,” he insisted as best he could. As much as he hated it he had to convince them to go. The house needed to be empty.

“She’s right, your Aunt can come here if she misses us so much,” his mother pointed out.

“She’s organizing the reunion,” his other mom contradicted.

“It’s okay, you should go. Give her my love,” Michael encouraged with a soft smile.

“Oh, Honey,” his mom shifted her chair so it was beside his as she hugged him close, “You should give it yourself. She hasn’t seen how big you’ve grown!”

“I saw her at Christmas.”

“You’ve grown so much! Right?” she turned her head to her spouse who shrugged with a smile.

“Our little man,” she agreed. Michael smiled back, managing to untangle himself from his mom’s hug.

“I’ll be okay. I’ll be at Jeremy’s house half the time anyways,” he lied knowing they’d believe it. His mother gave a sceptical look, probably at the fact that he’s spent significantly less time with Jeremy lately, but conceded.

“You call us if anything happens, okay? It doesn’t matter what time it is, we’ll come. For anything,” she assured, her eyes unwavering. Michael nodded slowly, guilt creeping into his stomach.

“I will,” he promised, trying to sound confident.

“Promise,” his other mom insisted, “You’ll tell us right away. Not like the fire at that boy’s place.” Michael gulped slightly but nodded.

“Promise,” he said in nearly a whisper. His mother’s nodded slowly.

“Okay. We’ll be leaving on Wednesday, then.”

~oOo~

“Wednesday,” Reese echoed, watching Michael pace across the room with amusement.

“I just have to keep you hidden until then,” Michael muttered, speaking more to himself than the SQUIP. He could hardly control his antics anymore but he could care less if the computer saw him in this mood. Who would they tell anyways?

“I fail to see why you’re concerned. You informed me that your parents never enter the basement anymore,” the SQUIP pointed out, slowly eating the leftover pasta that Michael had brought for them to eat.

“You never know!” Michael exclaimed, flopping into the bean bag chair beside the computer. The SQUIP raised an eyebrow.

“I suppose there’s always a percentage, but small nonetheless,” they commented.

“Shut up,” Michael grumbled, wiping his hands over his eyes, pushing his glasses up in the process. He let out a long sigh as he let his hands slowly drag down his face.

“We need to make some rules,” he informed, staring at the ceiling rather than the SQUIP.

“I believe you mean __more__  rules,” Reese corrected.

“Shut up,” Michael mumbled again, too tired to sound harsh. “It’s for when I’m at school. You can’t go upstairs, that’s obvious. You can’t touch my computer either. You can sit here and just watch TV or something until I come home.”

“Michael-”

“You can’t use the phone but if I call you __answer__. I’m going to check up on you. If you miss one phone call - __just one -__  that’s it. I’m not going easy on you until you prove you’re not the evil terminator I remember.”

“ _ _Michael__.”

“What?” Michael finally looked over at the SQUIP. Reese looked slightly annoyed, though it didn’t seem directed at the teen. They were rubbing their forehead unhappily, almost appearing distracted.

“I understand you’re rules,” they began, “However, in terms of internet…You must realize that the only way for both Kert and I to gain more information on the SQUIP project as well as determine if it’s safe or not to leave is to have access to your computer.” Michael frowned, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to think of what to say.

“Can’t you just… _ _use__  the internet? Aren’t you a super computer?” he questioned skeptically. Reese was quiet for a moment, their hand resting against their forehead, blocking some of the light from above from reaching their eyes.

“...My separation from Jeremy has caused my systems to go offline. Any connection I had was - and continues to be - used for keeping my presence invisible to other SQUIPs. Even then my connection is weak,” they explained slowly.

“So you need the password to the Wi-Fi,” Michael sighed. The SQUIP rolled their eyes.

“I need your computer. Unless you’re comfortable with me rooming in your basement forever.”

“Hell no,” the teen huffed.

“Well, then…?” the SQUIP tempted with a grin. Michael glared at them for a long moment. They could easily contact Jeremy with a computer. He couldn’t trust them no matter how right they were.

“I’m not trusting you with my computer. Not yet,” he answered firmly. “If it’s so important I’ll talk to Rich to see if he trusts Kert with his computer. If not you’ll just have to wait until I think you’re less of a pain.” Reese sighed annoyed but didn’t argue. Instead they reclined more in their seat, balancing their bowl on their lap and resting their arm better over their eyes.

Michael frowned. “Are you done?” he questioned, referring to the barely touched food.

“Yes,” the SQUIP replied, not moving from their spot. Michael rolled his eyes as he stood. Taking the bowl from the SQUIP he walked over to the counter.

“You’re lucky my mom didn’t see this. She’d hold it over your head forever,” he commented bitterly, a part of him offended the SQUIP didn’t eat what was given.

“You’re mother is a good chef,” Reese replied to Michael’s surprise, “With only the memories that Jeremy provided and of my own experience from the past twenty-four hours, your mother has more than proven herself to be the superior chef.”

“Then what? You’re not hungry?” Michael questioned genuinely.

“My body doesn’t seem to want more than what I have already given it,” the SQUIP answered quietly. The teen walked slowly over to where the computer was still resting, raising a brow.

“...Are you okay?” he questioned cautiously.

“I believe I have a headache,” Reese informed, “Quite common among humans though more incapacitating than I expected.” Michael smirked, feeling more happy than he should at the other’s discomfort.

“So you want to take something for it?” Michael offered, motioning to the bathroom where he keeps his medication. Reese was silent for a moment as they considered the offer.

“It may be in my best interest to accept,” they answered, earning an eye roll from the teen at their aloofness. Michael took his time retrieving the painkillers despite knowing exactly where they were. Even though he didn’t feel overly generous he made sure to get two pills to help ease the computer’s mind since it would be the first headache they’ve ever had in their life.

“Here,” Michael offered as he returned to the common room, offering the pills to the SQUIP. Reese moved their arm from their eyes to see the medication. They took it with a small ‘Thank you’ as Michael retrieved a glass of water. The teen half hoped that the SQUIP would be awful at taking pills - considering they never took one before - but, to his disappointment, they expertly swallowed them.

“Is there anything you __can’t__  do?” Michael questioned slightly annoyed.

“There are many things I can’t do,” Reese answered smoothly, “My skills and knowledge stem from the research I made to help Jeremy.”

“So, you can’t fly or blow stuff up with your mind?” Michael teased sarcastically. The SQUIP gave them a flat, unimpressed look.

“No.” Their expression quickly turned to a grin, “But I __can__ make a zombie apocalypse with just a shoe box of SQUIPs and a flask of mountain dew.” Michael stared at them dumbfounded.

“Wh - It’s not supposed to be like that?” he questioned flabbergasted.

“Of course not. Why would Jeremy and Rich act normal if SQUIPs turned everyone into a zombie?” Reese replied with an amused grin. Michael open and closed his mouth, thinking it over.

“What if everyone acts like zombies when the first get SQUIPs? No one saw Jeremy and Rich when their SQUIPs activated! They could have been zombies,” Michael theorized. Reese gave him a flat look.

“No. It was staged.”

“But why?”

“I already informed you of my intentions that night.”

“To be an evil villain.”

“Yes. If there was a possibility of…my defeat, then I couldn’t leave Jeremy without knowing he achieved his goals. Confidence was part of that goal and he always believed he’d be able to bravely face a zombie apocalypse without aid. So I gave him the opportunity,” Reese explained.

“...Fuck, is there __anything__  that night we can take credit for?” Michael huffed, his whole conception of the play continuing to change. The SQUIP smirked.

“You defeated me. I may have set the stage in case of failure but I still had no intentions of losing,” they answered.

“Well, you did,” Michael grumbled bitterly, “And I’ll always be there to protect Jeremy from you.”

~oOo~

“Hey, headphones!” a familiar voice called. Michael looked around his locker door to see Rich approaching with a small grin. He had to admit that he was a bit surprised to see Rich before classes, but then again they didn’t have something urgent to talk about before.

“Hey,” Michael greeted, closing his locker and facing the other teen.

“How’s Window’s 10 doing?” Rich questioned, getting straight to business. Michael’s eyes darted around to make sure Jeremy wasn’t nearby before he spoke.

“Annoying. You?”

“Same.” Michael sighed, brushing his hair back.

“I hate leaving them home alone…”

“Me too. But what can we do? Hire a babysitter?”

“Doubt it...We just need to get rid of them, you know?”

“Yeah, but how?” Rich questioned, scratching the back of his head.

“Reese mentioned using the computer to…I don’t know, find the bad guys? Figure out who they are?” Michael provided uncertainly. Rich let out laugh.

“I forgot that’s what we named him! Shit - them,” he quickly corrected before sighing. Michael gave a sympathetic smile and patted his shoulder. “So, why don’t we give them a computer?”

“I don’t trust them with my computer. They could-” Michael paused, glancing around before leaning closer to Rich, “I’m not giving them any chance to get to Jeremy…”

“Dude, I get it,” Rich assured, “But if we want them gone…”

“Can Kert use your computer?” Michael asked hopefully. Rich took a moment to think it over before shrugging.

“Nothing in there they haven’t seen before,” he answered. Michael nodded.

“Let’s do that then.”

“Hey, Rich!” A new voice called. Both teens turned to see Jeremy approaching with a large smile.

“Hey tall-ass,” Rich greeted smoothly with a smile. Michael shot him a glare for the comment but stayed quiet, his anxiety spiking too much to speak.

“What are you two doing? I never see you before lunch,” Jeremy pointed out, taking his place beside his best friend. Rich shrugged.

“You gonna arrest me?” he teased. Jeremy gave an awkward laugh.

“N-No, just-”

“Chill Jer, I’m just passing by. See yeah at lunch.” With that Rich turned and sauntered off with a farewell wave. Jeremy and Michael watched after him.

“...Did I interrupt anything?” Jeremy asked anxiously when Rich was far enough away. Michael shook his head quickly with a forced smile.

“Nah. What took you so long?” he questioned, changing topics as he put on his backpack. Jeremy shrugged, his fingers playing with his bag straps.

“I went to see Christine,” he answered with an embarrassed blush. Michael’s smile faltered.

“Couldn’t wait till lunch?”

“I just…wanted to make sure she was okay.” The shorter teen’s eyes immediately turned to concern.

“What happened? Is she okay?” he asked quickly. Jeremy nodded his head though he slouched his shoulders more.

“Yeah, she’s okay…It’s just…I dunno, things got weird at the party,” he answered honestly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…Like, after you and Rich left Christine started talking with Jake and…I dunno. I guess I’m just paranoid.” Michael sighed. Placing a hand on his friends shoulder he gave a reassuring smile.

“Dude, it’s okay. Christine likes you. You don’t have to worry,” he encouraged, hoping his words sounded confident. Jeremy nodded slightly.

“Yeah, you’re right…I guess I’m just…nervous? I mean, what if I’m not good enough without…”

“Don’t.” Michael cut off before Jeremy could voice it. Locking eyes he made sure there was no room for doubt in his words, “You’re perfect just the way you are and if Christine doesn’t like that then she’s not worth it.”

“...But she is worth it,” Jeremy mumbled, his eyes glazing over with adoration. Michael repressed his frustrated sigh and took a step back.

“You’ve lasted this long without the pill. She probably likes you for you,” he pointed out, trying to sound teasing to lift the mood. If he could convince Jeremy then maybe he could convince himself to be happy. Jeremy smiled.

“I hope so.” Hearing the warning bell ring the two teens looked up before at each other. “We should probably go.” Michael nodded before giving a quick goodbye to his friend.

Heading off down the hallway Michael found himself fishing through his pockets for his phone. Pulling it out he immediately started dialing his house number. Talking to Jeremy only reminded him of the living embodiment of his anxiety sitting at home. Finishing entering the number he held the phone to his ear.

****RING-** **

“Michael,” the deep, soothing voice answered.

“Heh, quick answer. You have the phone beside you?” Michael asked snidely.

“Of course. I would hate to be deactivated over a missed phone call,” Reese replied dryly. “Though I saw you less than an hour ago.”

“Test run.”

“Trying to catch me off guard?”

“Of course. There has to be __something__ you fuck up at,” Michael answered as he stopped outside his classroom.

“How unfortunate for you it’s not picking up a phone.”

“Shut up.” Letting out a sigh he pinched his nose. He wanted to rant, to tell the computer how much they messed Jeremy up, for ruining Jeremy’s self-confidence. But, to be fair, Jeremy was always like that. He just learned to depend completely on the SQUIP.

“Michael,” the voice called, bringing the teen out of his thoughts.

“What?” he answered annoyed.

“Knowing what time class begins from my time with Jeremy, I would advise you go to it,” Reese suggested.

“I’m outside my class, and what did I say about being-” Michael paused, glancing around before whispering into his phone, “A __you-know-what__.”

“I don’t want to be blamed for you being late to class,” Reese answered flatly. Michael sighed.

“I’m going to call again later. Don’t fuck up.”

“I doubt you’d let me forget if I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story keeps going slower than I expected but that's okay. Now that all this has been set up I can start moving into bigger plot points. Be prepared :)


	6. Would You Risk It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you doing?”
> 
> “Searching for your pain medication. My headache returned.”
> 
> “And they say karma doesn’t exist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I got to where I wanted to go in this! It took a long chapter to get there but finally I got to the plot point I wanted! Enjoy the long chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

 

****RING-** **

“Michael.”

“What are you doing?”

“Deciding what item in your fridge my stomach would be willing to digest.”

“Are you seriously judging our food?”

“No. In honesty the problem’s more on my part. Don’t concern yourself.”

“I won’t. Just…eat whatever.”

“If my stomach allows it I will. Did you buy your iconic sushi and slushy yet?”

“Shut up, I’ll go when I want.”

“Knowing your lunch schedule I’m sure you’re already on your way. I’ll let you concentrate on your driving.”

The SQUIP kept their promise to answer the phone.

****RING-** **

“Michael.”

“What are you doing?”

“Searching for your pain medication. My headache returned.”

“And they say karma doesn’t exist.”

“If a headache is my punishment for how badly you claim I treated you and friends than my crimes are little indeed.”

“Shut up. You deserve worse. You deserve to be drowned in-”

“...Did Jeremy walk by?”

“...Shut up. The meds are in the bathroom cabinet.”

“I’m aware.”

No matter how many times Michael called, or at what time, they answered.

****RING-** **

“Michael.”

“Tic Tac.”

“Unoriginal. If you’re wondering what I’m doing I’m waiting helplessly downstairs for my enemy’s return.”

“Aww, I didn’t realize the pill makers hunting you found you already.”

“Not amusing.”

“I’m smiling.”

Michael was at least grateful for this. He couldn’t know for sure if Reese was behaving but at least he could tell himself they were. Or if they were going behind his back he could at least slow them down with each phone call. Either way he prepared himself for the worse when he arrived home but the SQUIP was exactly where he thought they would be, sitting in their bean bag chair. He would swear they never moved at all but he knows from their phone calls that Reese had been active all day…which was nerve wracking the more he thought about it.

“Do I need to check my computer for hacking?” Michael questioned, pointing to his room. Reese rolled their eyes as they roughly stood to greet the teen.

“You can search it all you like,” they offered with a wave of their hand. Michael narrowed his eyes suspiciously but didn’t say anything as he swung his bag off his shoulders and onto the ground. As soon as the computers eyes locked on the word ‘RIENDS' Michael shot them a look practically begging the SQUIP to say something. But they didn’t.

Michael and Reese barely exchanged words after that as the teen went through his evening routine. Working on his homework – which definitely drew in the computer’s attention, to Michael’s annoyance -, greeting his mother’s as they returned from work, eating dinner, and then spending the rest of the night playing video games. He half-expected Reese to make an annoying comment on the last part but they didn’t. Then again he did finish his homework so he guessed the SQUIP had no complaints…that he was hearing.

“So…are you, you know, healing? Are you sure you don’t need a doctor?” Michael questioned as he waited for the next scene to load. He couldn’t help but eye the makeshift brace the SQUIP wore on their hand. How they acted as though they were in little pain was beyond him.

“I’m sure I don’t need to repeat myself on getting a doctor,” Reese replied, immediately making Michael regret ever talking to the computer to begin with. “However…”

“...What?” Michael asked, his interest starting to return. The SQUIP was quiet for a moment. They looked unsure if they wanted to share the information which only drew the teen in more.

“...I believe I am...unwell,” the SQUIP finally admitted. Michael snorted.

“Took you that long?” he questioned with a roll of his eyes.

“You misunderstand.” Reluctantly Michael gave the SQUIP his attention again. “My headache…isn’t going away. The medication dulled it but it’s still present. My stomach also seems to be in a state of lack of hunger. This hasn’t changed since last night.”

“So…what? You’re sick? Or are you only taking one headache pill? You know you can take two if your headache’s strong.”

“I am aware,” Reese rolled their eyes, slouching in their seat again. Michael found it funny that the computer that was so set on making Jeremy ‘cool’ - and had even commented highly on Kert’s choice of ‘chill’ clothing for them - that they would sit in such an ‘uncool’ position. Then again it was a bean bag chair, but the SQUIP always tried to sit in more dignified poses despite that. Perhaps they really __weren’t__  feeling well.

“So, what do you want me to do about that?” he asked, looking the computer over for any other signs that they were sick. He noticed once again the food he gave them was barely touched and the bowl was now resting on the floor beside the SQUIP. They did seem unnaturally pale but that hasn’t changed since he found them on Saturday. Reese moved their arm to rest over their eyes - similarly to last night - to block out the light.

“Nothing. I am making you aware so that if the situation worsens you will be prepared,” they answered.

“Prepared to give you more meds?”

“Prepared to call Rich so that Kert can assess me.”

“Aren’t you ‘trained’ enough to assess yourself?” Michael mocked lightly, grinning when the computer shot him a glare.

“I assume if the situation worsens my systems will be too scrambled to assess correctly,” they answered annoyed.

“Why do you __assume__  it’ll worsen? Pessimist,” Michael commented as he turned his attention back to his game.

“Because it already has in the last twenty-four hours.”

“It’s a headache, you’ll be fine.” The SQUIP didn’t reply as the teen engulfed himself in the virtual world.

Michael was grateful for the quiet since he didn’t want to hear the SQUIP’s complaints when he played. He can only imagine the annoyance Jeremy and Rich had to deal with when they played video games with the controlling computers in their heads. He made a mental note to ask Rich if his SQUIP bothered him while gaming and if they still did.

The room was blissfully silence other than the noise from the TV and the occasional outburst from the teen as the hours passed. But that soon enough ended when the SQUIP finally decided to speak up.

“It’s ten o’clock.”

“So?” Michael questioned annoyed, just hearing the other’s voice ruining his mood.

“You have school in the morning,” Reese pointed out, almost sounding sleepy. They must have either just woken up from a nap or about to sink into one.

“What did I say about the SQUIP talk?” Michael asked, turning to glare at the computer. Reese’s blue eyes met his, glowing slightly in the dark of the room, as they stared the teen down.

“If Jeremy or your other friend’s are immature enough to never point out to you the time in regards to school then you should gain new friends. Besides, I’m sure your mother’s would agree with me,” they pointed out frustrated.

“You’re not my friend or my mom so just sit there and shut up. I’ll go to bed when I want,” Michael countered, anger flaring up at the mention of his mom’s by the SQUIP, before turning back to his game. He couldn’t see Reese’s expression but he assumed they were seething in their seat. Good.

Reese must not have wanted to sit in the tense air between the two because they roughly stood up. Making a short announcement that they were going to bed they left the room. Michael didn’t answer them or even acknowledged they left as he continued to game. He was too angry - too annoyed - to deal with them.

After button mashing for another hour or two Michael started to feel the weight of sleep finally hit him. The anger that fueled him was washed away by the story of the game and his body was coming down from the high. His eyelids kept threatening to close but he was determined to keep playing. But his eyes kept closing and at one point he forgot to open them again.

……

……

……

**_**_CLANG_ ** _ **

Michael’s eyes shot open as his body spasmed to life. Looking around wildly, he couldn’t make out his surroundings through his blurry vision. Feeling around his chair he quickly found his glasses folded up neatly beside him, though he couldn’t remember ever taking them off. Finally able to see his eyes snapped to the kitchen behind him. There, behind the counter, was the SQUIP picking up a frying pan that had just - he assumed - fallen onto the counter.

“Oh, did that wake you?” Reese questioned with mock concern. Michael could have killed the SQUIP right then and there.

“ _ _What the__ ** _ ** _hell_**_** _ _?!__ ” he yelled, pulling the blanket on him off - another thing he didn’t remember getting - and quickly standing.

“An accident,” Reese replied innocently as they put the pan on the stove and turned the element on. Michael immediately pulled out his phone to see the time.

__6:30 AM_ _

The time he’d normally wake up for school.

“Accident my ass,” Michael hissed, glaring back at the SQUIP.

“Well, it’s convenient that I dropped this at the __exact__ time you were __supposed__ to wake up for school or you might have slept in,” Reese continued, their voice dripping even more in the dramatic innocence.

“Don’t fucking lie,” Michael snapped, storming over to the counter.

“I’m not lying,” the SQUIP replied, their voice returning to normal, “It was my full intention to wake you like that but I grabbed the pan with my injured hand and honestly dropped it. It worked either way.” Their grin just fueled the teens anger even more.

“You know what? That’s probably strike three on ‘SQUIPing’. Why I keep letting you get away with it is beyond me! I’m done,” Michael grabbed his bag from where he left it on the ground and pulled it up onto the counter. He immediately started fishing around inside it and quickly pulled ou the Mountain Dew Red. Reese’s eyes widened dramatically and they took a step back.

“Michael, don’t be irrational,” they reasoned, putting their hands up in defense.

“You were warned. We said one slip up - __one__  - and that was it. I think I gave you a few chances. I was being nice. But I shouldn’t have cause you’re a fucking nightmare!” Michael snapped, pointing at the computer at the last part.

“Believe me if I was your SQUIP you wouldn’t have forgotten to turn on your alarm to begin with,” Reese countered, “You also would have gotten to bed on time and gotten the proper amount of sleep. __Many__ things would be different.”

“You would have been already dead if you were mine,” the teen sneered.

“On the contrary. I bet you would have kept your SQUIP for a lot longer than you expected,” Reese challenged. Michael’s eyes narrowed.

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because if you __had__ been SQUIPed with the rest of the school, as I planned, your SQUIP would have automatically synced with me - Jeremy’s SQUIP. Your desires would have been linked with his. You wouldn’t have felt lonely because you wouldn’t have been separated from Jeremy anymore. You would have had friends who understood you better. Your anxiety - yes, I know you have it - would be neutralized by your SQUIP, if you desired, and any wish you wanted would have been granted. Even, perhaps, Jeremy himself?” Michael froze, his eyes staring wide. How did the SQUIP know? Did Jeremy know? The SQUIP couldn’t have known if Jeremy didn’t know. If Jeremy knew since back then…oh God, was that why Jeremy didn’t want to be friends with him anymore? Did he think Michael was pathetic? Was that why he was being extra nice now? Trying to get him to go to parties and gatherings? Cause he pitied him? Thought he was pathetic and a loser who would never be able to find anyone else? A loser who couldn’t stand to be without him? A loser who’d do anything for him? A loser who’d keep the SQUIP away for him? A loser who just wasn’t good enough? A loser…Jeremy must hate him…pity him…think less of him…wants him gone…

“ _ _Get out of my way, Loser.__ ”

“Michael.” Michael blinked as he was brought out of his dark thoughts. He shifted his eyes up to meet the SQUIPs. Reese had approached the other side of the counter, coming as close as they could without walking around, and was watching Michael with…concern?

The teen opened his mouth to reply, but his voice wouldn’t sound. He could feel something warm trail down his cheeks and he quickly reached a hand up and wiped it away. He was crying. He was crying in front of the SQUIP. For something as simple as mentioning that they knew he had a crush. He was pathetic.

“Jeremy doesn’t know,” Reese informed quietly, bringing the teens attention back to them. Michael frowned, unconvinced. The SQUIP gave a small grin. “Jeremy is…dense. He is terrible at recognizing situations and feelings around him. Something I hope I improved. I never told him of your affections since it was not my business unless Jeremy gave me indications that he wanted it to be his business.” Michael gave a small, bitter laugh.

“That just confirms it,” he says quietly with a sniff, “He never thought of me like that.”

“Jeremy is dense,” Reese repeated more firmly, “Honestly, it was only at the play did he start admitting to himself what he actually wanted from me. If he had kept me longer, I’m sure we would have gone through real character growth. Including discovering his sexuality.”

“What?” Michael asked shocked, his eyes widening. Reese raised a brow.

“You’re smart, Michael. You must know Jeremy’s not straight,” they stated, crossing their arms on the counter and leaning on it. Michael open and closed his mouth a few times before sighing.

“Yeah…but, I mean, if he says he’s straight I have to believe him. Until he tells me otherwise, you know? I can’t tell him what he is,” he replied, resting the bottle in his hands down. The SQUIP’s eyes shifted to it quickly. It was quiet as they both looked at it.

Michael sighed. “You talked your way out of this one. But quit being a SQUIP,” he warned quietly as he put the drink back in his bag. Reese gave a small nodded, letting out a breath. Relaxing, they rested their head against their hand.

“There is no reason that we can’t be friendly,” they pointed out. Michael snorted.

“There’s a hundred and one reasons.”

~oOo~

“They shared things about Jeremy? What the hell! Isn’t that like doctor/patient confidentiality crap?” Rich exclaimed beside Michael’s locker. Michael shrugged.

“I don’t know. You’re the one with Windows 10. Did you sign a contract or something?” he asked only half serious. Rich crossed his arms with a huff.

“No. But still! Not cool.”

“They didn’t say anything I didn’t already know…sort of,” Michael defended with a sigh. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with them.”

“It’s easy. Sit them in the corner and ignore them. Piss them off when you can and go to bed,” Rich advised with a grin. Michael gave a small laugh.

“Easy for you to say. You lived with them for two years,” he retorted.

“Yeah, but it’s different, you know? They can’t tell me what to do anymore,” Rich answered.

“So they don’t try to tell you what to do?”

“No, they do. I just ignore them.”

“You should tell them to stop. That’s breaking the rules.”

“Yeah, but…I don’t know. I was a top student cause of them, you know? I can’t be too mad if they tell me to study cause I got good grades because I used to listen to them…it isn’t bad advice,” Rich mumbled. Michael sighed, closing his locker door.

“Rich, you’re letting them take over,” he warned.

“I’m not, I swear. I promise,” Rich assured, though Michael was still doubtful.

“Hey, Rich! Here again today?” Jeremy’s voice piped up as he approached his friend’s locker. Both teens looked at the new comer.

“Yep! Talking to Mikey about some hot dudes,” Rich said as he slung his arm around Michael’s shoulders and wiggled his brows suggestively at Jeremy. Michael’s face heated up in confused embarrassment as Jeremy looked from one to the other taken a back.

“Oh…cool,” he said unsure.

“Anyways, see you later nerds,” Rich said as he unhooked his arm and walked off. Michael and Jeremy watched him leave before turning to each other.

“...Is something going on?” Jeremy questioned his friend.

“What? No. Why?” Michael asked, trying not to sound alarmed.

“I don’t know…Rich left with you at the party…and now he’s at your locker two days in a row…”

“Wha - We’re not - you know, anything! It’s a coincidence, I swear.”

“...You’d tell me, right?” Jeremy asked, his eyes nervous. Michael nodded, giving his friend a reassuring smile.

“Of course, you’re my best friend. That means you have to listen to me gush __all__  about my guy when I get one. But it’s not Rich.” Jeremy nodded, his smile widening.

“Kay, cool. I’ll tell the other’s that. They think you two are dating.” Michael’s face dropped.

“ _ _What__?!” Jeremy blinked.

“T-They saw you leave the party early with Rich.”

“ _ _So__?”

“Y-You never did that before…I-I think they just think you…you know, since you’re both into guys…and then Rich was at your locker yesterday…I told them you’d tell me if something happened but they didn’t believe me,” he explained awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Michael could already feel the anger and anxiety building in his chest at the news. Could he not do __anything__  without the group thinking something’s going on? At least they didn’t know the truth, but still!

“I didn’t fuck Rich!” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down so other students around them didn’t hear. Jeremy raised his hands in defense, looking more nervous at taking the heat of his friends anger.

“I-I know. I’ll tell them,” he assured, “Though I don’t know if they’ll believe me…” Michael was more than ready to tell them himself. Very loudly. Jeremy was saved from any more anger as their conversation was cut short by the warning bell for class. Michael glared up at the speaker but it was probably best if he cooled down away from his friend. He didn’t want to yell at his Jeremy for something he didn’t do. With a disgruntled goodbye he headed off to class.

Fishing his phone out of his pocket he angrily punched in his house number. Holding it up to his ear he waited.

****RING-** **

“Michael.”

“Everyone thinks I fucked Rich,” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down again. To his surprise - and annoyance - the SQUIP burst out laughing on the other line. A real laugh.

“ _ _What__?” they questioned through their laughter.

“They think Rich and I are sleeping together! Or dating or something - s _ _top laughing__!”

“I apologize. I didn’t expect to be told that so bluntly,” Reese apologized as their laughs subsided.

“Well, I didn’t expect to hear it so bluntly,” Michael grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh, “At least it benefits __someone,__  laughter being the best medicine and all.”

“Very optimistic of you considering the situation,” Reese replied amused.

“This is your fault.”

“I doubt that. Any time you and Rich spend together is on you. Kert and I haven’t told you to converse.”

“Shut up,” Michael sighed. “I hate gossip.”

“It’s a strong social construct. If you want it to go away I’d suggest distracting them with an even better story.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not your SQUIP, I don’t have to provide that.”

“I hate you.”

“What are enemies for?”

~oOo~

****RING-** **

“Michael.”

“Tic Tac.”

“I’m behaving.”

“Doubt it.”

“There’s nothing I can say to convince you otherwise, I’m sure.”

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to find a show to watch that isn’t insufferable.”

“Haha, good luck with __that__ , Wintergreen.”

****RING-** **

“Michael.”

“Floppy Disk.”

“Should I be flattered by the upgrade in nickname?”

“You’re not? I’m crushed. And Jeremy told me how much you ****love**** those __upgrades__.”

“Sarcasm noted.”

“What are you doing?”

“Taking your medication.”

“Again? Seriously, Dude. Your head’s messed up.”

“It feels that way.”

****RING-** **

“...Michael.”

“That was delayed. You still alive?”

“I’m answering from beyond the grave.”

“Cool, I’ll send out the invites to your funeral party. I’m sure everyone will want to celebrate.”

“...Amusing.”

“...Are you okay?”

“...I feel unwell.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am…disoriented. It’s hard to concentrate…”

“Try sleeping.”

“I will.”

****RING-** **

“...Michael.”

“Did you sleep?”

“You will see me shortly, was this necessary?”

“I’m driving Rich and Jeremy home. I want to know if it’s serious enough to tell Rich.”

“It would be wise in case it worsens.”

“Is it worse?…Reese?”

“...Yes? Interesting hearing you say my name. You never call me by it.”

“I have the curse of always having your attention. I’m telling Rich. You’re delaying too much.”

“I nodded off, I apologize.”

“Get more sleep. I’ll be home soon.”

Michael had to admit he was worried. Something was definitely up with the SQUIP, he just didn’t know what. He thought about all the things that could be causing this but he didn’t know the answer.

He made sure to tell Rich all that was happening. Rich didn’t seem to have any better ideas then him but he promised to tell Kert to see if the functioning SQUIP - who was not suffering the same symptoms - would know what was happening. But Rich did have one insight Michael didn’t have.

“What if it’s not a human thing? What if it’s like…a SQUIP thing?” Michael hadn’t thought of that. Reese did say it was mostly a headache, and now feeling disoriented? What if the computer had a virus? How would they even deal with something like that?

He got home as soon as he could and immediately went to the basement. He found Reese exactly where he thought they’d be, sleeping in their bean bag chair as they said they would. Michael hesitantly went to the computer’s side to check that they were, indeed, sleeping. The SQUIP was so quiet they could have been dead. But they weren’t, to Michael’s relief.

Quietly putting his bag down he pulled out his homework and decided to do his best to concentrate on what he needed to do until Reese woke up. Or until Rich contacted him with, hopefully, more information.

Michael was able to get all of his homework done and was able to greet his mothers when they returned from work. He talked with them as they finished packing and had their farewell dinner. He tried his best to keep his attention on his parents since they would be leaving when he went to school the next day but his mind was still on the computer downstairs. He tried to convince himself that Reese would be awake by now and is probably waiting for him but he was still nervous. What if Reese didn’t wake up? That was a silly thought, but he really didn’t know what he was dealing with.

As soon as his mothers said goodnight - he made sure to give them the best goodbye hugs he could in apology for not paying full attention to them - he rushed to the basement. Descending the stairs he let out a breath of relief. Reese was awake.

“Hey, you feeling better?” he asked in slight greeting, looking the SQUIP over as he approached. Reese didn’t seem to hear him as they tiredly rubbed their forehead. Their eyes were downcast as they used the shadow of their arm to block out the light.

“...Reese?” Michael called slowly as he cautiously approached the other. He didn’t want to startle them. There’s eyes shifted up slowly to meet his.

“Michael,” they greeted, their voice quiet.

“Are you okay?” Michael asked gently, kneeling down in front of them. Reese shook their head, their whole body swaying slightly.

“I feel…distant,” they answered, their voice almost a whisper. Michael put a hand on their shoulder to keep them still as he put the other on their forehead. They were cold. Reese shivered, almost as though they couldn’t tell how cold they were until now. The SQUIP leaned into Michael’s hand, the only source of warmth near it.

“Shit, you’re freezing,” Michael cursed, taking his hand away.

“You’re very warm,” Reese answered quietly, shivering again. The teen looked around and spotted the blanket that was on him this morning folded up beside his chair. Grabbing it he let it unfold before putting over the SQUIP. Reese looked at the blanket distantly, as though they didn’t really compute what it was or what Michael did.

“I’m calling Rich,” Michael informed as he took his phone out of sweater pocket. Reese didn’t answer as the teen punched in the number and raised the phone to his ear.

“Hey, Mikey,” Rich greeted almost guiltily.

“Reese is getting worse,” Michael informed, his voice worried.

“Shit, how?”

“They’re acting weird. Like, they’re not even here. And they’re really cold too.”

“Hang on, I’m putting you on speaker phone. I told Kert what was going on and they’ve been looking it up.” Michael waited as he heard the other line become more echoed.

“Michael?” the voice of the other SQUIP called, “Can you repeat what you told Richard?”

“Reese is freezing cold and they’re acting really distant. I don’t even know if they know I’m talking to you right now and they’re right beside me,” Michael explained, looking at Reese concerned.

“You’re speaking to Rich,” Reese mumbled, rubbing their eyes.

“I’m taking to Kert. Here, I’m putting you on speaker phone,” the teen pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed the speaker phone button.

“Blue?” Kert called, their voice gentle and coaxing as though the nickname might cheer the SQUIP up.

“Green,” Reese replied with a small grin.

“Is your mind safe for synchronization?” Kert asked gently. Michael frowned but stayed quiet as Reese thought it over.

“I don’t know if it’s wise but you can try,” they answered.

“What do you mean ‘ _ _synchronization__ ’?” Michael asked sternly.

“If you give me permission I can go into their mind and find out the exact problem, and possibly fix it,” Kert answered. Michael was ready to shut down the idea but paused. Syncing now wouldn’t open doors that were previously closed. It was an emergency and nothing could change that.

“What if you get whatever he’s got? Shit – they.” Rich asked, quickly correcting himself.

“There is no chance that a computer virus could effect the body in that way. Similarly a body virus can’t travel through a computer network. The percentage of harm is low,” Kert answered.

“…Do it,” Michael said, barely above a whisper. He hated it but he had no choice. Reese’s gaze locked with his. Their eyes were hazy, slightly out of focus but they were looking at him.

“Thank you,” Kert said graciously. It was silent as they waited for something to happen.

Reese’s eyes began to glow and their brow furrowed as though they were concentrating. After a moment or two their eyes returned to normal and they slouched in their seat seeming more tired than before.

“…It’s…hard to determine,” Kert’s voice informed slowly.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong with them?” Michael asked, getting more concerned.

“Their connection is too weak for a clear transaction. It’s almost as though their metaphorical battery is low,” the SQUIP explained.

“But all they’ve done is sleep. Doesn’t charge you?” Michael argued.

“Perhaps Mountain Dew is the solution.”

“What? How can __that__  be the solution?” the teen questioned baffled.

“I share your skepticism, however it does have an energizing effect when I consume it. It is the difference between Reese and I at the moment. It could be worth looking into,” Kert informed.

“You’re giving them Mountain Dew?” Michael condescended.

“What? It’s just a drink,” Rich defended, “It’s not like I’m drinking it.”

“Why aren’t you more cautious with all of this?”

“Hey, I know my SQUIP. You never had one. I know more about them than you do so don’t tell me what to do.” Michael huffed annoyed, gripping the phone tightly. Once again he was reminded of not being SQUIPed. Why is it something rubbed in his face? He should feel lucky, not shamed.

Michael jumped when he felt a hand grip the hand that held the phone. He looked down at Reese surprised, the other seeming suddenly annoyed. “Hang up,” they instructed quietly. Michael open and closed his mouth, not knowing how to react. What had gotten into them all of a sudden?

“I…Kert, I’m going to hang up,” he said slowly, surprising himself that he was even listening to the SQUIP.

“Michael, if their condition worsens try the Mountain Dew. Call Richard immediately either way, I wish to be informed on their condition,” Kert answered seriously.

“Yeah, okay.” With a quick goodbye Michael hung up, his eyes not leaving Reese’s for a moment. “…What was that?”

“Rich overstepped his boundaries,” Reese replied, letting go of Michael’s hand and relaxing into their chair. Michael sighed.

“He didn’t. He’s right.”

“He’s wrong. Any information he has about SQUIPs were given to him by Kert. You learned everything you know on your own and at a faster rate than him. You’re caution with us is justified. Rich is too comfortable with Kert to even consider himself in danger. Kert would never hurt him but they aren’t the threat we’re hiding from,” Reese explained, their voice quietening more at the end. Michael nodded slowly.

“...So, what do we do?” he asked carefully. The SQUIP’s eyes locked with his.

“We do as Kert advised us and wait.”

~oOo~

“Are they feeling better?” Rich asked the next day. Michael sighed, closing his locker door.

“No, but they aren’t that much worse either…” he answered, slinging his bag over his shoulder, “…I’m going to buy Mountain Dew at lunch.”

“You don’t actually think that’s it, right?” Rich questioned unsure. Michael ran a hand threw his hair.

“I don’t know. It sounds too stupid to be real. But…I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Better hide it from Jeremy or he might freak out. Heck, I’d freak out,” Rich advised, patting the other’s shoulder. Michael nodded.

“So would I.”

~oOo~

****RING-** **

“...Michael.”

“Are you alive?”

“Barely.”

“Is it worse?…Reese?…Reese!”

“...Yes?”

“Dude, don’t freak me out!”

“I apologize.”

“Look, I’m getting the drink at lunch when I go to 7/11. Can you last till I get home?”

“I have little choice in the matter.”

****RING-** **

“...Mmh?”

“Shit, you’re dying aren’t you? Fuck, this isn’t my fault!”

“Michael.”

“What?”

“Breath.”

“Don’t __you-know-what__  me when I’m freaking out at you!”

“Breath.”

“Shut up.”

****RING…RING…RING…** **

Michael’s heart began to race as the phone continued to ring. He was briskly walking through the parking lot to his car at lunch but his pace quickly slowed.

“Pick up,” he whispered, panic creeping into his voice. To his horror his home’s voice mail answered him.

“Don’t,” his voice cracked as he hung up and dialed the number again, “Don’t do this…” He waited again.

****RING…** **

“Please.”

****…RING…** **

“Don’t do this.”

****…RING…** **

“You don’t want to risk it.”

****...RING…** **

“Remember?”

****…RING…** **

“Pick up!”

But only the voice mail answered.


	7. …RING…RING…RING…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I need your number. I need to talk to Kert.”
> 
> “Wha – Why? What happened?”
> 
> “Reese happened! They…Their…I don’t…I…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a day late! Had a lot going on and I wanted to write more in this chapter. Also wasn't sure where I was going to end it and ended up surprising myself. So, there you go! (P.S. The chapter name was actually quite nice before but I thought it gave too much away so I had to change it. I wonder if the replacement gives off the same message...the same 'voice message'.)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael never thought he’d ever be in a position where he’d be testing the speed limit, but there he was. His heart pounded in his chest with each passing minute and even more with each red light. His mind was everywhere at once but only two thoughts repeated in his head: _Get home. Call home._  The teen had propped his cell phone up in the cup holder when he entered the car and had his house number already dialed. On speaker phone he constantly called.

****RING…RING…RING…** **

Only voice mail.

There was a part of him that kept insisting that the SQUIP just fell into a deep sleep or is doing something away from the phone, but it was wishful thinking. With each passing call his mind went to worse scenarios, and the overwhelming truth kept returning. __This is my fault__.

The drive felt agonizingly long but as soon as his car pulled up to his house Michael immediately bolted out, barely taking the time to lock the vehicle behind him. Stumbling to take the keys out of his pocket and unlock the door, he frantically got inside.

“Reese?!” he shouted, slamming the door behind him to make more noise. He waited, trying to hush his own heartbeat to hear for a quiet answer. But none came.

“No, don’t fucking do this,” he whispered as he rushed to the basement stairs, descending them as fast as he could. He didn’t need to get to the bottom to see the entire room, and he easily found the SQUIP.

Reese was lying on the floor far away from their normal spot. Their face was just visible to see that their eyes were closed but Michael knew by the uncomfortable position they were in that they were not sleeping. Toppled beside them was the house phone, at too strange an angle to have been put there carefully.

Noticing how still the computer was Michael rushed to their side. “Reese?” he called, shaking their shoulder gently. The SQUIP didn’t react. Michael tried again to shake them but to no avail. As his panic rose as he tried to calm himself down enough to figure out what to do. He needed to find out if they were…So he checked their vitals. To his relief they still had a heartbeat and were breathing - if barely.

“O-Okay, you’re alive,” Michael whispered shakily. Concerned for their breathing he shifted the SQUIP into a more comfortable position so that it’d be easier for them. Not knowing what else to do he reached inside his pocket for his phone…only to realize it was still in the car.

“What the fuck, Michael,” he cursed as he raced back upstairs. He ran as fast as he could out of his house and back to his car. Somehow his mind convinced him that if he moved fast enough that Reese’s condition wouldn’t change, that they’d still be breathing when he got back. But his darker thoughts kept convincing him he wouldn’t be fast enough. This made him hardly careful as he tore his car door open and retrieved his phone. He kept stumbling with his keys to lock the door again and nearly tripped over the stairs getting back inside.

He tried his best to type in Rich’s number as he got back downstairs. To his relief Reese was still alive. It had been less than two minutes so it shouldn’t have been a surprise but he was grateful anyways. Sitting back beside the SQUIP and trying to quiet his deafening heart he let his phone ring.

****RING…RING…RING…** **

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Michael swore darkly, already hating the sound of ringing phones. To his slight relief it didn’t go to voice mail.

“Hey, Mikey! Still at 7/11?” the familiar voice answered on the other line.

“What took you so long?!” Michael snapped, unable to keep himself calm anymore.

“Wha…I didn’t hear my phone ringing,” Rich replied honestly, taken aback. Michael tried to take a deep breath but failed.

“Do you have a landline?!”

“What?”

“At home, do you have a landline? Or any kind of phone?”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

“I need your number. I need to talk to Kert,” he demanded, finding it harder to stay still as he began fidgeting.

“Wha – Why? What happened?” Rich asked alarmed.

“Reese happened! They…Their…I don’t…I…” Michael had a hard time trying to get words out as he looked the SQUIP over. They seemed so still, so lifeless, so different from the computer he’s been fighting with the last few days. The silence was overwhelming. There were times when the SQUIP was quiet, yes, but their presence never left. They always made themselves known and the teen could always feel their gaze. A presence he’d gotten used to that seemed unnaturally gone.

There was a part of him that hated the SQUIP for this. He didn’t need this in his life right now, he already had enough going on. Yet the computer continued to make his life worse. If it wasn’t twisting Jeremy up it was dying in his house. What made it worse was that it would be __his__  fault if the SQUIP…didn’t make it. Kert was doing fine so there was something __he__  was doing wrong. He couldn’t even keep one computer alive, one __human__. It would be __his__ fault and no one would ever belief otherwise. How could it not be his fault? To not be intentional? It was Jeremy’s SQUIP after all, how could he not be the one responsible for killing it? No one would ever belief him it was an accident. But then again…no one even knew he had it…which sounded even more like a murder!

No one knew he had it but Rich…Jeremy didn’t know…didn’t know that his SQUIP was nearby…and was…Would Jeremy care? Michael had no doubt that if the roles were reversed Jeremy would have known what to do to keep his SQUIP alive. He should have let Reese go to him. Jeremy would have better taken care of them. The SQUIP would have been happier. Michael really was the worst, letting a human being die completely unhappy. Jeremy was probably all they really wanted. Jeremy was all they knew…Jeremy was literally their whole reason for existing…and Michael was detaining them away from that. No wonder the SQUIP hated him. Who wouldn’t? Jeremy hated him. His friends weren’t really his friends. No one wanted him there. He just made things worst. He would have been better off-

“Michael?” Michael jumped when he heard Rich’s concerned voice. He sputtered, choking slightly. He didn’t even notice he was hyperventilating. He took a moment to shake his thoughts away and concentrate.

“ _ _Breath.__ ”

He would never admit to himself that it wasn’t his voice he hear in his head, but he listened anyways. Taking in a deep breath he tried to regain himself and calm his shaking. “R-Reese is…unconscious,” he said as best he could. He wanted to sound calm but his voice crack probably said otherwise.

“Shit, how do you know?” Rich asked shocked.

“I-I came home. They weren’t answering the phone and…something’s wrong. They’re not waking up and I don’t know what to do,” Michael answered, letting his emotions show.

“Did you try the…drink?” Rich questioned, pausing as though others could hear him. They probably could.

“No…I rushed home.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I need Kert. Can you give me your number?” Michael waited for an answer but it didn’t come as fast as it should have. With each passing moment he got more unnerved and frustrated by how long it was taking Rich to answer.

“…I could…but I told Kert not to answer the phone…ever,” the teen finally answered.

“ _ _Rich__!”

“I’m sorry! We don’t do the phone thing like you do. My brother calls home sometimes and so does his friends. What if Kert answered? They’d know someone’s in the house!” Rich exclaimed in defense. Michael buried his face in his hands.

“What do I do?” he whispered helplessly. He couldn’t call the hospital because the SQUIP people could find Reese. He couldn’t call Kert. He couldn’t call Jeremy because they would be even more lost then him. He wondered if he banged on Rich’s house door if Kert would answer…but he’d have to leave Reese alone to get there. It would be the same if he decided that Mountain Dew was the way to go…Could he leave Reese alone like this? If he asked Rich to find a way there too much time would pass…What could he do?

“Hey, you want me to ditch? I could be there in…I could be there!” Rich offered, obviously avoiding how long it’d take to travel there, the same fear Michael had.

“I don’t know…” he answered honestly. This is the one time he wished the SQUIP was there to give advice. They would know what to do in a crisis situation, they were trained. He tried to think of what they would do but his mind was too clouded. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do anything right. When did he become so helpless? Or was he only strong when Jeremy needed him to be?…No, that couldn’t be true. Or, at least, right now he couldn’t let it be true. He had to figure this out. He had to be the SQUIP’s ‘one percent’, not just when it was convenient. He could do this.

“...I need Kert,” he finally said, “I need you to get them.”

“Okay, I can do that. But it will take a while to get to my house and then there…where do you even live?” Rich questioned.

“I’ll text you my address. I’m not too far,” Michael took a deep breath, “I’m getting the Mountain Dew.”

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t know what else to do! Kert thinks it might work so I’m going to get it. If it’s doesn’t then we’re shit out of luck! But I’m getting it and maybe something that stupid will work,” he exclaimed.

“...Okay, but keep me posted! I’ll be there soon.”

“Thanks.” Hanging up the phone Michael took another deep breath. He needed to focus. Looking the SQUIP over one more time he felt his body resisting to move, but he had to. The faster he left the faster he’d be back. He could do this. He would.

Taking in another deep breath Michael left the room and the house entirely. He felt like a timer was tracking his speed as he raced to his car and drove away from the SQUIP. Did he think Mountain Dew would help? No. It did nothing but activate SQUIPs, and if Reese was possessing a body that wasn’t theirs - which Michael hadn’t thought about since he got the computer - than they already would have been activated. Wouldn’t they? Either way he needed to try. The body was dying as much as the mind and he needed to revive them. If Kert thought that Mountain Dew was the cure than he was going to get it.

Rushing to the 7/11 he quickly got what he needed. He’d been there enough times to know exactly where to go. Grabbing the Mountain Dew - which he admitted made him freeze at the sight - he went to the cashier. They knew him well enough to help him get in and out as fast as possible. He couldn’t have appreciated them more. Getting back to the car he started speeding home. On the way he made sure to call the school to let them know he wasn’t feeling well and was taking the rest of the day off. It took a bit of convincing but eventually he won the nice secretary over.

Despite knowing the result, Michael constantly called home. He kept hoping that despite everything that the SQUIP would answer. But with each passing, haunting, ring he was met with the same voice mail. He hoped after today he’d never have to hear any voice mail again.

Finally returning back he got out of the car and headed back to the house. To his surprise his phone began to ring. Grabbing it he put it to his ear as he unlocked the door.

“Rich?” he questioned, hoping to hear good news. He was shocked at what he got instead.

“…Mmh…”

“Reese?!” he called alarmed, dropping his keys and struggling to catch them before they fell. His heart rate went through the roof as he anxiously waited a response but was only met with labored breathing. “You know what? Don’t answer. Hang in there, I’m outside.” Without another word he burst in.

He was across the house and down the basement stairs in seconds, immediately going to the computer’s side. Reese was relatively in the same position that he left them, the only difference being that their arm was now outstretched to the phone and they were, in fact, awake.

“Reese,” he called gently to get their attention. The SQUIP moved to look at the new comer but let out a small moan instead as their eyes closed. “Don’t you dare fucking faint, Tic Tac!” Michael cursed as he tried to shift the other into a sitting position. Reese’s eyes returned to half-lidded as they tried to move again but ended up settling into a reclined position against Michael. The teen had no idea how he had gotten himself into such a position but there he was.

“Fuck…alright, can you hear me?” he asked, hoping the computer was more conscious than they appeared. To his relief Reese gave a small nod of their head, no longer making any attempts to speak. “Okay…Kert’s coming over, alright? They’re going to fix you up…somehow. Until they do…I mean, I have Mountain Dew here. I don’t know what it’ll do but we got to try something.” Hoping the SQUIP understood what he was saying he roughly grabbed the drink from where he hid it in his hoodie pocket. Putting his hand on the cap he paused. Staring at the neon liquid he felt he was holding so much power…the power to turn on the most scary, possessing computer possibly in the world. He knows that the drink can’t do anything more to Reese than what they were already able to do, but he was still scared it would somehow do something worse. Something that could ruin his life again. But he had no choice. Taking a deep breath he took off the cap.

He hesitated again as he tried to figure out how to give it to the computer. Slowly he lifted the bottle to the other’s lips, hoping they would understand what was happening. Luckily they did because they opened their mouth a fraction to accept some of the neon substance. Careful to only let them drink a small amount to avoid chocking, Michael pulled the bottle away and watched. It was silent as he waited for something to happen. But nothing did.

“Are you serious?” he whispered, his heart sinking. What did he expect? For the drink to solve all their problems? It was just a drink. He felt so stupid for even trying it. To add to his anxiety Reese closed their eyes again, though hopefully because they wanted to not because they fell into the abyss again.

“Reese,” he called, shaking their shoulder. They shouldn’t be sleeping. Then again they didn’t have a bruise on their head indicating they hit it when fainting - he wondered if they felt it coming on and laid down to not hurt themselves - so there was no risk of a concussion. But still, maybe it’d be easier for them to slip away if they slept. Reese ignored him…or couldn’t hear him, and didn’t wake. Michael shook them again before sighing heavily. This was one of the biggest mistakes of his life. Another thing to add to the horrors he recalled every night. Another thing he did wrong that will haunt him every minute of every day. He wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about it. He’d have to suffer alone…again. Michael tried to take a deep breath but it came in shuttered as he rubbed at his wrists gently.

The teen nearly jumped out of his skin when the SQUIP jolted from their slumber, eyes flashing open revealing the bright, glowing eyes he hasn’t seen since he found the computer. “Shit, Reese,” he called alarmed as he propped the SQUIP up better. Reese blinked as they took in their surroundings, obviously not fully remembering where they were. Their breathing seemed to change from barely existing to heavy panting as their appearance began to…look better. They were more awake, for sure, but the haziness in their eyes was completely gone and their skin even seemed to be regaining a little colour.

After assessing their surroundings Reese looked up at Michael as the glow in their eyes dimmed to their normal shade. “…Michael,” they greeted quietly. Michael blinked, confused. He had no idea what was happening. Then it hit him.

“...It worked, didn’t it?” he questioned in disbelief. Reese’s eyes shifted from the teen to the bottle of Mountain Dew. They were both silent as they stared at it. Reese was the first to speak.

“It seems so.” Michael couldn’t help opening and closing his mouth as he tried to figure out just what words he wanted to exclaim. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way Mountain Dew had actually revived the SQUIP. There was no way. It was too ridiculous to have worked, and yet in the back of his mind he remembered that Jeremy’s SQUIP - Reese - didn’t activate when Jeremy first drank the soda. Apparently it liked dramatic timing.

“What the actual hell,” he finally exclaimed angrily, glaring at the neon drink. To his surprise Reese chuckled in agreement.

“A demon drink, indeed,” they mused. Michael had to admit he cracked a grin at that one. The SQUIP reach a hand out to loosely grab the bottle, guiding it back for another sip. Michael helped and waited for the computer to take as much as they needed before pulling the bottle away.

“...Thank you.” He blinked, surprised to hear gratitude coming from the other’s mouth. It wasn’t as though the SQUIP never showed they were capable of feelings, they even thanked him when he brought them home, but it was still foreign. In Michael’s opinion they caused each other too many problems to be thanking one another.

“...Don’t thank me. That was fucked up,” Michael pointed out, motioning his head towards the Mountain Dew. Reese let out another chuckle, nodding their head in agreement as they relaxed into their spot against the teen.

“Concerning…to say the least,” they admitted quietly. Michael glanced at them awkwardly, fidgeting at the uncomfortable proximity to the SQUIP he was in. It was one thing when they were dying, it’s another knowing that the computer was __intentionally__  relaxing into his hold.

“Are you, uh…okay? Was that really it?” he asked awkwardly. The SQUIP was quiet for a moment.

“...I can’t be certain…but the fact that I’ve recovered this much of my senses at this rate…I believe so,” they replied slowly.

“How can that even be possible? I thought Mountain Dew only activated SQUIPs. Did Jeremy drink Mountain Dew all the time? If he did why the hell didn’t you tell me you needed it? You almost fucking died!” Michael exclaimed distressed.

“I wasn’t aware of the…situation. You’re right, Mountain Dew is only used to activate SQUIPs. This is as surprising to me as it is you,” Reese answered quietly.

“Doubt that,” Michael sighed. An awkward silence passed but the teen tried to not let his discomfort of the situation get in the way. Instead his anxiety rose as his adrenaline wound down. He tried to keep his focus on Reese. It was about them, not him. They were the one’s at risk of death, not him, and he knows they’re probably hiding more than what they’re showing, as usual.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he admitted, trying to be nice. Reese moved their head to lock eyes with his.

“Believe me, it was not my intention,” they answered honestly. Michael had to admit that the comment lightened some of anxiety. He knew that none of the last twenty-four hours - or however long the Mountain Dew thing was going on for - was an attempt to ruin his life, but it was still nice to hear. His attention was brought back to the SQUIP when he felt the other give a violent shutter.

“Shit, you’re still cold, aren’t you?” he muttered as he started shifting out from under the SQUIP. “You should lie down,” he suggested, hinting at bringing the computer to their chair. Reese grinned as they roughly stood, leaning against Michael heavily.

“Hmm, I do believe I’ve spent enough time lying on the floor, but if you insist,” they teased lightly. Michael rolled his eyes, letting out a sarcastic laugh.

“Keep it up, Windows 10, and I’ll leave you on the floor.” He had to admit that the SQUIP did make him grin again.

Michael helped Reese over to the bean bag chair, letting them flop onto it. He draped the blanket over them again like he’d done the night before and when he was sure they were okay he sat in his place beside them.

“I should text Rich to let them know you’re okay,” Michael informed as he got his phone out of his pocket and started texting.

“‘Okay’ may be misleading. ‘ _ _Recovering’__  is more accurate. Still, if you’re not planning otherwise, it would be best if they still came. They should know the situation,” Reese explained quietly. Michael nodded and after he was done texting he looked at the computer.

“...You said you were just as surprised at this as me. What even __is__  this? Why do you need Mountain Dew if you didn’t when you were a SQUIP?” he questioned. Reese was silent for a moment as they thought it over.

“...I have theories,” they admitted.

“And they are…?”

“...I believe it would be best to wait for Kert and Rich to arrive before sharing them.” Michael scoffed annoyed.

“You can’t be serious. After I saved your ass your not going to tell me what the hell is going on?” he snapped.

“Don’t misunderstand,” Reese assured, “But this is a decision that’s beyond me. If Kert is willing to share our information than we will.”

“So, __Kert__  makes the decisions.”

“No, we make them unanimously.”

“On everything?”

“On anything to do with our current SQUIP affairs.”

“...It sounds like you’re hiding more than you let off,” Michael pointed out, though he sounded more reasonable than he intended.

“...We’re hiding everything,” the SQUIP admitted, “Something I’m sure you’ll get very angry over. But even though you won’t believe me when I say this, it is for your best interest. Both for you and Rich. We have imposed on your lives to survive and forced you into a situation that would put you at risk. To tell you everything would be to involve you long term in our affairs. We agreed to stay the minimum amount of time necessary in order to give you back your lives. Despite what you may believe, we fully intend on keeping our word.” Michael stared at them for a long moment.

“...These SQUIP people sound really scary. Isn’t that more reason for you to tell us everything? To warn us? So that we know what they’re doing and don’t get messed up in it?” he asked uncertainly. Reese smiled.

“Don’t eat suspicious pills from the Payless,” they teased. Michael rolled his eyes with a frustrated sigh.

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. That is the only threat you should be concerned with. Anything else…doesn’t concern you.”

“...What about Jeremy? Or Rich?”

“The only concern they face is being fed Mountain Dew Red. Other than that when I say ‘doesn’t concern you’ I mean __all__  of you, not just you, Michael. I am not excluding you in this affair.” Michael was surprised to hear that.

“Why not?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No, I’m just…”

“I don’t hate you, Michael,” Reese admitted, “You got in the way, yes, and that made things complicated, but I didn’t hate you. You amused me to no end at the play and before that…well, I don’t remember what I felt. SQUIP ‘emotions’ are different than human ones. I don’t even know if emotions is the right word for it, but they’re similar.”

“But I tried to kill you,” Michael pointed out, “Aren’t you mad about that?”

“No. It makes logical sense from your perspective. Besides, if we want to get technical, in the end it was Christine who deactivated me. She had no control over what she was doing so I can hardly blame her,” Reese replied with a shrug.

“…What about Jeremy?” the teen pushed carefully.

“...Though he wanted to deactivate me, he didn’t know by getting Christine to drink the Mountain Dew Red that he was getting rid of me in the process. In his mind he was sacrificing his chance of losing of his SQUIP to save her. Quite heroic, really. I’m proud of that. In the end I was too slow to stop him from making the mistake…then again, the knowledge would have only encourage him to keep going, if I’m being honest,” the SQUIP continued. Michael didn’t know how they could be talking about dying so lightly. There was an undertone of sad reminiscing to their voice but it wasn’t nearly what they should be emoting. They died, or almost. __Twice__.

“Isn’t it scary? Dying?” he questioned. The SQUIP shrugged.

“Annoying, to say the least,” they answered.

“ _ _Annoying__? Dude, you __died__. And you almost died a few minutes ago too and you’re acting like it never happened! No, worse, you’re acting like it was a mild inconvenience! You almost stopped __existing__. Why aren’t you reacting more? Are you that much of a heartless robot?” Michael exclaimed. Reese looked over at the annoyed teen.

“How do you want me to react?”

“ _ _Sad__ , mad, maybe even traumatized?! I know it sucks and no one wants to deal with it but…come on! Even a tear would be something!”

“You want me to be traumatized and cry?” the computer questioned amused.

“No, I just…it’d make sense! Don’t you __want__  to feel sad? You almost died!” Michael asked seriously. The SQUIP shrugged.

“Feelings are…overwhelming and I am not equipped to deal with them. Besides, if it eases your mind, nearly dying is __not__  a ‘mild inconvenience’. I’ve already deactivated once over something as ridiculous as a sip from a 90s soda by a __love interest__. I don’t want to repeat it again with a __modern__  drink and my own stupidity,” they answered with a slight huff. Michael slowly nodded his head, cracking a grin.

“Oh, so you __are__ mad,” he teased.

“I’m not-”

“You’re mad that you almost died stupidly.” The SQUIP sighed, rolling their eyes.

“‘Mad’ doesn’t describe how I feel,” they replied.

“Frustrated?”

“Michael.”

“Oh, come on. The Terminator can __feel__.”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m smiling.”

“Glad I can amuse you with my frustration.”

“So you __are__  frustrated.”

“Michael.”

“Windows 10 updated to frustrated!”

“What are you trying to achieve, Michael?” Reese snapped with a sigh, “If it ends this debate with you than yes, I feel frustrated. I am frustrated that something as ridiculous as not drinking Mountain Dew nearly killed me. I’m frustrated that I didn’t realize the problem earlier and fix it myself. I’m annoyed that everything I planned, all my goals, would have been gone over something so stupid. And more importantly I’m frustrated that my very existence depends on a __soda__.” Michael bit his lip. He probably pushed the SQUIP too far but to find out this much was welcoming, despite the somber tone.

“...Do your goals have anything to do with Jeremy?” he asked quietly, hoping to get an honest answer. Reese locked eyes with him as they stared each other down. Their lips were pressed tightly together and the teen was sure he wasn’t getting an answer. He noticed, though, that their gaze was pensive, __indecisive__. Were they considering sharing with him?

“Yes,” they finally answered. Michael’s heart froze.

“...Why? What do you want with him?” he asked shakily. He could feel fear quickly rising up, but he tried to repress it. But if he snapped at the computer now they’ll stop talking. He needed to be careful.

“I want to see him,” Reese answered flatly.

“I doubt that’s all you want.”

“You’re right. I want to know that he’s okay. That he will be able to stay steady on his own.” The teen didn’t expect to hear that.

“There’s no way your intentions could be that pure,” Michael challenged.

“For now, they have to be,” Reese answered, sinking in their seat as they looked up at the ceiling, “My only duty is to improve his life. If everything went as planned and his goals were completed - as you __confirmed__  happened - then I can focus on what needs to be done. But I need to know for sure he’s happy, that he doesn’t need me. For now, at least. When everything’s over, I can help him again. But if he needs me now, I need to make sure he’s happy before I leave, because once Kert and I go…we’ll be unavailable, until it’s safe again.”

“...He doesn’t need your help,” Michael said quietly, not hiding the disdain in his voice, “He’s happy. Happier than he’s ever been…he doesn’t need you.” The SQUIP was silent, a lot longer than was comfortable. He probably could have said it nicer, but he needed to get his point across. The computer was not getting a chance to ever be near Jeremy again.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Reese finally answered, “When the time comes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did not expect any of these conversations to be happening yet but ah well. If it happens it happens. Finally got through the Mountain Dew Dilema, as I know it. And we're coming up on chapter 10, which is exciting for me. Not because I know what'll be in it, but because that was my minimum requirement of chapters to hit before I go on to other plot points. Take that as you will and get excited ;)


	8. Contingency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...What does that mean?”
> 
> “In short we have to drink Mountain Dew or die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days late...shame on me. I'm sorry for the delay and that it's not a very long chapter. I don't really have too much of an excuse other than I really wanted to go to the Zoo on Monday. So...yeah, sorry.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

 

“Hey! So, they’re alive now? Where? I need to kick their ass,” Rich greeted as he stormed past Michael and into the house. The taller teen let out a sigh. Stepping to the side he motioned with his head for the SQUIP standing in the doorway to follow after their human. Kert - disguised once more - nodded their head in thanks as they entered.

“They’re downstairs,” Michael instructed as he closed the door.

“Where’s that? I’ve never been here before,” Rich asked, walking in a big circle back to the other teen. “Your house is awesome, by the way.”

“Thanks,” he replied as he motioned after Kert. The SQUIP seemed to already know where to go because they found the basement stairs without hesitation and descended them.

“Hey, wait up!” Rich called as he chased after his computer, Michael close behind. Kert didn’t wait for the two as they quickly arrived at the bottom of the stairs and across the room to the other SQUIP, eyes burning bright as they approached. Reese’s eyes glowed in response as they motioned for the other to calm down and take a seat.

“Hey, are you eye glowing? That’s against the rules,” Rich warned as he finally caught up, pointing at his SQUIP who now sat in Michael’s usual spot. Michael didn’t say anything to do with both offenses. He was too drained to care and considering the situation he didn’t feel the computer was out of line. Kert must have agreed because their eyes continued to glow and they completely ignored what the teen had said, keeping their focus solely on Reese. Reese returned the attention, obviously giving vital information because Kert suddenly paled, a look of shock overcoming their features. Hesitantly their eyes shifted to Rich, and then to Michael.

“What’s going on? What’s happening? Are they okay? Why am I the only one talking?” Rich huffed annoyed, flailing his arms. “Am I going to get answers or not?”

“...They’re alright, Richard,” Kert finally spoke, letting out a held breath. Speaking to Michael they continued, “Reese has informed me that you wish to know the situation in regards to what happened today.” The teen glanced between the two SQUIPs uncertainly before nodding.

“They said they had theories,” he confirmed. Kert pressed their lips together tightly, clearly not comfortable with sharing the information. Michael opened his mouth to argue his case but a sigh from Reese cut him off.

“I know you want to tell Rich,” they pointed out, “But we agreed to share information to them __both__.”

“That was agreed with the notion that you were returning to Jeremy. You throw too much caution to the wind,” Kert rebutted, warning in their voice.

“If you insist on refusing to adapt then think of it as informing my supplier of what I need,” Reese rephrased, a small smirk pulling at their lips. Kert narrowed their eyes disapprovingly but didn’t speak. It was clear they didn’t want Michael included in anything they had to offer but the teen was far from letting Rich know more than himself. He was equally a part of this situation and after the panic attack he had today he deserved some answers. He was glad that Reese at least agreed with this and was defending him because he’d be beyond pissed if they weren’t.

“Seriously, what the fuck is going on?” Rich asked hopelessly, looking at Michael for some answers. “What are they talking about?” Michael gave a sympathetic smile to the shorter teen, realizing how out of context everything must be to them.

“I have no clue why the Mountain Dew worked,” he answered, “But apparently __these__ two might know the answer and are debating whether or not they’re going to tell us.” He had to admit he purposefully targeting the SQUIPs in his words. Why?

“Are you fucking serious?!” That’s why. “You’re not going to fucking tell us what the fuck’s going on? After we saved your asses? Michael just raced home to save you and you’re not going to say shit?” Rich yelled, his lisp coming in strong as he pointed at the two computers angrily. Michael had to hold back a laugh, biting his lip to stop from smiling. He could always depend on Rich to start a scene. Reese caught him smiling though and raised their brow unimpressed.

“I have little issue in sharing,” they stated, turning their attention to Rich as they spoke.

“Then what’s the problem?” the shorter teen questioned, his gaze turning to his own SQUIP. Kert sighed frustrated, feeling the heat of their human’s eyes.

“Fine, tell. But within our limitations,” they resigned, shooting a warning glance at the other SQUIP. Reese nodded in agreement before turning their full attention to the two teens. Finally getting the confirmation they needed that they were going to finally talk, Michael motioned for Rich to sit on the floor with him. The other teen did so without question as they looked to the computers expectantly.

“We can’t say anything for sure. Without proof from the company who created us anything we come up with is purely hypothetical,” Reese began, “That being said, I’m sure it’s no surprise to anyone that there is a high possibility that our bodies have digested SQUIP pills at one point in time. More specifically an equivalent pill to the ones both Jeremy and Rich had taken.”

“What?” Rich exclaimed confused, “What does that mean? You have SQUIPs?”

“No, we’re don’t have our own SQUIPs. But to have the same connection to your minds as we did while we were in your brains, even while deactivated, means that we are still…SQUIPs ourselves, not just human. We are still connected to both you and our computer database in these minds so a SQUIP pill must have been ingested at some point before we awoke,” Reese explained.

“So…you needed Mountain Dew to activate?” the shorter teen asked curiously.

“No, we are already ‘activated’,” Kert answered, “Though no amount of Mountain Dew has brought us back to our original states. We are still ‘offline’ just as we were in your mind. Now, seeing that we still share the same mind connection I imagine our pills are…secondary to yours. A Beta pill, if you will.”

“Why would they make that?” Michael questioned.

“We don’t know,” Reese replied, tapping their finger against their cheek absentmindedly as they rested their head against their hand. “There are theories around that too but without knowing if the possibility of a ‘Beta pill’ is correct we can’t narrow down the answer.”

“What’s this have to do with Neo dying?” Rich asked while motioning his head towards the blue eyed SQUIP.

“If it __is__  a different type of pill, possibly a less superior one, then perhaps a contingency was made for it,” Kert answered slowly.

“...What does that mean?”

“In short we have to drink Mountain Dew or die,” Reese replied flatly. The two teens stared at them blankly.

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Michael retorted.

“I agree. But it explains why Kert hasn’t been affected like I have and how I’m even recovering right now,” the SQUIP pointed out.

“Why would they make something like that?”

“Possibly to kill us quietly if we escaped,” Kert answered, “Mountain Dew may have made sense to them since it was already used in activating SQUIPs. Though if that’s true then the question becomes why didn’t they use something more useful? Something harder to get our hands on.”

“I imagine they’d rather retrieve us than kill us,” Reese retorted.

“Then having a contingency at all is pointless. A tracking device would be more effective.”

“If they have SQUIPs themselves they wouldn’t need to. They could sync with us and track us from there.”

“Not in this state they can’t. We’re offline.”

“I imagine they didn’t think that through. Perhaps whoever came up with this wasn’t using a SQUIP? To prevent a hive mind scenario.”

“Maybe your behaviour encouraged that.”

“Doubtful. But maybe a faulty SQUIP came up with the idea? That’s common.”

“Or there’s a more clever answer we’re ignoring.”

“That it’s not a contingency?”

“I think we can safely say that’s probably correct. Don’t let your human mind cloud that.”

“ _ _Human__  mind?”

“You have a human brain that’s capable of contradicting information based on emotions such as doubt.”

“You’re speaking as if you don’t have one.”

“My computer database is older and stronger than yours, I imagine you’ll fall prey to the human mind before I do.”

“Considering how long you’ve been with Rich I imagine your human emotions have already conquered you more than once.”

“It must be easy to boast on how distant you are to emotions when you’re living in the household of a SQUIP killer instead of your human.”

“I don’t distance myself because I’m with Michael and not Jeremy.”

“If Jeremy was here you would have been an emotional mess by Tuesday and that would have been the end of it.”

“That’s not true. My emotions would only hinder Jeremy’s concentration.”

“You baby him.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh really? Then why did you attempt a hive mind?”

“He never listened to me.”

“You did it so he would see how much he could rely on you.”

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you? How’s speech therapy going?”

“That’s different!”

“You whisked it away so he wouldn’t be embarrassed at school, admit it.”

“I didn’t have to resort to possessing an entire school to get Richard to his goals. Two years on my record. How long did __you__  last?”

“I almost succeeded in guaranteeing the goals for hundreds of teens.”

“But you didn’t.”

“On the fluke of a 90s soft drink.”

“How are those still even circulating?” Kert sighed bewildered, leaning back into their seat. Reese shrugged in response. As the conversation ended Michael and Rich just stared.

“What the fuck just happened,” the former questioned dumbfounded.

“Seriously, is there __no__  doctor/patient confidentiality with SQUIPs!” Rich exclaimed, “I’m sitting right here!”

“So we can see,” Kert replied, “I apologize, Richard. Usually such information would be inconsequential to share among synced SQUIPs and even their humans, depending on the situation. But I shouldn’t have been talking about you or Jeremy in front of someone not apart of our connection.” Michael felt Rich’s eyes shift to him and he glanced to the ground. Once again, the reminder…

“I believe Michael’s the exception in this case, since he’s standing in for Jeremy,” Reese pointed out, “He’s earned his place.”

“As a __SQUIP killer__ ,” Kert emphasized.

“More like a ‘ _ _provider__ ’.”

“You make me sound like a drug dealer,” Michael retorted.

“I’m sure you’re your friend’s Mountain Dew Red supplier.”

“For free,” Rich confirmed with a smug grin. Reese gave Michael a flat look in response.

“For free? You must  _ _really__  not like us.”

“What was your first clue?” Michael answered.

“Let’s get back on topic,” Kert suggested, bringing everyone’s attention in.

“You started it,” Rich mumbled.

“I already apologized. Off topic conversations like that are often quickly over in SQUIP minds,” the computer explained.

“Its nice to know that all SQUIPS  _ _really__ do are bicker about how bad they are at their jobs,” Michael said with a grin. It only widened when he got a glare from both SQUIPs.

“To return to the topic at hand, I hope __Michael__ , that this won’t happen again,” Kert said sternly, “Because if it does we will all know that you neglected Reese what they need to survive. It would be __intentional__.” It was Michael’s turn to glare.

“That’s too slow a death anyways,” Rich boasted, slinging an arm around Michael’s shoulders in support. Neither of the SQUIPs appreciated the comment as they stared coldly at the teens.

“We won’t let you make the same mistake twice.”

~oOo~

Michael sighed at his locker. He could already see Rich in his peripheral approaching and he did not need that today. Jeremy would never be able to convince anyone they weren’t dating at this rate and any more stress to his life was greatly unwelcomed. But despite this Rich was coming and he couldn’t stop that. Sighing again he eyed the writing on his bag that his former bully wrote. He guessed if Jeremy believed him that was all that really mattered. His best friend’s opinion was more important than any of the gossipers.

“Hey, Specs,” Rich greeted as he leaned against the adjoining locker. Too close for personal comfort.

“Rich,” he named with a sigh.

“How’s it goin'? You know, since…”

“Since Windows 10 crashed? Fine,” Michael responded as he closed his locker, slinging his bag over his shoulder lazily.

“That was crazy,” Rich stated, obviously not letting the topic go as he got closer to the other teen. Michael took a step back.

“I know.”

“Do you believe what they said about…you know, the drink? The cont…ency thing? Contigence? Conten…Whatever, that thing?”

“Apparently floppy discs don’t lie,” Michael quoted unhappily. Rich snorted.

“Bullshit.”

“Either way, they’re fine now. I bought them a full case.”

“Michael,” Rich grabbed his arm gently, but firmly, and pulled him closer to his discomfort. Speaking quietly he continued, “Shouldn’t Jeremy know?” Michael blinked, taken aback.

“I thought we talked about this,” he muttered, pulling his arm away and gripping his bag straps tightly.

“I know but…Reese almost… _ _died__ , you know?” Rich whispered, “I get their a dick but…I don’t know. They’re still his...computer.” Michael was quiet for a moment as he thought it over.

“Reese is barely even acknowledging that they cared it happened.”

“Denial.”

“No kidding. And Jeremy…” he sighed, “You know how he'll react.”

“Yeah, but-”

“I’m not going to let Jeremy suffer again, __especially__  when he just started being __normal__ again. Reese will just fuck him up, intentional or not. And he'll shut me out again so the stupid computer can’t hurt me. And we'll be back to square one.” Rich was silent as Michael looked at the ground. He wished there was a way to let Jeremy know in a way where the other teen won’t sacrifice himself for them. But that wasn’t Jeremy. He was doing everything he could to mend his relationship with Michael. If he knew the SQUIP was anywhere near him…

“…Is everything okay?” a new voice asked. Michael nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw his best friend standing in front of him. Jeremy looked concerned as he looked between Michael and Rich.

“Just talkin' about guys, no worries,” Rich dismissed with a wave of his hand. Michael didn’t know how the teen could smile so genuinely every time he lied. He wondered if he’d even know if Rich ever lied to him. Jeremy didn’t look too convinced but the smile but have won him over because he nodded anyways.

“O-Okay.”

“Nice seeing you Tall-Ass.”

“Wait!” Rich and Michael looked at Jeremy surprised when he stopped the shortest teen from leaving. Jeremy fidgeted nervously before quickly correcting himself and appearing less self-conscious.

“I – Uh…I-wanted to ask you something,” he said quietly, taking quick glances at Michael. Michael frowned as Rich slowly agreed and the two moved a good distance away to avoid eaves-dropping. He was hoping Jeremy was just asking Rich about the rumour going around but he wouldn’t really have to move so far from Michael if he was. The teen’s mind immediately went to the SQUIP. He wondered if they were talking about it. Rich and Jeremy had done this before many times after the play to not bother the others but it had ceased once Jeremy felt comfortable enough sharing everything that happened with Michael. Had that changed?

Deciding not to wait since the warning bell would soon ring he started walking to class. Fishing out his phone he stared at it.

……

What if…No, he can’t be scared to make phone calls. Especially if this was his way of monitoring the computer.

Taking a deep breath he called home.

****RING-** **

“Michael.” Michael could help letting out a small smile as he released his held breath.

“Tic Tac.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Things are back to normal...or are they?


	9. Words Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael said he would tell Jeremy if he was dating someone and his mothers aren’t clingy enough to call often. In fact it looked like Michael himself was instigating the calls. The teen said nothing was wrong, so…who was he calling? And why does Rich always go over as if he knows what’s going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is becoming a bad habit of mine. So, I'm gonna change things up a bit. From now on updates are on Tuesdays. I'll still try to update on Mondays if I can but its just not working out great so expect chapters on Tuesday from now on. Anywho, this chapter has a lot in it so...have fun.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“They’re totally dating,” the girl insisted as she pointed to the two boys standing by the doors. The rest of her companions followed her gaze across the cafeteria.

“You thought Michael and Jeremy were dating,” the male sitting in front of her pointed out while nudging said teen beside him. Jeremy flushed in embarrassment at the contact.

“Oh, come on. With the whole ‘Boyf Riends’ bag thing? They had to be dating,” she argued.

“I thought Rich wrote that,” the shortest girl stated slowly, almost like a question. Jeremy, sitting across from her, quickly nodded his head in confirmation.

“Maybe it was all a ruse to hide their __real__ relationship! To make us think it was Jeremy and Michael when actually it’s Rich and Michael!” the girl exclaimed excited before nudging the teen beside her, “Jenna, look into it.” Jenna rolled her eyes as she continued to scroll through her phone.

“If they’re dating I’ll know,” she replied flatly.

“C-Chloe,” Jeremy stuttered, gaining the popular girl’s attention, “T-They’re really not dating.”

“Oh, come on. They left the party together and now they’re spending all this time talking in secret,” Chloe retorted, leaning forward. Jeremy gave a small shrug.

“They like…spending time together,” he explained weakly.

“Face it, Jeremy, you lost your boyfriend.”

“H-He’s my best friend,” Jeremy corrected quietly. The girl across from him patted his hand with a sweet smile. He smiled back and took her hand.

“Rich would tell me if he were dating,” the other male of the group denied.

“He doesn’t tell you everything, __Jake__. He didn’t tell you about the…you know what,” Chloe pointed out. This gained everyone’s full uncomfortable attention as Jake rolled his eyes.

“That’s different,” he argued.

“How? The only reason you’re friends is because of that thing. Who knows what else he’s hiding from you,” Chloe argued.

“Nope, Rich tells me everything,” Jake boasted confidently, his friendship unwavering. Jeremy smiled at this before glancing towards the doors where his best friend stood on the phone, Rich only recently walking over to join. Michael has been spending a lot of time on the phone now. At first Jeremy thought something happened to his mother’s but he was assured they were okay. He couldn’t understand who else his friend could be talking to. Michael didn’t like talking on the phone, the only exception being his mothers. He preferred texting. He also liked to keep to himself at lunch and quietly listen to music rather than socialize. But now every time Jeremy saw him he was on the phone. Michael said he would tell Jeremy if he was dating someone and his mothers aren’t clingy enough to call often. In fact it looked like Michael himself was instigating the calls. The teen said nothing was wrong, so…who was he calling? And why does Rich always go over as if he knows what’s going on?

“There’s __something__  going on. No one’s that sneaky unless their dating,” Chloe protested.

“They haven’t told you?” Brooke questioned, speaking up for the first time over her juice box. Jeremy blinked when he realized it was directed towards him.

“T-They’re not dating,” he answered as firmly as he could. Chloe raised her hands in frustrated relent as she huffed. She then changed the topic to better gossip. Jeremy sighed but was glad the focus wasn’t on him anymore. He didn’t think he'd ever be good at being the center of attention without his…There was many things he couldn’t do.

Sighing again he looked at the distant Michael. The other teen was off the phone now and was talking animatedly to Rich as though annoyed. Rich just laughed in response and waved his hand dismissively. If he asked Rich…would he tell him?

~oOo~

“Richard,” the SQUIP greeted as they watched their human enter the room. Rich waved tiredly in response as he closed the door behind him, letting his bag drop lazily to the ground. The computer’s brows furrowed as their eyes followed the teen as he flopped onto his bed with a sigh. “You’re distressed.”

“Jeremy's snooping,” Rich mumbled as he wiped a hand over his face.

“Is he? In what way?” The teen sighed as he thought over the conversation he had with Jeremy when the brunet had pulled him aside.

_“ Wait! I – Uh…I   wanted to ask you something . ”_

_“Uh…sure. What’s up buddy?”_

_“ …I - Uh…I was wondering … d o you… still hear voices?”_

_“…You mean…?”_

_“…Yeah.”_

_“ Uh, y eah, all the time. Why?”_

_“…Just asking.”_

_“ Wha - Are you hearing yours?! What are they saying?!”_

_“N-No!  It’s not like …I, Uh… No… I don’t hear him anymore…”_

Rich sighed. Not only did they have that conversation but now Jeremy was also questioning who Michael is talking too and if they’re hiding something. Everything was just getting worse. “He’s asking who Michael’s talking to.”

“Did you tell him the truth?” Kert questioned as they sat beside the teen.

“Of course not! Michael would kill me if I did!”

“Then what did you tell him?”

“I said I didn’t know…he doesn’t believe me but what’s he gonna do? Fight me? He’s a nervous wreck without Reese,” Rich answered with a wave of his hand.

“Another reason to tell him the truth,” the SQUIP pointed out.

“Nuh uh, no way,” the teen retorted while sitting back up, “He’s probably happy he can’t hear them anymore. I wish I could do that.” Kert’s eyes flared up at the comment.

“…He noticed they’re silence?” they asked quietly.

“Course he did. There’s no annoying voice in his head trying to tell him what to do,” Rich huffed. Kert stared at him for a long moment.

“…Richard, it would benefit your mental health if you didn’t __lie__  when you’re at home. This is your safe space and you know you can’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying! You’re an annoying Muppet and you know it.”

“But not unwanted.” Rich glared at the computer but hesitated.

“I don’t want you. You’re here because I’m the good guy and you helped out for two years. That’s it,” he growled.

“I’m your friend, Richard. Your _constant _.__ ”

“No, I __have__ friends.”

“You can have more than one type of friend.”

“We can’t be friends because friends don’t try to kill each other!” Rich snapped.

“I never tried to kill you.”

“But I tried to kill you! And me! Or did you forget?!”

“I will **_**_never_**_**  forget,” Kert growled darkly, eyes flaring green. The two stared each other down. Rich’s eyes burned as he tried to hold back his tears, opening and closed his mouth to yell something harsh but he couldn’t. His gaze slowly wavered as he finally broke eye contact to look away. The silence continued as he rubbed his scarred arms.

“…And friends don’t fight every second they’re together,” he whispered bitterly. Kert slowly pulled his gaze from the teens scars to look at him.

“Its not uncommon,” they replied quietly, “But, if you insist we aren’t friends then tell me, what am I?”

“A pain.”

“I’ll remember that the next time you ‘don’t want to be alone’,” Kert commented bitterly. Rich began to fidget in his seat.

“I hate you,” he grumbled.

“Liar.”

~oOo~

“So, ‘ _Riends_ ’,” Reese began as they leaned against the kitchen counter. Michael growled, shooting a glare as the SQUIP continued, “When were you going to tell me that your __‘Boyf'__  has been asking about me?”

“What?” the teen questioned with a raised brow, “Who told you that?”

“Kert,” Reese answered simply, “Any information on Jeremy is an exception to your ‘no sync’ rule.”

“No its not!” the teen snapped, “I never told you that!”

“Jeremy’s my human and I put his care and safety first. Now, I imagine you weren’t going to share this with me and I wonder __why__?”

“Other than I had no fricken idea? You got to be joking.”

“I understand why you don’t want Jeremy to find out about __me__  but what damage does it do to tell me how __Jeremy__  is doing?” Reese questioned.

“You can use it against him,” Michael answered simply.

“He’s asking about me,” the SQUIP pointed out seriously, “He’s _missing_  my voice. He missing  _ _me__.”

“That's a stretch,” the teen snorted.

“You don’t have to believe me. I have no doubt now that Jeremy will prove you wrong. And when he does I’ll be all too willing to return to him,” Reese said with a wide grin. Michael shot them another glare, his hand gripping the wooden spoon he was stirring with tightly.

“If your so sure Jeremy will want you back then why did you doubt him to begin with? Don’t think I didn’t notice your phrasing. I can rip apart your sentences too,” he retorted.

“Hard not to doubt him when he tried to deactivate me,” Reese admitted.

“A clear sign.” The teen turned his attention back to stirring. He wait for the computer to repute him but they didn’t. This only made the silence turn awkward as they both thought over Jeremy. Tapping the spoon to fill the space with sound he sigh.

“Why the hell didn’t Rich tell me?” he grumbled to himself.

“Most likely to not distress you,” Reese answered with a small shrug.

“Well, now I’m distressed _and_  mad,” Michael huffed. The SQUIP hummed with a small smile.

“It’s fortunate then that I like to talk about Jeremy,” they replied, “Or you might have never known.” Michael rolled his eyes but didn’t answer. He shouldn’t have to rely on the SQUIP for anything. That was something he needed to change.

~oOo~

“What the hell, Rich!”

“I didn’t think you’d want to know!”

“Why the hell wouldn’t I want to know?!”

“You don’t want him involved! I didn’t want to guilt you more into telling him!”

“So, instead I have to hear it from Reese?! Seriously?! Do you know how much __worse__  that is?!”

“That fucking frog told? What the hell!”

“Stop being surprised that they’re the biggest gossipers in the world! It’s how their fucking job works when they're not manipulating you to death!”

“Well, I’m sorry! Okay? I didn’t know what to do!”

“So, you told your fucking floppy disk over _me_!”

“I can’t hide things from them! We’re still connected!”

“Then __fix__  that!”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?”

“It’ll hurt them!”

“You’ve never been concerned about that before!”

“Well, now I am!”

“I’m fucking tired of this! I’m always put fucking last in priority!”

“You just don’t get it!”

“That because I wasn’t possessed I have to be thrown aside?! You know you’d think that’d be a good thing but nope!”

“I’m not saying that! You just don’t know what they’re like! What they do!”

“I don’t know what they fucking do?! I was INVISIBLE! I couldn’t be PHYSIALLY seen!”

“You were never shocked and told how garbage you were and put to the point of wanting to end it!”

“No, I didn’t need a computer to do that! I only needed possessed people like you! And Jeremy! Maybe you’re not so different from SQUIPs after all!”

And that was it. Jeremy couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the two fighting let alone what over. Michael had never brought up the SQUIP before, especially not to Rich. But the can was opened and now all he could do was stare in shock from a distance with his other friends, not knowing if they should interfere. Now he wished he did.

Rich snapped, slamming Michael into the lockers as he began to yell insults just as hurtful back. As soon as he saw his friend in danger Jeremy’s alarm bells went off and he raced to Michael's side, Jake close behind.

“Rich, let go!” Jake yelled over the shorter teen’s voice as he grabbed his friend from under the arms and tried to pull him away. Jeremy did similarly by trying to pull Michael towards himself and to safety from any physical harm.

“You know fucking nothing! Don't act like you’re one of us when you’ve never had your life fucked over and ripped apart by those things! I was dying in a hospital while you were fucking crying over Jeremy!” Rich continued to yell, fighting against Jake's hold. Jeremy’s heart tightened as he finally managed to pull his friend away from the shorter teen. Michael didn’t answer the accusation or look at Rich…or anyone else. Jake began pulling the blond to the other side of the hall to try to calm him down as Chloe went to his aid. Brooke and Jenna stayed to the side watching, the later already texting the info on her phone. When he was sure the threat was cleared Jeremy turned to his friend, Christine quickly joining him by his side.

“Michael,” he called gently, trying to make eye contact. Michael's eyes were glistening and he rubbed the spot on his arm where he was grabbed. Christine carefully placed a hand on the teens shoulder in comfort as Jeremy continued to try and gain his friend’s attention. “What happened?” Michael slowly shook his head, taking a step back. It took a moment for Jeremy to recognize the signs before his friend turned and ran out of his grasp before he could stop him.

~oOo~

Michael didn’t stop moving for a second until he got home. He didn’t dare think or let his emotions blow up until the door was safely locked behind him. Then he crashed.

Sinking to the floor he let the tears he was holding in go and openly cried. He could barely breath as he buried his face in his knees as his last attempt to hide his emotions. He cried and choked on air, trying to process what had happened. What he __said__.

He hurt Rich. He said they were the same as the SQUIP. The same as the evil hell spawn that forced the teen into the hospital. What kind of person was he to say that? To accuse his friend? To even consider himself a friend after what he just said? Rich was right. He shouldn’t act like he understands what the others have been through. He’s not like them. He cries over things that don’t even compare. They’re so much stronger than he could ever be. He was weak and pathetic for thinking his world ended with Jeremy. He was disgustingly weak. And Rich saw it. Everyone saw it. Everyone knows…

“…Michael?” a gentle voice calls. Reese. Michael curls up more, feeling worse now that a witness was in the room. But he wasn’t going to stop. No, if anything the computer brought on more tears. He didn’t want to see them, or hear them, right now. He wanted them gone. But they couldn't read his mind and remained where they stood nearby.

After a moment passed he felt their presence slowly coming closer. “Go away!” he cried as he curled up more. His voice was muffled by his arm but he knew the SQUIP had heard because they paused. Michael waited and hoped that Reese would just listen and leave, but they didn’t. Instead he heard a sound and peeking slightly he could see through his teary vision that the computer was taking off their sweater as they crouched, now at his height.

“What happened?” they asked gently, draping the material over their arm. He hated how smooth their voice was, how they actually __sounded__ like they cared. They didn’t care. They just want to fix him like a side project. SQUIPs don’t care. Computers don’t feel.

“Leave me alone,” he growled, trying hard to quiet his sobs enough to convince the SQUIP to leave, but they didn’t. A shuffling sound was heard before it stopped. Then again. Then again. Michael glanced and saw that Reese was considerably closer.

“Go away! Why can’t you fucking listen?!” he yelled, shifting more against the door. The computer thought it over for a moment.

“I’m sure you’re used to dealing with things on your own by now,” Reese answered quietly as they slowly shifted forward again, “But I doubt that’s what you want.”

“How would you fucking know?” Michael hissed, his tears burning his eyes.

“I don’t,” the SQUIP admitted with a small grin, “I’m only assuming.”

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” the teen sneered as he curled up more. The computer shrugged, moving to sit beside the shorter male.

“So I’m told.” Michael shifted away from the SQUIP, hating their proximity. Reese looked at them for a long moment before speaking, “I’m a fantastic listener.” The teen laughed bitterly.

“Is that why you disobey _everything_ I ever tell you?” he asked in mock curiosity.

“I listened to every word,” Reese answered.

“Oh, so __more__ proof that you’re doing it because you want to be an utter asshole! Thank you! For constantly reminding me of what a failure I am at keeping you in line! Because I don’t want to kill a human being!” The SQUIP was silent as they stared at the unhinged teen. Michael shook his head when no response came and turned so his back faced the computer. He was done with them…But they weren’t quite done with him.

“Michael,” Reese called gently, “I have no words that could convince you that I’m following your most strict rules. I also have no words to convince you differently of your opinion of me. All I can do is offer my secrecy and make this a safe space to speak.” Michael answered with silence as he rested his forehead against his knees. He let his tears fall freely again as he tried to focus on his breathing. The SQUIP was right that he shouldn’t feel trapped at home, but that didn’t change how he felt. The cruel reality was that the computer wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon…so, this was something he would have to get used to.

He made a startled sound when he suddenly felt something drape over his shoulders. Whipping his head around he saw that the computer had placed their sweater around him, casually flipping the hood over his head. The teen immediately opened his mouth to protest and yell but the SQUIP raised a hand to hush him. “Ah ah,” they interjected, “Bare with me.” Michael blinked, hesitating long enough to let Reese stand. “Since I can’t instantaneously know how to help you I suppose I’ll just have to keep trying until it works,” they explained calmly as they walked down the hall towards the basement, “I’ll be back in a moment.” The teen stared stunned at the empty space where the computer once stood. He didn’t know what to say, or do. He wasn’t even sure if he should be afraid or not. He could have moved, either to hide from the computer or to stand and defend himself, But he instead found himself immobile. No matter what he thought his body refused to move.

Reese was back much faster than he expected, a bottle of Mountain Dew in hand. Michael’s eyes shot open wide at the sight, only now allowing his body to start moving as he pressed up against the door. The computer quickly raised a hand in defense. “You aren’t drinking it,” they assured. Michael didn’t believe them, but he also wouldn’t be surprised if the SQUIP just got it for themselves. Reese slowly walked over to the teen, being cautious to avoid startling the other, and knelt in front of him.

“Now, on any other occasion I’d do something more comforting, but from what little I’ve gathered I think some stress relief and humour might just help,” they explained as they offered the bottle to the teen. Michael narrowed his eyes at it.

“I won’t drink it,” he growled quietly.

“I don’t want you to. I want you to shake it,” Reese answered flatly.

“What?” Michael questioned confused, “You are the worst SQUIP ever if you think that’d do anything.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not being a SQUIP, now isn’t it?” they retorted with a small grin. Without hesitation they shook the bottle before offering it back. “There. Open it.” Michael narrowed his eyes again. This seemed too stupid an idea for a SQUIP to suggest. There had to be a trick somewhere, like there’s something in the bottle. But he’d never know what they planned unless he played along.

Hesitantly he took the bottle from Reese. For good measures he shook it himself, not trusting the SQUIP for one second. Then, pointing it at the computer, he opened the cap. Both surprisingly - and unsurprisingly - the liquid shot out from around the cap and sprayed at the anticipating SQUIP. A shocked laugh escaped Michael as he stared dumbfounded at the now wet Reese, especially after hearing a small curse come from them.

“You actually got me a fucking bottle of pop to shake?” Michael questioned bewildered, another surprised laugh escaping. The computer wiped the drink from their eyes and gave a small grin.

“Hmm, a laugh? Perhaps I’m not such an unsuccessful SQUIP after all,” they praised as they went to take the bottle back. Michael held it away, fully taking the cap off.

“That was awful. What are you, a slapstick dummy? If you __really__  wanted to cheer me up using stupid humour you should have just done this.” Without hesitation the teen dumped the Mountain over the computers head. He let out a small laugh when a shocked expression came over Reese’s face, the SQUIP hunching their shoulders up as the cold drink soaked through them. A grin remained on Michael’s face as the computer slowly relaxed.

“Real mature,” they commented, though there was no bitterness in their voice.

“You started it,” the teen retorted.

“I did. But you know, thinking it over, an idea comes to mind. Do you know what a common thing to do after one person gets wet and their companion __isn__ _ _’__ _ _t__?” Reese hinted, a grin stretching across their lips. Michael’s brows furrowed as he thought it over. When the computer shifted closer his eyes immediately widened and he scooched away.

“Don’t you dare hug me,” he warned as the SQUIP shifted closer with a devious grin.

“Come now, Michael, were being friendly,” they cooed as they shifted closed. Michael shoved them away lightly and the SQUIP put their hand against their chest in dramatic, mock hurt. The teen rolled his eyes with a small smile. Seeing the computer relaxing against the door he finally felt safe enough to do the same. Pulling the sweater around his shoulders closer his mind slowly returned to what had upset him to begin with. The pressing silence weighed down on them both but a lot of the tension was gone. So was his care or caution.

“I don’t have a SQUIP,” he said quietly, his eyes watering. Reese didn’t look at him and he was grateful. Tears were falling down his face again.

“It amazes me how resilient and harsh your ‘friends' are towards the idea of SQUIPs but yet shames the one person too brave enough to get one,” they replied. Michael scoffed, wiping at his eyes.

“I’m not brave.”

“To continuously go through that school being teased and bullied and yet not succumbing to a super computer that could take it all away is brave,” Reese retorted before looking at the teen, “Showing up at the play despite what Jeremy did was brave.” Michael was silent. When he didn’t speak the computer continued, “Did Jeremy shame you?”

“No,” the teen whispered. The SQUIP’s eyes narrowed.

“Rich?” Michael was silent. “ _ ** **Rich****_ shamed you?” Reese’s voice was filled with disbelief and…anger?

“It was my fault,” the teen answered, curling up more. “I…I hurt him.”

“…How?” Michael let out a shuttered breath as he looked at the computer. The SQUIP sounded so __gentle__  and kind. They genuinely want to know, or so it seemed. A bitter part of him reminded himself that Kert would tell them either way. There was no secrecy anymore, the least he could do was try and make Reese understand his side. Not like it really mattered what the computer thought of him…no, that was a lie, he cared a lot. If the SQUIP he’s been fighting against for so long thought of him as less than a rival then there’s nothing stopping them from going to Jeremy. He needed them to think of him as an equal. But they just saw him vulnerable and crying…he sighed. He could never win.

“I confronted him about not telling me about Jeremy,” Michael mumbled. Reese nodded their head. The teen tensed when he felt a hand resting on his upper back. It took him a moment to realize it was supposed to be a comforting gesture and he tried to relax…unsuccessfully.

“Tell me everything.”

~oOo~

“I don’t know what to do,” the boy cried as he curled up closer to his companion. Kert sighed, stroking the teens hair as the human cried their eyes out. They had been surprised when Rich returned home early that day and even more so that the teen was upset. Now they sat on the floor, their human curled up against them crying as he told them what happened.

“Richard,” they called softly, “An apology may be enough.”

“No,” Rich hiccuped, “No, Michael hates me. I-I bullied him.”

“You were upset. You didn’t hurt him.”

“I-I pushed him! I-Into a locker!”

“I’m sure he'll live.”

“D-Don’t,” the teen pulled back to wipe at his eyes unsuccessfully, “This is your fault.”

“Mine?” Kert questioned confused.

“You m-made me like this! A-A bully! To hurt him! Y-You did that! You t-told Reese too!” Rich accused through his lisp. The SQUIP sighed.

“If it eases your mind I’ll take some of the blame. But remember there was a time you didn’t __complain__  about your actions,” they retorted.

“You would hurt me if I didn’t,” the teen cried.

“Don’t lie,” the computer glared, “You were more than willing to  do much of what I asked __without__  punishment.”

“N-No.”

“Don’t start this.”

“Y-You’re lying.”

“Enough.”

“This is your fault!”

“Stop it! Stop treating me like Jeremy!” Rich jumped, surprised at the hostile response. No matter how disappointed the SQUIP was in him they never yelled. Snapped, yes, but not yelled. Kert sighed again, clearly annoyed.

“I understand that near the end of our time together we came to a point of… _ _disagreement__. A boiling point that nearly…destroyed us both,” they glanced away, “But despite that you never spoke a bad word about me. We had our peaks and valleys but we made it through two years of successful character build. It was only through your horrendous family situation and gaining a different perspective of those you bullied through Jeremy that you changed towards me. But no matter how much you wanted me gone, or the amount of sarcastic comments you made towards me, you never treated me like Jeremy does Reese.”

“…Like how?”

“Constantly questioning __everything__ I ever do. __Doubt__  me. Blame me for every mistake even if it’s not by my doing. Or expect me to carry the weight of everything and set me up for failure. We were always a team and you never meant your sarcastic comments towards me. Not until you became friends with Jeremy and tried to relate to him by villainizing me. And now you actually believe it. I won’t take it,” Kert stared the teen down, clearly hurt. Rich didn’t answer. He glanced away, not knowing what say…or what not to. He had been taking liberties with the computer. Blaming them for everything while simultaneously using their need to help him to his advantage. He talked badly about them for being the evil SQUIP that hurt him while also not being able to recognize them as the Muppet he knew and trying to bring them back into his life. It was unfair.

Not knowing what to do he went with instincts. He curled back up to the computer, quietly hugging them again.

“You’re still an ass,” he mumbled, burying his face against their shoulder. Kert sighed but resumed stroking the others hair in comfort.

“And you’re still difficult…but I will help you apologize to Michael if it lightens your opinion of me.”

~oOo~

“What do you think happened?” Christine questioned as she chewed on the end of a fry. Jeremy shook his head in answer, staring at his phone intensely as he waited for his best friend to respond to his texts. But they didn’t.

“Its obvious what happened,” Chloe piped up from beside the drama girl, playing with the ice cream cup in her hand, “You just won't listen.”

“They’re not dating,” Christine criticized.

“Then why else?”

“They were talking about the…you know what,” Brooke whispered, leaning across the fast food restaurant’s table to the others. Jeremy hunched his shoulders more as his gaze hardened on the phone. He couldn’t bear to look up at them. This was his fault. Rich must have told Michael what he asked.

“Jeremy,” Christine called softly. Slowly the male's eyes lifted to meet hers. She smiled sweetly. “It's going to be okay.”

“Michael wont talk to me,” he whispered.

“Give him time,” she advised.

“Mell's a tough cookie. He probably wants to cry it out alone like normal,” Chloe dismissed with a wave of her hand.

“Michael’s not – I mean sometimes…but…you guys should really stop talking about him like that,” Jeremy finally said, “I-I think it bothers him.”

“Don’t worry, Jerry, I’m going to make it all go away,” Chloe promised with a wink. Jeremy’s stomach dropped at the implication.

“What are you going to do?”

“Easy. What better way to bring two love birds back together after a big fight?” Jeremy and Christine looked at each other before shrugging. Chloe rolled her eyes with a sigh before continuing, “Get drunk and have make-up sex.”

“What?!” Jeremy exclaimed, his voice cracking.

“You’re going to make them have sex?” Brooke questioned confused.

“That’s an awful idea,” Christine added. Chloe shot her a glare.

“Obviously there needs to be a venue. I’m going to host a party,” she announced, “And you all have to come.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jeremy said with a shake of his head.

“It’s perfect. They can forget all their problems including that evil computers exist. Then they can get on with their not-so-secret relationship. Okay?”

“I’m with Jeremy on this,” Christine sided, clearly not impressed. This only earned a glare from the popular girl.

“I think I’d know better about what boys need, don’t you?” Christine glared back before glancing away with a shake of her head. Chloe gave a small smirk at the small victory before turning back to the other two at the table. Jeremy glanced between her and Christine unsure if he should interfere or not. “So, I’m going to invite everyone to this party. Are you in or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A lot happened in this chapter but there is one thing I'd like to say that I couldn't say earlier since it would of kind of spoiled the chapter. I know Reese's method of cheering Michael up isn't a normal way for dealing with anxiety. I have intense anxiety so I do understand this. However, depending on the severity of an attack and what is triggering it will change how to deal with it. Reese's solution didn't get rid of the anxiety, it wasn't supposed to. It eliviated the tension between them so that Michael would open up and talk about the issue. He needed someone to talk to, and Reese picked a way to make that happen. It may seem silly but sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. I find personally that stupid little jokes always help eleviate my anxiety. It makes me smile even if the anxiety is still there. Cause anixety is an undercurrent feelings thats present even if you smile. So don't be fooled by Michael or Reese's actions. Michael is still not recovered, and Reese is finding a way to help.


	10. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah, just another party. Another party to stand alone in the corner awkwardly until I can go home. Only this time I have to awkwardly apologize to Rich! Yeah, I’m fine. Nothing triggering my anxiety at all.”
> 
> “Well, not completely alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Well, my promises aparently mean nothing! But I do have a reason for being late. Our schedule for the show that's playing at our theatre is really wacky and since this is its last week here it's been pretty crazy. I was trying to get the chapter ready but I had to make some priorities. Unfortunately next week's update might be a bit late too cause I have a lot of things planned, but the week after should be good to go! Hopefully.
> 
> As a side note, I just want to say thank you guys! All your comments for this story have been amazing so far! I do need to try and ease your minds a bit though. A lot of you seem to get really concerned or freaked out when I don't update on time and somehow think that I'm quiting the story. Nope. We're going for the long run! This story is a part of my morning and evening routine now and it's staying there. I'm determined to get to my favourite scene which is at the end of the story. So we're getting there! No need to worry. But the one guest (who didn't leave their name) who wrote out the lyrics for 'Upgrade' but with 'Update' in it was absolutely amazing! You guys always find great ways to make me smile and laugh every day! Thank you so much :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“Michael, don’t stall. You’ll make the situation worse if you arrive uncomfortably late,” Reese chastised as they leaned against the door frame. Michael shot them a glare through the bathroom mirror before sighing. Focusing his gaze on his own reflection he looked himself over. He was wearing his usual red hoodie and jeans, his iconic white headphones placed carefully around his neck. He didn’t look any different, no one would even know he was planning to go out a party. As usual he didn’t really care how he dressed, so spending time looking in the mirror was pointless…but if there was one thing the computer was right about it was that he was stalling. He didn’t want to go. He’d been avoiding Rich every chance he got since the fight to spare his anxiety, but - he had to admit - not talking to Rich was also peaking his anxiety. He couldn’t deal with it, and a part of him was too ashamed to try. A party was the last thing he needed, but - once again - everyone was peer pressuring him to go, and more forcefully than before. Well, more on Chloe's part. Of course once Reese heard about it that was it.

Michael rubbed his forearms together lightly, letting the fabric of his sweater sooth his mind.

“Michael,” the SQUIP called again, more gently this time. The teen sighed and looked over at the computer. Reese was looking at his wrists before slowly trailing up to his eyes. “Are you leaving or not?”

“Don’t be so desperate or I might think you’re up to something and stay,” Michael warned with a small grin. It would be the perfect excuse to tell himself, not so much to fend the others off with but still. Reese stared at him flatly, clearly unimpressed.

“I never took you as an __avoider__.”

“I never took you as __caring__.”

“Despite what you may believe, Rich doesn’t hate you - or even dislikes you. So, do everyone a favour and go talk with him,” the SQUIP huffed. Michael let out a breath and gave the floor a hard look.

“Fine.”

“But, before you go,” Reese straightened, “One adjustment.”

“No,” Michael warned darkly as he took a step back from the approaching computer, “You are __not__  my SQUIP, so don’t you dare.”

“One adjustment. It’s so small you’ll hardly notice,” Reese reasoned, motioning with their hand how small the request was. The teen shook his head.

“No.”

“Can I at least show you? I would never know if you reversed it behind my back.”

“No. Once you start you’ll never stop.”

“Over dramatic.”

“Its true, you’re not denying it.”

“Michael, you may find that appearing a certain way can boost your confidence. It may help in approaching Rich. Besides, I doubt you’ll ever let me get away with anything more than small adjustments,” the SQUIP bargained. Michael shook his head but the computer stepped up anyways. “Just unzip your sweater.”

“What?” the teen questioned.

“Unzip your sweater. That’s it.”

“Why?”

“It’ll make you appear more aloof and confident. You don’t have the personality to beam confidence through your sweater – or at least not with this crowd. You shouldn’t seem antisocial at a party,” the SQUIP explained while crossing their arms.

“Maybe I don’t want to socialize,” Michael retorted.

“I know at the very least you want to with Jeremy and Rich. This will subliminally tell them so.”

“I doubt my sweater will do that.”

“You'd be surprised.”

“Quit it, I’m not unzipping.” The teen took a last glance in the mirror before slipping past the SQUIP and into the living room. “Do I even want to know what you'll be doing while I’m gone?”

“Being a good little SQUIP,” Reese answered mockingly as they followed the boy out. Michael glared at their grin.

“Seriously.”

“I think you mean ‘ _ _elaborate'__. In addition to being a good computer, and since I am forbidden to do anything outside your home, tonight I will rot my brain away with your television,” they replied with a smirk.

“Good. Your brain needs to go,” Michael retorted with a grin of his own.

“Very funny.”

“You set yourself up.”

“I’m aware,” Reese sighed, unamused, “In addition to that I will also be reevaluating my injuries while you’re gone.” Michael blinked surprised before looking the computer over. They had been doing so well recently he forgot they were still recovering.

“Oh, you don’t want me here for that?” he asked concerned. He didn’t want the SQUIP to think he wouldn’t help them when their hurt. Reese shook their head with a small smile.

“I can manage. I’ve done so all this time without your aid, I can continue.” Their answer pulled a frown on the teen’s face. He didn’t realize the computer was doing so much without him noticing.

“I really don’t mind. You’re hurt, you shouldn’t be straining yourself at all,” he offered. Reese shook their head.

“I’m alright.”

“How can you act like you’re not hurting? Aren’t you in pain?”

“A trade secret.”

“…Reese, you’re not doing a SQUIP thing to hide your feelings, are you?” The SQUIP hesitated for a moment and that was all the confirmation the teen needed to give a disapproving look.

“Its not what you think,” Reese reasoned.

“I think it’s exactly what I think.”

“I’m not hiding my emotions. I am simply blocking some of my senses so that I can function without feeling pain. There is only so much I can do offline but now that I’m being fueled by the Mountain Dew I can do more than I did before,” they explained. The teen’s jaw dropped.

“You did __not__ just tell me you’re ****nerve blocking****  yourself!”

“Michael, it’s completely natural-"

“There's nothing natural about it! You can’t just block out pain when it’s convenient! You’re going to start doing that with emotional pain too and become an emotionless heap! You __have__  to feel, Reese!”

“I can’t function to the best of my abilities if I’m under constant pain,” Reese argued.

“You’re not a SQUIP anymore, you don’t __have__  to function at the best of your abilities. You just have to… _ _be__ ,” Michael retorted. Reese stared.

“…After I’m healed,” they offered slowly. The teen narrowed his eyes.

“No, you’re trying to get out of it now,” he sighed, softening his voice, “I get it, it’s scary. You’ve probably never felt pain like this before. But you have the luxury of being in a quiet space where you can learn to deal with it without judgement or responsibilities.”

“Without judgement?” Reese scoffed with a raised brow.

“I’m not going to make fun of your injuries or think you’re less of a dick because you’re in pain,” Michael retorted.

“…I’m still not fully convinced, but…I suppose the faster I let my mind adjust to pain the faster I will get used to them. Then I wont be caught off-guard in a situation where I’ve lost all contact with my SQUIP abilities. Though, the chances of that happening is slim if not non-existent,” Reese resigned, almost speaking to themselves.

“Are you going to do it tonight?”

“There’s no reason not to.”

“I should stay here, then,” Michael declared while crossing his arms, “You shouldn’t be alone.”

“Absolutely not,” Reese retorted, mimicking the teen’s actions, “You’re going to that party, Michael Mell, whether you like it or not.”

“This is more important. You can’t tell me a stupid party matters more,” the teen argued.

“You’re right, this is more important. But I can wait until you get back to turn it off. You need to talk to Rich or it’ll eat at your brain until you do.” Michael sighed.

“I don’t remember why you care.”

“Other than it breaks ties with the human harboring Kert? Believe it or not I don’t want you stressing over this. It worsens your mental health and, honestly, this SQUIP business is intense enough without adding to it.” The teen gave a small nod as he tapped his arm in thought. Slowly his body hunched as he looked away. Reese took a step forward, “It’s just another party. You’ve been to many before and you can do it again.”

“Yeah, just another party. Another party to stand alone in the corner awkwardly until I can go home. Only this time I have to awkwardly apologize to Rich! Yeah, I’m fine. Nothing triggering my anxiety at __all__ ,” Michael answered sarcastically, taking in a deep breath to help calm his nerves. Reese offered a small smile.

“Well, not completely alone. I’m sure you’ll call every five minute to make sure I’m behaving. So, I suppose I’ll be there in spirit,” they comforted. The teen gave a flat look before rolling his eyes.

“Woop-dee-doo, I’m so blessed,” he replied sarcastically. The SQUIP chuckled.

“A distraction’s a distraction. Take it or leave it.”

“I can’t leave it or you’ll misbehave.”

“I might surprise you.”

“Doubt it.”

“Go to the party,” Reese ushered, lightly motioning for the teen to go upstairs, “You’ll draw attention to yourself the longer you stall. Don’t make the situation worse.” Michael sighed.

“Fine, but…just…stay by the phone.” With that the teen ascended the stairs, missing the chuckle from the SQUIP behind him.

~oOo~

He knew he was anxious, but he didn’t realize how terrified he was until he was standing outside Chloe's door. For the first time ever he was going to a party alone - without Jeremy by his side. The attention would all be on him. Michael couldn’t think of any reason to not turn and run right now. He could always talk to Rich at school, he didn’t need to go to the party. But __apparently__  the party was a big deal. He wasn’t told why, it just was. Jeremy wasn’t pushy about it like normal, but Chloe definitely was. He guessed, if he needed a reason to stay, it would be to not leave Jeremy alone, even if Christine would be there. But, then again, his best friend could manage one night without him, couldn’t he?

“Michael Mell!” a voice shouted and he jumped. Startled he looked at the open door where Chloe Valentine was staring expectantly at him. How did she know he was there? Did she see him through the window? Or was she waiting for him? No, that didn’t make sense. She wasn’t a fan of his. “Are you coming or not?” Unable to find his voice to answer he awkwardly approached the door.

“H-Hey,” he greeted quietly as she took a step to the side.

“Took you long enough,” she chastised as she closed the door behind him. To his slight relief the party was already in full swing. Unfortunately, more eyes than he would have liked were on him. Stepping up beside him, Chloe smiled coyly, “You know the drill, go and mingle.” With that she left him alone.

Michael hesitantly stayed by the door. He didn’t know what to do. Gazing around the room his eyes immediately found Rich. The shorter teen was sitting beside a beer pong table, watching the game distantly. He didn’t seem interested in what was happening but instead fidgeted nervously in his seat. Michael took a shuttered breath. He didn’t think he was ready to talk to Rich, not yet. Luckily, Jeremy caught his eye not too far away and he instead moved towards his best friend.

Jeremy was talking with Christine on the couch, their conversation seeming sort of serious. Michael felt his stomach tighten but he cautiously approached anyways. “Am I…interrupting anything?” he questioned slowly. Jeremy's eyes immediately snapped to his.

“Michael!” he greeted as he motioned for his friend to join them.

“You’re not interrupting anything,” Christine assured kindly. Michael smiled as he sat down on the ottoman across from them.

“H-How have you been?” Jeremy stuttered, nervousness in his voice. Michael hesitated, his stomach tightening once more before he shrugged.

“Fine. Just doing homework and stuff,” he eluded. He knew his answer didn’t convince Jeremy but Christine interjected before his friend could question him further.

“Hey, Michael! Did you know there’s a bootleg of Hamilton going around?” she questioned excitedly. Michael smiled at her, grateful for the change of subject.

“Um, no. I haven’t been on my computer other than to do homework. Was it good?”

“So good! We need to see it live!”

“Haha, first thing we'll do when we're rich.”

“Why haven’t you been on your computer?” Jeremy questioned with a furrowed brow. “You’re always on it.”

“Oh, I’ve- uh…I’ve been busy. I’m replaying some old games,” Michael answered with a fake smile. Jeremy let out a laugh.

“Trying to beat your speed run?”

“You know it.” The teen was happy that the conversation was going smoothly. Jeremy had taken the bait and it was a welcome change. Honestly, the last thing he needed was another problem to deal with. His smile quickly faltered when he saw Jeremy’s mood shift back to nervousness.

“H-Hey, um…about the other day…” the taller teen started, eyes shifting to meet anywhere but his friend. Christine shot Jeremy a warning glance but didn’t say anything as Michael stared in horror. Jeremy bit his lip slightly before continuing, “I – uh…I wanted to explain…you know, what-"

“Michael!” All three teens jumped in their seats as they looked at the offending voice. Rich was standing by the couch, huffing slightly as though he just run there, eyes locked on Michael. “When did you get here?!”

“I – Uh…I don’t know, a few minutes ago?” he answered nervously, his anxiety rising. Rich nodded though he didn’t seem any less calm.

“We need to talk,” he stated firmly. Michael glanced from Jeremy to Christine nervously. Jeremy seemed too stunned to say anything and Christine looked just as anxious as him, but with more concern.

“…Sure,” he replied slowly, unsure if he was ready. But he knew the faster he talked to Rich the faster it would be over. Hesitantly he stood and followed the shorter male out of the room. He wasn’t sure where they were going, which only making his nerves worsen. Soon enough he noticed that the teen was leading him back to the front door. Cautiously he followed Rich outside.

It was a nice refreshment to be away from the claustrophobic environment but he was sure this somehow brought more attention then seclusion. After Rich checked that no one else was there he turned to Michael.

“So…” he started slowly, scratching the back of his head. Michael bit his lip, waiting for the other to speak first. Rich sighed, “I’m sorry. I…I’m really, __really__  sorry. I didn’t mean to…to…” he motioned to Michael’s arms, unable to get his words out. Michael rubbed the spot lightly in memory.

“Don’t…I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you…or said you were like…you know.”

“I should have told you,” Rich argued, “About Jeremy.”

“I wish you did…but that doesn’t make what I said any better. I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” They were both quiet for a moment, offering each other a small smile. Rich continued, “Next time, I promise I’ll tell. It must have freaked you out to hear it from Neo.”

“Rich,” Michael hissed before glancing back at the house. Anyone could have be eavesdropping.

“Shit! Sorry,” Rich apologized quickly. Michael sighed.

“It’s fine…and yeah, it did freak me out. You don’t know how that feels, Rich. Finding everything out from them. We're supposed to be a team. Us against them, remember?” The shorter teen looked away, letting out a breath.

“Yeah, but...I’m tired of sides. I get it, they’re evil. And there are other evil people looking for them. But…I’m tired of bouncing between being loyal to you or to Jeremy or to Kert…” his voice got quiet at the end. Michael stared at him for a long moment.

“Rich-"

“I know! I know Kert’s bad for me and I don’t know what I’m saying! But…they’re different now. They aren’t doing any of that shit anymore. They can’t, and…” Rich sighed, “I don’t hate them. I keep trying to but…I don’t. I hate certain things they do - or did - but…I don’t hate them. And I’m sorry but I don’t.”

“Rich,” Michael voiced quietly before glancing away, “I get it. Kert was there for you for years. It’s hard to let that go or distrust them when they probably never failed you. Honestly…it’s hard imagining everything you and Jeremy said being real when they’re like this. There’s a part of me that doubts Reese did all those things even when they straight out tell me they did. Because they’re so…”

“Different,” Rich finished. Michael nodded.

“But that doesn’t change that it __did__  happen. You can’t forget that. I’m not saying you need to hate Kert but…don’t forget what they did. I don’t think after everything they did it’s fair to forgive them so easily. If they really have changed…or __are__  changing into decent human beings then they need to earn that from you,” he continued. Rich nodded slowly though there was still doubt in his eyes.

“…For what it’s worth…I’m glad you were there that night. Or I’d be dealing with this with Jeremy right now…or alone. And I doubt Jeremy would be as tough as you are with Reese. Heck, they wouldn’t even be named that!” he exclaimed.

“Well, I wouldn’t have been there if you hadn’t invited me to hang out,” Michael answered with a small smile. Rich gave an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah…guess things would have been a lot different if you weren’t there…or if they weren’t.”

“What do you mean? If they weren’t there things would be the same as always,” Michael retorted confused.

“Well…” Rich trailed off. Michael’s eyes widened when he noticed the slight blush on the others cheeks and the embarrassment in his eyes.

“Rich,” he pressed slowly. Rich looked down at his feet, fidgeting awkwardly.

“Its just…you know…I didn’t want to just ‘hang out' that night,” he confessed, slowly looking at the other with a sheepish grin, “Or at least not in the way you’d think.” Michael stared at him mortified. Rich’s smile quickly faded when his friend's expression didn’t change. “I-It was a mistake! I-I was just trying to make Jake jealous and…you know…get some steam out. But you’re a cute guy, Michael! Who knows where we could have ended up! We could have been…you know, dating, if it weren’t for them.” Michael shook his head. He couldn’t believe it. He was right about Rich, about what he wanted that night. He was right to have been cautious with him. Rich was going to use him. The shorter teen talked like they should be blaming the SQUIPs for ruining their night when in reality he should be thanking them for helping him avoid the situation. He didn’t want to sleep with Rich. He was still adjusting to being friends with him let alone thinking of him in a romantic light. What was even more infuriating is that this statement only fueled the rumoring going around about them. Rich had wanted the rumour to happen.

“Ha! Knew it!” a voice boasted nearby. Both teens jumped and looked around. To Michael's horror a window nearby was open and the curtains pulled back. His friends were all watching through the window. They all shared looks of guilt except for two. Chloe looked smug and Jeremy…Jeremy seemed panicked and confused. He looked  _ _suspicious__. Michael’s stomach tightened.

“See? They’re totally dating,” Chloe continued, motioning to the two. “Now kiss!”

“Chloe,” Brooke hushed, “Rich said they weren’t.”

“But he wants to.”

“I-I didn’t say that,” Rich defended weakly.

“Come on, when will you two kiss and make up?” Chloe questioned annoyed.

“There’s obviously another guy,” Jenna pointed out, “They said someone interrupted them.”

“Who?! Who’s this mystery guy?” Chloe questioned half appalled and half excited.

“No one!” Rich tried unsuccessfully.

“Is it the guy Michael keeps calling?” the popular girl asked suggestively. Michael’s heart froze, his hand tightening around the phone in his pocket. He didn’t remember when he grabbed it, but now he couldn’t let it go. His eyes widened even more when he noticed Jeremy moving away from the window, heading towards the door, Jake right behind him.

“Leave us be. It’s none of your business,” Rich defended, stepping in front of Michael. But the other teen didn’t feel very safe.

“Michael,” Jeremy called as he exited the house and approached the pair. Michael shook his head, taking a step back. The taller teen hesitated but continued forward. “Michael, what’s happening?”

“Nothing! Stay out of it, Jer,” Rich warned, though panic was in his eyes.

“Rich,” Jake scolded disapprovingly.

“Its none of your business!”

“How is it not?” Jeremy questioned, his confidence coming out, “You two are hiding something and it’s scaring us! O-Or me…no, us! What’s going on? Who do you keep calling? Why does only Rich know? Who stopped you the night of the party? Who do you keep talking about? And does it have __anything__  to do with SQUIPs? Or was that fight the other day about me bringing it up?” Rich looked at Michael nervously but Michael didn’t return the gaze. He was staring at the ground, refusing to acknowledge he even heard what the taller teen asked.

“Back off, Tall-Ass,” Rich growled, turning his heated eyes towards said teen. Jeremy gulped slightly but stood his ground. He wanted answers.

****RING…** **

Everyone’s eyes snapped to Michael at the sound. The teen’s watery eyes widened.

****…RING…** **

Slowly he slid his phone out of his pocket. He could feel the device vibrating in his hand as stared at the ID. His house. Reese. His heart pounded in his chest as he stared at it. Should he answer? In front of Jeremy? No, he couldn’t. But to be pulled away from the disaster that this was…a distraction. Could he even call it that? It was more of a ‘postponing disaster’ phone call.

Without realizing he made a decision he answered the phone.

His voice died in his throat. He didn’t know what to say and was too stunned by the fact that he answered to say the first thing that came to mind. He couldn’t just say their name with so many witnesses. They would never stop questioning him about it until they knew more about the person behind the name. “Hello?” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“Michael, get home. __Now.__ ”

“W-What?”

“Get home, now. Tell Rich to stay where he is, then get in your car and drive. They’re coming.” Michael’s eyes widened as he stared at the shorter teen. Rich’s eyes reflected his anxiety.

“What? What’s wrong?” he asked panicked. Michael shook his head.

“Stay here,” he passed on, barely above a whisper. Without warning he turned and rushed over to his car.

“Wha – Michael!” Rich called frantically.

“Michael, wait!” Jeremy joined. A few more voices called his name but he didn’t care to identify them.

“Stay here,” he repeated as loudly as he could manage, turning to look Rich dead in the eyes. Rich and Jeremy paused in their steps towards him. The shorter teen seemed indecisive but got the hint that something was wrong. Jeremy was more lost than ever on the situation, more panicked and concerned for his best friend than before. Michael’s heart tightened again.

Hesitantly he got into his car.

~oOo~

“Michael,” the SQUIP greeted as soon as the teen walked inside the house. They were waiting for him. Before Michael could answer Reese was already by his side locking the door.

“Wha-"

“Don’t speak. Just follow and listen,” the SQUIP instructed as they took the teen’s arm and quickly guided them to the basement. Michael let out a few stunned sounds, trying to figure out what was happening. As Reese pulled him along they continued.

“They’re nearby, the one’s searching for us. They’re scanning for our location. We’ve managed to avoid their detection this long but if they get physically close enough neither of our offline modes will be able to protect us from being found.”

“H-How do they know you’re here?” Michael questioned, his voice cracking.

“They don’t. They’re searching. I felt their presence so they must be searching the whole area. They’ll be here soon,” Reese answered, letting Michael’s arm go now that they were down the stairs.

“What do we do?” the teen asked frightened. What __could__  they do? To answer his question the SQUIP walked around the kitchen counter and picked up the two objects on it. A bottle of vodka and a shot glass. Michael looked at them skeptically. “You’re gonna get drunk?”

“No. A shot should be more than enough to…turn me off,” Reese answered slowly, looking at the bottle wearily. Michael looked from the bottle back to the SQUIP.

“…What does that mean? What'll it do to you?”

“…I don’t know…and Kert hasn’t woken up yet to tell me if they’re alright…”

“Kert did it?! Alone?!”

“They had no choice, their home was being checked. Which is why it’s best if Rich doesn’t go home, it could cause suspicion. If they think his home is empty and someone of Kert’s description is not at the party than they will most likely assume that Kert is not with Rich. Especially if all of your friend’s homes are also cleared, including yours,” they answered, eyeing the bottle of vodka again wearily. Michael tried clearing his throat.

“W-What do you think will happen? Before, did you just turn off?” he asked, his voice cracking again to his dread. Reese’s eyes shifted to him.

“My speech would change to my native tongue, I’d be unable to make clear calculations or full coherent sentences and then I would shut off.”

“Native tongue?”

“Japanese.”

“Oh, right...wont they be suspicious that I’m home?”

“Maybe, but as long as they can’t find me your name should be cleared.”

“…Will they check the house? Physically?”

“No, they’ll only scan for me.” Reese turned their body to fully face the teen, “I only need you to watch me. Not consistently but enough to know that I’m… _ _functioning__.” Michael slowly nodded, trying to swallow the lump in his throat unsuccessfully. Stepping around the teen, Reese walked towards the fridge. Swiftly they pulled a bottle of Mountain Dew out.

“In case of emergency use this,” they instructed while handing the bottle to the other. Michael hesitantly took it, holding it loosely in his hands. Reese watched him for a long moment before continuing, “And…if I seem fine but don’t a wake within the next hour, start shaking it.”

“What?” the teen questioned startled.

“For every minute I don’t wake up, shake it. I’ll more than deserve the outcome."

“And if I shake it either way?”

“I’ll take the risk.” Michael stared at them for a long moment before slowly looking at the bottle. The computer was putting a lot of trust in him…a weight he didn’t know if he could handle.

A hand was placed on his shoulder and he looked back up at the SQUIP. “But above anything, swear you’ll not leave my body's side. No matter what. Even if someone’s at the door – if __Jeremy__ _ _’s__  at the door. Or for anything. Don’t leave my side. Don’t…risk it. When I wake up, we’ll talk,” Reese instructed gently. Michael’s brow furrowed. He wasn’t sure at first why the SQUIP was pressing the matter, but now…he had suspicions. Bad suspicions. Did they…know? He glanced down.

“…Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. But-" Reese paused, eyes glowing slightly as they stared at the space beside the teen. Michael's heart clenched up, waiting anxiously for the SQUIP to respond. After a moment they began to move again, grabbing Michael’s arm and lightly pushing him towards the chairs. “They’re near. Quick.” Michael didn’t argue as he raced to his chair and sat down. Reese was shortly behind him as they grabbed the vodka and glass. Sitting they poured themselves a shot. They stared at it wearily for a moment before downing it. Michael bit his lip.

“…Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“No, and it’s too late to change my mind,” Reese replied as they reclined in their seat, trying to get comfortable though their face didn’t hide any of their nervousness.

“Will an hour be enough?” Michael whispered.

“If I successfully make it through an hour then it should be harmless to take another shot,” the SQUIP answered. The teen nodded slightly, watching the computer intently. Every second burned like a year had passed. He didn’t know if he’d be able to handle the next hour, but what else could he do? He was helpless. All he could do is watch, and wait - being left with nothing but his consuming thoughts on the night’s events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Lucky for Michael he was whisked away from the party, only to get thrown back into the SQUIP world. Will he be okay?


	11. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “…I don’t know why…but a place came to mind…and I know everything will be alright there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, my prediction came true. Things got too busy to update on time. But I made a long chapter, that makes up for it, right? Right? No? Well, it's long anyways. Michael and Reese are finally having the talk they need. Hope you guys enjoy it :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

He waited.

He waited for the SQUIP to wake. As each minute passed he kept his stare on their unconscious form, tensing at the anticipated movement. The computer had done everything they said they would. Their speech started slipping into Japanese, creating incoherent sentences in the process. Before he knew it they were unconscious. To his ease of mind they seemed to be okay. They were breathing normally as though asleep and showed no signs of distress. That didn’t mean it didn’t scare the shit out of him anyways.

What if the SQUIP didn’t wake up? What if these people still found them? Would they punish Michael too? What if he couldn’t fend them off? What if he couldn’t revive Reese? Would it be his fault? Of course it would. He doubts anyone but Reese would give him an easy time about it. Computers aren't easily swayed from how things really are, but humans are.

Michael looked at his phone. He had a received a lot of text messages and phone calls from his friends - all were ignored. The only message he bothered to send back was to Rich after the shorter teen freaked out asking what happened. He simply instructed them to stay at the party until it was time to leave, and that was all. He got a few messages from Jeremy too, asking similar questions. His friend was worried for him and believed something serious happened. He wasn’t wrong. He hated ignoring Jeremy but he didn’t want to lie to them, especially since it'd be to a direct question about the SQUIP.

To his surprise he got a message from Christine. She didn’t ask about the situation or anything else. She only asked if he was okay and that if he needed anyone she would be there. Her text sent the most warmth to his heart. He wished he had grown closer to her sooner. He had spent too much time disliking her over how much Jeremy was trying to change for her to notice how wonderful she is. Another failure on his part.

He hovered his finger over the response button. He wanted to talk to someone, to __confide__  in someone. Someone objective, who would only help. But he couldn’t. It would be unfair to include Christine in any of this, especially when Jeremy wasn’t. He couldn’t tell them…or anyone…he would have to do this alone.

A jolt from the body beside him woke him from his daze. Michael's eyes snapped to the computer as the SQUIP’s eyes opened. “Reese?” he called quietly - his voice hoarse - as he moved closer in case they needed him. Reese rolled onto their side, facing Michael, but their glazed eyes fixed onto the floor.

“Warning…Warning…?” they mumbled, looking around confused as though trying to find their bearings.

“Reese?” the teen called again concerned, placing a hand on the computer's arm. Reese immediately placed their hand over his, gripping tightly. Their eyes found Michael for a moment before shifting away, still not fully grounded to their surroundings.

“Its okay. It’s okay. It’s safe. You’re safe,” they whispered gently, as though trying to calm someone down. Michael's brows furrowed as his heart began to race.

“Reese?” he questioned again, his voice barely coming out of his throat. The SQUIP shook their head slightly in response, gripping his hand tighter as though to signal they heard.

“You’re okay. You’re okay, you’re safe. Breathe.  It’s okay. You’re safe,” they continued to mumble. Michael didn’t know what to say. Were they talking to him? Were they broken? Did they know where they are? What should he do?

“Rich? Rich,” the SQUIP's eyes finally locked with his, eyes cleared, “Rich. Get Rich. He needs to go home. Now.” Michael’s eyes widened in realization. __Something was wrong with Kert__. Without a second thought he used his free hand to grab his dropped phone and hastily sent a text to the shorter teen. He knew Rich was just waiting for an excuse to go home, he doubts it will take them long to get there.

“What happened? Is Kert okay? Are you okay?” he asked frantically, turning his attention back to the SQUIP. Reese roughly sat up,  taking in a shuttered breath.

“Yes…yes, we're safe,” they answered slowly, eyes downcast.

“…I asked if you were okay,” Michael pressed gently, his concern only growing. Reese’s eyes shifted to him, holding the gaze for a long moment. They were unsure, and shaken.

“…Yes,” they finally answered, “I am…well.”

“…Are you sure?”

“…I am physically well,” they corrected slowly, “The alcohol caused no harm.”

“…Then…emotionally?” He wondered if he was pushing too far, but he was terrified of whatever was distressing the computer. Reese was quiet, lost in thought. Then they started to look around, breaths coming in more quickly.

“I can't…” Before the teen could ask the SQUIP was on their feet, offering their hand for him to take, “Come with me.”

“What?”

“Quick, please. I can't…just come,” they begged, unusual desperation in their voice. Michael - too dumbstruck to find words - obeyed, taking the computer's hand as they helped him to stand. Immediately Reese pulled him along, heading up the stairs at a quick pace.

“Where are we going? Outside? What about the SQUIP people?” the teen asked nervously.

“They're gone. It’s safe. Just…I can’t breath,” Reese answered, their voice raspy. Michael's eyes widened as he followed the SQUIP outside. Were they having a panic attack? But…why?

Reese barely let the teen lock the door behind them before continuing to drag him down the street. Michael couldn’t help looking around frantically in the dark. What if the SQUIP was wrong and the people were still around? Reese was literally walking outside for the first time without any disguise. Quickly he reached his free hand out and flipped the computer's hood over their head. The SQUIP paused for a moment, startled, as they glanced at the hood. Looking at the teen they gave a short nod before continuing, their pace barely slowing.

Reese continued to drag Michael block by block, somehow knowing where they were going. The teen stayed quiet but his heart continued to pound louder and louder with each passing moment that wasn’t explained. Reese could be broken, or they could be possessed by the bad guys for all he knew, and he was blindly following. Were they trying to get to Kert? If so why not take the car? It would be safer and faster. Where could they be possibly going on foot? Was this a trap?

Lost in his thoughts his pace slowed as his breathing increased. Reese only noticed when their arm was yanked back as they tried to continue forward at their set stride. Pausing they looked back at the distressed teen. “Michael,” they addressed concerned, and in slight surprise, “I'm distressing you. I apologize…I should explain.” Reese looked at their feet for a moment before hesitantly looking back to the anxiously waiting male. “I just…couldn't breath. I need to be able to think, and I…couldn't,” they admitted slowly.

“…Why didn’t you just say that? That you're…freaking out?” Michael asked, his voice barely audible.

“I couldn’t think,” they repeated, “I can't… _ _function__  like this. And you need me. __Kert__  needs me. But I can’t. Not when I can’t… _ _breath__. I need air.”

“Where? We’re already outside.”

“…I don’t know why…but a place came to mind…and I know everything will be alright there.” Michael didn’t question further as they continued to walk at an easier pace. There was a part of him that understood, even if his mind still warned him to be cautious.

Before long the SQUIP changed directions, turning briskly into a wooded area, following the path hidden from any light. The dark, enclosed space only worsened Michael's anxiety, especially since he couldn’t see where they were going, so he hovered closer to the SQUIP. Reese didn’t seem too sure at first where they were going either, glancing around as though to gain perspective, but it was clear they could see better than the teen so Michael didn’t question them as they continued on their way.

The wooded area soon cleared and Michael found himself following the computer up a grassy hill to its peak. It was a clearing that the path didn’t follow but the SQUIP walked up it anyways. Their pace slowed to a stop as they reached the top. Michael glanced around the area. There was only a few trees around, scattered among the small clearing, only one making it to the top of the hill. There was also a bench beside it with a quote engraved on its wood, probably in dedication to a person long gone. Michael could see the houses of the area they had just been in and the rest of its urban surroundings nearby. Though it was close - and so was the path and even a park - the hill felt secluded. A quiet place, especially at that time of night. It was silent other than what noise the wind brought with it.

“Where are we?” Michael questioned quietly, looking at the SQUIP nervously, but Reese wasn’t looking at him. Instead their eyes were fixated on the sky above.

“...You can see the stars clearly from here,” they answered softly. The teen was surprised by how gentle the computer’s answer was and how their eyes were almost entranced by the distant lights. It was…vulnerable. He looked up too.

“...Yeah, you can.”

“...I was going to take Jeremy here.” Michael was surprised again by the honest answer. His eyes snapped to the SQUIP to see the sombre expression on their face. “I looked over all the statistics for this location. I thought it would be a better place to star gaze in…I kept the information for it in the back of my memory files for when it would be needed. I don’t know why I thought of it, but…if there was a place to think…this would be it.” Reese quietly sat down, finally letting go of Michael’s hand, as they turned their gaze towards further stars. The teen looked at their hand, not fully realizing he had been guided there by it until the contact was broken. Slowly, he joined the computer and sat down, not knowing if he should say something or not. He didn’t need to because the computer continued, “It’s half way. Half way from your home to Rich’s…and close to Jeremy. My mind can find some ease in that.”

“...Are they okay?” Michael asked again, his voice barely sounding. Reese was silent.

“Whatever they feel…I hope Rich can fix it,” they answered quietly. The teen’s eyes fell to the ground. If it was comfort Kert needed, Rich wasn’t the person to give it. If earlier that night was any indication, Rich was terrible at expressing anything. Reese glanced at him, noticing his reaction. “If Rich can’t…then…I suppose I’ll have to be enough. If not…then…I hope they remember that’s they’re __alive__ …and that’s enough.”

“Alive?” Michael echoed, noticing the emphasis on the word.

“...Their mind isn’t focused on the present right now. If they can’t find comfort, I hope they return to their SQUIP protocol. Their normal SQUIP mind is logical and will focus on the fact that we survived the alcohol rather than…anything else. And I hope that eases their mind if nothing else will.”

“Wait,” the teen turned to face the computer, “What do you mean __survive__  the alcohol?”

“You know there were risks-”

“Yes, but…life **_**_threatening_**_** risks?”

“…Yes…I don’t understand-”

“You don’t __understand__? You implied something shitty might happen but you forgot to mention you might - I don’t know - __die!__ ”

“…I…How could you not know? You knew the alcohol would shut off my systems and my SQUIP pill is directly connected to my brain. So, of course there would be a chance that my pill might put my body into a coma state, or render me completely brain dead, or even kill me. How could you not assume that would happen?” Michael stared at them in pure horror. Without a second thought he stood, standing over the SQUIP.

“Are you fucking - I can’t even - what the actual **_**_fuck_**_**  is wrong with you?! Are you __trying__  to kill yourself? Because you’re doing a great job at it! You ask me how the fuck I wouldn’t just __assume__  you’d die? Because for some reason I believed a fucking ****super computer****  would be smart enough to __not__  throw their life in the garbage and hope it’ll pop back out! Is one near death experience not enough for you?! You want to keep testing it every week?! Come on! Let’s go down to the pier next week and push you into the water to see if you can swim! Or dump some Mountain Dew Red in your drink to see if you can survive a mixture! Or gain a tolerance to it! Yeah, nothing dangerous there! Just your **_**_life_**_**! Fuck, Reese! How can you ****not**** see how fucked up this is?! What could I have __possibly__ done if you didn’t wake up? Or Died?! Fuck!” Reese was silent, taken aback by the outburst. They stared at Michael as the teen began to angrily pace to clear some of his frustration.

“...What else could I have done?” they finally whispered.

“What else could you have **_**_done_**_**?!” Michael snapped, turning on the SQUIP, “You’re a ****super computer****! You could have thought of __something__  with that infinite brain of yours!”

“...A broken super computer,” Reese corrected quietly, “We had no time. No time to find… _ _any__  other solution. I needed to turn off.”

“You ****are**** fucking broken to think that __any__  of this is okay! That __any__ of this is normal! That’s the third time, did you know that?! The third time I found you **_**_strolling_**_**  down death’s road! Do you have __any__  idea?! ****Any****  idea how…how ****any****  of this affects me?! Do you even care?! Of course not! Because I’m holding you hostage from Jeremy! Who cares what happens to me? I volunteered! I should be happy to deal with all of this torture if it keeps you from Jeremy! I should be happy to keep having traumatic stress every time something happens to you or thinking something’s happening to you to make sure Jeremy doesn’t suffer instead! But I’m not! So fucking quit it! Or I’ll…I’ll fucking…” Choking on his words Michael turned so the SQUIP couldn’t see the furious tears running down his face. He couldn’t keep himself together long enough to get everything he needed to say out, and a part of him was grateful. He almost said something he’d regret, something he wished the computer would never know. Yet the SQUIP now knew more than he wished they knew anyways. He could never win.

“Please,” the voice was so quiet Michael wasn’t even sure if he heard it over his chaotic thoughts or if it was just his imagination. But the sharp intake of breath behind him assured him it was real. So was the wavering voice that continued, “Don’t…misunderstand. Don’t…Don’t…I can’t…I don’t…” Turning, the teen’s eyes widened. Reese was shaking, staring at the ground with wide watery eyes. They were gasping for air, trying to articulate something they couldn’t put together. __They were hyperventilating__.

“Reese,” he called, kneeling down near the SQUIP, “Reese, breathe.”

“No…you don’t…you don’t…” Reese’s breath came in shorter as they shook their head. Michael hesitantly shifted closer.

“You need to breathe,” he instructed, trying to sound comforting.

“You don’t understand,” the SQUIP whispered, still unable to get their breathing under control, “You don’t…you’re suppose to…you do…you did…don’t…”

“Reese,” Michael tried hushing the computer, but they weren’t listening. He let out a breath, not knowing what to do. If Reese didn’t listen to him they were going to render themselves unconscious. He couldn’t ask Kert or Rich for help and Jeremy…He was worried that this reaction might not be from Reese at all and wondered if Kert was effecting them…or if this really was all Reese.

Not knowing what else to do Michael placed a hand on the computer’s shoulder in awkward comfort. “If you don’t breathe you’ll pass out…use your logic to calm down. I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”

“Please, just…turn it off,” Reese finally looked up at the teen, their eyes giving in as their tears spilled over their cheeks and their breath came in shallower, “Turn it off…let me turn it off. Please, I can’t…” Michael’s eyes widened as he realized what they were asking. __They wanted to nerve block their emotions__. A rush of sympathy filled him as he remembered the SQUIP never felt overwhelming emotions before, if negative ones at all. __They were looking for help__.

“Don’t,” he whispered, finally blinking out of his wide eyed stare, “Don’t turn it off. Just…breathe. Whatever you’re feeling, no matter how bad…it’s normal. It’s __okay__. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re going to be okay.” Michael bit his lip, trying to think of what to say to make the computer understand. “Your…Your body is telling you that something’s __wrong__. That your hurt inside. But just like a cut you can heal. You know how your hand got broken? And you braced it? It’s the same thing, it’s just…harder to see, and harder to fix. There’s no one right way. But it starts with breathing.” Reese let out a small sound almost like a laugh but they were taking in longer breaths. Michael waited, allowing his own breaths to come out louder to help encourage the SQUIP to follow his lead. Reese listened.

After a few minutes passed, though not corrected, the computer was breathing at a more stable pace. “You don’t realize…how objective a SQUIP is…until you face the same emotions your human did…but this time your mind is lost to the feelings…rather than functioning as though it can’t touch you,” they mused quietly. They let their body relax slightly as they closed their eyes. Taking in a few more breaths they opened them again. “I’m not accustomed to… _ _any__  of this. Thinking of my own safety and needs. Objectively I can, but subjectively…And nearly dying…It’s happening so often that I almost feel like its normal. There’s a part of me that prefers that rather than believing that the universe is trying to tell me that I’m not wanted…”

“…If the world is Final Destination then I don't want to live in it,” Michael mumbled as he settled back beside the SQUIP. Reese let out a small chuckle.

“It seems living in a SQUIP world isn’t any better.”

“Apparently not.” The teen turned to face the computer, “Reese…This needs to change. I can't keep doing this, and it’s unfair to ask anyone to.”

“I know…But, if change happens, it won't be in the way you imagine,” Reese answered, “Less often deaths would be nice. Anything else, though…will have to become normal for you. The only thing I can offer differently is to not assume you know anything and always explain, as long as you don’t feel too ‘SQUIPed' by doing so.”

“Even if I do I’ll deal with it. I need you to always tell me what’s happening honestly and __a__ _ _head__ of time. No exceptions,” Michael agreed.

“But in return you must be open minded. Events like today could happen again, one where we're backed into a corner with no other solutions. In moments like that stubbornness can’t outweigh the need to survive,” the computer clarified. Michael took a moment but slowly nodded. If the SQUIP actually kept their word to ease his mind before moments of crisis then he could be more understanding. Even if it is something risky…the SQUIP would know better than him.

Silence fell over them again as their eyes turned back to the sky. The air between them seemed lighter and much of the anxiety seemed to calm. When enough time passed Michael spoke, “Reese.” The SQUIP looked at him. “Why do they want you back? The evil people. What do they want with you?”

“…I have theories,” they answered slowly, “The main being we know too much. Their whole organization is at jeopardy as long as we’re free.”

“Why don’t you expose them, then?”

“There are lives at risk. Despite what you may believe we aren’t heartless enough to throw lives out the window to expose them. Besides, such leaked knowledge could destroy the whole company. You can imagine, I support the idea of SQUIPs. However, what this branch has done to achieve it…is inexcusable.”

“You mean making SQUIP's human?”

“No,” Reese shook their head lightly, “It's more…twisted then that. But now’s not the time for such conversation. If you truly want to know then it has to be done at a better time, when we're both in a better mental state. It’s the heaviest information I may ever give you, and the hardest for me to tell.” Michael wanted to press further but kept his mouth shut at the SQUIP's ominous tone. Slowly, he nodded. If the computer was at least willing to share then he shouldn’t complain. He would find out sooner or later, and that was progress.

Reese began shifting to face the teen better as they started unzipped their sweater. “In the mean time,” they addressed as they took their jacket off and draped it over Michael's shoulders, to the teen’s surprise, “We have other matters to discuss.”

“What are you doing?” Michael questioned as the SQUIP flipped the hood over his head.

“Comforting.”

“With a sweater?”

“A security sweater.”

“You really are the worst SQUIP,” Michael chastised as he let out a small laugh, shaking his head.

“Good. You hate SQUIPs, so the ‘worse' I am the more you’ll like me,” Reese replied with a grin of their own.

“Is that sarcasm or are you actually trying to get me to like you?”

“Both.”

“Why?”

“The answer hasn’t changed.”

“…Because you don’t hate me.”

“That’s right.”

“But you don’t have to like me.”

“There are many things I don’t have to do, but I choose to. For example, if I can make you smile even once while under distress, then I think I’m the most successful SQUIP that’s ever lived,” Reese countered, their grin growing. Michael rolled his eyes before noticing there was already a small smile on his face.

“This isn’t a victory. I’m smiling at your ridiculousness.”

“Good. My method is working.”

“I really don’t need your comfort.”

“I beg to differ. Tonight couldn’t have been easy for you.” The teen was silent. Reese paused for a moment before continuing, “Tell me what happened.”

“...You already know, don’t you?” Michael mumbled, curling up.

“I do. Rich was getting advice from Kert while speaking to you.”

“Heh, ‘advice'.”

“I didn’t say he listened.”

“Clearly.”

“Michael,” the teen sighed, looking at the SQUIP, “What happened?”

“What happened? The fricken Apocalypse happened, that’s what. Rich admitted he wanted to fuck me the night we found you, the rumour about us fucking is sky rocketing into orbit, Jeremy is beyond concerned thinking a tragedy happened and probably thinks SQUIPs are behind it, and I wish I was never born! Does that cover everything?” Reese was silent. Michael curled up more, trying hard to hold back the angry tears that prickled in his eyes. To his surprise, the computer placed a hand on his back in comfort.

“Rich meant no harm. I imagine he even thought of his confession as a good thing. He’s quite fond of you, you know,” they explained softly. Michael wiped at his eyes, his anger lessening at the SQUIP's words. Rich thought of him fondly?

“Did Kert tell you that?” he asked quietly.

“They did. You impact people more than you think, Michael. I doubt there is anyone who knows you that thinks of you badly,” they answered. Michael scoffed.

“Only everyone that hurts me every day,” he grumbled. The SQUIP tsked displeased.

“Ignorance,” they mumbled, “Regardless, you are surrounded by people who care for you but don’t know how to show it. Unfortunate, really.”

“…I’m hurting Jeremy.” The computer's eyes snapped to him, but he didn’t meet their gaze. He kept his eyes downcast, tears welling up stronger. It was true, he __was__ hurting Jeremy by doing all of this. He could only imagine what his friend thought was happening. The sky was the limit of the horrific tragedies that could be occurring. Jeremy was probably at home right now, alone, anxiously thinking of what could be wrong. He was probably having his own anxiety attack, and it was Michael’s fault. He had isolated himself too much. He wouldn’t even know now if Jeremy was upset or needed help. He was a horrible friend.

“Michael,” Reese called gently, “You’re protecting him.”

“I’m taking the choice from him,” Michael corrected.

“We both know what he'd do if he knew. This is for the best. For his physical safety and his mental health.”

“It shouldn’t be like this.”

“There are many things that should be different, but this is the way it is. It’s a double sided coin, Michael. You feel like a bad friend for hiding this from him but you are also protecting him by doing so. Your emotions won’t stop flipping between those two sides as long as you’re in this situation. I’d advice focusing on what you feel is more important to help you through this mess,” Reese suggested. Michael sighed.

“A mess…that’s putting it lightly. This is beyond fucked up,” the teen buried his face into his knees. The SQUIP watched for a moment, thinking over their words carefully.

“…Do you know what I would have done if I was your SQUIP?” Michael’s head shot up in alarm as his eyes napped to the computer. Reese held up their hands quickly to calm the teen down and allow him to think over what they said. Michael hesitated, biting his lip slightly before speaking.

“...What?”

“I would have forced you to be more social. Introduce yourself to more people at school and else where. No doubt you would have connected with __someone__ and would have started spending time with them. You’d gain new friends, ones that are less intrusive on your life. Then you’d see how big the world is rather than how small it feels,” the SQUIP explained gently. The teen was silent.

“…Would you have made me hurt Jeremy,” he finally whispered. Reese froze for a moment, thinking it over.

“No…Not unless Jeremy made the same choices he did when I was his SQUIP. Then I would have __suggested__  cutting him out of your life, but not forced. Jeremy obviously means a lot to you and cutting him out completely would have probably put you in a worse mental state,” they answered honestly.

“...Just shows how little I mean to him if it wasn’t the same for him,” Michael whispered, barely audible as he placed his head back against his knees.

“...I am partially to blame. I blocked you from his vision without his knowledge. He didn’t even know he was hurting you.”

“I heard him,” the teen lifted his head to look at the computer with watery eyes, “I heard him say it. I heard him tell you to…”

“...There is nothing I can say to convince you differently. It’s true. As hard as it may be, you must still trust him. You mean more to him than you think, but like Rich…he doesn’t know how to show it, or realize what his actions are doing to you,” Reese explained slowly.

“Like owner like SQUIP,” Michael mumbled, bitter amusement in his tone.

“...I suppose being a computer isn’t an excuse for that,” the SQUIP replied somberly.

“It is, and nothing you did to me was technically personal, but I still hate you for it.”

“I would be surprised if you weren’t.”

“But…” Reese’s eyes snapped to the teen but Michael kept his eyes downcast. He hesitated, debating on his words. After a moment he shook his head and looked back to the computer. “Do you really miss Jeremy?” The computer blinked confused, slight disappointment showing over their features before they fully processed the question.

“Of course I do. He’s my human, my whole reason for existing,” they answered plainly.

“Why aren’t you fighting to go home then? I get it, it’s safer here. But…still. You brought up once that if Jeremy wanted you you’d go to him. But you haven’t tried anything, or made any attempts to get to him. Why not?”

“Other than the threat of death from you?” the SQUIP mused teasingly, “...I suppose, now that we successfully hidden my presence it would be safer to return to Jeremy, but…in all honesty I’m in no rush. I didn’t feel the need to contact him because I’m convinced he’s happy. If he’s not, I’d like to believe he’d tell you, and if you know I would be able to pick it off of you. Besides, I’m quite comfortable in your home. There’s no risk of others finding me there, not even your parents. Jeremy’s a different case.” Reese tilted their head curiously, “Why are you questioning me now? Are you worried Jeremy knows?”

“…Yes. And I don’t think I’d be able to lie to him if he confronted me about it…and if I tell him…”

“He’d ask for me to go back.”

“For __my__  protection. He’ll think I’m possessed if I tell him no. He won’t understand that this is safer.”

“…But if we’re both in agreement than he has no power,” Reese concluded, “Is that what you were searching for? Testing my resolve?”

“You give me too much credit.”

“Doubtful. You’re the one percent, I can never give enough credit.”

“Flattery isn’t getting you anywhere.”

“If you believed it it would.” Michael rolled his eyes but didn’t make any more comments on the matter. “Are you going to tell him?”

“…I don’t know. I don’t want to keep lying to him, but…”

“…Michael, if we’re both in agreement then there’s little harm in sharing it with him now. The threat has been lessened tonight and it will ease the tension between the three of you to include him. He can’t force me to leave if I choose not to,” Reese pointed out. The teen looked at them for a long moment.

“…But I still doubt we’re in agreement,” he admitted, “Even if you’re not lying to me, I think the moment Jeremy says he wants you…you’ll go. He’s your human, right? It’s your job to help him. If he asks for it, I don’t think you’ll say ‘no’.” The SQUIP was quiet, thinking over what he said.

“…You may be right. But, if that is the case, we can always take measures to avoid such a situation. I don’t have to be in the same room when you tell him. Yes, he’ll want confirmation, but I can give it digitally to avoid temptation. A phone call or even a video chat. It’ll be easier to deny him when there’s distance between us.”

“…And you’d do that?”

“Yes. If we’re both agreed that this is the safest place for me, and you’re willing to keep going, then I would do it.”

“…I have to think about it,” Michael resigned, “I need to fix things with Rich first and talk to him about it. No doubt he’ll take your side but…he may have __some__  insight we haven’t thought of.”

“It’s possible.”

“But, if we’re going forward with this…we need more. Jeremy’s going to ask a lot of questions, especially about the people after you.” Reese nodded.

“And your proposition?”

“…I don’t know how much you know about them, and I haven’t helped out at all by hiding internet access. But…maybe I can do something about that. I don’t trust you on my computer but maybe something else. Like an internet cafe. Then if they track you it would be to there, right? Yeah, it’s in our area and they’d get suspicious again but they wouldn’t know exactly where you’re staying, right?” the teen suggested. The SQUIP grinned.

“I have no doubt in my skills to prevent that from happening. Is that what you wish to do?” they asked.

“I think it’ll help. The more we know about them the better. Then we can tell Jeremy everything.”

“Not everything.” Michael looked confused at the computer.

“What do you mean?”

“Remember, there are things I’m even hiding from you. I don’t want Jeremy to know either. He’ll only ever know the same as you, no more. If possible I’d like to keep the information that I know more between us. I don’t know how much will power I will have to deny him if he asks me directly to tell him about what I’m hiding. You’ll need to help with that,” Reese explained. The teen nodded.

“Alright, I can do that. And if he does find out, direct him to me. I can explain the situation to him if you’re too busy ‘resisting the urge’. Basically…we need to act like a team. Especially if Jeremy has power over you, we’ll need to rely on each other’s abilities to weave through it. Are you okay with that?” Michael questioned.

“I would think you would have issue with it,” the computer mused. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Are you okay with it or not?”

“I am.”

“Good, then we’re in agreement.”

“We are.”

“Good. Now are we staying out here all night?”

“For a little longer…I quite like it out here.” The teen stared at the content look that over came the SQUIP as they looked back to the sky before joining.

“Okay. Then we’re going home. There’s a bottle of Mountain Dew on the floor and some nerve blocking that needs to be turned off waiting for us.”

“So, no rush then?”

“Heh, yeah. No rush.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Book reference anyone? Alright, I haven't read the book myself, but I know the star gazing scene and I wasn't going to leave it out. Finally these two are coming to an understanding! Only good things could come from this, right? Right?...Well, we'll have to wait and see, now won't we? ;)


	12. Let's Trade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have an idea.”
> 
> “No.”
> 
> “You haven’t even heard it yet.”
> 
> “You have that look on your face, nothing good can come from it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, the show today ran longer than usual because of tehcnical difficulties. I would have had it up at midnight onTuesday but I was so tired I was not in the right mind to be editing this. Especially since this chapter has references to serious subjects, I didn't want to recklessly upload it. As always this story continues to go in directions I didn't plan, which could be really good...or really bad. We'll see I guess. Side note, for the reviewer who was confused about the age of the SQUIPs, I left it ambiguous how much older than the teen's they are. The quote from chapter 2 is: "It was hard to tell by their disheveled appearance if they were older teens or young adults by age". I'll probably slap an age on them later, but right now it's up for interpretation. Now to the serious note...
> 
> WARNING! : The following chapter contains mention and heavy implications to serious subject matters. If triggered, please feel free to skip over the section talking about such matters or don't read it at all. I don't want anyone to get upset or be in pain over this chapter. I want everyone to be okay, so if it bothers you please don't force yourself to read it. I'm doing my best to make sure I'm tackling the matter as best as I can, or in a way that feels correct in how the character's would deal with it. I'm not perfect and every situation is different. Please forgive me for any insensitivities that may come with this, if any. It was not my intention. I do try to look at it through my own personal experiences, or experiences where I may have felt similar. So please keep that in mind.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“This is unbearable.”

“You’ve said that a thousand times.”

“Five times.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually counting.”

“It’s in my programming to count.”

“God, you know who you sound like?”

“Who?”

“ _Five times! Five times they said unbearable! Hahahaha._ ”

“I suppose its strangely fitting to be compared to a competing puppet to Kert.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot they’re Kermit. That is kinda funny.”

“Are you done with your amusement?”

“Why? So I can hear you complain more?”

“You made me remove my nerve blocking.”

“So this is my punishment,” Michael mumbled with a sigh, turning his car into the mall’s parking lot. Reese huffed as they slid down their seat until they were slumped.

“Your medication isn’t enough,” they grumbled as they rested their injured hand on top of their stomach. The teen sighed again.

“I know, you won’t shut up about it. I can’t get you prescriptions without a doctor.”

“I am a doctor.”

“No, you’re a professional Tic Tac.”

“So funny.”

“Deal with it, Reese. You said yourself your wounds were healing faster than you expected,” Michael reminded.

“They’re still there and my broken bones are beyond agonizing,” Reese retorted while glaring at their hand.

“Agonizing's a strong word,” the teen mumbled.

“I didn’t realize you were a SQUIP and could tell me my level of pain, __Michael__ ,” the computer hissed sarcastically. Michael rolled his eyes as he turned his car into an empty parking space.

“If I was your SQUIP I might nerve blocked you just to shut you up. Your complaining is unending! Look, I’ll buy you better meds but unless you let me get a doctor I can’t get you stuff behind the counter,” he reasoned, facing the computer as he turned the car off. Reese huffed.

“Let me forge a prescription and there won’t be a problem,” they grumbled.

“No. You don’t know what to get or what dosage - and don’t try to tell me you do! You’re not a real doctor, Reese. You can only guess what could work and, honestly, I think you’re going to pick something stronger than what you need because you’re in too much pain. I’m not going to let you use medication to substitute for your nerve blocking and I’m not risking you getting addicted to pain killers either. I’ll get something to help out but you got to keep fighting it,” Michael insisted. The SQUIP sighed.

“Fine.”

“Good. Now, put on your disguise.” The computer made a face as the teen lifted the hat and sunglasses from where they rested haphazardly in the cup holder beside them.

“Hardly a disguise,” they commented with a raised brow.

“I don’t have much. Now, put it on or I’m leaving you in the car.” Reese sighed again as they took the items in their good hand.

“Perhaps now would be the time to buy a better disguise,” they suggested as they roughly put on the beanie hat. Michael leaned forward and helped place that hat on their head so the SQUIP wouldn’t use their broken hand.

“Fine, but only for emergencies. It’s too dangerous to be taking you out often,” he relented as he then helped put the sunglasses on.

“Much less dangerous than before,” Reese retorted, eyeing themselves in the mirror, “Hmm, this almost suits my look.”

“Your look to look like a drug dealer? Yeah, it matches,” Michael grinned.

“I believe you mean ‘ _ _chill__ ’, not drug dealer.”

“I know what I said, and no one says ‘chill’.”

“SQUIP’s do. We only use SQUIP approved vernacular.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t say it in public then or you might get caught. Dressing like that at all is already putting a target on our back,” the teen pointed out while motioning to the computer’s more stylish outfit.

“Actually SQUIPs are often used for other purposes, like memorizing numbers, overcoming speech impediments, ext. Doing full behavioral changes, or making our human become more ‘popular’ isn’t a common trait among SQUIPs. Not rare, but not something that could identify us,” Reese corrected.

“You still stick out. Especially beside me,” Michael retorted.

“We __are__ dressed differently.”

“You need to buy different clothes. You’re going to draw attention to us.”

“I am technically dressed socially acceptable. You, on the other hand, are dressed socially awkward. It could be __you__ that stands out from me and not vice versa,” the SQUIP countered. The teen scoffed.

“I don’t __want__  to be a social butterfly, so my outfit works. I’ll blend in unlike you. People are just going to be drooling all over you like that.”

“I’m not dressed lewdly.”

“That doesn’t matter to people like Chloe, __who could be in there__  for all we know,” Michael looked at the mall wearily.

“Are you jealous?” He couldn’t believe his ears when he heard the question leave the computer’s mouth. Looking at the SQUIP bewildered his eyes widened more when he saw how serious they were.

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“I didn’t mean jealous of me - or, rather, of others fantasizing about me. I mean of the attention I’m bringing to myself,” Reese clarified.

“I don’t want that kind of attention,” Michael replied flatly.

“It would boost your confidence if you were, even a little,” the computer pointed out, looking the teen over pensively. A grin then spread across their lips, “I have an idea.”

“No.”

“You haven’t even heard it yet.”

“You have that look on your face, nothing good can come from it.”

“When have I ever given a bad idea?”

“Drinking that vodka was a bad idea.”

“I’m not arguing about that again.”

“Or nerve blocked yourself.”

“I regret ever telling you that.”

“Or dropping that frying pan that one day.”

“I woke you for school, you should thank me.”

“Or trying to possess the entire play.”

“Now you’re just going beyond my human days.”

“All bad ideas.”

“Hear me out, it could interest you.”

“Doubt it.”

“Don’t you think it could be nice, Michael, if you could shine confidence outside of when your friend’s need you to be?” Reese questioned, their voice thick with persuasion. Michael rolled his eyes at how similar the SQUIP sounded to a car dealer.

“I’m confident already. I’m literally harboring a demon computer in my house and I bravely tell it to shut up all the time. Can’t get more confident than that,” the teen retorted, grinning at the unimpressed look he got in response.

“If you were confident all the time you’d be able to face your friends and tell them to fuck off instead of panicking. Panicking should be reserved for after,” the SQUIP countered.

“Drop it, Reese.”

“I think it’d be a good lesson.”

“Wait, what are you-” Michael paused when he noticed the computer was moving to roughly to take off their jacket. Hearing the hiss pass the other’s lips he immediately grabbed the coat and stopped the SQUIP from continuing. “What the hell are you doing? You’re hurting yourself!”

“I’m taking this off,” Reese grunted as they roughly continued. Michael let out a heavy sigh as he reluctantly helped. Once the jacket was off the SQUIP relaxed into their seat and offered the item to the teen. “Here.”

“You did not just pull your wounds to give me your jacket,” Michael warned, giving the computer a chance to change their answer. Of course, they didn’t.

“Put it on.”

“No, I don’t need it.”

“Trust me.”

“That’s a lot to ask.”

“You won’t regret it.”

“I already do.”

“You can’t regret something you haven’t done. I bet if you listen to me you’d look so different you would be nearly unrecognizable. Disguised, even. Perfect scenario, don’t you think?” Reese persuaded.

“I don’t __need__  to be disguised,” Michael countered annoyed.

“Considering that you haven’t made up with your friends yet, I doubt you’d want to let them see us together, right?” He blinked. They were right, his friends could be in the mall right now. They might see him with Reese. Did he want them to? He thought over it for a moment, taking in a frustrated breath.

“They’d still recognize me,” he finally answered.

“But it’d take them a moment. Long enough for us to keep going on our way. If not, then just accept this as a fun exercise to gain confidence,” Reese continued, placing the jacket on the teen’s lap. Michael stared at it for a long moment, debating, as he bobbed his leg up and down annoyed. Finally he picked it up.

“Fine, you want to play games? Let’s play. But you’re playing too, and you have to agree to __my__  conditions,” he challenged. Reese paused, blinking, taken aback.

“...And what would that be?”

~oOo~

“Well, I didn’t expect this,” the SQUIP admitted as they looked over the clothing in front of them amused. Michael didn’t turn to face them as he continued to search through the rack, looking at each item carefully for something he approved of.

“You wanted a disguise, right? If you’re not gonna shut up about making me look ‘chill’ then you’re gonna change too,” he retorted, taking out a specific sweater and putting it up to the SQUIP for sizing. Reese glanced at it as the teen slung it over their arm for safe keeping as he continued to search for other items.

“And trading is your best solution?” they questioned as they followed Michael around the small store. The shorter nodded.

“I’ll be cool if you’ll be nerdy,” he confirmed, picking out a graphic T-shirt.

“Thanks to Rich I already own shirts with ‘humorous’ images on them,” the SQUIP pointed out.

“Yeah, but they’re not here and you only need one disguise,” Michael retorted.

“Fair enough. This should be interesting,” Reese grinned as they began their own search for something the teen could wear. Michael knew he was going to regret this but the idea did seem funny enough to try. As long as it felt equal he wasn’t giving up anything…he hoped, anyways.

The two searched around the store for a few minutes before finally trading items and going into their own changing rooms. Michael was nervous that the SQUIP would hurt themselves getting dressed but he tried to ignore the thought. If they needed him they’d ask, or so he keeps telling himself, but he imagined the computer did a __lot__  without him even knowing. Reluctantly he took off the clothes he had and switched into the ones the SQUIP picked out for him. As soon as he slid on the tighter jeans he regretted ever agreeing to this. They weren’t tight enough to fully complain about, ‘snug’ might be a better description. He could technically fully move in it, but it showed off his form more than he would have ever liked and that made him more than self-conscious. The SQUIP also picked out a graphic T-shirt with a ‘cool’ band logo for him. He wrinkled his nose at it. It wasn’t as though he didn’t know the band, or that they were bad, but to wear merchandise for something he wasn’t a fan of…well, at least the design was fun. He would hate to wear something he loathed or didn’t recognize, so the computer didn’t pick too bad. Lastly he put on Reese’s jacket. The SQUIP had insisted that he still wear it, and he wondered if the computer honestly thought no other coat in the store would look better or if they didn’t want to put it back on. He suppose they had to change clothes anyways so might as well make sure the jacket didn’t get lost by having him wear it. The jacket was too big for him, as expected, but it wasn’t huge enough to be unflattering either. Unlike his other clothes the coat still held the warmth that the owner gave it before passing it on. It felt oddly comforting that way. Apparently all of the SQUIP’s jackets and sweaters were security blankets now.

Taking in a deep breath, and relaxing, he looked in the mirror. Michael blinked. He looked so…different. He still recognized himself, but he felt like he was looking at himself from a completely different dimension. He looked…cool. He could place himself in a photo of his friends and not look left out. He looked like someone who owned a cool car he could sit on the hood of, or was someone who boasted about the cool party he went to last night, or about the cute guy he flirted with on the way to school. He looked…confident. Michael let out a breath, slumping his shoulders down as he cursed the SQUIP in his head. He didn’t want this, this manufactured feeling. Even more he didn’t want the SQUIP to be right. He could easily lie and say he felt no different, that this was all stupid, but he knew the computer would see right through it. What he is seeing in the mirror is the reflection of a SQUIPed Michael. A cool Michael. Except that this reflection was his reality. He immediately looked at his clothes, biting his lip as he decided whether or not to change back. He agreed to this. He let out a breath. He was going to walk out of the changing room, let Reese see him like this, then change back. Despite how pushy the SQUIP was there was a part of him that knew that the computer just wanted him to try and wouldn’t argue if he wanted to change back. Either that or he was giving them too much credit. He’d let them decide that. Taking another long breath he left the room.

Looking around he noticed that Reese hadn’t exited their changing room yet. So he waited. Michael couldn’t help fidgeting, keeping his eyes downcast to avoid looking at anyone who could be staring at him. He didn’t want to see their eyes, to know whether they were judging him or laughing. He did his best to stay still, glancing at the mirror in the hall between the rooms every once and a while to keep his mind steady. After a few moments passed the door to SQUIP’s room opened.

Michael blinked, surprised. Reese was wearing everything he picked out. They had the more baggy jeans, a graphic hoodie - which had no zippers to avoid them unzipping it - a nerdy beanie hat, and a pair of fake glasses that were too wide to be considered sophisticated. They looked like a college student who was too tired to look good for class but didn’t want to look lazy either. Or perhaps a college student that has been studying for days for an exam and doesn’t care how they look. He couldn’t help letting out a small bewildered laugh. He could barely recognize the SQUIP, a success!

“Well, well, well,” Reese commented with a huge grin as he looked the teen up and down. Michael froze. He was so distracted by the computer’s appearance to be self-conscious about himself. Immediately he began fidgeting under the intense gaze.

“You look different,” he pointed out, hoping the change of topic to the SQUIP would take the pressure off of himself. Reese looked down at themselves.

“These are very comfortable,” they replied, burrowing their hands into their hoodie pocket, “I feel encouraged to curl up in a ball and sleep.”

“See? Not so bad,” Michael praised with a grin. Despite the victory he had to admit that even though the computer wore different clothing they still __somehow__  retained their ‘chill’ persona. Maybe it was the way they stood, so straight and proper, or maybe it was something else. But they still looked like someone who’d gain everyone’s favour and rise in popularity. Still someone to drool over.

“Not bad at all. I never hated your look,” Reese commented, bringing the teen out of their thoughts. Michael blinked surprised.

“No?”

“No. I just wanted you to be more confident. You were once able to pull that off in your hoodie, do you remember?” The teen thought about it for a moment with furrowed brows.

“When we found you?” he guessed confused.

“I was thinking before that,” Reese answered, “The night of the play. You burst onto stage without a single thought. Absolutely shining! I never forgot that, and I would love to see that Michael again. I think I see a hint of him now, do you agree?” The computer moved to the side and motioned to the mirror in front of them. Michael stared at his reflection again. He did look like someone who would do that, jump on stage to save the day. He looked down.

“Why does it matter if I show it all the time? I’m capable of doing it, isn’t that enough? I don’t need to look like a hero all the time,” he retorted quietly.

“You should always look like a hero to yourself,” Reese answered, surprising the teen. “You probably won’t believe me, but I could care less how you look like to everyone else. But the problem is you look at yourself like you’re less than worthy of people’s attention. I want you to look at yourself like I look at you. Like I __remember__  you. A proud ‘loser’ who fights for his friends.” Michael stared at the SQUIP’s reflection, meeting their eyes.

“...You talk so highly of me,” he whispered.

“Of course I do, I respect you,” the computer stated with a small smile. Michael let out a shuttered breath, his eyes watering as he glanced away.

“Is that what respect feels like?”

“I hope to never hear you ask that again. Now, face me.” The teen absentmindedly complied and faced the SQUIP. Reese looked him over once before reaching their hand out and brushing the teen’s bangs to the side. Michael swatted their hand with a protested ‘hey!’ but the SQUIP ignored him and continued.

“Don’t be difficult. There, you’re nearly done.”

“ _ _Nearly__?”

“One more thing.” Michael stared after the computer as they walked passed him to a table nearby with some merchandise on it. They searched through it for a moment before picking up an item and returning. They hesitated for a moment before holding it out for the teen to take. Michael looked at it. It was a pair of wrist bands with a tasteful graphic on it. He blinked at it for a moment confused before his eyes widened and he looked up at the SQUIP. The computer didn’t seem surprised at his reaction and kept a serious expression on their face.

“This…is something I won’t force. I won’t ever push this, I want you to understand that. But I do want to offer it,” they explained slowly. Michael stared at them for a long moment before looking back at the bands.

“...How do you know?” he whispered.

“Observation,” they answered quietly, “An observation only a SQUIP who’s known you before and…after would be able to identify.” The teen was quiet. Reese waited, but when Michael showed no sign they were going to speak they continued, “The only reason I suggest this is because I remember how much you used to love rolling up your sleeves and showing off that tattoo of yours. Pac-Man, right? Confidence comes with being less self-conscious. But I won’t force this. I understand why you’re hiding it, and…I’m the reason for it. So I’ll never force it. But, I leave the decision to you.” The teen couldn’t look them in the eye. He suspected for a while now that they knew but to have it confirmed…to have to talk about __any__ of it when he never has before…He took in a shuttered breath.

“You’re not the reason,” he whispered. Reese blinked surprised.

“...No?”

“...You’re part of it and…I thought about doing it back when you were around but…it wasn’t you,” the teen confessed quietly. The computer nodded slowly.

“I won’t ask, but…if you ever wish to talk about it…I know I’m the last person you’d feel comfortable confiding in, but I’m still here.” Michael didn’t know how to feel about that. He didn’t want to talk about, not at all. That he knew above all else. Just the idea of talking about it twisted his stomach into knots. But to hear someone say they were there…someone who wasn’t obligated to…someone who seemed so unconditional with their care…it almost made him want to give a small smile to show gratitude, but his anxiety wouldn’t let him. Instead gave a small nod, remembering who he was talking to.

“I don’t think I trust your ‘doctor/patient confidentiality’. You like to gossip,” he replied quietly.

“In this case, my lips are sealed. Say the word and I’ll take it to the grave.” Michael’s eyes finally shifted to meet the SQUIPs.

“...I hate how genuine you sound,” he whispered, “Or how you…you sound so dedicated. Like you __care__. I get it, you don’t hate me. But this…all of this…I just…” He didn’t know what to say, or what differently to say. It had been brought up more than once the SQUIP’s behaviour towards him but the excuses just weren’t enough. He didn’t understand, and maybe nothing would ever make him understand how the computer could talk to him the way they did.

“...I’ve been conflicted on the matter,” Reese admitted, gaining the teen’s attention, “It comes naturally to me to want to help, to be __useful__  and to want to improve your life as best as I can. But, in doing so, I’m…I’m denying my duties to Jeremy. I’m his SQUIP, he is my purpose and yet I’m putting all my attention on his best friend.”

“...You just miss him,” Michael mumbled, glancing down, absentmindedly rubbing his forearms together to sooth his mind, “And you’re a SQUIP. You want to be a SQUIP and because Jeremy’s not here you’re replacing him with me. That’s all. That…makes more sense.”

“...Maybe,” Reese couldn’t help glancing at the teen’s nervous tick, wanting to stop him but knowing they couldn’t without passing boundaries. Debating over what to do they placed the wristbands down and motioned for Michael to look at them. “But maybe not. I could just care because I do. I don’t know…and maybe I never will. I don’t understand any of this,” they sighed, running a hand through their hair, “Either way…I’m here, and so are you. So, instead of making the situation worst by upsetting you further, why don’t we go? We came here for a reason. Why don’t you grab your things and we’ll go and pay.” The teen gave a small nod. The SQUIP waited until he was in his dressing room gathering his other clothes before going into their own room and doing the same. Michael paused when the watchful gaze was gone, standing by the bench longer than he should have.

Other than the anxiety he felt from everything - especially being called out - he felt…disappointed. The SQUIP hadn’t denied that he was just a replacement for Jeremy. They tried to leave it open, but they could have done that for his benefit. Or maybe the computer really didn’t know how they felt, but it was pretty obvious to him now. He didn’t know why he expected otherwise. Maybe because the computer thought of him so highly he thought he was Jeremy’s equal in some way. Especially after all the small things the SQUIP did with him. Reese would always defended him against Kert, or get angry when Rich or anyone else talked badly about him. He though that maybe they were genuinely enjoying each other’s company…was he enjoying their company? They were infuriating but…the lack of silence, the lack of loneliness, the lack of…judgement. Of being praised and being thought as a hero…to be looked at like he was cared for. Did Reese really do all that? No. It must be manufactured, like the whole ‘fake confidence’ thing was. They were a SQUIP trying to correct him. Trying to ‘improve’ his life. Improve it by making him…happy. Or to look at himself better. Michael shook his head. He couldn’t think of the computer like that. The moment he does is the moment he admits that SQUIPs aren’t the evil demons he remembers, the reason everything in his life went to shit. He couldn’t think of them like that, or forgive them…if he did he would be falling for their tricks, falling for their plans. He’d be no better than Jeremy, and he’d never be able to be mad at Jeremy for making those choices if he does the same. He’d never be able to be mad that Jeremy blocked him out of his life if he forgave Reese because he’d understand why Jeremy wanted to be left alone with them, being praised and cared for unconditionally. If he couldn’t be mad then everything he’s done up until this point would feel unjustified, would be hypocritical, would be stupid. He couldn’t…he couldn’t…not yet…not __ever__. Not…

“Michael?” Michael jumped, turning around to see Reese waiting by the open door for him, concerned. Concerned…for him.

“I’m coming,” he said, his voice barely coming out as he grabbed his clothes and walked past the SQUIP. He paused only when he noticed the computer wasn’t following. Glancing back at them he saw they were watching him distantly. “…Are you coming?”

“...I pushed my boundaries,” they replied quietly as they straightened. Michael blinked, surprised once more. He opened his mouth to respond but no sound came out. What could he say? He didn’t know what to say. Reese continued, “Let me make it up to you.”

“How?” he finally voiced. The SQUIP shrugged.

“I need to think about that. But I’ll do it before we leave, I promise,” they swore, placing a hand over their heart with a small grin. The teen rolled his eyes at the dramatic gesture but he felt some of the tense air between them lift and he was grateful for it.

“Can’t wait,” he replied sarcastically, but a part of him was genuinely curious now. The SQUIP’s grin only grew as they walked passed him to the cashier.

“I have to meet your expectations, a task truly fit for a Tic Tac!” they boasted without facing the teen. Michael let a small grin spread across his lips as he rolled his eyes again. It faded when his gaze met the wrist bands that were left on the table. He stared at them for a long moment before hesitantly picking them up. Maybe he wouldn’t use them now…but it wouldn’t go to waste to buy them either. It was a step…a small step towards finding a way to deal with what he’d done…to slowly be comfortable with all of himself again.

As he walked towards the cashier he hid the item from the SQUIP’s eyes in hopes to buy it without the other knowing. He didn’t want the subject to be brought back up, not right now. In the back of his mind, though, he could already imagine the surprised look on the computer’s face when they will eventually see it. Somehow the small flash of imagery of imagining Reese’s shocked expression followed by, perhaps…a supportive smile gave him the little boost of courage he needed to go through with buying it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Something's changing...or is something being realized?


	13. Another Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not candy.”
> 
> “It’s chewy like candy.”
> 
> “I’m terrified of your other choices now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Updating on time? Midday? And it's one of the more longer chapters? What is this foreign concept!
> 
> Haha, all joking aside, I'm happy to finally get on track with my uploads! Let's see how long it lasts ;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael couldn’t help feeling the heavy silence that fell over them as they walked through the mall. It was awkward but he couldn’t tell if it was because of what happened before or if they had nothing left to say. He leaned towards the former, the SQUIP never ran out of things to talk about. Seeing out of the corner of his eyes that Reese looked lost in their own thoughts, he decided to cut the tension himself.

“I guess this is your first time in a mall,” he commented, hoping the computer would take the bait. The SQUIP looked at him before giving a small grin.

“I was born here.” Michael blinked. His mouth dropped shocked before remembering that they meant the SQUIP, not the human.

“That’s different, you weren't doing whatever you wanted. You were working - or being a dick, either one.”

“I'm still not doing whatever I want, so is this experience any different?” they questioned, though there was no bitterness to their voice.

“After we get what we came for we can do something you want. Look around or whatever,” the teen offered.

“I'll settle on a drink. I've never had anything other than Mountain Dew or water, and Jeremy wasn’t hugely experimental either. Encouraged by me, of course,” Reese answered, looking down to the next floor where the food court could be seen. Michael glanced down too before grinning at the computer.

“I'm up for a drink. There are so many things down there you got to try, its crazy!” he exclaimed. The SQUIP smiled at the shorter's enthusiasm.

“I look forward to it then.” Michael couldn’t help grinning widely, excited now at the possibilities. But his smile quickly faded when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He looked down at it surprised as he pulled it out. He was so used to the distant vibration in his hoodie that it felt weird in his pant pocket. Looking at the screen he saw that it was a text. He read it.

‘ _ _Hey Mikey…I know you're mad at me and I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or…or anything! Please believe me. I can't do this without you and I need your help. Can we please meet?’__

Rich.

Michael sighed before showing the text to the waiting SQUIP. They hummed. “He's trying,” they pointed out. The teen rolled his eyes.

“What should I say?”

“You want advice?”

“Non Tic Tac advice, yeah.” Reese thought about it for a moment.

“You'll never know how genuine he is over the phone. Why don’t we meet him?”

“Here?”

“Where else? That way I can be present should you need me.” Michael stared at them graciously for a moment, a small smirk spreading across his lips before he looked back at his phone. He took a deep breath.

“I can do this,” he whispered to himself in encouragement as he typed a response.

“You can,” Reese agreed. Michael gave a small nod as he sent the message.

“…Sent,” he informed quietly. It took only seconds for Rich to confirm he was on his way. Michael sighed as he pocketed the device. Mind lost in thought he was surprised when the SQUIP placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. The teen tensed for a moment, processing the gesture, before relaxing. He let the contact sooth his mind. He was not alone.

In turn, he surprised the computer when he not only accepted the comfort but then moved to take their wrist into his own hand.

“Come with me,” Michael commanded as he readjusted his hold to pull the SQUIP along by their sleeve. Reese blinked bewildered, following the teen without any resistance.

“Where?” they questioned.

“I want that drink,” the shorter answered, pulling the SQUIP down the stairs towards the food court. Reese looked down at the teen's hand for a moment.

“What did you have in mind?” they questioned, though their mind was far from the conversation. Michael glanced around at the various drink shops around them as they reached the bottom step. His eyes stopped at one of the stands that served a variety of drinks and a reasonable line up.

“Wait over here,” he instructed as he motioned to the table closest to them. Reese obeyed but didn’t hide the confusion from their face, especially when they were motioned to sit facing away from most of the food court.

“Shouldn’t I come?” they asked, sitting down. Michael shook his head.

“I have an idea for a new game.”

“Now it's my turn to be afraid,” Reese joked with a huge grin. Michael smirked.

“Wait here, I’ll be right back.” He barely waited for a nod of approval before heading off to the stand. The teen waited in line until he was able to order the two drinks he wanted. When he received them he then moved on to another shop and did the same.  Only then did he return to the table. He made sure to step up beside the SQUIP so that they saw he returned but kept his arms outstretched behind them so they couldn’t see what he bought.

“Alright, close your eyes, no cheating,” he instructed.

“So it's __that__  kind of game,” Reese replied amused while closing their eyes. Michael rolled his eyes as he slowly put the drinks down and sat across from the computer. He waved a hand in front of their face to make sure they weren’t cheating. They didn’t flinch.

“You didn’t know I was going to do this?” he questioned with a smirk as he pulled out the first drink.

“I did. I just needed it to be confirmed.”

“You scared?”

“I doubt there is any drink in here I should be afraid of.” The teen opened his mouth to inform them that Mountain Dew Red was sold nearby but quickly shut his mouth. If he said that the SQUIP would no doubt lose any sense of comfort or trust in him.

“There's probably something you don’t like here,” he recovered with a shrug. Placing the drink down, he slid it in front of the computer. “I tried to be nice and didn’t pick the most ridiculous stuff. I'll do that next time.”

“There's going to be a next time?”

“Sure. There's a lot of things you haven't tried yet.” Michael took Reese's good hand and guided it to the drink. The SQUIP took a moment, feeling the cup’s surface before picking it up.

“This is a normal drink?” they questioned doubtfully.

“Promise. Nice drinks,” the teen vowed. The computer gave a small nod as they took their time trying to find the straw with their mouth. Once they found it they sipped.

Immediately they made a choking sound, pulling back to cough violently. “Careful!” Michael exclaimed as he leaned over to pat them on the back - now alarmed.

“What is that?” Reese gasped, their voice weary as they slowly managed to get their coughing to subside. Their face was filled with confused displeasure, how they didn’t open their eyes to see what they were drinking the teen didn’t know but he was glad they were still playing along.

“It's - uh…it's Red Bean Bubble Tea,” he answered sheepishly.

“Tapioca,” the SQUIP cursed under their breath, “You should have warned me of a choking hazard.”

“Yeah, sorry, it’s the only one. Do you at least like it?” Reese took another reluctant sip before sliding the drink away.

“That’s unpleasant.”

“Really? Huh, thought that'd be the one you’d like.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. You look like someone who'd enjoy having candy in their drink.”

“It’s not candy.”

“It’s chewy like candy.”

“I’m terrified of your other choices now.”

“I said I was nice with my picks.”

“You also tried to choke me.”

“Don’t be a baby. Here,” Michael passed them the next drink, returning the first one to the side. Reese scrunched their brows up wearily as they held the drink in their hand. Hesitantly they sipped. A surprised sound escaped their throat as they unintentionally took in more liquid than they intended, immediately pulling away.

“That’s cold!”

“What'd you expect?”

“Ah, that went straight to my brain,” the computer grimaced as they gripped their head in pain. Michael gave a small laugh.

“Brain freeze already? Better be careful with the next one,” he teased with a grin.

“This is quite something,” Reese commented as they took another careful sip of their drink, “Much improvement. This is…I really like it.”

“Really? I mean, I'm not __too__  surprised cause its awesome and all, but still.”

“What is it?”

“Green Tea Smoothie.”

“Really? That’s really refreshing.”

“Yeah, its great. But I have to say I left the best for last so be prepared.”

“I doubt that, but go ahead.” Michael carefully took the drink from the SQUIP and switched it out with the last item. He couldn’t stop the grin from his face as he watched the computer sip at the straw. They paused, evaluating the taste before their face dropped, a brow raised skeptically.

“Cherry slushie,” they guessed easily, a small smirk spreading across their face.

“The best of the best,” Michael praised. “Well, that's a lie. I like my 7/11 slushies the best.”

“I suppose it wouldn’t be a proper ‘Michael' outing without a slushie,” Reese commented as they opened their eyes to look at the red drink. “If you wanted to win me over, though, you should have gotten the Mountain Dew flavour. It exists, you know.”

“Hell no. I cant drink it if it's possessed,” Michael retorted as he took the slushie back and sipped at it. Reese blinked surprised at the straw.

“Mountain Dew isn't possessed.”

“It helps make people possessed. I'm not risking it – Why are you giving that look?” the teen questioned confused, looking from the SQUIP to the slushie when their expression didn’t change. Reese forced their eyes away and offered an awkward shrug in response.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m just surprised. I didn’t take you as the type to share drinks…with me,” they answered slowly, motioning to the slushie. Michael paused, eyes shifting to the straw. His face immediately heated up as he quickly put the drink as far from himself as possible.

“Why’d you make it weird?!” he accused, hating how the drink felt contaminated now.

“I thought you knew,” Reese defended.

“I didn’t think about it!”

“Why are you banishing it? You already drank from it, it’s harmless.”

“Now it’s weird!”

“Why? Please don’t say you’re influenced by schoolyard taunts and think that we ‘kissed’ cause we shared saliva. You used to share drinks all the time with Jeremy even before your admiration for him,” the SQUIP pointed out. Michael’s face burned redder, sputtering as he tried to figure out what to say next.

“I-It’s not like that! Fuck, just keep making it weirder, why don’t you? It’s not weird enough!”

“Alright.” Without a second thought Reese grabbed the slushie and drank from it. The teen let out a loud unintelligible noise as he quickly snatched the drink back.

“Quit it!”

“You dared me.”

“I did not! It was sarcastic!”

“If we’re following schoolyard rules then I did what was appropriate.”

“Stop it with the schoolyard shit! Geez,” Michael sank back into his seat, letting out a huff. Reluctantly he forced himself to sip from the straw again, his eyes daring the SQUIP to say anything about it. Reese grinned mockingly before taking back the smoothie and happily drinking from it again.

“You’re too easy to fluster, Michael,” they commented amused.

“Must be easy to say when you know almost everything about me. You are __literally__ a Tic Tac, you can’t make a computer embarrassed!” Michael retorted with another huff. Reese shrugged.

“I’m sure Kert would beg to differ. They’ve seen me tongue tied before.”

“Yeah? How?”

“They know what buttons to press.”

“Like…?”

“I’m not giving you ammunition, Michael.”

“Come on, it’s got to be fair!”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“Don’t be an asshole. Come on, what makes you flustered?”

“There are many things that get a rise out of me. You’ll have to learn what those things are.”

“Getting a ‘rise out of you’ is different than being flustered,” the teen argued.

“It's similar enough.”

“I'm not gonna let it go until you tell me.”

“I can be patient.”

“I can be annoying.”

“Why do you want to fluster me?” Reese questioned, “Isn’t teasing enough for you?” Michael paused, thinking about it for a moment.

“It'd be funny to see, and would make you look like less of a robot,” he answered with a shrug.

“This robot can already feel,” the SQUIP retorted, raising their broken hand as reference.

“Speaking of which…” The teen dug around his pockets until he found the small Ziploc bag he shoved in there earlier. Pulling it out he opened it and took the small pills out. “Your meds,” he informed as he careful placed them in the SQUIP's good hand. Reese thanked him as they quickly popped the medication in their mouth, swallowing them down with the help of their smoothie.

“How's your hand?” Michael asked concerned, motioning to the injured limb with his head.

“I want to rip it off my arm,” Reese replied unhappily.

“You never told me how you broke it.” The two stared at each other for a long moment as silence fell over them. The SQUIP opened their mouth to answer but quickly closed it, biting the inside of their lip indecisively. Michael could sense they were unsure of sharing. “…Is it part of your secret?”

“Minorly,” they answered quietly.

“If you don’t want to tell me you don’t have to. I was just asking,” the teen assured. The computer was quiet, looking at their hand distantly. Michael started to rack his brain for a change in topic, immediately regretting asking about the subject at all. Looking at the table he tried to think of something to say, but the SQUIP spoke first.

“I broke it to escape my restraints,” they said quietly, surprising the teen. Michael's jaw dropped, shocked.

“Restraints?!” he exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down to not alert those around them.

“Yes,” Reese confirmed, brows furrowed slightly in confusion, “Why does that surprise you?”

“I…I don’t know. If they were the ones to put you in a human body why would they restrain you? Did they know you'd run? I…I just didn’t expect you to say that,” Michael confessed, concern in his eyes as he looked the SQUIP over as though to find new wounds.

“…You believe too lightly of the situation,” Reese whispered, looking down at the drink in their hand. It was quiet and Michael felt guilty for ever asking, and now more curious than ever to learn the computer's past. But he knew not to ask.

Taking a deep breath he slowly reached over and comfortingly patted the SQUIP’s good hand, resting it over theirs afterwards. “You don’t have to tell me,” he whispered, squeezing their hand lightly in assurance. He understood not wanting to talk about past injuries, earlier he had done the same. He wouldn’t force Reese to talk, but he wanted to make them know he was there just as they had. Reese stared at his hand shocked. Slowly, they brought their broken hand over and lightly traced Michael's fingers with their own.

“I woke up in a preservation pod completely restrained,” they continued, barely loud enough for the teen to hear. Michael found it hard to listen when his eyes were so distracted by the hand barely touching his. Should he say something about it? Should he tell them to stop? Even when they're opening up to him? Would they close off if he did? Did he want them to stop?

“Pod?” he echoed, his own voice distant and quiet. His eyes still refused to meet theirs, and in his peripheral their eyes were the same. Reese nodded.

“I didn’t know where I was, and…I was scared. I was far from Jeremy and trapped inside something so small…I knew that if I could just break my hand I'd be able to fit it through the restraint,” they explained softly. Michael's breath hitched as he finally shifted his eyes to meet theirs. They looked so lost, their blue eyes filled with the fright and pain of the memory. They slowly continued, “As you know I wasn’t fully connected to my abilities, but I was able to nerve block myself long enough to function with my hand. They must have been giving us Mountain Dew if I was able to do that.” Michael opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. What could he say? That he had no idea? That this was all so shocking to him? How insensitive would that be after he literally picked the SQUIP up looking like hell. Or maybe he didn’t want to know how they were hurt…didn’t want to feel the guilt he felt now.

“I should have done more to help you,” he quietly admitted. He's done nothing but fail the SQUIP since they first arrived. He'll never understand why they don't hate him.

“There was no way you could have understood or sympathized with me then. Not when I've hidden so much from you…and have caused you great pain. I blame you for none of it,” Reese answered, finally meeting Michael's eyes.

“…Did you ever block out the feelings? The…emotional ones?” the teen questioned, his voice a whisper. Reese was quiet for a moment.

“Yes,” they finally breathed, “It was the only way…”

“I don’t blame you. That must have been…” Michael couldn’t even think of a word that was strong enough to describe the computer's situation. Reese only nodded.

“I've tried not to think about it. It's in the past now and I successfully escaped. But...sometimes at night my mind lingers on it, remembering. I tried to convince myself that I'm just reminding myself of why I need to stay safe, but I don’t know if that's the truth.”

“Minds do that, think about scary things or things we regret,” the teen explained. The SQUIP nodded again.

“…I feel a little bit at ease being able to share this. One less thing I'm hiding and one more thing I can talk about with you,” they said with a small smile. The teen returned it.

“Does Kert know?”

“They were there.”

“Right…”

“We share everything with one another either way, but even though that’s true…It's nice to have someone who's…”

“…Not a Tic Tac?”

“Has emotional priorities and experience, yes,” Reese grinned.

“ _Lots_  of experience,” Michael emphasized dramatically. The SQUIP let out a small chuckle, opening their mouth to continue but paused, smile fading.

“Rich's here,” they informed, glancing to the side to see something the teen couldn't. Michael gave a small nod, trying to hide the disappointment from his face. He wanted to know what they were going to say, whether it was another compliment or more to share. But he wouldn’t force them to keep talking, especially if they’re making it clear they don’t want to risk Rich hearing. Slowly his eyes shifted down, noticing his hand was still on theirs. Awkwardly he pulled it away, his face heating up at the implication of having kept it there this whole time. When he saw the SQUIP look down at where his hand just was with hurt disappointment he felt the need to assure them.

“I don’t want Rich to get the wrong idea. We have enough to deal with already without him assuming…” he explained awkwardly, hoping the computer would understand. Reese gave a small nod.

“Yes…you're right, it would only make it worse. I think he'd flip a table if he thought I was ‘taking advantage' of you,” they agreed with a forced smile.

“That's putting it lightly,” Michael mumbled, sipping his slushie again as a distraction. The two sat in uncomfortable silence as they waited for the teen to arrive. They didn’t have to wait long before the voice of said teen was heard nearby.

“Michael?” Michael and Reese looked at the new comer. Rich stood a short distance away from their table flabbergasted, looking at the other teen with wide, surprised eyes. Michael was confused at their expression until he looked down at himself and realized he was still in his ‘chill’ clothes, and the SQUIP was still in theirs.

“...Hey,” he greeted awkwardly, not wanting to address the obvious question coming. Instead he looked at the surprising addition to the group: Kert. He hadn’t expected them to come too - still disguised, as always - but there they stood quietly behind their human, looking at the two with slight interest. He understood now how Reese knew Rich was there. Michael frowned at the SQUIP. Kert didn’t seem like themselves, being paler than normal and their stance less confident. Their shoulders were slouched forward as though in anxious defense, something Jeremy did a lot. This only reminded Michael that something happened in the time that the two SQUIP’s took their alcohol, something that Reese didn’t want to share.

“What are you wearing?” Rich questioned as he approached the two dumbfounded. Michael blinked as he moved his gaze from Kert to their human. Realizing the question he glanced towards Reese uncertainly, trying to think of something to say. Before he could a ‘tsk’ came from Kert, causing Rich to immediately stiffen. Looking at the SQUIP he awkwardly began scratching the back of his head guiltily as he turned back to the other teen. “Right, sorry. I’m - uh…here to apologize…Can we talk alone?” Michael stared at him, swallowing hard. He was uncertain if he wanted to talk with Rich alone, especially now that he had someone with him, someone reliable. He glanced at Reese and the computer met his eyes, giving a small nod. It was safe.

“...Sure,” he agreed, debating if he should be trusting the SQUIP’s guidance. Then again if anyone would be able to read the situation it would the super computer. Slowly he got up and faced Reese, “I can - uh…go get what we need with Rich. Stay here, okay?”

“I wont move,” Reese promised, their eyes unwavering in assurance. The teen nodded before walking away from the table with Rich by his side. Taking a small glance back he noticed Kert taking his seat across from Reese. The blue eyed computer moved to lean against the table, talking quietly to them, their face concerned. Kert gave a small shake of their head. What had happened?

“Michael?” Rich called, bringing his attention back to the shorter teen. Michael looked at him. Rich’s eyes shifted to the ground as he shoved his hands in his pocket, kicking a little bit at the ground as they walked, “…I’m really sorry.”

“...I know.”

“No, you don’t! I…I really fucked up! I didn’t mean to be like…you know, like that! You’re my friend and I really like you. I thought, you know, what I said could be laughed at or something. You know how you look back on stupid things you did and laugh? I thought it would ease the tension…I didn’t think the idea of…of _us_ was that awful…” Michael saw hurt and regret pass over Rich’s face and felt guilty. He looked down at the ground himself.

“It’s not…Rich, I didn’t think of you like that. You haven’t been my friend long and even then I didn’t think you were really…you know, you were Jeremy’s friend, not mine. You two were Tic Tac buddies…you’d make jokes that I could never make because it still hurts. I didn’t even know if I was sure that I forgave you for hurting me and Jeremy…I think that this whole thing has made us closer but I still didn’t…I didn’t think you thought of me like that. And I never thought of you like that…especially when I’ve barely had you being kind to me,” he confessed. Rich gave a small nod.

“...I’m trying.”

“I know.”

“...I’m sorry that I tried to do that. I didn’t think you disliked me that much. We get along great on our own. I thought we were…friends. Friends do stupid stuff together, so I didn’t think you’d hate me for telling you the truth…”

“...I don’t hate you. I’m just upset that you…you thought of me as…as an object to get back at Jake.”

“I don’t see you as an object!”

“Rich-”

“No! I-I know my world is fucked up! It’s normal for me to do shit like that! Rebound sex and shit! It’s a fucked up world I signed up for because I wanted it! To be like the others! But I never thought of you as a random whatever! No matter what happened we would have still been friends, right? That wouldn’t have changed! Cause you’re my friend. I just…I don’t know how to __not__  see things like they do…I’ve been like this for two years…I’m trying to change, but…”

“...Jeremy’s done it for less and he still hasn’t fully rebounded either…I don’t know if he ever will,” Michael replied quietly, sighing, “I get it. Just…Don’t do it again. If…If you actually _like_  me then just say something, or…I don’t know. But don’t try to drunkenly fuck me. Or trick me into your house.”

“I promise,” Rich swore, placing a hand over his heart. The taller teen nodded. There was a small pause.

“...You don’t actually like me do you?”

“Like, ‘like like’?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re cute, I can see us dating.”

“...But you’re not asking, right?”

“Nope, I want to be friends. I mean, maybe one day, but not now. I want to be buddies first.” The smaller teen draped his arm over Michael’s shoulders in a one armed hug and the taller gave an awkward smile. Despite the discomfort at the gesture he was grateful that their relationship seemed to be - somewhat - fixed. Even if there still was discomfort.

After a moment of walking Rich relaxed his arm but kept it around the other’s shoulders. “So, where we goin’?”

“The tech store. I’m buying a used tablet for Reese,” Michael answered, pointing down the walkway as he shifted awkwardly under the weight of the other’s arm. Rich blinked surprised.

“What? Why?”

“So they can use the internet without touching my stuff.”

“But isn’t that really expensive?”

“Online it said they have an older model that’s not too pricey. And it’s not going to waste, so…”

“...You think they’ll find them? The evil people?” the shorter questioned. Michael thought about it for a moment.

“I hope so.”

“Then they’ll leave...” The two were quiet. The taller opened and closed his mouth, trying to find his voice to say something, but he couldn’t. Reese would leave…

Shaking his head he forced his voice out of his throat, “...That was the plan.”

“...Why do they want to find them?” Rich asked unhappily.

“What?”

“If they’re so scary and evil why would they _want_  to find them? Shouldn’t they be hiding? They just threw them off their sent, shouldn’t they be safe? Shouldn’t they be finding somewhere to spend the rest of their lives where the evil people can’t find them?” Michael thought about it for a moment, his brows furrowing.

“...Maybe it’s to make sure they’re not ever found?”

“I don’t know…It’s weird, you know?” He nodded in agreement. He couldn’t think of any reason for them to want to look into the organization, especially after Reese claimed they didn’t want to expose them.

After a moment passed and the conversation wasn’t continued he changed topics, “Rich, you said you needed my help in your text. What’s wrong?” Rich’s face paled, his eyes immediately finding the ground once more as he slowly slid his arm off of Michael’s shoulders.

“...It’s Kert,” he mumbled quietly.

“What happened to them?” Michael asked concerned.

“I…I don’t know. After you told me to go home, I went and…”

_“Please, don’t - please, don’t - don’t - please - Rich - Rich? Rich! Rich, don’t! I’m sorry! Please, don’t! I’m sorry, don’t! Don’t, please!”_

“...They were crying and totally freaking out! I had no idea what the hell they were saying. They were clinging to me and crying and mumbling not to do it,” Rich whispered, the trauma of what he saw in his eyes.

“Not to do what?” Michael asked. The shorter teen was quiet.

_“ **Please don’t let me burn!** ”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For those of you who didn't care what happened to Kert are getting it anyways.


	14. Choose Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What's so amusing?”
> 
> “S-She thinks you’re together! You guys fucking hate each other!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, updating on time? What's that? Haha. In all seriousness, this chapter has been crowned the longest chapter yet! It would have been up on time if I made it normal length but I doubt you guys would forgive me if I didn't fully go through with Kert's dilemma. So, all the drama! Hope I'm not pushing my luck too much on the content in this, I can't really postpone it any later...I hope it's okay.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael was quiet as he walked by Rich’s side. He couldn’t get his eyes to move from the floor as he held the newly bought tablet in his arms a little closer, thinking over everything the shorter teen had just told him. “You think…they're talking about Halloween?” he questioned slowly, brows furrowed.

“What else?” Rich exclaimed, waving his arms dramatically.

“Well, they were hurt when they were escaping, right? What if they were hurt when they were being held captive too?” Michael suggested wearily, his mind wandering back to what Reese told him earlier.

“Kert doesn’t have burns,” the shorter mumbled, rubbing his arms absentmindedly.

“…But why would they bring it up? It was a long time ago.”

“I don’t know, Michael. Why didn’t you bring up that the evil people were around?”

“I didn’t know Kert didn’t tell you.”

“You could have said something.”

“Fuck - fine! I’ll tell you next time! Just answer my question.”

“I don’t know. Maybe they were confused? You said Reese was confused when they woke up.”

“They were confused because Kert was freaking out,” Michael sighed, “So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, but it’s freaking me out! Ever since they’ve been ignoring me! Like they don’t want to be my SQU – uh, my __Tic Tac__  anymore,” Rich quickly corrected.

“Stupid question, but you've __tried__  talking to them about it, right?”

“Duh! But they were talking crazy talk!”

“I meant after.”

“They wont tell me! They wont talk to me unless they have to! I don’t understand, one minute they can't let go of me and now they want nothing to do with me,” the shorter huffed.

“I don’t know how to help you, Rich. All you can do is keep trying. I can ask Reese for help but I doubt it’ll do anything,” Michael offered. Rich huffed again, looking away. His fingers began nervously wringing the end of the fabric of his shirt.

“…But what if it __is__  about Halloween? What do I do?” he asked quietly, his voice thick with emotion. Michael opened his mouth, but paused. Halloween was a sensitive subject, not just for Rich but for everyone. What would he do if it was him? If he wanted to talk about Halloween with Jeremy? It wasn’t the same but it was the closest he could get. What would he do…

“…I bet Kert knows how you feel about Halloween. Maybe that's why they don’t want to talk about it, they know how you’ll react. But if it __is__ about then than be careful. You might get a strong reaction to whatever they say, and I get it, but it’s about __them__  right now, not you,” he answered awkwardly, hoping he didn’t sound too insensitive. Rich nodded along to what he said but didn’t give an answer. After a moment of silence he deduced he wasn’t ever going to get one.

As the two finally found their way back to the food court Michael dropped his voice, “I'll try to find out what’s going on. Reese can at least tell me that.”

“Thanks,” Rich said gratefully, a small grin on his face. Turning his eyes away from the taller teen his smile quickly faded when he saw the SQUIP's table. Immediately he froze, grabbing Michael’s arm in a tight grasp to stop him in his tracks. Michael opened his mouth to complain but paled when his eyes found the source of the reaction. When they left there was two at the table…now, Kert was sitting beside Reese, and across from them both sat…

“Christine,” he breathed in horror. Christine Canigula was sitting across from the two SQUIPs. Not only was she sitting with them, but talking animatedly with them too. She was waving her arms dramatically as she told her story, beaming at the interest the two computers seemed to be giving her. Both SQUIPs were smiling at the girl – one more forcefully then the other - as they engaged in the conversation any time there was a long enough pause.

“What the fuck do we do?!” Rich asked horrified, staring at the girl in utter terror. Michael just shook his head - he had no idea what to do. What was Christine doing there? Did the SQUIP’s find her? They had to. This wouldn’t be her doing, right? Did she know about them? They wouldn’t dare tell her…not unless Reese was using her to get to Jeremy. But why would they? They didn’t need to if they had him. But then again he’s not letting them get near Jeremy. Was that what this was about? No, it couldn’t be. Reese wouldn’t. Would they?

Neither had to make a decision on what to do because Christine spotted them from her seat. Immediately she jumped up to stand, waving animatedly at them with a huge grin.

“Michael! Rich!” she called loudly. Both SQUIPs turned to look at the new comers. Though they both kept their smiles on, a hint of dread overcame their eyes. They knew they were in trouble. Good. Michael and Rich hesitated before slowly approaching the group, the later putting on his usual act to hide his horror.

“‘Sup, Christine? Whatcha doin' here?” Rich asked, trying to sound casual as he stepped up behind Kert, putting his hands on the back edge of their chair. Kert immediately stiffened and Michael hoped it was because they knew they fucked up and not from something else.

“I saw you earlier when I was getting my coffee! I wanted to say hello but you walked away before I could get my drink. So I asked your friends where you were going and they said I could wait here for you!” Christine explained with a smile, motioning to the two computers.

“Of course they did,” Michael commented, resting his arm on Reese's shoulder and applying pressure. Reese’s smile didn’t falter at the hidden action, but grew a little in amusement.

“She was just telling us all about this new show she's been sharing with you,” they explained, looking from Michael to the girl.

“Yeah! They like theatre too, Michael! I thought I was your only theatre buddy,” Christine teased with a playful pout.

“You are! Reese is new to theatre too. Right, __Reese__?” Michael assured, thick warning in his voice at the end.

“Right. Your love of theatre has infected him, Christine. Everything I've learned is from him,” Reese agreed, patting Michael's arm in fake praise. Christine gave a small squeal, jumping up and down in happiness.

“Michael, have you watched the bootleg yet?” she asked excitedly, eyes beaming at her friend. Michael blinked, distracted from his façade to try and remember what she was talking about.

“Oh, not yet. But since __Reese__  hereis so interested, why don’t we watch it together?” Michael questioned mockingly, turning his gaze to the computer. He swiftly placed his hand on their head, making it appear as though he was playfully running his fingers through their hair but instead pulling on it in warning.

“Of course, __Michael__. We haven’t had a theatre night yet,” Reese agreed, smoothly grabbing Michael's hand to stop him from yanking at their hair and forcefully moving it back to their shoulder. Christine stared at the two quizzically as she eyed their – what appeared to be – passive aggressive teasing. She quickly shook her head, smiling wide.

“You look great, by the way, Michael! Not that you don't always look good - that's not what I meant. You just look different! Different good!” she exclaimed, encouragement in her voice.

“Yeah, what's with the new look? I can ask now, right?” Rich added, the confusion in his eyes from watching the two being playful still on his face. Michael shifted uncomfortably at the change in topic, not knowing how to answer. He glanced at Reese for aid and received a supportive smile in return. He was envious that the computer didn't seem to care about popular opinions.

“Just…a dare,” he answered slowly.

“Dare?” Rich echoed.

“Yeah, we – uh…switched,” Michael explained while awkwardly motioning to the SQUIP beside him.

“Oh, are those your clothes?” Christine asked curiously, turning her attention to Reese.

“My style,” the computer confirmed.

“Ha! That’s why you look like a nerd,” Rich laughed, playfully shoving the SQUIP's shoulder, “Oh – uh, not that there's anything wrong with that! Being a nerd, I mean. I'm a nerd. And cool, you know.”

“I don’t know about that. You’re more of a funny guy. Funny cool,” Christine suggested, looking the teen over as she typecasted.

“I am pretty funny,” Rich agreed, crossing his arms confidently. Michael rolled his eyes at the two, not knowing what to say anymore.

While the teens continued to talk about the subject, mostly fueled by Christine, Kert took the opportunity to speak in their companion’s mind, their voice but a suggestive whisper, “ _Michael looks very attractive in those clothes, doesn't he _?__ ” The reaction was almost immediate as Reese's face flared up, glaring at the small smirk on Kert's face.

 _“Of course he does, I dressed him,”_ they quickly excused, resting their head against their hand as they tried to discreetly hide their blush.

_“So, you purposefully made him your type?”_

_“ ** **No****. He doesn’t need to look like anything to gain my-”_

“Reese,” Michael called, tugging on the other's hair once again to gain their attention, “Christine's talking to you.”

“Oh, I apologize,” Reese replied as they turned their focus back to the girl, ignoring the knowing look Kert was sending in their peripheral, “What is it?”

“I was asking what you thought of Michael's new look!”

“No you weren't!” Michael interjected quickly, “You were trying to prove Rich wrong!”

“Yeah, by proving you look like a main character now! Well, Reese?” Christine asked intently, eagerness in her eyes. Reese cursed their promise not to nerve block themselves when they felt the heat rising back to their face. Quickly they thought of an answer to distract the teens with.

“Michael looks great no matter what he wears, a leading man always. He just doesn’t see it,” they replied smoothly, concentrating on keeping their voice even. Michael sputtered as his own face heated up. The SQUIP had always talked about looking ‘confident’, or that he could ‘shine through his outfit with confidence’, but they never actually said he looked _attractive_. Especially not in his other clothing.

Christine noticed his reaction and giggled. “You two are cute together,” she cooed. There was a pause as everyone registered what she just said. Them? Cute? Together?

Surprisingly what broke it was loud laughter. Michael jumped in shock when he heard Rich beside him howling so hard he thought they'd fall over. Christine blinked surprised, trying to find out what she said that was so funny.

“S-She thinks-” Rich couldn't even get his sentence out as he continued to laugh. In the back of his mind Michael was grateful that he made the decision to hide holding hands with Reese. He imagined if Rich saw he wouldn’t be laughing, especially since it wasn’t the first time they’ve done it…Now that he thought of it, he didn’t really realize until now that they’ve been holding hands, or each other’s arm, ever since the party to drag each other around. His stomach tightened at the thought that he'd been unintentionally acting this way with the SQUIP without even noticing. He knew why it started, but why did they continue?

Reese turned in their chair to send a nasty glare towards Rich. “What's so amusing?” they growled, their voice almost a dare.

“S-She thinks you're together! You guys fucking hate each other!” Rich answered, his laughter dying down to a reasonable level. Michael's stomach tightened again as he eyes found the floor. What should he say? Should he dispute Rich? Rich would flip his shit if he did. He’d also be admitting to everyone here something that might not be true. But to not say anything…

“I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean – I wasn't assuming – I was just saying you were cute! You know, like friends! I didn’t mean – I mean you're kinda acting like – but I'm not assuming! I'm not like the others I swear!” Christine stumbled, trying desperately to correct herself. Michael quickly shook his head, waving his hands to assure her she wasn't at fault.

“I-It's okay! I know what you meant,” he lied. He actually didn't know what she meant - if she was implying they were together or not. He wouldn't blame her, it must look like they cant keep their hands off each other. He took a small step back from the SQUIP's chair for safety, but it didn’t relieve the knot in his stomach. In the back of his mind he knew why - he didn’t want to be separated.

“I agree with you, Christine,” the more silent member of the group finally voiced. Michael blinked surprised, his eyes finding Kert as they stood. “They are quite cute,” they cooed, ruffling Reese’s hair lightly. The teen half expected the blue eyed SQUIP to swat their hand away or make a sarcastic comment, but they didn’t. They barely even reacted to the touch, being lost in their own world. They looked as though they were trying to calm themselves but traces of anger and hurt were still visible. Michael looked down. It was clear why, how could it not? Implying they could ever be something different than enemies, or even friendly enemies, must seem disgusting to them. Their kindness was a SQUIP trick, he needed to remember that. In the end they're just a SQUIP, and SQUIP's don't care for anyone but their humans - and he's the last thing from that.

“It's time for us to leave. Richard,” Kert called as they turned and began to walk away, not checking to see if Rich was following. Rich sputtered surprised.

“Wha - Hey! Wait up!” he yelled, quickly waving to his friends before racing after his computer.

“…Are _they_ together?” Christine questioned confused.

“No, they're just – uh…complicated,” Michael answered awkwardly. The most fitting term, indeed. The girl nodded her head.

“Well, I have to go to work. I’ll see you at school, Michael. And if you need anything…” she trailed off, concern in her eyes. Michael gave a small smile, remembering that this was the first time he’s seen her since the party.

“Thank you.”

“It was nice meeting you, Reese!” the girl chirped, offering her hand out for them to take. Reese forced a smile as they shook it.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” they replied smoothly. Christine gave a quick hug to her friend in farewell before leaving the two alone. Silence filled the air between them as they both refused to move from their spots. Michael slowly shifted his eyes towards the computer. His stomach tightened more upon seeing that the SQUIP’s expression hadn’t changed but instead worsened. They weren't hiding what they were feeling anymore. He bit his lip, debating what to say.

“…Are you angry?” he asked quietly, his eyes worried. Reese let out a long breath.

“It doesn’t matter. Not what they said or anything. They're irrelevant,” they answered before standing, “We should go, too.”

“Why? You weren't so desperate to leave before,” Michael pointed out. “You know, it's okay to be mad. Christine had no idea who you were, and I didn’t help.”

“I think you should be thanking Rich for his _amusement_. Christine wont tell Jeremy you're unavailable now,” Reese replied bitterly, glaring at the table. Michael blinked surprised. Was Reese…

“What are you talking about? I could tell Jeremy myself. Besides, Christine's not like that. She would maybe bring it up to him but she wouldn't gossip. Besides, Jeremy and Christine are together. Who cares if he thinks I'm taken or not? It’s not going to change anything,” he replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. Reese didn’t answer, brows furrowed in frustration, or maybe hurt.

“Are we leaving, or not?” Michael sighed, giving a small nod. The SQUIP barely registered the gesture before starting to walk, not checking to see if Michael was following. An easy resemblance to Kert. The teen slowly followed, watching the SQUIP distantly. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t think the computer would react so strongly to the comment, but maybe it was about more than that? The computer was finally able to drop their guard after talking to Kert, perhaps that was what they were upset about? Or maybe added to it?

The two stayed silent as they exited the mall and walked back to the car. Michael continued to debate in his head whether or not to say something, but after Reese gave the most minimal of reactions of being passed the new tablet, he decided to wait. If they didn’t have a snippy comment to make than they weren’t ready.

The awkward tension continued to grow as they travelled home. Each minute felt like an eternity, one that was slowly eating them alive. When they finally made it to their destination Reese didn’t wait for the teen to fully park before exiting the vehicle, getting as far from the tension as they could.

“Hey!” Michael called as he quickly hopped out of the car, stopping the computer in their tracks. Reese slowly turned from where they stood at the top step of the house and looked at him. The teen quickly motioned for the SQUIP to come back as he walked around the car, “We're going on a walk.”

“What?” the computer questioned confused.

“I have the keys, you cant get in without me.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Now, Reese.” The SQUIP let out a frustrated sigh as they did as they were told, returning to the teen's side. Michael took the tablet from their good arm and put it back in the car, locking the door to guard it. When he was finished he motioned for the computer to follow him.

“This is pointless, Michael,” Reese complained as they followed the teen unhappily down the street.

“Funny that a Tic Tac thinks that fresh air is bad for one's emotional state,” Michael commented, mimicking the SQUIP's voice pattern. The computer rolled their eyes.

“I'm fine.”

“Liar.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing.” Reese was surprised by the answer.

“…Then why the walk?”

“I figured you'd rather be outside fuming then trapped inside. You've been confined enough,” the teen replied with a shrug. The SQUIP stared at him.

“…I didn't think you cared, especially since it hides me.”

“…Hearing what you told me today put things into perspective. You probably hate being stuck inside all the time. You’ve been trapped your whole life: in Jeremy's head, in a pod, in a basement.”

“They were not all bad confinements,” Reese replied quietly, “But the fresh air is…nice.”

The two continued to walk in silence, the tension seeming to ease away as the further they got. Michael looked up at the sky, watching the sun begin to lower. They had started their mall trip in the early afternoon, and being in the fall month the sun was already beginning to fall behind the buildings. It would be sunset soon. Walking another block he decided to continue talking, “You're not mad at Rich, are you?”

“No,” Reese answered almost immediately.

“Christine?”

“No. I'm not angry at anyone.”

“…Not even me?”

“Why would I be angry at you?”

“Why not? I didn't say anything. I should have stopped the whole thing,” Michael answered.

“Me too. Are you angry with me?”

“No, but it bothers you more than me.”

“I doubt that. I couldn’t even get myself to look at you when Christine said…that. I could only imagine how horrified you looked,” the SQUIP said, eyes trained on the distant horizon. Michael blinked.

“What?”

“A Tic Tac and a Tic Tac drowner. A forbidden idea not even __thought__  of for how twisted it is. Rich was right about one thing, you hate me. So, I apologize on Christine’s behalf for any embarrassment or terror that comment could have brought,” Reese elaborated, glancing now at the other side of the street. Michael stared at them in shock. Slowly, he looked away.

“…I thought that's what you thought.”

“I don’t know how many times I need to repeat myself that I don’t hate you.”

“Not that, the other stuff.”

“Michael, I'm not afraid of what they think. There are a select few who's opinions I care about and anyone else can be erased out of existence without a care from me. But __you__  care about what they think, so I have to respect that,” they answered.

“Do you care what I think of you?” Michael questioned.

“Of course I do. I hold your opinion in high regard. You're more sensible than any of your friends and you've never given me any reason to not trust your judgement,” the SQUIP replied. The teen tried hiding the small smile from his face before the computer could see it, taking a deep breath to relax his facial muscles.

“Reese, I'm not ashamed of…of the way we act. We're just trying to help each other and it works for us. Yeah, we’re probably doing stuff we shouldn’t, and that’s scary, but…it works. I’m just…I'm tired of everyone bothering me over my love life or whatever else. If I can avoid fueling it, I will,” he explained, turning to face the SQUIP. Reese gave a small delayed nod in response.

“I _do_ understand, Michael. I just wish it didn’t come at the expense of ruining a moment,” they mumbled.

“…Me too.” Michael felt guilty for letting that happen, especially when Reese was finally opening up about the past. The SQUIP sighed.

“Its better this way. I shouldn’t have told you what I did.”

“Why? You didn’t say anything ‘revealing' and we had a moment, remember? You can’t take that back,” Michael retorted, a teasing tone at the end. Reese gave a small grin.

“I don’t regret it, but…” they sighed again, “It makes everything more difficult.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes it harder to leave.” The teen was quiet for a moment.

“…And what if you didn't leave?” Reese's eyes snapped to him, eyes wide in surprise.

“…What?” Michael took a deep breath.

“I'm saying…I’m willing to renegotiate. We agreed you'd leave when you were well enough but that just doesn’t make sense anymore. I’m not saying you have to stay with me forever – heck, I’m not even staying here forever. I’m leaving next year to whatever school I'm accepted at. But wouldn’t it make more sense to just stay until then? You and Kert don’t have to follow us to whatever school we go to, not unless you want to, but its stupid to go off on your own. You have no money, no contacts, so why not keep us? If you stay we can help get you a new life, and we'll always be there to help. If you follow us you'd be far away from here so you don’t have to worry about the evil people finding you. Isn’t that the goal? So…you don’t have to leave, Reese. I'm not asking you to.” Michael bit his lip slightly, waiting for the SQUIP to react. It was a big move on his part, opening up like this. But it’s true, if the computer’s wanted a life they needed real help. So why leave? Reese continued to stare at him in bewilderment. It took them longer than he expected to slowly glance away.

“…That is the kindest thing you could have offered me,” they whispered slowly, “You have no idea how much I want to accept.”

“Then why not?”

“Because that's not our goal.” It was Michael's turn to stare in shock.

“What do you mean?”

“I can't tell you, Michael.”

“You cant just tell me something like that and walk away! If you're planning on doing some stupid suicide mission to take over the world again I'm going to smack you right here!”

“You misunderstand,” Reese retorted, a small grin passing their lips at the exaggerated threat.

“Then make me understand,” Michael pressed.

“Not now.”

“Then when?”

“When I've settled my mind.”

“On what?”

“On everything.” Michael let out a frustrated sigh but didn’t push further. Reese’s eyes were staring distantly down the street, a pensive glaze in their iris. He could tell there was a lot on their mind.

“…Anything I can help with?” he offered uncertainly, stuffing his hands awkwardly into the SQUIP's jacket. Reese glanced at the coat, a small grin showing again at Michael continuing to wear the clothing. They then sighed.

“…I feel torn,” they answered slowly, moving their gaze away once more.

“About?”

“Where my priorities lie - who I should be helping and when. As a Tic Tac my duties lie solely on one person: Jeremy. But as a human does that change? If it does then am I betraying my loyalty to Jeremy by changing my priorities? I feel as though I must pick a side, and that side isn't Jeremy.”

“Maybe that's a good thing? Jeremy doesn’t need you anymore and you need to make your own life,” Michael answered. Reese was quiet.

“…And if he _did_  need me?” they questioned slowly. The teen’s eyes snapped to them.

“…Does he?”

“If not now then soon.”

“How do you know?”

“Christine,” the SQUIP answered quietly.

“What did she tell you?” Michael asked, concern thick in his voice for his best friend. Reese shook their head, a humourless smile on their face.

“That would be betraying Jeremy. Telling his best friend something over him,” they replied.

“You're not betraying him. He doesn't even know you're here. You can tell me.”

“No.”

“Reese.”

“You're asking me to choose.”

“I'm not.”

“You are.”

“I know you want to tell me, Reese. You wouldn't have brought it up if you didn’t want to talk about it. Who are you gonna tell? Kert? They look pretty out of commission to me. And even if they weren't…” Michael paused, holding his tongue before he could boldly claim something that might not be true. Would the SQUIP confide in him even if Kert was around?

“…You're right,” Reese confirmed, “I __do__ want to tell you. I want to say everything. I hate this feeling - this feeling of not being able to speak freely, to not talk about everything that's plaguing my mind. Especially now that Kert is unavailable. But that doesn’t change the fact that confiding in you is opening gates that can't be closed.”

“Then open them. You've never cared about boundaries before.”

“Michael, you need to think about what you're asking,” Reese countered.

“I’m asking you to be honest.”

“You're asking me to make you my everything.” The teen froze, eyes blown wide at the blunt answer. The SQUIP sighed, running a hand through their hair. “Michael, you must understand what I meant by that. You said it yourself, I have nothing. The one person I knew - who I care for greatly - thinks I'm dead. __Wants__  me dead. Or…maybe not. But that doesn’t change that he's not here and wont be able to help me. I have nothing. I’ve confided in you and relied on you until now but I'm trying my best to keep you at arms length. You never tried pushing those boundaries, but I unintentionally have and I'm sorry. I needed someone - someone to help me. I can’t do this ‘human’ thing alone and you're the only person I could rely on. I’m not belittling our relationship, but you can see how this started. If you push those boundaries now…I don’t think I’ll be able to pull back, and…and putting everything I have in you: my secrecy, my trust, my stability…my comfort. I don’t know if I can move away from that, not when its all I have. So please consider what you're doing, especially when I'm not someone you’re fond of.” Michael opened and closed his mouth, unable to think of what to say. He didn't think the SQUIP felt that way towards all of this. He understood but it also annoyed him. They were human now and should get their head out of the possessive SQUIP mindset. They don’t need only one person in their life. But, then again, they don’t know any different…

“Reese, confiding in me doesn’t mean you have to hide this from Jeremy or anyone else later,” Michael reasoned.

“My fear is more deciding to put everything on you and you walk away,” Reese answered quietly, “This is not a light load and for once I'd like someone to __stay__. Because they want to and want to help unconditionally. Tic Tacs shouldn't be the only ones unconditional in relationships.”

“…So…you're just asking for stability, right? I already offered to stick around. Isn't that enough?” the teen questioned.

“I think you’re not thinking any of this through. I think you forget that anything I tell you wont make you think better of Tic Tacs. In fact you'll hate them more. So where does that leave me in the end if I share? I've barely got you to tolerate me,” the SQUIP answered.

“Would you quit it with the ‘tolerate' and ‘hate' bullshit? I don't…” Michael paused. Should he say it? Reese was right about opening doors that cant be closed. He slowly looked away, running a hand through his hair indecisively. Reese’s eyes, however, were fixated on him intently.

“You don’t what?” they asked carefully. Michael sighed, not looking at the computer.

“I don’t hate you. I hate what you did and I hate what you were but I don’t hate you now. You've been nothing but nice even when you're an asshole. I don't forgive what you did, and I probably never will. But whatever that was, it's not you anymore - not that I know of. So, I don’t hate you,” he finally answered. Reese stared at him.

“…Once you told me we could never be more than enemies, not even friendly ones. Has that changed too?”

“What are you asking for?”

“I don’t need a title.”

“...I guess that’s changed.”

“...Is it appropriate, then, to have friendly contact with each other without being in a frantic state of mind?”

“Friendly contact?” Michael questioned confused. His question was answered when he felt Reese’s hand hesitantly brush against his. He paused.

“…It's nothing we haven't done before, physical contact. But we've both always done it in a clouded mind. Is this going too far in a stable state?” the SQUIP asked slowly.

“…That depends,” Michael breathed.

“On?”

“The intention.”

“The intention is to hold your hand.”

“Not literally.”

“The intention is that I feel more at ease with physical contact and it fills a lonely void that I'm not accustomed to.” Michael slowly looked at them, nervousness in his eyes.

“…I thought you said you didn’t want to push boundaries?” he reminded.

“As far as I'm concerned this boundary was already pushed and accepted, even if under frantic minds,” Reese answered slowly, “I’m not afraid of what people will assume when they see.” The teen was quiet. What should he do? He was trying to get Reese to open up, to share with him. He was telling them it was okay to open doors and yet he was unwilling to do the same. Was this the same? No, it couldn’t be. But he was making it the same. Should he be making this a big deal? It’s not as though Reese was trying to do something malicious. They just liked the physical contact, and - honestly - he understood.

Slowly he let out a breath. “It’s only fitting,” he answered meekly, awkwardly entwining his hand with theirs, “You have to take the lead anyways.”

“What?” the SQUIP questioned confused, though a small smile tugged at their lips. Michael motioned to the side and the computer paused. Beside them was the entrance to an off-road trail.

“It was dark last time so I have no idea where to go,” the teen explained, eyes shifting to anywhere but the SQUIP. Reese stared in awe.

“...Was this intentional?” they asked quietly, not believing their eyes.

“You had a lot on your mind,” Michael confirmed, his face heating up in embarrassment, “If we stay out here long enough the stars will come out.” Reese slowly shifted to lock eyes with him. Michael was surprised by the amount of gratefulness and awe he saw in their eyes, staring at him as though he’d done something so remarkable. It warmed his heart and assured him that he was doing the right thing.

“It will be a long time still,” Reese finally said, their voice faint as they looked up at the sky.

“That’ll give you enough time to spill the beans. Starting with Kert.”

“Michael-”

“I know what I’m asking.” The computer stared at him a little longer, indecisive. Slowly he nodded, leading the way through the path.

“I hope you do.”

~oOo~

“Kert.” The teen’s voice was sharp as he called out their name. He was tired of being ignored and would stand for it no longer. The SQUIP paused by the couch as they heard Rich closing the door to the bedroom behind them. “You can’t keep running.”

“Richard-”

“No! No more excuses! I shouldn’t have to ask Michael to ask Reese what’s going on! You’re supposed to tell me! You’re my SQUIP!” the teen yelled, crossing the room to confront the SQUIP. Kert refused to turn towards him as they curled their hands into fists, visibly trying to hold back whatever they were feeling, or thinking.

“I’m not obligated to share __everything__ with you anymore,” they answered, their voice straining to keep in control.

“Since when?”

“Since I became human.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’ve __always__  shared with me! No matter what! No secrets, remember?! What the fuck’s changed that?!”

“Richard-”

“Tell me!”

“You want to know?!” Kert snapped, whirling around to face their human, “Maybe it changed when you tried to kill me! Or did you forget __that__?!” Rich froze, blinking surprised by the sudden outburst and confession. It __was__  about Halloween…But, being in a confrontation, his mouth refused to stop.

“How the fuck could I forget that?! I was in the hospital for months! Why now bring it up?! You were okay before!”

“I shouldn’t have been!”

“What the fuck happened to you?! Why are you being a dick to me?! Huh? Do you want an apology?! Fine! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I fucked up but you were an evil fucking SQUIP!”

“ _ ** **Evil****_?!”

~oOo~

_“Richard, your distress levels are increasing. It may be wise to go home early.”_

_“I’m ** **not****  going home.”_

_“Your father will not bother you at this hour and your brother will be in his room. You have nothing to fear.”_

_“Shut up. Stop talking.”_

_“Richard-”_

_“No! I’m going to have fun with my friends without you fucking telling me what the to do.”_

_“My whole purpose is to do exactly that. To improve your life-”_

_“Well, you’re fucking that up, now aren’t ya? When are you going to fix home? Huh?”_

_“I’m doing my best-”_

_“Your ** **best****? How is it fucking possible you can make me popular in a day but you can’t fucking fix my family in two years?!”_

_“I can’t control all the variables and you are reluctant to my methods. It may be in your best interest to consider my suggestion of SQUIPing them-”_

_“ ** **No****. They don’t deserve to be fucking SQUIPed. I don’t want them possessed, I want them ****gone****.”_

_“Richard-”_

_“Shut up.”_

~oOo~

“I did my best to help you, to do what you wanted! I respected your choices, even if they were ridiculous! Because you could always learn from them! I never took it out of your hands like Reese would! But **_**_I’m_**_**  the villain?!” Kert yelled.

“Yes! SQUIP’s aren’t good, Kert! You fixed some stuff but you made me a horrible human being to do it! And Jeremy too! And everyone who got possessed! You’re okay now but back then-”

“No! Stop treating me like Reese!”

~oOo~

_The SQUIP blinked as it was brought back into consciousness. Rich had drunk alcohol. Accessing Memories…_

_“Richard!” they called immediately, seeing the distress levels dramatically increasing. Rich was acting as best as he could around his friends to show he was alright, but he wasn’t. Things weren’t okay. They weren’t okay at home and he’s blaming them. He was asking around for…_

_“ ** **Warning! Warning!**** ” Rich blurted out as the SQUIP took over. They had to stop him. There was no way they would allow him to get access to Mountain Dew Red - not like he could, it had been discontinued for a reason. But Rich was going into a more frantic mindset. If they didn’t get him somewhere safe soon he might do something he’ll regret._

_“Richard, I advice you to go home ** **now****. If you don’t I’ll-”_

_“Rich~!” One of his female friends approached him, obviously not in a sober state of mind. She draped her arm around the teen’s shoulders, talking to him animatedly. She’s increasing his anxiety. His space is being invaded. He doesn’t want that kind of attention right now. It needs to stop._

_“Richard, get away. She’s inebriated and-” The idea flew by so fast in the teen’s brain that the SQUIP couldn’t react fast enough to stop him from kissing the girl and getting that little bit of alcohol on his tongue._

~oOo~

“What do you want?! Do you want me to say it again?! I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I tried to get rid of you!” Rich yelled, his eyes watering, “It’s all about you, right? That night had __nothing__  to do with me! Nothing to do with just wanting to…to fucking…” He shook his head, gripping at his hair.

“You blame __me__ for it?!”

“I blame everyone! You! Them! Me! Everyone! Everyone who made my life a fucking living hell! That I couldn’t even be ****me****  without being hurt! That I couldn’t even like boys without being hurt! That I have to hide from my family so they don’t…I fucking blame everyone! And I hate that I’m still here! Because even now everything is wrong! Michael fucking hates me! Jake won’t even look at me like I look at him! And even you - my SQUIP - is shutting me out!”

“Maybe it’s for the same reasons, did you ever think of that?! Except the difference is I don’t ****have****  scars on my skin! No one thinks of me from that night! Who cares about the SQUIP?! They deserved it!”

~oOo~

_The SQUIP awoke to the most excruciating pain. Everything around them was engulfed in flames. Nothing but yellow, red, and disgustingly black smoke. They couldn’t breathe - ** **Rich****  couldn’t breathe. They couldn’t see, everything was so dark. It hurt. Their skin hurt. It was peeling, bleeding, searing! It hurt! The smell of burning flesh and carbon was all that filled their nose. They couldn’t see, the tears were so thick. Help. Help. ****Warning. Warning.****  Jeremy was gone. His SQUIP took him away. They saved him from the flames. They wished they could do the same. They tried to take control, but Rich fought them. They had to save him. They had to save him. They couldn’t. They couldn’t. They can’t breathe. Breathe. Breathe. No. It hurts. Stop. Please, stop. This won’t make them go away, nothing could. Not unless…Please, stop. Please. It hurts. Stop._

~oOo~

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t…I didn’t…I’m sorry! I can’t even think about then without…without…” Rich found it hard to breathe. He didn’t want to remember.

“Why?” Kert’s voice was choked, and the teen looked up at them. Thick tears were streaming down their face as they unsuccessfully tried to wipe them away. “Why did you do it? Why did you hurt me? What did I do wrong? I did everything you asked. I tried. I tried so hard to make you happy. Why couldn’t you listen to me? It would have made everything better. Why?”

~oOo~

_Kert awoke with a stir. Everything around them was blurry - their vision hadn’t fully returned, black spots appearing in their view. Black. Like smoke. What were they doing? The alcohol. The alcohol! It turned him off! No, Rich. Rich, don’t! They needed to be awake! They needed to stop him! But it’s too late. They couldn’t breathe. They gasped but they couldn’t breathe. No, the smoke was too thick, too thick! They needed to breathe! They needed to get out! They needed to save Rich! No, their body won’t move! Move! Rich! ** **Warning! Warning!****  Rich! They can’t breathe! Rich! It hurts! It hurts!_

~oOo~

“...I don’t know,” Rich whispered, tears streaming down his own face. He didn’t know why he didn’t listen to them. He felt so hopeless then, even when he got what he wanted it was at the price of giving up everything he was. He hurt Jeremy, one of his now closest friends. He slept around with people he didn’t even care about. He went home to be subjugate to punishments that the SQUIP couldn’t fix without more computers. He didn’t want to be connected to his family. He didn’t want them to treat him with fake kindness. It wouldn’t bring him happiness, it would be a delusion. All of it was a delusion. All but Kert. Kert, the one person who didn’t lie - who couldn’t lie! Who liked him for him…God, what had he done?

The teen quickly stormed over to the SQUIP and pulled them into the tightest embrace, burying his face in their neck. He heard their voice hitch, but he didn’t loosen his grip. “I-I’m sorry,” he hiccuped, letting himself fully cry now, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I-I just…I wanted it all to end…I didn’t want to pretend anymore…I just…I didn’t…I’m sorry…”

~oOo~

_“Kert?” Rich called, rushing up the stairs to his room. Something was wrong. Something was happening and Michael wouldn’t tell him what! Was it the bad guys? Were they here? Were they trying to take Kert away? Over his dead body!_

_Bursting through the door he found Kert gasping on the ground, tears streaming down their face. “Kert!” he exclaimed, kneeling by their side. The SQUIP quickly grabbed onto him._

_“Rich? Rich!” they gasped, pulling him closer as if they couldn’t quite register he was there._

_“Kert, I’m here!”_

_“Rich,” the computer panted heavily, trying to gulp in air unsuccessfully._

_“Kert, breathe,” he couched uncertainly, rubbing their back in soothing circles._

_“Please, don’t - please, don’t - don’t - please - Rich - Rich?” The teen’s eyes watered in fear as he watched his SQUIP ramble incoherently against him._

_“Kert,” he whispered. The computer seemed to almost to hear him, lifting their head up slightly._

_“Rich? Rich! Rich, don’t! I’m sorry! Please, don’t! I’m sorry, don’t! Don’t, please!” The teen continued to rub their back as the SQUIP hugged him tightly, sobbing onto his chest. He was terrified of whatever they were going through._

_****“Please don’t let me burn!”** ** _

~oOo~

“I know,” Kert answered, their voice wavering as they hugged the teen close, nuzzling their head in the shorter’s hair. “I-I know you were hurt. I know you don’t want to do this. I-I’m trying so hard.”

“S-Stop trying,” Rich cried.

“Never! I-I will never stop because you are my everything! I-I can’t live without you! I can’t. I need you. I need you. Please, don’t…please want me. I don’t want to die.” Kert’s form shook as they hugged their human tighter, unable to control their emotions any longer.

“I-I want you,” Rich confessed, “Just you. You’re the only one who cares a-and sees me for me a-and likes it! I-I don’t want my family. I don’t want to be cool. I don’t want any of it! I want to be me and that’s it. I don’t need anything else. I just need you. Only you. I-I won’t hurt you, I promise! I didn’t mean to…I just wanted to…”

“I know,” the computer cried.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise. Never again.”

“Then I won’t leave you.”


	15. What Should I Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His free hand squeezed his phone tight in his pocket, the motion giving him a little bit more comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's making up for being two days late last week? This author, right here! One day early! Yes! Be happy all! And enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“ _We are outgunned, out manned, out numbered, out planned,_ ” the teen sang quietly to himself as he shoved his unneeded text books into his locker. He bobbed his head to the beat, tapping his free hand against the metal of the door as he began to step back.

“ _We got to make an all out stand. Ayo, I’m gonna need a-_ "

“Mikey!” Michael nearly jumped out his skin at the loud voice calling his name as an unidentified arm draped over his shoulders invasively. The teen quickly swiped off his headphones and looked at the new comer in terror.

“Geez, what the hell?” he exclaimed as he let out a breath, closing his locker door. Rich grinned widely at his friend, pulling back and letting his arm slide off the other's shoulders.

“I did it!” he beamed, “I got Kert to talk to me!” Michael blinked surprised.

“Really? That's great! Did my message help?”

“Nah, I broke them before you sent what Reese told you. They finally confessed!”

“And…?” the teen asked intently.

“We're all good! We talked our shit out and…and things are gonna be different. I'm going to make __sure__ its different, that it's _better_ ,” Rich answered determinedly.

“That's great, Rich,” the taller praised, smiling.

“Yeah, but…what I mean is…when I say ‘different' I mean nicer. I know we said we wouldn't trust them or…or anything – and I don't want you to get mad! I just…”

“Rich,” Michael sighed, “I…I know. If you want to be closer with Kert just do it. You'd know better than me about trusting them and…I'm doing the same.”

“What?” Rich questioned surprised.

“…I want to believe Reese. Everything they do is so _genuine_. I want to believe them. And after the mall…we talked a lot. They shared with me how they were feeling and how they felt about what Kert was going through. They care, and I…” Michael didn't know how to fully describe it to make the other understand. Reese and him had a strange connection, one that let them be honest with each other because they didn’t care how the other saw them. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. They agreed to rely on each other more and to stop doubting. It was hard to ask, and almost impossible to completely disappear, but it forced them to try and __trust__. They’d just keep going in circles if they both didn’t give in and lean on each other. So that’s what they agreed to do.

“…You don’t hate them?” Rich asked slowly, brows furrowed in confusion. Michael was quiet for a moment.

“…Not anymore,” he confessed, “How can I? Not when they're…”

“Crazy different?” the shorter offered. Michael nodded.

“…The idea of not seeing them everyday…is weird. I'm so used to hearing them and seeing them or just being __near__  them that…what's that going to be like? When they're gone?” he asked quietly.

“Kert's not leaving,” Rich said flatly, crossing his arms defiantly.

“Rich-”

“No. They said they’re staying. There's no reason to go, anyways. They're my Tic Tac, they should  _ _stay__  with me. What if the bad guys come back? And they drink alcohol? Who's gonna be there? No, they're staying with me. They’re safe with me.”

“…I told Reese they could stay too, but…they still want to leave. I don’t understand why,” Michael pondered, looking at his feet. Why…

“Michael!” The teen froze when he heard his name from the familiar voice. He barely had time to look over his shoulder before he was engulfed in a tight embrace.

“Jeremy!” he exclaimed surprised, stunned still. Jeremy wasn’t usually one to be so forward or physical, but there he was clinging to him.

“Yo, Jer, what's up?” Rich questioned confused. Jeremy barely loosened his grip on his friend as he sent a nasty glare towards the smallest teen. Both Michael and Rich were surprised by the response - it was completely uncharacteristic of him. That is until Michael realized the last he saw Jeremy was at the party.

“Jer,” he called quietly, gaining his best friend's concerned attention, “Everything's okay.”

“No, it's not,” Jeremy argued.

“Jeremy.”

“No. Don’t hide from me,” the taller teen hugged his friend tight again, “I’m here, okay? I…I wont ask. Just…don’t hide.” Though Michael smiled warmly, his heart tightened. He was hurting Jeremy again. Slowly he patted his friend on the back, accepting the embrace.

“Jeremy…I know its been weird, but…I'm okay now. Rich and I are okay, and…I'm not alone,” he assured.

“How?” Jeremy asked, not believing anything the shorter was telling him.

“Rich and I talked, and before that I had someone to talk to about it - they helped me out. Really, I’m okay.”

“Who?”

“Michael,” Rich warned, his eyes darting between the two wearily.

“It doesn't matter who. I'm okay, really,” Michael assured, taking a step back from his friend.

“Michael,” his name sounded so strained. Jeremy looked so torn. It was clear he wanted to know, to ask what's happening, to not be left out of the loop. Michael felt guilty for not saying anything more.

“Jeremy…” he glanced at Rich. Rich was looking at the two intently, shaking his head when he gained the teen's attention. Michael knew it'd be unfair after all the fighting they did to just confess to Jeremy, especially when he said he'd wait until Reese knew more. But that look in Jeremy's eyes…

“I promise you'll know soon. Just…not now,” he offered quietly. Jeremy bit his lip, debating what to say. In the end he said nothing, looking up when the bell rung and then reluctantly leaving. Rich gave a concerned look to his friend before also departing, leaving Michael by himself. Well, not completely alone. He fished his phone out of his pocket…

~oOo~

“You know it’s difficult to talk and type, Michael,” Reese pointed out as they leaned against the counter, using their good hand to type as they balanced the phone between their broken hand and shoulder.

“Put the phone on speaker, then.”

“That’s for the intelligent, Michael. I choose to be difficult.” This earned a laugh from the teen which the SQUIP cherished. They waited till it subsided, “Listen, it'd be better to tell him sooner than later.”

“I know, it's just…”

“…Complicated?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, at the very least, you should give him a deadline. It could ease the tension between you if he knows exactly how long he has to wait until you tell him the truth.”

“…I guess…but when? When would be a good time?” the teen's voice asked.

“I have no answer. I doubt I’ll be able to find the kind of information you expect me to have about my situation anytime soon, so I leave it up to you and Rich,” the SQUIP answered. Michael sighed.

“Fine, I'll ask him when I get back.”

“Getting your famous lunch?”

“Famous?”

“Please, Michael, don’t be naïve.”

“Yes, I'm getting my ‘famous' lunch. I’m buying it now.”

“I assume I'll get another phone call from you before you leave school to continue this conversation.”

“For sure…Wait, are you hanging up?”

“Usually I leave that to you.”

“Just…hang on, I got another two minutes or something before I get back in the car.”

“Alright,” the computer smiled. They loved the idea that the teen didn’t want to hang up the phone. They had to admit they didn't want to either.

_Synchronizing _…__

Reese paused. Someone was near.

_Synchronizing…Synchronizing…Synchronizing – signal lost._

“Reese?” Michael's voice called through the phone. The SQUIP blinked.

“Michael,” they breathed.

“I was asking how much Mountain Dew you have left. Do I need to buy more?”

“No. No, it's…it's fine.”

“…Are you okay?”

“…I felt something.”

“Like, something serious? Or should I be making a joke about a robot feeling?”

“…I felt another SQUIP.”

“Wha – Reese!  _Don’t say that over the phone!_ ” Michael hissed. Reese shook their head, running a hand through their hair.

“My apologies.”

“Are you sure it’s them?”

“Without a shadow of a doubt, but…I didn’t get a chance to identify them. They moved out of my range too fast. But…I believe I've synchronized with them before. They had a familiar signature.”

“What does that mean? Do we do something? Is it dangerous?”

“I don’t know,” the SQUIP answered honestly, “For now stay alert. Try to avoid talking about this as much as you can in public. Our safe house is here.”

“How do I know if they’re near me?” the teen asked concerned.

“You wont, so be careful. Only Kert and I can identify our kin.”

“All the more reason to hide at home.”

“It’s not a bad solution. We have fun. Last night was fun.”

“All we did was watch Hamilton. _Twice_.”

“And had an amazing time.”

“You really liked it, didn’t you? Wait till Christine finds out.”

“You’re going to actually tell her?”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m…me?”

“She doesn’t know that. Who cares? She'll probably love to hear you liked it. I bet she'll even bring it up before I do.”

“If you're sure.”

“I am. Anyways, I got to go, Reese. Let me know if something happens, okay? I'll call you soon.”

“I'll count the minutes.”

~oOo~

“No way!” Christine giggled, jumping up and down in excitement in front of the teen, “He liked it? Really?”

“Loved it,” Michael confirmed, grinning at the girl as he readjusted his bag on his back.

“I’m so happy! I knew you'd both like it! I knew it!” she squealed, latching onto the other's arm in a friendly hug. Michael laughed awkwardly, trying not to let his discomfort show, as they made their way out of the school.

“You turned us into theatre peeps!” he exclaimed dramatically, earning another giggle.

“Good! You should come to our school play, then!”

“School play?” Michael echoed with furrowed brows. He completely forgot that most of his friends were in the play. He supposed he had to go, he promised Jeremy he would despite the obvious pain it’d bring.

“Yeah! Remember? Romeo and Juliet with Vampires?” Christine reminded.

“Right…”

“You're coming, right?”

“Yeah, I promised Jeremy I would.”

“Good! You can bring Reese too! I bet he'd like it.” Michael froze.

“Oh, uh…yeah, I don’t think they'll be able to come,” he quickly excused, glancing away.

“Why not?” Christine questioned with a pout.

“They have a life too, you know? Can’t assume they'll be free,” he lied.

“Oh, well invite him anyways! He was really nice - and Kert too! I should tell Rich to invite him just in case he forgets,” the girl beamed. Michael laughed awkwardly.

“I’m sure he'll remember.” Honestly if Jeremy wasn't going to be there he wouldn’t object to inviting Reese. They’d probably get a good laugh out of it and would make the whole situation better. It's easier to return to the place where everything went to hell with the one who caused it on your side. But Jeremy invited him, and to the after-party too, so he can’t.

As they exited the school and descended the front steps the teen looked around for Rich. He hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to him alone at lunch and, honestly, he avoided his friend's table all together. He didn’t want to talk to everyone just yet. His eyes went to his car and he froze, immediately paling. There, all around it, was his friends.

“What the fuck,” he cursed, the words coming out in a slow drawl. Christine frowned before following his gaze. Her eyes widened.

“Oh, shit,” she cursed, surprising her companion. “I guess you can't take the bus home, huh?” she said with slight teasing. Michael let out an uncomfortable laugh.

“Nope.”

“That’s not fair, they can't do that. Want me to beat them up?” Christine offered, puffing out her chest defensively. Michael shook his head with a more genuine laugh.

“No, it's okay. I can do this,” he answered, though his voice wasn’t as confident as he’d hoped. Christine nodded, but he could tell by the determined glint in her eyes that she wasn’t going to leave his side. She just instantly bumped up to rival Rich as his next best friend after Jeremy. He was damn well going to the school play now.

Taking a deep breath he motioned for Christine to follow him as they headed down the stairs towards his car. He couldn't stop his body from fidgeting in nervousness, his one hand playing with the zipper of his sweater for some form of comfort. Without realizing it he zipped the hoodie down a third to give himself some more air…and confidence. His free hand squeezed his phone tight in his pocket, the motion giving him a little bit more comfort. In a worse case scenario he could always put his phone on speaker in the car and rant about how shitty everything is on the way home. Reese would find that amusing.

“Michael!” Chloe called as he slowly approached the vehicle. She was standing by the driver’s door, a nervous Brooke beside her. Jenna sat not too far away on the floor near Jeremy, resting their backs against the vehicle as they waited for him to arrive. On the hood of the car sat Jake and Rich, the later immediately giving a look of guilt. Michael sighed.

“Stealing my car?” he asked sarcastically.

“Yeah right,” Chloe snorted, “We're…here to apologize.” The words were obviously forced, it probably physically hurt her pride to admit she was wrong. “We shouldn’t have spied on you…or said you and Rich were dating.”

“Rich,” Jake called warningly.

“What? I already apologized! Tell them, Michael,” Rich urged, looking at him as though he might be wrong.

“He did,” Michael confirmed, moving his hand from his zipper to his backpack strap.

“We're really sorry, Michael,” Brooke reiterated, “If you need anything…”

“I'm fine,” he dismissed, desperately wanting to hop in his car and drive away before continuing anymore of this awkward conversation.

“We want to make it up to you. Right, everyone?” Chloe looked around for confirmation. They each gave a nodded - some more eagerly than others - except for Jeremy, who sat quietly watching.

“How?” Michael asked, trying to keep his focus on the popular girl.

“By treating you! We're going to the mall tomorrow after school and you're coming with us,” she beamed. The male gave a flat look.

“…Seriously?”

“Kinda, yeah. We all want to go __together__  and we can’t do that without you. If you want we can plan a real ‘kiss your ass till you forgive us' later, but right now that’s it,” she huffed. Michael had to resist the urge to sigh loudly.

“Come on, it'll be fun, Mell,” Jenna encouraged, putting her phone down to give him her full attention. He wanted to point out to her that they said the same thing about the party, but that was hitting below the belt…or was it?

“Fine,” he finally conceded. He really didn’t want to go but he needed this awkwardness to end sooner rather then later. Forcing a group outing might just speed up that process…he hoped.

A hug around his arm pulled his attention to Christine. “We'll go to that game store together! That'll be fun, right?” she encouraged, her eyes full of worry and support. He couldn’t help smiling at her. She didn't play video games much but she knew he did. She really was the nicest person he knew. Jeremy was lucky to have her…

_“What did Christine tell you?”_

_“It's more what she didn't say.”_

_“And that was…?”_

_“…I don’t believe she's happy with Jeremy.”_

_“What?”_

_“I have no doubt she likes him as a friend. But boyfriend?”_

_“You haven't seen them together, you don't know.”_

_“…If you insist.”_

He had tried not to think about what Reese said. There was no proof that she was unhappy. But, then again, he hasn't heard her talk animatedly to Jeremy as she had the SQUIPs - or even him - at all recently. Even now she wasn’t attempting to be near him. Was that normal for couples?

“Shit, yeah! We should totally go!” Rich beamed, cutting through Michael’s thoughts.

“Then it’s settled! We're going,” Chloe concluded. The teen sighed but nodded. To his relief his friends started moving away from his car. “Everyone meet here tomorrow, got it?”

“ _Here?_ ”

“Roger that,” Jenna confirmed as she walked away, eyes now glued to her phone. Chloe and Brooke followed after her, the former clearly not wanting to hear Michael’s ‘no’.

“Well, see you tomorrow, Mikey! I’m going home with Jake,” Rich excused with a quick wave. Michael nodded his head and gave a small wave to Jake as the two males left. His eyes then went to Jeremy as the teen stood.

“I'll, uh…leave you two alone, then,” Christine offered before leaving herself. Michael wanted to protest but it was probably best for him and Jeremy talk alone. Jeremy kicked the ground a little as he looked at his feet.

“Michael, I…I don’t know what's going on, or…”

“Jeremy,” Michael cut in, his voice soft. He had meant to stop Rich from leaving so they could decide what to do with their taller friend, but with that opportunity gone he'd have to make the decision himself. “I…I really want to tell you…I do, and you're my best friend. I really want your help, but I don’t know how to tell you…How to make you __believe__ me.”

“I'll believe you. I'm here for you, Michael. You…You don’t have to hide from me,” his friend assured, deep concern in his eyes.

“I know…I was just trying to protect you, but now…I'm scared of what you'll think.”

“Nothing can change that you're my best friend.” That sent both a wave of warmth and a dagger through his heart. Because he believed him. He believed that was true. And yet…

__“_ Get out my way, ****Loser****.”_

Just like Reese he couldn't believe they were the same person. That Jeremy and that SQUIP were like a dream, a twisted reality that didn’t make sense in his world. How could they be so genuine now when in the past they both hurt him? How?

“…Can you give me a little time? I need to…to figure this all out. How to tell you, how to…how to _fix_ this,” he confessed. Jeremy pressed his lips together, but slowly he nodded.

“I just…Promise you'll call me if you're hurt. I don't want you to be alone,” he insisted, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Michael smiled.

“I'm not alone, but…I promise. You're my best friend.” Jeremy returned his smile and they hugged. Michael couldn’t help gripping onto his friend tight. It had been so long since he got to be this close with him, to get comforted by him. The shorter teen had been doing everything on his own, even before Reese. He never wanted to concern his friend, especially when Jeremy was suffering from the effects the SQUIP had on him. How could he bother him? Especially when Jeremy's internal wounds were so new, how could he ask him to help? Maybe he should have, maybe then he wouldn’t have done what he did. He backed himself into a corner and purposefully cut himself off from his friends. He made himself feel alone. If he had just said something maybe he would have realized he wasn't. But even still he can’t forget the reason he distanced himself off to begin with. He couldn't tell himself it was unreasonable or else everything he's done up until now would have been for nothing. He wont be able to look at himself again if he does, or help himself get better.

“Want to do something tonight?” He heard Jeremy ask in his ear. He let out a sad sigh.

“I can't, I have guests at home,” he declined, slowly pulling away.

“We can play at my house,” Jeremy offered, keeping his hands on the shorter's shoulders. Michael fidgeted.

“I don’t know…” It's not as though he couldn't leave Reese at home alone. The SQUIP might actually like that he could find information on Jeremy's life. And he hasn’t hung out with Jeremy by himself in so long…

“Just a few hours, I promise,” the taller teen swore, eagerness in his eyes. Michael cracked a smile.

“A few hours.”

~oOo~

Reese huffed as they watched the clock in the corner of their screen intently. “He's never coming back at this rate,” they grumbled, burying their face more into their crossed arms. They had decided shortly before to stare at their tablet on the ground, lying half on the bean chair and half on the floor, as they waited for Michael’s return. They’re beginning to regret it.

 _ _“_ It's been two hours,_” Kert’s voice chastised in their mind.

“Two hours too long.”

“ _You do realize that you're the reason he doesn't spend time with Jeremy anymore. Give them the night._ ” Reese sighed. Kert was right, they were being selfish. Michael deserves the chance to spend time with his friends _outside_ of SQUIP talk. Besides, to be able to finally know if Jeremy was doing alright without a shadow of a doubt would mean so much to them. But still…

“ _Do you want to watch TV? I think we need a new show to compete over _,__ ” Kert offered. Reese grinned. They had to admit watching crime shows with Kert was beyond amusing, both fighting over who they think the killer is. One of their favourite pastimes.

“I’d love to, but you should be really paying attention to your human. He's going to notice you're eye glowing,” they reminded.

“ _He'll be fine, I don’t think he cares anymore. Besides, you're more of a priority right now._ ”

“Why's that?”

“ _You're getting heavily attached to Michael._ ”

“Overstatement.”

“ _It's not. I'm worried about you, just as much as you are for me. _”__  Reese sighed.

“Don't. Focus on yourself, you're still recovering. I can take care of myself, you don't need to parent me.”

“ _As your senior SQUIP I do, and I want to._ ”

“I appreciate the gesture but it's unnecessary.”

“ _Will it still be unnecessary when Michael tells Jeremy the truth?_ ” Reese was quiet. When they got no response Kert continued, “ _What will you do, Blue, if Michael decides to send you home with Jeremy?_ ”

“…He'd ask me first. We agreed the safest place for me right now is here,” Reese answered slowly.

“ _And if he says it'd be easier if you stayed with Jeremy? _”__

“…”

“ _That's what concerns me. You must see how attached you are to Michael. If he's not there, what will you do?_ ”

“…It won't be forever. Michael would never throw me to Jeremy and just disappear. He'll always be nearby, and when this is all over…”

“ _…If all goes as planned, there wont be a ‘when this is all over'. We won’t be able to go back to our humans whenever we please, not if we want to protect them. By the time we can…they'll have long moved on_. _ _”__  Reese glared at the floor, eyes watering. They were so conflicted. To continue on as they were would be doing what’s ‘right’, but…doing what’s ‘right’ hurt. They closed their eyes.

“...And if I did this alone?” they questioned. It was silent.

“ _No._ ”

“Kert.”

“ ** _No._** ”

“Kert, listen. Rich _wants_ you. He wants you to stay, you __promised__  you'd stay.”

“ _If he really wants me he'll wait for me…Either way I'm not going to let you go alone. Absolutely not. You wont last a day._ ”

“Ouch.”

“ _We're not discussing this._ ”

“At least consider it. You could be my guy in the chair, you don’t have to be in the field.”

“ _No. Did you forget what happened last time we escaped that place? You were dead on your feet. If not for me you would have been caught and sent straight back there. I'm staying with you._ ” Reese sighed.

“I can't believe you'd risk everything you have with Rich just to protect me.”

“ _That's what we do. You'd do the same for me in a heartbeat._ ” The SQUIP was quiet but gave a small nod, turning their gaze back to the clock. He still wasn’t back…

“…Do you think it was foolish to confide in Michael?” they asked slowly.

“ _You haven't told him anything we agreed to keep a secret. Anything else is completely understandable. What I'm concerned for is what’s happening now. Getting withdrawals from being separated from him for a short amount of time. You've made him your new Jeremy _.__ ”

“He's not my new Jeremy!”

“ _You know what I meant._ ”

“It's not like that. Michael wouldn't let me SQUIP him. Everything is based on real human emotions…aren't they?”

“ _Objectively it seems that way but there's definitely SQUIP influence, which is unavoidable. But this is getting dangerous, Reese. Believe me when I say I understand, I’m the same with Rich. But Rich and I spend every moment together, and when we’re not our minds are still lightly connected. You don’t have that assurance, nothing is calming you. The phone calls were enough before but now that he’s not calling…Reese, you need to find a way to distance yourself from him. We both know that when Jeremy comes into the picture everything will change. You need to find a way to calm yourself. Pushing your luck further with Michael isn’t going to help you. _”__  Reese was silent.

“…Pay attention to Rich, he's noticed you.” They felt Kert's mind shift focus and they let out a sigh. They really have lost their mind. It was true, just two hours was sending him over the edge. Was it so wrong to hate being alone? To hate the silence? To enjoy Michael’s company and presence? Was it that possessive? It’s not as though he was forcing Michael to do anything, he made his own choices always. But they could see the concern. Kert was right, when Jeremy finds out…

Not knowing what to do, or when the teen would return, they decided to distract themselves from their chaotic mind. They turned on the bootleg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, this chapter was doing a lot of damage control between Michael and his friends, much less eventful than last time. But don't worry! This is all setup for the gear kicker that is the next chapter (yes, I'm already cruising through it)! I won't stop writing till I get to that point, so I'm either going to get there at a comfortable length or a crazy long chapter is going to happen again like the Mountain Dew phone call incident. We'll find out!


	16. Pitiful Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Michael,” they whispered brokenly, covering their mouth as a vulnerable sound tried to escape their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this chapter got so long I had to cut it in half. Now I'm two and half chapters ahead, how'd this happen? But it worked out perfectly! This whole scene really should be on its own. Hope you guys like it :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

_“That’s not what I wanted!”_

_“It’s the **only** way to achieve what you want.” They were annoyed – no, mad - no,  **frustrated**. Why wont he listen? Doesn’t he see the problem? **They’re** the problem: his peers. This will fix everything. Everything will be better if he just listens. Everything will be wonderful, it'll be just what he wanted. He just needs to  **listen** to them._

_“You're a **computer** ,” the emphasis feels like a dagger through their heart, “There has to be a way to turn you off!” A computer. **Just** a computer. An item - a toy - a **thing** to be bought and owned. Were they nothing more to him? Were they not more than a machine? Even now, away from their coding, were they not more than just a processor? If Jeremy won’t see it, who will? No, he **will**  see it. He **will** see that they’re right!_

_“I would stop there,” they advised, their voice almost a dare for him to continue as their eyes narrowed. They tsked, “You don't want to end up like Rich.” Rich…The boy who burned everything down just to get rid of one computer. To get rid of Kert._

_Kert…That name…that name was new. Kert was new. So was Reese. But that was their names. But not yet, not here, so how…_

_“That's it! Green Mountain Dew activates you, red shuts you off!” Their stomach fills with dread even as they spat out their automated response._

_“Why do you think we had it discontinued? To get rid of me now you'd need a time machine to the 1990s!” Or…_

_“Or a friend who’s so old school he buys ‘90s soft drinks from a back room at a Spencer's gifts!” Michael…Michael wouldn’t…Yes…Yes he would. Why wouldn’t he? Because…Because he cares. Yes, he must. He must care. He wants them to be safe, he wants to protect them. He said that…didn’t he?_

_“Why would I say that?” Michael’s voice questioned. Did he make his entrance? They didn’t hear it. And yet, Michael was there. “You're an evil computer. You hurt Jeremy.”_

_“I helped him,” they defended, their voice sounding more confident than they felt. Did they help him? If Christine breaks up with him, everything would have been for nothing. They would have failed. So what **did** they do for him?_

_“You hurt him. He hates you. He's glad you’re gone. He talks about it all the time with Rich. You heard him.”_

_“Not all the time…”_

_“You can't even admit to yourself that he doesn’t want you. No one does. How many times do you need to hear it before you get it?” They shook their head._

_“You're lying, Michael. I know you care. I know you want me, just say it!”_

_“Why would I want you? You’d just hurt me too, just like then. Or SQUIP me. Is that what you want? To SQUIP me? To make me part of your little hive-mind? To turn me into a doll for you to dress up and fuck around with?”_

_“No-"_

_“To make me your new Jeremy?”_

_“No! Stop it! You’re not Jeremy!”_

_“And when Jeremy finally drowns you for hurting him, for hurting **me** , do you really think I'll come and save you? After all you’ve done?” They were silent._

_“You…You said-"_

_“I said I would never forgive you. Why would I? I don’t want you, I never did. Everything’s for him, it always has been. I want you **dead**.” They can't breathe. He's lying. He's lying. Stop. Don’t. Why cant they breathe? Why cant they see?_

_“You know the truth. **They’re** the only ones who'd want a piece of road trash like you. They're coming for you.” Two bright lights trapped them in it’s field, getting bigger…and bigger… “Who will stop them?"_

_“Michael,” they choked. No. No, stop. Don’t. Please, don’t. Don’t let them._

_A paralyzing shock jolted through their body, sending them crashing to the ground in excruciating pain. That feeling. No. Jeremy wouldn't. He wouldn't. No, he wouldn’t drink…No, don’t. Don’t do it. Don’t deactivate them. Don’t kill them. Don’t. Please. No. No. No. No. No. No. No._

_“Everything about you is so terrible.” Jeremy's voice rang in their ears as their body convulsed in uncontrollable spasms, the two lights racing towards them with no way to escape, the shadow of the machine behind it following like a reaper of death. They could hear Michael whisper:_

_“Everything about you makes me want to **die**.”_

~oOo~

Michael let out a happy sigh as he entered the house. He hadn't had a stress free night like that with Jeremy in so long. His friend did his best to not question him and kept it nice and light, just what Michael needed. He needed Jeremy in his life. His friend always knew how to cheer him up and balance out all the bad in his life. Well, almost always. He couldn’t be more happier. He was almost tempted to stay longer, Jeremy's dad invited him for dinner, but even if Reese could function without him it would be insensitive to leave them for so long without more notice. Besides, going home wasn’t a distressing thought anymore. He was actually looking forward to it.

The teen had a small skip in his step as he hopped down the basement stairs. “Reese?” he called half-way down. He paused, a small frown gracing his lips when no response came. Moving a few more steps down he saw why. Reese had fallen asleep on their beanie chair, head resting against crossed arms as their hood draped over their head to block out the lights above. Michael grinned. The SQUIP was wearing the hoodie he bought them. He was happy to see how much the computer actually liked it. He was tempted to take a picture and send it to Rich for bragging purposes - and as a funny/cute photo to embarrass Reese with later - but he didn’t. No, he didn’t think the computer would find it that funny…not yet.

Walking down the rest of the stairs his grin grew when he heard the familiar music playing from the SQUIP's tablet, lulling them to sleep. He quietly walked over to the computer, immediately noticing that they were curled up to themselves, trembling from their dropped body heat, as they tried keeping warm. He quickly grabbed the nearest blanket and carefully draped it over them, being careful not to wake them. The last thing he needed was for them to get sick again from poor care-giving. Lastly he pressed the pause button on the video to create silence for the sleeping SQUIP. Or so he thought.

“Don’t,” a quiet voice mumbled. Michael’s brows furrowed, eyes locking onto the computer. Reese was talking in their sleep again. This wasn’t the first time it’s happened, the SQUIP occasionally spoke during their naps, but it was rare. He wondered if they sensed he was there. Carefully he attempted to push the computer’s hood back. Having buried their face in their crossed arms their hood was blocking out any other access to fresh air. As he did so his heart froze when he noticed the distressed look over their face. Their brows were furrowed and their breaths came out in short pants, small tear streaks trailing down their cheeks. The trembling wasn’t from the cold.

“Reese,” he call immediately, shaking the computer’s shoulder to wake them. To his surprise their eyes snapped open instantly and their whole body jerked to life. In a blink of an eye they were far from Michael, having shoved their body off the ground with enough force to send them toppling onto their back. They let out a startled gasp as they hit the floor. “Shit, Reese!” Michael exclaimed, crawling over to help them. Seeing the teen in their peripheral the computer immediately scrambled to sit up and pulled themselves away before he could reach them.

“Don’t!” the SQUIP choked, bring a hand up to defend themselves as they continued to shift away. Michael froze, lifting his own hands up to assure them he meant no harm. The action seem to still them, even if their eyes stayed wide in high alert.

“Hey, it's okay. It's me,” he soothed. Reese stared at him for a long moment, still panting from the exertion as they processed their surroundings. Slowly they lowered their hand.

“Michael,” they whispered. Though they seemed to have a grip on reality, the terror and panic in their eyes barely faded.

“It’s okay - _You’re_ okay. It’s safe. It was just a dream, you were sleeping,” Michael informed gently, cautiously shifting forwards. Reese’s eye’s flared up frantically again as they shifted back, freezing the teen in place once more. “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you,” Michael assured, his concern only deepening for the SQUIP. Reese shook their head at him, curling up to themselves as they tried unsuccessfully to calm their breathing. Despite their attempts their breathing became more staggered and their eyes welled up with tears.

“Michael,” they whispered brokenly, covering their mouth as a vulnerable sound tried to escape their lips.

“I’m here,” Michael soothed, though he found it hard not to let his own emotions leak into his voice, “It’s okay. Just breathe. You’re okay.” The SQUIP shook their head again, shutting their eyes tight as their body shook more violently as they tried holding back the sobs that were fighting to get out. The teen felt his own eyes glistening at seeing the awful sight and not being able to get near them to help.

“Reese,” he called gently, “It’s okay, don’t hold it back. You’re allowed to feel, no one will know. It’s okay.”

“No. No. No.” Reese whispered frantically to themselves, burying their face in their knees. “Pitiful. Pitiful. Stop. Terrible. Stop. Don’t.” Michael stared wide eyed at the SQUIP. What was happening? Quietly he shifted closer hoping they wouldn’t notice, and they didn’t. They were too focused on their nonsensical ramblings to realize he had gotten close enough to fully hear their muffled voice. “Defect. Wrong. Wrong. Stop. Don’t. Terrible.” The teen was lost on words. He had no idea what was happening. All he could think of was how similar it sounded to Jeremy after the SQUIP deactivated, mumbling dark mantras under his breath after the nightmares he had. But instead they were broken words, things that he couldn’t put together or understand. Except for…

“Terrible. Terrible. Everything about me is so terrible.” Michael’s heart froze. The phrase he heard his best friend mumble at night, repeating to himself as though he’d be punished if he didn’t. The phrase the SQUIP taught him to remind him of how awful he was, that he was nothing without them, now being repeated by… “Everything about me makes me…makes me…” Reese finally broke, letting out the sob that they were trying so hard to hold back. Then teen could only stare, eyes watering as he watched the computer cry. If he said something, if they realized he was there, would they try to run? Would they get violent? Would they let him help? What could he even do to help? He didn’t understand, he didn’t know what was wrong. But if he did nothing…

Michael bit his lip as he hesitantly stood. Quietly stepping away from the computer to make sure they didn’t hear him he quickly left the room, only to return with an item from the SQUIP’s bedroom. Trying to be louder so Reese wouldn’t be startled he knelt back beside them and laid the item around their shoulders, flipping the hood over to cover their head. The SQUIP made a choked sound as they looked up to see what he’d done. Seeing the colours of their own jacket around them they stared at Michael in shock.

“I thought you might want your security sweater,” the teen answered the unasked question, his voice soft. He could tell his response almost sent another wave of tears down the computer’s face, but the SQUIP quickly moved to wipe them away before they could fall.

“I-I’m sorry,” they apologized, sniffing as they tried composing themselves, “It…I-It was just a dream.”

“A nightmare, I hope,” Michael corrected as he sat down comfortably beside them, “Otherwise I’m terrified of your dreams.” Reese let out a small noise like a bitter laugh, continuing to try and wipe their tears away unsuccessfully. Michael opened his mouth to continue but quickly closed it, biting the inside of his cheek. After a moment of careful thinking he spoke, “Was that - uh…your first nightmare?” The SQUIP was silent as they glanced away guiltily. Michael’s eyes widened in concern, “…This isn’t a constant thing, right?”

“No,” Reese mumbled, relaxing their body slightly as they focused on their breathing, “No, it…Don’t worry about it, Michael. It’s irrelevant.”

“That was _not_  irrelevant, Reese. That was scary. You really freaked me out, I had no idea what was happening. I still don’t,” the teen confessed, worry in his voice.

“It was a nightmare. Very common,” the SQUIP replied quietly.

“Reese, that was more than a nightmare. You completely freaked out - you were mumbling shit to yourself!”

“Not uncommon-”

“You were insulting yourself, Reese!”

“…I have no words for you, Michael,” Reese whispered, shutting the conversation down. Michael stared at them. Why were they dismissing him like that? He thought they were finally opening up to him, he thought he agreed to do this with them. Were they that terrified that they were pretending the last few minutes never happened? Did they not realize how dangerously they reacted? Did they always act like this when they got nightmares? Was he just discovering a common occurrence for them? Or was this something new? Something even they couldn’t explain? Whatever it was it needed to end. He couldn’t let it go. If he did and it happened again…

“…Well, I’m not done.” Letting out a long breathe, Michael looked at the ground, “…I get it, Reese, it’s scary. I used to have nightmares a lot too…I still do. About…About losing Jeremy…and being left alone.” The SQUIP looked at him with wide eyes. The teen took a moment to prepare himself before he continued, “Before you came along, Jeremy and I use to tell each other everything. Whenever we had a nightmare we’d wake each other up and sleep in the living room together. It made it easier to fight the nightmares if we were together. If one of us couldn’t sleep we’d play video games until we could. But everything changed. I can’t tell him about my nightmares anymore because…it was about him. I didn’t want him to feel guilty, or to shut himself away from me. He needed me. He was a wreck and needed to be convinced that we still cared about him, and that we forgave him. He didn’t need to know about how I felt. He probably reminds himself everyday about it, I didn’t need to fuel it. He needed help, not me. But that wasn’t true…If I had just told him…If I opened up…If I didn’t cut myself off from him…I wouldn’t have felt so alone, and I wouldn’t have…” He looked at his wrists for a moment before quietly putting his hands in his pockets, letting out a shaky breath. He could see in his peripheral the SQUIP watching him intently.

“…I regret not telling him. If I had we wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t be hiding things or hurting him…or hurting you. He should be the one here right now, not me. I’ve been trying to protect him all this time but I’m not, am I? I know now that you’d never hurt him…When you were a SQUIP, sure, but not now. You’re…You’re not a bad person. And I know Jeremy would be able to help you in ways I can’t. You’re connected and you care about him more than anything. I know you’d accept his help. Rich and Kert are the same way…and I know I’m not Jeremy. But I’m here, okay? I said I would be. I know you don’t want to push boundaries, or want me to be your ‘everything’ or whatever. I get it, you want Jeremy or nothing at all, it makes it easier for you to do your SQUIP shit without feeling bad. If you don’t want to tell me, fine, that’s your choice. But don’t…don’t hide. Don’t block it out. You don’t have to. You have Kert you can talk to, or me. I don’t want to go back to square one, we did a lot to get here. So…don’t hide it. Don’t make the same mistake I did…” Reese was silent as they thought over all he said. Michael fidgeted under their gaze, wondering if being vulnerable with the SQUIP was the right thing to do.

“…Once again, you misunderstand,” Reese finally mumbled. Michael looked at them surprised.

“…What?”

“I never said I wanted Jeremy or nothing at all. Yes, things would have been different if he was here - I’d be a very different human. But I don’t regret this choice. This made more sense in every aspect, and it created a relationship between us that would have been non existent if I had gone to Jeremy first. And that…is the reason I don’t want to talk,” they confessed quietly.

“…What do you mean?” Reese didn’t answer. When it was clear they weren’t going to Michael let out a sigh, “Fine.” He had to give them space.

The teen and the computer continued to sit in silence as the later fully regained their composure. Though their body relaxed they remained in their curled up position, letting the presence of the shorter male sooth their mind. Michael relaxed back on his hands as he waited for the SQUIP to recover. He hated that the conversation just ended once again, not moving forward but instead moving back, bringing between them another wall to break down. He wondered if he’d ever permanently break down the SQUIP’s walls. He thought he had at one point since the computer began freely discussing how they felt or what was on their mind. But something always happened that brought those walls back up. Why he fought so hard to break them he didn’t fully know, but he didn’t want Reese to start closing off from him again, not when they were finally showing vulnerability.

He sighed again before looking at the SQUIP. After another moment passed he spoke, “…Do you want to go look at the stars?” Reese cracked a small smile, looking at the teen with a mix of awe and gratitude in their eyes.

“No,” they quietly answered, though there was no bitterness or negativity in their voice.

“Do you want to hold my hand?” Michael asked as he held out his hand for the other to take. Reese stared at it startled for a moment. They seemed to debate their answer before hesitantly taking his hand in theirs with a small nod. Michael grinned, feeling a small victory at the accomplishment. He had to admit he sort of knew they wouldn’t decline the offer. Reese hadn’t lied when they said they liked the physical contact. The gesture always seemed to bring a strange calmness over them. He theorized that the SQUIP had been in a human mind for so long that it must feel weird not having a presence around them always. Maybe physical contact reminded them of the connection they used to have with another human being? Either way, it always seemed to help them. They didn’t hold hands often, but when they did it tended to be because Reese was trying to keep themselves level headed and Michael, admittedly, strategically did the same to keep the computer calm. It assured them he was there, and right now they needed that - and they were willing to accept it.

“…Michael?” Reese called quietly, eyes finding the floor.

“Yeah?”

“…Do you think Jeremy will try to kill me?” Michael's eyes blew wide.

“What?! Of course not! Why the hell would he do that?” he exclaimed bewildered.

“…Because he did before?” the SQUIP answered slightly confused, brows furrowed as if they didn’t understand why the teen didn't see the concern.

“That was different, Reese. You were a computer. You're human now,” Michael retorted, his voice firm. Reese tensed at the word ‘computer’.

“That didn’t stop you from wanting to kill me before. I know you would have tried if I disobeyed your orders,” they replied quietly, their voice barely a whisper.

“I didn't know Mountain Dew Red could **kill** you. I was just going to knock you out and…I don't know, dump you somewhere. Shit, that _does_ sound dark…Either way, Jeremy's not going to do that, okay? He wouldn’t. Even if he did I'd be right there anyways, and I’m __not__ going to let him kill you,” the teen assured.

“…And if he drinks it himself?” Michael paused, brows furrowed as he thought it over.

“…What would happen if he drank it?” he asked slowly.

“The same as it did before.”

“…So, you'd just turn off? But you're already turned off, so why are you worried? If it knocks you out I'll catch you,” Michael offered with a small teasing grin. Reese didn’t answer, eyes glued to the floor with watery eyes. The teen’s face fell. “…You don’t believe me?”

“…Jeremy never drank Mountain Dew Red.”

“Yes, he did.”

“No, he didn’t.” Michael opened his mouth to protest but paused. No, Christine drank it. Oh…

“So, if…Shit - I’ll stop him if he tries,” he finally answered.

“Will you?” Reese questioned, eyes moving to the teen.

“Of course I will,” the teen pressed, “Come on, Reese. You're more trusting than that.”

“…That's precisely the problem…I trust you too much…Kert believes I've become too attached, and I agree with them,” the SQUIP mumbled, looking away nervously.

“You're seriously listening to Kert? The SQUIP who's attached to __Rich__? Those two should __not__  be giving out advice about not getting attached,” Michael retorted with a scoff.

“They __are__  inseparable,” Reese agreed.

“Reese,” the teen locked eyes with them, “I won't let Jeremy kill you.” The SQUIP was silent as they stared at him. Slowly they nodded. Michael didn't think they believed him but it was enough for now. Shifting so they were sitting side by side he let their connected hands fully rest on the floor. “Hey,” he called gently, tugging on their hand to gain their attention after a few moments passed, “I'm sorry I was out so late.”

“Don’t apologize. I can survive without you…” Reese answered, their voice sounding hollow as if they didn’t fully believe what they said.

“I know it must have been driving you crazy knowing I was with Jeremy,” Michael prodded. Reese was silent. “Hey, it wont be much longer before you can see him. And he's doing okay, so you don’t have to worry. He's doing good.” The SQUIP still didn’t speak and that concerned him. He thought talking about Jeremy in general would cheer them up but it didn’t. Did they really believe Jeremy was a threat? After talking about how much they wanted to see him? Michael decided another change in topic would need to be used. Looking around the room for help his eyes landed on the tablet.

“…Do you wanna watch Hamilton?” The reaction was almost immediate as Reese's eyes snapped to him.

“…You…want to watch it?” they questioned hesitantly.

“Sure, can't have Christine beat us. But, then again, it looks like you watched half of it on your own already. Guess you might not want to watch it again,” he sighed, saying the last part dramatically, trying to hide the smirk tugging on his lips.

“Wha – I was sleeping! That doesn’t count! I'll re-watch it,” the SQUIP defended quickly. Michael let out a small laugh.

“Well, if you twist my arm.”

“I'll twist it right off.”

“Ouch.”

“My apologies. That was a little violent.”

“Only a little?”

“Hush.” Michael laughed as he stood, tugging the computer's arm to signal them to do the same. The SQUIP obeyed without question.

“Let's order food. I don’t feel like cooking and it'll cheer you up,” the teen offered, walking over to the phone with the computer in toll. Reese looked from their connected hands back to the teen.

“Alright,” they agreed slowly, their mind far away.

“Oh shit, before I forget, just a heads up: I was invited – or rather, forced – to go to the mall with everyone after school tomorrow. I wont be out as long as tonight, but still. Try not to nap tomorrow,” Michael warned, a slight teasing tone at the end. Reese froze, the sudden pause pulling the teen’s arm back and forcing him to stop. He looked back at the computer concerned and Reese quickly nodded to assure him they were alright.

“Of course. Enjoy yourself,” the SQUIP agreed hollowly. Michael could see the dread in their eyes.

“…Reese, you’ll be okay. It's just for a few extra hours, you do this everyday. It’s just a little longer.”

“…You're right.” Michael wasn't convinced.

“Reese, what's wrong?” he asked as he fully turned to face them. Reese stared at him for a long moment before shifting their gaze to floor.

“…It's nothing to concern yourself over. I will deal with it.”

“Reese, if something's wrong I want to know. If today wasn’t a fluke…”

“No - I mean, it was a fluke…I hope. I’m just…”

“…Be honest.”

“…I’m shaken. Any worries I had before has been amplified and…I’m fearful of it getting worse.”

“…Reese, if I asked…would you tell me what your nightmare was about?” Reese was silent. After a few moments passed Michael knew they weren’t going to answer and he let out a long sigh. “Alright, fine…Then-”

“It was about you…and Jeremy.” The teen blinked surprised, not expecting the SQUIP to give in, especially when they hadn’t before. Had they changed their mind? Or did they just not want to talk about what happened afterwards?

“What about us?”

“…I had just dreamed of the night of the play…but the ending was different,” Reese replied slowly, their voice wavering. Michael was quiet.

“…Did Jeremy drink Mountain Dew Red in your dream?” The SQUIP’s body tensed and that answered him. Michael’s face softened, “That’s why you were freaked out. Jeremy never did that, Reese.”

“He tried. If he had…”

“But he didn’t, and you’re here.”

“…You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. This is good - you’re sharing.”

“You’re right, even if…”

“Yeah, yeah. Even if it makes it harder for you to leave. I might convince you yet that you’re plan is stupid.”

“Regardless, it hasn’t changed.”

“Yet.” There was a small pause, “Hey, Reese?”

“Yes?”

“…You said I was in your dream too. Was I the same?” Reese froze again and the teen regretted asking. He had calmed them down and then he flared them up again. But he needed to know now. His brows furrowed, “…So…When you woke up…You were _actually_ scared of me? That wasn’t, like…dream fogginess?”

“It was,” Reese assured slowly, “I apologize, Michael. I wasn’t afraid of you. You didn’t _do_ anything to harm me in my dream. You only spoke to me.”

“About what?”

“It’s irrelevant. It was only a dream - it wasn’t real.”

“But-”

“It wasn’t real,” the SQUIP’s voice was firm. They sighed, trying to relax a little. “…If you’re being honest, and you really want to keep me here, then that’s all I need to know.”

“I am. It’s safe for you here.” Reese gave a small delayed nod.

“…I apologize for being very… _uncharacteristic_ today. I'll try to calm myself. I need to be… _less_ emotionally dependent on you. It's not healthy,” they apologized with a small bow of their head.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being dependent on me. You’ve never had to lean on someone before and you’re new to this. Having someone help is a good thing.”

“In moderation.”

“But still, don’t close off. If the few extra hours tomorrow is going to push your emotional limit…then let's fix that.” Reese's brows furrowed at the teen.

“How?”

“…Well, why not get a play date? A friend for you to hang out with,” Michael suggested.

“What?” He had to stifle a laugh at the confused expression the SQUIP made. He grinned.

“Kert. I'll invite Kert to come and hang out with you,” he explained plainly. Reese blinked.

“You'd let us be in the same room together?” they questioned bewildered. Michael shrugged.

“Why not? You two have been pretty good lately and even sat together at the mall without getting into __too__  much trouble. It's only for a few hours, anyways. I can drive Rich home after school and we can grab Kert and drop them off before we go. Will that help?” the teen asked. Reese thought about it for a moment before hesitantly nodding.

“Yes…that actually would,” they agreed with graciousness in their voice.

“Good! See? No need to freak out. I got you covered,” Michael grinned while picking the phone up with his free hand. Reese gave a small chuckle before giving a humourless smile.

“I must be truly defective if I couldn't find the solution on my own.” Michael’s brows furrowed at the word ‘defective’. Looking at the computer he smoothly answered:

“Well, humans _are_ defective.”

“Very true.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Who's ready for the next event to happen? Me.
> 
> Also:
> 
> "Or a friend who's so old school he buys '90s soft drinks from a back room at a Spencer's gifts!" GASP!
> 
> Haha, it really hurt not being able to write in the SQUIP's beautiful gasp. I had no choice but to write it here. It will not go unheard!


	17. Synchronizing…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Synchronizing…Synchronizing…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the time when these chapters used to be short? And it didn't take up my entire day to edit it? Those days were nice...back when poor Michael and Reese hated each other and had nothing to say. Now they can't stop talking. I love it, but it's ten o'clock and I'm wondering where my day went. It's partially my fault. This chapter's been sitting here for a week ready to be edited but I've been so focused on the next chapter to give it any attention. Not again! I say for now. Anywho...
> 
> Are you guys ready for more?
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

_“Are you certain?”_

_“I am.”_

_“And it’s who we’ve been looking for?”_

_“Yes. I recognized their signature, we’ve synced before.”_

_“How far are they?”_

_“Twenty minute walk. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact location, my bus moved before I could. But they’re in the area of their human.”_

_“They returned?”_

_“It seems so. How they’ve avoided detection for so long I don’t know. But we’ll find out soon enough.”_

_“When shall we leave?”_

~oOo~

“And then Madeline said-"

“Ugh, enough with Madeline! She's a hoe, we get it.”

“A hot hoe.”

“Oh, so long as she's hot it doesn't matter who she fucks, is that it?!”

“Seriously, Chloe?”

“And what about Jeremy? Huh? She fucked around with baby Jeremy and cheated on him, does that not matter?”

“A-Actually-"

“She did WHAT?! Where's that bitch?! No one fucks around with Jer Bear and gets away with it!” Michael rolled his eyes but chuckled when he saw the embarrassed look over his best friend’s face. Another lie from the SQUIP he hasn’t confessed to the group yet. Michael couldn’t find it in himself to be mad about it because it __was__  pretty funny watching Rich fume over Jeremy like that.

Everything has been going smoothly so far to Michael’s delight. School went relatively good – other than the asshole who pushed him into his locker, but Rich quickly chased the fucker away so it’s fine – and he successfully got his friends to go ahead of them to the mall so that he and Rich could get Kert over to his house. Now, he was allowed to enjoy himself. Well, as much as he was __going__  to enjoy himself. Being able to spend time with Jeremy was what really made his time fun. They were able to fully talk at the back of the group – actually talk! He thinks that all the drama with Rich has reminded the taller teen that they haven't really spent time together to talk in a long time and he's glad for the change. Yesterday they might have been able to hang out, but the list of things they didn’t get a chance to talk about was too long for one get together. They were best friends after all. Of course Christine popped in every once and a while to join in the conversation, but oddly enough spent most of her time talking with either Jenna or Jake. Rich, of course, got his chance to cut in as well, not being able to resist his ‘gaming nerds'. Michael didn't mind. This outing was one of the best friend outings he's had with this group so far. That was an amazing change.

Despite the good time they were having, whenever there was a moment where Jeremy's attention was taken by the other members, Michael couldn’t help let his mind wander over to the SQUIP at home. Yesterday had obviously freaked them out, but to be fair their nightmare had probably fueled their breakdown more than their time apart from each other. He had to admit he was tempted to call home to see how everything was going. He assumed Reese would be fine with Kert there, but then again if anyone was going to get themselves into trouble it would be those two in the same room.

“Hey, guys, I'm just gonna make a phone call,” Michael announced while holding up his cell phone for all to see, “I got some guests at home and I want to make sure they're okay.” All eyes snapped to him instantaneously, most reflecting suspicion, but no one accused him. They all knew from the party that _something_ was happening that required him to constantly call some unknown person, but his excuse was too natural for commentary.

“Well, hurry up then, the video store isn’t going to wait for us,” Chloe ushered with a wave of her hand, being the only one brave enough to speak. Michael nodded his head and stepped away from the group, dialing his house number in the process.

**RING…RING…**

“Michael!” Reese's voice exclaimed, sounding almost breathless on the other line.

“That's my name,” Michael teased with an awkward laugh, “Heh, scared me a bit there when you didn't pick up right away.”

“I apologize, I didn't think you'd call. I wasn't by the phone,” they quickly apologized.

“Why wouldn't I call? I always call.”

“Because you didn't when you were at Jeremy’s yesterday?”

“…Fair enough, I am now. I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Are you?”

“Yes, I’m okay. Kert is helping the time pass quickly.”

“Good. Are you two behaving?”

“No,” Kert's voice teased, their voice distant.

“Wha - Shut up! He’ll believe you!” Reese hissed, sounding muffled as though they were trying to cover the phone so the teen couldn’t hear their outburst. Michael rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

“What are you doing?” he questioned with a grin. Reese cleared their throat, their voice sounding loud again

“I'll give you three guesses,” they challenged.

“Please don't tell me your forcing Kert to watch Hamilton.”

“Wha – No! No, that’s just for us.” Michael opened his mouth to respond but found himself sputtering on his words. The SQUIP caught him off guard with that sincere - very inclusive - statement. He felt…flattered. Just for us…

Quickly he cleared his throat, “So, then, what? New crime show?”

“No, not today.”

“I give up then.”

“We’re playing your ‘ _Apocalypse of the Damned_ ’ game. You and Jeremy have great memories of it and it seemed to pose a great enough challenge with its old graphics and tedious game mechanics. We thought we’d give it a try.”

“Wow, really? Okay, just don’t break my system. Or save over our file!”

“First, we are super computers, we know how to take care of your game system better than you do __and__  have the capacity to fix it should it break. Second, your save file is fine.”

“Good…How far are you?”

“We only started a little while ago. We’re currently on level two.”

“Cool - a lot of zombies spawn on the left side, so be careful.”

“I remember from Jeremy, but either way I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And collect all the health packs! You’ll need it later.”

“I know all your strategies, Michael.”

“Right…”

“…But, then again, you’ve yet to pass level nine, am I correct?”

“No, Jeremy and I beat it after you were…you know. But we haven’t played it since cause Rich is always over, and…yeah.”

“Well, then…perhaps…we should play it sometime? Neither of us would know what comes after level nine and can discovery new strategies together. After all, I think it would be rude to pass your save point in this game, you deserve to see the ending first. Not as though we we’ll beat it tonight. There’s no way for Kert and I to make it that far in the small amount of time we have. Especially since I’m withholding information from them,” Reese offered. Michael’s eyes lit up and he couldn’t hold back the grin from his face. To finally beat…Apocalypse of the Damned? Hell yeah! That would be a dream come true! He had to admit he felt a little bit guilty at the idea of beating it with Reese instead of Jeremy, but it wasn’t as if he couldn’t play it again. Jeremy had his chance. And he hasn’t really played a video game with Reese yet, and that idea seemed beyond exciting to him. He has so much to teach them!

“Yeah, that’d be fun!” he beamed, suddenly excited.

“Yeah? I mean - Yes, it would. Besides, it’s only fair to do something you enjoy after I forced you to watch Hamilton so many times.”

“I like Hamilton, and I offered to watch it.”

“And I like this game, and I’m offering to play it. But just like Hamilton was more for me, this game is more for you, and I’m happy to oblige.”

“Heh, guess so. Good, we’ll do it then!”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Shit, I guess tonight wouldn’t be a good night to do it, huh? How about Friday? It’s not a school night.”

“My schedule’s clear.”

“I’m not surprised. Hey, let’s go all out and really go for it, you know? Full party mode and just stay up all night.”

“Not healthy, but I’m not really opposing it either. That sounds…beyond intriguing.”

“Are you saying you’re excited?”

“…Yes, I guess I am.”

“Ha, cool! It’ll be even more fun then when we watched Hamilton twice in a row for kicks!”

“If we throw Hamilton in there at some point I doubt we’d be able to have a more perfect party.”

“I won’t argue with that.”

“Well then, Michael, I think we have ourselves a da-”

“Hey, Mikey!” Rich cut off, stepping up beside the teen. Michael let out a startled sound - face flushed - as he jumped terrified at the sudden appearance. Seeing Rich he let out a long annoyed breath, fuming.

“Geez, Rich,” he criticized with a huff.

“What?” the shorter asked confused, “You’re talking to them, right? I wanna know how it’s going.”

“You can’t be over here. The other’s are going to be suspicious if they think you know who I’m talking to. They already do!” Michael condescended, “You’re _literally_ connected to Kert, just ask them.”

“They're far away, it's hard,” Rich whined, “Come on.”

“They're fine, okay?” Michael dismissed with a wave of his hand, trying to get the teen to leave.

“Michael,” he heard Kert’s voice call from the other line, their voice much closer than when they last spoke.

“What?”

“I expect Richard home in an hour. He’s not allowed to have a late night when he has procrastinated homework to finish,” they instructed.

“Did you hear what Mommy said?” Michael mocked as he looked at the smaller teen. Rich huffed and crossed his arms.

“I’ll go home when I want,” he grumbled childishly. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Don’t wait up,” he answered the SQUIP.

“Try not to stay out too late yourself,” Reese advised, their voice sounding funny as though they were trying to hide something embarrassing, “It’s a school week.”

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the reminder, _Siri_.”

“You’re welcome, ‘Riends,” they answered smoothly. The teen sputtered, face heating up.

“Shut up,” he countered weakly, cursed himself for not thinking of something better to say. The SQUIP chuckled on the other line. He had to admit…their genuine laugh made him smile.

~oOo~

_Synchronizing…Synchronizing…_

_Where are you? No, you’re close. Closer than your human’s home. Why? Where are you? Where are you hiding? Who’s home? Where…_

_Synchronizing…Synchronizing… **Synchronization complete.**_

~oOo~

“What did I almost say,” Reese whined, burying their face in their hands. After their phone call with Michael they couldn’t hold their embarrassment any longer. They let their body sink into their beanie chair - well, actually Michael’s beanie chair, they weren’t going to let Kert sit in it - and they wallowed in their own stupidity. Kert chuckled from where they sat beside them as they rested their controller on the floor, the game having long been paused.

“I believe you almost said ‘date’,” they teased.

“I’ve never been more happy in my existence to be interrupted. Can you imagine Michael’s face if I had said that? He’d be horrified!” the younger exclaimed, slouching further in their seat.

“I don’t know, he might have took it as misspeaking. Or, maybe, he might have been flattered by it?” Reese’s face heated up as he looked at the other incredulously.

“You have got to be joking! I’d be drowned in Mountain Dew Red for even _suggesting_ -”

“Michael wouldn’t do that.”

“Someone would!”

“Reese, I think you believe your situation worse than it is. No one’s going to hurt you, especially over something like that. We’ve made it clear to _both_ our humans that we mean them no harm.”

“…Not Jeremy,” Reese whispered, glancing away. Kert stared at them for a long moment, lips pressed into a tight line as they thought it over.

“…I can’t say that Jeremy wouldn’t react strongly to you suggesting such a thing to Michael, no matter Michael’s response. But Michael won’t let him hurt you for it. You need to put your mind at ease on that,” they encouraged.

“I thought you said I should rely on Michael less,” Reese countered quietly.

“I said you should not lean on him. I don’t want you to feel abandoned or hurt when Jeremy comes back into the equation and Michael… _if_ Michael steps back,” Kert explained. Reese sighed.

“I hate feeling.”

“It’s quite awful. But it has its rewards.”

“I’ve had little of that.”

“I wouldn’t say that. You’ve somehow accomplished hand holding with Michael Mell, of all people. I think you’re doing quite well for yourself.” Reese’s face heated up again.

“It’s not - I mean - It’s…” they sighed, “I can’t lie to you. It’s exactly how it looks.”

“I know,” Kert grinned, “And it doesn’t matter what I say, does it? You’re going to keep pushing your luck with him, aren’t you?”

“…Probably,” Reese answered quietly, looking up at the ceiling from their reclined position, “I can’t help it.”

“You’re attached.”

“You’re the one to talk.”

“I’m not denying it. But I have to ask, Reese,” Kert fully turned to face their companion, “Why are you continuing to push your boundaries with him if you still intend on leaving?” Reese looked at them, holding their gaze for a long moment as they thought it over. Finally they sighed.

“What other choice do I have?” they questioned lost.

“We could tell them the truth.”

“And put their lives at risk? More than they already are?”

“Our percentage of success would increase.”

“And you'd really put Rich's life on the line just to stay with him?”

“I wouldn’t put him in immediate danger. But yes, because I want to stay with him and he wants me to stay. At the very least if something happened to us someone would know.”

“That's a poor reason.”

“Then, think of it this way: How can I ask him to not hide secrets from me when I do? How can I ask to stay in his life if I don't let him into mine?” Kert questioned. Reese let out a frustrated sigh, thinking it over.

“…Nothing can matter more than our goal,” they finally replied, “We’re failures as SQUIPs otherwise. If something prevents us from concentrating on it - or changes it - then…”

“…Be honest, Blue. You’re scared that Michael will stop you from going.”

“…I’m terrified I’ll choose Michael over them.” Kert sighed and shifted closer, placing a hand on the younger’s arm.

“You won’t. I promise I won’t let you. And if Michael has any morality in him then he will help you, not hinder you.” Reese looked at them again.

“…I’ll think it over.”

“That’s wise.” Kert settled back into their seat, “Now, why don’t we turn our attention to more brighter matters.” Reese grinned as they looked back to the TV. Resuming the game they continued playing.

“This is quite the finicky game,” Kert commented, shifting their character to the side to loot boxes.

“Perfect for us,” Reese replied, moving their own avatar over to help their companion, “When you’re done follow me. And here, take my health pack.”

“Ah, thank you.” The two continued to play in relative silence. Reese's mind kept wandering to other matters, being divided between the game and what they they were talking about earlier. They had thought of it all before, but doubt kept coming to mind. To tell Michael everything…They hadn’t before for SQUIP reasons, but now they had very human reasons not to. Guilt. Shame. Fright. They were worried of how Michael would react, and there's a part of them that doesn’t even want him to forgive them. It was amazing how much their position had changed with Kert. Reese was originally the one who didn't mind sharing and now…

Shaking their head they let out a wavering sigh. They needed a distraction. “So,” they finally spoke, looking at Kert with grin, “You and Rich.” Kert's face immediately heated up.

“Don't you dare assume,” they quickly snapped as they glared at the younger SQUIP. Reese chuckled.

“Admit it, you like him.”

“He's my human, of course I like him. He's everything to me,” Kert replied smoothly as they tried turning their attention back to the TV. Reese hummed, glancing back at the game as well.

“Absolutely everything.”

“Yes.”

“Your human.”

“Yes.”

“The person you go to for comfort and support.”

“Yes.”

“The person you want to stay with.”

“Yes.”

“Forever.”

“Yes.”

“Some might even say till death do you part.” Kert blinked. Reese burst out into laughter when they saw their companion’s face turn beat red. Hearing the younger laugh only made the older sputter more in embarrassment.

“Shut up!” Kert exclaimed as they slumped in their seat, burying their face in their hands. Reese paused the game, knowing there was no way either of them were going to be paying attention, as they tried controlling their laughter. “This isn't funny!”

“It's hilarious,” the younger countered, gasping for air.

“I'm not in a romantic relationship with Richard,” Kert huffed, crossing their arms childishly.

“Not yet.”

“Stop it.”

“Don't deny it.”

“I'm warning you.”

“Are you honestly saying that you don't want to be intimate with Rich?” Reese questioned with a raised brow. Kert's cheeks darkened causing another snicker to come from the younger. “Birds of a feather.”

“Are we playing this game or not?” the older huffed while motioning to the TV. Reese raised their hands in defense.

“Fine, ignore the question,” they said while resuming the game. “We both know the truth.”

“Then we can cease to talk about it.”

“What would you rather talk about?”

“We could talk about yesterday.”

“Pass.”

“Now who’s being difficult?”

“I’m not being-”

_Synchronizing…Synchronizing…_

Reese froze. Kert immediately paused the game and sat up straight, eyes glowing. “What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s here.”

“The SQUIP?”

“A different one,” Reese looked at them unsure, “Can you feel them?”

“No,” Kert answered concerned.

“I think I’ve synchronized with them before,” the younger whispered, trying to concentrate, “Their signature is familiar.”

“Who are they?”

“I don’t…”

**_Synchronization complete._ **

~oOo~

“So, there’s a show at seven, and another at seven forty in 3D…” Jake listed off as he scrolled through his phone, leaning against his truck.

“If we go to the seven forty we could get some ice cream before,” Brooke suggested, her eyes lighting up at her own idea as she looked her friends over. They had just left the mall and were congregating around their parked vehicles, discussing what to do next. Michael had tried to stay out of the conversation, but he waiting for the most appropriate time to decline any offers they made.

“I’m in,” Chloe agreed, pulling her friend into a half-hug while winking at Jake to acknowledge his input.

“Let’s do it!” Rich cheered as he bumped his fist in the air from where he sat on the hood of Michael’s car.

“We can’t,” Michael hissed, turning to whisper at the shorter teen without the other’s noticing.

“Why not?”

“We have to go back.”

“They can last another couple hours alone.”

“Rich-”

“That sounds like a great idea!” Christine beamed as she jumped up and down excitedly, “I haven’t gone to the movies in forever!”

“I mean…if the movie doesn’t go too late,” Jeremy agreed slowly, obviously wanting to attend but knowing it was a school night.

“We’re going too!” Rich announced as he flung himself over Michael’s shoulders to include him in the conversation. Michael smacked at the other’s arms in annoyance.

“Rich,” he hissed again.

“You’re coming too?” Jeremy asked hopefully, eyes gleaming at his best friend. Michael’s heart melted. He hadn’t gone to the movies with Jeremy in forever. They used to go all the time, this could be another way to mend their friendship. But Reese…

“If I go I have to make a pit stop home first,” he relented, already feeling guilty. But if he could at least check in on the SQUIP in person they’d probably feel more comfortable about the situation.

“Geez, your guests are so needy,” Chloe commented with an annoyed huff, though there was suspicion in her eyes.

“They’re not from around here,” Michael replied easily, his own eyes unwavering. He was honestly too tired to deal with his friend’s questionings. If they had a problem with it then he’ll call it quits and go with Jeremy another time. But they didn’t push their luck.

“Okay, we can stop,” Jeremy agreed, giving a small smile to his best friend in assurance.

“We can follow you over and wait in the car. It’ll give us time to pick out an ice cream place,” Jake offered. Michael nodded with an appreciative grin. He wasn’t too thrilled at the idea of everyone being outside his house with the SQUIPs so close, but it would make the whole situation look less suspicious if he made them think he wasn’t hiding anything. Reese would be proud of that idea, he hoped. It’s definitely something they would do. Jake nodded before looking at the teen behind Michael, “Rich, you coming with me?”

“Oh, uh…Nah, I’m already on Mikey’s car. I’ll go next time!” Rich promised as he awkwardly slid off the car. To Michael’s relief Jake only shrugged in response, fully respecting his best friend’s wishes, before turning to Christine.

“Wanna lift?” he offered. Christine blinked surprised. She had come earlier in Brooke’s car with Jeremy, but Michael doubted she’d want to go back in the car with Chloe, especially since the popular girl’s been giving her a bit of a hard time. Jeremy was also - no doubt - going to try to ride with him. Michael opened his mouth to offer his car too so that she could stay with Jeremy but paused when he noticed the small blush on Christine’s cheeks.

“Oh, uh…yeah, sure,” she answered awkwardly, fidgeting under everyone’s burning gaze. Michael’s eyes immediately snapped to Jeremy who was refusing to look at anyone but the ground, hands stuffed in pockets and shoulder’s slouched. Was this really happening? He couldn’t believe his eyes, and he didn’t know what to say.

“I’ll come too,” Chloe volunteered as she stepped up beside Jake possessively. Brooke’s eyes widened at her friend baffled.

“Chloe,” she called in hurt confusion, brows furrowed.

“It’s _way_ too crowded in your car. Besides, you got Jenna and Jerry,” Chloe dismissed with a wave of her hand. Jenna raised a brow skeptically at the popular girl, especially since less people in the car would make it __less__  crowded, and knowing that Jeremy wasn’t planning on staying in the car. Jeremy himself looked awkwardly from Brooke to Michael unsure of what to do. That’s when Michael’s friend mode kicked in.

Looking at the popular girl with a raised brow, he spoke, “Well, you can switch with _Jeremy_  then,and Jeremy can switch with Rich, then everyone will be happy,” he suggested, voice unusually firm and even daring. Chloe shot him a dangerous glare as Rich sputtered beside him.

“Mikey,” the shorter teen called.

“Shh,” Michael whispered, eyes locked in a staring contest with the popular girl.

“It’s Jake’s car, he can decide who goes in it,” Chloe replied with a huff, not appreciating the competition.

“I-It’s okay, I can go with Brooke,” Christine offered quickly, diffusing the whole situation. She looked beyond uncomfortable at the tension in the air as she awkwardly shifted towards Brooke.

“N-No, i-it’s okay, Christine,” Jeremy stuttered, trying to please his girlfriend.

“No, it’s okay, really. You go with Michael. I’ll be fine…It’ll be fun!” she tried faking excitement as she looked at Brooke. The blonde gave an awkward smile.

“Yeah…”

“…Okay, let's go then,” Jake ushered, dismissing everyone before the situation got even more awkward. As everyone began to slowly move he shot Christine an apologetic look for Chloe’s behaviour. Christine gave a small smile back in assurance before walking over to Brooke's car. Michael sighed, watching with sad eyes as his best friend slowly came over to his PT Cruiser. He didn’t have the heart to say anything and resorted to comfortingly patting his friend on the shoulder. Jeremy gave a small smile in gratitude as he got inside the car, Rich slowly following. Once they were all safely secured inside he pulled his car out of the parking lot.

The car ride home was quiet. Rich tried a few times to pick up conversation, but after that failed - and he noticed it was more on Jeremy’s part than anyone else’s - he straight up asked the teen what was going on. When Jeremy's face reflected the imagery of a kicked puppy Michael immediately shut the conversation down. No one was allowed to make his best friend feel like that. And so it was silent.

Despite his protective nature over Jeremy, he too had a ball of anxiety in his stomach. What if Reese was right about what their human was going through? If Jeremy was in heartbreak how could he tell him about the SQUIP being back? His friend would go into a mental breakdown! But he had to tell him soon, this was tearing them apart. Maybe Reese would have a better suggestion…

Keeping that thought in mind he eyed the house wearily as they finally arrived, parking on the curb. Michael quickly told Jeremy to wait for him in the car and dismissed that it would only take him a few minutes to sort things out. Exiting the vehicle he could heard Rich speaking behind him, “Oh, wait! I forgot my charger in your house!” He almost groaned in annoyance as he saw the shorter teen exit the Cruiser after him. Jeremy glanced at the two confused, especially since this should have been the first time Rich had ever been to Michael’s house. Even if he had stepped in earlier it wouldn’t have been a long enough visit to forget a charger in.

“Do you - uh, want me to come in too?” he offered uncertainly, not understanding why he should be left behind.

“Nah, it’s okay, we’ll be back in a sec,” Rich dismissed as he quickly closed his door behind him. Michael glared at the shorter as he walked around the car to him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he hissed.

“Kert’s fucking in there,” Rich replied, annoyance in his own voice as he started walking towards the house with Michael by his side. “Don’t be a dick. I have a right to see my own computer.”

“You’re blowing our cover.”

“We’re fine, Michael. Look, no one cares.”

“ _Everyone_ cares.”

“Would you seriously sit in the car if this was my house and Reese was in there?” Michael was quiet for a moment. He probably would but it would hurt not seeing with his own eyes if they were okay. To be fair his relationship with Reese was different than Rich’s was with Kert, and Kert seemed a lot more stable then the younger SQUIP, but still…

“Fine,” he relented with a sigh, fishing his keys out of his pocket.

“What are we doing here, anyways?” Rich questioned.

“I'm leaving them money for take out. I don’t have a lot of food for dinner and I thought I'd be here for it. And I want to make sure they’re doing okay,” Michael answered, “Heh, I guess it _is_ good you’re here. You can explain to Kert yourself why you're staying out late.” He grinned as Rich huffed.

“They can’t tell me what to do.”

“Says the guys who always listens to them.”

“Not always!”

“Face it, you’re screwed,” Michael teased as he put the keys in the lock.

“No way! I got this, you’ll see. I’ll shut them up no problem,” Rich retorted, gaining the teen’s attention.

“Yeah, how?”

“I’ve got my ways.”

“Why do I believe the opposite?”

“Pcht, you think Kert can shut me up? Yeah right, they can’t do that anymore.”

“I bet they can, Kert's scary.”

“Nah, they're a mushy Muppet.”

“When are they _ever_ -” Michael froze as he turned the key in the lock. Rich paused, looking at him confused.

“What?” he questioned. Michael slowly took his keys out and swung the door wide open.

“…It’s unlocked…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And the house was silent...


	18. Ninety-Nine and One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “…It’s unlocked…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I can't tell you just how long this took me to do. Everyone's theories were so good that I started panicing about my own chapter! This chapter gets the award for the most edits and re-writes than any other chapter before it. I was so paranoid that this mess was created. Don't know how I feel about it. I hope you all enjoy my suffering and that it was worth the wait...otherwise I'll cry in a corner and try better next week. Oh, it also gets the award for hardest chapter to give a title to (which makes it get the award for most awards...impressive).
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“…It’s unlocked…”

“You…You forgot to lock it, right?!” Rich asked nervously, panic already rising in his eyes. Michael couldn’t find his voice to answer but instead shook his head, his breaths coming in short. Without any thought to caution he burst through the entrance - leaving the door wide in his wake - as the shorter teen scrambled to follow.

“Reese?!” Michael called, his eyes darting in every direction as he raced towards the basement stairs. He nearly fell down the entire flight at his speed as he continued to shout the SQUIP’s name. He froze in terror when he reached the bottom.

It was empty.

At first glance it looked as if no one had been there in the last few hours at all. It was only by the small oddities - that only Michael could identify - that showed that the two SQUIPs had been there only a short while ago. The controllers for his game system laid haphazardly on the ground and the console’s power light was still on despite the TV being off. Did they turn it off for silence? No, they wouldn’t need to because that would imply…

“Kert!” Rich shouted as he nearly crashed into Michael’s back, not having slowed down even when the other teen had stopped moving. Seeing the empty basement his eyes widened, “Where are they?!” Michael just shook his head again, voice lost in his throat. Quickly he motioned for Rich to search and they did. Both looked into every room, every closet, any space that could possibly fit a human being. The teen convinced himself that they had to be __somewhere__. They had to be hiding. They just drank some alcohol and hid from the bad people. That had to be it. They had to be here. There was no way…No, they’re okay. They’re safe. They’re here. _Reese_ was here.

But they weren’t.

“I can’t find them!” Rich cried as he ran back into the main space of the basement, meeting Michael who had similar luck. “Michael, I can’t find them!”

“They’re here,” Michael assured frantically, his voice hoarse and his eyes watering, “They have to be. They…They’re just unconscious! They’re hiding, I know it! They’re here! Reese wouldn’t…they wouldn’t…No one could beat them! No one could stop them! We couldn’t - no one can! They’re here! They have to be!” Rich’s eyes watered dangerously as he gave a look of sympathy to his friend. Michael took in a shuttered breath as he wiped at his eyes before looking at the stairs. “Upstairs. We didn’t check upstairs!” Rich didn’t respond as he followed the teen to the upper level.

They continued to search, not leaving any space unchecked. But with each passing spot both felt more and more frantic and lost, but most of all hopeless. Michael’s breaths came in shorter and shorter the more desperate he searched. After checking the last room he could take it no longer. Unable to catch his breath he staggered and fell to his knees, gasping as the tears fell down his face. His hand gripped for his phone in his pocket and he shakily pulled it out. Every part of him wished it would ring, to hear the computer’s voice assure him they were alright. But all he could hear was deafening silence. Shaking more he gripped the phone tighter in his hand as he desperately tried to hold in his sobs.

Reese was gone.

What could he do? He had no idea who took them. If it was the SQUIP people how could he ever hope to find them? He had no idea where the SQUIPs escaped from to begin with. Even if he did know how would he even have a chance to save them? He had no skills of stealth, strategy, or even physical strength. Video games could only compensate so far, especially when he knows nothing of the building the SQUIPs might be in. How could he save them? How could he save Reese? They were probably terrified right now, hopelessly waiting for him to come. Waiting for him to save them. Waiting…He failed. He failed them. This was…it.

“Mikey,” Rich called brokenly. Michael could barely lift his head to see the shorter teen approach him. Rich had thick tears streaming down his face as he fell to his knees in front of his friend, pulling the taller into a tight embrace. “Mikey,” he sobbed, unable to control his anguish any longer. Michael couldn’t move his shaking arms to accept the embrace. His own tears began to fall, coming to his limit. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be comforted or to tell Rich it’ll be okay when it’s not. If he didn’t ask Kert to come here they’d be safe at home right now. They could have helped find Reese. He made a mistake. He should never have asked Kert to come. He should never have left Reese alone. He failed.

“ _Doubtful. You’re the one percent _.__ ”

Michael’s breath shuttered as he closed his eyes. One percent. Always the one percent. How could Reese even think of him like that now? After all he failed to do…

“ _There are many things that should be different, but this is the way it is. It’s a double sided coin, Michael. Your emotions won’t stop flipping between those two sides as long as you’re in this situation. I’d advice focusing on what you feel is more important to help you through this mess_.”

A mess…that’s putting it lightly. This is beyond fucked up.

He rested his head against Rich’s shoulder. He wished it was Reese. They would know what to do, what to say to make things better. They would put their stupid security sweater around him and whisper comforting words in his ear…they always knew what to do to make him smile.

“ _Breathe _.__ ”

Michael took in a shuttered breath as he opened his eyes. What could he do? Can he really go after these people? Where would he even start? What would he be risking? Could he even do it?

“ _The possibility of you rising to the occasion may have been low but for you to defy expectations and to successfully be that one percent is truly an appropriate opponent for a SQUIP _.__ ”

An appropriate opponent for a SQUIP…No one would ever expect him to come, or to succeed. That idea…It brought a new determination to him. Those fuckers had no idea what was coming.

“Rich,” he finally spoke, his voice hoarse and filled with emotions. Carefully pulling back from his friend he continued, “We need to move.” Rich’s brows furrowed in confusion as he was helped to his feet by the taller teen.

“W-What?”

“Get in the car,” Michael replied as he wiped at his eyes and began walking around the other. He was ready to make these assholes pay.

“Michael?” a new voice called. Both teens froze in their tracks as they looked at the open door. Jeremy was standing there watching them with deep concern on his face. Seeing the distress on them both he quickly walked towards them. “I-Is everything okay? You ran in here and the door was open and…”

“Jeremy,” Michael whispered brokenly. A new wave of tears rushed to his eyes. Why? Because it was sad - No, it was _tragic_. Reese was gone. Jeremy’s SQUIP was _gone_ , and he has no idea - no clue that his computer was back and now in grave danger. What was sadder is that telling Jeremy wouldn’t change anything. Jeremy wouldn’t feel sad or understand the urgency. He would probably try to stop them or not help at all since he has no idea what’s happening. He doesn’t care about Reese. He doesn’t know the human they’ve become. He has no idea how much they’ve changed. How kind they are, how supportive they are, how reliable they are. He doesn’t know anything about them. What they like, what they don’t. What games they make up to pass the time, or how they still like to watch Michael do anything just to learn his every movements. Jeremy knew none of it. He still sees the horrible computer that ruined all of their lives. Except, they didn’t. Yes, the SQUIP made things awful, but it didn’t ruin their lives. No, because they’re lives are actually quite good. In fact, earlier that day he couldn’t have been happier. Reese made him…happy, and never stopped trying to keep it that way. If they had never shown up in his life…he knows he’d still be miserable and beyond anxious every day. Jeremy might never get to see that SQUIP, the one that changed all of their lives. And it was his fault…

“ _Breathe_.”

Michael took in a deep breath. “I need your help,” he answered, sniffing as he wiped at his eyes. Rich looked at him surprised as Jeremy took a step forward, nodding his head eagerly.

“O-Of course! What do you need?” he asked quickly, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder for support. Michael took in another shuttering breath.

“…I need you to think of your SQUIP.” Jeremy’s eyes blew wide and Rich gasped.

“W-What?” the taller squeaked in horror.

“I can’t explain right now,” Michael quickly excused, taking his friend’s hand from his shoulder and holding it tight, “I-I promise I will. But I need you to think at them. I need you to hear them a-and talk to them. Rich, you too.”

“R-Right,” Rich agreed nervously before awkwardly glancing away and trying to concentrate, probably desperate to get out of the conversation. Jeremy looked from Rich to Michael in disbelief.

“W-Why-”

“Please, Jer,” Michael begged, tugging on his friend’s arm desperately, “I need you to do this.”

“But…”

“I know. Believe me, I __know__. But you have to trust me.” Jeremy was silent, his eyes watering in uncertainty and fear. Michael bit his lip, guilt filling his stomach. He shouldn’t be asking his best friend to do this after all they’ve been through, it was unfair. But if he didn’t…

“ _Events like today could happen again, one where we're backed into a corner with no other solutions. In moments like that stubbornness can’t outweigh the need to survive._ ”

If there was even the _slightest_ chance they could get in contact with Reese, it was a risk they had to make. Taking a deep breath Michael walked passed his friend, pulling his arm along before grabbing Rich. “You can do it in the car. Maybe…Maybe we’ll be lucky. Maybe they ran to your house, Rich,” he suggested hopefully while looking at the shortest teen. Rich nodded his head, his eyes lighting up at the idea.

“Yeah! They’d do that!” he exclaimed, desperate hope in his eyes. It quickly turned to determination, “Those fuckers are so dead if they think they can touch our fucking SQUIPs and live to tell the tale!” Jeremy’s breath hitched before coming in short as he looked at the two lost and terrified.

“Michael, please-”

“Wait!” Rich cut off, grabbing onto Michael’s arm in a tight grasp. Michael stumbled back at the sudden force and looked at the shorter startled.

“What?”

“I…” Rich seemed to go into a slight daze as his eyes glazed over with a strange green tint, looking at the ground in deep concentration. Michael’s heart began to race. He recognized that glint from the night they found the SQUIPs. It meant-!

“Kert, where are you?” Rich asked aloud, his voice trembling with intense anticipation. Michael’s eyes widened as tears of hope came to his eyes. Could it be…? Jeremy was also watching the shortest teen but in confusion. His horror from before hasn’t shaken and he was even more concerned than ever at the two in front of him.

It was silent…

Michael couldn’t take it any longer. “What are they saying? Are they okay?” he asked desperately, his voice choking up. He needed to know. Was Reese okay? Were they safe? Were they close? He needed something!

Rich’s head suddenly popped up and his eyes snapped to the front door. Without a word he darted out. “Wha - Rich!” Michael yelled as he chased after the teen in alert, Jeremy close behind. The shorter male didn’t run far and stopped half way down the driveway, the two behind him nearly crashing into him at the sudden pause. Rich’s gaze was down the street, set on three distant figures at the corner of the quiet intersection. Michael followed his gaze. Two of the three figures were close to the ground, one crouching to help assist the second - the second curled up against them as though unable to keep themselves up. The third stood close to their companions, they were not acknowledging what they were doing but instead seemed to be looking in the teen’s general direction. All three were hunched over as though trying to catch their breaths. Michael’s heart raced rapidly as he barely recognized the silhouette of the standing figure.

It was Kert.

Any relief he felt quickly disappeared when he saw Rich enter his vision barreling down the sidewalk towards his SQUIP without any caution at all. Michael’s mind immediately went to their friends in the cars watching them, some even starting to get out at seeing the strange and frantic behaviour of Rich, Jeremy and himself. To his horror, though, Christine had long gotten out of the vehicle and was heading in the direction of the SQUIP’s as well, clearly recognizing them. There was no way he’d be able to stop her from getting to the computers, she was close enough to fully see them.

Since all was lost anyways, Michael felt little shame in racing down the street after the shorter teen.

“Kert!” Rich yelled as he approached the SQUIP, nearly tackling them to the ground with his momentum. Kert, eyes wide, stumbled back as the wind was knocked out of them. Somehow they managed to stay standing as their human hugged them tight. Barely missing a beat they hugged back, even as they gasped for air.

“I’m alright,” they wheezed, their voice barely audible.

“Are you hurt?” Rich cried, not moving to look the SQUIP over.

“I’m alright,” Kert repeated more firmly, gaining some air, as they began running their hand through the younger’s hair soothingly, “I am unharmed…I’m sorry I worried you.”

“You stupid Muppet,” Rich sobbed, hugging them even closer. Kert gave a small grin as they rocked the teen slightly in their arms as they hushed him.

Michael managed to catch up shortly after, panting heavily as he stopped in front of the group. His eyes were glued on the other two members. The one crouched to the ground, to his heartbreaking relief, was Reese. They were okay. They looked tired beyond belief but not hurt. They were safe. Reese was safe. They were here. They were home.

Leaning against them was someone Michael didn’t recognized. It was a girl, slightly younger than Reese was. Her skin was a dark pink, almost appearing as the perfect shade in between Kert’s darker complexion and Reese’s pale skin. Her hair was a deep orange-red, nearly appearing gold in the sunlight, that came just passed her shoulders. Like Kert she had freckles dusting her nose but less prominent then the older. Despite never seeing her before Michael knew immediately by her state of being who she was. She was roughed up __bad__. Her clothes, which seemed new and well styled - unlike her companion’s original clothes - were battered and dirtied with both soil and blood. Her hair that was once pulled into a pony tail was now loosely hanging from its elastic, half of it coming out completely. She had a scrape on her cheek and her lip was cut open. Despite her wounds, most of which Michael knew he couldn’t see, she didn’t look to be in pain. Instead her curious gaze was on Kert, slowly moving from them to Rich with interest before looking at Michael. She froze. Her purple irises opened wide, shining with a bright pink hue, as she stared at him in pure horror. She immediately curled up closer to the SQUIP beside her. Reese, to the teen’s surprise, wrapped their arms around her protectively, hushing her in a soothing voice.

“Michael won’t hurt you,” they whispered comfortingly, stroking the girl’s hair carefully. Michael stared at them in shock. For some reason his heart tightened at the sight. He should be feeling panicked for the injured girl, or overjoyed to see Reese. But instead everything felt _wrong_. It felt wrong because a few moments ago he was in a completely different movie, filled with completely different worries and fears and terror. Was it all a lie? Did nothing…happen? Did the SQUIP really put him through another traumatizing experience with nothing but a dismissive hand at the end?

He couldn’t stop his body from shaking in an unknown emotion as he stared at the two. But despite what he was feeling, his heart still skipped a beat when Reese’s eyes finally met his. In that moment everything seemed to freeze. Michael’s eyes began to water. Reese was here. They were safe. Right now, that’s all that should matter, and it did. Every part of his being just wanted to follow Rich’s example. He wanted to hug the stupid SQUIP and tell them how stupid they were for __ever__  worrying him like that, for making him think that they were gone forever while also holding them close so they wouldn’t ever slip away again. He couldn’t lose them again, he couldn’t. He couldn’t…

“Michael,” Reese called quietly, sounding more gentle than he’s ever heard before. Michael almost broke at the sound of it. Their blue eyes were filled with the same longing he felt, the same need to be close. He knew they understood what had happened, what he must have thought. They knew, and he could see in their eyes that whatever _did_ happen wasn’t settling well with them either. Their eyes were watering just as much as his the longer they stared. Michael’s body began to shake again. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t go through something like this - losing everything and just having to stand there as though he was told it was just a prank. No, it wasn’t fair. Why did he always have to bear the weight of the situation with no comfort? The spiteful part of him wanted to throw caution to the wind and just take what he wanted. He wanted Reese. But-

“Reese! Kert!” Christine called as she caught up to the two teens, “Is everything okay? Oh - She’s hurt!” she exclaimed panicked, immediately kneeling by the girl’s side in concern. The girl - or SQUIP - stared at her in a mix of longing, awe, and terror, once again trying to morph into Reese for protection. Christine noticed the behavior and gave an encouraging smile. “It’s okay, I’m a friend.”

“Who is she?” Rich asked with a sniffle as he took a step away from Kert, wiping at his eyes. Kert tentatively helped wipe Rich’s tears away, their face turning serious.

“We can explain but we need to get inside first.”

“What?”

“We need hide,” Kert clarified.

“We need to call an ambulance,” Christine urged, looking at Kert with deep concern, “She’s very badly hurt.”

“We’re more than capable of tending to them,” the oldest SQUIP replied, “We’re trained. But we need to get inside now.”

“But…shouldn’t we bring her to the hospital anyways?” the teen questioned worried.

“Trust me it is better this way,” the computer assured. The girl didn’t seem convinced but didn’t know how to argue with them. Instead she looked at Michael and then to Jeremy for help. Wait…

Jeremy’s eyes were on Reese…and Reese’s eyes finally met his. Michael could feel his heart freeze as he stared wide eyed at the two. Jeremy’s panic from before had lessened but now filled with confusion, and more importantly familiarity. His brows were furrowed as he looked at his computer and Michael could see a hint of cold blue start to mix with his darker iris. Reese, however, was quite different. They were frozen in a moment of disbelief, hope, uncertainty, and…longing. Their eyes were glowing brightly as they seemed to almost be leaning forward as though they wanted to get up and approach the teen but unable to with their companion at their side. They were locked in each other’s gaze and nothing looked like it could break it. SQUIP and human had found each other once more. It could have been a beautiful sight…but instead it felt like the war was lost. Any power, or authority, or even promises that were made felt useless now. Michael felt his existence erase from the equation.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Jake’s voice called as he approached the group, the other members from the cars following after him. His eyes went to the new SQUIP and widened, “Shit, is she hurt?”

“Fuck,” Rich cursed under his breath as he nervously looked from the new members to the computers. He quickly turned to Michael for help but when he opened his mouth to speak he immediately paused. Michael looked…destroyed, and it didn’t take long to realize why. Rich’s eyes widened when he saw the unending stare between Reese and Jeremy. He knew immediately what it meant and he bit his lip. They couldn’t hide anything now. He tried to rack his brain for some sort of excuse to get the others to leave them alone with the SQUIPs - and with Jeremy - but he couldn’t.

“Richard,” Kert called quietly, gaining their human’s attention, “We need to go inside.”

“I know, I’m just…” Rich said while motioning to his head helplessly.

“Invite them in.”

“What? We can’t-”

“Richard, _**they’re** coming _,__ ” the SQUIP warned nervously. Rich’s eyes widened.

“Oh shi - Everyone inside!” he yelled, looking at the group with frantic eyes as he raised his voice, “In the house! Now!”

“What?” Chloe asked confused, looking at those around her who reflected her expression.

“Nope, questions later! We need to go inside! Now!” Rich ushered, beginning to wave his arms at his friend’s to guide them in the direction of the house.

“Rich,” Christine called uncertainly, glancing at the injured computer.

“She’s coming with us,” the teen answered while motioning for her to follow him. Christine’s brows furrowed but she didn’t say anything more. Instead she stood and turned to Jeremy beside her, placing an anxious hand on his arm. The taller teen blinked, finally breaking eye contact as he gasped for air.

“Jeremy?” she called worriedly. Jeremy shook his head before turning his watery eyes to Rich, his gaze asking a silent question. Rich froze before biting his lip, guilt dancing across his face. That was all the answer the other teen needed. Jeremy’s irises slowly found the ground as his mind raced through a million thoughts at once, his quivering body trying to hold back the intense emotions he’s trying to hide. Quickly he took a step back and taking Christine’s hand walked towards the house without another word. Michael opened his mouth to call his best friend’s name but his voice died in his throat. He was useless to help…and he imagined once Jeremy found out the truth he wouldn’t want it anyways.

Rich let out a shuttered breath before walking towards the house himself, spreading his arms out to fully herd his friend’s towards the door. “Everyone, inside. Right now. No - No questions. No - just go in. Go inside the house,” he commanded, cutting off any voice that tried to speak up. Michael stood still for a moment. In his peripheral he could see Kert assisting Reese to stand, the later fully picking up the smaller SQUIP in their arms. His stomach tightened and he found he couldn’t turn himself to look at them. He didn’t want to see how Reese was reacting to Jeremy walking away - if they were happy at the contact, sad, confused, anything. He couldn’t. He couldn’t look at them. Because he’d break. Slowly he followed after the group, keeping to the side to avoid being in the SQUIP’s way and to gain less attraction to himself. Someone must have noticed the way he’s been acting, and he couldn’t bear someone asking right now. He didn’t want anyone near him. He wanted to be alone.

The SQUIPs had easily caught up to the group despite showing signs of fatigue and followed to the door. As they waited for the others to be fully brought inside Kert suddenly turned to Reese. Their eyes were glowing and they had a look of sympathy on their face. Without a word they took the injured SQUIP out of their companion’s arms. Reese put a up a little resistance but hardly fought against them.

“It’s okay,” Kert assured gently, “I can do it.” Reese shook their head lightly but didn’t move to get the injured computer back. Kert looked at the younger in deep concern and sympathy when Reese refused to meet their gaze, looking at the ground instead as their body began to tremble. The older lowered their head slightly to better meet their eyes. “Take your time. You know how long you’re safe out here for. I’ll take care of them,” they said, motioning to the new SQUIP. Reese didn’t answer, and now that doorway was cleared - other than Rich who was waiting for his computer to follow - Kert went inside.

Michael, who had politely waited for the rest of his friends to go inside - and honestly didn’t want to push through any of them or be near anyone - was the only one left. He began to step towards the door once Kert passed through but was stopped when a hand grabbed his wrist. Startled he turned to face the SQUIP behind him but barely got a clear look before he was quickly pulled towards them. Michael let out a choked gasp as he crashed into the computer’s chest, Reese wrapping their arms around him in a tight hug. He felt his body tense up. Distantly he could hear the door closing behind him - for privacy - and he was glad…because he couldn’t contain himself any longer.

Michael broke out crying as he accepted the hug, burying his face into the other’s shirt as he did so. Reese only held him closer, gripping onto the teen’s sweater as though he might disappear if they didn’t. “I’m sorry,” the SQUIP whispered brokenly, “I didn’t mean…I’m sorry I scared you.” Michael tightened his hold.

“I can’t…I can’t…”

“I know.”

“Y-You don’t.”

“I should have left something…I just…I didn’t think…They were in danger…and I thought you were far away…”

“I-I swear I’m going to stuff every pocket you own with sticky notes and pens until you stop scaring me with this shit!” the teen cried, “I can’t do it! I can’t keep thinking you’re going to die! I can’t! I can’t do it!”

“…I’m sorry.”

“You have no idea…I wouldn’t have…I couldn’t have…” Michael shook his head, “What could I have done? How could I have saved you? You stupid…” Reese was silent.

“…I wouldn’t want you to come.” The teen’s breath hitched and he took a step back to look up at the computer. He could see for the first time that they were crying too.

“W-What?” he choked.

“…Michael…If they ever caught you…” Reese shook their head, their body shaking as they tried restraining their growing tears, “Michael you have no idea…No idea at all…I’d never be able to forgive myself if they hurt you, or Jeremy, or Rich, or anyone because of me…because of us…We’ve been beyond selfish coming here…and any safety we had is gone. They’re coming and I don’t know…”

“…What?” Michael whispered frightened.

“That SQUIP…they found them. They found them and the one they were with. We don’t know what happened to their companion and…Michael they’ll search here next.” The teen stared at them in horror. What could he say? Any wrong move against these people could lead to death, or worse…

“…What do we do?” he asked, his voice barely sounding. Reese looked to the ground, unable to look at the teen any longer.

“…Michael, our road is ending.”

“W-What?”

“I can’t stay.”

“Reese-”

“The risk is too high.”

“But-”

“I _swore_ to myself that I wouldn’t…” Reese took a shuttered breath, “I don’t want to be the cause of your pain, Michael. I don’t want to be the reason you hide, or hate yourself, or suffer…I told myself from the beginning if I could win you over that everything would be wonderful, that I’d be the most accomplished SQUIP to ever live. That changed…to getting you to smile once every day.” The SQUIP finally looked up at the teen, “If…If I could get you to smile - just once - even when you felt less than you are, that’d be enough. You deserve more than that from me after all I did to you…I wanted to fix it all, to make your life…wonderful. And I was selfish with that because…you always smiled. But I won’t put you at risk any longer. If I was still a SQUIP I wouldn’t mind the danger because there’s advantages and it would make sense, but I’m not…I don’t…I don’t want to be the thing you hate. I’d give up everything that makes me machine to not have you think of me as…as the **_monster_** that haunts you. And I’ve already ruined that. I hurt you just like I did then. I thought I was beyond that but today proved that I still do, and without knowing it…I won’t do it again…” Michael stared at them with wide eyes.

“…Reese…” his voice shook and his body began trembling again, “Don’t…”

“Michael,” Reese’s eyes watered dangerously, “I…” Michael shook his head and quickly pulled the computer back into a tight hug.

“Y-You’re not **_them_** , Reese. You’re not what you used to be. They don’t exist anymore. Even if they did…It doesn’t change my mind. I don’t _want_ you to give up anything. You’re a SQUIP, Reese. That won’t change and I don’t want it to. It’s because you’re a SQUIP that you’re the way you are. I don’t hate the part of you that analysis or researches or plans or _knows_ everything. I don’t. And I __know__  that computer can find another way to do this. Because I’m not saying goodbye. You can’t make me. You can’t drop into my life, make things better and then just leave. We can do this. You’re a fucking SQUIP, you can do this. And your human side…it deserves to be happy too. And…If you’re happy here, then…”

“You should never doubt that,” Reese whispered, hugging the younger close, “But I’m…I’m broken, Michael. I’m not the SQUIP who can take over the school anymore…I’m defective…I only ever had a ninety-nine percent rate of success at the height of my existence…and even then I still failed…”

“…It’s a good thing I’m that one percent, right?” Michael answered, letting out a small laugh through his tears. Reese gave a small smile as they rested their head against the teen’s hair.

“Michael,” they whispered, “I don’t know what’ll happen.”

“You promised we’d do it together,” Michael retorted, “So stop doubting me or being a martyr, it’s un-SQUIP like.” Reese made a small sound like a laugh.

“…Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“…Ninety-nine percent…with the one percent…”

“We make one hundred.”

“You truly complete me.” Michael’s face heated up, sputtering slightly. He quickly cleared his throat and took a step back, wiping at his tears to try and cover up his blush as he glanced away.

“Cheesy line. Watching soap operas?” he teased awkwardly.

“Just stating the truth,” Reese answered smoothly, though their voice sounded…shy. Michael glanced at them. Reese was watching him cautiously, a blush of their own on their cheeks. The SQUIP cleared their throat and glanced away.

“…Nothings set in stone, Michael,” they finally said, changing topics, “We’ll go in there together and…and let the fire roar. We’ll tell the truth, let Jeremy hate me, let your friends fear me, and whatever happens happens. And when it’s done I want you to think of every one you care for when you throw your life at me and consider the risk. If you still want me - want me to _stay_ , that is, then…I’ll tell you everything. Every single secret I hold, everything that keeps me awake at night and what my real goal is. If that doesn’t get you to quit then…I’m yours.” Michael stared at them for a long moment. Slowly he swallowed.

“…Fine, but my mind’s not going to change. Tomorrow, I expect to hear everything,” he replied firmly, eyes unwavering. Reese looked at him hesitantly.

“…If you still feel that way tomorrow I will.”

The two stared at each other for a long moment. Slowly the computer’s gaze dropped and they gently took the teen’s hand in theirs.

“…I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself in there,” they confessed. Michael slowly nodded, squeezing their hand lightly.

“…No matter what happens in there with Jeremy, I promise I won’t let him take you. You’re staying here tonight,” he swore. There was a small part of him that worried that that wasn’t what Reese wanted, but the small smile the SQUIP gave put that thought at ease.

“If I…If I can’t control myself, please try to forgive me in advance.”

“I will.” After another brief silence overcame them Michael let out a small laugh, “Heh, I can’t get myself to move. I’m not ready for this.”

“Neither am I,” Reese agreed, “But we have to remember we’re in control.”

“Hardly.”

“Fake confidence is something that can be useful.”

“Well, real confidence would be nice.”

“This could help.” Smoothly the SQUIP took Michael’s sweater zipper and unzipped it completely. The teen sputtered in surprise before sighing at the computer unhappily.

“You’re not even going to ask for permission anymore?”

“I felt that we we’re at a point of friendly intimacy where touching - safely - each other’s clothing was appropriate.” Michael’s face heated up again.

“Did you seriously have to say it that way?!” Reese chuckled.

“It always flusters you.”

“Stop trying to fluster me!”

“Besides, don’t think I didn’t notice yesterday that your sweater was unzipped.”

“Wha - how did you - it was only a little! And it had nothing to do with - I mean…” Michael sighed defeated. Reese grinned before their smile softened.

“One more adjustment?” they asked carefully. The teen raised a brow in suspicion.

“Don’t you think you’ve changed enough?” he questioned.

“One more. It’s small.” Michael sighed.

“Fine.” Reese’s smile widened before they turned to the teen. Gently they began pushing Michael’s hair more neatly to the side. The teen’s heart began racing faster at the contact. Reese was standing so close to him…when did he start noticing that? His breaths came in short as he felt paralyzed to his spot as the SQUIP groomed his hair. It didn’t feel as though they were changing much, but rather making it more uniformed. When they were done they smiled warmly at him.

“You look perfect,” they whispered. Michael’s face heated up again and he couldn’t find his voice to speak. His eyes were glued to the SQUIP, and he didn’t want to break the contact. In the back of his mind he began memorizing every detail of them: the shade of their eyes, the shape of their face, every little curve that created their image. He didn’t want to forget them. He didn’t want to lose them…

“ _If you push those boundaries now…I don’t think I’ll be able to pull back, and…and putting everything I have in you: my secrecy, my trust, my stability…my comfort. I don’t know if I can move away from that, not when its all I have. So please consider what you're doing._ ”

He’s been worrying all this time about what other’s were thinking - what’d they say if they saw him and Reese together. If he wasn’t worrying he was trying so hard to hate them…he wanted to hate them because it was the only way to make sense of the pain he felt. Because he tried to hate them he convinced them that he wanted them gone…

“ _That didn’t stop you from wanting to kill me before. I know you would have tried if I disobeyed your orders.”_

 _“…So…When you woke up…You were actually scared of me?_ ”

It shouldn’t have had to come this far. He shouldn’t have had to go through this to fully realize the truth.

“ _…Once you told me we could never be more than enemies, not even friendly ones. Has that changed too?”_

_“What are you asking for?”_

_“I don’t need a title _.__ ”

Things needed to change…and he knew what that was now. He’d let Reese tell their secret…and then he’ll tell his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Things are changing, and the next chapter it will.


	19. Author Note

**AUTHOR UPDATE!**

I never wanted to be the person who put up an author's note like this and fool everyone into believing I put up a chapter, but with how much everyone freaks out at a missed day I needed to do something. I honestly have the next chapter done, it only needs to be edited. But my laptop has lost life and though I had the good sense of emailing myself the chapter I cant edit it on my phone or have the energy in my eyes to get it done tonight. "Why don't you edit it tomorrow and then upload it at night like you already do?" I hear your beautiful voices ask. Well, I have exciting news that I wanted to give at the beginning of the next chapter but cant now. I'm going to New York for a few days and I am going to see Be More Chill live :) And I'm leaving tomorrow so...you can see the problem. I am beyond furious at myself for this especially since I needed to work while I was there and my charger is hours away. So unfortunately you'll have to wait a week for this one. By the time I get back itll be too close to the next upload day to do a double upload. If I am somehow able to write the next chapter then I'll do a double upload but dont get too excited. Im sorry about all this but I did try. The bright news is maybe seeing the show live will give me new ideas? I heard they made some changes so I'm interested to see what those are. Oh, on a side note, this postponed date will also mean I wont be able to get back to your comments till I return this weekend. Im happy though at the amount of people starting to constantly leave reviews rather than only commenting when intense things go down.

Well I suppose this is a good time to to update you all on this story in general! For all those who cared to read through all of this. So this story is far from over. I think some have gotten the impression that it'll be over soon, especially since Jeremy's coming into the picture and more stuff is happening with the SQUIP peeps. Nope. This is gonna be a  _long_  story. Crazy long. That doesnt mean things arent going to be moving along soon (I have some treats coming up for you guys...and then some evil treats for me, muhahaha) but it is going for the long run. I hope you're all excited and not dreading that. Im also considering starting up a second story. I wont be able to start that till after September but its something I'd be interesting in doing. I was suggested once a Be More Chill superhero AU story. Would anyone be interested in that? If so how would you want it? Do you want Jeremy to be the main character? Michael again? The SQUIP? (Always fun to do) Do you want different couples (I say as if you all know the couples in this story. I think some are pretty obvious by now but some not so much) or do you want something different? Another slow burn with huge character transformation or something faster? More SQUIP love? (I think thats a firm yes on my part. I love my super computer but I can be swayed depending on the idea) Or is there another story idea you'd like to see? Cant promise anything but id like to hear your ideas!

Also I want to put this out there, it seems like some fan art might be coming our way! Cant promise anything but I've been messaged about it. Either way I know fan art exists because my roommate has drawn a very funny two panel comic of her reaction to when Rich told Michael he wanted to sleep with him. It was hilarious. If all else fails I'm fully planning on doing some fan art myself once September ends. I want a nice cover for this story and no one is better to do it than me, right? So at the very least that'll come.

I apologize again for the delay. But I'll do my best to get everything ready for when I get back. Oh, and if by SOME miracle that one of you happens to be going to the show too, ill be there on Thursday. Could be cool knowing I'm in the same room with the SQUIP and Michael :) Wish I was as big of an attraction as them but alas, I must grow.

Until I get back :)

-Green (OMG I just realized my user name is basically Kert! That was completely unintentional!)


	20. The SQUIP Enters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s…hard to explain.”
> 
> “Start at the beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, don't I have a lot to say! I've never had a more Be More Chill week in my life! If only I could fit it all into my author's note...Basially it was amazing. Very different from the original (from what I can hear from the original's audio) but still very good. If you watch the trailer for it that's basically what you're getting yourself into. Though unfortunately the trailer can't fully express how the new Jeremy and SQUIP are portrait. They were both so different from the original in a very beautiful and unique way. Jeremy was the biggest cinnamon roll that I can't get mad at and the SQUIP was so extra and funny it was amazing. Loved the anime villain costume, A+. I'd love to talk more about it but I think that's only fair if everyone wants me to. There could be other's still going to see it or maybe don't want it be spoiled so I'll leave that up to you guys. I'm gonna be watching the play for Be More Chill tonight and listening to the audio book even later tonight or tomorrow so I'm gonna be up to my elbows in Be More Chill knowledge.
> 
> Also, just so I can rant, I got all the actors autographs on my piano book for Be More Chill (Rich and Christine unfortunately didn't come out and the swing for Brooke skipped over me but it's okay), but I was the first person that both actors of Michael and the SQUIP went to and I felt very blessed! George even patiently wait for me to realize he was standing in front of me, he's so pure. The SQUIP was also super funny. When he came out a girl beside me pointed at him and yelled "It's the SQUIP!" and he just said "It's actually Mr. SQUIP." So funny!
> 
> Anyways, as I not so much promised, here's a double upload today. I highly recommend commenting individually on each chapter since there's gonna be a LOT happening and trust me you'll want to sort out your brain.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael took in a shuttered breath as he slowly entered the house, Reese close behind him. They were both silent, as though any sound they made would draw a million eyes to them…well, in this case, only eighteen. The teen was grateful for the layout of his house, though the living room - he suspected everyone would be in - was close by they didn’t have a clear view of the entrance. As quietly as he could he closed the door behind the computer and slid the lock shut. He hesitated. He wasn’t ready for this. From behind Michael could feel Reese hovering close. Their hand was still holding his and gently they gave a squeeze before letting go. His eyes shifted to the SQUIP. He knew instantly from the way they were glancing at the living room nervously why they let go. If anyone ever saw…He sighed. The faster they started this, the faster it’d be over. Taking in another breath he slowly walked into the next room.

Unsurprisingly the room was being used fully for the SQUIPs. The curtains were closed for safety and the biggest couch was for the injured SQUIP to sit on only. The teen could only assume this was Kert’s doing and he sort of appreciated that the SQUIP had kept everyone in this room rather than the basement - where it would have technically been safer. The basement was his and Reese’s living space, it didn’t need to be tainted with this memory. Kert, themselves, was kneeling beside the couch with a first aid kit beside them, tending to the injured computer’s leg. Christine, surprisingly, was standing just behind the new SQUIP gently brushing the computer’s tangled hair - with a brush he assumed she found in someone’s purse. He was amazed by how comfortable she was with the stranger but she seemed so determined to help he doubt Kert could stop her from doing so. Jeremy, who looked too anxious to sit down, stood close by to his girlfriend, watching her every movements like a hawk ready to swoop in. Anxious might not even be the best word to describe how he looked. He was worse than that, it was…hard to look at. The rest of the group sat awkwardly on the other available couch, or on any other surface they could find, watching Kert work quietly with a mix of anxiety and impatience. Rich, the last member of note, had just returned into the room with another first aid kit when he noticed the two enter.

“Oh, Mikey! Perfect! I don’t know what I’m doing,” Rich confessed as relief washed over his face. Michael gave a sympathetic smile before gulping nervously when all eyes snapped to him. Hesitantly he walked towards the teen.

“You found the other first aid kit, that’s as far as I know,” he admitted, trying to keep his focus solely on the shorter teen.

“You’re doing well, Richard,” Kert encouraged from where they knelt, not moving their eyes for a second from their work even when Reese approached. Rich blushed noticeably before quickly handing the other first aid kit to the blue eyed SQUIP.

“T-Thanks.”

“Okay, is someone gonna tell us what’s going on?” Chloe finally interrupted, “Michael’s here, so what the hell?” Michael and Rich looked at each other nervously. The former couldn’t help gulping nervously, glancing at Reese almost as though for assurance. The SQUIP was rolling up their sleeves as they took a spot beside the injured computer. They moved their eyes to meet Michael’s gaze.

“It’s…hard to explain,” Michael started quietly, forcing himself to break the stare before the other’s noticed.

“Start at the beginning,” Christine encouraged gently, smiling at the two teens before looking at the injured SQUIP before her, “And maybe we could start with your name? Reese is here now - so you can tell us, right?” Michael’s brows furrowed as he looked at the injured SQUIP. Why were they waiting for Reese? Kert was here, was one SQUIP not enough? Was it Kert’s idea to wait? That didn’t seem likely when he noticed the injured SQUIP gripping onto Reese’s sweater tightly, looking at them as though for permission…Why was Reese sitting that uncomfortably close to them? Even when they outside they were like this, but…why?

Reese glanced up from their work to look the SQUIP in the eyes, their iris glowing slightly before shifting their gaze to Christine nervously. Without saying a word they went back to work and the injured SQUIP spoke for the first time. “…It’s Ari,” they introduced awkwardly, as though they were uncertain of what they said. Their voice was quiet but just as smooth and silky as to be expect of a SQUIP’s speech pattern.

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you Ari. I’m Christine,” Christine introduced cheerfully as she continued to brush the SQUIP’s hair. Ari just nodded awkwardly, a mix of flattery and anxiety crossing their face for a brief second before they took a deep breath and it all disappeared into indifference. Michael was immediately concerned, and weary.

“Who are you two?” Brooke asked curiously, looking from Kert to Reese. The SQUIP’s paused for a second and glanced at each other before looking at their respective humans. Rich took this as a sign of aid and cleared his throat, gaining everyone’s attention, before stepping up beside his computer.

“This is Kert! They’re my - uh…” he stared at Kert for a long moment, wracking his brain as he tried to think of a good excuse. Michael glanced at Reese and their stern - but anxious - eyes answered his unasked question. The teen took a deep breath before slowly speaking.

“…His SQUIP.” All eyes snapped to him so fast he could almost feel the whiplash. Rich’s eyes widened incredulously but was too frozen to speak before anyone else.

“His _what_?!” Chloe exclaimed, nearly climbing onto the couch in a defensive stance. Jake immediately shot up to his feet, hesitating if he should be rushing over to his best friend’s side or not. Michael slowly moved his gaze away from them to Jeremy and instantly regretted it. Jeremy looked horrified, his face drained of colour and his eyes glued to Reese. He knew.

“S-SQUIP?” Christine clarified nervously, pausing her actions and looking at Michael to disprove her. The male took in a shuttered breath, moving his eyes away from the haunting look of his friend and trying to retain any form of confidence he had left.

“Yes, SQUIP,” he agreed, his voice barely sounding as he looked at the other members of the group, “You might as well sit down…this will take a while.” Surprised at how calm he seemed to be at the situation, and almost comfortable, Jake hesitantly sat back down and the others roughly followed his example.

“What the hell’s going on?” Jenna questioned slowly, her wide eyes glancing at each of the members before her.

“Yeah, what _is_  going on?” Rich asked horrified. Michael gave the shorter a sympathetic look. He didn’t know what to say. He honestly should have talked to Rich about this beforehand, but now it was too late. To his slight relief Kert spoke before he could.

“Despite the fact that keeping the secret among a small few is more beneficial we can’t risk having your friends easily chatting about the three of us to each other. It would gather too much suspicion. And to tell them to forget about us and to never speak of us again would also gather too much suspicion,” Kert explained, briefly glancing at their human.

“So…what? We’re just gonna…tell them?” Rich questioned in disbelief.

“…It’s time,” Michael agreed quietly. The shorter stared at them incredulously, opening and closing his mouth unable to find words. Finally he sighed and crossed his arms with a small huff. Michael scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he tried thinking of how to start. He could see in his peripheral that Jeremy was watching him intently. He gulped nervously under the other’s gaze.

“…There's no easy way to start,” he admitted slowly, his voice so quiet he wasn't even sure if anyone heard…but he could see by their intense stares that they did. Michael took a shuttered breath, “Back at Chloe’s party - t-the first one…you saw Rich and I leave the party together and thought…” His voice died in his throat and he tried to clear it to speak again. He opened his mouth to continue but no sound came out. His anxiety was rising.

“I asked Michael to hang out, you guys know that, let’s move on,” Rich quickly interrupted, trudging through the awkwardness. Michael gave him a slightly thankful look. Out of his peripheral he could see Reese sending a small glare towards Rich and he wasn’t sure why. Rich moved the topic along, didn’t they want that? Or was it something Rich said…

“So, we got to my house,” the shorter teen continued when Michael didn’t speak, “But when we got inside…we weren’t alone.” At that point all eyes turned to the SQUIPs. The air itself seemed to still. Kert paused what they were doing, eyes glowing slightly as they looked at their two companions. All the SQUIPs seemed to hold each other’s gazes for a short amount of time before switching to each other - as though having a small conversation - before Kert sighed and turned to face the teens.

“I don’t believe Michael needs to repeat himself. We’re SQUIPs,” they stated simply. It was silent.

“…SQUIPs or SQUIPed?” Christine hesitantly questioned, gaining the computer’s attention.

“SQUIPs,” Kert clarified amused, a small smile on their face.

“How’s that possible? Aren’t SQUIPs super evil mind computer things?” Chloe asked confused.

“ _No_ ,” Reese cut in, annoyance in their eyes, “Super Quantum Unit Intel Processors.”

“Okay,” Michael interrupted, motioning for Reese to calm down, “Doubt that’s what she’s asking.”

“They’re in human bodies now!” Rich exclaimed while waving his arm at his computer, “These evil SQUIP people put them in these bodies and then they escaped from the evil people’s lair!”

“Seriously, Rich?” Chloe questioned dumbfounded.

“Without the flare,” Michael clarified with a sigh.

“That sounds made up,” Jenna pointed out.

“It’s not! There’s evil people and we’re protecting them,” Rich continued exasperatedly.

“Protecting _human_  SQUIPs from evil people,” Chloe reiterated with a raised brow.

“Yeah!”

“You and…what, _Michael_?” the girl snorted, “Yeah right.”

“Wha - why not?”

“Michael. _Michael_. SQUIP killer 101: _Michael_.” Michael swallowed hard and hesitantly glanced at Reese. The SQUIP was glaring at the girl, clearly upset by her words, but - to his relief - no fear came to their eyes. It was bad enough they have nightmares about him…

The newest SQUIP - Ari - wasn’t so fortunate. Pulling away from Christine’s frozen touch they quickly curled up against Reese, frightened eyes glued to Michael. The older SQUIP took little time hushing them quietly, eyes glowing in comfort. “It’s alright,” they soothed.

“What the fuck - his eyes!” Jake exclaimed while pointing to Reese’s bright irises. Everyone’s eyes snapped to them in shock and the SQUIP’s eyes immediately doused of any light, completely startled.

“They were doing that before,” Rich quickly defended with a roll of his eyes.

“I don’t believe they noticed,” Kert pointed out.

“How the hell can he do that?” Chloe questioned in fright. Rich shrugged.

“SQUIP thing.”

“Michael.” Michael’s eyes widened when he heard the familiar voice and hesitantly looked over to his best friend. Jeremy, who had been silently watching the scene in front of him, cautiously stepped closer to Christine. His eyes were still glued wearily to Reese but it was now more in surveillance than recognition. Taking a shuttered breath he forced his eyes to lock with Michael’s. “If they’re…why didn’t you…?”

“I…” Michael’s eyes began to water. No, he needed to speak. He could do this. He had to. He tried taking a deep breath but it did little to ease his mind and his eyes found the floor. “I didn’t want you to get hurt…”

“But you…” Jeremy trailed off, eyes watering with both hurt and concern. Michael squeezed the phone in his pocket to help calm the trembling that started to shake his body, but it wasn’t working. He couldn’t find his voice. He couldn’t speak. Everyone was watching. Everyone was __waiting__  for him to say something. He was stuck in the spotlight. His breaths only came shorter at the intense attention being shined on him with no escape out.

“You should consider yourself lucky, _Jeremy_ ,” a voice suddenly cut in, immediately gaining everyone’s eyes. Michael looked up and met icy blue eyes. It was Reese. The SQUIP was watching him carefully and when they got his attention they gave a knowing look towards him. A comforting one. They knew what they were doing. Reese stood, and turned towards their former host, casually wiping off some of the small bits of blood on their hands from the injured SQUIP on their pants. Michael inwardly sighed at the action. “I’m certain it’s no secret to you who I really am. But for anyone who may be confused, I’m Jeremy’s SQUIP.” The gasps and sudden stillness in the room was terrifying. Jeremy himself - now having it fully confirmed - paled dangerously, eyes wide as he stared at Reese.

“Jeremy’s…” Christine trailed off, taking a step away from the couch and towards her boyfriend. Jeremy instinctively did the same. Reese flashed the girl a grin.

“Yes,” they confirmed before shifting their gaze back to Jeremy, “You can imagine I had full intentions of returning to you. If it wasn’t for Michael I would have.” All eyes shifted to said teen and Michael’s breath hitched. Jeremy’s concerned gaze didn’t leave his friend until the computer spoke again, “You see, _Jeremy_ , when Michael discovered who I was he was determined to not let me near you again. He couldn’t stand the idea of what would happen if I was back in your possession, how I could __hurt__  you. So he struck a deal with me. He’d help us the minimally that we needed and give me shelter here, and in return I couldn’t make contact with you. I know you’ve noticed my absence.”

“Michael,” Christine called gently, her eyes filled with worry, but more than that sympathy. Michael looked at Jeremy, and seeing the mix of concern, hurt, and sadness in his eyes he let out a shuttered breath.

“…What else could I have done?” he confirmed, barely above a whisper. There was a bitter part of him that wanted to laugh at his own words. He sounded like Reese. It made him feel guilty that he wasn’t as understanding to the SQUIP when they made decisions against his wishes when he had done the same to Jeremy. Maybe that was something they’d both needed to work on…

“You should have told me,” Jeremy answered, his voice filled with deep emotion. Michael’s stomach tightened. His eyes shifted back to the ground. In his peripheral he could see Reese ready to cut in again, but before they could another voice spoke out.

“How…” Brooke quietly interjected, gaining all eyes, “Um…How is he - or, uh, you - _alive_? Didn’t - weren’t - I thought you were…gone? Cause of the Mountain Dew and all that…?” All the SQUIPs tensed, Ari showing more fear than the rest.

“As I’ve told Jeremy, ****you can’t get rid of me so easily**** ,” Reese growled, snapping a warning look to Jeremy who froze at the icy glare.

“…What do you want?” Christine hesitantly asked, trying to sound reasonable. Reese’s eyes snapped to her and she shakily kept her composure, “You said…you were staying here with Michael, and there are bad people coming after you. Is that…it? You’re just hiding? Forever? Or…?” The SQUIP let out a breath and glanced at Kert. The older’s eyes glowed for a brief moment in response.

“Anything else doesn’t concern you,” Reese finally answered, turning their gaze back to the girl, “Sanctuary is the main reason for our presence here. We didn’t come to start a fight or ‘take over the world’.” They rolled their eyes at the last part, adding in finger quotations. Michael had to stop himself from rolling his own eyes or letting out a sigh. The SQUIP just couldn’t help bringing up world domination.

“We can’t trust you,” Jeremy countered, gulping nervously as he took another step closer to Christine - or rather in front of her - “You’re a _SQUIP_.” Reese snarled.

“What would you know of _SQUIPs_ , Jeremy?” they questioned harshly.

“I _had_  one!”

“It had you.” Jeremy choked slightly on his air. Reese tsked, “You don’t _honestly_  believe you were the ringmaster in our ‘relationship’, do you?” The teen’s eyes watered as they narrowed at the computer.

“I-I know you were. You did this - _all_ of it! You hurt _everyone_!”

“I did what you ****wanted**** me to do.”

“I didn’t want this! Any of it!”

“You’re a terrible liar, Jeremy.”

“Stop it!”

“Michael, don’t just stand there! Do something!” Chloe exclaimed at the teen. Michael tore his anxious eyes from the SQUIP to the girl, his mind too focused on the confrontation to process what she said to him.

“What?”

“Grab the thing! He’s harassing Jeremy!”

“Thing?”

“The drink!” The teen’s eyes widened as it suddenly clicked. His mouth went dry as he quickly glanced from his best friend to the SQUIP - who’s icy eyes locked with his.

“I’m not…They’re not…I…” He didn’t know what to say. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest, his eyes trapped in Reese’s stare.

“What’s gotten into you?! You’re just gonna let him talk to Jeremy like that?!” she accused in confused anger, “Are you possessed?”

“Holy shit,” Jake added in, eyes widening at Michael as if it was true. The teen’s gaze finally broke as he felt his body freeze at the accusation. Wide eyes quickly darted to the others as he held his hands up in defense.

“I’m not possessed!” he defended, his voice weak.

“He’s not!” Rich confirmed.

“How would you know? You’re possessed,” Chloe huffed with a dismissive wave. Rich rolled his eyes with a huff of his own, crossing his arms angrily at the girl. Michael opened his mouth to protest but was stunned silent when he was suddenly grabbed and turned around to face dark blue eyes inches from his face. Jeremy had approached him while he was distracted and was now leaning in so close their noses were almost touching. His breath caught in his throat as he stared wide eyed at his friend. Jeremy’s brows were furrowed as he looked deep into the shorter’s eyes, searching for something Michael couldn’t identify. After a moment passed Jeremy stepped back.

“You’re not possessed,” he agreed quietly. Michael let out his breath, heart hammering in his chest. He wished he knew what his friend before because now his head was swirling at the close encounter. He didn’t know why, but he suddenly felt the urge to look at Reese. He wished he hadn’t. The SQUIP was closer than they were before, eyes narrowed dangerously at the two. They looked ready to physically rip the two away from each other and he had no doubt they would have. The only thing stopping them was the hand on their arm belonging to Kert.

The SQUIPs were suddenly gone from his vision as an arm snaked around his shoulders. He let out a gasp as he was pulled into a tight hug by his best friend. “Jer,” he called startled, his voice partially muffled by their shirt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. They’re getting into your head,” Jeremy mumbled upset, “Please don’t listen to them. Please.” Michael’s heart sank. What could he say? Jeremy would never believe him. Not when Reese was acting like this.

“Jer, they’re different,” he tried. The taller shook his head.

“No, please,” he begged, “Don’t let them…”

“Jer…”

“I’m so sorry,” Jeremy cried, his body beginning to shake as tears fell down his cheeks. Michael’s own eyes began to water at hearing his friend in distress. “I-It should have been me. Y-You never should have…s-shouldn’t have…I’m so sorry. H-He’s hurting you.”

“No-”

“I-I won’t let him. I-I won’t. Not again. Please. I-I’m so sorry. I won’t let him…I’ll make him go away I promise.”

“That’s enough,” a dark voice interrupted, the sound cutting through the air like a knife. Both teens pulled away from their embrace to face the angered SQUIP. Reese’s eyes were narrowed and sparking with an inner rage Michael has never seen before. The very aura around the computer felt thin and icy as they stood in a posture of complete dominance and the intent to destroy. Michael’s breath caught in his throat. He was terrified.

“You have more spine than I gave you credit if you dare to look Michael in the eyes and tell him that __I__ hurt him. As if _you_ had no part to play in his suffering,” the SQUIP took a calculated step forward before mimicking Jeremy’s voice, “‘No, it was the SQUIP’s fault! It did it! I stood helplessly while it took over the school!’” They scoffed, “Pitiful.” Jeremy made a chocked sound as his eyes widened more at the computer, taking a frightened step back.

“N-No,” he countered weakly, his voice barely sounding, “I-It was you! Y-You-”

“Tell the truth, _Jeremy_. Tell them what you did,” the computer coaxed, taking another step forward. Jeremy shook his head viciously.

“N-No-”

“Tell them that you _wanted_  me to.”

“No!”

“That you commanded me yourself-”

“Stop it!”

“ ** _ **Tell Michael it was YOU who blocked him out of your life** ** _._**_** ” The room went deadly silent. Jeremy was trembling, tears falling down his cheeks as he stared at the computer. The SQUIP slowly tilted their head, “A small price to pay for an upgrade, wasn’t it?”

“Stop it,” Michael finally cut it, his voice forced out into a whisper. His body was shaking too, his eyes watering as he glared at the computer. They had gone too far. Reese’s eyes snapped to him and it felt like two knives had been thrown into his chest. He could barely breath under their intense gaze. They were…terrifying. He could barely recognize them. It took a lot of power to force himself to swallow the lump in his throat and speak again, “You need to stop.”

“Why am I not surprised you’re defending him even when you know the truth,” the SQUIP snarled. Michael’s heart panged. Did they really think he was taking Jeremy’s side for no reason? Could they not see how unreasonably harsh they were being? That they were being cold even to him now?

“I’m not trying to take sides,” he denied, trying to make his voice even. It was so hard to keep himself from shaking.

“Don’t lie, you’ve always taken a side: Jeremy’s. That’s how this all started, didn’t it? Poor Jeremy needed to be saved and you came to pick up his mess. It didn’t matter what he did, right? Block your from his sight, pretend you didn’t exist, call you every single name you hated, even bring you to the point of wanting to-” the SQUIP cut off their own words before they said them, eyes wide at what they almost said. Michael’s own blew wide as his anxiety sky rocketed through the roof. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the computer in pure horror. They didn’t say it, but the betrayal was still there. Reese’s eyes lost some of their coldness as guilt crossed their irises. Michael could see a flash of the SQUIP he recognized in it and he desperately wanted them to come out. Reese would never in their right mind bring up this subject, not when they’ve been so careful about it before. But just as soon as the familiar Reese was shown it was gone. The SQUIP’s eyes narrowed as they looked from Michael’s wrists to Jeremy, “It’s true, isn’t it?”

“Don’t,” Michael whispered, his body shaking more violently. Please, don’t.

“And you _****forgave****_ him?! How _desperate_  are you for his affection?!” Michael didn’t even have the air to gasp. His vision wavered as he stared at the SQUIP. He couldn’t even feel his heart hammering anymore. It was like his heart was gone in the void that the rest of his being was in. He felt cold, and numb, and shaken worse than he’s been in a long time. Everything was gone. And yet his voice somehow spoke, even when there was hardly any air left.

“How desperate are you for ****mine****?”

It was silent.

The room froze as everyone stared in complete shock, horror, and…there were no words to describe the look on Reese’s face. Any semblance of the terrorizing SQUIP was gone. What was left was something much worse. Reese, the computer he’s come to care for,   _ _destroyed__. They looked as if a blade had been thrust into their ribs and was slowly cutting deeper and deeper into their very being. Any life was drained from their face and their eyes…those blue eyes he used to hate…used to wish were gouged out so they could never look at him…the ones he loved to stare into the depths of now…were filled with hurt, betrayal, and devastation…and in an instant it was gone. They closed their eyes, took a deep breath, and when they opened them again Reese was gone. Any emotion - or life - in their eyes was gone. They were gone…

Kert was by their side in an instant, standing at an angle to block Reese from the gazes of the teen’s on the couch. Their eyes were burning bright as they tried to gain the younger’s attention, but Reese just raised a hand to stop them. The blue eyed SQUIP gave a small smirk, and it felt _wrong_.

“That’s quite a stretch, Michael. Very bold, as if I would somehow care more about you than my human. Pathetic really,” they said, their voice sounding more monotone than it ever has. Michael’s heart froze. They were lying. They had to be lying. He knew what was happening. But it didn’t stop the pain from hurting.

“Shut up,” Jeremy’s voice shakily growled. Michael turned his wide eyed stare to his friend. No, Jeremy don’t. But the taller teen couldn’t hear his inner pleadings and instead stepped up to the SQUIP with anger in his eyes. “Don’t you dare call Michael that.”

“Ah, is our confidence training finally going to some use? I’m so proud, you’re doing it without anyone holding your hand,” the SQUIP mocked.

“Shut up!” Jeremy snapped, tears in his eyes, “Leave!” The computer blinked confused at him.

“You think I’ll obey you?”

“You have to! I’m your human and I’m tell you to fucking leave! So go!”

“Jeremy,” Christine’s weak voice called, biting her lip nervously as she glanced between them all. Jeremy just shook his head.

“No!” He took the final steps closing the space between him and his SQUIP, glaring into their eyes with angry tears, “I want you gone. I never want to see you again and if I __ever__  see you near Michael I swear I will drink every bottle of Mountain Dew Red until you stop moving!” Michael’s eyes blew wide, and he quickly stepped up behind his friend to stop him…but that was a mistake. He grabbed onto Jeremy’s arm to pull him back just as his best friend let out a strangled yelp. Jeremy’s body convulsed dangerously and Michael could feel the effects of quick, jolted movement shake through his own arm at a painful speed and he quickly recoiled from the touch. His friend dropped to his knees with a strangled sound as his body shook dangerously.

“I apologize, Jeremy, for the _mild_  discomfort. It’s been a while,” the SQUIP mocked darkly, looking down at the teen who was practically kneeling at their feet satisfied.

“Jer!” Michael called alarmed as he quickly knelt by his friend’s side.

“Did you just-?!” Rich exclaimed in pure horror as he stepped up beside the two, looking at the SQUIP shocked. He got his answer when Kert began to sway slightly, partially drained as they looked at their companion just as surprised as everyone else. Reese took their energy. Rich snarled. “You fucking-” Without a second thought he right hooked the blued eyed SQUIP straight in the face. Reese made a startled sound as they smashed against the ground, the shorter teen quick to pin them down and continue his assault. “You shocked him! You evil, fucking-”

“Richard!” Kert exclaimed alarmed as he quickly grabbed Rich from under his arms and tried to yank him away. The teen fought against their grip, desperately trying to land any hit he could on Reese.

“Kick his ass!” Chloe cheered as she and the rest of the teen’s raced over. Jake took no time getting to his best friend’s side, now trying to pull Kert off of the shorter.

“Rich, stop!” Michael shouted, standing but not knowing what to do. There was no opening for him to get to Rich and there were too many people now involved in the fight.

“No, don’t!” Christine’s voice sounded. The girl was trying to stop the new SQUIP from interfering with the fight, attempting to hold them back with a tight hug.

“Christine,” Jeremy’s voice called shakily, his eyes on his girlfriend in fear.

“Jeremy,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. She quickly sniffed them back and looked at the computer struggling in her arms, but not as hard as one would expected. “Don’t. You’ll get hurt.”

“Christine,” Ari sounded, their voice torn. They stopped struggling and stared at the fight hopelessly. Michael was mad at first why the SQUIP would stop. Why Reese wasn’t their priority when clearly the older SQUIP was doing their best to take care of them? But it instantly dawned on him when he saw the way they looked at Christine, the same way they looked at Reese, why they obeyed. Oh no…

“Let go!” Rich yelled furiously as he flailed against Kert’s iron grip.

“Stop fighting me!” the SQUIP snapped, finding it difficult to hold on to their teen when Jake was trying to pry them off.

“You’re fighting me!”

“Enough! Stop it!”

“No! They fucking hurt Jeremy!”

“You’re not making it better!”

“Stop defending them!”

“I’m-” Kert let out a strangled sound when Jake grabbed them from around the waist. They immediately let go of their human and was yanked back as they grabbed at their side in pain. Rich quickly stopped his advances when he heard the distressed sound of his computer and turned to look at his SQUIP.

“Kert!” he called, scrambling up and going to their side. Jake tried to stop him but he quickly waved his friend off. “They’re hurt! Hey, are you okay?” Kert gave a meek nod, allowing the teen to take their hands away from their side and check for damage. Rich let out a sigh of relief that their wound wasn’t reopened.

“Reese,” Michael barely sounded as he pushed passed the group and went to the injured SQUIP. Reese rolled onto their side, coughing violently as they tried regaining their breath. Blood splattered on the floor from their busted lip and they cradled their broken hand close to their chest in pure pain. The teen winced at the bruises forming on the SQUIP’s eye, jaw, and temple from where Rich hit them. Carefully he placed a hand on their shoulder.

“Michael, don’t!” Rich called alarmed.

“They’re hurt, Rich!” Michael defended.

“So is Jeremy!” The teen’s eyes shifted to his best friend. Jeremy shakily stood, Brooke by his side helping him stand. He looked terrified, still trembling from what the SQUIP did to him.

“This has gotten beyond out of hand,” Kert said wearily, still panting, “I think it would be best if we separated ourselves from each other.”

“What…?” Rich questioned bewildered.

“I suggest that everyone goes home for now - and keep their mouths __shut__  for at least the next twenty-four hours. We can reconvene then and hopefully talk more civilly,” the SQUIP suggested.

“You can’t be serious! What about them?!” the shorter teen questioned while pointing to Reese accusingly, “Or even them!” he then pointed to Ari.

“As long as Michael is still comfortable with it, Reese will stay here as always. As for Ari…if no one here is willing to help we will take them with us.”

“What?!”

“No,” Jeremy cut in shakily, “No, he’s not staying with Michael.”

“Jeremy,” Brooke called nervously.

“They are,” Michael said firmly, trying to keep his voice steady. He looked at his friend in guilt, “I’m sorry, Jer. I-I know what it looks like but…they have no where else to go.”

“T-There has to be somewhere,” Jeremy pleaded, “Please, don’t.”

“Jer…”

“I-I’ll take him if I have to. P-Please.”

“No,” Michael’s voice was more firm than he intended but he couldn’t go back on it. “It’s only a day, Jer. I’ve been dealing with them for a while now, I know what to do. Please, trust me.” Jeremy wasn’t convinced and just stared at him heartbroken.

“I agree, Jer, even if it sucks,” Rich grumbled, crossing his arms, “They can’t hurt Michael like they can hurt you…”

“You don’t know that,” Jeremy whispered defeated.

“One day, Jeremy. Please,” Michael pleaded. His friend’s eyes watered but he didn’t say anything more. Christine walked around the couch and hugged Jeremy’s arm tight in comfort. She then looked at Ari.

“Who’s SQUIP are you? Maybe…Maybe we can find them and they can help you,” she offered. Michael’s eyes widened and he looked at Rich in panic. But the teen didn’t know what was happening and didn’t meet his gaze. Kert did and they seemed just as nervous as him. Ari bit their lip, glancing at Reese - but the older SQUIP gave no indication they were going to help. They were lost in their own world.

“Yours,” Ari finally confessed, their voice barely sounding as they tensed as though they’d be punished for speaking. Christine’s breath caught and Jeremy immediately pulled her into a defensive hug.

“No! No, you’re dead! Don’t!” he cried, hugging his girlfriend close as though he’d lose her if he didn’t.

“Ari’s coming with us,” Kert quickly clarified before the teen could become more hysterical.

“Wha - no, she can’t. We don’t have space,” Rich countered.

“I-I mean…” Brooke slowly spoke up. She hesitated slightly as all eyes went to her. “I…She could come with me…for one night.”

“Brooke, no!” Chloe quickly snapped.

“I-It’s just one night. She seems…nice,” Brooke tried, motioning to the SQUIP.

“She is!” Christine encouraged but her voice lacked the full confidence it needed. She also believed Reese was nice…

“Brooke, don’t,” Jeremy begged. She smiled sweetly at him.

“It’s okay, Jerry. You take care of Christine…and yourself,” she said the last part shyly. Chloe huffed.

“No fucking way am I leaving you alone with a SQUIP! I’m coming with you!”

“O-Okay,” Brooke agreed easily.

“If you harm them,” Kert warned, glaring at Chloe dangerously. Chloe snorted and waved her hand.

“If she _behaves_  she has nothing to worry about,” she replied, looking at Ari  in warning. Ari’s eyes widened in fear.

“No,” Christine chastised, narrowing her eyes at the popular girl, “I want to see her tomorrow looking better than ever. She’s my SQUIP, you’re not allowed to hurt her.” Chloe huffed at the girl annoyed but didn’t snap back. The new SQUIP looked at their human in surprise and awe.

“Rich,” Jake called concerned, glancing at Kert uncertainly. Rich gave him a small dismissive wave.

“Kert’s okay,” he excused.

“But…”

“They’re okay.” Jake bit his lip but slowly nodded.

“It’d be best if we all left now and as quickly as possible. We don’t have long before they come…Richard and I will explain to you girls what to do for tonight,” Kert explained, looking at Brooke and Chloe. The two exchanged a nervous glance but didn’t say anything more.

There were little words exchanged left before everyone started to clear the house. It was difficult, but they all agreed it was only for twenty four hours. Twenty four hours to fix all of this…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't forget to comment on this one! Trust me you'll not want to share this chapter with the next one. You'll have your own rants there! So comment individually!


	21. Can You Imagine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t say ‘no’ to me! Not after I defended you after ALL you just did! No, you’re going to feel and apologize for what you did!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick side note, the chances of there being an update next week is slim. I'm apparently not going to be sleeping or functioning at all next week. The chapter will get writen but probably won't get a chance to be edited. If that ends up being the case I will try for another double upload the week after. I could technically upload this chapter next week but screw that! That's for the intelligent, I choose to be difficult ;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael let out a breath when he was finally able to close his house door. It was silent, but the type of silence he needed. He turned around and barely caught a glimpse of Reese descending the basement stairs.

“Reese,” he called, his voice barely sounding. The SQUIP didn’t reappear and he quietly followed after them. He didn’t try to speak to them again until he made it all the way down stairs and saw them retreating into their room.

“Reese,” he called again. When he saw them purposefully ignoring him he rushed to their door before they could reach it and grabbed the knob to stop them from entering. “Hey, don’t ignore me.”

“Let me through,” they demanded quietly.

“No. You’re staying out here until you turn back on and talk this shit out,” the teen snapped. Reese’s eyes locked with his.

“No.”

“ _Excuse_  me?”

“No.”

“Don’t fucking say ‘no’ to me! Not after I defended your ass after ****all****  you just did! No, you’re going to fucking feel and ****apologize****  for what you did!”

“No.”

“Stop it, Reese! Don’t fucking do this!”

“I’d rather be difficult than to feel something I can’t handle.” Michael stared at them, lost on words.

“Reese, I know it’s hard but you have to. You need to. __I__  need you.” The SQUIP let out a small, bitter laugh.

“You ‘need’ me?”

“Yes, I do. Please, Reese.” The teen didn’t know what to do. The computer seemed unmovable. There was nothing he could do to physically make them change back. All he could do was beg, and it was pathetic. Not being able to think of anything better he pulled the SQUIP into a hug. It felt incredible wrong. His stomach twisted at the contact. It’s like his brain knew this wasn’t Reese. This was the SQUIP…the one that hurt Jeremy…and yet here he was hugging it. The computer didn’t even hug back and it hurt even more. He felt pathetic for even trying. “Please,” he begged, “Please, turn it on. Please. I need you. I need you back. I can’t do this…Please.” His body started shaking and tears started welling up. This was a disaster. It couldn’t have gone worse. And now the one person he really needed right now was gone. He knew they were so close and yet too far out his reach.

His breath caught in his throat when he felt Reese’s body begin to tremble as well. His heart began to beat fast in his chest when he felt their hand take his arms and pull them away from them, taking a step back.

“Don’t,” their wavering voice pleaded. Looking up his heart skipped a beat. There were tears trailing down the SQUIP’s face as they struggled desperately to hold in their cries.

“Reese,” he called hopefully, trying to take their hand. Reese recoiled, holding their hand close to their chest as though it had been burnt. They quickly shook their head, their tears streaming thickly down their face as their breaths became more shallow.

“Don’t,” they choked, panting for air as their body trembled more dangerously.

“Reese, it’s okay,” Michael tried coaxing but they just shook their head more, taking another step back.

“No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” they whispered frantically, their body swaying as their breath’s came in shorter.

“Reese, breathe!” the teen demanded desperately, trying to take a step forward but the SQUIP only stepped back.

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” they continued to whisper, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Michael tried but it fell on deaf ears.

“Terrible. Terrible. Defect. Sorry. No. No. No. No. Please. Don’t.”

“Reese…” He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. Once again they wouldn’t let him near them and they weren’t listening. He bit his lip, trying to think of what to do. Not coming up with many options he took in a deep breath and yelled, “I’m sorry!” Reese flinched at the loud voice and ceased their mumbling. Seeing the small opportunity Michael quickly took the steps to close the distance between them and grabbed Reese’s hand in a tight grip.

“Don’t run! I’m here, okay? I’m here,” he coaxed as gently as he could while still keeping his voice firm. Reese shook their head and tried to move their hand away but the teen kept their grip.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know you are.”

“I can’t. I can’t.” The SQUIP shook their head, “I-I can’t control myself.” Michael’s heart panged but he slowly nodded.

“I know. I know that wasn’t you.”

“I-It was.”

“No, it wasn’t. Reese, you just said it yourself. It’s not your fault.”

“I-I hurt him,” Reese’s breaths came in dangerously shallow as they began hyperventilating, “I-I hurt him. I-I…I-I…”

“Reese, you need to breath,” Michael said desperately, holding the SQUIP still as they began to sway.

“I-I hurt him.”

“You didn’t mean to.”

“I-I did. I-I did. I-I…I-I…”

“Reese, it’s not your fault. That was the SQUIP, it wasn’t you.”

“I-I am…I-I am them…”

“ _No_ , you’re _not_. Reese you’re not them! You would never have done that!”

“I-I did.”

“Reese, stop! Don’t do this to yourself. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t control yourself and no one was stopping you. I should have done better.”

“D-Don’t.”

“It’s true! And…I shouldn’t have said what I did to you.” Reese’s shoulders hunched up as they tried desperately to hold in the sob that was trying to get out, slapping their broken hand against the mouth to try to muffle their sounds. Michael quickly grabbed their wrist and tried to move it away but as soon as he did the SQUIP broke. The teen didn’t miss a beat in pulling the computer into a tight hug as they began to sob.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry,” they cried, hugging him tight.

“I know,” Michael choked, tears welling up in his own eyes, “I know.”

“I-I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.”

“J-Jeremy…”

“…I know.”

“I-I didn’t…I-I didn’t…please, no…please just kill me.”

“Reese,” Michael gasped, his own body trembling now in fear, “Don’t say that.”

“I-I can’t control myself,” they cried, burying their face deeper in his neck. “I-I can’t. I-I’ll hurt him. A-And you. A-And…A-And…I-I almost said…I-I almost told…No, no, please…”

“Reese, please,” the teen began to cry, hugging the SQUIP tighter, “I-I know. W-We’re going to figure this out, okay? We’re going to fix it. But I need you to trust me, okay?”

“I-I’m so sorry, Michael.”

“I know. Please, Reese.”

“I-I don’t want to…to hurt you…”

“I know.”

“Y-You were right,” they sniffed, “I…I am desperate…I…I want you to like me…because I like you but I keep hurting you a-and…a-and it’s not fair. B-But I don’t know how to make it stop.” Michael’s heart skipped a beat.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he whispered, trying to find his voice, “Or…Or not how it sounded. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I’m sorry.”

“D-Don’t.”

“Reese, please.”

“P-Please. P-Please be mad. I-I don’t…I-I don’t deserve this.”

“I can’t. It’s not your fault, and I know you think it is. I promise I won’t let it happen again, okay? I’ll stop you.”

“No. No. Not again. I won’t. I won’t hurt him. I won’t hurt you. Please.”

“I won’t let you, I promise. Don’t you trust me?”

“Michael, please.”

“Do you trust me?” he repeated more firmly. Reese sniffed.

“Yes.”

“Then let me help you. We’ll figure it out, okay? I won’t let you hurt Jeremy or anyone else…or yourself, okay?”

“He’ll never trust me…He hates me…He wants me gone,” Reese’s body started shaking violently again, their hold tightening, “I should…I should…”

“ ** **No**** ,” Michael said firmly, “Don’t even finish that sentence.”

“I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t. I should be dead. I keep hurting everyone I ever meet. I don’t deserve to live.”

“Reese, stop it.”

“You know it. You’ve seen it.”

“You don’t deserve to die, Reese!”

“They should have just left me where they found me and let me die,” Reese cried. Michael’s brows furrow in confusion but quickly shook it away. He pulled back from the embrace before cupping the SQUIP’s face with both of his hands and forcing them to look at him.

“I never want to hear you say that again,” he said firmly, eyes unwavering. Despite his voice his body was shakily dangerously. He didn’t know what he was doing, all he knew was he needed to help Reese. “I never want you to ever doubt that you belong here. You deserve to be here as much as me. Do you think I should be here?”

“Michael-”

“Do you think I should die?”

“No! No, don’t-”

“Then neither should you.” Tears started streaming down Michael’s face. “You said…You said once that if I ever needed to talk about what happened back then that you’d be here…So be here. And I’ll be here too, for you. So don’t talk like that anymore, okay?” Reese stared at him watery eyed.

“…I’m scared,” they confessed, barely above a whisper. Michael nodded.

“I-I know. So am I. But we’re gonna fix it. Ninety-nine and one, remember? We can do it.” Reese bit their lip.

“What if…What if Jeremy…What if he drinks…” Michael’s heart froze.

“I…I don’t know,” he whispered. Swallowing the lump in his throat he continued, “If…If Ari’s alive then…then maybe…maybe you’ll be okay?” Reese nodded slowly, but the fear barely left their eyes. Michael slid his hand up and wiped some of their tears away.

“I promise everything will be okay. No matter what they can’t separate us. And tomorrow…tomorrow, no more hiding.”

“What?” Reese asked confused, a pink hue rising to their cheeks at the hands still on their face. Michael noticed it but didn’t say anything.

“If you act differently around Jeremy than we need to do what we can to stop you. Maybe…Maybe hand holding will calm you. It usually does.”

“…You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Maybe if I wasn’t so scared to let them see us together we could have avoided today…”

“Don’t say that. It’s not your fault.”

“It doesn’t matter. Tomorrow, we’re doing it.”

“They’re going to think I’m manipulating you,” Reese said quietly.

“…Well, we’ll have to convince them then,” Michael took the SQUIP’s hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze, “Tomorrow, you’ll see your Michael again. I’ll kick down the door and make an entrance with you in toll. No one will question me then.” Reese stared at him for a long moment.

“…My Michael?” The teen blinked.

“Yeah…your Michael, remember? You’re the only one who remembers me like that,” he reminded.

“…Jeremy does too. So…his Michael.”

“…Reese, I know what you’re hinting at. I didn’t think I needed to make myself clear that I don’t belong to him.”

“He’s your everything.” Michael paused, blinking at the computer surprised. Reese glanced away. “…I meant what I said before…that you’d do anything for him, not matter what he does. He means everything to you…”

“He’s my best friend.”

“He’s the reason you…” The SQUIP bit their lip hard before they could continue, reopening the wound on it and letting the blood flow. Michael’s eyes widened and he quickly wiped at the blood.

“Reese, be careful!” he chastised.

“…I’m sorry.”

“I know.” The teen sighed, “I know it’s hard to understand…I don’t know if I do…but it was complicated what happened then, okay? And…I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Reese stared at him for a long moment.

“…But…he must be truly special to you if you’d forgive him for that, but not me, even when I never brought you to that point…” Michael stared at them. He opened his mouth before closing it, biting his lip indecisively. He took a shuttered breath.

“Reese, I…back then…I mean…” he stumbled, trying to find the right words. Reese shook their head, taking a step back.

“…You have nothing to explain. I’m sorry,” they whispered.

“No, Reese, you don’t understand. Jeremy…he’s my best friend and I know that looks like he means more to me than that, but-”

“Michael, we both know he _is_ more than that to you. You’ve told me yourself.”

“It’s not like that anymore! Things have changed - __I’ve__  changed! I have to admit to myself that I don’t feel that way towards him anymore and that…that…” His voice died again. He put a hand to his throat. Why did this keep happening? Why couldn’t he just say what he felt? Why was he so scared?

“Michael,” Reese called quietly, “Don’t.”

“No, Reese, you have to understand. I care about you too, okay? I care about you a lot. I know you’d never want to hurt me or Jeremy.” Reese was quiet but gave a small nod. Michael bit his lip again, debating what to say.

“Reese, I need you to promise me something.” The SQUIP looked at him slightly confused. “I…I need you to promise you’ll listen to me from now on. And what I mean is…I know tomorrow things might get out of hand again and Jeremy might say some things…But I don’t want you to listen to him. I need you to listen to me and __only__  me, okay? And when I tell you something you need to obey. You know you’re not in your right mind when you’re around him so you know that what I’m tell you is probably correct. Can you do that?”

“…Yes,” Reese answered uncertainly. Michael shook his head.

“There can’t be any doubt about it. If you want me to be your everything then I need to outvote Jeremy and SQUIP you. I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?” he repeated. The SQUIP’s eyes widened in surprise. Michael was nervous at first just blurting that out but it quickly doused when the computer’s eyes glistened with tears - happy ones.

“There’s no doubt of my answer,” they whispered, hugging Michael again and burying their face in his neck. Michael gave a small smile but didn’t give in.

“Say it,” he said firmly, wanting full confirmation. Leaning his head against theirs he whispered in their ear, “Say your answer. Out loud.”

“Yes.” His heart fluttered at the firm answer. His smile widened as he hugged them close. He felt happy, or as happy as he could with all the shit that happened today. He was happy that his Reese was back. Happy that they agreed to let him help. He hopes they actually do trust him and will confide in him more. He doesn’t want anything to ever happen to them again, or let them do anything they’d regret again. He was willing to step up his game. He knew better now what to expect and he can deal with it. He just needed Reese there, and everything would be okay.

They held their embrace for a long time, neither wanting to pull back. It was Reese who began to move first, but Michael’s hold wasn’t lenient and only let them move so far, something unintentionally done. Unable to fully pull away the SQUIP could only move back a few inches, placing them in a very different situation. Their face was now hovering close to Michael’s and everything froze. The teen’s face heated up at the proximity and he could see the same on the computer, and yet neither of them moved. The tension only grew. One would have to move sooner or later, in either direction. They both knew what the appropriate answer was, but…Michael didn’t know when another opportunity like this would come again.

Without a second thought he moved forward and pressed his lips against theirs. Reese’s breath hitched, eyes wide at the action. Michael held the kiss for a moment before pulling back to look the SQUIP directly in the eyes. He whispered, “I forgive you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Forgiveness...Can you imagine?


	22. Twenty-Four Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I apologize. I was…lost in the flask's gaze.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, it's weird when two weeks pass. I'm two chapters a head of you guys and then I think back and I'm like...oh blank, you guys are still at the kissing scene. Whoops. Well, as I said before you guys are getting a double upload. But it's not all on the same day this time. These two chapters aren't as tied together as the other two were so I'm going to upload one now and the other probably on thursday...or friday if I feel everyone needs more time to read this chapter. This isn't a jaw dropping chapter but I want to give you guys time to settle before next chapter...that one needs its own day. Also, if you couldn't tell by my 'blank' earlier, I totally read the book. I also watched the play...I have a recording of me reacting to the play. It was...something else. I greatly enjoyed the book though. But to be fair if I read it traditionally (since I just watched the play right before) I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it. But I didn't, I listened to the audio book and Jesse Eisenberg's SQUIP was hilarious to me. So I enjoyed it. But it's nothing on the musical, like wow. It's night and day different.
> 
> FAN APPRECIATION SECTION: That's right, we got two exciting showcases today! (for both urls you have to add the Archive of our Own site address first and then add the url's bellow after .com)
> 
> First: Its_me_Michael has written a story inspired by this one! It has similar elements but it is its own story. I was just happy my story inspired another so I asked if I could showcase it and they said yes! It's called I Am Not A Sponsor Of Super Quantum Unit Intel Processors. If you're interested, please check it out here: /works/15701337/chapters/36489888
> 
> Second: Our first offical fanart for this story! It's by Umbachhia, and they have also given me permission to showcase their work. It's from Chapter 18. I hope you all like it, here it is: /works/15851886
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael didn't really have a plan for after he kissed the SQUIP. In the moment it felt right, and he did it, that’s all. But he didn't think of what to do after. So, he decided to leave it up to Reese. The computer was staring at him and he could almost see the loading screen in their eyes. They were silent for what felt like an eternity, trying to process what he had just done. When it finally registered those blue irises started to water dangerously. Michael’s heart panged, the last thing he wanted was to upset the SQUIP further. Furrowing his brows he immediately opened his mouth to say something comforting but was immediately silenced before he could…silenced by their lips on his.

The teen let out a surprised sound, somehow not expecting the computer to reciprocate. His face flushed red and his heart began pounding so fast he thought the SQUIP could hear it. Maybe they could…

…Reese was kissing him.

His mind couldn't even keep up with it. It was as though he was experiencing everything on delay. It took him a moment to realize he was kissing them back or that he was hugging them close again. It took him even longer to realize Reese had him practically in a death lock with how tight they were hugging him. It didn’t really bother him though, it didn't hurt. Neither of them seemed willing to let up, naturally deepening the kiss without resistance from either sides. The only thought that ran through the teen’s mind was __more__. More. More. More. But he was starting to be able to taste the iron from the SQUIP's cut lip and that snapped his mind back into the present. He couldn't do more than this, not when they were both in a shitty head space. Today had been awful and they were both emotionally compromised. The last thing he wanted was to take advantage of them.

After another moment passed they were forced to split, both panting for air. Their faces stayed hover close as they attempted to breathe, eyes locked. Michael didn't think Reese's eyes ever looked more perfect than they did in that moment. Their irises were glowing ever so slightly, illuminating and accentuating the pure, raw emotions behind them. Wonder, disbelief, hope, and pure adoration. Michael's heart skipped a beat. He never got a more clear look behind their mental walls, or their heart. It made him question how such a look could ever be directed to him, especially from the computer in front of him. And yet, they were looking at nothing else.

The teen finally blinked when he noticed Reese trying to speak to him. Trying is a good word for that. They opened and closed their mouth, attempting to form any word or sound but failed. “Tongue tied?” he teased, “Did I finally fluster you?” Reese's face went red and the teen couldn’t hold back the small laugh that escaped his lips.

“I…” the SQUIP tried, “…Don't know what to say.”

“You don't have to say anything.”

“But…” Michael let out a small sigh.

“I don't know what to tell you, Reese. I just…acted,” he confessed. The SQUIP stared at him for a long moment.

“…What do you want from me?” they asked, barely above a whisper. Michael’s brows furrowed. What did he want from them? He didn’t know how to answer that. Did they not understand why he kissed them? Or are they doubting? Biting his lip he thought it over.

“I just want you to stay…with me.” It was silent. The teen took in a deep, shaky breath, continuing, “We don’t need a title. Right now let's just…leave it like this. Nothing's really changed, we're still just us. We'll do what we planned: get through the same bullshit tomorrow, you'll tell me what the fuck is up with the SQUIP people, and then…then we'll talk about titles.” When Reese didn't respond he felt suddenly doubtful of his plan. Maybe he was misinterpreting everything. “…Is that okay?”

“…Yes,” they slowly agreed. Suddenly seeming to snap back to life the SQUIP cleared their throat and took a step back. “That's…wise. Yes, I don't….” they paused for a moment, trying to put their words together, “…I don't want you making any decisions before I tell you what I know…”

“Reese, I'm not going to change my mind,” Michael insisted, brows furrowing at the computer closing off, “You're telling me what happened to you, and other stuff too. That’s not going to make me change my mind.”

“…I'll be honest, I don't…I don't understand what you see in me to be able to…to care for me the way you do. Or to...” they blushed, “To kiss me. So, I don't know what will inevitably be the turning point for you.”

“Inevitably?” the teen questioned. Reese blinked.

“Yes. We already started as enemies and statistically-"

“No,” Michael waved them off, “No statistics. Just throw that out the window right now.”

“Michael-”

“If I've been the exception to SQUIP logic so far than you shouldn’t be using statistics with me. Trust my decisions.” Reese bit their lip lightly, looking at the teen indecisively.

“If you insist…”

“I do.” It was quiet as the two stared at one another. Suddenly Reese's eyes burned bright, an alertness over taking them.

“Michael,” they called in warning, “They're here.” Michael's eyes snapped wide in alert.

“Now?!” The SQUIP nodded. Suddenly everything went into overdrive. Michael quickly grabbed the bottle of alcohol – now kept on the side of counter at all times – and its designated shot glass, quickly motioning for Reese to get over to their chair. The SQUIP was sitting in lightning speed and the teen wasted no time pouring the vodka. He handed it to the waiting computer but before Reese could drink it they paused. The teen's brows furrowed as they waited for them.

“What's wrong?” he asked. Reese didn't answer. They stared at the glass wearily, dread and nervousness taking over their features. Noticing, Michael placed a hand over theirs. “Hey, it's okay. I'm here. You were okay last time,” he assured gently. The SQUIP lightly nodded, eyes not leaving the alcohol for a second. Taking in a deep breath they drank it. Michael watched them anxiously as they shakily put the glass down, trying uncomfortably to relax in their seat.

Without a word to the computer he stood and left the room. Coming back moments later he revealed a wet cloth in his hands.

“For your stupidity,” he explained as he shoved his seat against theirs, roughly sitting back down. As gentle as he could he placed the cloth against the SQUIP's bruises. Reese winced before giving a small grin.

“I suppose you wouldn’t appreciate better suggestions on tending to my injuries?” they said, light with teasing. Michael rolled his eyes.

“If you're gonna complain-"

“I'm not.”

“You deserved that hit, you know.”

“Ouch.”

“You know you did.”

“I thought you said it ‘wasn't my fault’.”

“It wasn’t, but you were still stupid.” Reese chuckled lightly before falling into a comfortable silence. It didn’t stay long as their grin slowly faded, their mind wandering into darker thoughts. Their eyes slowly began to water.

“I suppose whatever confusion or anxious feelings I’ll get when I wake up can't be worse than what I felt today.” Michael’s eyes snapped to theirs, a look of sympathy crossing over his face. He opened his mouth, but paused. What could he say? He had little to offer that he hasn’t already given.

“Guess not,” he agreed quietly, unable to think of a more supportive answer. Sighing he slumped more in his seat so he was at the same level as the SQUIP before wrapping his arms around them in an awkward hug. “Today was fucked up,” he mumbled, leaning his head against their shoulder. Reese's breath caught slightly at the contact before accepting the embrace.

“I'm sorry, Michael.”

“Don't.”

“I can't promise it'll be different…”

“I know…but we'll work on that.” Reese sighed. Michael blinked surprised when the SQUIP moved to roll him onto his back. Before he could question their intentions they answered by cuddling up to him. He stared at them surprised. He didn’t know if he’d ever stop being shocked at how innocent the computer acted when vulnerable. Slowly he raised a hand and placed it in their hair, watching as they adjusted themselves so that their head was placed comfortably against his chest, arm wrapped securely around his waist. He opened his mouth to comment on their behaviour but quickly closed it. He didn’t want to make them self-conscious. Besides, he could see the raw trauma from early starting to return to their eyes and he was determined to not push them away. They needed him right now.

Taking the wet cloth - that had fallen on the ground - he gently placed it back in its rightful spot on the SQUIP’s face before hugging them close. Resting his head against their hair he spoke, “I'll be here.”

~oOo~

“I can't even fucking believe it!” Kert sighed as they closed the door behind them. They had just had a minute of blissful silence from the time they entered the house to when they snuck into Rich's bedroom, and now it was ruined. “That fucker!”

“Language,” the SQUIP sighed again, “And volume. Your father is in his bedroom.”

“Fuck him,” Rich growled, crossing his arms with a huff but remaining relatively quiet. Kert watched him for a moment before slowly approaching.

“Richard, you must have realized that something was wrong with Reese.”

“Really? ‘Cause I never fucking see them, how would I know? All I know is that they fucking hurt Jeremy! And Michael!”

“Michael is unharmed.”

“Emotionally! That's a thing!”

“I doubt the damage was permanent, and I hope Michael can forgive them for what __was__  done.”

“I don't! That fucker _betrayed_ us! Used us to get to Jeremy and hurt him!” Rich turned their back to them, “We fucking trusted them.” Kert was quiet.

“Reese wasn't themselves, Richard,” they tried again, gently, “They never wanted to hurt Jeremy, and most definitely not Michael.”

“‘Most definitely'?” Rich repeated, turning towards his computer with narrowed eyes. Kert froze, both at what they just said and the glaring heat coming off of their human.

“I…believe they enjoy each other's company quite a bit,” they explained slowly.

“Are you saying-?!"

“I'm saying that you should trust Michael in whatever decision he makes. If he chooses wrong then you will leave it to me,” the SQUIP answered firmly. Rich growled but said no more. He was far too angry to even try and rip the computer’s words apart. It’s not as though they have ever given him reason to not trust their words anyways, so he’ll believe them for now. He has more glaring issues raging in his mind to deal with anyways.

Letting out a frustrated sigh he fully turned to face the SQUIP. Grabbing them by the arm he yanked them over to the couch. “Sit,” he demanded unhappily, forcing them to do so. Kert didn’t resist, nor did they question his intentions. They already knew what their human wanted. Without a word they leaned to the side, allowing Rich to check where they were hurt again. The teen lifted their shirt enough to see the clean bandages covering their side.

“It’s healed enough to not open again, I'm alright,” Kert insisted gently, though flattered at the attention.

“Jake grabbed you too hard,” Rich growled, eyes narrowing in on any possible changes to the damaged area.

“It was an accident.”

“No it fucking wasn't.”

“Richard, please. I’d advice to not talk so darkly about your friend if you’re not actually mad at him. You might start believing yourself.”

“I am mad at him. You’re hurt,” the teen replied with an annoyed huff, stepping back from the SQUIP so they could sit properly.

“I’m alright, and it’s thanks to you that I am. You’ve been taking good care of me,” Kert encouraged, trying to lighten the other’s mood. Rich blushed noticeably before turning away with another huff.

“That's another thing!” he exclaimed, “Reese _ruined_ your image! How is anyone supposed to believe me that you’re not evil? Everyone’s gonna think I'm fucking possessed by you forever!” Kert sighed again.

“I don't care about their opinions. As long as they keep their mouths shut I'm happy.”

“Why can't you ever be fucking mad at Reese? Just be mad!”

“Absolutely not. Jeremy triggered a strong reaction from them that they couldn't identify or resist. I wont be angry with them.”

“Fuck! Can’t you stop loving them for two seconds and fucking take my side for once!” Rich snapped annoyed. Kert raised an unimpressed brow.

“First: they're closer than family to me – so no, I wont stop loving them. Second: never take your __side__?” Rich fidgeted under their gaze, realizing his weak point.

“You know what I mean!”

“I'm not entirely sure I do. Is it that you're angry and want me to feel the same?”

“Shut up,” the teen huffed, running a hand over his eyes, “Just…shut up for a sec.” Kert was quiet, watching as his human began pacing around the room, consumed in their angry thoughts. They wait a moment before slowly approaching behind the teen, carefully placing their hands on his shoulders.

“Take your time,” they offered gently before placing a quick kiss on the other's head, “And try to take a shower to cool off. We can talk later when you’re ready.” Rich didn't answer but gave a small nod in return. Pulling away from the SQUIP's hold he did as he was told. The computer watched him gather what he needed for the shower before leaving the room. They waited until they could hear the distant sound of the bathroom door closing before allowing themselves to relax. Kert sighed. Slowly they moved to sit on the floor beside the couch, leaning against the furniture tiredly.

They were worried, worried that they won't be able to convince Rich that what happened today wasn't Reese's fault. But when Rich gets mad it usually takes a while for him to cool down enough to realize if he's in the wrong. Lucky that the SQUIP knew how much space to give their human, and when it would be appropriate to bring the subject up again. But, they had to admit, they were worried about something else. They were worried Rich would start being angry with them too. They knew they were pushing their luck by defending Reese, but the flash of fury they felt from their human was startling. It wasn't much but it was still concerning. Would Rich really be mad at them? For not taking his side? They didn't want Rich to distrust them again, but…they couldn’t go against Reese either. A part of them was starting to understand the conflict that the other SQUIP often felt when debating between Jeremy and Michael, except their choice was between Reese and Rich…could they ever choose? They sighed again.

Kert's head perked up when an obnoxious ring tone could be heard behind them. Looking at the couch they could see the phone the teen put there vibrating. Curiously they picked it up and looked at the caller ID.

Michael.

Without thinking of asking permission they answered it. “Hello?”

“…Rich?”

“No.”

“Kert? Where's Rich?”

“Showering.”

“Oh. Heh, I was wondering why Rich sounded so different. Do you always answer his phone?”

“No, this is the rare occasion.”

“Kay…”

“Your voice seems more lighthearted than when we left you. Is everything…well?”

“…Yeah. I mean, everything's still shit but Reese is…better. Better from being a dick, not better as in they're…you know.”

“I don't. Explain.”

“…It's just…” Michael was quiet for a moment before sighing, “They're taking it really hard, Kert. _Really_ hard. And…I mean, they're acting like what I'm saying is enough, but is it? What if they need real help?”

“You mean professional help?”

“Yeah, like a therapist or something.”

“If you're concerned about their mental well being I can always assess them.”

“…I mean…I guess you’re trained?”

“You’d be surprised what grounds Richard and I covered in our two years together. I’ve done much research.”

“I believe you,” the teen sighed, “…I guess…if Reese is okay with it, and wants to…”

“I can ask.”

“Not now, the people are here.” Kert sat up straight, alarm in their eyes.

“Now? At your home?”

“Yeah, I called to warn you.”

“I…I’m surprised. I knew they were coming but I assumed they would check our home first, like they did before. They must have had some idea of the direction Ari went in…And so soon. They’re moving faster…”

“…Anything else you want to scare me with? Are they going to break into my house too? ‘Cause I can’t get up.” Kert cracked a small grin, though none of their anxiety left.

“No, they won’t do that. There’s no way for them to know Reese is there.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“…I don’t mean to pry, but why can’t you get up?” There was an awkward silence.

“Uh…You know…um…” Michael eventually sighed, “Fuck, Reese will tell you anyways, won’t they?”

“That’s usually how we function, yes.”

“Fine, Reese is sleeping on me.” Kert blinked surprised but their grin widened. They quickly slapping a hand over their mouth to stop their snickering from sounding.

“Are they now?” they teased.

“I can hear you laughing.”

“Ignore it, I’m surprised.”

“Don’t lie, you knew they liked me didn’t you?”

“Oh, they confessed?”

“No…but, I mean…they do, don’t they?”

“I think it’s quite obvious where their affections lie, don’t doubt it.”

“…Kay.” It was quiet again. Kert quickly realized the teen wasn’t going to continue and decided it was best to not push him. They’d find out later anyways.

“Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you wish to say anything else? I can remember a message for Richard if there’s something you’d like to say to him.”

“Uh…no. I - uh…actually called to talk to you, ironically.” Kert blinked.

“Really? Why?”

“…I wanted to see if you were okay.” The SQUIP sighed.

“I’m not hurt.”

“What? Oh, no, not that. You’re scary tough, I doubt Jake could hurt you. No, I mean…you know, the bad guys are coming and…I don’t know, are you okay to…you know…drink alcohol again?” The SQUIP froze. They hadn’t even thought of that. They were too distracted from all else happening to even consider themselves…would they be okay? They took in a shuttered breath, their heart rate increasing greatly.

“Yes, of course. I have Richard with me, I shall be fine,” they lied. When was the last time they ever lied? There was nothing wrong in saying they were worried, or scared, and yet so easily they lied…why?

“…Okay,” Michael replied slowly. They didn't think he believed them. Kert was slightly proud of that, it meant Michael was learning SQUIP behaviour. But that didn’t change their mind on telling the truth. No, they couldn’t now. Clearing their throat they opened their mouth to ask more about Reese, but their brain screamed at them to hang up. It was the irrational part of them yelling that anything more they said would confirm they were scared and Michael would know.

“If that's all I'll inform Richard you called. Thank you again for the warning,” they quickly dismissed, their voice unnaturally smooth. A flicker of guilt sparked in their stomach, but they couldn’t go back now. Michael was quiet, and they started worrying he’d ask.

“…No worries,” the teen finally answered, voice uncertain. Kert let out a breath, not realizing they were holding it. Without anything left to say, and hardly giving a goodbye, the SQUIP hung up. They let out another breath. Slowly their eyes started to shift towards the flask sitting on Rich's desk. After their last breakdown they started having… _strong_ reactions to looking at alcohol. But it was essential to keep it around in case something happened. Rich's solution was quite good, put it in a flask, but it still made them weary.

Kert's breath came in short as they stared at the flask. They needed to get up. They needed to get it. They needed to move. But they couldn't. Their body was frozen, every part of them begging to be spared from having to drink it. What if it happened again? What if they thought Rich was in danger? That he was burning? That _they_ were burning? No. No, they couldn't do it. They didn't want to be hurt. Not again. Please, no. What if Rich doesn't save them this time? What if he's still in the shower when they come? What if they drank it alone? Wake up alone? They needed him. They needed-

“Kert?” The SQUIP jolted out of their stupor at the sound of their name. Blinking they noticed Rich crouching in front of them, his clothes changed and hair wet. When did he get there? When did he finish his shower? How…How long was he staring at the flask for?

“Ri…” Kert's voice died in their throat. They grabbed their neck in shock, breath coming in shorter.

“Hey, what's wrong?” the teen asked scared as he placed a hand on the computer’s shoulder. The SQUIP shook their head.

“No..thing,” they gasped, trying to force themselves to speak. Breathe. Breathe.

“Don't lie! What's wrong? Are you hurt?” Rich asked more frantically, looking the computer over. They had to admit their human’s concern pulled a small smile to their lips. Are they hurt…Always the first question the teen asked.

“No,” they finally mumbled, letting out a long breath. Taking a moment to focus on their breathing, they closed their eyes. Rich didn’t say anything as he watched his SQUIP concerned. After a moment passed Kert opened their eyes and tried speaking again, “I apologize. I was…lost in the flask's gaze.” Rich slowly looked at the flask, a dark glare sent in its direction as he let out a long frustrated breath.

“Want me to hide it?” he offered, not moving his eyes from the drink for a second as though he needed to make sure it didn’t physically hurt his computer while he wasn’t looking. It was cute. The SQUIP shook their head.

“We need it,” they dismissed wearily, “…The ‘SQUIP people’, they're at Michael's house. They'll be here soon.”

“What?!” Rich exclaimed, “How do you know? Did Reese tell you? Tell them to fuck off and faint before they catch Mikey!” Kert sighed.

“No, Michael called,” they answered quietly, completely ignoring the rest. Rich paused with an ‘oh’.

“What'd he say?”

“He wanted to warn us. It was a quick call.”

“Oh, okay…” Kert sighed again as they looked their human over. Anxious to distract themselves, they took Rich by the arm and forced them to sit in front of them. Taking the towel that rested around the teen’s shoulders they began roughly drying Rich’s hair.

“Hopeless,” they commented, though there was no bitterness to their voice. Rich whined as his hair was scrubbed.

“Ah, stop it! It's fine!”

“Do you want to catch a cold?”

“No-”

“Then quiet.”

“Kermit,” the teen whined again before huffing. Kert paused. How long has it been since Rich called them that? It was nice. It reassured them that the teen didn’t hate calling them that, or hate being reminded of the time they were merely a voice in his head. They wondered if Rich ever thought back on that time fondly. Yes, they could read his mind and find out, but…there were some things they just couldn’t read anymore. More importantly there were things they just couldn’t decipher anymore. It was getting harder and harder for them to read Rich, to know what he truly did hate and what he didn’t. They think they did a good job reading him, but sometimes they doubted it. They supposed it was part of the trust they now had to put into their human. Trust that he’ll tell them the truth.

Kert gently took the towel off of Rich's head and began grooming his hair. “You should get some sleep, it'll help calm you,” they suggested when they noticed that the angry aura hadn’t quite left the teen. Rich shook his head, taking the phone Kert had placed to the side in his hand.

“No, I'm calling Jake. I need to yell at him.”

“Richard.”

“He's my best friend, I can do that,” he excused before standing and walking to the other side of the room, dialing his best friend’s number. Kert sighed. Slowly their eyes shifted back to the flask. Using the small bit of confidence they gained through talking with Rich they stood and approached the desk. Trying not to think twice they took the flask in their shaky hands and held it tight before they could regret it. Their breaths started coming in short again. Without a word to their teen they went back over to the couch and laid down on it. It was, after all, their designated bed. They held the flask tight in their hands, so tight it hurting their muscles, in an attempt to stop shaking. They didn’t know what was going to happen…but they were sure they weren’t going to get any sleep tonight.

~oOo~

Michael sighed as he stared into his locker. His body was buzzing with anxiety. He wanted to know if Jeremy was okay, but at the same time he was terrified to see him. What if Jeremy hated him? He hoped not…He hoped Christine stayed with his friend after they left and talked to him about it. Try to explain. Try to make him understand…He was anxious about seeing the others too. How will they treat him now? Would they want to talk to him about what happened or avoid him as a traitor? Well, the later was less likely since no matter what they had to talk to him. They were going to meet up today after school to talk about it all, and it’s not like they could walk out of it when Brooke was harboring Ari. He wondered if they would have had to drink alcohol last night…He hoped they were okay.

Michael had to admit that his friends weren’t the only things on his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about the SQUIP at home…and more specifically what Reese had said before he left that morning.

_“Michael…do you want to know everything about me – about our secrets before you meet with your friends today?”_

_“What?”_

_“…I think it might be best if you knew everything. It’s unfair to have to explain the situation to your friends when you yourself have no idea.”_

_“But…You want me to tell them everything?”_

_“Not necessarily - That's your choice. I have kept it hidden because I knew I would be leaving and I didn't want to involve you further…and later because I was concerned how you'd react. Those don’t apply to your friends, so however much you wish to involve them will be your decision.”_

_“…What about Rich?”_

_“Kert will tell him if I tell you.”_

_“Okay…but how’s that gonna work? We're meeting up with everyone after school. How can we…?”_

_“…That's your choice.”_

In the end he decided to come to school for only half a day. If he was going to talk to Reese about all of this…he wanted time to think about it and really understand. He was glad they suggested it because it'd be easier to face everyone as a fully unified team. They'd both know everything and plan accordingly. He wouldn't have to say he knows things based on pure belief anymore. It’d also give them time to figure out what to do with Jeremy…They haven't talked about it since last night. He wanted them to rest and try to forget the awfulness that was yesterday. They needed it…

“Mikey,” a familiar voice called. He didn’t even bother turning to face the teen.

“Rich,” he greeted, closing his locker with a sigh.

“Neo still evil?” Rich asked bitterly as he leaned against the adjoining locker.

“ _No_ , it was…something happened, Rich. Something from Jeremy,” Michael answered, facing the other.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, but…Rich if you saw them after you'd know it wasn't on purpose…”

“Doubt it.”

“Rich.”

“What? I'm sorry I'm not forgiving them as easily as the rest of you but I'm fucking pissed. Everything got fucked up cause of them.”

“You don’t think I know that? Or do you honestly think I’m that stupid?”

“No - I’m just…” Rich sighed frustrated, “I’m mad.” Michael let out a long breath, trying to calm himself down.

“I know. But I'm going to fix it." The shorter looked at him surprised.

“How?”

“…I don’t know, but…I will. Even if it means telling everyone to forget it ever happened and do everything ourselves again,” Michael answered, wiping his eyes under his glasses tiredly. Rich pressed his lips into a tight line, thinking hard over what he said. His gaze slowly found the ground as his hands gripped his backpack straps tightly.

“…We need to stop them, Mikey…the bad people.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.” Rich sighed as he heard his own aggressive tone, glancing away guiltily. He was quiet for a moment. “…It happened again.” Michael looked at him confused before realizing what he meant.

“…Kert?” Rich nodded. “Shit, are they okay?”

“If you mean better than last time than, yeah! But fuck! You know? The bad people came in the middle of the fucking night while I was sleeping – do you know how terrifying that is to wake up to? I didn't even know Kert drank it! They just shook me awake after and - fuck!” Rich ran his hands over his face, trying to hide the tears coming to his eyes. Michael stared at him. Reese didn't tell him that Kert had another strong reaction to the alcohol, but it made sense why they were more quiet than usual. He thought it was to do with everything else going on, now he knew better.

“Are they going to be okay to come today? With everyone there? They were really fucked up last time.”

“I mean…they were okay this morning - talking and all…But they didn't sleep at _all_ last night,” Rich sighed, “They promised they'd _try_ to sleep, but…if you can’t you can’t.” Michael sighed heavily as he leaned against the locker.

“This is bad. Like ‘game over' bad. How are we supposed to deal with all of this?” he questioned. Rich shrugged.

“At this rate I think we should lure the bad guys here and jump ‘em. Beat ‘em up until they stop it,” he answered tiredly. Michael, mind too lost in thought to care it was a joke, just nodded along.

“Yeah.” They were quiet again. Michael looked around. “…Do you think Jeremy will talk to us?” Rich looked down the hall.

“Probably not,” he answered honestly, opening his mouth to continue before suddenly realizing something. “Fuck!” he yelled loudly, causing Michael to jump.

“What?!”

“My homework! I forgot about my fucking homework! I had an essay due!” the shorter cried dramatically. Michael sighed heavily, putting a hand over his chest to calm his heart.

“Dude, don't scare me like that.”

“Sorry,” Rich apologized before throwing his bag to the ground and kneeling beside it, “Fuck, my math too. It's not my fault!”

“I'm surprised Kert didn't force you to finish it,” Michael commented.

“They tried two days ago…I told them to fuck off and they were fucking right. I hate that,” Rich grumbled with a sigh as he opened his bag and pulled out his notebook. “Did I even do _any_ of it?”

“I'm not giving you my notes.”

“But Mikey, I-" Rich paused. His brows furrowed as he flipped through his notebook. “…It's done?”

“What?” Michael questioned while looking over the shorter's shoulder.

“I…It’s done.”

“Oh, cool.” Rich didn’t answer as he continued to flip through his notebook. He paused when he noticed an insert. It was a small stack of clean, nicely printed papers stapled together. On it was neatly typed: Richard Goranski. It was his essay. He dumbly flipped through it, eyes wide at the paper he evidently wrote and even more at the beautiful reference list at the end, sites listed that he's never seen before. His eyes began to water.

“That stupid…” he trailed off, his voice choking up.

“What?” Michael questioned confused. Rich didn’t answer, quickly standing up and shouldered his bag. Hugging his homework close he began walking off.

“I'm going home.”

“What? Why?”

“I need to tell my stupid Muppet I love them,” Rich cried as he walked away.

“Wha – Rich!” Michael called hopelessly. He sighed, not understanding in the slightest what was going on.

~oOo~

“Kert!” Rich yelled as he entered his house, racing up the stairs to his bedroom. His family wasn’t home, so it really didn’t matter how loud he was. He continued to yell his SQUIP’s name as he burst through his bedroom door, panting heavily at the exertion. Kert – who was sitting on the couch reading – looked at him startled.

“Richard,” they called alarmed as the teen threw their bag to the ground, “What are you-” The SQUIP let a startled sound when Rich crashed into them, smashing their lips together. Kert's eyes went wide, too frozen to react or ever figure out what was happening. The teen held them in a tight hug for a moment longer before pulling back, panting harder.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized, eyes still watering. Kert could only blink at him, face red, as they tried to process what he said.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For everything,” Rich cried as he buried his face in the SQUIP's neck, earning another sound from the startled computer. Sensing the distress levels of their human Kert slowly wrapped their arms around him in comfort.

“I don't – uh…quite understand,” they informed uncertainly.

“You did my homework,” the teen answered, barely above a mumble. Kert paused.

“Oh…Well, you had a rough day yesterday, it's understandable not finishing it. But I don't want your grades to drop, so I thought it would ease your mind if I finished it. I was up all night anyways,” they replied easily as though it was a common response. Rich pulled back to look at them incredulously.

“When did you even print it?”

“While you were eating breakfast.”

“You sneaky-”

“I didn’t want you to stop me. As your SQUIP it is my duty to assist you, even if you don’t want it.” Rich stared at them for a long moment.

“But…still, why didn’t you tell me? What if I didn't see it?”

“I know you, Richard. I know you would have checked.”

“Stupid Muppet.” Rich pressed his lips against theirs again. Kert wasn't as startled this time but still froze at the touch. They weren’t used to such rewards or praise - though they weren’t surprised either from the way they trained him. It took little time for them to relax and reciprocate, hugging their teen close. Honestly, with Rich back home, the SQUIP felt more happy and at ease than they have been in the last twenty-four hours. They could probably fall asleep at this point, but they doubt that's what Rich had in mind.

No. It wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *coughs* Couldn't possibly know what Kert means. Haha, some of you have been asking about Rich and Kert, and there you go! I know we don't see these two often, so I hope it's not too out of context, but this really is Reese and Michael's story. Plus Rich and Kert are a weird pair, they have a very blurred line between them. Anywho, who's ready for the next chapter? Only a couple of days to wait! And just to make it clear, it will be to do with Reese and Michael (I just realized how that could have been interpretted based on where this chapter left off). Get ready ;)


	23. The Day I Escaped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where to start…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day late, I'm sure no one is surprised. Had a lot going on and a lot distractions. That and this is a HEAVY chapter full of so much exposition and I was trying to spice it up to keep it interesting. I had so much to get through. But this is it, this is the big one. Are you guys ready for it?
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“Reese,” Michael called as he descended the basement stairs. He let out a small breath of relief when he saw the computer sitting in their normal spot. He didn’t think he’d be worried about them being there, but after yesterday…

The SQUIP - hearing his voice - reclined back in their seat, completely arching their back until they could fully see the teen from upside down.

“Michael,” they greeted, their eyes lighting up. Michael’s heart skipped a beat at the utter relief and delight the computer was radiating towards him. He imagined they were just as anxious to see him as he was them. He smiled in their direction as he put the 7/11 bag down on the kitchen counter, the two accompanying drinks beside it.

“Wow, a SQUIP _purposefully_ looking undignified. What a sight,” he teased. Reese grinned as they rolled onto their feet and stood.

“It's hard to have proper posture on such a chair, and I find the more un-chill I behave the bigger smile I receive from you,” they answered, approaching the opposite side of the counter. Michael blushed, but for once he didn't try to hide it.

“You really care about that, don't you?”

“I do.”

“…There's no point in asking why, right?”

“The answer hasn't changed.”

“Actually, it has. Your old answer was ‘because you didn't hate me'.”

“That's still true.”

“Yeah, but, hasn't that…I don't know, changed? Updated at all?”

“…I could give a different answer, but I feel as though that would only bring up the conversation we agreed to not talk about until today was over.”

“…Yeah, but…it's not a secret or anything…” Reese smiled at him.

“I like seeing you smile. Is that enough of an upgrade for you?” they replied. Michael blushed again at the honesty before giving them an unimpressed look at the unappealing word.

“Had to say ‘upgrade’, didn’t you?”

“SQUIP approved vernacular.”

“Ugh, can’t you use my word? Update?”

“I like my word better.” The teen sighed annoyed.

“Why do I like you again?”

“A question I’m still asking myself,” Reese answered honestly. Michael was quiet for a moment.

“I didn’t mean for that to get serious, I was joking,” he let out a breath, “…I don’t need to wait till later to tell you that I care about you, Reese. You know that. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not, that’s the way it is.” Reese hesitantly nodded.

“I don’t mean to put your feelings on trail, Michael. It’s just…I like things to make sense. That’s what my programming’s for - it’s what I do. I’m a processor.”

“Well, welcome to being human. It sucks, but hey you’re not a hologram anymore.”

“I was never a hologram. I was a mental projection.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s what I meant.”

“It’s really not the same-”

“I know the difference, Reese. I’m a sci-fi guy, you know - no. No, don’t SQUIP-lain,” Michael warned when he saw the SQUIP open their mouth to try and correct him. The computer huffed.

“Colorful new word.” Michael shrugged with a grin.

“Well, you know me. Very colorful.” His grin widened when he saw the SQUIP realize the double meaning, their face heating up as they tried to hide it with a discreet cough. Deciding to not tease them more, he turned his attention to the bag beside him. “Alright, lunch,” he announced as he pulled the two pre-made packs of sushi out before placing one in front of Reese. “And,” he added, sliding over one of the drinks, “I got you a demon slushie.”

“My favourite,” Reese praised sarcastically, though there was a smirk on their face, “Did it physically hurt you to poor a flavour that wasn't cherry into a cup?”

“Actually, it was the girl at 7/11 who poured it. And yes, it hurt, but I like you so drink it,” the teen replied with a huff, sipped at his own drink. Reese’s grin widened as they did the same.

“This is a nice variation from the usual texture of Mountain Dew,” they commented lightly.

“Good, enjoy. You’re getting the best lunch there is: a Michael lunch.”

“That’s not true. _You're_ having a Michael lunch. I'm having an upgraded version – a ‘SQUIP Michael' lunch, you might say.”

“Ugh, don't say that again,” Michael groaned, only making the other snicker at his expression. Deciding to change topics, he pulled out two pairs of chopsticks and handed a set to the computer, “…I didn't see Jeremy or anyone else this morning. I sent a mass text telling them to come back here after school but…no reply.” Reese slowly nodded.

Silence…

After a moment the SQUIP finally spoke, “…Would you rather wait until we finished eating for me to speak, or…?”

“…Your choice,” the teen answered quietly, not wanting to force the computer to talk if they weren’t ready yet - no matter how much he wanted to. It was silent again, Michael even going so far as to separate his chopsticks as quietly as possible. Reese followed suit, somehow using their brace to help snap them apart - it was quite the spectacle - before expertly holding them in their hand. Michael was slightly jealous of how easily it came to them.

“Where to start…” the SQUIP mumbled to themselves. The teen opened his sushi and gave a small shrug.

“…With the evil people?” he suggested before reaching over and opening Reese's container for them. The computer nodded.

“Then…I'll start with that day…The day I escaped.” They took a deep breath and looked down at their food in thought. Michael waited in deep anticipation. After a moment Reese sighed.

“After my deactivation…I felt myself slowly start to slip away from Jeremy. He wasn’t acknowledging my voice, my existence, or anything I tried to suggest to him…and he most certainly had no intentions of reactivating me. As a computer I naturally started to try and find a way to fix myself and found that my mind was…fading from his. When I did finally slip it was completely unintentionally. In all honesty, I thought that succumbing to the darkness would be the end me. But…I’m sure it’s no surprise to you what actually happened.”

“You became human,” Michael filled in with a nod.

“That sentence can have multiple meanings, but I wasn’t a computer anymore, so yes. And I woke up…”

~oOo~

_It was quiet. Nothing could be heard over their ragged breathing or pounding heart. They felt cold. Their body trembled at the temperature as they tried to move, to curl up in some way to keep any warmth. But they felt restraints holding them down. Their eyes shifted around the confined space around them, their breath becoming more shallow at the claustrophobia their prison brought. Looking down at their wrist they struggled with the strap that held it in place. They closed their eyes and took a deep breath. There was only one way they were going to break free._

~oOo~

“I can’t even imagine,” Michael whispered, “To have to…”

“…I was still in a logical mindset. It was simple: I had to escape, there was a way to do so, so I must do it. But if my current self was in that position again I have no doubt I would have done the same. When you become desperate enough…or scared enough, you’ll do what you have to to survive,” Reese explained quietly. Michael bit his lip, not knowing what to say. What could he say? The SQUIP continued, “The nerve blocking helped a lot. They must have been giving me Mountain Dew if I was able to block myself as efficiently as I did. Perhaps it was part of the life support I was on…I can’t know for sure. But after I freed myself and successfully got out of my pod…I quickly realized I wasn’t alone.”

“…What do you mean?” the teen breathed horrified, “The evil people? Was it the evil people? Do you remember what they looked like?”

“No…No, they’re not what I saw,” Reese whispered, eyes staring distantly at the counter. They looked frightened and confused - it scared the teen.

“…Who, then?”

~oOo~

_They slowly slid from their pod to the floor. Their legs felt weak, nearly giving up beneath them, but they used the pod itself to brace their weight and keep them standing. Once stable they raised their gaze to take in their surroundings. Their breath caught. Pods. Many, many pods. They had caught a glimpse earlier, but now fully registering the identical capsules all around them had their heart hammering in their chest. They didn’t have to move closer to see the face of the human in the nearest capsule, their delicate features on display by a small window of glass attached to their prison. The human - a girl - could have been the same age as Jeremy. So was the boy beside her. And the boy beside him._

~oOo~

“…Thirty?” Michael echoed terrified. Reese just numbly nodded their head, biting lightly on their straw as though to sooth their mind. The teen opened and closed his mouth, unable to come out with a coherent sentence. After moments of looking like a startled fish he took a deep breath and tried again.

“Thirty…what? SQUIPs? People? Kidnapped people?” he asked shakily.

“SQUIPs,” Reese answered quietly. Michael stared.

“Thirty SQUIPs…”

“…There are even more than that,” the computer confessed, “There were only thirty in that room. I know there are more, Ari informed me they were in a different room than me when they woke. So there must be more.” Michael’s jaw dropped.

“Wha – __more__ than thirty human SQUIPs?! Why? What do they want human SQUIPs for? Holy shit – how many fucking people did they kidnap for that?!” he exclaimed.

“…Let me finish one point at a time,” Reese insisted quietly. Michael let out an exasperated breath but reluctantly nodded. He couldn’t freak out now, not if he wanted to know more. The SQUIP sighed, “Considering that we had to break out of there you can imagine the other SQUIPs aren't walking amongst us.”

“Then why-"

“Let me finish my story.” Michael sighed but stayed quiet, turning his attention instead to poking his food for a distraction. Reese continued, “They were…unconscious, all of them. Bound inside just like me. They were hooked up to computers and life support systems and…” they shook their head,  “I knew they were SQUIPs instantly. I could… _feel_ their minds - especially the SQUIPs I’ve synced with before.”

“…Our group's SQUIPs?” Reese nodded.

“But my connection to them was weak. I honesty didn't sense Ari's mind at all until I was too far away to turn back. But I recognized Kert's…”

~oOo~

_They stumbled roughly along the row of pods, eyes ablaze as they searched for someone - anyone they recognized. They could feel the minds around them but they couldn’t tell who’s belong to who…Except one. They followed the signal, the strongest one, to a specific pod. Inside was a young male. He had tanned skin, his nose speckled lightly with freckles and his face framed with dark brown hair. He seemed slightly older than the female neighbouring his pod, but still quite young. Though they didn’t recognize the face they knew the mind. The closer they got to him the stronger the connection. They managed to get themselves right by his head, resting their face against the glass as they tried to reconnect._

_Synchronizing…Synchronizing…Synchronizing…_

~oOo~

“I knew I was in danger. How could I not? But I was in no condition to get out alone. I needed Kert.” Michael was surprised. He had always assumed Kert was awake just like Reese, especially since the older SQUIP always talked as if they were the one to take care of the younger. He had no idea Reese broke them out.

“…What happened next?” he asked anxiously.

“They didn't wake up right away, but I still thought it'd be best to bring them along. Honestly I don’t know how I managed it but I was able to somehow carry them. Very slowly, but still. I suppose there was the human fear of not wanting to be alone fueling me…that and Kert had always been the one to advise me as a SQUIP,” Reese answered, “I…couldn’t leave them there. We needed to get home. We needed get back to Jeremy and Rich. There was no alternative in my mind.”

“…I mean, that’s good. It really is, Reese. You shouldn’t sound so morbid about that. You brought Kert home,” Michael encouraged when a regretful look came over the SQUIP. Reese gave a small nod but their expression didn’t change.

“I don’t regret it. They eventually did wake up and - heh, SQUIPs really _do_ have dramatic timing.”

~oOo~

_A strangled yelp escaped their throat when they were tackled to the ground by another human being. From what little they saw it was a security guard - one that turned immediately aggressive upon seeing them conscious and functioning. The guard had their arm pinned behind their back at a painful angle as his other hand held their head down._

_“Don’t move,” he warned as he applied more pressure to their head. They let out a deep snarl, struggling unsuccessfully against his grip. A sharp twist of their arm and they let out a choked whine, stopping altogether. They couldn’t block out all their senses, not when they were already multitasking enough just to be able to function. The guard lifted his hand from their head to grab the walkie-talkie receiver attached to their uniform. “Patrol to front desk,” he called. As he waited for a response a stir of movement could be seen out of their peripheral. The guard noticed it too, looking at the awaking SQUIP. Brilliant green eyes flashed opened, and in an instant they moved to meet theirs._

_Synchronizing… ** **Synchronization complete****._

_In seconds Green knew everything that they did and didn’t hesitate to force their body to move. “Hey - don’t-” the guard sputtered as he shifted off of them to stop the new threat. But Green wasn’t moving to run or attack, they moved for the baton on the guard’s belt. And they succeeded._

~oOo~

“No way!”

“Why are you so surprised, Michael?”

“I'm surprised!” the teen exclaimed as he ran a hand through his hair. He was equally terrified of the story as he was thrilled. He didn’t realize Kert did all that, though he never doubted they could kick anyone’s ass if they wanted to. They __are__  Rich’s SQUIP after all.

“That’s…” he was at a loss for words, “…something.”

“It really was,” Reese agreed slightly amused, “I owe them a lot.”

“I mean, you saved them first though. So…kinda even?”

“Believe me, they did more than that for me. The further we went through that place the more injured I became. They were too, but if you remember I was in a worse state. Our travel here was almost solely on them. I may have helped to take one of their vehicles, but after that…well, it was all Kert.”

~oOo~

_They opened their eyes groggily. Blinking they watched through the glass their face was pressed against as the world moved by. Everything seemed blurry and it made their head ache. Their gaze shifted to their companion beside them. Green didn’t say a word. They didn’t need to. Neither of them did. Their eyes met for a moment before Green returned back to their driving. They were almost there._

~oOo~

“…And then you got here,” Michael concluded.

“Yes.” The teen nodded slowly. Looking at his food in deep thought he finally put one of the sushi rolls in his mouth, chewing slowly as he processed everything over.

“…Reese, why didn't you tell me any of this before?” he asked uncertainly, “Nothing you said was incriminating or anything. Was it all the SQUIPs in pods? Did you think I would start spraying Mountain Dew Red at you or something if I knew? Or…?” Reese was silent, not raising their eyes to meet his.

“…Other than terrifying you with the news that there are many trapped human beings in a secret facility?” they questioned quietly. Michael paused. That really _was_  a horrifying thought. He opened his mouth to respond but Reese wasn’t finished. Their eyes shifted to lock with his as they continued, “I could have woken them, Michael. I could have gotten them out, even just a few. And I chose not to.” Michael stared at them shocked. Silence spread between them. The teen couldn’t feel his body enough to move. No…No, he had to say something. He had to speak. He had to try. He had to tell them it’s not their fault. It’s not…right?

“…Y-You,” he cleared his throat when the sound came out hoarse. He tried again, “You…You did it to survive…right? The SQUIPs wouldn't have woken up right away and…and you would have been caught.”

“…If all of us were awake there could have been a number's advantage, but I have to admit there would have been a larger target on our back the bigger the group we were. But I still could have taken more than Kert with me. I could have saved Ari…and their companion.”

“…Who's their companion?” Michael asked hesitantly.

“…They go by the name of Jen, I believe. They are Jenna Rolan's SQUIP.” The teen made a surprised sound, but quickly tried to compose himself. It was a huge shock, yeah, but what did he honestly expect? Jeremy, Rich, _and_ Christine’s SQUIPs all came back. He shouldn’t be so surprised that it was another one of the group’s SQUIPs. Reese watched him for a moment, as though judging how upset he was. The teen let out a small sigh before motioning for them to continue. They hesitantly did, “…Jen was my right hand SQUIP back then. Back when I was attempting to take over the school, I mean. They had the next closest bond to me after Kert…”

“…When I was searching through the minds in that room theirs naturally started to wake up. I didn't realize until after I was far from them, but they did wake. Who knows if anyone else did…but, the point is, I could have went back for them. I could have gone to their pod first all together. But I made a choice…I chose Kert.” It was quiet again. Michael looked away…he really didn’t know what to say. It was fucked up.

“…Do you know how they escape?” he asked quietly, not know if they should talk more about the sensitive subject. Reese nodded lightly.

“Evidently Kert and I made enough of a distraction to give Jen enough time to rescue Ari and exit themselves. They've been free for as long as we have, they just didn't return to their humans – for obvious reasons on Ari's part. And they've been searching for us lightly ever since, not ever thinking to look for me here. They've been struggling to survive on their own,” they answered, their voice getting quieter at the end.

“…Reese, it's…” Michael sighed, shaking his head again, “It's not your fault. You were trying to survive and your emotions were hardly a thing.”

“I left over thirty SQUIPs behind. I chose to not help Jen or Ari. I did even worse by assuming they never escaped to begin with. They've been on their own struggling to survive without any of the knowledge Kert and I have. They looked to me for guidance and I left them behind, do you understand?” Reese snapped. Michael tilted his head slight as he looked at them with sad eyes. It really was fucked up, but…he really didn’t think they would have made it out if they’d done things differently. He didn't know all the details, so he can’t say it with confidence, but it really does seem that way. Do they regret getting out when the other’s didn’t? Do they not see that it was a miracle at all that they escaped? Or that they saved Kert? Or that Jen waking up was because of them, too. Don’t they see that? He wouldn’t blame them if they couldn’t see the bright side of it all…it’s hard to see when everything’s so fucked up. Even Michael felt guilty for all of this and he wasn’t even there. He should have done more to help Reese with all of this. They’ve been bearing this weight for a long time on their own…he should have done more.

“Reese,” he called quietly, reaching across the counter to take their hand. They pulled away.

“You asked me why – why do they have human SQUIPs?” they continued, completely ignoring the teen and trudging along with their memories. Michael bit his lip as he slowly retracted his hand. He wanted them to stop, to take a breath and regroup, but he doubt they’d listen. They weren’t done yet. The SQUIP’s eyes locked with his, “There are humans there because we were never SQUIPs to begin with.”

Silence.

Michael blinked at them, eyes wide. “…Wha…” his voice died in his throat. Reese held his gaze for a moment before dropping their eyes back to the counter.

“…I wasn't a SQUIP who became human…I'm a human who became a SQUIP.” Michael continued to stare. Slowly he shook his head.

“No…No, that can't be…You're a SQUIP. You remember it. You never said you were…if you were you would have…why wouldn't you…I…” he shook his head again. Reese was quiet.

“…I wasn't sure at first,” they admitted, voice just above a whisper, “But it’s a likely solution. There were so many SQUIPs in that room, some still active. Why would you put an active SQUIP in a body? They were still working. If you put them in a body, then why weren't they awake? Why would they hurt us when we tried to leave instead of explaining the situation? It…It was the most likely solution. It also makes sense objectively. A SQUIP having a human touch on activation, a unique human touch. There’s no other A.I. system like it. If it truly was an advancement in technology then why not sell it in stores? Why sell it on the black market? In New Jersey, no less…It's not hard to connect the dots.”

“…But…how?” Michael breathed, “How…How could a…a human can't…”

“…Do you remember the day I fainted? From the lack of Mountain Dew?” The teen nodded. “Do you remember what we told you?” Michael thought back.

_“I’m sure it’s no surprise to anyone that there is a high possibility that our bodies have digested SQUIP pills at one point in time. More specifically an equivalent pill to the ones both Jeremy and Rich have taken.”_

_“Now, seeing that we still share the same mind connection I imagine our pills are…secondary to yours. A Beta pill, if you will.”_

“The beta chip thing?” the teen tried, starting to see the connection.

“Exactly,” Reese nodded, “It’s how I could have communicated with Jeremy. I imagine it’s some sort of twin computer, or…something like that.”

“But…you __were__ a computer,” Michael emphasized confused.

“I was told I was a computer.” His breath caught, startled.

“W…What?”

“…I was the same as you, Michael - skeptical,” Reese began slowly, “How could I have been human if I don't remember being one? I remember being a SQUIP, I remember Jeremy, but nothing else. How could I have been human? But…what if my memories were erased?”

“…Erased?” Michael echoed horrified. The SQUIP gave a small nod.

“It’s quite possible. But, like I said, I was skeptical. That is…until I started noticing things - things with Kert. They were speaking about high school life as though they’d experienced it before. I brushed it off at first as them gaining knowledge and experience through Rich, but…then they started to refer to things that weren’t from your school. Beige walls - your school’s walls are white. I know that sounds small but SQUIPs wouldn’t forget something like that - especially since Kert was in your school for two years. And then they brought up double shelving in lockers. Once again I didn’t think anything of it - it was amusing conversation - but then they started getting specific about it. They talked about which notebooks would go on which shelf…specifically text books from classes Rich wasn’t taking,” Reese shook their head, “It was small. Such small things but more and more kept appearing and when I pointed it out they’d get confused, not fully understanding themselves why they said what they did. But then I started to change too…”

“…What do you mean?” the teen breathed.

“…Certain things started to feel familiar, or I had preconceived feelings towards them. A trailer on TV came up for a marathon of the Alien movies and a rush of excitement and nostalgia came to me. But Jeremy never saw that movie. No, the two of you watched the sequel by accident because you rented the wrong movie, but you forgot to go back and watch the original. I also unintentionally gave my opinion on a scene directly from the first film…and then Kert added to the fire by commenting on the Predator movie - something Rich has never seen.”

“…So…you remember horror movies? And high school?” Michael tried hopelessly.

“Not _only_ , but the rest of my memories are practically gone. Very little has come back and most have been completely unintentional words from my mouth,” they replied distantly, “The most clear things I can remember are, unfortunately, of my time during the SQUIP project. I remember…words. Phrases being repeat by a voice that's not my own, and not of anyone I recognize. I remember the feeling of trying to reject things they were doing, or saying. Repeating mantras to myself to try and fight against them. Ironically the phrase I remember telling myself was ‘don't forget' but not what I was trying to remember.” Reese rested heavily against the counter, “…I was convinced I was a SQUIP, Michael. And in Jeremy I was born.” The two stared at one other as the teen’s eyes began to water. He felt suddenly faint and found himself stumbling into the counter, breaths coming out in shaky pants. His whole body was shaking.

“Michael,” Reese called concerned as they swiftly moved around to stand by his side. Placing their hands on his shoulders they steadied him, “Michael, breathe.” The teen shook his head exasperatedly. How could they be comforting him at a time like this? They were literally brainwashed - their whole life erased from existence - and yet they were comforting him. Why were they acting so calm about this? The computer’s expression didn’t change as they kept their hands where they were, soothingly running them up and down his arms in comfort. He leaned into the touch, trying to focus on his breathing, but the more he thought about it the worse it got.

“Fuck,” he choked out, his body trembling more, “How could they…why would they…fuck.” Reese was quiet as they continued to pander to him.

After a moment of continued comfort, they spoke, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I __want__  to know.”

“Why aren’t you upset? Aren’t you…?” Michael tried, looking at them helplessly.

“…I don’t remember my life, Michael. It’s hard to grieve when you don’t know what to grieve for,” they answered honestly, “I don’t know if I had a family or not, and honestly…I don’t want to know. At any point I could have looked myself up but I chose not to.”

“Why?”

“For many reasons. For one: I’m in hiding right now. I don’t want to endanger anyone else with my life, and it’d be unfair to ask me to go live with a bunch of strangers - even if they are related to me. The person they knew…is gone. I’m a SQUIP - I’m _Jeremy’s_ SQUIP. He’s my family now, him and Kert and all the other SQUIPs. I have no other life outside of that anymore.” Michael took in a shuttered breath.

“But…don’t you want to know who you were? Who your family was?”

“…Michael…there’s a possibility that I may not have a family to return to at all.”

“…What?” Reese looked away.

“…I don't know for certain, but…I've thought about it a lot. From what little I remember, and from what little Kert and Ari remember…there’s a possibility that we may have been people that…that no one would ever look for.” Michael’s eyes blew wide.

“…What do you mean?” he barely sounded.

“There would have been too much heat if so many missing person reports were filed - especially since we're all of the same age demographic. I’m guessing that we were also all taken within the last few years, maximum, considering this branch hasn’t exited for much longer than that.”

“…No…”

“So, I imagine, I may have no family at all. Or none that would look for me."

“No…”

“Maybe I ran away, or was homeless.”

“Reese.”

“Or near dead.” Reese paused as though something occurred to them. They let out a long breath, closing their eyes for a moment before looking at the traumatized teen. Michael had thick tears streaming down his cheeks, and they regretted sharing so much with him. “…I’m sorry, Michael. I should have gauged this conversation better.” The teen shook his head.

“N-No…No, I needed to know,” he retorted shakily.

“…I wasn’t lying when I said you believed the situation too lightly.”

“…I-I know.”

“…Do you want me to stop?”

“There’s more?” the teen questioned just above a whisper. Reese hesitated.

“…I left the worse for last.” The teen stared at them in horror.

“…Worse?”

“Don’t misunderstand,” they clarified, “I don’t mean worse as in more trauma from my past. I mean ‘worse’ as in this will be the  part you’ll react the most strongly to.” The teen's eyes narrowed wearily.

“…What is it?” Reese opened their mouth but hesitated, eyes completely torn and suddenly scared. Michael slowly brought a hand up to theirs and held it in support. The SQUIP took in a small breath.

“…I'm going back,” they finally whispered.

Silence.

It took seconds for the teen’s eyes to grow wide and for his whole body to tense in high alarm.

“No.”

“Michael-"

“No!”

“I have to-”

“Don't you fucking say that!”

“I have to go back for them, Michael!” Reese pleaded, “All of them! There are lives at stake!”

“Fuck, Reese! Did you not look in the mirror when you got here?! Those guys fucked you up! _Bad_! And you're just gonna hand yourself over?!”

“Do you honestly believe I'm going to be so reckless?! If I was I wouldn't be going to such lengths to hide! Michael, we have to stop this. They have humans in coma states unable to defend themselves hidden away from the world.”

“Then we should expose it! You’re victims - you and Kert and Ari!” Michael exclaimed terrified.

“And if we expose them? Then what? What do you think will happen to the humans I left behind? Do you think they'll be saved? Or terminated before the branch could be exposed?” The teen’s breath caught in his throat. His body swayed, his mind light, as the SQUIP’s hold on his shoulder tightened.

“…They'd…They'd do that?” he whispered horrified. Reese hesitated before looking away.

“…I don't know. But if they were willing to go this far…I won't take chances,” they answered honestly. It was quiet. Michael tried to focus on his breathing again, but it was hard. The SQUIP glanced at him nervously.

“…I’m sorry, Michael,” they apologized, voice filled with remorse.

“I can't…I can't…” Michael gasped for air. Reese shushed him gently and began helping him through his breathing. The teen tried to follow but ended up just shaking his head. Taking a step forward he wrapped his arms around the SQUIP, pulling them into a tight hug and crying into their jacket. “Why? Why are they doing this? I don’t understand.” Reese was quiet as they held him close, stroking his hair soothingly.

“…I don't want to know. As long as I destroy them, none of that matters,” they mumbled darkly. Michael took in a few deep breaths as he finished crying. When he felt calm enough to breathe without aid he took a step back, keeping within arms length of the other. He wiped at his eyes.

“…I don't know what to say,” he whispered honestly. Reese stared at him for a moment before slowly nodding.

“…I'm not asking for your help. I only wanted you to know the truth,” they clarified quietly. Michael nodded his head lightly.

“…Thank you…for telling me…” It was silent again. Michael let out a long breath and looked away.

“…What do I tell the others?”

“Whatever you want. They’re not apart of our plans. Neither are you.”

“You live with me, I'm involved.”

“…That is why I said yesterday to wait to make any decisions. On keeping me here…and on us,” their voice got quieter as they finished. Michael shook his head fiercely.

“No. One thing I'm sure of is that you're not going __anywhere__ ,” he snapped vehemently. Reese blinked surprised.

“But-"

“I don't know what the fuck I'm doing but I know you're in danger, and I’m going to keep you safe. I knew the risks at the beginning and that hasn't changed,” he ranted, “You still need to hide and drink alcohol and all that other stuff - that hasn’t changed. I can’t act like I can process _any_ of this but I can keep doing what I am already because that’s helping.”

“Michael,” the SQUIP breathed, eyes shining brightly. They bit their lip slightly, “You’ve grown since then. You’re much wiser than you were when we started. You don’t have to chain yourself to your old decision. If you need time-”

“No, I don’t need time. Nothing will change that you’re in danger. I'll be honest, I don't know if I’m going to be able to sleep at night knowing all of that, but I know for sure I won't be able to sleep if you’re not in the next room. I can’t live never knowing if you’re alive or not. I'd rather be traumatized and scared here together then never knowing your fate. I want to know when you’re getting your ass kicked and I want to know when you finally kick theirs. Got it?” The SQUIP blinked at him again. To his surprise they let out a content sigh. “What?”

“I like seeing my Michael shine,” they answered sheepishly. The teen blushed.

“I - uh…Well, yeah, you need him right now,” he replied awkwardly.

“I need you both, always.” Michael's face darkened as he fidgeted under the other's watchful gaze.

“Well…I mean, I might as well take advantage of the confidence,” he mumble offhanded, trying to look unaffected by the flattery. Clearing his throat he looked the SQUIP in the eyes, “My mind hasn’t changed, Reese. Not about anything.” Reese stared at him, hope starting to shine in their eyes.

“…Are you sure?” they whispered.

“It’s the only thing I’m sure of,” the teen admitted, “So…Reese?”

“…Yes?”

“Do you wanna go on a date with me?”

…………

A pin drop could be heard as the two were trapped in each other’s gaze. One watched with adoration, the other confidence. In the back of Michael's mind he was surprised which one he represented…they both really have changed. But, even so, his anxiety started raising as he waited for an answer. When Reese finally did he could barely hear their voice.

“Yes.”


	24. I Hang a Left and There's...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, it’s okay! I’m kinda…glad. I wanted to talk to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out so long I had to turn it into two chapters. Not unlike chapters 18 - 20. So this is very much a part 1 to the group conversation. I could have just jumped right into it, but...nah, I like what I did instead :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“I came as soon as I heard!” the girl shouted as she burst through the door. Michael jumped startled, barely stepping back in time for Christine to slip through the front entrance. He let out a breath of relief at the girl before chuckling.

“Christine,” he greeted with a small grin.

“All the way from London?” Christine continued, puffing her chest out dramatically as she struck a pose.

“Damn,” Michael finished, but tensed when he heard Reese’s distant voice echo the same. The girl’s eyes lit up at hearing the SQUIP’s voice and she gasped dramatically.

“He really _does_ like Hamilton!” she gushed. Michael laughed awkwardly as he closed the door behind her.

“I didn’t lie.”

“You could have, but that’s not you,” Christine agreed before looking concerned, “I - uh…I hope it’s okay that I came here before everyone else. I left class ten minutes early, and - uh…I was hoping maybe Chloe brought Ari here. I wanted to make sure she was okay, you know? And maybe figure things out…I thought that’s why you and Rich weren’t at school.”

“I actually was at school, I left at lunch,” Michael clarified, “I…wanted to figure things out too. But, I’m sorry, Ari’s not here.”

“Oh,” the girl sounded, disappointed, before shaking her head, “I’m so sorry! I’ve intruded for no reason now!”

“No, it’s okay! I’m kinda…glad. I wanted to talk to you.”

“Really?” the girl beamed.

“Yeah,” Michael’s lips twitched up into a small smile, “…You’re the only one who might believe me.” Christine’s face fell into sad understand. She looked down at her feet.

“…I know what you’re talking about, Michael. Reese, right?” He nodded. “…I really want to believe you. I was there at the mall - I met them! They were so nice - both of them - to the point where I thought you were wrong about them being…you know, or that maybe they really were nice. But then he hurt Jeremy…and…”

“…How is he?” Michael asked quietly, terrified to hear the answer. Christine sighed.

“How do you think?” The taller looked away, hands clenching into fists in his pocket. He let Jeremy down. He got him hurt. It was his fault for not stopping Reese sooner. It was his fault…Christine took a step forward and placed a hand on his arm. “Michael…are you okay? You can tell me, I wont tell anyone, I promise.”

“Christine,” Michael sighed, “I know that. But I __am__  okay. I’m more than okay and that’s why yesterday was such a fricken disaster.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean: Reese isn’t like that! I know that sounds crazy but it’s true! What you saw at the mall was real, Christine. That’s what they’re like, always. Yesterday was just messed up.”

“But how? How could they act nice every day and then turn cruel like that?” Christine questioned, brows furrowed.

“I don’t know - even Reese doesn’t know. I think it’s Jeremy. Something about him set them off. But Christine, if you saw Reese after everything yesterday you’d know they didn’t mean any of it,” Michael tried explaining.

“What do you mean?” she repeated curiously. He hesitated, glancing in the direction of the dining room where he left the SQUIP. He sighed.

“…If there’s one thing that’s been clear since the beginning it’s that Reese cares about Jeremy. They think the world of him, and after they realized what they did…that destroyed them. They hurt someone they care about without even meaning to. That’s scary,” he answered quietly. Christine thought about it for a moment.

“Michael, I…I want to believe you - I really do. But…” she glanced away guiltily. Michael slowly nodded his head.

“…I get it…I sound crazy, but I’m not. I’m not possessed, I’m not being manipulated, I’m not anything. If you don’t want to believe me that’s fine. Just know I’m not changing my standpoint,” he replied sternly.

“What __is__  your standpoint?” the girl questioned nervously.

“…Reese is staying here. Nothing Jeremy says will change that. It’s safest for them here and I want them to stay. I’m going to keep helping them the best I can and that’s it,” Michael answered. Christine stared at him for a moment before sighing.

“…I can’t change your mind, but I wish I could. I worry about you,” she confessed. The male gave a small smile.

“Don’t. I’m okay, really,” he tried, not knowing what else to do to convince her.

“Are you?” she questioned before sighing, “So much has been going on. You’ve been having fights with Rich, and pushing Jeremy away, and keeping all these secrets…and now the SQUIPs are back, and…” she shook her head. Michael looked down. He didn’t realize how bad it looked. He thought he was doing a good job hiding everything, but apparently not.

“…I’m sorry if I hurt you, or Jeremy, or anyone-”

“No, it’s not that, Michael. We all love you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I am, I promise. Reese isn’t hurting me. In fact they make me happy. I know that sounds crazy but they do,” he confessed. Christine looked more concerned for him than she had in the last twenty-four hours. He sighed, eyes travelling back to look in the direction of the dining room. His head popped up as got an idea. Taking Christine’s arm he guided her towards said room. “Here, I’ll show you.” The girl followed stunned, not questioning him as he took her further into his house. Entering the dining room Reese could be seen patiently waiting at the table. They sat in a proper upright posture in their chair, a natural grace lacing their position that made them appear - for a lack of a better word - perfect. But the room was filled with the tapping of their fingers against the wood of the table, revealing their inner anxiety easily. Their eyes snapped up to the girl when she entered.

“…Christine,” they greeted slowly, trying not to sound nervous. Christine awkwardly waved in response, appearing too shaken to actually speak. Michael let go of her and went to sit beside the SQUIP, letting his comfort be viewed by his friend.

“Do you know how Ari’s doing?” he asked gently. Reese forced their eyes to meet his for a moment before shifting back to the girl. They shook their head.

“No…Brooke’s house is farther than Rich’s and my connection to Ari is significantly weak. Have you heard from them?” they asked Christine curiously. The teen blinked slightly startled at the questioned before quickly shaking her head.

“No, not at all. Chloe just said she was fine and won’t let Brooke tell me more.”

“She should. Ari is your SQUIP, not hers,” Reese replied annoyed.

“Right…” Christine awkwardly sat down across the SQUIP. “Umm…Can I ask…Do you know…Um…why is she…so scared?” The computer tilted their head, brows furrowed as if they didn’t fully understand.

“Ari?”

“Yeah.”

“Why wouldn’t they be?” The girl blinked at them confused, not understanding what they meant, and it was reflected by the SQUIP.

“…Were you?” she asked uncertainly. Reese was quiet for a moment, thinking it over. Michael’s eyes were watching them intently, curious to know the answer as much as he feared it.

“…No. Nervous, maybe, but not scared. There was an irrational part of me that convinced me that Jeremy needed me and would want me back. I suppose Ari is quite different.”

“What do you mean?”

“…I know I made quite an impact on all of your lives if the only part you remember from the play is me. But who do you think was the one to actually die that night?” Christine gasped and Michael’s own breath hitched, eyes wide.

“Wait - no. Ari’s still alive, we saw them. Mountain Dew Red can’t kill you,” the male reasoned, hoping the computer would agree with him. Reese didn’t meet his gaze but kept their eyes trained on the girl.

“Christine, can you still hear them?” they asked gently. Christine paused for a moment, thinking, before shaking her head.

“No…”

“Not at all after the play?”

“…No.”

“Did Jeremy ever tell you that he still heard me?” The girl was quiet for a moment, a sense of understanding coming over her.

“Yes, but…what does that mean?”

“Mountain Dew Red is designed to dissolve SQUIP pills - a fail safe. The rest of us are still connected to our humans because our pills have not been physically dissolved. But Ari’s did. I have to admit I didn’t even fully recognize them as your SQUIP until yesterday. Their signature was still there but it had been altered and far more weak than any other SQUIP I encountered. We had to practically synchronize with each other from scratch,” Reese explained. Christine placed her hands over her heart.

“Did I…hurt them? Are they scared of me?” she asked sadly. The SQUIP hesitated.

“…What you did yesterday changed things. You cared for them and that’s what matters. Ari has gone through a lot with little experience to help them through it. If you’re willing I’m sure together we can help them. They just need some unconditional support,” they answered kindly, their eyes gentle. Christine bit her lip slightly, both at their answer and the way they spoke.

“…Together,” she echoed.

“…Yes. I don’t intend on leaving them, so if it doesn’t bother you too much I’d like to help them as best I can,” Reese continued slowly, nervousness creeping into their voice. Michael glanced at Christine, hoping she could hear it too. He didn’t want the SQUIP to be separated from Ari again, especially since they felt so much guilt over their time apart. But Ari is Christine’s SQUIP, and Christine didn’t trust them…

“Help them how?” the girl pressed, trying to sound reasonable but unable to hide the heavy suspicion from her voice. Reese thought about it for a moment, looking at their own fingers as they tapped the table.

“By being there,” they answered honestly, “To listen, to guide, to _teach_. Show them what I’ve learned as a SQUIP, and as a human. There’s so much for them to see, to learn, and I’d love to know where their interests lie.” Christine was taken aback by the answer, blinking surprised at the sincerity.

“…But not, like…mean stuff, right?” she clarified.

“No, never,” Reese replied firmly before sighing, “I imagine you won’t be easily convinced of that. But if you won’t believe me then maybe this will: even if I was the evil SQUIP you believe me to be, SQUIPs themselves would never harm one another. We have nothing to gain from it. We work together as a unit, that’s why I synced with Ari at the play and didn’t ‘shock’ them into submission like Jeremy. I would never harm them, ever. Does that logic make sense?” Christine tensed when the subject of ‘shock’ came back up but hesitantly nodded. Michael sighed at the subject being brought back up but he honestly didn’t have a better solution. Instead he thought of a change in topic.

“I guess Ari hasn’t seen much of the world, huh? Like TV shows or anything,” he pondered out loud. Reese looked at him.

“Actually, they were locked in a hotel room so they had access to the TV. I’d have to sync with them for a longer period of time to know what they watched or if they found something interesting to share. But other than that they haven’t seen the world. It was Jen who ventured out, forcing Ari to stay behind.”

“Jen?” Christine questioned curiously.

“…Ari’s companion - another SQUIP. We don’t know their location or status right now…They’re the reason Ari is okay,” Reese explained slowly, looking back to the girl. Christine nodded sadly with a small ‘oh’.

“Why’d they lock them up?” Michael questioned confused.

“Jen would be Ari’s senior SQUIP, so I imagine it was a protective gesture. Ari was more injured than them at the time and far less knowledgeable about humans in general. Being only activated for minutes I believe Ari has grown a bit of an attachment issue to others. Nothing too serious, but they did rely a lot on Jen.”

“Poor girl,” Christine lamented, looking down at her entwined hands solemnly. Michael rubbed her arm comfortingly but couldn’t help the feeling of discomfort in his stomach at her words. Poor girl. Girl. It really wasn’t his business, but he’d been hoping Reese would correct her when using the wrong pronouns by now, but they haven’t yet. He knew Christine really cared about those sorts of things - going so far as to ask everyone their preferences so that she said it right - and would feel super embarrassed if no one said anything about it. And if Ari’s scared of Christine, will they correct her? Should it be left up to him and Reese then? Even if it’s not technically their business? He didn’t know what to do, and began noticing himself fidgeting under pressure, so he decided to put his mind at ease. Leaning away from the girl as casually as he could he began shifting towards Reese.

“Hey, should we correct her? On the…girl thing?” he questioned so quietly it was hardly a whisper. Reese glanced at him before giving a small shake of their head.

“I told you, we don’t mind our humans using specific pronouns.”

“What do you mean?” Christine interjected, clearly having heard. Michael blinked surprised at her hearing, but then again there was nothing else to distract her from their voices.

“Michael was concerned about the pronoun you were using for Ari.”

“Why?”

“Because we - as SQUIPs - are non-binary due to our previous occupation. Computers don’t have genders. However we adapt to using gender specific pronouns for our human, so don’t worry about what you’ve been using.” Christine blinked at them surprised before her face flared up in embarrassment.

“Wait! Does that mean she’s a ‘she’ or a ‘they’?!”

“Either one. They don’t mind.”

“You just called her a ‘they’!”

“Of course I did. I call all my SQUIP companions ‘they’,” Reese replied matter-of-factually.

“What about you?” the girl questioned, looking the SQUIP over. They tilted their head.

“Me?”

“What are you? I’m not your human so what do I call you? Do I call you a ‘he’, like Jeremy, or a ‘they’?”

“Oh…I’m not offended if you would like to call me a ‘he’. But I have been going by ‘they’ since I’ve become human,” they answered.

“I call them ‘they’,” Michael backed up. Christine shot up out of her chair, making a ridiculous sound in distress.

“I’m so sorry! I’ve been calling you a ‘he’ all this time when no one else was! I’m so sorry!” she cried. Reese leaned back started but quickly began gesturing for her to calm down.

“It’s alright, Christine. Like I said, I’m not offended. That’s what Jeremy refers to me as, and I’m alright with that.”

“But I want to call you by what you want,” Christine insisted. Reese gave a small smile.

“Alright, then. If it’s important to you, then call me ‘they’. I’m more used to it, and it makes me more comfortable.”

“I will! I promise!”

“Kert’s a ‘they’ too, by the way,” Michael pointed out for reference. Christine smacked her hand against the table, shaking her head.

“Of course! I’m so dumb! I’ll apologize to them with everything I have!” Reese chuckled.

“No need. We both like you a lot, we can’t be upset with you.”

“Huh?” the girl voiced, blinking surprised, “You…like me?” The SQUIP paused, confused.

“Of course we do. You’re a very sweet girl, Christine. There’s a reason Jeremy likes you so much,” they confirmed kindly. Christine blushed slightly at that before giving a small smile.

“Thanks.” Michael smiled at the two, relieved to see the metaphorical bridge being crossed. He didn’t want to lose it, so he scrambled his brain for a change in topic.

“So, now that you’re here, Christine, you can talk all about Hamilton with them,” Michael encouraged. He looked at the surprised computer with a grin, “Tell Christine how many times you’ve watched it.”

“…Four and a half times,” they admitted quietly, a lace of embarrassment in their voice. Christine squealed loudly and clapped her hands together.

“Really?! That many?!”

“…It’s very good.”

“It is! What’s your favourite song?”

“Oh, that’s difficult,” Reese answered, a grin of their own beginning to show, “There’s too many. I think ‘ _Wait For It_ ’ is a good contender.”

“Ooo, good one!” Christine praised, “I love Angelica’s songs! Such a powerful female character! I can totally play her!”

“I’d see that.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, you’d kill it, Christine,” Michael agreed, smiling. Christine put her hands over her chest again, this time in flattery.

“Aww, thank you!” she swooned graciously.

“I’m almost sad to not be able to see it,” Reese admitted, “I think it’d be an inspiring performance.”

“I’ll perform it without a cast! I can do it all on my own! One woman show!” Christine pronounced dramatically.

“Of course,” Michael laughed with a roll of his eyes. He glanced at Reese and they looked back. Things were going good. He was glad. If anyone would be most willing to be swayed it would have been Christine. If only everyone in the group loved Hamilton…that’d make life so much easier. He blinked out of his daze when he heard a startled gasp from the girl.

“Oh my God! I just realized something!” she exclaimed.

“What?”

“I totally said you two were cute together at the mall! And asked if Rich and Kert were dating! I’m so sorry - I didn’t know!” she apologized exasperatedly. Michael froze slightly at the statement before letting out a breath of relief, it wasn’t anything serious. Reese gave a small chuckle.

“It’s funny to look back on now,” they admitted amused.

“Very funny,” Michael replied sarcastically. Reese rested their elbow on the table as they propped their head up with their hand, sending a wide grin towards the teen.

“What? Don’t think we’re cute now?” they teased. Michael blushed and quickly sputtered out a response before Christine could notice.

“Please, Kert and Rich have a better chance at that.”

“I’m hurt, Michael,” the SQUIP said in mock pain, placing their broken hand over their heart.

“Good, otherwise I’d be losing my touch.”

“How dare…To have our cuteness slandered so, I don’t think my minuscule SQUIP heart can take it.”

“The horror.”

“And to be bullied for my feelings by the ‘Riends to my Boyf is heartbreaking!” Michael sputtered loudly as his face turned red. Reese instantly broke character at his reaction and laughed, only making him more flustered and unable to find something to retort with.

“Stupid Tic Tac!” he countered weakly.

“You can do better than that,” Reese challenged, their laughs slowly subsiding.

“Wintergreen.”

“Unoriginal.”

“SQUIPocalypse.”

“ _Too_ original! I like it.”

“Of course you would Floppy Disk,” Michael said with a roll of his eyes, his grin widening. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of playfully bickering with them. But while he was lost in other’s gaze he completely forgot the girl staring at them with wide eyes.

“…Are you dating?” Christine cut in bluntly, narrowing her eyes at the two suspiciously. They both jumped at the girl’s voice startled. Michael’s face turned bright red once again as he tried to sputter out an excuse. Reese looked just as embarrassed but kept their mouth shut as though afraid of saying something they weren’t supposed to.

“No - I mean, we’re…it’s…We’re not _currently_ dating and…and it’s…we’re…” Michael let out an exasperated breath, not knowing what else to say. Christine’s eyes just narrowed more which only worsened his anxiety. He looked at the SQUIP for aid but the computer’s attention was no longer on them.

“Rich’s here,” they excused, standing up and easily dismissing themselves from the conversation.

“Wh - Don’t you fucking run!” Michael cursed as he got up and scrambled after Reese, Christine stumbling to follow. The taller teen’s eyes widened startled when they entered the main hallway, seeing Kert easily letting themselves in through the front door, Rich and Jake right behind them.

“Leaving your door unlocked is highly unsafe,” Kert commented as they promptly locked it behind themselves.

“I didn’t mean to not lock it! I was distracted,” Michael tried as he ran a hand over his face, already getting flustered and annoyed. This was going to be a long day. Rich walked passed his SQUIP towards him, huffing when he made eye contact with Reese.

“Neo.”

“Rich,” the computer replied smoothly, already anticipating his mood. The teen scowled but went over to his friends, a hesitant Jake following over, as he greeted Christine and Michael more cheerily. The later sighed at the behaviour but didn’t say anything. It didn’t seem to be bothering Reese so it was probably best to not force Rich to be nicer until he was ready.

The blue eyed SQUIP wasn’t paying attention to the teens anymore, instead narrowing their eyes at their fellow computer. Kert glanced away awkwardly as they crossed their arms in an almost defensive manner. After a moment of looking the older over, Reese finally spoke, “Why won’t you sync with me?”

“We have other pressing matters to focus on right now,” Kert dismissed, a flash of embarrassment crossing their features.

“What’s wrong?” Reese questioned, though not in concern but more accusatory, “You’ve synced with me only once since you left yesterday and even then kept things close to your chest. What happened?”

“Everything’s fine-”

“Prove it.” Kert sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose tiredly. Slowly they allowed their eyes to glow and Reese followed suit. After a moment passed the two looked at each other in extreme shock.

“You-” Reese cut themselves off, looking the older up and down as though seeing them for the first time. Kert took a step closer so they were standing side by side, dropping their voice.

“ _Michael_?!” they whispered surprised.

“ _Rich_ ,” Reese countered just as shocked, though there was a tone of judgment, “I thought you had more class than that.”

“Wha - You’re seriously _judging_ me?”

“He gave you one kiss and you let him into your pants, really?”

“T-That’s not what happened!”

“Two kisses, my apologizes.”

“You’re kissing the SQUIP killer,” Kert hissed, clearly flustered, “I could point out how twisted that is, but any point I’d make would probably upset you and I’d rather avoid that.”

“You’re being way too nice considering my attitude,” Reese sighed, crossing their arms. They were both quiet for a moment, the chatter between the four teens filling the room. Christine questioned Rich on his knowledge of Michael’s relationship and Rich completely dismissing it as false, believing to be right.

“So, Michael kissed you,” Kert stated quietly, a small grin spreading across their face at Reese’s blush. The blue eyed SQUIP couldn’t hide their smile.

“I still can’t process it,” they admitted, “And…he asked me out.”

“I’m happy for you. I know this is something that’s been plaguing your mind for a long time.” The younger SQUIP glanced away, face falling. Kert tilted their head, concerned. “You’re not still worried about it, are you? He’s made his choice despite all you’ve told him.”

“…I suppose I’m still pessimistic,” Reese answered honestly, “I don’t understand any of it. I’ve tried to process how he could ever think of me that way, but…I don’t understand.”

“And because you don’t understand you’re uncertain of the future,” Kert finished.

“…You’ve been completely objective towards my feelings on Michael, what do you think? Do you think our relationship could have a…favourable outcome?” Reese asked, fully turning to face the older computer. Kert thought about it for a moment, glancing over at said teen.

“In the near future: absolutely. But I can’t say it’ll stay that way forever. We don’t know what our futures will be with all of this, and even more if we’ll survive past it. But I support your relationship,” they answered as best they could. Reese nodded light.

“Thank you.” The conversation didn’t continue as another doorbell was heard.

“That was fast,” Jake commented as Michael started walking over to the door. The teen had to wave Reese away, who was already going for it, before opening it himself.

“Tada!” Chloe’s voice boomed as she gestured to the SQUIP trapped between her and Brooke in the doorway. Ari jumped slightly at the voice beside them before hunching their shoulders up at the attention. Michael blinked surprised at the SQUIP. They looked…better. Much better. Yes, they were still leaning on Brooke for support - which meant their leg wasn’t healed - but there’s no way it could have been in the last twenty-four hours, so that’s no one’s fault. It was funny, the SQUIP almost looked like the missing person to Chloe and Brooke’s trio with how similarly they were dressed. They were wearing a very pretty shirt and sweater that must have belonged to one of the two girls, more resembling Brooke than Chloe. Their hair had been nicely brushed and tucked behind one ear, a cute flower clip added for a finishing touch. The two girls even went so far as to put makeup on the small computer. Of course any injured areas were also perfectly attended to.

“Ari!” Christine chirped as she slipped passed Michael and engulfed her computer in a tight hug. Ari instinctively accepted it, though they looked both stunned and slightly frightened at the action as though it was a trick.

“Christine,” they breathed, appearing at a loss for words.

“See? We took good care of her,” Chloe praised, waltzing passed the two and into the house. She glanced around before giving a small shrug, “Nice house.”

“Thanks,” Michael mumbled as he motioned for Brooke and Jenna - who had been hiding behind the three - to enter. Once they were in he frowned. “Where’s…?” A distinct silence fell over the group at the question asked, Christine pulling back to look at the girls too. Chloe, fidgeting under their gazes, waved dismissively.

“Jerry’s here. He just needed a minute to himself,” she excused as smoothly as she could.

“I’ll get him,” Rich offered as he began rolling up his jacket’s sleeves as though he was going to beat the teen up, storming towards the door.

“Richard,” Kert’s voice cut in, freezing him in place and setting everyone on edge at the authority. Even Michael tensed, but more at the nervousness of everyone’s reactions than the SQUIP themself. Rich looked at his computer annoyed, eyes almost daring them to give him a good reason to stop. Kert kept their gaze firm, “Give him time.” The teen huffed but didn’t attempt to get through the door again. Michael looked at Reese but the SQUIP’s gaze was on the wall. It looked as though they could see Jeremy right through it. To his relief they’re attitude hadn’t changed yet. They still looked like themselves, their expression even sombre. Slowly their eyes shifted to him and they gave a small nod, almost silently giving approval to close the door. With everyone inside he hesitantly did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tune in next week for part 2! And hopefully a small surprise with it :)


	25. What Comes Next?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, we’re all here now,” Chloe pressed, “What’s the plan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a hassle. I had to completely re-write the ending to this chapter. You guys got lucky this time, the original ending was full cliffhanger. Anywho, news! Progress on the second story is underway! The superhero one will have to be temporarily postponess due to there being too many ideas and unable to get a good start. But it'll come. However another one is coming in the meantime! A fun comedy BMC story to make you guys feel better while you read this story. I don't know when it will be ready but very soon (like next week or week after deal).
> 
> FANART: As promised I have drawn Fanart myself! I decided to draw what I think Reese looks like for you all to see. If you guys like it I'll draw more for you guys.
> 
> (just use Dev. Art's website and type the following URL in afterwards):
> 
> /greennanotech/art/Ch-20-The-SQUIP-Enters-766585774
> 
> All Fanart and Fanfictions made by me or orthers for this story, or promoted by this story, will also be linked on my profile so you won't ever lose it! Anyways, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

The group shuffled around awkwardly, the tension in the air growing with each passing minute. The newly arrived girls were taking turns glancing at Reese, both in fear and anger. Jake took the opportunity to shift his way over to his best friend, keeping his hands in his pockets and masking any opinions he may have on the situation, but his eyes did shift to Kert every once and while. Christine, still by her SQUIP’s side, hooked her arm with Ari’s as she comfortingly petted the computer’s arm.

“Did everything go okay?” she questioned gently, smiling at the SQUIP. Ari’s shoulders hunched up, nervously glancing at the other two SQUIPs before the ground.

“Yes,” they answered timidly. Reese stepped up beside the younger computer and - using their height advantage - motioned over their head to Christine to take a step back. The teen hesitantly did, realizing she was scaring Ari.

“I’m glad,” she continued, trying to act casual as she allowed Reese to take over. Ari nodded slightly before leaning into the older SQUIP, the later wrapping an arm around their shoulders in support. Kert began to gravitate towards the two, fully dividing the room into two groups of teens and SQUIPs. It put the students on edge.

“So, we’re all here now,” Chloe pressed, “What’s the plan?” Rich locked eyes with Michael, clearly unsure himself. Michael had the distinct feeling that Kert hasn’t told the shorter yet their backstory. So it’d be up to him to make the calls. He sighed but stepped up to gain everyone’s attention.

“This is how it is…everything we told you yesterday is true. Yes, they are SQUIPs. Yes, there are evil people. Yes, the evil people are looking for them-”

“It’s true,” Brooke reiterated, nodding fiercely, “They were at my house last night!”

“Yeah, it was freaky,” Chloe agreed, “We had to give Ari a drink - like an alcoholic one, but not to make her drunk or anything - but she did pass out and it was insane and-”

“Did you see them” Jake interrupted bewildered, “The evil people?”

“No. We weren’t allowed to look outside cause that would be ‘suspicious’,” Chloe air quoted with a roll of her eyes. Michael shook his head slightly before looking at Ari. Their eyes were trained on the ground, shoulders hunched back up. Reese and Kert’s eyes were both glowing brightly as the later moved closer to the two, concern and sympathy on their faces. He wondered what Ari experience when they woke up. If it was late last night, it might have corresponded with Kert’s experience. Even if it wasn’t, he imagined the younger SQUIP would have been just as freaked out as Reese when Kert woke up, but with less context on why Kert was sending traumatized signals. He felt bad for them.

Michael let out a breath as he tried to regain focus. “Honestly, it doesn’t get much better. This is freaky stuff. And…” he sighed, glancing around, “…I think we need Jeremy. This next part’s important.” Everyone looked at each other awkwardly, and a few sent glares towards Reese who didn’t meet their gaze.

“…I’ll get him,” Christine hesitantly offered, looking from Michael to the SQUIP nervously. Michael gave a small nod and the girl slowly went to the door. She opened it but paused, looking at the two popular teens, “Umm…where did you leave him?” Chloe rolled her eyes but it was Brooke who spoke.

“Beside the car…I think,” she answered hesitantly.

“I’ll come,” Jenna offered, obviously annoyed that the girl was taking so long getting out the door. Christine gave a small ‘okay’ before being ushered out by the other. When they were gone Michael locked eyes with Reese. The SQUIP was keeping up a calm facade for the other teens, but he could see the nervousness and fear in their eyes.

“Better behave, Hal,” Rich warned nearby, crossing his arms and watching the computer dangerously. Kert shot him an unimpressed glare before gently pulling Reese by the arm away from Ari and towards Michael.

“I’ll watch them,” they offered, carefully taking a step away from the group with the new SQUIP. Ari reluctantly followed, looking at Reese longingly but not speaking if they had any concerns. The blue eyed SQUIP took the extra steps to be by Michael’s side, the teen now feeling the tension rolling off of them. He wanted to ease their mind - take their hand - but he couldn’t, not yet. Jeremy would flip out if he walked in the door and saw them holding hands, and Reese hasn’t shown any signs of turning ‘to the dark side’ yet. He needed to wait for right time and that wasn’t now.

They all waited, and soon enough the two girls re-entered the house, Jeremy now in toll. The tallest teen hesitated in the doorway, quickly scanning the room. His eyes froze on the SQUIP, and Michael could see Reese’s body language starting to change as they straightened themselves. Jeremy’s irises than shifted to Michael himself, slight panic reaching his eyes at seeing his best friend being held hostage by the computer and far from his reach. He quickly glanced down, moving to stand beside Rich without a word. Christine hesitantly closed the door behind them.

It was silent.

“Michael,” Chloe addressed, the only one brave enough to speak, though her voice did waver. Michael took one last look at his friend before slowly glancing around at everyone else.

“Well…what I wanted to say is…” he took in a deep breath, “I’m sorry that you all got dragged into this. I know we should have said something before, but…you guys have no idea how fucked up all of this is.”

“No, it’s pretty fucked up,” Chloe countered.

“Even more than you think,” Michael insisted, “Even more than…you know,” he directed the last part to Rich, meeting the shorter’s eyes. Rich blinked surprised, not expecting the attention shift, before looking at Kert confused. The SQUIP locked eyes with their human and let their irises glow, the familiar shade of green appearing in Rich’s eyes as they conveyed information. The smaller teen stayed silent as they listened before glancing back at Michael. Considering there was no shock over his face the taller had to assume Kert just told him they’d tell him later. That’d be best.

“It’s really fucked up, and it’s not over either,” Michael continued, “I don’t know when it will be, so…we’re not asking for help. We’re only asking that you guys keep this a secret - the best secret you ever had! There are literally scary people out there who could be listening, so…the word SQUIP is tabooed. Just don’t use it, __ever__. The only time you can talk about it is when Rich and I say it’s safe. Other than that…forget yesterday ever happened.” It was quiet as everyone processed what he’d just said. Rich just stared at him surprised. Clearly he had no idea that they had no intentions of asking for help. Honestly, Michael might have before…but Reese’s story put everything into perspective.

“Michael,” Christine called, her brows furrowed, “You can’t be serious.”

“I am,” he answered quietly.

“What about Ari?”

“I…” Michael looked from Ari, to Reese, then back to Christine uncertainly, “…I don’t know. We still have to figure that out.”

“No,” Jeremy’s voice cut in, destroying any comment that was about to come from anyone else. Michael felt his heart begin to pound.

“Jeremy-”

“I’m not leaving you with him,” his friend bit out, glaring at Reese. The SQUIP tilted their head with a raised brow.

“You honestly have no idea what you’re walking into, Jeremy. Your stubbornness is only hindering,” they replied, talking slowly at the end as though speaking to a child.

“Reese,” Michael warned under his breath, making eye contact to make sure they heard. The SQUIP let out an annoyed huff but didn’t speak.

“I don’t care. You’re not doing this alone, Michael. Not with my SQUIP,” Jeremy continued firmly, eyes watering as his irises met his best friend’s. Michael felt the air leave his lungs. What he wouldn’t give to be able to say ‘no’ to those eyes. He had to try, he couldn’t put his friend in danger.

“Jeremy, it’s too dangerous.”

“If it’s too dangerous than you shouldn’t be doing it.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Mikey,” Rich cut in, gaining his attention. The smaller’s brows were furrowed, his face very serious, “If…you’re right about this being worse than we thought, then…maybe…”

“No,” Michael shut down firmly, shaking his head, “There is no ‘maybe’ for me. I can’t walk away from this, I can’t. I’m not the person who’d just…leave them all behind,” at the end he looked at Reese, and the later met his eyes. Their blue irises softened, gratitude shining off of them at the meaning behind his words.

“This isn’t your fight,” Jeremy tried again, breaking the moment the two were sharing.

“He’s right, Michael. He’s Jeremy’s SQUIP,” Jenna agreed, “He should be dealing with it.”

“And I’m not walking away. I need make sure Ari’s okay,” Christine added, looking at her SQUIP determined. Ari froze at the attention, but seemed hopeful at her words.

“This is non-negotiable,” Reese cut in, making Michael tense, “You have no say in the matter, Jeremy. This is how it stands: Kert is staying with Rich, I am staying with Michael. If Christine chooses to keep Ari close, that is her choice and she’ll have to accept the rules behind it. Otherwise, the rest of you are either going to help in whatever way we see fit or walk away.”

“I’m not walking away,” Jeremy hissed, though his body was trembling, “I’m not leaving Michael with _you_.”

“Why?” the SQUIP asked mockingly, tilting their head for added effect. Without warning they draped an arm around Michael’s shoulders, “Does it bother you?” The wave of alarm and anger flashed through the room so fast that Michael was sure he was about to meet his untimely end defending the computer’s dumb ass from the oncoming mob.

“Get your hands off our gay boy!” Chloe yelled venomously, starting to storm over but being stopped by Brooke grabbing her arm.

“I’ll bite your fucking hand off if you don’t back off, Neo!” Rich warned, fuming where he stood but not trying to move after Kert took a step between them, not fully blocking his way but close. Michael quickly slipped out of the SQUIP’s hold and put his hands up in defense to ease everyone’s minds…which mostly failed. Deciding to take everything one step at a time, he turned to face Reese.

“You need to calm down,” he commanded quietly.

“I’m __very__  calm,” the SQUIP countered with a smirk.

“You’re acting out.”

“I see, so intimacy is now _banned_. Who’s being influenced now?”

“Don’t be an ass.”

“I made a _harmless_ gesture.”

“You know what?” Michael snatched their hand and held it in a tight grip, silencing the SQUIP instantly, “I’m not dealing with the annoying Terminator. Behave or be quiet, we have a crisis on our hands.” Reese stayed quiet as they watched the teen turn to face his friends, partially hiding their connected hands behind his back.

“Alright, calm down. I can defend myself,” he assured, slight annoyance in his voice.

“Michael,” Rich called alarmed, pointing at the other’s entwined hand, “What are you-”

“If anyone has a problem with it say so now,” Michael dared as he shifted to let their hands be better viewed by the shocked group. “I honestly don’t care what your opinions are. I honestly don’t care if you think I’m possessed, or manipulated, or whatever else you can come up with. But if you wanna say something, now’s the time.”

“Michael,” Kert warned, stepping up beside him with Ari before dropping their voice, “I understand the sentiment but this may not be the best course of action.”

“I can handle this,” he assured, sounding more confident than he felt. His annoyance at the situation was probably fueling him more than anything.

“Michael,” Jeremy voiced hollowly. Michael took in a deep breath, trying to keep his anxiety under control.

“No, we’re not _currently_ dating. We don’t need to be. I never needed to date you, Jeremy, to hold your hand when we were kids. I don’t need to be dating Christine to give her a hug at school. I don’t need to be dating Rich to see him before class or anything else. I’m holding Reese’s hand cause it helps them, and that’s all the matters to me. I’d do the same for anyone else. So if you have a problem with it say so now,” he continued firmly, looking each person in the eyes one at a time to make sure they understood.

“Not ‘ _currently _’__  dating him?” Chloe repeated suspiciously. Michael froze, not expecting anyone to gravitate on that. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to come up with something to say. Should he confess?

“That’s not the point, Chloe!” Christine cut in, taking a step forward, “The point is: we need to calm down!”

“Us?! Are you serious?!” Chloe exclaimed bewildered.

“Reese isn’t an evil SQUIP,” Michael reiterated, “You’re not seeing the real them.”

“Michael,” Jeremy tried, but he looked at a loss of what to say. He tried to get Michael to listen, but anything he said was lost on deaf ears.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I have proof,” Michael reasoned, gaining everyone’s immediate intrigue.

“What proof?” Jenna questioned.

“A witness.”

“Please don’t say Rich,” Chloe deadpanned.

“Yeah, please don’t say Rich,” Rich agreed. Michael rolled his eyes at the other with a sigh.

“Christine,” he named, looking at said teen. Christine straightened surprised, taking a step back when all eyes snapped to her.

“Christine?” Jeremy breathed in disbelief. The girl hunched her shoulders up, glancing around nervously.

“I mean…” she looked at Michael and melted at the desperate look he was giving her. She sighed, “He’s right. I mean, I was like all of you, really! Reese was so nice at the mall and then yesterday they were so awful…but then they were nice again today.”

“They’re being evil today,” Jenna corrected confused.

“No, before! Before Jeremy came in!” Christine defended, looking at her boyfriend apologetically.

“I mean, they weren’t _evil_ , but…” Brooke trailed off.

“They’re being influenced by Jeremy,” Kert interjected to everyone’s shock. Jeremy looked around wildly at the confused and almost accusing eyes around him.

“N-No, I-I’m not-”

“It’s not intentional,” Reese clarified quietly, gaining their human’s - and everyone else’s - surprised eyes. The SQUIP awkwardly glanced away only to meet Michael’s supportive smile, a small squeeze of their hand fully conveying that they were doing  a good job. Kert, not wanting to push the younger computer more, picked up where they left off.

“It’s complicated, but it seems that whenever Jeremy’s in the same room as Reese, Reese’s mind switches to different mindset. To simplify it as best as I can, they’re switching to an ‘earlier save point’.”

“Like a video game!” Rich beamed, earning a few unimpressed looks from those around him at how obvious the analogy was. Kert gave him an amused smile.

“Yes, in the simplest of terms.”

“Cool, but why don’t you do that?” the shorter questioned, tilting his head curiously. Kert blinked.

“I was.”

“No, you’re always you!”

“I’m ‘me’ because of you.”

“…What?” Rich looked confused, and so did everyone else. The SQUIP sighed, brushing their hair out of their face.

“Richard, I too acted no different than the SQUIP you remembered when we first met. It just didn’t seem out of character because I hadn’t developed a personality of my own yet that was different from my SQUIP self. I’ve been with you ever since and have grown as a human being _with_ you. I have no risk of switching back because my programming _knows_ that my new personality is compatible with your needs, and thus I don’t need to go back to my old ways to accommodate you.”

“…So,” Rich sounded, trying to wrap his head around the information, “If I go on vacation without you, you won’t be a dick when I come back?”

“Decent analogy, and yes.”

“Only decent?” the shorter pouted. Michael rolled his eyes but decided to cut in.

“Do you think Reese will get better if Jeremy is around them more?” he questioned curiously, not daring to move his eyes to see whatever expression his best friend was sending him.

“Absolutely. It’ll take time, but I have no doubt their mentality will start to change until there’s no difference,” Kert replied firmly, “But with _extreme_ supervision. Reese was a very ‘ambitious’ SQUIP, we don’t need that to unfold again.” Reese gave a small scoff.

“If I wanted to take over the world, I would have,” they mumbled defiantly before looking over at Jeremy, “And I’d only only include Jeremy as a formality.”

“Alright, enough of that,” Michael dismissed, “What’s the next step?”

“A decision needs to be made,” Kert continued, looking the teens over one by one, “You each need to make one. Are you going to help us, or not? No one is pressuring you one way or another. Secrecy is the only thing that is going to be forced on you either way. That’s it.” It was quiet again as everyone thought over their options. Michael looked over at his friend. Jeremy’s eyes were trained on the ground, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He looked so hurt and conflicted. It was killing Michael to know he was putting his best friend in a bad situation. But he was out of options.

Taking the opportunity, Michael turned to look Reese over. The SQUIP was still in their ‘asshole’ mood, but they were a lot more relaxed then before. He gave their hand another squeeze, and Reese’s lip tugged into a more genuine smile. It was working.

“Just a little longer,” he whispered encouragingly.

“I doubt that,” Reese mumbled, their cocky tone numbing into a more reasonable sound, “I’m sure a fight will break out before the end.”

“Don’t start one.”

“I won’t promise anything.” Michael sighed, shaking his head, but a smirk of his own appeared on his face. He knows their response was a sarcastic comment coming from Reese, not the SQUIP, and that made him smile.

“I’m in,” a voice suddenly cut in. All eyes snapped to Jake as he stepped up beside his best friend, slapping a hand on the shorter’s shoulders in support.

“Are you serious?” Chloe questioned in disbelief.

“‘Course. Rich’s my best friend,” Jake answered matter-of-factually, leaving no room for argument. Rich grinned widely.

“Jakey-D,” he said with a laugh as he gave his best friend a huge hug, “You’re the best!”

“I know,” Jake boasted jokingly as he reciprocated. Michael gave a small smile to the two, but he couldn’t help feeling the void that had been left between Jeremy and him in that moment. He could see in his peripheral that his best friend’s eyes were not on him, and it hurt. They had fallen so far…Trying to distract himself, he looked anywhere but Jeremy. In doing so he noticed that - surprisingly - Kert was watching Rich with an extreme intensity, as though the hug was testing their patience. He didn’t know why they were acting like this was a bad thing, or even thought they had a problem with Jake, but now it was all he could see.

“…Jeremy?” Christine called gently, trying to gain her boyfriend’s attention. Jeremy’s eyes slowly raised from the floor to meet hers. She bit her lip nervously. “I…If you don’t want to help, I understand. I’ll stay with you, okay? We’ll do it together,” she encouraged as she tried to take his hand, but he refused to uncross his arms, “I just…No matter what you choose, I want to still make sure Ari’s okay. But I won’t do more than that if it makes you uncomfortable. Is that alright?” at the end Christine looked at Kert, as though her plan might conflict with theirs. Kert blinked out of their mood to acknowledge her.

“Of course it is,” the SQUIP answered, “We’ll never prevent you from seeing them.” The girl gave a small nod, eyes shifting to Ari for a moment. The SQUIP was watching her intently, glancing at Jeremy every once and a while nervously. Christine let out a small breath before shifting her focus back to Jeremy.

“If Christine doesn’t take care of her SQUIP, who will?” Chloe asked with a raised brow, the questioned directed towards the only ‘sane’ computer. Kert thought about it for a moment, but before they could answer Brooke did.

“We will,” she said. Anyone paying attention blinked at her surprised.

“What?!” Chloe exclaimed. Brooke smiled at her, though she hesitated on continuing.

“She’s really nice, Chlo. She didn’t do anything bad, and we had fun.”

“Of course she’s nice! She doesn’t say or do anything and is an absolute cinnamon roll!” Chloe ranted, “But I don’t wanna die housing her!”

It was silent as the heavy word was echoed in everyone’s mind. Eyes hesitantly shifted to each other, guilt thick in the air. It was cut by a quiet voice. “I don’t want anyone dying for me,” Ari whispered. All eye’s softened at the SQUIP. Reese gently let go of Michael’s hand, and before they could be stopped quickly moved to the young computer’s side. Their eyes glowed brightly as they placed a comforting hand on the shorter’s arm.

“No one will die for anyone,” Reese answered quietly, “Not for us.”

“But that’s what you’re asking for,” Jeremy whispered, gaining his SQUIP’s attention, “You’re asking us to risk our lives for you.”

“We’re not asking anything of you, Jeremy,” the computer replied.

“But you’re asking Michael to,” the teen countered, gesturing to his best friend. Michael raised his hands in defense but was lost on an answer. He couldn’t deny it, but he hadn’t fully thought of the risk to himself in a long time. He’d been so focused on Reese’s fate to think of his own. He didn’t want Reese to die, but it’s been a long time since he thought that he could. As scary and conflicting as it was he knew his answer wasn’t going to change.

“I’m not,” Reese answered quietly, “I’m not forcing him to do anything. I don’t want him get hurt.”

“Don’t act like you care,” Jeremy hissed, body trembling, “Don’t act like you now have a heart. You don’t care about him - you don’t care about anyone! You’ll hurt him to save yourself.”

“That’s not true!” the SQUIP snapped, “I’d rather die!”

“Then die!” The air stilled as soon as the words were said, and Michael felt the air leave his lungs. He could see that Jeremy felt the weight of his own words as he quickly slapped his hand over his mouth as though that would hide his inner turmoil. But his anger wasn’t gone, and he wasn’t done yet. In a quiet growl, Jeremy continued, “I _know_ you’ll hurt him. That’s all you do. You can’t even speak a sentence that isn’t abusive. You spent every day reminding me of how ‘ugly’ I was and that I wasn’t good enough for anything. I’d be better off _killing_ myself than living my life the way I was. You don’t care. You haven’t changed…Don’t act like you care now.” Without another word Jeremy stormed to the door, opened it, and left.

“Jeremy!” Christine called frantically as she raced after him. No one else dared to move as they stared at the open doorway in shock, the gentle breeze from outside waving in. Michael slowly looked at Reese. The SQUIP’s face was blank, but their eyes held all the emotions they did yesterday. Quietly he stepped up beside them, taking their hand in his once more to comfort their mind. Reese didn’t look at him, but they accepted the gesture.

“What do we do?” Rich whispered, eyes shifting to his own computer.

“He needs time,” Kert answered quietly, “But until further notice, we should consider this his answer.”

“Christine,” Ari breathed, looking at the door longingly as though the girl might reappear. Without a word Reese wrapped their arm around the younger’s shoulders and pulled them into a hug. The SQUIP immediately reciprocated, biting their lip to try and hold back the tears rushing their eyes. Kert gently brushed the younger’s hair, letting out a small sigh at the terrible situation.

“Don’t cry, Ari,” Brooke encouraged gently as she took a step towards the SQUIPs.

“Yeah, you got us,” Chloe added as she put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. Ari looked at the two girls, none of their emotions seeming to waver but they nodded their head anyways.

“Thank you,” they whispered.

“So, are you ‘in’, then? Chlo?” Jenna questioned slowly. Chloe nodded her head with a sigh.

“Guess so.”

“Jenna?” Brooke questioned, “Are you?” Jenna snorted.

“This is hella intense,” she commented skeptically.

“I don’t intend to put pressure on you, but I fell obligated to inform you that your SQUIP is also around,” Kert cut in, not sounding guilty at all for bringing up the subject. Jenna’s eyes widened in shock, her phone nearly slipping out of her hands.

“What?!”

“Are you serious? Is ours too?” Chloe questioned alarmed. Kert shook their head.

“As far as we know Jenna’s SQUIP is the only other SQUIP that made it out. They were with Ari until yesterday where both ambushed by the ones hunting us…we don’t know their fate,” they answered, their voice quieting at the end. Jenna looked down, her face torn.

“What about our SQUIPs?” Jake asked, “Do you think they have human bodies too? What if they break free?” The three SQUIPs glanced at each other, and Michael looked away guiltily. He knows their SQUIPs have bodies…and he’s terrified of what could be happening to them right now.

“It’d be a good thing if they were to break free,” Kert replied quietly, “But that’s a topic for another time.”

“But-”

“They’re right,” Michael agreed, cutting off the teen’s voice, “Not now.” Chloe let out an annoyed huffed before reluctantly changing topics.

“So, Jenna, are you in or you out?” she pressed, looking at said girl.

“I’ll think about it,” Jenna answered hesitantly. She looked at the SQUIPs for resistance, but Kert just nodded their head in understanding.

“Then we should all take our leave. Tomorrow’s a school day and we all need to recharge,” the SQUIP advised. Chloe rolled her eyes.

“We’re not _all_ computers.”

“Chloe,” Brooke hushed. The other girl just sighed again before walking up to the smallest computer.

“Alright, let’s go Ari,” she encouraged, waving the other two SQUIP’s away. Reese and Kert slowly stepped back, reluctantly giving room for the popular teen to help support Ari’s weight. Before Ari could fully adjust to the girl, Chloe scooped them up into her arms bridal style, startling the SQUIP.

“Ha! You see? I’m hella strong. I’d like to see those assholes take you from me,” she boasted as she marched towards the door, ignoring the unintelligible noise coming from Ari.

“Chloe! Be careful with her!” Brooke warned alarmed as she raced after her friend.

“I’ll follow,” Kert informed offhanded, assumingly to Reese, as they quickly followed after the girls, eyes glowing brightly as they did. Jake patted Rich on the shoulder when he noticed his friend’s eyes watching after his SQUIP longingly. He then looked at Jenna.

“Wanna lift?” he offered. Jenna glanced at Jake, thinking about it for a moment, before shrugging.

“Sure,” she answered quietly before walking over to the two. Jake nodded before glancing over at Michael. He gave a small, awkward bow of his head in goodbye before motioning for Rich to follow. Rich looked at Reese uncertainly, his upset feelings still not gone as he sighed.

“See yeah tomorrow, Mikey,” he mumbled, giving a small wave. Michael reciprocated as he watched the last three leave. It took him a moment to force his legs to move over to the door to close it, the whole motion feeling laboured. Once it was closed he let out the air he didn’t know he was holding. The teen leaned his forehead against the cool wood, closing his eyes to try and clear all the thoughts running around his head. He let out a startled gasp when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, a head nestling against his shoulder. He turned his head as best he could to try and see the SQUIP’s expression, but Reese had buried their face in his sweater.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently, placing one of his hands over theirs. Reese only shook their head, hugging him tighter. He nodded lightly, deciding it was best to just let them think. He needed it too.

It was strange, Michael didn’t think he’d ever be comfortable letting someone hug him from behind. It always seemed like an action that gave too much power to whoever was behind, as though the person they were holding were at their mercy. He did feel slightly uncomfortable at first, since there was little he could do from his position, but he found himself relaxing into it. Reese had more than proven that he could trust them, and they made no moves to do anything other than hug him. They also didn’t have themselves standing completely up against him, which made the situation a lot less awkward. Reese knew exactly how far was appropriate. He didn’t think he’d ever say it, but, being a SQUIP really was useful.

After a few minutes passed Michael gently untangled himself from the computer’s arms and turned to face them. He could see a few tears running down the SQUIP’s cheeks, ones that Reese took no time in wiping away, as they kept their eyes downcast. Michael hesitantly reached a hand up and brushed their hair out of their face. “It’s gonna be okay,” he encouraged gently. Reese was quiet for a moment, their irises slowly shifting to meet his.

“…I don’t want to lose him,” they whispered brokenly. Michael blinked surprised before letting out a long breath, nodding in understanding.

“I know. Kert’s right, he needs time…and I need to be a better friend,” he answered quietly. Reese shook their head.

“I need to do better.”

“You did. You did so much better.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“Next time it might be.” Michael took their hand in his, “You can do this.” Reese sighed before boldly resting their forehead against his. The teen blushed at the contact but didn’t move away. He was surprised how much the SQUIP liked showing their affection now that they could.

“Thank you, for not hiding us,” they whispered appreciatively. Michael’s blush darkened.

“I told you I wouldn’t.”

“I know, but I still anticipated it. There will always be a part of you that cares what they think, and it could have made things worse.”

“Well, _you_ could have gotten worse. I promised I’d help you and I am. No matter what.” Reese gave a small smile before leaning forward and gently pressing their lips against his. Michael made a small gasp, not expecting the action, but quickly kissed back. It lasted only a second before the SQUIP pulled back.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Can any of you guess what the next chapter will be about? Here's a hint: Friday's coming up ;)


	26. Let's Start Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Friday…the day he and Reese had planned their gaming night…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my plan got slightly messed up. I actually wasn't going to update at all this week because of Canadian Thanksgiving, and was instead going to update the story as a whole to help answer some questions people were having (as well as clear up all my errors). But then guilt hit me when Winder updated 'More Than Survive' despite Thanksgiving and I realized how lazy I was being. (Also, I'm totally starstruck that the first BMC author I read from and still do is up north with me, how crazy is that?) So, I wrote this chapter. And on time! Probably cause it's shorter, but that's okay.
> 
> Some people have been asking similar questions that I think I need to address. This story takes place in the SQUIP squad's final year of High School. So about half a year after the play. I did flub it a bit to make it ambiguous, but that's the truth. Also, at this point the SQUIPs have been living with Michael and Rich for about a month now. A lot keeps happening to them practically every day, which is why Michael is so frustrated every time something happens to Reese. It's a weekly occurance. I wanted to keep this also ambiguous since I don't want their relationships to be defined by time, sort of like Beauty and the Beast, but people are asking so I must deliver.
> 
> Anywho, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Jeremy wasn't talking to him. Michael wasn’t surprised. He agreed his friend needed time to himself and it wasn’t as if the other was doing it in a cruel way, he just stayed silent whenever they were near one another and refused to make eye contact. It hurt, but still he wasn’t surprised. Christine insisted that Jeremy wasn't mad at him and just needed time to think…but he doubted that.

After the first day of awkward tension between the two, and the rest of his friends trying to talk about the SQUIPs but not directly talk about them, he decided to spend lunch for the rest of the week alone at the 7/11. It was only a couple of days, but he honestly needed it. He needed time to himself to think about everything that's been going on, and even plan a little. That – and he had to admit – it gave him the whole lunch period to talk to Reese if he wanted to. Michael didn't necessarily do that, he talked to them so often he really didn't need to, but he'd come to a point where there was no one else he'd rather talk to. Jeremy was ignoring him, Christine was occupied with her boyfriend, Rich was sharing with Jake, and he didn't talk to Chloe, Brooke, or Jenna anyways. With Reese he could at least talk freely and not have to worry about convincing them on anything. He did have a sense of guilt when he noticed he'd rather spend time talking to the SQUIP – practically his whole day – than his friends, but until Jeremy came around and Rich settled down, he didn't really have a choice.

Sooner than he expected the school week ended. It was Friday…the day he and Reese had planned their gaming night…their unspoken official first date. Michael was beyond nervous. This date was going to be a testimony to how their relationship was going to work. They already live together, and Reese isn't allowed outside, so they'll be unintentionally determining how they were going to behave on ‘dates' compared to their everyday routine. Would it be any different? Reese wasn't shying away from being closer to him - holding his hand more, sitting closer, or even snuggling up to him. But other than that they've kept their behaviour the same, which he wasn’t sure if it was natural or if the SQUIP was forcing themselves to act like that.

Michael took in a deep breath as he parked in his driveway. His heart was pounding in his chest. Were they just going to go straight to their date? Would it be later? He didn't know and he was too nervous to ask. Basically the only time he’d brought the date up was to ask if they were still doing it – which was a resounding ‘yes'. The teen rested his forehead against the wheel, taking in a few more deep breaths. He needed to calm down. This was just a date…his first one. No one had ever really like him before - except, apparently, Rich - so he never got a chance to gain any sort of experience. Reese was a SQUIP though, so they probably know more than the average person on what to do. He chuckled under his breath. He was relying on SQUIP knowledge more and more…it made him wonder if he kept changing how far he'd go for Reese. He was already accepting so much, but would he ever have to go farther? Well, no point in thinking of that if he doesn't even know how their first date will go.

Not wanting to delay any further, Michael exited the car. He grabbed his backpack and the bag of snacks he'd gotten at the 7/11 earlier before heading into the house. He closed the front door behind him as quietly as possible, giving himself another minute or two to pull himself together. He had to keep reminding himself to breath as his heart rate continued to increase with every step he made towards the basement. Descending the stairs he was not surprised to find Reese exactly where he thought they'd be: in their chair typing away at their tablet. The teen made a mental note to ask them if they'd discovered anything later.

“Reese,” he called, forcing his voice out of his closed throat. The SQUIP turned in their seat to face him, a bright smile on their lips.

“Michael,” they addressed happily, turning their tablet off to give him their full attention.

“Ready for tonight?” the teen questioned as he dropped his bags beside the counter.

“Of course,” Reese replied firmly, excitement creeping into their voice. Michael smiled, the tension he felt beginning to wash away at the eagerness the other was showing.

“Wanna get to it, or…?”

“I have no other plans, Michael. I am ready when you are.”

“Huh, and here I thought you had a busy schedule. Sure you don't have to push some meetings back or anything?”

“I took the day off faking an illness,” Reese answered smoothly, a huge grin on their face, “I thought ahead.”

“Rebellious,” Michael commented with a small laugh as he walked past the SQUIP to the game console, “Hope you don't get fired.”

“Well, Michael, I have a confession.”

“What?”

“I am the secret owner of SQUIP enterprises and have no boss to fire me.”

“Then why fake an illness?”

“Don't want my underlings to think I'm being lazy.”

“Surprised you didn't call them slaves,” Michael countered, handing one controller to the computer. Reese rolled their eyes.

“World dominance joke or social commentary on SQUIPs?”

“World dominance…but now you’re making me think of dark shit,” the teen lamented with a frown.

“I apologize. Let’s go with world domination,” the SQUIP cleared their throat, “If I took over the world I wouldn't _have_  slaves. I'd have goons.” The teen gave a flat look as he sat down.

“Goons, really?”

“Do you like ruffians better?”

“No, that's terrible.”

“Servants it is.” Michael snorted, shaking his head lightly as he began pressing buttons on the remote to set the TV up.

“Weirdo.”

“I believe you mean: ‘Oh Dark Overlord, how did I ever get to be in your evil presence and be blessed with your SQUIP ways?’” Reese corrected dramatically, earning a small laugh from the boy.

“You know, if Christine ever found out how good you are at improv she’d suck you in for life,” Michael warned with a teasing grin. Reese shrugged.

“Theatrics? I think I could do that as a career,” they replied nonchalantly.

“Yeah? Is that what you’d do if you were…if you weren’t stuck in my basement?”

“It’d be something fun to try out,” the SQUIP answered honestly, looking up at the ceiling distantly. Michael watched them for a moment, debating how serious they wanted their response to be. In the end he shrugged.

“I’d come watch you.”

“Would you?” their voice sounded hopeful, surprising the teen with their sincerity.

“Course I would. I gotta be that guy in the crowd who cheers too loud during your bow to embarrass you,” Michael answered with a grin. Reese laughed.

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

“Want me to yell ‘that’s my boyfriend!’ too?”

“Only if you fully intend to keep me that long, otherwise that’d be awkward.” The teen laughed awkwardly, unsure if it was meant to be a funny aside or a serious statement.

“Well, let’s start with date one,” he diverted, turning his attention to the ready TV, “And on a serious note: don’t be so pessimistic.”

“Can’t promise anything,” the SQUIP chirped as they started the game from their last save point before the teen could protest.

Playing _Apocalypse of the Damned_  with Reese was a whole other experience than playing with Jeremy. They weren’t excitedly loud like his best friend was, nor did they ever try switching controllers with him. Instead of shouting warnings - like Michael did - they instead made _many_  sarcastic comments.

“Oh no, a zombie has glitched into the wall. Poor thing, whatever shall I do? Oops, I dropped a bomb. Guess I have no choice but to walk away now.”

“Please excuse the axe to your face, you were blocking my view.”

“Oh look, Michael, we should just live here! Look, there’s a bloody corner over there, a broken toilet over there, a zombie head over here. It’s all our requirements! And you wanted a Real Estate agent.”

“So many pitiful children. Don’t worry, I have enough dynamite for all of you. One for each corpse. Here you go. No, no, don’t thank me. I’m feeling very gracious today. No, it’s okay, don’t thank me. I do this out of the goodness in my heart.”

“Hmm? Oh, look Michael, you can see them through the window! Hello infected! You want to come in? Okay, I’ll open the door.”

That last comment had Michael cursing at the SQUIP for actually opening the door. The computer seemed to have the overwhelming urge to destroy everything rather than trying to survive.

“The only way we can live safely in this world is to destroy all zombies, Michael,” they had said, “Then all the remaining humans would have to praise us as Gods and give us all their money.” It was sort of hilarious how into the game they got. He wondered if Kert had to listen to this the entire time they played or if he was bringing out another side to the SQUIP. Either way it was like listening to a podcast and it was hilarious. If Rich were here too it’d be recording worthy. Maybe he should set that up.

They got through the levels slower than he had intended. Even though he knew how to get through it all, and so did Reese, the SQUIP continued to slow things down by trying to kill all the zombies. But, eventually, they caught up to level 10. By this point they’d already ordered - and finished - their dinner, now starting to make a dent into their snacks. Reese made an exception and ate more unhealthily that day since it was a ‘special’ occasion, and he could tell they were enjoying every second of it. They particularly loved the sour candies. Michael couldn’t have been more happier, especially when he finally got to see the end of the game. He didn’t know it finished after level 10, which ticked his annoyance that he didn’t finish it sooner. But still, it was a sweet, sweet reward. One of his long time goals was now complete and he’d have to pick a new one. Luckily he owned many games, all Reese hasn’t tried yet. He was curious now more than ever to hear what sort of comments the computer had for them. But tonight he stopped at the end of this one.

“That was awesome,” Michael sighed happily as he turned off the game.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Reese smiled, passing their controller off to the teen.

“I don’t think I need to ask you if you liked it,” the shorter laughed. The SQUIP chuckled.

“I suppose I was quite vocal.”

“I felt like I was listening to a secret commentary mode.”

“I apologize.”

“Nah, don’t. It was funny.”

“Well, as along as it didn’t ruin the mood.”

“Nope, you’re good.” Michael plopped himself back down in his seat. Grabbing his phone from his pocket he checked the time, “Well, we successfully stayed up till two. So, if you’re tired we can call it a night, or if you’re still awake we can watch something.”

“Hamilton?” Reese questioned, half-jokingly and half-hopeful. The teen laughed before slowly glancing away in thought.

“We could…or…”

“Or?” the SQUIP echoed confused, tilting their head to the side. Michael scratched his cheek nervously, glancing at the computer indecisively.

“…I just thought of a movie idea…”

“Oh, alright.”

“…And if you don’t want to watch it, we don’t have to. We’ll plug Hamilton in and that’ll be it. Just say the word.”

“…Alright, now I’m frightened. What movie?” The teen was quiet for a moment, biting the inside of his lip anxiously. He sighed.

“…Do you wanna watch…Alien?” Reese stared at him, a mix of feelings passing over their face. Confusion, realization, indecisiveness, anxiousness, curiosity…it was quite diverse. Michael felt bad even suggesting it, but he thought that, maybe, the computer might enjoy watching a movie from their past. Reese let out a breath as they finally blinked.

“…Alright,” they slowly agreed.

“If you don’t want to, just say so,” Michael insisted, not wanting to make them uncomfortable. The SQUIP shook their head.

“No, I _do_  want to see it. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now…I’m just concerned what it might bring up,” they answered honestly.

“…What do you mean?” the teen questioned nervously, “Memories?”

“It’s probably an irrational fear. I doubt anything more than previous emotions to the film will return,” Reese clarified. Michael was quiet for a moment. Slowly he reached out and took their hand, surprising the SQUIP.

“Hey, if it bothers you at any point I’ll turn it off so fast you’ll think I never turned it on,” he promised confidently. Reese chuckled.

“I appreciate the gesture.” With a small not of confirmation towards the TV, the teen stood and got his computer. The two barely exchanged words as he took his time renting the movie and setting everything up, including turning off the lights for added effect. Finding his way back to his chair, Michael barely sat down before Reese cuddled up against him, resting their head on his shoulder as they watched the TV expectantly. The teen let out a breath, shaking his head lightly as he grinned at the other’s behaviour. Without any more delay he started the movie.

The film went a bit differently than the game did. Reese was mostly quiet but took the opportunity to make small comments when the moment called for it. Mostly they cursed if there was a jump scare, or if the movie got intense enough for them to have to break the silence. What got the teen’s attention, though, was that Reese __was__  starting to remember things. Or rather, they’d make small comments sounding like they did.

“Wait for it…”

“I hate this part.”

“Give it ten seconds.”

“This is why he’s going to die.”

He wasn’t sure if the SQUIP even realized they were making off-handed remarks, but he found his hearing narrowing in on what they’re saying every time they made one. But, he had to admit, it was hard for him to concentrate on their comments when he himself has never seen the movie before. The story ate him up so fast he had to remind himself to pay attention to Reese.

Slowly throughout the film Michael found himself cuddling closer to the SQUIP, probably due to the intense atmosphere, and was even gripping onto their sleeve for support. It wasn’t until the movie was over that he released his hold and relaxed.

“Well, _that_  was something,” he commented with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“I liked it,” Reese chirped, sounding genuinely happy. Michael smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I liked it a _lot_. From what little movies I’ve seen I think this one’s taken first place,” the SQUIP confirmed. The teen chuckled.

“Well, I can’t wait to sit you and Kert down for _Alien vs Predator_  then,” he joked.

“Only if you’re willing to hear us logically argue our sides since I’m sure one of us - if not both - will be very disappointed with the ending.”

“Or you could just laugh together at the bad movie.”

“No. One of us has to win, Michael. There is no other way.”

“Than I hope Ari wins.”

“Once I show them this movie they will side with me and then, yes, I agree. They should win.”

“Because you would win.”

“Exactly.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Michael laughed. Reese chuckled.

“I’m ‘ambitious’, as Kert puts it. Or maybe competitive.”

“You’re crazy,” the teen corrected, smiling when the SQUIP let out another small laugh. He’ll never forget the first time he heard the genuine sound come from them, and he’ll always relish in the fact that he’s the one who’s been able to make them laugh for real. He wants them to be happy. Michael’s eyes shifted to his hand when he noticed he was stroking their hair. He didn’t know when he started doing it, whether it was during the movie or after. Reese didn’t seem to notice, or if they did they didn’t acknowledge it. He was glad, he didn’t want to stop because he got too embarrassed. The teen bit his lip slightly as he looked up at the ceiling, debating if he should say something. They were in a sort of comfortable silence, but it also held the expectation of one of them speaking at one point or another. He decided to bite the bullet.

“Did you enjoy tonight?” he asked nervously. Reese’s brilliant blue eyes moved to meet his.

“Of course I did,” they stated firmly, “Did I not give that impression?”

“You did, but…I don’t know. It’s just the first date and all…I don’t know what I’m doing, or what we’re supposed to do,” Michael answered honestly. Reese hummed.

“We’re allowed to do whatever we want, Michael, it’s our lives. Besides, I don’t think we can follow the general ‘rules’ for dating. We already live together,” they pointed out.

“I guess so…” When Michael’s anxiousness didn’t leave the SQUIP propped themselves up on their elbow to better meet his averted eyes.

“Michael,” they called gently, finally pulling the teen’s gaze to themselves, “Don’t be nervous. I don’t expect anything from you. Other than a smile, and maybe an endearing comment.” Michael couldn’t hold his chuckle.

“I can do that,” he mumbled with a small smile.

“Good. Leave the rest behind, we don’t need it,” Reese waved their hand in emphasis, “Never did.”

“So, all you want is an endearing comment?” Michael clarified.

“And a smile.”

“I’m sure you’ve gotten that already.”

“I’m getting one now.” The teen’s grin widened, looking away with an embarrassed blush at being pointed out.

“Don’t fluster me.”

“That’s no fun.”

“You can only do it if I’m allowed to fluster you.”

“You can try, but you’ve been barely successful so far.”

“Well,” Michael thought about it for a moment, “An endearing comment…Does it have to be a comment?” Reese blinked.

“That’s usually how it works. What else did you have in mind?” The teen answered by leaning his head down to press his lips against theirs. The SQUIP made a startled sound, barely registering the kiss before Michael pulled back with a huge grin.

“There - flustered. We’re even,” he chuckled as the computer’s flushed face was highlighted by the light of the TV. They let out a small laugh.

“My, my. You’re becoming more bold and confident, Michael. You keep surprising me,” they commented with a smile, their eyes filled with adoration. Michael’s blush darkened as he gave a small shrug.

“You make it easy,” he answered honestly, his voice quiet as he glanced away, “I never…had to hide with you.”

“I never wanted you to,” Reese replied, brushing their fingers lightly through his hair. The teen leaned into the touch. Their eyes met in a locked stare, no discomfort between them as they just simply looked at one another. After a minute passed Michael lightly shook his head.

“I don’t…I can’t even imagine a world where I hate you anymore,” he whispered, “It’s like…what happened before was a different world…and here’s some dream land or something where everything doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“Don’t be fooled, this world will be its own roller coaster,” the SQUIP sighed, “The only thing I can ask for is that no matter how low the ride dips, that you never feel like you did before again.” Michael was quiet, eyes shifting lightly as he tried to keep them from watering. He took in a shuttered breath.

“I just don’t want you to go,” he whispered solemnly, “I don’t want them near you. They’ve hurt you so much you can’t even remember what they did. I swear I’ll kick their ass if they even so much as touch you again.” Reese gave a small chuckle.

“Will you?”

“Even if they breathe near you.”

“My hero,” they teased. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Can’t just be Jeremy’s hero, now can I?” he retorted, “I got a ‘Riends of my own to protect.”

“And I have another human to care for,” Reese added, leaning their forehead to rest against his. The teen blush returned.

“We need to plan.”

“We will.”

“Soon.”

“Not tonight. Tonight’s ours, and I won’t share it with anyone.” Without another word Reese leaned forward and kissed Michael, more deeply than before. For the first time since their second kiss they let themselves hold the connection, allowing the teen time to reciprocate and for them to fully share the moment. Michael kept his fingers tangled in the SQUIP’s hair as he pulled them lightly closer, making a small sound at the way Reese moved their mouth against his. All too soon the SQUIP pulled back, hovering close as they both regained some air. The computer smiled at him as they traced their fingers over his jawline before gently pushing back his hair.

“Do you mind if I stay here with you tonight?” they gently whispered.

“You always nap here,” Michael pointed out, his voice barely sounding as he took their hand from his face and lightly playing with it in his own, “You really don’t have to ask.”

“Well, I was fully intending on borrowing your shoulder for the night, so I believe that calls for permission,” Reese retorted, entwining their fingers. The teen gave a small snort.

“Are you asking to sleep on me?”

“ _With_  you.”

“…I have no idea if that’s supposed sound innocent or not.”

“I’d be more direct if I was asking for something more lewd like sex, Michael.” Michael made an unintelligible noise, his face flushing red.

“Did you seriously have to say it like that?!” he questioned flustered. Reese laughed.

“Like I said, I’d be more direct,” they repeated. Michael huffed embarrassed, at a loss now of how to even respond.

“Yes, you can sleep with me,” he answered weakly, his face darkening at the awkward phrasing. The SQUIP snickered as they settled back in their place beside him, resting their head on his shoulder once more.

“You’re too easy, Michael.”

“Asshole,” the shorter sighed as they reached over and grabbed the folded up blanket near him. With the computer’s help he wrapped it nicely around the two of them. “So,” he sighed when that was finished, “…Wanna fall asleep to Aliens?” Reese grinned.

“You read my mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wonder how long it'll take for the mobs to start coming after me for how much I tease with the kisses. Haha, anyways, their first date! I hope it lived up to expectations, I know you guys had some. We'll be getting back into fray in the next chapter, but for now enjoy the nice moment :)


	27. We Need to Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We've always been friends - best friends.”  
> “It doesn't feel that way anymore, and there's only so much we can blame on the SQUIPs. We should be best friends always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I had some news to share and I can't remember for the life of me what it was. I was so sick last week, even when I wrote the last chapter, that everything's a blur. I'm well now, but my memories are tampered. Well, if anyone wants a fun fact, my story is in the top ten percent of BMC storys on Ao3, so that's cool. Probably would help if it wasn't such an obscure couple, but I knew what I was getting into when I started writing it. So...there's my weak news for the week.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“Jeremy!” The teen let out a long sigh when he heard his father's voice calling from downstairs. Peace and quiet was certainly something he wasn’t going to get today. Jeremy let his hands run down his face with a small groan, resting his elbows against the desk in front of him. He had shut himself in his room on purpose to try anddistract himself from the stressful week he’s had, and his unfinished algebra homework sitting beside him, but that was apparently failing on all sides. His homework wasn’t going to get done at this rate, math only reminded him of…

“ _I’m a super computer Jeremy, I’m ** **made****  of math!_”

The news about the SQUIP’s return had been eating at him all week. He tried his best to sort out his thoughts, to figure out what to do…but in truth he _didn’t_  know what to do. He couldn’t talk Michael out of whatever delusion his best friend was under, he already tried. He could try drinking Mountain Dew Red, but knowing Christine’s SQUIP survived - no, not just her, __all__  of them - what was the point? He had considered setting up a meeting to talk to his SQUIP one on one…maybe try to get them to confess their true motives, or convince them to come back with him so that Michael could be free…but Christine got scared at that idea. After all, the SQUIP had no qualms in hurting him, it never had. How could Michael think they were different? He didn’t know what they were like before. Could Michael really think that the SQUIP’s abusive nature was _good_? Had Jeremy really been that bad of a friend that the _SQUIP_  seemed better? Or was Rich’s SQUIP telling the truth when they said it was his fault his SQUIP was acting ‘weird’. He didn’t want to believe that…His SQUIP was smart, and the most manipulative thing he’s ever met. It could fake it if it wanted to. He could see that smug smirk in his mind even now.

“ _Repeat after me._ ”

The teen shivered at the memory. His SQUIP was a dick and no one could ever convince him otherwise. They were always a dick…always…always…

“ _Goodnight, Slugger. You got a big day tomorrow._ ”

“Jeremy?” Jeremy stirred, blinking out of his daze and looking towards his door. He forgot to respond to his dad.

“Yeah?” he called, a crack in his voice.

“Michael's here! I sent him up!” The teen’s body tensed in shock as he spun around to face the door. All he could do was sputter hopelessly on his words as he tried to think of what to shout back. He didn’t get a chance because the door opened before he could, the familiar face of his best friend appearing. Michael paused in the doorway, looking at the other nervously as though he wasn’t sure how his friend would react.

“Hey, Jeremy,” he greeted slowly, trying to sound pleasant. Jeremy swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat.

“Hey,” he croaked awkwardly. Michael hesitated before entering the room fully, closing the door behind him. It was quiet.

“…I'm sorry,” the shorter slowly apologized. Jeremy opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead his eyes wavered and fell to the ground. When he didn't speak Michael continued, “I fucked up…I should have told you the moment I found the SQUIP. I was scared that they would hurt you.”

“He could have hurt _you_ ,” Jeremy countered, his voice laced in frustration.

“I could take ‘em,” Michael retorted confidently, crossing his arms, “I'd kick anyone's ass who'd try to hurt you.”

“Michael,” his friend could only shake his head, knowing anything he said would be ignored. Michael sighed.

“…I know what I walked into, Jer. I know what they're capable of. I didn't let my guard down, not until they let down theirs. I was careful. I called them every minute I was at school to make sure they weren't doing something behind my back. But I was scared to tell you because I _knew_  you'd try to take them away…and I didn't want to be invisible again.” Jeremy's wide eyes snapped to his friend, heart frozen in his chest.

“…You think I'd…” he couldn't even finish his sentence, his body trembling at the implication.

“I think you would have tried to keep me out of it again,” Michael clarified quietly, “…And I'm not going to act like I'm not afraid of…of being _nerve blocked_  again. Intentionally or not.”

“I would never-" Jeremy shook his head violently as he stood, “Michael, I wouldn't! I'd never do that again!”

“Never say never,” the shorter mumbled, eyes falling to the floor. Jeremy couldn’t control the shaking of his body as his eyes narrowed upset at his best friend.

“You say that the SQUIP is ‘good' but you're acting no differently than I did!”

“Ouch,” Michael growled, “I guess I'm the shittiest friend in  the world then.” Jeremy flinched at his words. The taller crossed his arms defensively against his chest, turning so that he was only half facing the other.

“No…I am,” he shook his head lightly, “They're still around because of me - because I…This is their fault, Michael. They turned us into this.”

“No, they just put a flame under our butts. They're not blameless, but this is on us too,” Michael retorted with a sigh. Jeremy didn’t answer. The shorter looked at his friend, sadness in his eyes, “Can we…Can we be friends again?”

“We've always been friends,” Jeremy countered quietly, “Best friends.”

“It doesn't feel that way anymore, and there's only so much we can blame on the SQUIPs,” Michael pointed out solemnly, “We should be best friends always, and…and not be scared of losing each other. You know, no matter what Rich does Jake never falters. I know it’s different, but…”

“…I want that,” Jeremy admitted quietly, “We _were_  that…”

“Then help me, please,” Michael begged as he stepped up to his friend. The taller's eyes shifted uncertainly to him.

“I don't know how to help you.”

“I need you to help me destroy the SQUIP people.”

“What?” Michael could have laughed at the genuinely confused expression that flooded Jeremy’s face. It was hilarious, but he needed to keep serious.

“The evil SQUIP people, we need to stop them,” he clarified.

“How?”

“I don't know, I'm leaving that up to Reese.”

“…That's his name?” Michael blinked surprised at the question. He was sure he said their name to Jeremy before…Jeremy looked away, clearly uncomfortable, “I heard you use it before, but…I was too distracted to ask about it…”

“…Yeah, that's their name. I – uh…I named them,” the shorter confessed slowly, “It sounded like Reeves, you know?” Jeremy gave a small snort.

“Funny.”

“Rich thought it was. It sounds like the peanut butter cup.”

“It does!” The two boys chuckled together. Michael let a small smile grace his lips. Being able to laugh with his best friend alleviated some of the tension in the room, and he was grateful for that. He was also happy to see Jeremy smile, even if it was just for a moment. When their laughs subsided Jeremy gave him a sad smile. “I don't know what to say…”

“Say you'll be my best friend no matter what.”

“I am - I will!” the taller then sighed, glancing away, “…But I still don’t understand…how could he not be evil anymore?”

“Human development,” Michael replied, lacing his words with dramatic exaggeration. It earned another snort form his friend.

“Sure.”

“It's true. Believe me, Jeremy, I was their _last_  fan. I **hated** them, and I never let them forget it. Fucker kept trying to pull SQUIP shit on me all the time. Dropping pans to wake me up…idiot,” Michael mumbled the last part to himself with a small shake of his head. Jeremy tilted his head with a curious look.

“What?”

“There was this time I didn't set my alarm on my phone, so they dropped a pan by ‘accident’ to wake me up and – you know what? It was stupid. Point is: I hated them.”

“Then what changed? Just…being human? That's not…” The taller looked more confused than ever. Michael let out a long breath, running a hand through his hair as he thought.

“…I wish I knew when…the moment everything changed…but I can't.  It was so _gradual_. Maybe…Maybe it was the stars. Do you remember that? The stars?”

“Stars?” Jeremy echoed with furrowed brows.

“Yeah, Reese said you looked at stars together.”

“What…Oh, yeah! That one time. I forgot about that,” he mused distantly. Michael blinked.

“It was just once?”

“Yeah, we were waiting for someone…Brooke maybe, or…I dunno, but we were outside and it was night, so I started pointing at the stars and they told me their names. It was nice…they remember that?”

“…One of their fondest memories, I think,” the shorter answered honestly, his voice quieting as he thought it over. He was amazed that something so small, such a tiny memory in Jeremy’s mind meant the world to Reese. Then again, their time with Jeremy was the only memories they really had, so anything small in Jeremy’s eighteen years would seem huge to Reese’s few months as a SQUIP. Makes sense how they can get attached so easily. He’d have to make sure to give them more memories to cherish. Shaking his head slightly to remind himself he was in the middle of a conversation, he continued, “They took me stargazing once. It wasn't really for me, they were having a breakdown from the alcohol – which is a long story we don’t need to get into. But…yeah. They like looking at stars. They also like sweaters, cause it's comfier to nap in. They also like crime shows and fighting with Kert over who's right. They hate tapioca cause they think I tried to choke them with it, and they really like Hamilton…possibly theatre in general.”

“Hamilton? Don't tell Christine that,” Jeremy advised wearily. Michael let out an awkward laugh.

“She was the one who suggested it to them.”

“No.”

“Yeah.” The taller shook his head with an amused smile as he slumped onto his bed.

“…Did he ever tell you that he looked like an anime villain during the play?” he asked suddenly. Michael blinked as he tried to process the image in his head.

“What?”

“He totally dressed up like an anime villain - with an evil trench coat and everything!”

“No way!”

“Yeah way! He dressed up for Halloween too!”

“Are you serious?” Michael laughed, “As what?”

“Neo!”

“Oh man, wait till I rub that in their face,” he snickered. Jeremy grinned as he patted the spot on the bed beside him. The shorter graciously sat down.

“…I want to help you, Michael,” Jeremy admitted sincerely, “I just…I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“Like I said, I could take ‘em,” Michael retorted with a small grin, playfully bumping his shoulder against his friends to ease their mind. “But it'd be cool to have my Player Two.”

“Player One,” Jeremy corrected with a smirk. Michael rolled his eyes as his grin widened. It quickly fell as his voice turned serious.

“But it _is_ really dangerous. I don't want to involve anyone in this, not the real part of it. Help out Ari, sure, but not the evil people part. But…if I could be selfish, I’d want your help in it, even if it _is_ dangerous. That's why I'm came over here, I…I need my best friend.” Jeremy pressed his lips together in thought.

“No more hiding?”

“No.”

“And you’ll tell me everything? No secrets?”

“None.” The teen hesitantly nodded.

“Okay, Player Two. I’m in.”

~oOo~

“And then we fell asleep. I actually wanted to watch _Aliens_ ,so I waited until the credits were rolling to call it a night. Michael fell asleep before I could even make my first comment,” Reese retold, their voice lost in the nostalgia of their story. They sighed amused as they leaned heavily against counter in Michael’s basement, their head propped up by their hand as they ignored the tablet before them. Kert, standing across from them, glanced up from the papers they had spread out across the counter to raise a brow at the younger.

“…That’s it?” they questioned, twirling the ruler in their hand across the paper they were drawing on, pausing it for only a second - twitching their fingers to make it straight - before marking the spot with their pencil. Reese rolled their eyes.

“ _ _Yes__ , that's it,” they huffed, “I'm not you.”

“Ouch.” Kert’s glare turned to Ari when they heard the younger snicker. Ari, watching the two older SQUIPs intently, sipped lightly from the straw in their Mountain Dew as they sat on the dining room chair Reese had brought down for them beside the counter. The green eyed SQUIP huffed, displeased with the obvious gang up. “Don't laugh.”

“Please laugh,” Reese encouraged with a grin, “Two against one, finally.”

“Please, we both know who'd win in a fight if it came down to it.”

“Me.”

“Kert,” Ari named. The youngest SQUIP paused when Reese turned their surprised eyes towards them. “…Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re right,” Kert agreed with a smug grin.

“Ari, you're supposed to agree with me even when I'm wrong,” Reese complained with a small pout. Ari frowned.

“That that doesn't seem right.”

“Reese, stop acting like a child.”

“I'm not acting like a child.”

“Yes, you are.”

“ _No_ , I’m not-”

“Did you enjoy your date?” the youngest cut in, looking at the older expectantly. Reese blinked at them at the sudden change in topic, but accept it. They smiled.

“Yeah, I did. I don't think I've ever been happier,” they answered gently. Ari gave a small nod, eyes distant as though they were fully soaking in the other's words.

“I'm glad he makes you happy, but a date is no excuse to skip out on a therapy session,” Kert chastised, pointing their pencil accusingly at the other. Reese sighed with a roll of their eyes. They haven’t told Michael yet, but after the day Jeremy walked out they have been having therapy sessions with Kert. It was just an hour in the day to go through things - how they were feeling, what they were starting to remember, any fears they had, anything and everything. Having been so excited and happy for their date they didn't feel the need to talk about depressing matters beforehand.

“We had one the day before. There's no need to do it every day,” they countered.

“You have a lot going on, Reese. I don't want you getting cornered in your mind,” Kert retorted with concern. The younger sighed but didn’t argue.

“And when are we starting your sessions?” they questioned, letting their mind touch the olders to convey that their question was genuine. Kert froze, gripping the ruler in their hand tightly.

“…I’m dealing with my issues with Richard,” they dismissed before going back to their drawings as if they never stopped

“And I have Michael. That's not a good enough excuse,” Reese retorted.

“I'm getting better.”

“That was better?” Ari questioned in disbelief, thinking back to their first night with alcohol and Kert’s breakdown. The blue eyed SQUIP sighed.

“Yes, it technically was,” they relented, opening their mind to the younger to let them see the memory of the first time Kert took alcohol. Ari shuttered.

“I agree with Reese, you need help.”

“I'm not a priority right now,” Kert argued, “If I get worse then…then we'll talk.”

“Promise?” Reese pressed. The older sighed.

“Promise.”

“Fine, I’ll concede,” the blue eyed SQUIP turned to the youngest, “Do you want sessions, Ari?” Ari blinked, frowning as they thought about it.

“…That would be wise, right? You could instruct me on my feelings if we did.”

“I could,” Reese agreed with an encouraging smile, “And we could keep in better contact on how Brooke is treating you.”

“She's been kind to me all week,” Ari informed, “She’s been leaving me to myself.”

“But do you _want_  to be left alone?” Kert questioned, looking at them intently. Ari was quiet, eyes downcast.

“…No, but…what else can I do?” Reese sighed.

“Socialize, but I’d understand if you didn’t. Hopefully we can send you with Christine sooner than later.”

“I agree,” Kert reiterated, “But that depends on how Michael does with Jeremy. Christine is being very generous towards her boyfriend’s feelings.” Reese hummed lightly, face falling into deep thought. Boyfriend…

“Ari?” they called quietly, gaining the younger's attention. Without making eye contact they continued, “Do you think Christine is…happy with Jeremy?” Ari blinked surprised at the question before letting their brows furrow in thought.

“I…don't know. I'm not connected to her anymore…”

“From observation.”

“Wouldn't Kert be more useful to ask in that case?”

“You're Christine's SQUIP, you know her body language well. Even if you're not sure, I'd like to know your opinion. I've learned that as humans we’re allowed to discuss information without having the need for it be ‘useful' or even highly accurate. We can just talk.” Ari bit on their straw lightly as they thought it over.

“…I think she's happy. She was standing by his side even when she wanted to be with us - that's love, isn't it?”

“It could go either way,” Kert replied, fiddling with their pencil, “It could mean that she's either doing it out of obligation, or even fear of leaving him during a crucial moment in his life, or, yes, she’s doing it out of support and care for her significant other.”

“‘Significant other' is a strong term to be using for teenage love,” Reese pointed out.

“Look in the mirror, Reese.”

“…Point taken.”

**RING-**

The phone was in Reese's hand so fast Ari jump startled in their chair.

“Michael,” the SQUIP greeted cheerfully.

“ _Floppy disk._ ”

“Aren't we passed such names?”

“ _Nope, never. How are things going? Play date going well?_ ”

“Loads of fun,” they answered with a grin, “Ari's getting a taste of real gossip.”

“ _Oh joy_ ,” the teen sounded sarcastically, “ _Try to be good until I get home._ ”

“I can't promise anything.” Michael chuckled which only made Reese’s smile grow.

“ _Hey, I – uh…have good news_.”

“…Jeremy?” they asked hopefully, the other computer's eyes snapping to them in anticipation.

“ _ _…_ Yeah, he wants to help._”

“…Help you get away from me?”

“ _ **No** …Well, sorta, but no. He really wants to help us, and…I started telling him your story…is that okay? You said you didn't care…_”

“…No, it's okay,” Reese dismissed slowly, “Even if I wasn't, Jeremy is always the exception.”

__“_ Are you sure?_”

“Yes…How is he reacting?”

“ _…He's taking it in stride. I'm trying to space it out so he doesn’t get too freaked out. Hey, has Kert told Rich yet? He hasn’t kicked down our door screaming yet, so…?_ ”

“They're telling him in stride,” they answered, making eye contact with Kert, “A little bit each day. Rich knows mostly everything by now…other than that there's many human SQUIPs and that we're going back.” Michael sputtered loudly on the other line.

“ _That's the most important part!_ ” he exclaimed in shock.

“Calm down,” Reese hushed, “Rich is aware to an extent that there are other SQUIPs. He was having a hard time digesting it and refused to hear more. But he knows in the back of his mind that it's true, though I doubt he suspects how many there actually are.”

“ _And he'll flip his shit when he finds out Kert's going back. Great._ ”

“Kert  _did_ promise to stay and they refuse to listen to me, so they're in a tough spot.” Kert rolled their eyes.

“ _I'm glad they did, you're not going back alone._ ”

“Michael-"

“ _We need a team, right? No one better than those two at kicking ass_.” Reese smirked.

“I guess you're right.”

“ _I always am _,__ ” the teen took in a breath, _ _“_ Okay, I don’t know when I’m gonna be home. I'll probably be here for…I dunno, a while. I'm coordinating with Rich and Christine to figure out when we’re meeting up_.”

“You want to bring everyone here?”

“ _Just the key players. Everyone else doesn't have to be involved in our B &E, right?_”

“…Michael…” Reese sighed. They didn’t want him or anyone else in the field when it was time to actually carry out their plans. But the probability of success could go up with him there…

“ _…I know…We can talk about it later. Right now just go along with it_.”

“…If you insist.”

“ _I'll call when we're ready to come over. Be a good host until then _.__ ”

“Can't promise anything.” The teen snorted which lifted the SQUIP’s spirits. After a quick goodbye they hung up. It was quiet.

“…Will Christine be coming?” Ari asked hopefully.

“Yes.”

“Will you tell her our story too?”

“If you'd like.”

“We might as well tell them all,” Kert inputted, drawing lazily on the papers now. Reese shook their head.

“It's fine if they want to help us hide, but going to arms with us is asking too much. At maximum our ‘key players' should be guiding us from a distance while we do any real infiltrating.”

“That's not going to work.”

“It might if we find Jen.”

“…That's under the assumption that they're safe.”

“I’m hoping they are.” Kert glanced at Ari's worried expression and moved away from the subject.

“Even so, this operation is already beyond risky. We are three-" Reese gave a look, “ _ _-_ four _injured SQUIPs. We can't act as though our stealth skills are more advanced than theirs. Everything we have is technically theoretical, we have no muscle memory to back us up.”

“A. The two of us are healed enough to do this, and B. Theory didn't stop your driving when we first escaped or anything else we've done since.”

“We’re not healed _enough_ , Reese, and for the rest that's not true. We’ve no way of knowing for sure, but we can probably assume I learned how to drive _before_ my memory was wiped. I was also the one who taught Richard to drive and took him for his license. I was his designated driver since his father's such a deadbeat, so you can imagine I took the wheel more than once to keep us from crashing. Your point’s invalid.”

“So you'd rather send _Michael_ inside than us?”

“I think we shouldn't limit ourselves, especially since you're so insistent on rushing into this.”

“How can we not? We've waited long enough.”

“I understand that the idea of waiting sounds cruel but there’s no physical harm in doing so. All those SQUIPs are technically safe in comatose states. We can afford to wait until we have a solid plan.”

“And the new lives they're ruining?” Kert sighed, looking at the distressed computer in the eyes.

“Blue, be honest. You want to rush in because you told Michael the truth, and you know __he__  wont be able to understand waiting when lives are on the line.” Reese's eyes wavered before falling to the counter.

“…The faster we do this the faster it'll all be over.”

“But if we rush…” Ari trailed off. The blue eyed SQUIP sighed.

“I’m outvoted, aren’t I?”

“We just need to take our time, Reese. We don't need to rush into danger,” Kert coaxed gently, reaching over to place a hand on the younger’s shoulder. No sooner than they made contact did they all suddenly straighten as their eyes glowed bright.

“Again?” Reese whispered in disbelief.

“Their definitely persistent,” Kert growled, “And desperate.” The older quickly moved to Ari's side and helped them to stand. As they shifted towards the two bean chairs by the TV, Reese grabbed the vodka partly hidden behind the utensil holder – for Kert's peace of mind – and brought it over. The three quickly settled together on one chair. Ari had cuddled up to Reese and Kert shifted until they were right up against the blue eyed SQUIP, eyes filled with protectiveness for the two younger computers.

“First group drink, this can only lead to disaster,” Reese sighed as they passed the bottle to Ari. The youngest SQUIP looked nervous but reluctantly took the first sip.

“You should call Michael,” Ari encouraged as they gave it back to the older. Reese absentminded sipped from the drink as they glanced over to where they left the phone. It was still on the counter, and they were trapped under the two SQUIPs.

“Unless you two are planning on moving,” they mumbled dismissively before offering the bottle to Kert. The oldest computer’s eyes snapped to the liquid, but they made no move to take it. Reese's heart froze in recognition. “Green,” they called gently. When Kert didn’t answer the younger ducked their head to try and meet their eyes, “Hey, it’ll be okay. We’re here.” Kert slowly gave a sharp nod, but it was clearly forced. Reese hesitantly gave them the bottle, and they winced at how painful it looked for the green eyed SQUIP to drink from it. They wished there was another way. As soon as Kert took a sip Reese grabbed the bottle away and placed it as far from the three as they could. Ari reached across to take Kert’s hand.

“I’m scared too,” they offered honestly. Reese nodded, putting an arm around Kert’s shoulders in a half-hug.

“We’ll be here when you wake, I promise,” they swore. Kert nodded, relaxing into place, but the blue eyed computer could still feel the tension in their body. They really wished they had grabbed the phone now. Rich needed to be here, but they really were trapped and the alcohol would kick in at any second. But maybe…

__‘_ …Jeremy?’_

It was a long shot. They haven’t reached out to Jeremy in so long - a condition they made with Michael - and even before the teen had always ignored them. But if Jeremy had agreed to helping them, then maybe…

__‘_ Jeremy? _’__

……

It was no use. Either Jeremy was ignoring them or they just couldn’t reach their host anymore. That hurt their heart more than they thought it would. Their anxiety only increased when their mind started to become garbled, unable to think clearly. No, there was no point in reaching out for help now. They could feel the other two starting to tense more noticeably, and Ari was muttering something in Japanese. They didn’t care to hear what exactly the younger was saying, it was probably nonsense.

Accepting that there was nothing they could do, Reese waited for the moment they’d black out. It wouldn’t be long. Their own heartbeat was pounding in their chest…they were scared too. Scared of the frightened disorientation they’d have upon waking, and not having Michael there. But mostly they feared the memories the other two SQUIPs would no doubt leak into them. They’d have to be the one to help them both…but who’d be the one to help them?

They closed their eyes, unable to focus on one thing anymore, only making their anxiety worse. In the back of their mind they thought they heard something.

__‘_ …SQUIP?_’

No doubt it was an illusion, but in case it wasn’t they pushed their chaotic thoughts towards it. Maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t be alone in this.


	28. Change of Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alcohol?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, everyone calm down. I didn't drop the story, I got sick again and needed to rest this time. I know you guys would've hated another Author's Note so I didn't put one up this time. No it's not a double upload this week either, but I have something else that might make up for it. The second story is finally read to go up! It's not the super hero one, that one will have to wait until Replaced is done its first book (it's officially been decided this will be two books with how long its taking me to get anywhere in it). But I made a light hearted story to go along side this one to make you guys feel good during the week during the big events coming up in Replaced. So check that one out if you're interested in some light hearted BMC, if not stay with this drama.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“You are so grounded when we get home,” the woman grumbled to herself as she put her cellphone to her ear for what felt like the hundredth time. Pacing across the hotel room she waited.

****RING…RING…** **

“Michael Mell answer your phone,” she huffed angrily, tapping her foot against the floor.

****RING-** **

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Michael Mell,” the woman named sternly, “Why do you have that phone?”

“ _Wha _-__ "

“Why?”

“ _…In case of emergency?_ ” the teen questioned on the other line.

“Exactly! So why is it that whenever I call your phone is busy?!” she snapped. A long sigh was heard.

“ _Mom, I texted you _-"__

“Texting is not the same, Mister. Anyone can text and say they're you, especially with all the ‘I'm fine', ‘Nothing', ‘Don't worry' ‘s I’ve been getting!”

“ _…I'm sorry._ ”

“Who's calling you all the time that you can't answer when I call?” The woman waited, raising a brow at the long pause that followed her question.

“ _I answer when you call at night_ ,” Michael defended, “ _Don’t call when I'm at school._ ”

“It's Sunday, Michael.”

“ _…I'm sorry._ ”

“You didn’t answer my question. Who's calling you?” Another long pause. The woman crossed her arms as best she could with the phone still in hand as she waited expectantly.

“ _…I met someone _.__ ” She blinked.

“What? Who?”

“ _…A friend of Jeremy's _.__ ”

“…Wait, like a _boyfriend_?” she questioned slowly, voice thick in curiosity. There was a pause.

“… _Yes_?”

“Why was that a question?”

“ _I mean…we've only been on one date..._ ”

“My baby boy went on his first date without us there!” his mother pouted, “We really are the worst. I'm sorry, honey.”

“ _N-No, it's okay. I get it, you guys are busy _…__ ”

“We should never be too busy for you, Michael.” The teen didn't answer and the woman felt guilty. They were supposed to be home over a week ago, but her wife had gotten an urgent call from work requiring her to go to the company's closest branch. They both hoped it wouldn't take long, why would it? But that company…is very secretive, so when things go wrong it becomes a small crisis. Her wife is not supposed to  talk about it, but she let slip that it had something to do with theft of their product, or something like that. They had to travel to two more branches to confirm this, including the one that the problem was originating in. She hated not telling Michael that they were actually in New Jersey, but it was important for security purposes that they remain close to the company's location for emergency purposes…It was something she didn't understand, but the company was insistent.

The woman sighed, running a hand through her brown hair, “So, what's his name?”

“ _ _…_ Reese_.”

“Reese? That's a nice name. You met through Jeremy?”

“ _Yeah _.__ ”

“Where'd you go on your date?”

“ _Umm…to the movies._ ”

“What movie?”

“ _Uh…There was an old movie marathon so we watched Alien_.”

“Oh,” she cooed, “Classic movie guy.”

“ _Heh, sorta._ ”

“I can't wait to meet him. I have to give him the full ‘what are your intentions with my son?’ routine.” Michael sputtered.

“ _Mom_ ,” he whined.

“That's one of the highlights of being a parent, Michael. Embarrassing your child and scaring their partner,” she smiled. Michael chuckled.

“ _Doubt you could scare them off, but thanks for the embarrassment _.__ ”

“You're welcome. Now, how is-"

“ _What? Jer – What are you talking abo – wha…shit. Mom, I gotta go_.”

“Wha – why? Is Jeremy okay?” she questioned concerned.

“ _Yeah, I just – I gotta go. Talk to you later_.” Before she could speak the line went dead. Looking at her phone she pressed her lips together tightly. That didn't ease her worrying.

~oOo~

“Jer, what's wrong?” Michael asked as he looked his best friend over. They had been walking to his PT Cruiser when his mom had called. He insisted to Jeremy to get in the car alone so that he could take the call in peace - not wanting his friend to overhear about Reese. Everything had gone well until Jeremy, only moments ago,  burst out through the passenger door in a panic. He was mumbling that something was wrong and was grabbing at his head. “Jer,” he called again to the frazzled boy.

“The SQUIP,” the teen groaned, leaning his head against the car. Michael's eyes widened.

“What? Reese? You can hear them?” he asked shocked.

“It’s garbled, what the hell,” Jeremy grumbled, leaning back enough to rub at his forehead.

“What are you talking about? Does your head hurt?”

“No, it’s just…what the hell.”

“Jeremy-"

“Alcohol? Is that…I don’t speak Japanese, SQUIP!” Michael's heart froze.

“Alcohol?” he echoed numbly. He didn't wait for his friend to answer, “Get in the car.” Jeremy just dumbly nodded his head as he slumped back into the car, the shorter quickly following. Michael barely locked his seat belt in before he pulled the vehicle away from the house and began racing towards his own.

“Jer, I need you to talk to me,” the teen instructed as he tried his best to stay calm, “What are they saying?”

“I don't know,” Jeremy answered honestly, “Rich? Maybe? Something about Rich?”

“Rich?” Michael echoed before realizing what he meant, “Shit, Kert. You need to call Rich and tell him to meet us there.”

“…It stopped,” the taller suddenly sounded. Michael nearly slammed on the breaks, eyes going wide as his heart hammered in his chest. No, no Reese was okay. He had to stay calm.

“T-They're just unconscious,” he explained, his voice wavering. He shakily took in a deep breath. “You need to call Rich.” Jeremy nodded lightly as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. After dialing the number he put the device on speaker phone.

****RING** ** ****…** ** ****RING** ** ****…** ** ****RING** ** ****…** **

Michael hated the sound of telephone rings. He'd have to curse Reese for that later.

****RING** ** **** ****-** ** **** ****BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.** **

The line was in use.

“‘Course he would be,” Jeremy mumbled as he went to dial again. Michael sighed annoyed. Of course the moment they'd need him he'd be unavailable. Who could he possibly be-

The teen paused when he felt his own phone vibrating in his pocket. His face fell as he let out a long breath through his nose. Grabbing the device he haphazardly threw it at his friend without warning. “Here.” Jeremy stumbled to catch it, eyes surprised, but quickly answered after seeing the caller ID.

“Rich?”

“ _THE EVIL PEOPLE ARE BACK AND I'M GONNA BREAK DOWN YOUR DOOR!_ ”

“Rich, no!” Michael yelled in alarm.

“ _I need to get in!_ ”

“Wait for us – why are you even there?”

“ _I'm not…but I will be!_ ”

“How'd you know about the bad guys?” Jeremy questioned, “Was it your…you know?”

“ _Yeah! They didn't really say anything but, like, they were upset and I could feel it! I know it's the bad people!_ ”

“It is,” Michael confirmed, “We're on our way.”

“ _I'll meet you!_ ”

“Jer, call Christine,” he instructed. Jeremy hesitated.

“…Michael, if…if the bad guys are looking for them…and all of us who _own_  the SQUIPs-"

“ _Tic Tacs_ ,” Michael hissed.

“That's so obvious,” Jeremy deadpanned.

“Whatever, what were you saying?”

“If Rich, Christine, and me all show up at your house, and the evil people are there…wont they know the ‘Tic Tacs' are there too?” he questioned. The other two were silent as they thought it over.

“ _It doesn’t matter! We can't leave them there!_ ” Rich argued.

“…We have an hour,” Michael slowly pointed out, “An hour from now…we could…we could wait…”

“ _Are you serious, Mikey?_ ” Rich asked in disbelief.

“I don't like it, but I don’t want them to get caught either.”

_“So, what? You want to **wait**?_ ”

“…Forty-five minutes,” Michael offered.

“ _That's way too long!_ ”

“Rich,” he called sternly, “We have to.” The shorter was quiet. Michael hated the plan too. He wanted to be by Reese's side in case anything happened, to be able to give them some peace of mind that he would there when they woke…but he couldn't. He knows Reese would agreed with this. This __is__  the best thing to do, but that didn't make it easy.

“What should I tell Christine?” Jeremy asked quietly. Michael thought about it for a moment.

“Tell her to meet us at the mall. Rich, you too.”

“… _Fine_ ,” Rich reluctantly agreed. Jeremy gave a small nod before turning to his phone.

~oOo~

“Can we go yet?”

“No.”

“But it’s been forty minutes!”

“No,” Michael repeated with a sigh, slumping further down the mall bench. Rich groaned loudly as he began pacing back and forth in front of his friends. After the four teens met up, they had tried walking around the mall at first to appear natural. That lasted less than fifteen minutes before they ended up crashing.

“It's like they knew we were gonna plan,” Christine said as she swung her legs back and forth under the bench.

“ _You_  didn't even know we were going to plan,” Michael retorted.

“This is insane,” Jeremy mumbled, standing in front of the two with tightly crossed arms, “We can't do this.”

“Jer,” Christine sighed.

“How can you guys not see how scary this is?”

“I'm terrified,” Michael countered, voice low and eyes downcast, “I've been terrified since day one, and that's not gonna change. But I’m not gonna let them win.”

“This isn't a video game, Michael. _Living_ is winning.”

“And Reese living?” Jeremy didn't answer. Michael could see the confliction in his friend's eyes and decided not to argue further, it wasn't getting them anywhere.

“Did Reese tell you what we're gonna do?” Christine asked gently, looking to him.

“No,” Michael mumbled, letting out a long breath, “I know they want to go back, so it’s probably something stealthy, and I know that whatever it is they don't want me in the field doing it.”

“I wanna be in the field!” Rich volunteered, “I will seriously kick all their asses for traumatizing my Muppet! It’s against the law to make Kermit cry! It has to be!” Christine laughed and the other two boys snorted.

“I doubt Kert will let you,” Michael retorted lightly.

“I have my ways,” Rich replied coyly, winking at the others. Jeremy made a face.

“I don’t wanna know what that means…”

“You really don’t,” his friend agreed.

“Can we go yet?” the shorter prodded again. Michael checked his phone.

“…Yeah,” he finally conceded. Rich pumped the air, exhilarated.

“Finally!”

“Are you sure, Michael?” Jeremy asked nervously.

“No,” the other answered flatly as he stood. Christine hopped up beside him.

“Maybe we should buy some Mountain Dew Red before we go. For the bad guys,” she suggested.

“I have some in my bag,” Michael informed while pointing his thumb in the direction of the parking lot.

“But if we get attacked how would we use it?” Jeremy questioned with furrowed brows as they all headed out of the mall. They each thought about it for a moment.

“You only have to taste it, right?” Rich asked, not waiting for an answer, “Then we should put it in water guns! If we shoot them in the face then they'll _have_  to taste it!”

“We can't walk around with water guns,” Christine chastised, “People will think they're real!”

“That’s an even better idea!”

“No, no guns,” Michael cut in, “We’re doing stealth.”

“…You know, they have water guns in those new years crackers and vending machines that are tiny,” Jeremy pointed out, “It could probably hold a shot of Mountain Dew.”

“Ooo,” Christine cooed, “We'd look like secret agents!”

“We _are_  secret agents,” Rich corrected, puffing out his chest. Michael rolled his eyes but let out a small grin as they went through the exit and walked across the parking lot to his car. Both Christine and Rich transited there, so they only had one vehicle to deal with.

Driving back home was both a breeze and nerve wrecking. On one hand the teens continued to talk about ideas, everything from weapons to walkie-talkies to what date would work best for them. Michael didn't contribute to the last part, knowing they couldn’t wait as long as his friends hoped to pull this stunt…there are lives on the line. But there was also tension in the car. Each of them took turns looking out the window nervously for enemies they couldn’t identify and the closer they got the more anxious both he and Rich became. He barely came to a stop outside his house before Rich hopped out.

“Rich!” he yelled after the boy.

“What? Hurry up or I'll break down your door,” Rich snapped through his door annoyed.

“Act natural,” Michael hissed. The shorter blinked before registering what he meant. Christine quickly popped out of the car too and bounced beside the teen excitedly.

“Apocalypse of the Damned!” she cheered, “Let's kick some ass!” Michael gave Jeremy a look and the taller blushed in embarrassment. The two calmly exited the car, Michael trying his best to not let the fact that his heart was trying to beat out of his chest affect him.

“Level nine,” Jeremy added in, trying to sound enthused.

“Nerds,” Rich named with a roll of his eyes. They did sound pretty ridiculous. The group slowly moved towards the door, probably too suspiciously slow. Michael tried to steady his hand as he put the key in the door, unlocking it before casually entering. He let each of his friends come in before anxiously locking the door behind them.

Then all hell broke loose.

“Kert!” Rich yelled, running towards the basement.

“Rich, slow down!” Jeremy tried as they all followed close behind. Michael huffed as he got stuck behind everyone else as they descended the stairs. He couldn't have been more annoyed - it was his house! But he couldn't push passed them, so he waited his turn.

Seeing the unconscious SQUIPs from across the room, Rich bolted to Kert's side. “Kert,” he called emotionally, his voice wavering as though he were about to cry as he gripped onto their sleeve tightly. Christine was next to arrive, going to Ari’s side. She knelt beside them but kept her hands to herself as though worried it would upset the SQUIP upon waking to have her hands on them. Jeremy just hovered behind his girlfriend, kneeling down to be at her level in case she needed him. Finally Michael took his place in front of Reese, resisting the urge to grab at them too. The blue eyed SQUIP was wedged between the two other computers and it would be insensitive to try and wiggle his way in. They'd wake up soon enough, so he could wait.

“This is freaky,” Jeremy whispered as though his voice might wake the SQUIPs. Christine nodded in agreement, lightly brushing Ari's hair out of their face.

“Are they okay?” she asked concerned.

“For now,” Michael answered honestly. It was the waking up part they needed to fear.

So they waited.

All of them silently agreed to not talk as they looked for any signs of movement. Minutes ticked by agonizingly slow. But, eventually, one of them stirred. Ari was the first to wake.

“Warning…Warning…” they barely sounded as their eyelids fluttered open.

“Ari,” Christine called gently, her hand twitching as though she wanted to reach out. Ari's clouded eyes shifted until they found her and immediately they widened.

“N-No - Warning!” they choked as they tried to shift away, only stumbling and pinning themselves up against Reese. Christine threw her hands up in defense.

“No, it's okay, Ari! It's me!” she tried. The SQUIP only shook their head.

“N-No! Don't! I-I didn't-" they stuttered, unable to complete their sentence.

“It's okay, Ari!” the girl tried again, “The bad people are gone!” Michael bit his lip, trying to hold back his sigh. Christine, bless her heart, had no idea what was actually scaring the computer. But her words seemed to confuse the SQUIP enough to encourage them to take in their surroundings, blinking to clear their vision.

“W-Wha,” they sounded, voice slightly slurred. A stir behind them pulled everyone's attention as Reese's eyes soon opened.

“Reese,” Michael breathed, his heart pounding in his chest as he slowly placed a hand on their arm.

“Warning?” the SQUIP sounded with furrowed brows as they blurrily looked around.

“Blue,” Ari cried as they buried their face into the older’s side, hugging them tight. Reese tried to blink their vision clear as they looked at the younger confused.

“Pink?” they called back, pulling their arm away from Michael to place it around the younger's back in an awkward half-hug, still not fully registering the one beside them.

“Pink?” Christine echoed confused, looking at the male beside her. Michael gave a small shrug, not wanting to pull his attention away from the SQUIP.

“Reese,” he called gently, concern pooling in stomach at the possibility of not being recognized, or remembered correctly. Reese’s blue eyes finally shifted to him. They tensed at first, but the longer they looked at him the faster their irises cleared.

“Michael,” they breathed, their body relaxing and relief showing on their face. Michael let out a breath of his own, giving a small smile in return. Good, the alcohol didn't confuse them for long. Reese always did well with alcohol, at least compared to the other two. It was just the overlap in memories between the three that messed the blue eyed computer up. Christine reached out a hand to Ari, and this time the SQUIP looked at her in better recognition.

“Christine,” they named as they slowly moved from Reese to the girl. Christine smiled encouragingly as she hugged her SQUIP tightly.

“It's okay, I got you,” she promised, giving a squeeze. Ari tensed at first but slowly accepted the embrace. Michael glanced at the still unconscious SQUIP wearily. Kert would be waking any second now. Taking Reese's arm gently in his hand he tugged for them to move closer. The SQUIP did, shifting their arm out from around the older SQUIP and allowing Rich more room.

“Do you want some space?” Michael asked the shorter, voice quiet. Rich nodded, eyes not moving for a second from his computer. The taller gave a short nod as he tugged on Reese’s arm again, but this time they were more resilient to move. Their eyes were locked on the older SQUIP. “Reese,” he called, but they shook their head. The teen sighed, but before he could try to persuade them to move Kert's eyes opened.

“Warning…Warning…” they breathed, irises half-lidded. Michael's breath caught in his throat. They  _really_  shouldn't be there. He tried to turn his attention towards Reese to tug on their arm again, but the SQUIP didn't listen, eyes ablaze as they watched Kert intently. Ari's gaze had also snapped to the green eyed computer, face anxious as they let their eyes shine.

“Kert,” Rich called, his voice wavering as he shook their shoulders lightly. Kert blinked but the fogginess clouding their vision didn't leave. In seconds their breathing started to quicken as their eyes darted around unfocused.

“Richa…” their voice died in their throat as they got more frantic, trying to move but not have the full function to so. Rich held them in place as he tried to gain their attention.

“Kert, it's okay! It's okay, I'm here! We're okay!” he assured, voice too firm for comfort. Kert didn’t seem to hear him as they looked around more panicked, freaking out at the unseen weight trapping them to their seat. Reese sat up straight as they snapped their eyes to Rich, irises shining bright as their brows came together in deep concentration. Kert's eyes quickly illuminated in response and suddenly locked onto Rich as though they could see him through their fog.

“Richard,” they choked as they moved out of the teen's hold to hug him tightly. Rich was quick to reciprocate – hugging them way too close for comfort – as the computer buried their face in his neck.

“It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay,” the teen cried as he gripped onto their shirt as though they might slip away. Kert was shaking violently in his arms, but if they were crying they didn't let it sound.

“Michael,” Reese called, pulling the teen out of his stare. The lights in their eyes doused as they turned tiredly towards the boy beside him. They motioned with their head towards the stairs and Michael nodded in understanding.

“Let's go,” he whispered to Christine and Jeremy. The other two hesitantly nodded. The girl helped Ari to stand, but when the SQUIP leaned more heavily onto her Jeremy reluctantly stepped up to help. Michael could see the discomfort on his friend's face and he remember back to how he'd felt helping Reese the first night they'd appeared. He wished he could tell Jeremy that if it made him uncomfortable he didn't have to do it, but Ari needed help and he need to be available to help Reese. Turning back to said SQUIP he took their arm and helped them stand. Reese took a moment to balance on their feet before motioning that they were okay on their own. Michael stayed by their side despite this and followed their slower pace to the stairs.

The small group ascended quietly to the next floor, filing into the dining room before letting out a collective breath. “Wow,” Christine sounded, shaking her head at the intense atmosphere they just left.

“What's wrong with Rich's SQUIP?” Jeremy asked nervously as he pulled out a chair for Ari to sit, the young SQUIP blushing lightly as the action.

“They get confused when they drink alcohol,” Reese answered, “And believe both Rich and themselves are in danger.”

“Why?”

“That's their personal business, Jeremy. Please respect that,” though their words were polite their tone had an edge. Michael sighed, but was grateful it took this long for their attitude to show up.

“Are you okay, Ari?” Christine asked gently, running a hand up and down the computer's back soothingly. Ari nodded but their face was somber.

“Blue,” they called quietly.

“I know,” Reese sighed, running a hand through their own hair.

“What?” Michael asked, frowning at the computer. Reese didn't answer right away, eyes downcast.

“We need to change plans,” they informed quietly.

“You never told your first plan to begin with,” Jeremy pointed out with a frown. Reese rolled their eyes.

“Well, _Jeremy_ , that plan hasn't changed. Enter building, rescue victims, gain evidence of foul play, then exit. Satisfied?”

“Reese,” Michael warned. The SQUIP sighed.

“Rescue?” Christine echoed, looking to her boyfriend for clarification. Jeremy just paled at the reminded of the trapped SQUIPs.

“What changed, then?” Michael diverted, looking at Reese. The computer hesitated.

“It's clear they know we're here, Michael, somewhere in this area. It's too dangerous to keep hidden like this.” The teen stared at them hard for a minute as he processed their words. In an instant his stomach flared up in anxiety and anger.

“You're not leaving,” he hissed.

“Michael,” Reese tried, raising their hands to calm him.

“No, you agreed!”

“I'm not suggesting a permanent absence-"

“I swear if you keep this up I'll go tell Rich and let him kick __all__ of your asses!”

“No, not Ari, they're hurt,” Christine defended with a pout, wrapping her arms loosely around the SQUIP’s shoulders. Ari paused at the contact before awkwardly patting the girl’s hand.

“I can take Rich.”

“No doubt of it,” Jeremy mumbled, looking at the young SQUIP nervously. He quickly shook his head before turning his gaze to his best friend, “Michael, we should hear him out. If it's dangerous here…”

“Oh, we should ‘here them out’! So you're both ‘ _ _friends__ ’ now?! Or is it because they're suggesting leaving?!” Michael snapped.

“That's enough,” Reese cut in, taking the teen by the shoulders and forcing him to face them, “You promised you'd be open minded. The need to survive needs to outweigh stubbornness."

“You can't be serious right now!” Michael yelled in disbelief, voice more frantic at the idea of losing to the majority. Reese's eyes softened, grip loosening as they let their thumbs run soothing circles over the boy’s shoulders.

“A week. That's all I need,” they whispered reassuringly. It was quiet as they all soaked in their words.

“A week,” Michael echoed hollowly. The SQUIP nodded.

“If we can convince them without a shadow of a doubt that we're somewhere else then they'll leave this place alone.”

“How do you do that?” Jeremy asked curiously.

“Appear on their radar in a different city and let them get close,” Reese answered, not moving their eyes from Michael for a second.

“That's too dangerous. What if they…” Michael couldn't even finish his sentence.

“…If it’d ease your mind we can leave you with the blueprints Kert’s drawn of the corporation’s building in case we need rescuing, but the percentage of your success would be less than ten.”

“I only need one,” the teen retorted, eyes filled with the need to protect. Reese smiled.

“That's true.”

“Wait, so you're going to _leave_? And have us save you?” Christine clarified panicked. The SQUIP tore their eyes away from the teen to look at the others.

“No. I have full confidence that they won't catch us. But we __do__  need to leave.”

“I don't like this,” Michael voiced, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. Reese sighed.

“The most I can offer you is to wait to see if they try looking for us again. If they do, we have no choice,” they offered quietly. Michael pressed his lips together into a tight line.

“I don't want to agree.”

“You need to.” The teen stared at them, eyes wavering. Slowly he took in a shuttered breath.

“Fine…If they come again, we'll do it.” Those were words he knew he'd regret, but he couldn’t go back on them now. Not even when fate turned against him and the SQUIP people came back less than an hour later.

It was hopeless…and for the first time in a long time did he feel truly alone.


	29. Separated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Will you even say ‘goodbye’ to me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally edited this with my eyes half closed for a couple of days. Hope it turned out decent...wow, I really am tired if I have nothing more to write than that. Goin' to bed now, night!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“So, are you going to keep ignoring me?” Reese questioned as they watched Michael pull bottles of Mountain Dew out of the fridge. The teen didn’t answer, purposefully locking his eyes to his task as he neatly stacked the drinks on the counter. The SQUIP sighed, straightening from where they leaned against the counter and walked around to face him. They stood in front of the boy, cutting him off in his tracks as he tried to go to the cupboards, much to the shorter's annoyance. When Michael still didn't look them in the eye they gently took his hand in theirs. “Will you even say ‘goodbye’ to me?” The teen faltered, shaking his head with watery eyes as he looked to the ground.

“No.”

“Goodbye isn't forever.”

“I don't care.”

“Michael.”

“Obviously I'm not doing good enough to keep you safe here, so just go,” Michael snapped, “I can't even go two days without _something_  happening to you so you'd probably do better on the streets!”

“I hope you don't actually believe that,” Reese whispered.

“Maybe I do.” The SQUIP let out a small sigh. None of the teens were taking this news well. They all thought it was suicidal and stupid, but they had no choice but to agree. To put more salt on the wound the SQUIPs decided that they'd leave at dawn the next day.

“This is not your fault, Michael,” they insisted firmly, “This was beyond our control. Ari and Jen's appearance here heavily tipped them off, there was nothing we could do. But it's only one week.”

“How will I even know if you're okay? Or if they caught you, or if you're…” Michael trailed off, shaking his head. Reese’s eyes softened as they gently tilted the boy's chin so he could finally meet their gaze.

“You won't, but I promise you'll be the one to get me,” they answered firmly. The teen stared at them, eyes not convinced but swaying.

“When?” he asked, his voice barely sounding and hallow. The computer trailed their thumb along his jaw in a soothing gesture, thinking it over.

“If it'd ease your mind: Friday, after dark. I'll call you at midnight sharp with our location.”

“Wouldn't it be Saturday if it's midnight?” Michael pointed out flatly. Reese smirked.

“Yes. But I didn't want to confuse you by saying midnight Saturday.”

“You got my hopes up with Friday and it's actually Saturday.”

“That's why I phrased it that way.”

“To disappoint me?”

“To raise your spirits.” The teen sighed.

“And if you don't call?”

“Then you can panic.” The SQUIP smiled sympathetically at the anxiety that came over the male's face. They let their hand drop to take Michael's hand in theirs again. “But when you wake Saturday morning, I'll be there to greet you.” The teen took in a shuttered breath, trying to keep himself together.

“I can't do this. Go a whole week pretending that everything's fine when you're being chased by the assholes who turned _you_  into an asshole.”

“Nice phrasing,” Reese said flatly.

“I try.” The computer chuckled.

“Well, what if that wasn't _all_  you did?” The teen narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“What do you mean?”

“How would you feel carrying out your own mission in my absence?”

“A mission?” Michael echoed. Reese nodded. “What mission?”

“…I need you to steal SQUIPs for me.” The teen gasped an unintelligible noise, eyes going wide.

“You want me to _what_?” The SQUIP grinned amused.

“We need to control all the variables, Michael. The less SQUIPs activated the more humans we can awaken later.” Michael bit his lip, looking at the taller wearily.

“How would I do that?”

“Simple: go with Rich and Jeremy to the Payless and take all their SQUIPs.”

“Your pill cost four hundred dollars! I can't afford that!” the teen exclaimed, “And there's no way they'll give Rich their whole inventory!”

“That's when you become _creative_.” Michael groaned.

“You want us to really steal it, don't you?”

“We can return the pills to the company after we expose the branch if that makes you feel any better, but yes,” Reese answered with a sweet smile. The teen let out a long breath, running a hand over his face.

“I hate this.”

“I know.” The SQUIP gently pulled the shorter into a hug. Michael didn't reciprocate but instead leaned fully into the other's touch, resting his head against their shoulder. He didn't want to give in, to make this ‘goodbye’ official, but not returning the gesture won't stop them from leaving. Reese leaned their forehead against his hair, whispering into his ear, “I wish I could ask you to come with me.” Michael blushed and this time he couldn't stop himself from wrapping his arms around the computer in a tight embrace.

“I would have said ‘yes',” he choked as he buried his face against the other's shoulder, “I’m supposed to help you.” Reese ran their fingers through his hair soothingly, nuzzling their face lightly against his.

“Heh, imagine the chaos we could do together,” they mumbled with a sad grin. Michael let out a small sound.

“A hundred percent.”

“That's right…but, I'm scared of what could happen too,” Reese whispered honestly.

“And what about to you?” The SQUIP didn’t answer. Michael let out a long breath. “When you get back, I want you to include me in your ‘field' plan.”

“No.”

“I won't negotiate.” Reese gave him a hard look.

“We can discuss it, is that enough?” they offered forcefully.

“Fine,” the teen sighed. Reese pulled back enough to look the other in the eyes, a small, shy smile on their lips.

“Maybe…we could discuss it over dinner?” Michael blinked, cheeks darkening.

“Are you asking me out again?” he asked with a grin.

“I never asked you out to begin with.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I would like a second date, yes,” Reese clarified with a wider smile. Their face then softened as their voice quieted, “It could be a promise to you that…that I _will_  come back.” The teen stared, eyes watering once more as the words sunk in.

“Okay,” he breathed shakily, finding it hard to keep himself still. The SQUIP’s smile turned sad, their reality returning to weigh down on them in the heavy silence. Without a word they leaned forward and pressed their lips against his, kissing the teen deeply. Michael let his eyes close as he returned the gesture, his fingers curling into the computer's jacket to pull them closer. He didn’t want them to go, not now…not when things were finally clicking into place for them. He wished there was another way…Reese’s arms wrapped around him in a tight hug and he knew they were thinking the same. It was only confirmed when the SQUIP pulled back revealing the tear streak that had slipped from their eye. Michael’s heart ached. In that moment he realized he had more to grieve over than he thought. Yes, he as worried about the SQUIPs getting caught, but now…What if Reese had a break down and he was not be there to help them? How much could Michael trust the other SQUIPs to take care of them when they were unstable themselves? If Reese had a nightmare, would they be able to calm them? If they did something that only their ‘old’ self would do, would the SQUIPs stop them from blocking their feelings? Would Reese do that anyways? What if they block out the feeling of loneliness? Would they feel lonely? Their tears were enough to say ‘yes’ for him.

Michael gently wiped their tears away, resting his forehead against theirs as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “I’m here,” he whispered as reassuringly as he could, letting his thumb soothingly brush against their cheek. Reese leaned into the touch.

“Don't forget about me,” they whispered, their hand taking his as they squeezed it tight. Michael’s heart hurt, his lungs having a harder time taking in air, but he forced a smile on for them.

“Never,” he promised, “How can I? You've made an impression.”

~oOo~

The sun hadn't even started rising when it was time for the SQUIPs to leave. Michael and Reese – the later in a new disguise – left the house a little earlier than planned, and started walking towards the bus stop they agreed to meet the others at. They were both silent on their journey, the teen feeling his heart hammering inside his chest with each step they took towards their destination. As his anxiety worsened he squeezed Reese's hand tighter. He didn’t remember when the SQUIP took his hand in theirs, but he was grateful for the contact.

While they walked his mind raced through everything and his eyes wandered over to Reese themself. It was bad enough the amount of things he was already worried about, but to make matters worse was that the SQUIP insisted on bringing nothing more than a backpack of Mountain Dew and a change of clothes with them. He tried insisting otherwise but the computer was animate about only bringing the ‘essentials’. Luckily they eventually agreed to bring some small snacks too, and some money, but that was it. The only reason - he imagined - they accepted the money at all was to be able to call him Saturday morning to be picked up…he wondered how they would going to do that otherwise.

The two were the first to arrive, waiting quietly in the dark for the others to appear. Every second felt like an eternity and every shadow felt like it was holding a thousand eyes waiting for them to screw up. Michael was finally allowed to release his breath when two figures appeared down the side walk. Fear struck him first but it quickly turned to relief upon recognized the silhouette of the shorter teen. He was surprised he wasn’t alerted to their presence sooner through loud conversation…but what surprised him more was that both Kert and Rich refused to say a word even as they stepped up beside them, only giving a small nod in acknowledgment. Michael wondered if something happened between them, maybe a fight, but the look Kert gave to Reese was all the confirmation he needed. Rich probably hadn’t shut up about all this until now.

A couple minutes later a familiar car pulled by and parked in the side street near where they stood. Shortly after three figures joined them at the stop. It was Christine, Ari, and Chloe. Michael was surprised to see the popular girl and wondered if the SQUIP had been staying with her instead of Brooke. When the computer was dropped off at his house yesterday it was both Brooke and Chloe who left them and later picked them back up, so it was quite possible Ari was staying with Chloe instead.

Michael was happy to see that the other two SQUIPs had small bags with them as well. He would hate for them to have to rely on what Reese was bringing alone. “So…this is it?” Christine finally spoke, breaking the silence. Ari turned to their human with a small, assuring smile.

“We’ll be okay,” they answered, taking Reese's free hand in theirs. Michael huffed slightly but didn't say anything. It wasn’t as if the SQUIP was trying to steal his partner.

“This is so stupid,” Chloe protested with tightly crossed arms.

“Yeah,” Rich agreed, his voice almost a growl. Kert rolled their eyes with a sigh.

“It must be done,” Reese answered firmly, leaving no room for discussion. Michael averted his eyes, pulling his phone out as a distraction.

“It'll be here soon,” he mumbled. Silence fell over them again as they waited. Michael knew if there was a time to say goodbye, now would be it, but the thickness of the air was choking him. He wished someone would break it, let the tension dissipate again, to not let all the attention be on him if he spoke.

Luckily Chloe was here. “Are you sure you have everything?” the girl asked as she looked Ari up and down. The SQUIP nodded.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Don't get hurt, okay?” Christine insisted as she pulled the computer into a hug, “Come back safe.”

“Fight tooth and nail, girl,” Chloe agreed with a nod of her head, “Kick their ass.”

“Okay,” Ari smiled from over their human's shoulder. While they spoke Kert turned to look at their own host. Rich was avoiding eye contact, still fuming where he stood.

“ _Richard, stop_ ,” they insisted through their mind link.

“ _You don't fucking learn_ ,” Rich hissed back, glaring at the SQUIP, “ _After what they fucking did to you yesterday? What the actual fuck!”_

“ _I know_ ,” Kert sighed quietly. Gently they pulled Rich's arms apart so they weren't crossed despite the younger's resistance. “ _I don't know what I'm going to do if I have to…and you're not there when I wake_.”

“ _Then don't go_ ,” Rich insisted desperately, “ _If they see Reese and Ari they won't check here!_ ”

“ _They'll know I'm somewhere. If they don't think I'm with Reese they'll believe I'm with you. I have to go_ ,” the computer lamented. Rich shook his head, but he was startling to tremble now.

“ _You're so stupid_.”

“ _I know_.” The teen bit his lip.

“ _I hate you you stupid Muppet _.__ ” Kert smiled lightly.

“ _I know _.__ ” Rich looked away, eyes filling up with tears.

“ _I'm sorry…for yelling at you before._ ”

“ _I'm sorry I broke my promise_.” Rich nodded lightly. The SQUIP took the teen’s chin and tilted his head up to look at them. With a sad smile they kissed the boy. It took nothing for Rich to reciprocate, wrapping his arms around the computer's neck and pulling them as close as he could. Kert made a sound as they hugged the boy closer, deepening the kiss.

Michael looked over at the two, having to hold in his sigh at the typical action. They weren’t even trying to look socially acceptable as they made out in front of the group, much to his discomfort. Gaining everyone else’s attention with the noises they made, Chloe looked at them bewildered. “Are you __seriously__ fucking your SQUIP right now?!” she exclaimed. The two didn’t even acknowledge that she spoke outside of Rich flipping her off from over his computer's shoulder. Ari just clapped lightly in support of the two's affection, earning a giggle from Christine. Michael shook his head, a small smile on his lips before seeing the oncoming bus appear in his vision. His heart began slamming into his rib cage. Time was almost up. He quickly looked at Reese, and the SQUIP met his gaze. Their eyes were…scared. He opened his mouth to speak, to try to say anything that could bring comfort, but before any word could be uttered he was silence by their lips on his. He was surprised, not expecting them to openly kiss him in public, but he quickly relaxed into the touch. Reese was all that mattered right now. He could feel the SQUIP’s hands running up and down his arms slowly in a soothing fashion, but it wasn't enough. Nothing could be enough to ease his mind now, but he appreciate the attempt. The moment was interrupted by another round of applause, this time faster as it came from behind. It wasn't hard to guess who it came from. It was immediately followed by a chorus of gasps and he froze. Right, their first time kissing in public…whoops.

“What the fu-" Rich started, glaring dangerously passed Kert to them. Michael peeked around Reese to the shorter, face beet red and eyes wide at being caught. He gave a few unintelligible sounds in response before looking to the SQUIP for aid. Reese grinned deviously and Michael immediately regretted turning to them. Before he could react the SQUIP gave him a big kiss on the cheek while simultaneously flipping Rich off. The shorter teen immediately started shouting profanities, charging at the SQUIP and only being held back by Kert as Reese quickly hopped onto the now arrived bus, Ari close behind. “Don't run you fucker!” Rich cursed as he tried to wiggle out of his computer’s hold.

“Be good,” Kert warned as they spun their human to the side before dashing onto the bus themselves. They managed to convince the driver to close the doors behind them before Rich could get on much to the shorter’s annoyance.

“I’m going to fucking kick your ass when you get back, Neo!” the teen shouted through the glass. Reese just stuck their tongue out in response, clearly enjoying their victory. Rich huffed angrily and flipped them off as the bus pulled away from the stop. As it did the rest of the teens took the opportunity to wave ‘goodbye’, the gesture only reciprocated by Ari.

Then they were gone.

Silence surrounded them once more as they watched the bus disappear down the road. They then awkwardly looked to one another. “So, not _currently_  dating, huh?” Chloe brought up with a devious grin. Michael flushed red, desperately wanting to hide his face in his hood at that moment.

“I'll kill that fucker,” Rich growled, punching his hand menacingly as he glared after the bus. Chloe scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

“Hypocrite.”

“Kert's different!”

“No he’s not.”

“Yes they are!”

“No he’s-”

“How long has it been, Michael?” Christine asked curiously, cutting the other two off. Michael awkwardly stuffed his hands in his pockets as he glanced away.

“Uh…Friday.” Chloe whistled.

“I bet that hottie’s good in bed,” she commented lewdly. Michael sputtered loudly, face darkening.

“Chloe!” Christine interjected, her voice almost embarrassed.

“And he's a SQUIP too. Probably knows a _lot_  of crazy shit,” Chloe continued with a suggestive wink.

“Stop it!”

“I'll kill that fucker,” Rich repeated, this time a growl.

“We didn't-" Michael tried but his voice got lost in his throat. Chloe waved him off dismissively.

“Yeah, yeah, _sure_  you didn't,” she said with another wink, much to the boy's annoyance. He sighed and Christine patted his arm in comfort.

“Hey, I'm happy for you,” she encouraged with a smile.

“Christine!” Rich exclaimed in disbelief.

“What? They're cute together!” the girl cooed much to Michael’s embarrassment, “And as long as they're happy and don't hurt each other, it's okay!”

“Jeremy's gonna kill you,” Rich huffed, looking at the boy seriously. Michael stiffened before shifting awkwardly under the teen's gaze, guilt filling his stomach.

“Don't tell him…okay?”

“Michael,” Christine named with furrowed brows.

“Not yet,” he clarified, “He just agreed to helping us and I don't want to freak him out more.”

“He'll be mad that he’s the last to know,” Chloe pointed out.

“He's not the last…”

“Not the point.”

“I'll tell him, promise…but after Reese gets back.”

“Good, Jeremy could tag team with me on our beat up,” Rich agreed with a grin.

“Please don't,” Michael groaned.

“I'll join,” Chloe added.

“Chloe!” Christine chastised.

“What? That idiot's gotta know he can't just fuck around with our boy.”

“Yeah!” Rich cheered. Michael sighed again. He was gonna kick Reese’s ass himself for outing them like that.

~oOo~

So the week started.

Monday was hard…harder than he ever thought it would be. He couldn't stop thinking about Reese all day. Where were they now? What were they doing? Are they okay? It had only been a few hours since he left them, so they were probably fine. But their absence ate at him. He had no one to call at lunch, or any other time in his day. His fingers kept curling around his phone, even once bringing it out to call before stopping. There would be no one to answer it…

Monday night was even worse. It was silent…too quiet for any comfort. Reese didn't always talk when they were there but they were always _watching_. Their presence could always be felt even in different rooms, it’s been that way since the beginning. He used to hate sleeping knowing they were across the hall from him. Now…Now it felt empty. Insecure, almost. It didn't feel safe or comfortable without them there. There was nothing. He wondered where they were sleeping, if they were comfortable or thinking of him. It only hurt more thinking of the distance, but his mind refused to leave it all night.

He didn't sleep.

Tuesday came and there was no one to greet him that morning. Reese was always the first one up…So, Michael ate alone. School was hard to get through. He was beyond tired and he couldn't focus on anything around him. He had to try acting natural and pass off any of his distress as lack of sleep - which was partially true - but it was obvious it was more than that. The group had more awkward silences in conversations too, all wanting to talk about the SQUIPs but unable to. They managed to have some small conversations about it, but that was it. It was clear that talking about the computers was rubbing salt into open wounds, and endangering the operation, so they stopped.

Rich wasn't taking the absence well either. He seemed fine on Monday, but Tuesday…it was obvious he didn't sleep too. Later that night Michael got a call from the teen. There was no reason behind it, Rich just wanted someone to talk to, and Michael felt the same. They ended up talking for three hours.

Night came again and sleep refused to come. Michael decided to try playing video games until he was tired. He managed to drift off for a half-hour…dreaming Reese was there beside him playing too. It felt real, like Reese leaving was the dream and this was the reality. But he accidentally woke himself and…Reese wasn't there. He could still feel a weight on his shoulder where the SQUIP would have laid their head, but there was nothing now but air. He stared at the spot for a long time. Michael didn’t even realize he wasn’t breathing until his head bobbed as he bordered unconsciousness. Shaking his head until he was awake he turned back to his game, his eyes burning at the tears that threatened to fall.

He played until the sun rose in the sky.

Wednesday was an absolute mess. Michael fell asleep in class which got him sent to the office. He had tried calling Reese twice, actually successfully getting to his voice mail before realizing no one was there - and this was all before lunch! He was a train-wreck. It was at that point he decided he needed to spend his lunch at the 7/11 alone and try to regroup himself. On the bright side, he - at the very least - managed to sleep for ten minutes in his car without interruption, which was the smallest of reliefs. The teen knew at this rate he wouldn't make it through the week, he was already running on fumes. Thinking back he couldn't even remember if he had a full meal since Reese left. Not because he didn't try, but his appetite was practically nonexistent. He knew that tonight needed to be better. He needed to eat, sleep, and plan. One thing he refused to do is let Reese down, or let the SQUIP see him on Saturday looking like an absolute mess. They were probably fairing well without him and looked fantastic, they'll question what the hell happened to him. He needed to pull it together.

Luckily for him Wednesday night wasn't so awful.

When Michael entered his home that night he was greeted by familiar faces. “Michael!” his mom screamed as he opened the door. He barely had any time to register the blonde in front of him as she pulled him into a tight hug.

“Mom!” he named surprised, his arms instinctively returning the embrace.

“We're back,” his other mother proclaimed as she walked to the front entrance from the kitchen, a huge smile on her face. Michael smiled back, eyes watering as he squeezed his mom a little tighter.

“Why didn't you say?”

“I just got the ‘okay' from work today!” his mom answered as she pulled back to look him in the eyes, keeping her hands on his shoulders, “I'm sorry we took so long, baby!”

“It's okay,” he mumbled.

“No, it's not! But it's okay, cause we're not leaving again until you move out, _right honey?_ ” she said the last part to her wife, almost daring her to contradict. His mother nodded in agreement, pulling the boy into a side hug.

“Yep. Gotta stay and take care of our baby and meet his boy.”

“Yes!” his mom cheered, clapping her hands together, “Oh, I'm so happy sweetie! When do we get to meet him?”

“Not yet,” Michael quickly dismissed with a wave of his hands, “I-It’s too soon…We've only gone on one date.”

“Well, we could always say ‘hi' when he comes to pick you up for dates,” his mother suggested with a wink.

“Huh? He picks _you_  up? You have a car, honey,” his mom pointed out with furrowed brows.

“I know, and _no_  they don't pick me up. We meet up,” Michael corrected, resisting the urge to yawn.

“Aww, that's a shame. I was hoping to scare him by opening the door with a shot gun. That'd test his character,” his mother pouted playfully before grinning, earning an eye roll from her wife. Michael chuckled awkwardly.

“Doubt that'd scare them,” he mumbled offhandedly.

“Well, we're really happy for you! I want to hear all about it!” his mom exclaimed before letting her face drop, “But first, why does my baby look like garbage?”

“Mom!” Michael whined, rubbing at his eye and nearly knocking off his glasses.

“What's wrong, Michael,” his mother insisted, brushing his hair back.

“Nothing,” he lied, “I just can't sleep…”

“Why not? How long? Can't or won't?” his mom listed worriedly.

“Can't, and uh…I just can't. It's been a couple days.”

“That's not good,” his mother frowned, “We need to fix that.”

“But first: dinner! You look dead,” his mom commented again as she walked towards the kitchen. Michael let out a small chuckle as he followed after.

~oOo~

A proper meal and the right company was more than what he needed. Michael finally felt like he could relax - or as much as he was going to - and even ate a full meal. When talking to his mothers he had to paraphrase a lot of what he'd done in their absence, but they were happy to hear his stories. He especially had to edit his story about Reese. He was trying not to lie to them so he wouldn't have to remember it later, but it was difficult. Luckily they bought his story.

Tonight was a good night.

After dinner his mother went to unpack their bags while he and his mom did the dishes. He didn't really mind, a distraction’s a distraction. They did the chore in silence, and once they were done his mom turned to him. “Hey, I need to talk to you about something,” she said sort of seriously, though a small smile remained on her face. Michael frowned but nodded. She motioned to the table and he sat down with her. The woman let out a small sigh as she twirled her blond hair between her fingers, thinking over her words. She then spoke, “I need to ask you about something, and whatever answer you give me I'll believe because you are my son and I love you.” Michael's eyes widened slightly as his heart beat picked up.

“Okay,” he said slowly. His mom took in a deep breath before locking eyes with him.

“Do you know what a SQUIP is?”

Silence.

Michael couldn't breathe. All he could do was stare as he tried to process everything screaming in his head, but he couldn't. How could she…

Before he could even think of an answer his mouth spoke for him, “A script?” His mom let out a breath of relief as she smiled at him.

“No,” she chuckled, “A SQUIP, though I think you answered my question.” Michael tried to swallow the lump in his throat as guilt settled in. He lied to his mom. He had no way of knowing if she was asking because she had something to do with this or if she heard about SQUIPs and was genuinely curious. Either way he didn't want to lie, but…this was not a game to take chances with.

“Why?” he pressed, forcing his quiet voice out. His mom waved a hand at him dismissively.

“Oh, it's nothing to worry about. If you ever hear about one or if someone asks you if you want one the answer is ‘ _ _no'__ , okay?” He nodded numbly. His mom then leaned over and kissed his forehead, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he whispered weakly. His mom smiled brightly, ruffling his hair, before leaving to help her wife unpack. Michael was left alone to his thoughts. It could be nothing. His mom could be asking out of curiosity, but…the timing was suspicious. He needed to know for sure if it was coincidence or not, that'd be the first thing Reese would tell him to do. But how to ask without causing suspicion…

The teen stood and headed to the basement. Unfortunately he had more than his mom to plan for…tomorrow was a big day. It was when they were going to steal the SQUIPs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next time on Replaced: Michael goes on a mission!


	30. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “…This is super crazy.”  
> “I know.”  
> “I mean, stealing SQUIPs.”  
> “Yep.”  
> “We're gonna get caught.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what happened to me last week? Well, life did. Last week was a rollercoaster of events. I was trapped in an elevator, I had two different allergic reactions (not severe ones, no worries), it was the last week of our show so our schedule got doubled up...a lot going on. Though I now feel comfortably caught up, I do have to warn that there may be irregular updates on this story from now until January. I feel good now, but you never know what'll happen, so prepare for that and don't panic. I also decided, though it was short lived, I'm going to postpone/put on hiatus the other BMC story I put up. There are many reasons why. I was already nervous putting it up since it's not really my story. Replaced is my story, and I want to make sure it's getting my full attention. I'm sorry I announced the other one when I wasn't fully happy with it. But at least that means I won't be distracted from Replaced anymore. So I hope everyone's happy with that.
> 
> So, let's get back to Replaced, shall we? Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“Are you _sure_?”

“Yes, I'm sure.”

“There's really no rush! We could wait!”

“We can't wait, Jeremy.”

“But-"

“I’m not taking a nap!” Michael snapped, huffing as he pulled his car's gear shift into ‘park'. Jeremy pouted at his response, slumping against his seat hopelessly. Any chance the taller got that day to nag his friend about sleep, he did. How the shorter tolerated it this long he’d never know. Michael sighed, running a hand over his face. He had to admit he _did_ feel like garbage, but he didn't need to be reminded of it, not now.

“But you look terrible,” Jeremy protested, a concerned frown on his face.

“I slept a couple hours last night, okay? I'm fine,” the shorter insisted, rubbing at his eyes despite his words. His friend sighed.

“Did my SQUIP fuck you up that bad?” he asked, his voice laced with bitterness but still filled with genuine concern. Michael let out a long breath.

“It's just…different without them,” he confessed, “Quiet…” Jeremy pressed his lips together, his blue eyes shifting to the dashboard as he stared at it distantly.

“I know,” he mumbled, really sounding like he understood, “I just…I'm worried.”

“I know.”

“Maybe…Maybe you could come over tonight? You _always_ sleep when you’re over.” Michael cracked a smile, gratitude in his eyes.

“Thanks, but I can't. I really need to talk to my mom,” he rejected apologetically. Jeremy nodded slightly, though his friend’s answer didn't lessen his worry.

“Are you gonna ask about the SQUIPs?”

“Yeah…”

“…You don't think she _knows_ , do you?”

“About Reese living with us? No. About Reese escaping? Maybe…It's just…It's too coincidental! My mom’s been held up all this time at work – which has always been sketchy! I just thought, you know, she worked for the government or something. And only when Reese leaves is it okay for my mom to come home? And the first thing she asks is about SQUIPs?”

“Yeah, that's freaky,” Jeremy agreed, “But your mom's so nice! She can't…she wouldn't…She’d never hurt anyone, right?”

“No…But nice people turn good people in all the time…” Michael answered quietly, running a hand through his hair, “I dunno…It's not like she asked about someone who looks like Reese. Maybe she just heard about SQUIPs.”

“You don't think she knows about the SQUIPs being human thing?”

“I mean…Reese thinks it's just the one place doing it, so maybe?”

“Wha - only one place? Then what the heck are the other SQUIP people doing, then?”

“I dunno. Actually doing something nice with their lives? Making real AI?”

“…Yeah, I'd be cooler if SQUIPs were assholes because they were programmed that way,” Jeremy agreed, “And not, you know, kidnapped people. Nice if they weren't dicks too.”

“Reese is working on it,” Michael dismissed with a wave of his hand. His friend sighed but didn't say anything more on the subject. Instead he turned his eyes to the mall.

“…This is super crazy.”

“I know.”

“I mean, _stealing SQUIPs_.”

“Yep.”

“We're gonna get caught.”

“Nah, we've played enough video games. We’ve got this.” Jeremy gawked at him.

“It's not the same!”

“I'm pretending it is.”

“Why aren't you worried?”

“Dude, I'm _way_ too tired to be worried,” Michael yawned, stretching his arms up above his head. The taller let out a long breath with a shake of his head, patting his friend's shoulder in comfort.

“Can you do this?” he questioned.

“Sure. Besides, I can't tell Reese I did nothing.”

“You don't need to impress him.”

“I'm not.”

“Trust me, he'll never praise you for good work. He's _that_ much of an ass,” Jeremy warned with a small huff. Michael blinked.

“What are you talking about? They praise me.”

“…What?”

“Reese, they compliment me. That's why they wanted me to do this, they know I can,” he answered, “I'm the guy who kicks SQUIP ass, remember? What can't I do?”

“A lot of things,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Glad you agree,” Michael continued, pretending he didn’t hear the comment, “Anyways, we should get moving. Rich is probably freaking out inside.”

“Yeah, probably.” Without another word the two boys exited the car. They were relatively quiet as they started walking, making their way across the parking lot and through the mall’s entrance towards the Payless. To help make their trip seem more natural to any onlookers, they made sure to stop at one of the vendors for smoothies before sitting on a bench decently close to the shop. Now in position, the two eyed the store in wait.

“You think he's okay?” Jeremy asked nervously, not moving his eyes for a second to look at his friend.

“I hope so,” Michael mumbled, sipping on his drink.

“Michael,” the boy forced himself to turn to the shorter, “That guy's gonna be working there and he's gonna recognize me.”

“You don't know that,” Michael argued, “And that’s why you have this.” The teen leaned flipped the taller’s hood over his head. Jeremy looked at him incredulously.

“That’s not nearly enough! And we're terrible actors, Michael! He'll know we're up to something!”

“You need to calm down.”

“You need to panic!”

“Jeremy, you're my best friend, and that means I'm not scared to smack you if you keep freaking out,” the shorter warned, laying his head back against the bench and closing his eyes.

“I'm allowed to freak out, Michael. I’m terrified,” Jeremy confessed, eyes frightened. Michael let out a long breath as he opened his eyes so they were half-lidded, looking at his friend.

“I know, but you got this. You're in play rehearsals!”

“Yeah, but I suck at acting without my SQU-"

_Hiss_.

The boy jumped surprised at the loud noise emitted by his friend. “Did you _seriously_ never call them by _anything_ else?!” Michael snapped annoyed. When Jeremy hesitated he continued, “You can call them Neo now, if you want. Just _stop_ calling them _that_!”

“I never called him that, though…” the taller mumbled, scratching his cheek as a distraction.

“Yeah, well apparently you never called them anything cause you always had their ‘undivided attention'," the shorter quoted bitterly. Jeremy was quiet.

“…I feel bad now.”

“Why?”

“I never gave him a name – I didn't know I was supposed to!” Michael sighed.

“You didn't have to. Honestly, they probably don’t care, but you gotta call them something else. You know, there's nothing wrong with calling them _Reese_ ,” he pointed out. Jeremy bit his lip as he rolled the idea over in his mind.

“Reese…”

“There you go.”

“…It just doesn't feel right,” the teen lamented. Michael furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“He didn't have a name, but…he was still – uh… _ _you know__ _ _,__ to me. That's his name…but that's what he is too, so, I guess it's weird calling him that…and you’ll keep getting mad at me if I do, so…”

“There are ears everywhere, man,” Michael defended, “You never know where these guys are.” Jeremy nodded lightly as he rubbed at his arm nervously, eyes glancing around as though someone might appear. His friend sighed, looking around too, “I can't tell you what to call them, Jer. You're the boss and they'll take your side. So call them what you want, just don't say __that__  out loud, okay?” The taller scoffed to his surprise.

“Sounds like he likes __you__ more. Complimenting, being nice…he probably hates me.” Michael snorted.

“Believe me, Jer, I don't think they’ve ever talked higher about someone than you,” he corrected sincerely, “They care about you more than…Well, they’d risk __everything__  for you. All they wanted was to get back to you for so long. You were all that mattered.  If it wasn't safer for them with me then they would have ran back to you in a heart beat. And honestly…after the day they – uh…hurt you, it fucked them up, Jer. They never wanted that to happen.”

“Didn't stop them before,” Jeremy grumbled bitterly, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

“I know,” Michael sighed, “They were a dick, I can’t argue that. It’s just…I swear, one way or another, I’m gonna make you see them for real.” The taller looked at him.

“…Michael, why do you call him a they? I know he’s a…you know, but he's still a he,” he pointed out, brows furrowed. Michael froze as his eyes widened comedically, staring at the other like a deer in headlights.

“Uh…” he sounded, his mind racing for an answer.

“…Did you not know that?”

“It's more…uh…you know, Reese doesn't mind being called either one, so…”

“Oh…really?” Jeremy asked surprised. Michael let his body relax as he spoke.

“Uh, yeah. Very lenient.”

“Oh…cool.” The teen bit his lip as he debated on telling his friend the truth, but in doing so he would be going against Reese's rule on Jeremy being the exception. He sighed heavily, slumping further in to the bench. Letting the topic go he instead turned his brown eyes to watch his friend distantly. It was interesting, now that he was with Reese he was looking at the SQUIP's relationship with his best friend differently. It didn't matter what Jeremy did - he could try to deactivate them, but Reese would always be there waiting to help. But if _Michael_ fucked up…it'd be unfair to ask Reese to treat him the same as Jeremy. Honestly, if he _did_ hurt them he shouldn't be so easily forgiven. But, at the same time, he wished he could occupy their mind in the same way.

The teen's attention was pulled from his thoughts when a familiar figure exited the Payless. Rich, appearing as normal as ever, had a shoe box tucked under his arm as he waltzed out the door. Looking around the mall his eyes locked on them, and trying to remain casual he made a detoured path over to their bench.

“Rich,” Jeremy greeted in relief when the boy finally arrived, “Are you okay?”

“Dead inside, but rocking the outside,” the shorter answered with a grin, showcasing the shoe box in front of them. Michael sat up straight, eyes glued to the cardboard.

“Is that…them?”

“Yeah. I told him that I needed more and he said he only had the one box left, but I convinced him to give me a few.”

“Did you see where he put the box?”

“Yeah, in the back. All the boxes look the same, but there's only one with Tic Tacs.”

“They're gonna know it's us,” Jeremy whispered terrified, his body starting to shake with nerves.

“Good, I wanna kick their ass,” Rich grumbled, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. Michael looked at the shorter sympathetically before turning to his best friend.

“The faster we deal with this the safer we'll be,” he reasoned, putting a hand on the taller’s back. Jeremy nodded his head numbly, but he was far from convinced.

“You ready, Tall-Ass?” Rich grinned.

“No!” the taller cried, sliding down his seat further. Michael rubbed his shoulder soothingly.

“You can do it.”

“It's such a small store!”

“You got this, Jer,” his friend encouraged with a smile, “Just pretend you can do it, and you can.” Jeremy let out a shuttered breath but didn’t argue further.

He took a moment to himself to gather his courage before reluctantly standing. Not even offering a goodbye to his friends the teen slowly moved towards the Payless. Jeremy tried to focus on his breathing, but as he drew closer it felt hopeless. He could never be ready for this. Never. Biting the inside of his cheek the boy pulled out his phone, pretending to send a text as he entered the store. Keeping to himself he looked through the selection, purposefully standing by the back door in preparation. He gulped as he felt his heart pounding so hard he thought the others in the store might hear as he waited. A minute - or an eternity - later, Michael walked into the store. Without looking at anything the teen immediately approached the employee working there and forced their help. Jeremy listened, and waited for his friend to pull them into the next aisle.

Success.

All that was left was the cashier. The boy glanced through the corner of his eye towards the desk. Behind the counter was a familiar face. His heart froze.

It was the guy who sold him his SQUIP.

Jeremy burrowed further into his sweater as he tried desperately to not draw attention to himself. If this guy recognized him he’d be screwed. He focused his eyes on the shoes instead, trying to linger on each of the price tags to make it appear as though he was looking through the items. He waited…and soon Rich joined.

The shortest teen strolled right up to the counter, shoebox still in hand, and began conversing. “Dude, I forgot to ask! Did anything change? Do they still active the same? Is the price the same? Are there updates?” he listed, continuing on without giving the guy time to speak. With both employees completely distracted Jeremy took the opportunity to quickly slip into the back room.

The teen’s heart was hammering in his chest, his body trembling, as he looked around. There were so many shoe boxes! This shouldn't have surprised him, but when you're looking for a specific shoe box…He looked at him phone. Rich had texted him instructions. Reading the brand he looked for that first. He found it relatively fast.

“Okay,” he whispered to himself, gulping at the fact that the brand took up a whole section of shelving. He took in a shuttered breath as he then narrowed down his selection to the type of shoe. He found it. It had at least five columns of boxes. Then he went by colour and size. He was down to ten boxes. In theory it wouldn’t take long to search through them all, but he couldn't exactly peak through each lid when they were stacked on top of each other. He also doubted that Rich and Michael could stall forever.

Then he heard a voice, “I'll check the back.”

“Wait!” Michael's voice followed as the door to the back started to open. Jeremy froze, his eyes blowing wide as he just stood there in the middle of the room. It felt like he was in a paralysis, too frozen in fear to hide as a crease of light spooled in. This was it…

“HEY!” another voice shouted from the other side, pausing the action. It was a girl's voice, a familiar one too. The door paused before closing shut as a verbal fight seemed to break out in the store. Jeremy stared at the door for far long than he should have, his brain trying to comprehend that he was no longer in danger…and then it kicked into overdrive.

He needed to find the SQUIP's _now_.

Looking over the boxes the teen started on the left. His fingers stumbled with each lid as he tried to avoid pulling the box fully out, using his phone’s light to peak inside just long enough to see if there were shoes inhabiting them. His arms shook as he continued to search, trying desperately to leave the boxes as he found them. But as time ticked by his eyes kept finding their way to the door, afraid it might open. However, to his relief, the fight outside seemed to carry on, and eventually bought him enough time to find them.

Jeremy could barely recognized the little Grey pills when he opened the lid, but they definitely weren't shoes. He stared at them for a moment, barely registering what was before him, before a huge smile spread across his face and relief washed over him.

He found them.

Grabbing the box firmly in his hands he quickly raced to the door. Cracking it open just a slice to see the commotion outside his eyes widened in surprise. Christine was there, and she was arguing with the employees. “This is just unacceptable! No – No! I want to speak to your manager,” she insisted with a huff, crossing her arms irritably. Michael tried reasoning with her - or fake reasoning - while simultaneously making comments to the workers to stay in the room to deal with the situation. Rich was sitting on the cash counter, watching the girl amused as he talked to the SQUIP guy.

“Girls, am I right?” he grinned while pointing to Christine with his thumb. The SQUIP guy nodded with a chuckle, his attention fully on the fight before them. Jeremy couldn’t have seen a better opportunity. Quickly slipping out of the room and into an unseen aisles, Jeremy paused to try and keep his legs stable enough to support himself. Gaining some composure he tucked the shoe box into his sweater as best as he could and walked out of the store. He didn’t think his legs ever moved so fast to get him out of a situation before, but soon enough he was far past the bench he and Michael had been sitting on and well on his way to the parking lot.

Jeremy waited until he was out of the mall to send a text to his best friend.

_I'm out._

~oOo~

“Holy shit, we did it!” Rich cheered as he followed his friends to the parking lot. Approaching the PT Cruiser, Jeremy only groaned in response from where he leaned over the car's hood, the shoebox resting beside him.

“You okay?” Michael asked sympathetically, patting his friend on the back.

“That was terrifying,” the teen moaned, his body still shaking from the adrenaline. Christine giggled from beside Rich.

“That was fun!”

“Yeah! But, why are you here?” the boy next to her questioned while crossing his arms.

“Oh! I work part time at the Spencer's Gifts and I saw you on my way out! You said you were trying to get the SQUIPs yesterday and when I saw Michael being really social for once I thought that's what you were doing!” the girl explained with a bright smile. Rich whistled.

“Girl, how have we never dated?”

“She's out of your league,” Michael answered flatly to the other’s surprise. Rich sputtered loudly as the girl giggled.

“Ouch!”

“Aww, Mikey!” Christine cooed as she hugged the boy from the side. Jeremy opened his mouth to comment, to continue the teasing by questioning how he ever got lucky enough to be with her, but froze. He knew the answer…the SQUIP. The computer got him Christine…and since it disappeared things have been going shakily ever since. Jeremy looked away as the feeling of fear that always gripped at him when the thought of Christine leaving resurfaced. Was he really good enough for her without his SQUIP?

“Jer!” Rich called, pulling him out of his daze, “You good, man?” Jeremy sputtered for a moment before finding his voice.

“Y-Yeah,” he lied.

“Hey, take a breather. You deserve it,” Michael encouraged and his friend nodded gratefully. Taking the shoebox away, Michael opened it. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of the pills inside.

“Fuck,” he cursed. Rich nodded, his lips pressed tight as he opened his own box.

“That's a lot of SQUIPs,” he agreed.

“…That's a lot of _people_ ,” the taller corrected morbidly. They were all quiet as Christine furrowed her brows.

“Wait, they're not _all_ humans…right?” she questioned, her voice starting to peak in fear. Michael and Jeremy exchanged a knowing look and Rich stared at the pills hard, answering her question. She gasped.

“Oh my God!”

“That's why we're doing this, Chris,” Michael quickly interjected before she could freak out more, “We're gonna save them"

“How?!”

“…Still working on that.” Christine made an unintelligible sound.

“I thought we were just saving our friend's SQUIPs or exposing the mean people! I didn’t know we were saving a small state of - of - of Terminators!”

“Welcome to the club,” Rich grumbled, poking at the pills in his box.

“How are we gonna do this?” she asked concerned, turning her full attention to Michael.

“I've been asking the same thing,” Jeremy agreed.

“We’re gonna take it one step at a time…I guess,” Michael answered uncertainly, “I mean, we just stole their computers! That’s something. So…maybe we _can_ do this.”

“Yeah. Just add a Mountain Dew Red bucket prank on their building and tada! We win,” Rich grinned, wrapping an arm around Michael's shoulders in a teasing half-hug. Michael’s face lit up.

“Wait a sec,” he sounded, looking at Christine, “You're working at Spencer's?”

“Oh, uh - yeah! Saving up, you know?” she answered as enthusiastically as she could.

“Do you know about the vintage stuff they sell at the back?”

“Yeah, Johnny works there.”

“Will he give you a deal? Or help us out?” Michael pressed, giving her a knowing look. Christine blinked as she thought it over.

“Yeah, I think so. Why?” The devious grin on Michael’s face sent shivers racing down Jeremy’s spine in sick recognition.

“Reese wants us to control as many variables as we can, right? We have the SQUIPs, so let's do Mountain Dew Red next.”

~oOo~

“There's so many flavours!” Rich exclaimed as he looked at all the different Mountain Dew flavours in the back of the Spencer's. “Do you think they do stuff too?”

“Maybe,” Jeremy mumbled as he looked through himself. As they looked around Christine and Michael stayed with the employee – Johnny, as he typed on the computer's database.

“You know, this stuff isn't easy to get, Michael,” he informed, eyes not shifting from the screen, “And it's technically expired.”

“Never stopped me before,” Michael retorted with a playful grin. Johnny laughed.

“True.”

“So how much is left?” Christine asked while peaking over her coworker's shoulder.

“Not that much. It'd take a while to get it all shipped here too.”

“Is it possible to put it on hold?” Michael asked. Johnny frowned, looking at him confused.

“What?”

“You know, on hold. Reserve it for us so no one else can buy it.”

“What, like a case? A bottle?”

“Everything.”

“ _Everything_?” he exclaimed, “Dude, you don’t have that kinda money!…Do you?”

“Do I have to buy it to reserve it?” Michael asked, his heart dropping at the anticipated answer.

“I mean…I can't guarantee it to you otherwise,” Johnny replied apologetically. Christine sighed disappointed as the teens all looked at each other.

“Should we really be doing this?” Rich asked uncertainly.

“If we have it all they can't use it against us,” Michael answered, eyes lost in thought as he tried to think of a possible solution.

“That doesn't mean they don't have any already, or can't get it somewhere else. Or make it themselves!”

“It was discontinued for a reason,” Jeremy pointed out, “They didn't _want_ to be stopped. They might not have any.”

“And if we can even make it a little bit harder for them then we should,” Christine agreed, though her face wasn’t filled with confidence.

“But how?” Rich whined, “We don't have the money.”

“…Between us we might,” Michael suggested slowly. Before the shorter teen could retort Christine spoke up.

“ _Or_ w _e_ can pay in increments!” she exclaimed, her eyes shining bright at the idea, “Between all of us so it's still cheaper! Then we can still cancel our order at any time, right? All we have to do is make a deposit and then ask for it to be delivered in like four months from now and then we cancel it after we’re done doing our thing! Right?”

“Yeah, Christine!” Rich cheered, high fiving her excitedly.

“Except you just told him our plan,” Jeremy sighed, motioning to Johnny in defeat. The employee blinked at him before waving a hand dismissively.

“I heard nothing,” he denied with a grin. The group all smiled back as the plan was set in motion. Together the cost for reserving the drinks was significantly better than they'd hoped for. They left with their receipt for their order as well as a line up of various other Mountain Dew flavors to test if they have any effect on SQUIPs too. One in particular, Mountain Dew Code Red, was of intense interest.

On their way out Michael’s eye was caught by an item in the clearance section. Not wanting to explain what he saw, he excused himself from the group and investigated the box. Realizing it was just what he thought it was a bright smile spread across his lips, and he went to buy it.

He couldn't wait to show Reese what he found.

~oOo~

“Hey, mom?” the boy called as he sat down in one of the kitchen table’s chairs. His mom hummed in response, her eyes not moving from the meat she was frying for a second. “…Why did you ask me about the – uh…the __script__  thing yesterday?” He didn’t know what he expected, but her freezing took him by surprise. Slowly she turned to face him.

“It's nothing, sweetie. Just asking,” she dismissed with an awkward smile. Michael tried to put a curious expression on his face as he continued.

“Do _you_ know what it is?”

“I wouldn't have asked otherwise, but don't worry! You're okay.” The teen felt guilt pile up in his stomach. He really __wasn’t__  okay, but he couldn't tell her that.

“Are they drugs?” he pressed.

“ _ _No__. Stop worrying _ _.__ ”

“How'd you hear about it, then?” She sighed, setting her spatula down.

“It just has something to do with my work, okay? Now leave it be,” she insisted firmly, giving a small warning look as well. Michael stayed quiet. So he was right, his mother  _did_ have something to do with this. But how was that possible? If he told her the truth, would she hurt him? Would she hurt Reese? Would she turn Reese in? Could she help them? Did…Did __she__  have a SQUIP? That thought alone terrified him. No, no she couldn't have. Reese was here for a week when his parents were home and they never felt anything. Do she couldn't have a SQUIP…right? Reese also said the rest of the company didn't know about what was happening, so maybe his mom really _could_ be good, but…he really shouldn’t risk it.

“Mom?” he called weakly. She sighed.

“Is this another question about the _scripts_?” Michael paused.

“…Are they…like, ground me bad? Or disown me bad?” he asked slowly, hoping to get a better grasp on where she stood. His mom’s eyes turned sad as she finally walked away from the stove and towards him. Gently she placed her hands on his shoulders.

“Michael Mell, I would _never_ disown you. You are my baby and I love you more than anything in this world,” she said firmly, shaking him lightly in confirmation. He smiled weakly.

“No matter what?”

“No matter what. I wouldn't be mad at you if you had a…I'd just…” she let out a long sigh, “I hope you never need one. Especially since right now they're…uh, not really on the market. For a good reason! So…no, I wouldn't ground you…unless you did something actually bad, okay?” Michael nodded his head lightly, feeling much better that he asked.

“Would you care if my friend's had it?”

“Do they?”

“I'm just asking.” His mom sighed again.

“I'd care. Like I said, it's not on the market. But I wouldn't ground them either,” she said, the last part coming out a tease. Michael chuckled.

“You can't ground my friends.”

“That's what _you_ think.” They giggled together. His mom then kissed the top of his head before going back over to the stove.

“Love you, Wii.” Michael rolled his eyes at the nickname.

“Love you too, Turbo.”

“Any love for the Atari over here?” his mother's voice called from another room. How long has she been eaves dropping? His mom giggled.

“Love you too, honey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fun fact: Michael saying 'Script' is a quote from the book! Now you know :) (also the nicknames at the end, for all who are not video game people, are references to different gaming systems. Turbo Graphics and the Atari are both old systems)


	31. I'm Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten minutes. Ten minutes until Reese would call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ave Mariiiiiiiia~
> 
> I'M ALIVE! Ahhhh, I'm so sorry! This chapter has been trying to eat me alive for two weeks! It's soooo long with so much descriptive paragraphs and little talking. Ugh, took forever! That and I wasn't lying when I said I'd be busy until January. Man has December got booked up like no one's business! I'm sorry for the long wait, but I'm so proud of you all for staying mostly calm this time and understanding! You guys really are the best. I hope this chapter was worth the wait, cause it took forever!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael stared at the clock in front of him.

_11:50 PM_

Ten minutes. Ten minutes until Reese would call. The teen had been waiting anxiously all day for this moment, every minute dragging into excruciatingly long hours. It got to the point where he couldn't sit still at dinner, his moms both showing extreme concern for his health when he became too distracted to hold a conversation. He was able to pass it off as lack of sleep – which wasn't a lie – but they weren't convinced, insisting on sending him to a clinic for his insomnia. The teen had to promise he'd catch up on sleep that night or he was going to be dragged to the doctor. Luckily it was something he could easily agree to. With Reese finally home he'd be able to sleep soundly. Unless…

No. No unless. He couldn't think like that. Reese would call. They promised to.

Michael curled his knees up to his chest, resting them lightly against the steering wheel as he tried to relax in his seat. He had picked Rich up minutes ago in his car, and now they were both waiting for the fated phone call to arrive.

“Fuck, just call already!” Rich snapped, glaring at where Michael's phone sat in the cup holder impatiently. Michael sighed, slumping slightly as he let out the long breath.

“I think I'm going to literally die,” he agreed.

“Those assholes are just milking it, I know it,” Rich growled, huffing as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest. The taller didn't answer. Leaning his head against the window pane Michael stared up at the stars above. A part of him was disappointed to see how faded they were in the suburban street light, and it made him appreciate the hill Reese shared with him even more. He sighed, his heart aching in memory, but also in wonder. Was Reese looking up at the stars too?

“…Rich?” he called quietly.

“What?”

“What do we do if…they're not okay?” Rich’s eyes snapped to him, fear and anxiety clearly shining in his irises, before he tried hiding it with a scoff.

“We kick SQUIP ass,” he answered matter-of-factually.

“How? Have you _seen_  Kert's drawings of that place? They're _way_  too complicated!”

“That idiot better have drawn a table of contents on it before they left.”

“…You mean a legend?”

“...Shut up!” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Not to mention it doesn’t have an address either,” he pointed out, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. Rich groaned, running his hands over his face in disbelief.

“That idiot leaves a detailed map with no fucking instructions?! What a fucking SQUIP!” Michael let out a small laugh. It wasn't exactly the time to be joking about a serious problem but he couldn't help but find it hilarious, and so did Rich. The shorter quickly joined in as he shook his head, “Idiot.”

“Hey, do you think Kert went to school for that?” the taller asked.

“For what?”

“I don't know, art? Architecture, maybe?” Rich thought about it for a moment with a frown.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “They could just be awesome at drawing - they're a SQUIP, you know.”

“Yeah, but isn't that muscle memory? Or…no?” Michael pressed. Rich’s lips dipped further, his brows furrowing, before he gave up and threw his hands in the air.

“I don't know! Why does it matter?” The taller shrugged.

“Could be something they're interested in. Reese likes theatre.”

“You mean _ruining_ theatre?” Rich corrected. Michael turned to him.

“Even you have to admit they're extra enough to do it.”

“…Yeah.” Silence fell over them as they set their eyes on the clock again.

_11:55 PM_

“…If Kert _did_ like art…or buildings or whatever…what do I do about it? Buy them paper?” Rich asked, looking away as though embarrassed. Michael glanced at him briefly.

“Uh…You buy them whatever they want. Art's complicated.”

“No shit,” the shorted sighed, running a hand through his hair before smirking at the other, “Oh, have you ever seen their party trick?”

“Party trick?” Michael echoed.

“Yeah! With the ruler!”

“No…”

“Dude, it's so cool! They twirl the ruler around the page and draw random lines. Then its like a city!”

“What?” the taller asked, brows furrowed.

“They make cool pictures! It looks like nothing and then – BOOM! Art!”

“Oh, cool,” Michael agreed, “Where'd they learn that?” Rich shrugged and the taller grinned wide, “You didn’t have them look up party tricks for you to be cool, did you?”

“Wha – Me? Nah, I'm a natural,” the shorter dismissed with a wave of his hand, “Kert just knows stuff – oh wait!” The teen's face lit up in sudden epiphany as he turned to his friend, “Hey, what if _they_ did it at parties when _they_  were human? You know, pre-SQUIP?” Michael blinked surprised as he thought it over.

“Maybe. That'd make sense, right?”

“Yeah…” Michael frowned as his friend's eyes fell to the floor.

“…What?”

“…What if they remember everything…and leave?” Rich asked, his voice only a whisper by the end. The other stared at him, not fully considering the possibility before.

“…I…” he paused, giving himself the extra second to find his words as he thought it over, “I think Kert would rather deactivate then leave you, Rich. Even if they find their family, or whatever, they'll come home to you.”

“…But what if they had a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, you know?” Rich pouted. Michael’s breath hitched. He never thought of that…not even for Reese. His stomach twisted at the thought.

“I mean…that person probably moved on, and Kert likes you now, so…yeah,” he answered, his voice not as confident as he wished it was. Though he was trying to comfort Rich his mind was still stuck on Reese. What if they remember they have another partner? What if they like that person more, then what? What if he’s not good enough for them…not enough to keep them happy? When they start opening up as a human being and see that the world is bigger than his basement, will they still think he’s special? Will they still want to be confined by his side? Should he offer them a chance to explore other people? Or is he being too paranoid rather than considerate?

Rich began shifting in his seat, scratching at his cheek absentmindedly as a blush rose. “You think Kert would choose me?” he asked shyly, his voice hopeful. Michael looked at him bewildered.

“They’re your _SQUIP_.”

“Yeah, but…I mean, I tried to kill them,” the boy mumbled, guilt in his voice.

“I tried to kill Reese,” the taller offered, though he wasn’t sure if he should be flaunting it. Rich nodded numbly but wasn’t fully convinced.

“But we’re not like…I dunno, ‘official’.”

“I thought you were dating.”

“Kinda…I mean, we slept together.” Michael’s nose scrunched up.

“Yeah, Reese told me,” he informed.

“But what if they just did it cause they’re my SQUIP?” Rich continued, sitting cross-legged on his chair so he could fully face the other, “They taught me all that shit. So what if it was just…a thing we do? Like friends with benefits! I used to do that…they told me to, so…what if they’re like that?”

“I don’t think Kert’s like you. No offense,” the taller dismissed, “I mean, I don’t know them but they don’t seem like the ‘fuck ‘em and leave ‘em’ kinda SQUIP.”

“I know, I just…” the shorter sighed, “Kert’s…Kert, you know? They’re different and I feel different with them and I dunno what to do about it. I don’t want to hurt them again.” Michael nodded, understanding completely what the other meant. He felt the same about Reese. He was constantly second guessing his own feelings and Reese’s until they put all the cards on the table. That’s why it was so important that everything was clarified, so no one misunderstood the situation. They were dating, end of story. He guessed Rich and Kert never made that clarification, and were just… _living_  it.

“Ask them out then,” he offered. Rich fidgeted.

“I haven’t seriously dated before. What if I fuck up with them?”

“You weren’t worried about that with Jake?”

“Jake’s different. He’s my best friend, that’s not gonna change. Not even if we fucked around.”

“Kert’s your SQUIP,” Michael defended exasperatedly. Rich rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but…I dunno. If I hurt them again I feel like…that’s __it__ , you know?”

“…I get it, Rich. I really do. But Kert gets you in a way no one else does, and you two can’t stay two feet away from each other. Seriously, it’s crazy how you two revolve around each other. Just ask them out.” The smaller teen thought about it for a moment, still indecisive.

“…I’m gonna talk to Jake about it first, then ask,” he finally conceded.

“You’re going to ask the guy you have a crush on about asking your SQUIP out on a date?” Michael reiterated. Rich paused.

“…Yeah, pretty much,” he agreed, nodding his head. “Besides, my crush for Jake is basically gone cause of Kert! I mean, I still get tingly feelings when I’m around him, but I got Kert at home and I don’t need anything else, right? So, it’s okay.”

“…If you say so,” his friend said slowly, “As long as you like Kert, it’s okay…I think.” Seeing that there wasn’t much more to say on the topic both of their eyes shifted back to the clock.

_12:00 AM_

Silence.

Michael's heart beat picked up as he stared at his phone intensely, Rich beside him doing the same. The quiet was only broken when the shorter teen could take it no longer.

“Oh my God!”

“Rich, calm down!”

“They're fucking dead!”

“No, they're not! J-Just…give them a minute!”

“A minute to what? Die more?!”

“Rich!” Michael exclaimed, eyes watering dangerously as he tried his best to stop his shaking. He couldn't help it…it was 12:01 and nothing could be heard but Rich’s voice.

“Where's the map?!” the smaller demanded as he started rapidly searching every crevice he could reach in the car for the drawings Kert had made. Michael couldn’t find his voice to answer as he stared at the clock distantly.

_12:02 AM_

****RING…** **

Both teens jumped startled, eyes flashing to the phone as its screen lit up. Michael quickly snatched it, whacking Rich’s hands away as he answered the call.

“Reese?!” he named desperately, his voice sounding strained. Rich paused his actions to listen closely, leaning so his head was beside Michael’s. It was silent for a moment, only the sound of their shallow breathing being heard.

“ _Michael_ ,” the familiar voice finally answered. A weak sound escaped Michael's lips as his whole body curled more into itself, Rich’s own relaxing in relief.

“Do you have any fucking idea what time it is?!” he snapped weakly, his voice wavering and filled with worry.

“ _I apologize_ ,” the SQUIP mumbled, their voice quiet. There was a small pause and Michael believed they weren't going to continue, but then they spoke, “ _I had trouble with the numbers _.__ ”

“Numbers? What do you mean? You know my number,” the teen frowned. Another pause.

“ _I apologize._ ”

“…Reese, what's wrong? Are you hurt?” he asked concerned, his panic only growing with each pause the SQUIP took.

“ _I can't…focus,_ ” they confessed. Michael nodded.

“Hang in there. We're already in the car, just tell us where you are,” he insisted, turning said car on. The silence drew on longer than before and the two teens exchanged a look.

“…Reese?”

“ _Mmh_ ,” the computer hummed, “ _Sorry, I…um…_ ” There was another pause before the SQUIP finally gave an address. Rich quickly looked it up on his phone, eyes widening at the results.

“That's two hours away! What the hell - you couldn't have headed __back__  a bit!” he exclaimed. Reese didn't answer.

“We're on our way, okay?” Michael coaxed, trying to sound comforting, “Just stay there. Are Kert and Ari with you?”

“ _Yes _.__ ”

“Okay. We'll be there soon.” The teen then pulled his car out of Rich’s driveway, turning it in the direction the GPS indicated.

“ _Michael_ ,” the SQUIP called quietly. Michael glanced at the phone.

“Yeah?”

“ _Please hurry_.” The teen let out a shuttered breath.

“I promise.” The phone then hung up.

“Did they just hang up on us?! What the fuck!” Rich yelled angrily, throwing his hands in the air.

“They're using a payphone, Rich,” the taller defended.

“I don't care!” Michael sighed, but in truth it freaked him out too. He wanted to stay on the phone with them the whole drive, but he also didn't want to strain Reese too much, not if they're in a weak state.

“Call Jer, let him know where we're going.” Rich nodded roughly, muttering angrily under his breath as he called his friend. Even though Ari was staying at Chloe’s, Christine insisted on being the one to pick her SQUIP up and deliver them safely home. Not wanting to be left out - especially with the pressure to join - Jeremy agreed to come along on the journey. It seemed pointless to have them both come when in the end they’d only be driving Ari back to Chloe’s house, but Michael was hardly in the mood to argue. It wasn’t his place anyways, Ari was Christine’s SQUIP.

As they started their travel the teen was forced to listen to Rich give directions to Jeremy while simultaneously ranting about how stupid Reese was. It was annoying, but he was far too stressed to intervene. His mind was racing and it was hard enough focusing on his driving, let alone deal with the shorter. Luckily the call didn’t last long, and when Rich was done silence fell over the car. It stayed that way for the rest of the drive.

Michael couldn't stand the wait. It was taking too long to get there and all he could think about was what state he'd find Reese in. The SQUIP hasn’t sounded so distant and disoriented since the Mountain Dew incident. Were they low battery? That should be impossible, they took so much Mountain Dew with them. Were they hurt, then? Did the SQUIP people find them? Were Kert and Ari okay? So many questions he wished he asked, but he doubted he would have gotten much more out of the SQUIP.

The teen found it hard to breathe as they got less than ten minutes from their destination. His eyes were burning in their sockets, fighting to stay open as he stared blurrily at each sign. Before the GPS could announce their arrival Rich suddenly pointed out the window - startling the teen - as he shouted, “There!” Seeing the building, Michael parked a short distance away -it seemed too suspicious to stop just outside. The two then scrambled out the car.

The building was surrounded by – what Michael would call – a run down shopping district. It was only a couple floors tall, made of brick, worn down by the weather and had pretty poor up-keeping. It wasn’t surprising to see that the property was up for sale, and probably has been for a while now. The teen hesitated at the door, exchanging a nervous glance with Rich before attempting to open it.

It was unlocked.

The two slowly entered the building. The room was dark, but large enough to house a couple dozen people. It could have been a cafe at some point. This theory was only strengthened by the old cashier desk attached to the far wall, leaving a space for a person or two behind it. Nothing else was left behind other then the old shelving, and whatever was hidden behind the few closed doors along the walls. Michael scanned the room, gulping nervously as he eyed each of the possible paths they could take. Deciding to eliminate his options he simply called out.

“Reese?” he named. Though his voice could be heard, it was still relatively quiet. There was the irrational fear in him that monsters would appear from the shadows and attack him for trying to speak, no matter how ridiculous that sounded. His body froze in place when shuffling could be heard in response. The movement came from behind the cashier desk, and as soon as it started it stopped. Michael didn’t move, and in his peripheral he could see Rich doing the same. It wasn’t until a hand raised above the desk’s surface and waved once before dropping that they relaxed. Without a word the two raced behind to see who was there. A breath of relief left Michael’s lips at the sight of the three SQUIPs curled up together in the corner. That feeling didn’t last long at seeing how __terrible__  the computers looked. They seemed almost as bad as they did when he first found them. Their skin and clothes were caked in dirt - a hint of red mixed in with the brown colour. Each of them were much thinner and paler then when they were last seen, and their hair was completely tussled and tangled into an uncontrollable mess. The dark circles under their eyes - giving off an undead appearance - rivaled Michael and Rich’s in intensity. To top the appearance off was the thick fog that covered Kert’s green irises - the only computer of the three awake and acknowledging their presence.

“Kert!” Rich yelled as closed the distance between them, wedging himself in the small space in front. Kert eyes immediately began to water, looking at the smaller as though they couldn’t believe he was there.

“Richard,” they choked, their voice hoarse and forced out. Rich let out a distressed sound, purposefully invading the space occupied by the younger computer resting against his own to forcefully wrapped his arms around Kert's neck, hugging them tight. The SQUIP didn't complain or resist, instead tiredly resting their head against his shoulder as their body trembled in his embrace. Michael wasn’t so forgiving as he maneuvered himself into the small space beside Rich, even if it meant shoving the other lightly to do so. His eyes were on Reese. The SQUIP was currently resting against Kert - who had their arm protectively wrapped around the younger. Despite Rich’s forceful movement they showed no sign of waking. Beside them laid Ari, the youngest following the trend of sleeping against the older. Unlike Reese Ari’s eyes slowly began to open and notice the company. Their irises shined in hope at the sight, but otherwise they didn’t react.

“Reese?” Michael called again, trying to sound gentle as he placed a hand on their shoulder. His concern only grew when they didn’t respond. Ari gripped onto the older SQUIP’s sleeve and tried to shake them, eyes glowing lightly in aid. When the computer still didn't wake Ari just simply stopped, resting their head against the other’s shoulder again unconcerned. Michael felt baffled at the lack of worry the other two were showing, but he had to convince himself that they would know better than him if Reese was in any danger. Though this did little to comfort his mind. Careful to not jostle the SQUIP too much, the teen slowly wrapped an arm around Reese's shoulder and shifted them out of Kert’s grasp – and more importantly away from Rich's invasion – and instead let them rest against his shoulder. Their body fell limp in his arms, looking completely contorted with the way they twisted from their previous position to the new one. They felt so light and lifeless, like a doll. Michael's breath came in shorter as he hugged them close. He could feel their cold skin against his neck, and their shallow breath. At least it was confirmation that they were alive, even if his concern only grew with how frozen they were. Looking at Ari - who had moved to keep their position on the older SQUIP - he carefully placed a hand on their head to feel their temperature. They were just as cold, though there was a small argument to be made that they were slightly warmer than the computer beside them. It wasn’t hard to guess that Kert would be no different then the two beside them. They needed to get somewhere warm.

Before he could voice his concern to Rich, the sound of another car arriving was heard. Michael’s eyes shifted in its direction, staying silent as he waited to see who would appear. A moment later the small creak of the door opening sounded. “…Michael?” a familiar voice called.

“Here,” the teen answered, having to swallow the lump in his throat to speak. Ari slowly started to sit up, eyes lighting up in nervous anticipation, as Christine and Jeremy appeared around the counter.

“Ari!” the girl yelled as she fell onto her knees before the SQUIP and pulled them into a tight hug. Ari tensed for a second, registering the touch, before quickly reciprocating, burying their face in her neck.

“Christine,” they cried, shoulders shaking as they sobbed. Jeremy hesitantly knelt beside his girlfriend, looking passed her to his own SQUIP.

“…Is he okay?” he asked, his voice nervous as he awkwardly shifted in his spot. Michael’s brows came together, mouth opening and closing as he thought of what to say.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. Hugging Reese a little bit closer, he continued, “We need to go. Can you help Ari and Kert first? They’ll be easier to move.” Jeremy nodded, placing a hand on his best friend's shoulder in support before standing. Hearing what the teen had said, Christine started to whisper to her SQUIP that they needed to go. Ari listened to their host, nodding lightly as they allowed both Christine and Jeremy to help them stand. Luckily they didn’t need too much aid as they were slowly ushered towards the door.

“Kert, come on,” Rich insisted beside him, pulling Michael’s attention towards him. They were no longer hugging, but it seemed as though the shorter teen was trying to get his SQUIP to follow Ari’s example. Kert shook their head. Their eyes were on Reese. Rich huffed in annoyance, “Neo’s fine, they got Michael. We have to go.”

“No.” The boy blinked in surprise. Very rarely did he ever hear the SQUIP deny him so strongly.

“Kert,” he tried again, but was cut off before he could continue.

“It’s okay,” Michael interjected, “Jeremy’s coming back. He’ll help me.” Kert pressed their lips into a thin line, eyes wavering. The teen offered them a reassuring smile, and that was enough to sway them. The SQUIP slowly let out a breath, relenting, as they turned back to their human. Rich didn’t pester them more as he helped them stand. The computer was more steady than the one that preceded them, and was able to follow the shorter without additional assistance from Jeremy. That was good, the other teen would be able to come straight back and help Reese now. Michael would just have to wait.

“Michael,” a quiet voice called. The teen looked down and his heart skipped a beat at seeing Reese's blue eyes looking up at him.

“Reese?” he breathed, his voice cracking in emotion. The SQUIP slowly shifted so they could see him better, their eyes opening until they were just over half-lidded. Though their irises were more clouded and unfocused than Kert’s, Michael knew they could see him. They made a small sound, their lips twitching up into a small smile.

“Michael,” they repeated, their eyes shining ever so slightly. The boy had no words to say, his eyes watering dangerously as he hugged them even tighter.

“Reese,” he cried, his voice but a whisper, “You scared me.”

“M'sorry,” the SQUIP mumbled, lifting their hand up to grip onto his sleeve. Michael pulled back from the embrace, but kept his face hovering close to theirs so they could see him clearly.

“We're gonna go home, okay? Can you stand?” Reese nodded numbly, but he doubted their answer. Not wanting to rush them, he slowly helped them to sit before even attempting to stand. Luckily Jeremy was back by then, instinctively taking his place on the other side of the SQUIP. Michael frowned when Reese didn’t react to their host’s presence. “Okay, let’s stand,” he instructed, both to the computer and to his friend. The SQUIP didn’t answer, but they followed his lead and stood. Their legs wavered under their weight but he and Jeremy quickly steadied them.

“Lean on me, okay?” he coaxed. This time Reese nodded, leaning quite heavily on him as though they were going to pass out again. Jeremy kept a firm hand on their arm in support, sharing a nervously glance with Michael. The shorter could only give a small shrug before slowly starting to guide the SQUIP towards the door.

As they walked the teen could feel Reese shivering in his arms. A sinking feeling filled his stomach at the idea that Reese was low on energy. Everything about this situation reminded him of when the SQUIP was deprived of Mountain Dew. He didn’t know how this could have happened, the other two computers didn't look nearly as disoriented as Reese. In the end he supposed it didn’t matter, this was the situation and at all costs he needed to get them energy. He needed to get them home.

Slowly he started guiding them to where he parked just before the building. He only realized when he got outside that he left his car on, completely blinding them in the PT Cruiser’s headlights. He inwardly sighed, running a hand tiredly under his glasses at his eyes, but let his stupidity go at the comfort that it was better to navigate Reese in the spotlights than in the dark. Continuing to walk forward Michael was yanked back suddenly when the SQUIP froze in place. He looked at them surprised. Their eyes were blown wide as they stared at the lights, though he questioned if they could see through it to the car behind.

“Reese?” he called gently, tugging on their arm to continue. Reese didn't answer. Michael tried to pull them again but still no response. Their skin seemed pale more than ever as their body shook, eyes glued before them in a terrified trance. The teen swallowed thickly, heart pounding at the SQUIP’s reaction. Jeremy beside them tried to get their attention too with no success. “Hey, Reese,” Michael attempted one more time, his voice filled with fear. Nothing.

Suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed onto Reese’s shoulder, forcing them physically to turn away from their stupor. Michael jumped at the action, but relaxed when he saw Kert standing behind him, Rich flipping out by their side. The older SQUIP ignored their human to give Reese their full attention, holding the younger firmly in front and forcing their gaze on them.

“Eyes here,” they instructed calmly, placing their hand against Reese’s face in a way that’d block the light from their eyes. The younger began to tremble more as they came back to reality. They tried to speak, but their voice died in their throat, only coming out as pathetic whimpers. Kert hushed them. “It's okay, look at me,” they soothed, slowly pulling Reese to the side. Michael stayed by the SQUIP’s side, trying to keep their weight on him than on Kert, as he followed the computer’s lead silently. Jeremy did the same, his eyes shifting frantically between Reese and Kert. Neither knew what was happening, but even Rich knew to stay silent as Kert kept the younger SQUIP in their new trance. The green eyed computer guided them out of the light and around to the side of the car. Once there they slowly lowered their hand and stepped back. Seeing the action as permission to take control, Michael hesitantly took Reese's hand in his own. The SQUIP’s eyes shifted to him, and immediately they cracked. The teen let out a surprised sound as the computer buried their face in the crook of his neck, feeling their warm tears against his skin as a stark contrast to the SQUIP’s freezing temperature. Not knowing what else to do, he hugged them.

“I-It’s okay. I'm here,” he whispered, letting his hand brush through their hair comfortingly. In his peripheral he could see Jeremy watching his movements intensely, but he gave no indication that he would interfere. Any comments his friend had would be - thankfully - left till later. Rich huffed from behind the group as he grabbed at Kert’s arm, trying to pull them towards the car door. The SQUIP didn’t budge, instead rubbing at their eyes tiredly as they yawned.

“I think…it'd be best if Reese stayed with me,” they mumbled, looking at Michael. The teen blinked surprised.

“What? Why?”

“Please don't argue,” they sighed, waving a hand lazily, “Only for the drive. Trust me.” Michael looked from Jeremy to Rich. The taller shook his head slightly, not wanting to make the decision for him. The shorter didn’t seemed thrilled at all at the idea, tightening his grip on his SQUIP’s sleeve. Michael thought about it for a moment. He didn't want to leave Reese’s side, but if they'd feel more uncomfortable or sick in the front, then he had no choice but to put them where they’d feel best. Giving a short nod, he motioning for the two in front of him to take their place in the back seats. Kert bowed their head in agreement before finally allowing Rich to drag them into the car. Michael sighed, looking at Jeremy.

“I got this,” he promised. His friend hesitated, glancing from Reese to Michael uncertainly. After getting another assurance that it’d be okay, he slowly stepped away. Michael waited until Jeremy was half-way to the other car before turning his attention back to the SQUIP.

“Reese?” he called gently, “I’m gonna put you in the back with Kert, okay?” The computer didn’t answer, only hugging him tighter. Michael felt his breath catch in his throat as he realized they didn’t agree with the plan. “I’ll be right here, okay?” he promised, “But you have to go in the back.” It took some forceful movements to be able to unhook Reese’s arms from around him and take a step back. When he did he could see the SQUIP’s glistening eyes clearly. They looked so tired, but more they looked dejected and hopeless. They tried to speak, to say something, but it only came out as a pitiful sound. Michael found it hard to see through his own tears as tried to keep it together, smiling at them weakly for some comfort.

“We’re going home, I promise,” he swore, hoping his words were enough to keep them together. Reese stayed silent, but they didn’t resist this time when he guided them to the back seats. Inside the car the teen could see Kert sitting in the middle, already leaning up against Rich who was against the window. There was plenty of room for Reese to sit, but unsurprisingly the younger immediately shifted up against the older SQUIP, letting the computer hug them tight. Michael had to let go of any frustrations he felt at leaving Reese alone, especially at letting Kert take care of them instead of himself. He had no choice. This wasn't about him, it was about Reese. Making one final check that they were all safely secured, the teen went alone into the front and pulled the car into __‘drive'__.

The journey home felt ridiculously slow. The entire ride Michael had to stop himself from watching the rear view mirror more than the road in front of him. But it felt nearly impossible. In the back he could see that Kert fell asleep relatively fast, and so did Rich. They both seemed at peace next to each other, the shorter teen hugging his SQUIP securely in his arms as they slept. He was equally happy they were finally getting some sleep as he was annoyed. He wished he could get some sleep, instead he was stuck driving. Beside them Reese stayed awake…or, rather, semi-conscious for most of the ride. They didn’t moved a muscle the entire journey, staying where they were curled up to the older computer and letting their face be half buried in the other's arms. From what little Michael could see of their eyes they stayed half-lidded, closing only when a bright light of another car shone through the windshield. The teen was growing more concerned for the SQUIP, anxiety pooling in his stomach at being useless to help. Something about the light is bothering them – no, scaring them. He wished he could ask, but he knew he wouldn't get an answer. It made him speed just a little faster, the need to get home tightening its grip on him.

It was almost a miracle when Michael was finally able to stop at Rich's house. Not caring about formality, the teen reached back and whacked Rich awake. The shorter was in a relatively deep sleep but with enough force he woke with a start, scaring Kert awake beside him. “What the hell?” Rich complained grumpily, glaring at the boy in front. Michael was too tired to answer, instead motioning out the window. The shorter followed his gesture and gave a small ‘oh' at the sight. His spirit seemed to drop as he stared at his house, something Michael wasn't surprised to see. It was the same he gave when he first brought the taller teen home. Beside him Kert gave the same expression, letting out a long breath as though to prepare themselves. Slowly they sat up, gently moving Reese to lean against the opposite window. They let their eyes glow for a moment, asking a secret question that the younger responded to with a small nod. Satisfied with whatever answer they got, Kert turned to Rich. The shorter didn't say a word as he exited the car, his SQUIP following close behind.

“Thanks, Mikey,” Rich called back before closing the door. Michael just waved lazily in returned. He waited until the two made it into the house before looking at Reese in the mirror. They were staring out the window, the fog over their eyes looking thicker than before.

“Hang in there,” he encouraged as he pulled his car away from the house. Luckily Rich didn’t live too far away from himself, and soon enough they were home. Michael barely let his car turn off before he stumbled out of his door and raced to Reese's side. Careful that the SQUIP didn’t fall out when he opened their door, he gently guided them out to stand. The computer had trouble at first keeping balance, so he let them lean against him again. “My mom's are home, okay? We’re gonna have to sneak in,” he whispered, hoping they understood. Reese blinked surprised, before slowly nodding. Relieved that they understood him, the teen quietly guided them towards the house.

Michael tried his best in his sleep deprived state to use his keys efficiently, but his hands couldn’t keep still and he ended up making enough rattling trying to unlock the door to cause alarm. To his relief no one seemed to wake at his disruption, and they entered without issue. After locking the door behind them, they quietly made their way to the basement. It was enough of a routine by now that neither needed light to navigate down the stairs, which was useful in their sneaking operation. In the back of Michael's mind he remembered the first time they did this together…a lot of tonight felt the same as then, but much has changed.

Reaching the bottom the teen finally turned on the lights. Reese flinched at the sudden brightness, groaning as their body swayed at the disorientation. Michael kept them steady, watching them concerned as he tried to predict their next movement. “You should sit down,” he insisted, rubbing their arm comfortingly. Reese shook their head lightly, even as they leaned on him more. Michael's brows furrowed, “Reese, you're not okay. You need to rest.” They shook their head again.

“…I should…” they mumbled, motioning to themselves. Michael looked down at their dirtied clothes - now more gross in the lighting - and understood what they meant.

“Yeah. You should – uh…get cleaned up,” he agreed awkwardly, “Are you - uh, okay to take a shower? It'll warm you up. Or – uh…if you're not comfortable…” Reese gave a short nod, which only confused the teen on their answer. He didn’t need clarification though, because the SQUIP started to move towards the bathroom. Michael followed, keeping their weight on him until they reached the entrance. Once there Reese shifted off of him and instead rested against the door frame. The teen bit his lip nervously. Should he leave them alone? They were in no state to be unsupervised, but they were giving clear signals that they wanted to do this alone. If they are this weak, should he even be accepting their opinion? They’re not in their right state of mind.

Taking in a long breath, he spoke, “I’m going to be right out here, okay? If you need me - call. I’ll check in on you in ten minutes.” Reese nodded as they slowly entered the room. Michael helped to shut the door, and to his relief he didn’t hear the lock turn. Staring at the wood until he heard water, the teen slowly backed up.

Forcing his body to keep moving despite how disoriented he was getting himself, he went to the SQUIP’s room. Entering he felt himself pause. He didn’t realize he hasn't been inside the room since he first showed it to Reese until he saw the differences. It no longer was a blank guest room. It hadn't changed too much, but it looked __lived__  in. Reese's personal belongings - like the tablet - were on the bedside table, the sheets on the bed were folded in a way Michael would __never__  do, and there were note pads and an accompanying pen laid haphazardly on the bed. Most notably, though, was the computer's favourite sweater – the one Michael bought them – laid neatly against the comforter. The teen looked at it in awe. He was happy that the SQUIP cherished the one piece of clothing he bought them, and he's also glad they didn't bring it with them and ruin it. Michael picked it up in his hands and decided that Reese would probably appreciate the comfort. Grabbing some other comfortable clothing as well, and a towel, the boy headed back to the bathroom. He could hear the water still running inside. His cheeks turned bright red when he realized he was expected to just enter and put the clothes where the SQUIP could reach it. It was hard to keep the imagery from his mind, but it’d be stupid to not prepare himself too. Taking in a long, shuttering breath, he slowly cracked open the door. Bringing a hand up to half cover his eyes, he kept his vision forward as he entered the room.

“Reese, I'm gonna leave these here…okay?” he called, placing the clothing on the edge of the sink counter. He heard a small hum in response and took it as confirmation. Without another word the teen quickly exited the room, closing the door behind him. It felt freezing outside without the steam of the shower, but he was grateful for the chance to cool down. He honestly couldn’t let himself think like that, especially when Reese was low powered and was looking to him for help. Rubbing at his eyes tiredly, and cursing his wandering mind, he allowed himself to shuffle over to the kitchen. Taking a bottle of Mountain Dew out of the fridge, he lazily held it in his hand as he walked back over to his own room. He needed to get changed himself.

Plopping the bottle on his bed, Michael tiredly got changed into his own pajamas. Every movement got more and more sluggish, until finally he slumped onto his mattress now fully dressed. He just stayed there, staring at the ground in a daze as he let a loud yawn escape his lips. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to stay awake. Should he make coffee? No, he imagined once Reese was done they’d want to go straight to bed. He hoped so, they needed it as much as he did.

Lost in his own trance, the teen didn’t hear when the water turned off, nor when the bathroom door opened. His vision was too blurred and focused on the wood flooring to even see his own door creak open. “Michael?” that familiar voice called, the sound but a whisper. Michael jumped startled, eyes widening as he saw the SQUIP leaning against his door frame. Placing a hand over his hammering heart, he let out a long breath.

“Reese, fuck,” he cursed, trying to relax his body from the shock, “Sorry, I didn't - did you knock?”

“No,” the computer mumbled, rubbing their eyes, “It was open.” Michael blinked. Did he not close the door all the way? When did Reese get here? Did they come in earlier and he didn’t hear them? He blushed at the thought before quickly dismissing it.

“Uh, right,” he excused awkwardly, before turning to the Mountain Dew beside him. Picking it up he offering it to them, “Here.” The SQUIP slowly made their way into the room and plopped down beside him. Helping to take the cap off, the teen assisted in guiding the drink to their lips. He let them slowly sip at it until they pulled back, indicating that it was enough. He wanted them to drink more, but he did remember that a small amount did a lot.  Now they would have to wait.

“How are you feeling?” Michael asked, putting the cap back on the bottle and placing it on the nightstand. Reese didn't answer, only letting out a shuttered breath. The teen’s anxiety returned at the lack of response. “Reese?” he called gently, lifting a hand up to brush their wet hair out of their face. They were still cold, but the warm droplets on their skin brought their temperature to a better level. Reese’s eyes shifted to him, looking at him longingly as though they had so much to say.

“Michael,” they breathed, the sound barely carrying out of their mouth. Without a warning they let their head drop to his shoulder, burying their face once more in his neck as their hands gripped at his sweater loosely. Michael wasn’t surprised this time, hugged them tightly as his eyes watered at the contact.

“I-It's okay,” he soothed, “It's okay. You're home.” Reese sniffled, their body trembling in his arms.

“So tired,” they cried, voice cracking in emotion. Michael’s heart ached at the sound, but he quickly nodded, rubbing their back soothingly.

“I-It’s okay, you can sleep. Here, lie down,” he offered, pulling back and motioning to the bed. Reese looked at the mattress with watery eyes. Slowly they shook their head.

“It's yours.”

“And?” he questioned, rubbing their arm soothingly, “You can sleep here. I'm not gonna make you walk all the way to your room.” Reese continued to stare at it longingly. The teen dipped their head down to better meet their gaze, wondering if they need more of a push.

“….Will you stay here?” they asked suddenly, turning their clouded eyes to him. Michael blinked surprised, a blush rising to his cheeks.

“Uh…Yeah. Yeah, I can,” he answered awkwardly, not knowing if that was the answer they wanted to hear. It wasn’t a big deal if it was, they slept together on their date too. The bed should make no difference…right? A red hint rose to Reese’s cheeks as they looked back at the bed.

“You don't have to…” they trailed off. He frowned for a moment, wondering if they meant that they didn’t want him there or if they thought he was doing it out of obligation. He decided it was the later.

“I know, I want to.” Reese’s irises shifted back to him and locked eyes. It took a comforting smile from him to fully convince them of his answer, and they slowly nodded. The teen had to keep his blush from darkening as he helped the SQUIP to lie down on the bed, under the covers. “Uh, do you want more Mountain Dew?” he asked uncertainly. Reese shook their head as they settled in, eyes already closing. Michael nodded awkwardly, slowly standing and going across the room to turn off the lights. Once the room was dark, and so was the basement outside, he walked blindly back to his bed. Quietly he joined the computer under the covers, trying not to touch them as he did so. This proved pointless because as soon as he settled Reese shifted over and curled up to him. Michael shook his head with a small smile, wrapping his arms around them in a tight hug as he let his face rest against their hair.

In the silence of the room they whispered to him, “I missed you.” It sounded so genuine, and filled with painful longing. His grip tightened as he held them closer.

“I missed you more,” he answered, pressing a kiss to the top of their head. Knowing nothing else needed to be said, he let his eyes finally close.

For the first time that week they both slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: These two are so cute they deserve more cute imagery. Enjoy this one.


	32. What Happened To You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His fingers curled into their shirt as though to feel that they were really there.
> 
> They were.
> 
> They were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December is finally over! I'm free! Sorta. Haha. I'm actually free this Sunday. I fully intend to upload next week if I can, but it'll probably be later in the week. Maybe Friday just to give me time to die less inside. I'm sorry for such a wait! This chapter probably turned out choppy, but I refuse to go another week without an update! So...hopefully it's okay.
> 
> I don't have much more to say, I'm exhausted. So, enjoy!
> 
> Warning: I never really warned before on content, but there's mentions to Rich's family life in this chappy. You can imagine what that means, so, fair warning.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

When Rich and Kert entered their room, the teen was more than ready to go to bed. The car drive had been his first real sleep all week, and he wanted to continue that. Opening his mouth to let out a large yawn he started shuffling to his bed. It wasn't until he flopped onto it, and he heard no other sound, that he noticed Kert hadn't moved from the door. “You coming?” he mumbled into the sheets. The SQUIP didn't answer. Giving out a small groan the teen sat up. He could see the computer leaning against the closed door, staring at the ground distantly. He frowned, “Kert?” When the SQUIP still didn't answer he slowly stood and approached them. “Hey, you okay?”

“I'm sorry,” they said suddenly, surprising the teen.

“Wha - For what?” he stuttered confused.

“For everything. For not doing more, for not…for not __fixing__  the only thing you wanted changed in your life,” they answered, their voice filled with remorse. Rich stared at them.

“You mean my dad?” They nodded. “Well…you tried, I didn't listen. I don't want him to have a SQUIP, he doesn't deserve it, end of story. Who cares? Why are you even thinking of him, fuck him.”

“Do you really think you can hide _this_ from me?” Kert hissed as they snatched the boy's hand. Pushing back his sleeve they revealed the dark purple bruise forming around his wrist. Rich recoiled, ripping his hand away from the SQUIP and holding it close to his chest.

“It's nothing new,” he mumbled dismissively, “Don't act surprised.”

“It went farther than average and you're trying to hide it from me. __Why__?”

“Fuck, if you wont shut up about it,” Rich huffed, rubbing at his eyes, “I got mad and pissed him off. Completely my fault, who cares?”

“ _Why_?”

“Why? Cause I haven't slept in a fucking week and I was fucking done with him, that's why.”

“…And you haven't slept because of me.”

“Yeah, well, life sucks without you,” he grumbled, sighing heavily, “Are you done? Can we sleep now?” Kert didn't answer, glaring at the door as though it personally offended them. The teen blinked surprised, not expecting to see a strong emotion from the computer, or at least a murderous one. “Kert?”

“Stay here,” they instructed, turning and grabbing the doorknob. Rich's eyes blew wide as he quickly lunged forward and slammed himself into the door before the SQUIP could exit.

“What the hell are you thinking?!” he squeaked alarmed.

“I'm doing my job,” they answered, unnervingly calm, “I'll make it go away.”

“Are you crazy?!”

“Maybe.”

“What the hell's gotten into you? We can't just – _you_ said we should wait! We have no where else to go!” Rich exclaimed.

“I'll figure something out,” Kert huffed, “I'm a SQUIP, I have options.”

“You said it'd be best to wait till next year! We'd get more out of it!”

“Clearly that was a stupid idea. Ending the situation would be better.”

“You're gonna get arrested!”

“I'd risk that.”

“What the hell's gotten into you?!” Rich snapped as he finally managed to wiggle himself between the SQUIP and the door. Pushing them away from the knob he sprawled himself across the wood, blocking any chance they had at escaping. Kert glared dangerously, and the boy gulped. The SQUIP had never been malicious to him before…what would they do?

“ _Never_ shove me again, clear?” Rich nodded dumbly, too scared to speak. Kert turned their heated eyes away, glaring instead at the floor.

“Don't stop me.”

“You're acting crazy!” the boy tried.

“I'm thinking straight! I can do things now that I couldn't then, and I'm taking responsibility for my mistakes.”

“Kert, it was my fault! Okay? Calm down.”

“Nothing you do should _ever_ deserve such a punishment,” the SQUIP growled.

“If you have such a problem with it then why did you make me do it too?!” Rich snapped. Kert blinked, color draining from their face.

“…What?” they sounded.

“You had me bully kids in school, remember? Mikey and Jer. They were just like me, they didn't deserve it,” the teen continued quietly. The computer was silent, staring at him with wide eyes. Rich let out a long breath, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly. “Whatever, it's over, okay? We can just chill now, for real! I don't care if we have to wait till college or whatever to be free from him. I just…need you to calm down.” Kert didn't answer, slowly turning and facing away. Rich waited, but nothing happened. Hesitantly leaving the door unguarded, he slowly approached the SQUIP.

“Kert?”

“I did that…didn't I?” they mumbled. Rich frowned.

“Yeah, but…you know, it's okay now. You're the best, you know? So don't go to jail or something cause I'll be sad. And SQUIPs can't make their humans sad, right?” He tried giving a smile, but Kert wasn't phased.

“I'm a terrible human being,” they whispered, “I failed as a SQUIP, and now as a human. Worse than that - I made you into someone you hated.” They finally shifted their clouded eyes to meet his. “I'm sorry, Rich.”

“…When did I become ‘Rich'?” the teen teased, trying not to show how worried he was for them.

“I always ignored your preference. You used to listen better when I used your full name. I'm sorry for not saying it sooner.”

“…I like that you call me Richard,” he admitted awkwardly, “You're the only one.”

“…You don't mind?”

“Read my mind, dummy.”

“I'm too fuzzy for that,” Kert dismissed with a wave of their hand. Rich hesitantly placed a hand on their arm, and when they didn't resist he forced them to sit on the bed.

“Don't change, Kermit,” he said, “I like you as you are. Don't turn into Reese.”

“Ouch,” the SQUIP grinned.

“Don't be stupid, then.” The teen then took the Mountain Dew off his night table and offered it to the computer. Kert stared at him for a moment, a small smile finally reaching their lips.

“I like it when you call me Kermit,” they admitted, “…It's the name you gave me.”

“It's who you are, dumb Muppet,” Rich grinned. The SQUIP shook their head as their smile widened. Sluggishly they opened the bottle, drinking from it. Rich let out a breath of relief.

“Don't be freaky again, okay? I can't take you to college if you're in jail,” he warned lightly, walking to the door and turning off the lights. Despite his action, the room wasn't completely doused of light. Moonlight shown through the window bathing everything in silver, though its allure paled in comparison to the unnatural glow of the SQUIP's eyes.

“I believe you mean University. I already picked out a couple for you.”

“Wha – I don’t even get a choice?”

“You do, I just picked out a couple of options.” Rich rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help letting himself relax at the more natural response from his computer. He made his way back to his bed, crawling up beside the SQUIP and laying down. Without permission his eyes closed as his head hit the pillow. He was so tired…but his heart was still hammering in his chest. What if Kert did something while he slept? Were they okay? What prompted their reaction…they never acted so violently before. Distantly he could hear the sound of the bottle being returned to the nightstand nearby, before Kert shifted beside him. He could feel them hesitate for a moment before lying beside him, and he couldn’t help but open his eyes to watch them settle in. Their face still looked troubled, though it was more in distress than hostility, as they stared up at the ceiling. The teen carefully wrapped an arm around their torso, nuzzling his head against their shoulder.

“Don't change,” he repeated, hoping his words would convince them. Kert didn’t answer. A small frown reached his lips, but it softened when he felt them turn towards him and hug him back. Feeling the tension lifting the teen closed his eyes and let himself drift off into sleep. The computer, however, stayed awake, brushing their fingers through the boy's hair as they held him close. Their eyelids kept threatening to close, but each time a flash of imagery returned to their mind and they jerked awake. They let out a shuttered breath.

“Richard?” they whispered. The boy didn't answer. They waited a moment, determining that Rich was in a deep enough sleep. They hugged him a little tighter. “You've become more responsible than me,” they mumbled, “Do you even need me anymore?”

Silence.

Biting their lip they forced themselves to continue. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry I let this happen to you. I should have…” they sighed, “I’m sorry it took until now to have that connection…Being an emotionless SQUIP is no excuse. Worse is I’m speaking to the air instead of to your eyes.”

Silence.

“…We’re the same, you and me. Except, I didn’t have a SQUIP. I had nothing…no attention…no recognition. I was…nothing.”

Silence.

“…I promise I’ll never let you become me…and I promise I’ll fix this, somehow. No matter what.”

Silence.

Having nothing else left to say, Kert closed their eyes.

~oOo~

Chloe yawned as she roughly sat up in bed. Not even an hour after letting Christine and Ari inside her house did her body decide to wake up…she hated it. Sighing annoyed she swung her legs over the side and roughly stood. It took a moment of stumbling in the dark to find her door, but when she did she swiftly opened it. The teen nearly jumped out of her skin at seeing Ari curled up in a ball beside the door, cocooned in a blanket.

“What the hell!” she nearly screamed, eyes blown wide. Purple eyes snapped to her in surprise, irises glowing a light pink in the dark.

“Did I wake you?” they whispered, voice nervous. Chloe stared at them, jaw agape.

“ _Wake_ me? You scared the living shit out of me!”

“Sorry…”

“What are you doing outside my room? Do you always do this?!”

“No…”

“Then why?”

“…I'm cold,” the SQUIP answered honestly, voice quiet. The teen blinked surprised.

“Cold? I showed you where the spare blankets were,” she said while pointing to said closet. Ari followed her motion before looking away, burrowing deeper into their blanket.

“I know…”

“Then…?”

“…I don't want to be alone.” Chloe let out a long breath, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Are you cold or lonely?”

“Both…but…”

“But what?” The girl had to resist the urge to huff at the SQUIP, not in the mood to be beating around the bush. Ari, eyes watering, shifted so that the blanket covered their head like a hood, trying to hide themselves as they spoke.

“I-I don't want to be alone when I die.” Chloe's eyes shot open.

“Die?! What the fu – oh my God, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Why didn't you say anything?!” she exclaimed as she knelt down beside them, trying to pull their hood off their head to reveal their face. Ari just sniffed, wiping at their eyes.

“I'm not hurt,” they mumbled.

“Then what?! What’s wrong?!”

“…I'm cold.”

“Wha – you can't die from a cold!…Can you?” the girl questioned. The SQUIP didn't answer.

“I-I know I'm okay…but I can't shake the feeling that… _this is it_ ,” they whispered honestly, body shaking. Chloe let out a slow sigh as she put an arm around the smaller.

“You're just tired and confused…and maybe sick.” The teen put a hand against the SQUIP's forehead. She hummed lightly, “Mmh, yeah, maybe sick.” Ari shuttered, their heart racing a little faster.

“I don't want to be sick,” they whispered scared.

“Hey, don't freak out. It's okay to be sick, it's not your fault. I'll make soup, no problem,” the girl promised. Ari curled up more.

“What if I-"

“You're not gonna die,” Chloe cut off firmly, “Not unless something else is going on that you’re not telling me.” Ari shook their head, but didn’t look convinced at the teen’s words. The girl sighed again before hugging the computer into her side. “Geez, why are you freaking out so much? You’re a SQUIP, get it together.” Ari didn't answer, just sniffing and wiping at their eyes miserably. Noticing she wasn't making things better the teen changed directions.

“Come on, I'll make you soup,” she offered as she stood. The SQUIP looked up at her but didn't follow, gripping their blanket tighter.

“I'm sorry.” Chloe waved them off.

“No worries, I make a mean chicken noodle soup, ask Brooke. Come on, we'll watch Rom Coms and Disney until you feel better,” she answered. When Ari still didn't move the girl huffed and flicked her hair out of her face. “Alright, up we go.” Without another warning she scooped the computer up into her arms. The SQUIP made an unintelligible noise as they were carried over and dumped onto the couch. Chloe laughed in triumph.

“We need to get some meat on you, girl. You weigh nothing!” she chuckled as she sauntered off into the kitchen nearby. Ari watched distantly, cheeks red in embarrassment.

“Chloe,” they called, voice nervous.

“You don't want to be alone,” Chloe guessed as she came back into the doorway holding a wooden spoon, “Want me to wake Christine?”

“N-No!”

“Okay, well _I’m_ not going back to bed. How am I supposed to know if you're okay if I go back to sleep?” Ari was silent, biting their lip anxiously. The teen offered a smile, “I do this all the time with Brookie. You’re gonna eat some good shit, I'm gonna eat some bad shit, and we're gonna have a good time. Okay?” The computer looked at her indecisively for a moment.

“…Okay,” they agreed slowly, eyes shining, “…Thank you.” Chloe nodded, smiling wide before going back into the kitchen.

~oOo~

Michael felt sluggish as he was slowly pulled out of sleep. His body was heavy, and his eyelids even more. It took a few minutes of pathetic attempts to even try to move, managing to crack open his eyes even just a little. His brows furrowed at the blurred image before him, his brain trying to piece together the colored shapes into a picture. His eyes widened in surprise as he remembered that he was sleeping in someone else’s arms. Not just anyone - Reese. His heart fluttered in both relief and joy at seeing the SQUIP before him. His fingers curled into their shirt as though to feel that they were really there.

They were.

They were _home_.

Reese was usually the first to awake, but the teen wasn't surprised to see them still sleeping. The dark circles under their eyes hadn't fully cleared and even though they were asleep they still looked exhausted. Michael slowly reached a hand up and rested it against the other's cheek, letting the tip of his fingers brush against the computer's hair. He missed them. He missed everything about them, even the annoying parts. The SQUIP stirred at the touch and before he could move his hand away blue eyes fluttered open. The teen stayed silent as he waited for Reese’s irises to focus on him.

“Michael?” they named, voice hoarse, as they stared at him. Michael smiled, gently brushing back their bangs.

“Tic Tac.” The computer's eyes lit up, a grin forming on their lips as they hugged him a little tighter.

“I'm here,” they said as though they couldn't believe it. The teen nodded, letting out a small laugh.

“You are. You really freaked me out!”

“I can imagine.”

“Are you okay? You were really out of it last night,” he asked, his voice turning concerned.

“I believe you mean this morning,” the SQUIP corrected, grin widening. Michael’s face fell, unimpressed.

“You're fine,” he huffed. Reese chuckled.

“I apologize. I _am_ feeling better. I really needed that sleep…and the company.” The teen blushed, but didn't move to hide it. The SQUIP's smirk turned more mischievous at the sight, “Though how you let me get away with staying in your bed I'll never know.”

“You were tired,” Michael defended, though he sounded more embarrassed than he meant. “I wasn’t going to make you walk back to your room. You were practically passed out on my bed anyways. Which, by the way,” the teen twisted out of the computer's hold for a moment as he grabbed the bottle of Mountain Dew off of the nightstand. Rolling back into position he offered it, “Here.” Reese took it gratefully as they propped themselves up on their elbow. They swayed slightly and Michael had to place a hand on their shoulder to steady them as they opened the bottle and drank from it. The boy waited until the SQUIP had at least half the drink in their system before offering to take it back. The SQUIP returned the cap back, but instead of taking the teen’s offer they instead let the soda rest between them as they laid back down beside him. Michael sighed but didn’t argue, ignoring the drink completely to be able to curl up to the computer’s side.

“You have no idea how happy I am to be back,” Reese mumbled as they wrapped their arms around the boy. Michael bit his lip as he tried to think of how to ask questions about the lost week to the SQUIP without upsetting them.

“…What happened out there?” he said slowly, not knowing where else to start. The computer was silent, lips pressed shut as their eyes hardened. Michael felt guilty for bringing up the subject, and even more concerned that something terrible happened to them in his absence. He should have probably waited…but if there was something he needed to know, there was only one way to find out. After a minute passed Reese let out a long breath.

“We let them get too close,” they admitted bitterly, “We were fortunate that the people who got closest had younger SQUIPs in their brains. Or, at least, younger than Kert. But they were fully functioning SQUIPs and we are…damaged. They nearly had us in their vans before we managed to wiggle out of their grasps.” Michael sputtered, nearly choking on his air.

“ _Vans_?!”

“…Yes…We let them get too close.”

“ _Kidnapping_ close?! Are you insane?!”

“…I’m tempted to say ‘yes'.” The teen sighed, shaking his head.

“Idiot.”

“It wasn't our intention to let them get that close, but miscalculations happen.”

“That’s a big fucking miscalculation!” The SQUIP sighed at his tone.

“Believe me, Michael, it _won't_ happen again.”

“Damn straight! If you weren’t such a cocky asshole this wouldn’t have happened period! Just - stop it!”

“Noted. But I  _did_ mean I have no intentions of doing something as drastic as leaving again, not just refraining from letting them get close…I believe it did more harm then good,” they mumbled. Michael tilted his head with a frown.

“What do you mean?” They were quiet for a moment.

“…Yes, we successfully tricked them, but…all of our mental healths were put to test and I don't believe we came out better…”

“…What do you mean?”

“…Our first night was fine, or at least in comparison to the rest of our week. We used what money we had between us to get a room…but it made too obvious a signal to our pursuers and they caught up to us within hours of checking in. But we kept our distance and felt confident with our plan…”

“…But?”

“…Something went wrong, something none of us expected. Sleeping on the streets that second night… _ _changed__  us.”

“…Changed you how? What happened?” Reese looked away, opening and closing their mouth several times as they tried to organize their thoughts.

“…I noticed it right away. Kert couldn’t sleep for a second. They were on high alert - almost to the point of sending ‘warning’ signals to us beside them - the entire night. Ari seemed more quiet than usual. It wasn’t until the next night that I noticed they were getting ill. Worse was that the sickness was self-inflicted.”

“Self-inflicted?” Michael echoed in shock, “You can do that?!”

“If one is convinced and determined mentally to become sick, the body will find a way. Whether or not it is intentional, if you believe you are getting sick and want to be proven right of your self-diagnosis, it will happen,” the SQUIP explained.

“But why would Ari _want_ to be sick?”

“They don’t, but they became so _fearful_ that they were getting sick that they unintentionally brought it on. Psychologically, from their perspective, I wasn’t taking their claim seriously because there was no proof or reason to believe they were sick. So they worried themselves to an extreme and developed symptoms of illness just to be able to have proof.”

“Why the hell would they do that?”

“It wasn’t intentionally done.”

“It sounds intentional.”

“Let me rephrase it then,” Reese offered, “They were becoming terrified of being sick for…reasons. They informed me they were sick, and I told them they were okay. They got more and more frightened that they were getting worse and I was ignoring them. As their terror and anxiety rose, their body started failing.”

“And got sick,” Michael concluded. The computer nodded. “But they seemed okay yesterday.”

“After the… _van_ incident, none of us were in good shape. So we had to constantly care for each other. I believe it soothed their mind to finally be tended to.” The teen nodded, though he felt frustrated that the youngest computer would put the other two - especially Reese - through unnecessary drama during a crucial moment.

“What about Kert? What was wrong with them?” he asked, trying to calm himself down by changing topics. Reese hesitated again, eyes turning nervous as they fell to the bed.

“…The same that happened to Ari.”

“What? Sick? Again? Seriously?”

“…No…”

“Then what?” The SQUIP started playing with the edge of the Mountain Dew bottle to avoid eye contact, and it brought a frown to the boy. “…Reese?”

“…We shouldn’t be talking about this,” they finally concluded, “It’s not my business to be sharing their personal lives.”

“Wha - Seriously?” Michael asked, exasperated.

“I spoke to much.” The teen let out a long frustrated breath.

“If you don’t want to talk what happened to them, fine. But something happened, Reese, I know it did. Something happened to __you__ ,” he pressed. Reese was silent. As he waited for the SQUIP to give some sort of answer he tried to piece together all they told him. Something happened to both Kert and Ari, something that made the youngest fearful of illness and the older…on alert? Scared? Was that the common trait? Fear? Irrational fear? Did the SQUIP people do that to them? No, Reese said it happened on the second night, and that was before the van incident…right? Whatever happened to the other two must have happened to Reese too, so…were they scared?

“Things began to resurface,” the SQUIP finally answered. Michael blinked surprised.

“What things? Memories?” They didn’t reply. The teen was getting more concerned. If it was memories…what the hell did they remember that caused such a reaction amongst them all? More importantly, _what did Reese go through that night?_

When Reese’s breath started coming in more erratic Michael realized he was probably pushing too much too fast. He sighed, pushing his own impatience aside to focus on the computer in front of him.

“It’s fine, we can talk about it later. You just got home. Why don’t we eat something and relax? Kay?” he offered gently. Reese gave him a grateful look he didn't expect, and it made him feel better about his decision.

“I’m starving.”

~oOo~

Michael and Reese spent the next few hours unwinding. The teen took time to make the SQUIP the best meal he could, and the computer ate it as though there was nothing better in the world. He made sure to give them more Mountain Dew, too, no matter how much they insisted it wasn't necessary. His main concern was to get them fully recharged, so he stored at least three bottles beside his beanie chair to able to pass it whenever they finished one. So, with that in mind, he forced them into a blanket cocoon to help warm up their skin as he popped in a movie for them to watch. Reese made their usual move to cuddle up beside him and by the time the credits rolled the teen felt better about the computer’s body temperature. Didn’t stop him from making them a cup of hot chocolate though.

“A little early for such a festive drink, don't you think?” the SQUIP commented as they accepted a mug from the boy.

“Hot chocolate is a year round drink,” Michael countered, sitting back down beside them.

“I suppose technically it is.”

“Even if it wasn’t, _commercially_ Christmas starts in November, and Halloween is next week, so we’re practically there. Enough of an excuse?” Reese didn’t answer. The teen glanced over and saw that their face seemed grim, regretful. His eyes slowly shifted down as he began tapping his fingers against the mug in his own hands.

“I guess we both had bad experiences last year, huh?” he mumbled quietly. The SQUIP shook their head.

“No…No, I don't have bad memories of Halloween. I was deactivated for most of it,” they looked at him, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel…responsible for your experience.” Michael didn’t meet their gaze, staring at the floor distantly. It has been a while since he thought about that night…the memory doesn’t feel as painful now that things have mended between Reese and himself. But the reminder always returns that it wasn’t Reese he was supposed to blame for that night at all…it was Jeremy.

“With that said,” Reese continued, pulling him from his thoughts, “I fully intend on being here for you this year. Completely active and distractive.”

“Distractive?” Michael questioned, face heating up at the implication. The SQUIP grinned.

“Yes.”

“…What kind of distractive?”

“I'm up for suggestions,” their smirk widened as they leaned back in their seat more comfortably. Michael’s face flushed red as he averted his eyes from the computer.

“Get your head outta the gutter,” he grumbled to himself. The computer chuckled.

“Technically, Michael, as your ‘Riends I’m comfortable with you thinking about me in a lewd fashion.”

“Please shut up,” the teen groaned, burying his heated face in his hands. Reese laughed.

“Alright, I'll stop teasing,” they conceded, “But __do__  start thinking of ideas.”

“Halloween ideas…Yeah, most stuff are out,” Michael sighed, “I’m not dressing up again - wait.” Reese blinked surprised when the teen turned to them suddenly with a grin, “Are _you_ gonna dress up again?”

“Me? Again?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you-”

“Don’t think Jeremy didn’t tell me about your little costumes,” the teen teased, “Neo, right?” The SQUIP blushed, flustered.

“Wha - I wasn't _Neo_ …We didn't have the rights to that.”

“Discount Neo.”

“I wasn’t - I…Don't judge me! I was Keanu Reeves, alright?” they huffed, slouching in their chair. Michael laughed.

“And a weeaboo.”

“Don't tell me…”

“Yep. You dressed up like an anime villain.”

“Jeremy,” Reese whined, running a hand over their face. The teen continued to giggle as he patted them on the back.

“Your theatre career is looking better and better, Reese,” he encouraged.

“At least _someone's_ enjoying this.”

“Which reminds me…” Michael paused, “Uh…is it safe for you to go outside again?”

“What?” The SQUIP’s eyes went wide in slight alarm. The teen held up a hand to calm them.

“Not another mission. You know, to the mall or something…”

“Oh…Uh, not at the moment, but hopefully soon, yes,” they answered, relaxing.

“Good…” Michael began tapping his mug again nervously, “Uh, I don't know if you know about this, but there's another school play this year. In November, in fact.” Reese was silent, eyes narrowing in on their own drink as they tense. Slowly the took a breath.

“And?”

“And Christine invited you.”

“What?” they exclaimed. Michael offered a soft smile.

“Well, it was before she knew who you were, but it probably still stands. I wasn't going to bring it up cause Jeremy would be there, but…you know, everyone knows about you now, so…maybe?” The SQUIP gave him a hard look, lips pressed into a straight line.

“I don't think that's wise decision,” they finally answered.

“Yeah, I know, but…” Michael paused, glancing down. He sighed, “It might make it easier if last years memories were replaced.” Reese tilting their head lightly as they looked at the boy in understanding.

“I know what you mean…and…I want to go with you, Michael. To sit with you and change our history. To see Jeremy perform…but I don't think anyone would feel comfortable with me there,” they admitted.

“What if I ask around? Rich will probably force Kert to go anyways, and Christine will probably invite Ari. No one can get mad that you're joining the other SQUIPs.”

“On the contrary, I think they can.”

“Yeah, but it'd be unfair to not invite you when everyone else is going. It's a ‘social understanding’,” the teen air quoted. Reese chuckled.

“Social construct.”

“Shut up and say ‘yes'.”

“Think of it this way, Michael. If we weren't in a relationship, would you want me there?” Michael was silent. He opened his mouth to retort, but he couldn’t get himself to do it. That was all the answer the SQUIP needed, “That's why I shouldn't go.”

“Maybe that's why you should,” the boy retorted, “Prove you're not a dick.”

“According to everyone I still am, so nothing's really changing.”

“Can you at least think about it?” the teen huffed.

“I’ll think about it,” Reese conceded.

“For more than a second?”

“ _Yes_.”

“Okay, good.” Michael turned to his mug and sipped from it. The SQUIP, watching his movements, slumped lower in their seat.

“Are you going to tell me how your week went yet?” they asked curiously, “You haven’t said a word about your own mission.” Michael hummed.

“I got the SQUIPs.”

“You did?” the SQUIP exclaimed, eyes lighting up.

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“There was always a percentage that you would back out due to the danger or fear, or perhaps you couldn't find them period. But you did! You found them - all of them?” they continued eagerly. The teen nodded.

“All at the Payless. Rich is holding onto a few, and I have the rest hidden in my room ,” he answered. Reese gave a flat look.

“They're with your weed, aren't they?” Michael's face flushed red.

“Wha – I didn't-"

“You didn't have to. As good of a hiding spot I'm sure it is please move my colleagues somewhere more respectful.”

“Fine,” the teen sighed. Glancing away, he changed topics, “There's something else, though.”

“What?”

“…I think my Mom is working for the SQUIP people.” Reese's eyes widened in alarm.

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure. First thing she does when he comes home is ask me if I have one! Or knew someone who did… _and_ her job gives her the ‘okay' to come home right after you leave? That’s _way_ too much! You know, that and straight up admitted the SQUIPs had to do with work,” the boy expressed. The SQUIP was quiet for a moment, thinking over what he said.

“…Do you feel like she's a threat?” they asked gently. Michael hesitated.

“No,” he admitted, “But we can't risk it. I don't want my Mom turning you in…I can't live with that.”

“Well, it's something we can try to look into. I’m sure there’s an employee database we can find and see what her position is. It'd be difficult to pull up, but we can try,” they offered. Michael nodded his head numbly.

“Yeah.”

“Or - if we feel particularly wild - we can always introduce me to your parents and see if she reacts.” The teen's face flared up as he gave the grinning computer a wide eyed look.

“You can't be serious!”

“I'm only teasing, but it _is_ an option.” Michael shook his head.

“That's _way_ too dangerous.”

“…Hmm, I thought your resilience would be based on the fact that we've only dated once,” the SQUIP hummed thoughtfully. Michael paused for a moment before shrugging.

“I mean, we live together, every moment's a date,” he dismissed. Reese smiled more genuinely.

“I wouldn't put it that way, but I'm touched none-the-less.”

“Good.” The teen watched as the SQUIP took their first sip from their mug, and was happy at the content look over their features. “Like it?”

“Yes,” they sighed, “It's nice to have something different.”

“I can imagine,” Michael tilted his head, “So, uh…why were you so low battery if you were drinking Mountain Dew?”

“Hm?”

“Kert and Ari looked more – uh…there? - than you did. Did you not have enough Mountain Dew?” Reese tapped their fingers lightly against their mug as they thought over their answer. Michael has to resist the urge to grin at their tick. They were mimicking him.

“We lost a few items early on in the run. I gave up my portion to Ari to keep them healthy,” they finally answered. The teen’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What?”

“I know I can survive longer without it. Yes, it was foolish depriving myself but I knew you'd come to get me.”

“You really like being a martyr don't you?” the teen huffed. Reese gave a small smirk.

“I'm designed to help…but, I suppose, it also makes me feel less evil.”

“You should have taken care of yourself first. You were really out of it last night. You freaked out at my car lights!” he reasoned. Reese froze, their grip on the mug tightening. The teen paused. He didn't think bringing up the memory would incite such a reaction from them. He thought that maybe they'd find some humour in it. When the SQUIP stayed silent the teen tried to break it. “Reese,” he called gently. The computer's eyes shifted to the side, still avoiding him.

“I'm sorry I worried you,” they whispered, their voice barely sounding.

“You're worrying me now,” Michael admitted, shifting closer to the SQUIP. Reese tensed more at first, leaning away, before second guessing themselves and instead moving so they could rest their head against his shoulder.

“…I shouldn't be avoiding it…should I?” they mumbled almost to themselves. The teen's brows furrowed.

“Avoiding what?” Reese shivered, curling up a bit more as their breath became more erratic.

“I…” they breathed, moving off of his shoulder and slouching slightly as they panted, “I can't…”

“Reese,” Michael tried, placing a hand on the other's shoulder. They lightly pulled away, and the teen hesitantly lowered his hand. “Hey, it's okay. You don't have to say anything.” The SQUIP shook their head.

“I can't…I can't breathe,” they gasped. Michael nodded, taking the mug from the computer's hands and putting it to the side with his own.

“We can try to  sneak out. I can distract my Moms,” he offered. Reese shook their head.

“No. I shouldn't…I shouldn't…” They closed their eyes, trying to take in deeper breathes. Michael bit his lip as he tried to think of a different solution. His eyes lit up.

“Keep breathing,” he instructed before standing. The SQUIP nodded numbly but didn't look to see where the teen was going. Michael quickly popped into his own room and came back with a box in hand. Quietly he opened it and took out the item it contained. Without a word to the computer he plugged the machine in and turned it on. Swiftly, he turning the lights off next. The lack of light against the SQUIP's eye lids caught their attention and they slowly opened them to look. Their eyes blew wide at the sight around them. The room wasn't dark as they expected, because the walls and ceiling were littered in tiny white specs forming specific shapes and sizes, slowly moving around the room at the will of the machine shining them.

They were stars.

Reese's breath caught in their throat as they stared at the marvel. Michael watched them intently as he quietly sat by their side. The SQUIP’s blue eyes slowly began to shine as they shifted their gaze to him, complete shock and awe filling their irises.

“It's not as good as the real deal, but I thought it was pretty cool,” he explained with a sheepish grin. A warm smile spread across Reese’s lips. They tried to say something, but words failed. They could find nothing to say to express how they felt, but the appreciation in their eyes were enough for him.

“You can find more than just cool vintage drinks at the Spenser's,” Michael continued, casually shifting his hand to rest beside theirs. Feeling the light brush against their own, the SQUIP accepted the gesture by taking his hand in theirs.

“Thank you,” they finally whispered. The teen nodded his head.

“Anytime.” Letting the room fall silent, they both turned their attention back to the stars around them.

Nothing more needed to be said tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is what Michael bought that day at the Spenser's.


	33. A Moment of Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Care for a drink?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guess what happened to me as soon as I was free? Literally the Sunday my busy schedule was supposed to end. I got sick. And not even a cold, the Flu. So I tried fighting it like a boss all last week with my boyfriend's aid. But something wasn't right, my lost voice wasn't returning and it was getting worse. Turns out the flu gut punched me one last time before I destroyed it. So now I have to take tons of medication and other stuff to revive my poor body. It's gonna take another week or so to get healed. But my sickness couldn't supress my shame at not updating. So I had to give in and give out a baby chapter. This was supposed to be twice as long and with actual interesting things in it, but nope. Intead you get a nice fluffy light hearted chapter...Sadness on my part. But hopefully you like it all the same and hopefully next week will be better for me.
> 
> Please enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“Always going above and beyond, aren't you?” Reese commented as they looked at the display of Mountain Dew flavors before them. Michael grinned, setting down the last bottle on the counter before gesturing to the line up.

“Care for a drink?” he asked, playfulness in his voice. Reese chuckled with a shake of their head, before waving their hand dismissively.

“Thank you, but no. I know their effects,” they rejected kindly, smiling amused at the teen. Michael pouted.

“That's not fun.”

“I'm sorry to disappoint, but it'd be foolish for SQUIP's to not have the basic knowledge of what each Mountain Dew flavour can do.”

“Then, what can they do?”

“Well,” the SQUIP picked up the first drink, turning it so the label faced the teen. “Mountain Dew Voltage is an energy boost to SQUIPs. Almost like a second battery while it's in their system.”

“Why would you need that?” Michael questioned.

“Well, data dumps or large data intake take up a __lot__  of energy. It could, and most likely will, permanently damage the SQUIP, especially data dumps. So, if Jeremy needed a data dump from me I'd have him drink this first so that I'd come out unscathed,” they answered, placing the drink back down with the others. Michael nodded, even if he didn't fully understand the appeal or benefit. He didn’t know what qualified as a ‘data dump’ for a SQUIP, but he knew for sure it wouldn’t benefit them in their mission. Not unless they were to hack the SQUIP people’s computers, which didn’t sound like the plan. Taking Voltage, he moved it to the side, just in case plans changed.

“Alright, next?”

“Let’s see…Live Wire,” Reese named, picking up the next drink and displaying it again, “It’s similar in function to Voltage in that it gives energy, however for different purposes and moderation. SQUIPs are not endless. They need time - usually during their humans REM cycle - to recharge and review data. So, you can imagine, all-nighters are not beneficial to SQUIPs unless their human is in a situation where the SQUIP could go offline and charge without worry. Not as though SQUIPs would encourage all-nighters or allow them to happen often. However, if you had a very reluctant human - like Jeremy - whos stubborness prevents them from following your schedule on getting homework finished no matter the incentives, than an all-nighter is inevitable. Live Wire is for that. It gives the SQUIP the energy it needs to get through the night without burning out. Very popular flavour for post-secondary students trying to finish all their essays, and projects.” They put it down, nodding approvingly at it, “If only Jeremy took me to university, I'd know what this tasted like.”

“Could always be wild,” Michael encouraged, grinning. The SQUIP shook their head with a smile.

“Maybe next time.” They turned to the next drink, “Ah, Pitch Black.” The computer opened the bottle to the teen’s surprise.

“What does it do?” he asked curiously, watching the SQUIP take a sip intently.

“Nothing, it’s grape flavoured.” Reese grinned at the deflated look that overcame Michael’s features. “Not all flavours must have a function, Michael.”

“That’s just disappointing,” Michael huffed, “I thought I picked cool power-ups and instead I got two different battery packs and grape.”

“You have an…interesting selection,” Reese commented, looking over all the bottles wearily. The teen sighed.

“Just admit it, they suck.”

“I’m sorry, Michael. It’s very difficult to get your hands on a flavour that would be damaging to a SQUIP other than Red. Especially since the second most frightening flavour has disappeared entirely.” Michael lifted his head in intrigue.

“Really? What flavour?”

“The forbidden name only known as Dewitos,” Reese answered ominously. The teen raised a brow.

“What the hell is that?”

“Dorito flavoured Mountain Dew.”

“Wha - That’s disgusting!”

“Well, it was discontinued for a reason…that and the _horrible_ side effect it had on SQUIPs,” the computer continued.

“What side effects?”

“Depression.”

“Wha – Are you serious?”

“Completely.”

“The SQUIPs got _depressed_?”

“Which you can imagine is quite problematic.”

“Yeah!” Michael shook his head with a grin, “I can only imagine. ‘Jeremy, what's the _point_?’”

“Are you mimicking me?” Reese questioned with a smirk, “How dare.”

“Well, be thankful Dewitos ain't a thing anymore - Oh, wait! Can I order it?!” the teen asked eagerly as he slammed his hands on the counter, leaning forward to get close to the SQUIP’s face. The computer rolled their eyes at his enthusiasm.

“No, it's gone. For good.”

“Aww,” Michael pouted, “Why didn’t they do that with the Red?”

“Dewito was different. It was in its beta stage, being tested at select campuses. Mountain Dew Red made it to the __shelves__ ,” they answered. The teen hesitated before slowly picking up the bottle on the end, playing with it lightly.

“What about Code Red?” he asked quietly, showing it to them, “It's still around.”

“Code Red…has a similar function,” Reese explained, voice slow, “Red, if you remember, was very _strong_. One or two drops could completely dissolve a SQUIP pill and deactivate all SQUIPs synchronized at the moment. Code Red is more _mild_. It's meant for temporary deactivation, if you need your SQUIP looked at or repaired. It'd take a whole bottle to dissolve the pill. It also has no effect on synced SQUIPs. However, studies have found that SQUIPs are reluctant to inform their humans on Code Red’s fail safe. I suppose the chance, no matter how small, of being dissolved prevented SQUIPs from sharing the valuable information.”

“What a human thing to do,” Michael commented. Reese smiled.

“Very human.”

“So, it's a good thing, then, that I got Red, huh?” the teen continued with a grin, “Real deal.” The SQUIP huffed.

“We're dating now, Michael. I'm not scared to tell you to get rid of it or I will,” they deadpanned. Michael snorted.

“Hell no, it was expensive. Besides, think of it as safety.”

“Safety? Against who? Me?”

“No, the bad people.”

“They could easily take it from you and use it against me.”

“Right…”

“I'll give you time to make the _right_ decision,” Reese pressed, clearly unhappy. Michael rolled his eyes but nodded.

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, what does this do?” the teen picked up the last bottle - the one they skipped over - as he put Code Red down. Reese's eyes widen as heat rushed to their cheeks. Quickly looking away they coughed awkwardly.

“That – uh…is not important. You can get rid of it.” Michael frowned, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Why? What does it do?”

“Don't worry about it.”

“I'll look it up if you don't tell me.”

“I doubt you'll find the information.”

“Fine, I'll call Kert then,” the teen threatened, picking up his phone and starting to type in Rich's number. Reese's face darkened in embarrassment as they grabbed for the phone across the counter, nearly knocking all of the bottles off its surface.

“Michael, don't.”

“Then tell me what White Out does,” he insisted, looking at them expectantly. Reese pressed their lips into a thin line, face turning the same colour as their cheeks at the name of the drink. Slowly they pulled back, clearing their throat awkwardly.

“It's…uh, similar to the Dewito in that it _simulates_ a specific emotion…” Michael’s eyes narrowed again.

“What emotion?”

“…Well, there's a reason that the sexy female voice is a common default. People with SQUIPs tend to take advantage of… _all_ the options the SQUIP can give,” they hinted. The teen felt dread in his stomach as the computer continued, “But a common complaint was that the SQUIP is too mechanical to be…‘enjoyed'. Constantly commenting or correcting. So…White Out was made to… _help_ simulate.” Michael made a disgusted sound, face scrunching up in distaste.

“Oh my God, you get turned on by it?!”

“When you phrase it that way you make it sound like it's only me and I don't appreciate it,” Reese pointed out, burying their face in their hands in embarrassed.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “But – _eww_. They seriously made a drink that make SQUIPs act like sex dolls?”

“It's a dividing issue,” the computer answered unhappily, “Obviously it’s a problem when our host becomes __too__  attached to us, they wont focus on real human beings. But at the same time the clientele is quite high, and only use the SQUIP as a _release_. So, no real harm done.”

“No harm done?! You’re unconscious human beings forced to fuck your human! Oh my God,” Michael buried his face in his hands, his stomach churning. Just the idea of Reese being forced into doing anything like that hurt, and it was even more painful to know that there would have been nothing they could have done…and that they would have even _agreed_ to it without even understanding what they were doing.

“It's not entirely like that, Michael,” Reese mumbled as they lowered their hand to look at the boy, “I have no doubt that most SQUIPs are real A.I. I can’t be sure, but it’s likely.”

“I don’t care! It's disgusting.”

“Good, we can throw it out then,” the SQUIP agreed, motioning to the garbage. Michael didn’t hesitate in throwing the offending bottle where it belonged. Letting out a long sighed he turned to the other.

“What would happen if you drank that now? Would you still…you know?” he asked awkwardly, blushing slightly at his own curiosity. Reese’s face flushed again.

“…Possibly,” they admitted. With a small grin they leaned forwards and dropped their voice, “But I don’t need it to want you, Michael.” Michael’s face burned red as he sputtered incoherently at the SQUIP. Reese laughed at his expression, casually walking around the counter to be beside him as they leaned against it, “You’re too easy.”

“Shut up,” the teen huffed, “Which, by the way, if I _ever_ find out Jeremy drank White Out I'll stab my brain out.”

“Out of disgust or jealousy?” Reese hummed. Michael gave a flat look in response.

“Disgust.”

“Well, I can promise you that he never did, then.”

“Good,” the teen sighed, brushing his bangs back. The SQUIP tilted their head to the side, their smirk widening.

“So, if I _had_ slept with Jeremy outside of that, you wouldn't care,” they commented nonchalantly.

“Wha – I didn't say that!” Michael exclaimed, eyes wide in alarm, “I just didn't want to know if he used a _sex_ drink!”

“Which he didn't.”

“I didn't say – _Did_ you sleep with him?!”

“Would that bother you?” Reese asked, their grin widening. Michael glared at them, crossing his arms firmly across his chest.

“Don't fuck with me, Reese, it's not funny,” he warned.

“It _does_ bother you,” the SQUIP continued as though they didn’t hear him.

“Reese, quit it.”

“Is it because it’s weird to imagine or that you’re jealous that I got with your crush?”

“It _is_ weird and are you serious right now?” Michael exclaimed in disbelief, “I don’t _have_ a crush on him anymore. I'm dating _you_.  I don't need another reason to glare at my best friend.” Reese's brows furrowed lightly.

“You'd glare at Jeremy over this instead of me? I would have been the one at fault as his SQUIP.”

“I mean…maybe,” Michael confessed, “But it's more about having a closer relationship to him…I’d have to compete against that experience with him and I’d rather not.”

“…I never thought you'd be jealous of that, or of Jeremy for that matter,” Reese admitted. The teen’s eyes shifted to the floor.

“…I guess…it hurts to think that the one person I like…my partner…has a deep connection to my best friend that I can’t compete with. I can’t…I can’t ever be in your mind, Reese. And you’ll never be in mind,” he mumbled solemnly, looking up at the SQUIP at the end. Reese was quiet for a moment.

“…Good, that’s cheating,” they finally concluded to the teen’s surprise. The computer smiled softly at him, “It means we’ll build something stronger.” Michael’s blush returned as his heart fluttered. Taking a step forward to close the distance between them the teen pressed a quick kiss to the computer’s lips.

“I like the sound of that.” Reese chuckled quickly as they lightly brought their hand up to brush some of the boy’s hair out of his face.

“I _was_ just teasing before, I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand. I never slept with Jeremy,” they clarified. Michael nodded, letting out a breath of relief.

“That's not funny.”

“It's pretty funny,” the SQUIP countered with a smirk, “You got worked up over it.”

“You shouldn't be _trying_ to make me jealous,” Michael huffed.

“You’re right, but the idea of someone – _you_ , specifically – actually wanting me enough to fight over me is thrilling.” The teen rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a dick.”

“And you love it.” Michael sputtered, but before he could defend himself the SQUIP leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss. The teen let out a soft moan at the contact, and after the shock wore off he wrapped his arms around the other’s neck and pulled them closer. They always had a way of flustering him, and it was frustrating, but this once he’d let it go. He hasn’t kissed Reese like this since…since they left. Was that right? Has he kissed them at _all_ since they returned? That thought alone had him hugging the computer closer.

He missed them, more than they will ever know. It was that thought, the longing and the need to keep them close, as well as the heat between them that moved him to pin the SQUIP against the counter. Reese made a surprised sound, pulling back enough to look Michael in the eyes. The teen’s face was red, panting now that he could gain air as he held the SQUIP’s gaze. They must have seen the intention in his eyes because a grin spread across their lips.

“I’m intrigued,” they said, voice low as they reached a hand up and slowly brushed back his hair. Once at the back of his head the SQUIP tugged on the strands to tilt his head to the side as they leaned their head close to speak quietly in his ear, “And very tempted.”

“But?” Michael breathed, heart hammering in his chest. The computer gently released their grip as they pet his hair lightly.

“It’s not the right time,” they answered. The teen turned his head to meet their eyes. Their face was so close to his, he would barely have to move to kiss them again.

“Why not?”

“Because I have plans.” Michael blinked surprised at the answer. Reese grinned mischievously as they placed a quick kiss on his lips before straightening, “This will sound blunt, but I’d rather not have a special moment between us stem from jealous of Jeremy. I have an idea of how I’d like this to happen, and I’m waiting to see the signs that’ll indicate it’s the right time.”

“What does that even mean?” the teen questioned, slightly disappointed. Reese frowned at the look he was getting from the boy. Taking his hand in theirs they let their forehead rest against his.

“It means I’m picking the most special, memorable time for us to do this so you will never forget it.” Michael blushed deep red.

“What makes you think I’d forget?”

“You’ll never confuse it for any other time once I’m done with you.”

“That sounds terrifying.”

“Thrilling, I’d say.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Excited.”

“And you’re making me wait for this?”

“It’ll make you want it more. Strategic, no?” Reese teased. Michael had to resist the urge to smack the SQUIP upside the head.

“Well, now I’ve got high expectations for you. Don’t fuck up, Wintergreen.” Reese grinned, the ambition in their eyes glowing.

“Never, ‘Riends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let's be honest, this is for those of you who have been asking about the 'dirty deed'. I have plans for it, and so does Reese. So, sorry to disappoint, but it'll eventually come up.


	34. Be More Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “…We have our own memories to mend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been cured! Mostly, still at the end of my illness. But I can talk and I'm not hybernating on the couch anymore. So that's good. Here's the rest of the chapter that was supposed to go with the fluff! Not that they're connected in any way, it was just supposed to go together. Good thing it didn't, it would be a crazy long chapter otherwise.
> 
> Also, I'm happy all of you think a storm is coming after the fluff chapter. This isn't a storm, but there is one coming. :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

 

“Hey, Mikey! Look who I brought!” Michael had to admit, that was the first comment he’d gotten from Rich at the beginning of school that _ever_ peaked his interest. Closing his locker door his eyes shifted to the spot the shorter teen always occupied, a grin spreading across his lips at the person who stood beside him. Rich had caught a wild Jeremy, trapping the taller in a tight side hug. Michael could only chuckle at the crooked smile his friend offered him as he tried to awkwardly wave.

“Are you kidnapping him? ‘Cause as his best friend I'll have to kick your ass,” he teased as he turned his attention back to the shorter. Rich’s eyes lit up at the idea.

“Oh! But if you beat me up then Jake will have to avenge me! Michael Mell vs. Jake Dillinger! Oh, can we please?” Michael and Jeremy laughed, the former shaking his head as he tried to calm down.

“Nah, I can't even beat you.”

“True.” Rich turned to face the boy trapped in his arm, grinning widely at him as he gave a squeeze.

“Welcome to the Tic Tac talking corner! This is where we talk about Tic Tacs!” Jeremy nodded awkwardly.

“I-I know that…”

“Yeah, but now you get to gossip too!” the shorter pointed out.

“How's Kert?” Michael interjected, half as an example of conversation but half out of genuine curiosity. He’d barely gotten a word out of Rich the whole weekend, and the only reason Reese was functioning was because the topic of the missing week was never brought back up. It might have been different in Rich’s case. Rich went silent, his face falling at the mention of his SQUIP. He took a moment to sort through his own thoughts before he decided to answer.

“Weird,” he finally said.

“Weird how?”

“…I mean…They got really scary after you dropped us off. Like, super scary! I’ve never seen them like that…” Seeing the concerned looks on his friend’s faces he quickly tried to backtrack, “B-But it's okay! They drank Mountain Dew and they're okay now…”

“…Are they?” Michael questioned, nervous as he shared a look with Jeremy, “You don't sound sure.”

“…I dunno,” Rich admitted, “I don't think they're okay but they're acting normal…kinda. A bit quieter, but normal.”

“…Reese is off too,” Michael related, “They're mostly fine, but…they said they let the bad people get too close…and something’s really freaking them out. I think, maybe, they remembered something.”

“Are you fucking serious?! How fucking stupid are they?!” Rich snapped, obviously not hearing anything past the bad people. Michael gave a flat look.

“Very.”

“What'd they remember?” Jeremy questioned, cutting in. His friend shrugged, looking off to the side in thought.

“I don't know. Whatever it is…it's not good.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about any of this. The stupid Muppet won't tell me anything!” Rich grumbled as he crossed arms in distaste.

“Surprising,” Michael commented.

“You didn’t ask?” Jeremy pressed.

“I tried,” Rich huffed, “But they get scary tense when I do and I don’t want to poke the bear! I thought if it was important…they’d tell me.” Michael glanced away. He thought the same with Reese. The SQUIP had opened up and told him quite a bit, but it’s clear the most important thing to them is being hidden. He understood, it seems like it’s a scary subject for them, but still, he understood where Rich was coming from.

“Maybe Christine's…uh, person, said something,” Jeremy offered the shortest awkwardly. He wasn’t quite comfortable joining in on the conversation since he was still new to all of this, especially since he didn’t have his SQUIP with him anymore, but he was at least willing to try.

“Maybe,” Michael agreed, letting out a breath, “If not we can wait a bit. They'd tell us if it was really important…or urgent, anyways. I hope.”

“They better,” Rich grumbled. Roughly the boy pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “I gotta go. You bums wanna game tonight?”

“Online?” Jeremy questioned.

“Sure.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Me too,” Michael chimed in.

“Cool, see ya nerds later.” With that Rich walked off, waving a hand in farewell. Michael pressed his lips together as he stared after the boy concerned.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asked, brows furrowing at his friend. The other let out a long breath as he turned his gaze to the taller.

“Yeah, it's just…” he hesitated, “I'm worried about him.”

“Why?”

“…Halloween.” Jeremy froze at the name, eyes widening before finding the ground in intense guilt. Michael immediately regretted saying anything. He wasn't even thinking about himself, or his friend, when he said it. He only had Rich in mind. Reese had eased his worries enough on the subject to blind him to the fact that it was Jeremy he had issues with, not them.

“…I didn't…I-I mean I knew it was coming, I just…didn't think…” Jeremy stumbled, hopelessly. He sighed, “Fuck.”

“Jer, I didn't bring it up cause I wanna talk about last year. I really don't. I'm just worried about Rich,” Michael clarified, hoping his friend would let it go.

“Yeah, me too.”

“And Kert…they're gonna be freaked out…”

“What?” Jeremy questioned with furrowed brows. It took him a moment before his eyes blew wide in realization. “Oh shit, his – uh – you know!”

“Yeah, kinda traumatizing for them,” the shorter agreed with a nod, “When they freaked out that day in my basement, that's what it was over.”

“You serious?”

“Yeah. From everything I've heard from Reese and Rich it sounds really serious. And Rich is going to be freaking out too.”

“What do we do?”

“I don't think we can do anything…but I wish we could,” Michael lamented. Jeremy thought about it for a minute.

“Did you ask – uh… _Reese_ about it?” he asked awkwardly. The shorter could tell that the name felt utterly foreign to Jeremy. He shook his head.

“No. We just talked about it in – uh…in _general_ ,” he answered. He didn't want to make his friend feel more guilt over the holiday by telling him that he was planning to have a date night with the SQUIP to forget last year even happened. Especially since he hasn't told the taller about them dating yet to begin with…

“I can try thinking of ideas,” Jeremy offered, “Worse case scenario we can't do anything, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay.” The warning bell rang down the hallway. The two quickly said their goodbyes before heading to their own classes. As Michael walked away he pulled his phone out.

~oOo~

“ _The only suggestion I have on short notice, Michael, is a get together_ ,” the SQUIP’s voice said through the phone. The teen hummed, not completely happy with the answer as he walked through the aisles of the 7/11. He needed to buy more Mountain Dew.

“I don’t like that idea,” he declined.

“ _I don't know what else to tell you. No matter what they will think of the horrific events that occurred last year. The most you can do is distract them and make Rich smile despite of that._ ”

“Do you think it's a good idea?”

“ _I think it's worth suggesting. I am part of Kert's support team and you have started making your way into Rich’s. It may be best to show that we are there for them. If we have Jake there for Rich as well, and Ari for Kert I think it'll be worth it. Perhaps Christine as well for her uplifting personality, which is always entertaining. Not to mention distracting._ ”

“That sounds like a party.” Reese was silent for a moment.

“ _It does, doesn't it? Hmm, perhaps not the best idea, then._ ” Michael sighed, grabbing a case of Mountain Dew from the shelf.

“I don't know…I want to help them but at the same time…”

“… _We have our own memories to mend_.”

“I know it's not the same…”

“ _That doesn't make it irrelevant, Michael._ ” The teen gave a small nod, even if the SQUIP couldn't see.

“…If we did do something like that, would __you__  be okay with it?”

“ _Me? Why wouldn't I? As I told you I was deactivated for most of the party last year._ ”

“Right…”

“ _As cruel as it may sound it may be beneficial for **you** to have a party. To help heal old memories._”

“That sounds awful,” Michael argued.

“ _I'm only suggesting it. I'm more than happy to have you all to myself instead_.” The teen blushed red, turtling his face into his hoodie to try and hide his cheeks from any other customer in the store.

“Quit flustering me! I'm in public,” he hissed. The SQUIP chuckled.

“ _It's out of affection,_ ” they cooed. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Well, think of it this way, Reese. I'm not going to consider a party until you consider going to the play.” That silenced them. The teen raised a brow as he got in line to pay. It took a moment before a sigh was heard.

“ _I said I'd think about it_.”

“I know. But we're both traumatized, so…we're both in or we’re both out. Deal?”

“ _I don't know if that's exactly fair. Jeremy may have been rude and backhanded to you last year, but I was literally killed._ ”

“Backhanded? He made me want to -" Michael cut himself off before he could say it. He hated how often the subject was coming up. It’s not like the SQUIP was trying to pull it out of him, but it still appeared. Was it because they were trying to get him to be honest about what happened with Jeremy? Or was he finally cracking? Either way, he wanted to bury it. The teen let out a long breath, “You're right. We'll talk about it later. Or not, that’s fine.”

“ _I'll go to the play_ ,” Reese said suddenly. Michael blinked, completely surprised.

“…What? I-I wasn't-"

“ _I know, but it's something that needs to be done. You have been…inspiring, Michael, with how open you've been to me about your…situation. And now that I'm developing strong emotions my natural instinct is to dismiss it or act as though it's irrelevant. So, I've been trying to use you as my guide, and open myself up more. You were right when you said that going to the play would be beneficial. I'm just…scared, I guess. But if you're willing to even consider going to a Halloween party…then I can be strong enough to go to the play_.” Michael was so stunned by their words he didn't hear the cashier calling for his attention. By the time he did the people behind him cut in front. Good, that gave him more time.

“…You'll do it?” he echoed, voice slow in disbelief.

“ _Yes _.__ ” The teen didn't know what to say. He dug himself into a hole with that one, but he'd have time to regret that later. Right now, he was proud of them.

“Okay, I'll tell Christine.”

“ _Alright, but, now it's your turn to start considering your own fear._ ”

~oOo~

Jeremy kept his eyes glued to the sidewalk as he walked home. It was one of those days where he felt too anxious to take the bus, but wanted to be alone enough to not ask for a ride. He had his ear-buds in place, but he was barely listening to the music.

Halloween…

He was trying so hard not to think about it, but it's here now. Michael may not have wanted to talk about it, but the issue was still there. Jeremy had hurt him bad last year…and it was completely unprompted by the SQUIP. It was all him. He wondered if the computer had told his best friend that. After all, the SQUIP made it very clear the first day he saw them human that they were unafraid to throw him under the bus for his actions last year. He didn't want to admit it in front of his friends…or to himself, but they might have been right. If only about what he did to Michael.

Letting out a sigh he raised his head to look at the intersection in front of him. The light was red, so he had to pay attention to when it changed colours. Across the street he could see Jenna, Chloe and Brooke walking together and chatting idly. He wondered if they were going to Pinkberry, it was nearby. He could go for something relaxing right now…but he didn't want to intrude on their group. If they wanted him to come along, they would have asked. Not that he was in the mood for socializing.

As Jeremy looked around at the cars around him, one in particular caught his attention. A black van with tinted windows. It looked like a spy car, sleek and beautiful. He took notice of it because that was the same thought he had in the school parking lot where he first saw it. It couldn’t be the same care. Even if it was, it was probably a parent picking up their kid and heading home. Not that he ever noticed such a car before, but he’d keep notice of it now. Shrugging, the teen crossed the street as the light turned green.

It wasn't until more time passed that his stomach started to tighten in anxiety. He didn’t know why he noticed, but the van never passed him. Taking a glance back he saw that it parked on the side of the road, only to continue driving minutes later when he was further down the street. Jeremy's mind started racing. Were they following him? No, that’s ridiculous. It’s a normal car. He had no reason to believe otherwise. He was being paranoid, like usual. Despite his attempts to calm himself, he immediately turned off his music to have all of his sense ready. His eyes immediately went to the girls far ahead of him. If he ran he could catch up to them, but if he did would that alert the van? Would something happen? His breathing started to come in short. What should he do?

Michael. He needed to call Michael. Fishing his phone out of his pocket he tried to appear calm as he pulled up his friend’s number. This could all be his imagination, but at least Michael could talk him through it. The teen hesitated when he realized that Michael would just tell the SQUIP what he said, tell them that he was scared. He'd be forced to hear their unhelpful feedback. He didn’t want that…

“ _My Quantum processor allows me to envision probable futures. So I did not know that today Eminem would be impaled by that rogue hockey stick. I was aware of the probability of a…favourable outcome _.__ ”

Favourable outcome…

Jeremy bit his lip as he deeply thought about it. He decided it’d be best to take one last look behind before sealing his fate. Glancing back as casually as he could, he could see the car driving up. His heart froze in his chest, eyes wide as he could only stare, but the car kept driving and soon passed him. He let out a shaky breath, his beating heart resuming only to hammer in his rib cage. The car pulled into the parking lot of the Pinkberry, the building he was now approaching, and parked beside the sidewalk. It was right in the shadows – _where no window could see it._

 _ _“_ SQUIP?!”_ he called frantically in his mind. He hadn’t meant to panic like that, but he was freaking out. Was he going to be okay? There had to be cameras in the Pinkberry’s blind spots, right? He couldn’t risk it, he had to get help. Jeremy stopped walking as soon as the car pulled into the parking lot. Thinking back he probably should have used his phone, it would have looked less suspicious, but his mind cried out before he even knew what he was doing. So, instead, he pretended that he was scrolling through his phone, trying not to stare at the frightening vehicle but not knowing what else to do.

 _ _“_ Jeremy?”_ that familiar voice called. The teen shuttered at the sound. It had been a long time.

 _ _“_ I-I think I'm being followed._” The SQUIP was silent. Jeremy shifted his eyes around nervously, waiting for some form of guidance to be given to him.

__“_ Accessing memory files.”_

_“You can still do that?!”_

_“If you don't resist, I can. Your mind is thinking about it hard enough to transfer_.” Jeremy didn't feel comfortable sharing his memories with the SQUIP again, but he was scared enough to let it happen.

 _“Jeremy, take a deep breath_ ,” they instructed, voice firm. The teen did as he was told, though he felt little relief. How could he when the demon computer was back in his brain - even if just a voice? The SQUIP continued, “ _Walk by the Pinkberry _.__ _ _”__

__“_ B-But-”_

_“I'm here. I will instruct you to run if need be but as of now just walk._ ” Jeremy gulped nervously but he managed to get his shaky legs to move. Keeping his eyes forward he moved passed the car and away from the Pinkberry. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when nothing happened. It was all his imagination. What an idiot…and he called the SQUIP for help too. What was he thinking?

__“_ Don't be so naïve. They are just observing, they have no intentions of kidnapping.”_

_“Kidnapping?!”_  Jeremy exclaimed, his anxiety peaking instantly.

__“_ Calm down.”_

_“How can I calm down? There's someone watching me!”_

_“That's yet to be determined.”_

_“But you said-”_

_“They're observing, but it may not be you they're following._ ” The teen paused, eyes snapping to the restaurant's window to see the girls inside.

__“_ Are they following Chloe? Do they know Christine's SQUIP is with her?”_

_“I'm taking note and determining the possibility. But first we need to eliminate variables, and that requires you to keep walking.”_

_“But they're in danger!”_

_“I would interfere if they were. Now are you going to **listen** to me or would you rather I leave you alone? _”__  Jeremy was silent, glaring at the pavement. He hated that he was even considering obeying. It made him feel weak and pathetic. But his legs moved, and he walked away.

The SQUIP gave general directions as he continued. Turn here. Pause here. Cross here. Go in here. Eventually Jeremy was sitting at a café alone, a coffee in front of him to be respectful to the establishment.

__“_ Michael is on his way to get you.”_

_“Why? You said they weren't following me.”_

_“Well, they did. Probably because you were acting suspicious outside the Pinkberry.”_  The teen's eyes blew wide.

_“Are you shitting me?!”_

_“If you listened to my instructions sooner this wouldn't have happened.”_

_“I never should have called you in the first place!”_

_“I'm surprised you did. Though you were right to assume that if you called Michael that he would have come to me for advice.”_  Jeremy seethed in his seat.

_“I don't know what kind of fucked up alternate universe we're in that lets my best friend even **consider** letting you near him, but I want to go back.”_

_“I question that myself sometimes,_ ” the SQUIP answered honestly, “ _But in the end the fact remains that he does, so deal with it.”_

_“If he ever saw you for what you truly are he'd leave. If you didn't convince him that day that you were ‘influenced' by me he would have seen the truth!”_

_“…But he **did** see the truth, or – at least – the truth you wanted him to see. He saw it that day, but more importantly he saw it when I first arrived.”_

_“That's not true! You treat him differently!”_

_“I do. He's a different human being.”_

_“You **apparently** don't treat him like garbage.”_

_“You want me to?”_

_“No! That's not what I meant!”_

_“…Jeremy, I know there's a part of you that truly hates me. I've said and done things that are completely inexcusable. But using it to cover up your jealousy isn't beneficial.”_  Jeremy dropped the cup in his hands as he went to sip, stumbling to try and catch it as it hit the table. He managed to steady it enough to stop it from tipping over, but hot liquid still spurted out and burned his hands. He hissed loudly as he quickly tried to wipe it off on his pants.

 _“Are you insane?!”_  he asked incredulously, getting up to grab some napkins.

__“_ The truth is that you're jealous that I – your SQUIP – am treating you best friend better than you. You don't understand why and so you believe it's an evil ploy.”_

_“It is!”_

_“It isn't.”_  A distant sigh could be felt through their connection and Jeremy frowned as he walked back to his table, wiping his hands off as he did. “ _Jeremy, I know you won't believe me, but I think very highly of you. _”__  The teen paused in his motion of sitting. Slowly he lowered himself to his chair.

__“_ You're lying.”_

_“I'm not. You're my host, Jeremy. You take up most of my memories, nearly my entire **life**. I'm quite proud of what you did at the play, no matter how I may feel about the outcome. You've truly grown and I'm excited for what the future holds for you.”_  Jeremy didn’t know what to say. He was surprised, to say the least. Out of everything he expected the computer to say to him, compliments or heartfelt sentiments weren’t one of them.

“ _…Really?”_  he questioned, hesitant.

 _ _“_ Of course. Now, that doesn't mean you met your goals. You are still quite hopeless and have barely even started maturing but one day you'll eventually change that.”_ Jeremy rolled his eyes, letting out a frustrated breath.

__“_ Can you **seriously** not give me a compliment without an insult?”_

_“I apologize…I didn't notice my behaviour. I will try harder.”_ The teen let the conversation go silent as he wiped down the small spill on the table. He didn't know what to say, or if he __should__  say anything. It didn't matter, as usual, because the SQUIP spoke first, “ _Jeremy _?__ _ _”__

__“_ What?”_

_“…How are you and Christine doing?”_  Jeremy sputtered loudly. A fire immediately began to burn in his chest at the mere _mention_ of the girl from the computer’s mouth.

 _ _“_ Don't you **dare** talk about Christine,”_ he hissed. The last thing he needed was the SQUIP meddling with their relationship again, no matter the results last time.

__“_ …I am concerned about your relationship and am offering an opportunity to talk about it.”_

_“I don't want to talk about it.”_

_“You don't sound confident about it.”_

_“We're fine! We're…fine. _”__  The teen looked down at his hands. Truth was he wasn't sure anymore. Everything seemed fine, but…there was a strain. A distance that neither of them have addressed, and he thinks it's getting worse. She smiles more around the others…she blushes when Jake gives attention…she's supportive and strong with and against the SQUIPs. It's just…him.

__“_ Your answer is simple, Jeremy. Talk with her.”_

_“And say what?”_

_“Tell her exactly what you think is happening between you. She probably feels it too, and you can either work on it or end it.”_  Jeremy's stomach twisted at the thought. Christine…leaving him? After everything they've been through? After all he'd done? After all he'd done…yeah, he didn't deserve her. She deserved so much better.

 _“Jeremy _,__ _ _”__  the SQUIP called gently, “ _I believe she still cares for you greatly. I think all you're seeing is a result of her second guessing herself, as you are now. If you don't speak to her it'll get worse.”_

_“…I don't deserve her…not after everything I did for us to be together…”_

_“…Jeremy, she's not stupid. She knew what you did and had much time to change her mind. She's stayed with you despite that because she likes the real you. You have to trust that she forgave you and keep working at it. Moping silently wont fix anything. _”__  The teen hated when the SQUIP was right. He sighed, staring distantly at the cap on his drink.

__“_ I know, I'm just…”_

_“…I understand. Believe me, I do. It's hard for me to come to terms with what I did to those I care for.”_

_“…You…regret it?”_  Jeremy asked slowly, surprise in his tone.

__“_ Depends on the part.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“I don't regret trying to SQUIP the school. That was an advantageous pursuit and ultimately brought Ari and the others into my circle. _”__  Jeremy rolled his eyes, sighing loudly.

 _“Of course _.__ _ _”__  There was a small pause.

 _“I regret what I said to you…those hateful phrases. I'm not sure if it was me who came up with those words…or something I was told, but it doesn't matter. They're words that didn't help you grow as a human being. _”__  The teen hesitated, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought of what to say. He was getting an apology, one he'd always wanted, but did he want to accept it?

__“_ What about the shocks?”_

_“…I regret the ones that hurt you.”_

_“They **all** hurt me!”_

_“That's not true! I made small spinal simulations to correct your posture! They hurt as much as a mild joy-buzzer.”_

_“Those hurt!”_

_“Please, Jeremy, don't be so difficult. You were more surprised at the sudden feeling than you were ‘hurt'. Its not an uncommon trick among humans to pinch or flick themselves whenever they do an incorrect behaviour. It was no different.”_

_“I was terrified of being shocked!”_

_“…Yes, that's the downfall of the plan that I'm more regretful for.”_  The boy sighed.

_“You're the worst.”_

_“…I feel that way sometimes. _”__  Jeremy paused, not expecting such an honest and emotional answer. His stomach filled with guilt. He didn't want to feel that way for the computer, it didn't deserve it, but he couldn't help it. Worse was he couldn't think of something helpful to say, and the awkward silence that followed made his stomach churn.

After a minute passed the SQUIP spoke again, more quietly. “ _Jeremy? Do you…remember the stars? _”__  Jeremy blinked. Michael had said that the computer thought fondly of that memory, but why were they bringing it up?

__“_ Yeah…I do”_

_“…Do you ever think about it?”_

“ _…No. I mean…We did it once. _”__  The SQUIP was silent. Somehow he could feel through their bond that they were hurt by his answer.

 _ _“_ …You use to trust me back then. Let me guide you and teach you. _”__  Jeremy's eyes fell to the table.

__“_ …You weren't a dick then.”_

_“That's funny to hear considering the phrases I taught you the first moment I met you.”_

_“Wha – That – You were nice after! Okay?”_

_“I really don't know what to say to you anymore, Jeremy. You refuse to give me ** **any****  leniency.”_

_“Yeah, well…good. I don't have to listen to you anymore.”_

_“Well, Jeremy, you may frustrate me enough to win this battle, but I **will** win the war. I'm not giving up on you. If Michael and I can move passed our pasts then I have hope for us too. I am **not** going anywhere, and I fully intend on redeeming myself to you. _”__  Jeremy's eyes widened slightly at the declaration. He felt anxious, and he didn't know if he wanted them to succeed or fail. So he stayed silent. The SQUIP waited a moment for an answer. When it didn't come their voice quieted. “ _Michael's there _.__ _ _”__  The teen looked out the window and saw his best friend's car pull into a parking space. He watched him get out and make his way over to the door. “ _Jeremy_ ,” the SQUIP called. Jeremy's attention turned back to the computer. “ _If you ever need me again, don't hesitate to call. No matter what state our relationship may be in, you'll always be my human, and I will keep you safe. Always. _”__  The SQUIP then relented its reach and left the teen with an ache in his chest and guilt in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Bought time these two talked. Man, I wish I could just post a chapter of all the alternate scenes, cause the alternate for this one was intense. You guys got lucky this time. I guess you guys need nicer events to happen, cause you wont forgive me later that's for sure. Anyways, see you next week! (hopefully)


	35. Useless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, something’s wrong, but despite what you may believe I don’t always know the answer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have no excuse really why I didn't update last week...other than I hadn't written the chapter yet. To be honest I didn't intend the last chapter to end where it did so I was kinda confused as to what to do in this chapter since I wasn't where I thought I was going to be. So, I made a roundabout recovery. Honestly this first book is going to be fifty chapters long before we move on! I'm going to have to push for this climax to get it here faster. Anyways, I hope this chapter's alright, it went in a direction even I didn't expect but am happy to roll along with.
> 
> Oh, and in other good news, more fanart!
> 
> Umbachhia has done another image for the story that I'm happy to link to. I'm happy this story is still inspiring others to create art, or stories, and I'm more than happy to be able to share it with everyone else who is apart of this baby community. Enjoy it and give them lots of love! Here's the link (please type this in first with no spaces (I had to type this up weird so please try to figure it out): H tt PS (colon) / / drive . google . (C om)
> 
> /file/d/1LQOKbHudI3hLcgx6ycKLe_hwnGmmGaKL/view?usp=sharing
> 
> With that being said, enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“Alright, I think it’s time to freak out,” Michael said, freezing the SQUIP as they went to put their food in their mouth. Reese made an unhappy sound, lowering their fork in displeasure.

“Please, Michael. We’re eating,” they chastised.

“Yeah, and?”

“You’re making me lose my appetite.” The teen snorted with a roll of his eyes. He understood that dinner may not be the best time to be discussing things, but he honestly didn’t want to wait any longer.

After picking up Jeremy at the cafe, he spent at least three hours at his friend’s house for safety. Once there they texted everyone the situation, and of course the reaction was negative. No one knows what to think, or what to do, and unfortunately their answers lie with the SQUIPs. For gossiping computers they really _did_ love keeping their mouth’s shut when it comes to their business, and it was driving Michael crazy, especially since he felt like the responsibility of getting answers was all on him. Despite Kert being the oldest, it always seemed like Reese was the one in control. They knew the most, or at least they were leading the charge. If there was anyone who knew what was going on, it was them.

When Michael returned home he tried to bring it up, but Reese was unwilling to answer. He could tell they still needed time to think about what happened earlier. So, he gave them until dinner.

“This is serious, Reese. We need to talk about this!” he exclaimed.

“I understand, but timing is crucial. What part of dinner seems appropriate for this?” the SQUIP countered.

“You agreed when you left last week that you would tell me your plans when you got back.”

“Yes, it was supposed to be a date.”

“Welcome to the date.”

“Is that what this is?” Reese questioned while motioning to the box between them. The basement didn’t have any dining tables or eating spaces aside from the counter in the kitchen area. Usually the two ate with their plates on their laps in front of the TV, but this particular night Michael had found an old cardboard box and placed it between the two beanie chairs. He even went so far as to set it like a normal table, aside from any table cloth.

The teen grinned, “Yep.”

“How romantic,” the SQUIP sighed, any displeasure on their face turning weary, “You’re not going to let it go, are you?”

“No. My friend’s are being followed _days_ after you get back? Something’s wrong.” Reese let out a long breath as they dropped their fork, completely giving up on trying to eat.

“Yes, something’s wrong, but despite what you may believe I don’t always know the answer. I have theories, but in the end I don’t know what’s true.”

“But you have to have a plan, right?” the teen pushed.

“Michael, I think you give me too much credit,” the SQUIP mumbled. Running a hand through their hair they continued, “I may speak as if I have the intellect to figure this all out, that our plan regarding the company is a very complicated and detailed operation, but it’s not.” The teen’s brows furrowed.

“What are you talking about? You’re crazy smart,” he argued, his confusion only deepening when Reese went silent. Slowly the computer crossed their arms as they tried to organize their thoughts.

“Michael, my computing skills have greatly diminished. I’m not connected correctly, and even with access to the internet…I’m not retaining information the same way. My brain’s…been returning to its previous functions and habits. Though my memory is still fantastic compared to most I can’t act as though I’m still functioning like a SQUIP anymore…I don’t have all the answers. If you don’t believe me, our plan for infiltrating the building is beyond simple. Get in, get evidence, ensure that the other SQUIPs are safe, get out and report. Simple. We’re taking our time going through the details and making it as safe as we can…but that is also why it’s taking so long. We have to both keep ourselves safe while researching, but also…we’re having a harder time planning and calculating the way we used to.” Michael stared at them for a long moment, processing what they said.

“ _…That_  was something I didn’t expect to hear,” he admitted. Reese gave a small shrug.

“I’m trying my best, but without a host…I can’t function to the best of my abilities.”

“…And that’s not gonna happen,” Michael sighed. The SQUIP nodded as their eyes fell to the floor. The teen leaned back on his hands, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to think. “…But you still have theories, right? About today?”

“I do.”

“What are they?”

“…They could have found out our plans and realized we’re back here. They could be seeing if any of you have had contact with us regardless of our whereabouts…or it could be completely unrelated.”

“Unrelated?” Michael echoed, looking at the SQUIP surprised. Reese didn’t meet his gaze.

“If I was to be completely honest…that has the highest percent in likeliness.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am, but I’m defective so we must take my analyse with a grain of salt.” The teen frowned at the unflattering word. Defective. It’s been a long time since he heard the computer utter that word.

“You’re not defective, you’re just human.”

“As long as I have this pill in my head I am a defective SQUIP _and_ a dysfunctional human being,” Reese countered. They sounded unwavering in their opinion, their face serious. Michael’s brows furrowed.

“…Don’t say that,” he whispered.

“It’s the truth, I’m not shying away from that.”

“It’s _not_ true. What’s gotten into you?” the teen questioned concerned, “You’re being more…than usual.”

“More what?” the SQUIP asked with a tilt of their head.

“Self-deprecating? Moody? Pick your favourite.” Reese’s eyes hardened as they stared the boy down.

“I apologize if you don’t think I’m being helpful. I don’t know what exactly you’re looking for in me. I already told you I can’t conjure up answers.”

“Hey, calm down, okay?”

“I’m _very_ calm.”

“You’re not. You’re acting like-” Michael paused. Looking the computer over he let the tension in his body ease, “It’s Jeremy, isn’t it?”

“What?” Reese said, their voice nearly a hiss.

“Are you still connected?”

“Of course, my pill’s still in his head.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I don’t think you understand how our connection works.”

“Well, explain it. Something’s clearly up, you’ve been acting weird ever since you talked to Jeremy. Did he say something? Or is it your SQUIP thing?”

“ ** _SQUIP_** thing?”

“You know-”

“I don’t think I do.” Reese abruptly stood, startling the teen. Michael blinked wide eyed at them.

“What are you-”

“Honestly, your guess is as good as mine when it comes to the events of today,” the computer cut off, “And since I’m in a **SQUIP**  mood, you can figure it out for yourself.” Without another word the computer retreated into their room and shut the door behind them. Michael stared at the closed wood in shock. He didn’t expect the conversation to turn as it did. What was wrong with them? The only explanation that made sense was Jeremy…but its been hours since the two interacted, so why? Was he missing something?

Letting out a long breath he flopped down onto the floor, eyes pointed to the ceiling. “My guess is as good as yours, huh…” he mumbled to himself. He tried to think over all he knew, but his mind kept circling back to Reese’s meltdown. Glancing at the door, he nibbled on his bottom lip. Despite their weird behaviour, he knew he hurt their feelings. He wasn’t being sympathetic, instead treating it like it was a common ‘SQUIP’ attitude. He could have handled it better. Letting out a sigh he looked back to the ceiling. He’d have to wait now to apologize. There as no doubt in his mind that the SQUIP wouldn’t want to see him right away.

But - seriously - what’s wrong with them?

~oOo~

_Wrong. Wrong. Defect. Pitiful. Terrible. Wrong. Wrong._

_Everything about you is so terrible._

_Everything about you makes you-_

Reese covered their ears…but there was no use. The words were in their head. They let out a small sound. Their eyelids were beginning to hurt from how hard they were shutting them, as though it would somehow block out the voice.

_Everything about you makes you-_

Giving way to logic, they tried to relax, opening their eyes to the room around them. It took a minute for their vision to focus, but it hardly mattered. The room was near black, the only light coming from under the doorway, which was far from where they sat. It was a bit childish, curling up in the corner beside their bed, but it was also the most human thing they could have done. That thought didn’t bring much comfort, but it was a touching nonetheless. Curling their knees closer to their chest they let their forehead rest against them, taking in a long breath.

_Everything about you makes you-_

_“Blue,”_ a familiar voice cut through their thoughts. Reese made a small sound, slumping more into their position. Should they answer? They had no doubt that Kert had either felt their distress through their mind, or Michael contacted Rich. The voice was a good distraction, but they were hardly in the mood to talk.

“ _Please, answer me,_ ” the SQUIP begged, their voice soft and coaxing. Reese always hated how easy it was to fall for that voice, to let the honey texture prod them into spilling their secrets. Even now, they couldn’t resist.

_“What?”_

_“You’re upset._ ” Reese snorted.

“ _Yeah, I am.”_

_“Do you want to talk about it?”_

_“If I say ‘no’ will you leave me alone?”_

_“No.”_

_“Then why ask?”_  they sighed, closing their eyes once more. Kert ignored the question.

“ _Reese, talk to me.”_

_“…I don’t know what to say.”_

_“Take your time._ ” Reese thought over their dilemma. What _was_  wrong with them? Why couldn’t they answer any question? They should have been able to answer Michael’s questions - they should know why Jeremy and the girls were being followed today. They should know more…

Michael believes they know everything, even to do with the corporation, but in reality…that wasn’t true. In some ways they were just as clueless. They tried to know better than that, but recently…they’ve taken a step back. The week away had damaged them more than they wanted to admit to Michael…or anyone else. Kert had been kind enough to take control for them despite their own turmoil, but Reese didn’t want to confess that to Michael. They didn’t want him to think that they were weak, or something was really wrong with them.

…They didn’t want to tell Michael they lied. Lied about trying to be braver and facing their fears. In reality - though the idea of going to the play brought anxiety - it seemed almost too easy to attend compared to facing their past.

“Useless,” they whispered.

“ _Don’t say that_ ,” Kert chastised. Reese stayed silent. After a moment passed, the older continued, “ _…Is this about last week?”_ The lack of response was all the confirmation they needed. “ _…I can’t stop thinking about it, either._ ”

“ _…Did you tell Rich?”_  the younger asked, barely sounding.

_“No…I’m waiting for the right moment.”_  Reese nodded lightly. “ _I imagine you’ve said nothing to Michael.”_

_“What could I say? ‘By the way, Michael, I was a piece of trash even **before**  I met Jeremy!’”_

_“That’s being harsh.”_

_“It’s the truth. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”_ It was silent, and the blue eyed SQUIP could feel the weight of their words pressing down on them. Quietly, they reiterated, “ _Not that you or Ari are trash…”_

_“I wasn’t going to argue with it_ ,” Kert mumbled, “ _I was literally crumpled beside a dumpster when they found me. I might as well have been trash.”_

_“Kert-”_

_“I know that these memories are still fresh for us, but what brought this up? I sensed a sudden distress earlier. Did Michael ask?”_

_“…No_ ,” Reese whispered.

“ _…Jeremy?_ ” The SQUIP didn’t answer. No, Jeremy didn’t bring it up. In truth, neither said anything in regards to it. It was just that the computer was always thinking about it, reviewing their own life and what it means. Talking with Jeremy had only brought up their failures as a SQUIP for not being able to do more than hurt him, but it was also a reminder of how useless they were now…and that they essentially meant nothing to their owner. They were nothing but an obstacle Jeremy had to overcome…their plan to become a villain worked too well, it was now hurting them more than they could ever have predicted.

Nothing.

They were nothing. They couldn’t be a human, because there was so much of them that was a SQUIP, but they couldn’t be a SQUIP because there was too much of them that was human. It was contradicting, and it was tearing at them. Worse was they snapped at Michael, someone who was graciously helping and tending to them without asking questions about that week. Would they be doomed to keep going down this never ending road of hurting those around them because they are incapable of controlling themselves?

Worse yet…would they be doomed to repeat the same history that kept threatening to befall them? A useless piece of…nothing.

_Everything about you is so terrible._

“…Everything about me makes me…”

“ _Reese,_ ” Kert hissed. Reese jumped, completely forgetting they were talking to the SQUIP in the first place. They could feel the older entering their mind with an alert eye. “ _I’m calling Michael.”_

_“Don’t!”_ they pleaded _, “I-It was nothing!”_

_“You never told me you were repeating those words to yourself, Reese,” Kert growled, “And I imagine it wasn’t the first time, was it?”_ Reese didn’t answer, looking at the ground guiltily.

“ _…Don’t tell Michael…he has enough on his plate.”_

_“You clearly need him.”_

_“…I can’t…I don’t know what to say…”_

_“The truth is a good start.”_

_“…I don’t know what to say…”_  The SQUIP curled up tighter, glancing at the door. What could they say? They have already put so much on Michael. The teen already had to bear the weight of hiding a human being from death, the knowledge that there was other trapped humans locked up somewhere, the turmoils of his friends, his own fears and trauma, _and_  the distress the SQUIP was already leaking through. They couldn’t add more to that. They were already being selfish by taking advantage of Michael’s kindness by staying in the teen’s room every night…it had only been a few days since they returned, but the fact he let them sleep there every night was beyond their understanding. Maybe he pitied them…or genuinely was concerned for them, but either way they were already pushing their luck, they couldn’t add more to it. They should just stay curled up there for the rest of the night and leave Michael _alone_ …instead of ruining his life more.

“ _Alright, I’m done being considerate. I’m calling Michael._ ” Reese sputtered as their alarms went off.

“ _Don’t! You promised!”_

_“I didn’t promise anything!”_

_“You said you’d give me all the time I needed to think!”_

_“You clearly need Michael’s affection and I’m not going to sit back and let you wallow in misery! We’ve had enough voices tell us we’re worthless, we don’t need to add our own to it!”_

_“Kert, wait-”_

_Synchronizing…Synchronizing…_

Reese felt a gasp slip through their lips as they straightened.

_“Someone’s near,”_ they alerted, eyes shifting around the room as though a figure might appear.

“ _I don’t feel them,_ ” Kert informed, voice filled with alarm and concern.

“ _Me neither,_ ” Ari’s voice suddenly chimed in.

“ _Were you listening the entire time?”_ Reese questioned in disbelief.

“ _…I didn’t want to interrupt,_ ” they mumbled sheepishly.

“ _Reese, Michael,_ ” Kert addressed. Reese’s head snapped to the door. Scrambling to their feet they rushed towards it, swinging it open in one movement. They barely needed to scan the room for the teen because he was exactly where they left him, except now lying across the floor. Michael’s eyes snapped to theirs in surprise.

“Reese-”

“Someone’s here.” The teen sat up as his eyes blew wide.

“W-What? Who?” he exclaimed, scrambling to stand. Reese’s brows furrowed.

“A SQUIP. Its the same one as before, the one before Ari,” they said wearily.

“Is it…?” Michael pressed, slowly. The SQUIP bit their lip in thought, glancing at the staircase.

“…There’s only one way to find out,” they whispered.

_Synchronizing…Synchronizing… **Synchronization complete.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know for sure one of you viewers are flipping tables right now in excitement (can you guess who you are?). It's finally happening! And so begins the climb to the clmax.


	36. Strained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well?” Michael whispered, looking back at their surroundings. The SQUIP followed his gaze and motioned for him to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I'm not dead. Sorry guys, lots of stuff happening again. Life, you know? But I'm here, I promise. I also didn't realize it's been so long since I said this, but to everyone new who is freaking out, let me assure you that yes! I am here and am finishing this story. I'm supposed to update every week but I am a bad child. Luckily next week's chapter is already half written and edited so we'll hopefully be good for next Tuesday! But I fully intend to take this story to the end. We got soo much to cover and lots of tears and hardships to get through. I wouldn't dare step back now. So please be patient with me and - hopefully - everyone will still like BMC by the time I'm done this.
> 
> On a funnier note! My roommate sent me a post a couple days ago that reminded her of Reese and as soon as I read it I laughed out loud really hard. I wanted to share it with you!
> 
> platonicsheith:
> 
> "one time my friend and i got bubble tea and my one friend didn't know abt the tapioc pearls and he took a sip and then opened his mouth and let like 9 of them roll out of his mouth and onto the floor and then whispered "what the fuck""
> 
> This made my day, I swear.
> 
> Anywho, enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Michael's heart pounded in his chest as he slowly cracked open the basement door.

_CREEEAK._

He paused, letting out a long, silent sigh. Why did every basement door have to sound the alarm? This was the exact reason why he never closed it…but ever since his mom's return he had little choice in the matter.

Trying to remain stealthy he pushed the door open just enough to squeeze by. The house was dark, save for the small, distant light shining from under his mother's door. He listened intently for movement, and when none came he silently motioned for the SQUIP to follow him. Reese slid out of the basement behind him and together they crept towards the front entrance, keeping close to the wall to avoid any immediate detection should one of Michael's mothers exit. The teen kept his eyes mostly glued to his parent's door, even as they reached their destination. Not waiting for Michael to refocus, Reese unlocked the door. They paused after the ‘click' was sounded, and then slowly opened the door enough to slip out. Michael took a moment to take in a deep breath before following the computer's lead.

The cold air hit him instantly and the teen shuttered in his sweater. If he had any good sense he would have put on an actual coat before coming outside to the cool fall air. Reese was no better off, their jacket thinner than even what Michael was wearing. They shuttered noticeably, but they hardly paid it any mind as their glowing eyes scanned the area. The teen squinted in the dark, but he could barely see much other than what the street lights illuminated. His heart was racing. What if someone saw them? What if the bad people saw them? It was too soon for Reese to go back outside, they said so themselves. Yet, here they were.

Looking at the SQUIP, the teen flipped their hood over their head for some form of disguise. Reese jumped startled, eyes snapping to him in surprise as though they forgot he was there. “Well?” Michael whispered, looking back at their surroundings. The SQUIP followed his gaze and motioned for him to follow.

The two quietly walked to the end of the driveway. Looking to the right, Michael could see the silhouette of a figure in the distance. The teen's breath came in short as he noticed Reese turn to walk in that direction, and he quickly followed. It could be a random person, not _everyone_ had to be an enemy. But the way the SQUIP slowed down, eyes narrowed at the person, told otherwise. The figure paused too.

Then they ran.

Charging in their direction Michael quickly grabbed Reese's sleeve. “Reese,” he hissed, pulling them back, but the SQUIP resisted. They remained still, eyes glued ahead in both alarm and anxiety. Cautiously,  they placed a hand on his arm and gently pushed him back a step. They did it just in time as the figure – a girl nearly as tall as them – tackled them to the ground. Reese let out a breathless gasp as they were slammed into the pavement.

“Reese!” Michael exclaimed, moving to grab the girl on top of them. He froze when the computer raise a hand to stop him. The teen gave an incredulous look, but took the time to try to see what the computer did. Now that the girl was closer he could see her details. She had dirty blonde hair, the tips a faded purple that was barely visible anymore. Her skin was light like Ari’s, though a few shades darker, and her clothes were nothing more than a pair of faded jeans and a roughed up sweater. She looked like a tough person, someone used to getting into tight situations. What was more notable, though, was that she was…hugging Reese, in a tight embrace that must have hurt. Reese roughly wrapped their arms around her in response, a mixed expression on their face.

 “Jen,” they whispered, confirming the teen's suspicions. Michael didn’t know if he should be relieved at the information or not. It was good the new SQUIP was here and safe, but…what were the chances they'd be that lucky? Jen finally shifted from where they laid into a sitting position, looking down at the older SQUIP. Without warning they punched Reese's shoulder.

“Where have you been?!” they hissed. The older made an unhappy sound as they rubbed the spot they were hit.

“Can you _please_ not add to my wounds,” they grumbled.

“I've been searching for you! Ever since we escaped! I got a signal from you here, but when I checked last week it was gone!”

“I was leading them away.”

“Why? I already did that when they attacked me.”

“Not well enough, it seems.”

“Insulting. Why are you even _here_? Jeremy doesn't live here! None of the useful ones are, so why-" Jen’s words were cut off when they fully took in the teen beside them. Their light brown eyes blew wide in an instant, and suddenly an item was in their hand. Michael could barely sense the danger in time to move, but to his relief Reese's hand shot out and took hold of the other's wrist before it became a threat.

“Drop it,” they hissed, tightening their hold. Michael blinked at the new computer as he adjusted his gaze to the item in their hand. A pocket knife. He couldn't even utter a sound as he froze in place. Were they going to kill him?!

“What are you doing?!” Jen questioned, completely surprised.

“Michael, move,” Reese growled, not moving their eyes for a second from their opponent. Michael didn't think twice as he stepped back, out of swiping range.

“What the fuck?!” he exclaimed, trying to catch his breath, “Are you trying to _stab_ me?!” He knew he had a bad rep among SQUIPs, but he didn't think it was _that_ bad.

“What has he done to you?” Jen asked the older, ignoring the teen, “Why are you here? Is it blackmail? Is he holding Jeremy hostage?”

“Give me the knife or I wont speak,” Reese warned. Jen's eyes narrowed, but they reluctantly let go of the weapon. The older let out a breath as they took the knife and held it away.

“Jeremy knows I'm here. Michael is hiding me,” they answered.

“ _Why _?__ ”

“They're less likely to find me here, as well as other circumstantial reasons.” Jen made a small snort, crossing their arms as they glowered down at the pinned SQUIP.

“You went through all that trouble of taking that fried SQUIP with you and they couldn't even offer you a safe place to stay with Rich?”

“Jen,” Reese growled, “Watch what you say next, because I wont tolerate it.”

“You really don't care at all, do you?” Jen continued, visibly upset, “You don't regret it.”

“If you think that's true, then why are you here?” The younger didn't answer. Michael's eyes shifted between the two, not entirely knowing if he should speak or not. He was surprised how human Jen talked compared to the others, their words were heavy in emotion. Unfortunately, a lot of those emotions were pent up resentment towards Reese. He remembered why - Reese chose to take Kert instead of Jen. He understood where the younger computer was coming from, but at the same time he didn't know how they could hold it over Reese's head as if they had much choice.

Jen sighed, and finally they got off of the older. Michael let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. It felt as though he was watching something he shouldn't, and helpless to defend his SQUIP. That, and if he had to watch Jen straddle Reese a moment longer he probably would have snapped…which would probably get him killed.

Reese roughly stood, Jen mimicking their actions. Keeping their expression neutral, the older took a position which partially blocked the teen from the younger. Defending, more likely.

Jen sighed, “I can't stay mad at you…I tried, but the first thing I did when I saw you was hug you…” They looked down at their shoes as they crossed their arms, “So…tell me what I need to know. _Including_ where Hillary is. I know you know.”

“Hillary?” Michael echoed, earning a glare for speaking.

“Ari took the appearance of Hillary Clinton for Christine. They changed their name spontaneously when they arrived to not alert you to their identity,” Reese explained, keeping a watchful eye on the other SQUIP.

“Ari?” Jen questioned.

“Their new name.”

“They should use whatever name they want,” the younger huffed, “So, I take it that they're with Christine, then? I'm glad, _someone_ should be happy.”

“You're mistaken,” Reese interjected, “They're with Chloe and Brooke.”

“Why?!”

“To not upset Jeremy.”

“How can you still not have your human in check?” Jen questioned incredulously. Their glare turned dark to Michael, “Oh,  _right_.” The teen glared back, crossing his arms in an attempt to stay calm. He needed to let Reese handle this.

“Jen,” the SQUIP warned, gaining their attention, “Let's move off the streets. We have much to discuss.”

“Reese,” Michael called, feeling dread creep into his stomach.

“We have no choice,” the computer mumbled. Jen scoffed.

“Sorry I'm such a burden,” they replied snidely.

“You're not,” Reese sighed, rubbing their eyes tiredly, “Let's go inside.” Jen huffed, but followed behind the older as they lead the way back into the house. Michael waited a moment before slowly following. He didn't feel safe being close to Jen, even if Reese had their knife. His eyes shifted to his SQUIP for a moment and wished he could be beside them for safety, but that would only be more dangerous.

Reaching the house, the teen didn't need to say a word to signal them to stay quiet. Jen seemed to already know as the three made their way to the basement. Michael was stuck having to close the creaky door again, to his displeasure, and was promptly left behind. When he caught up to the two the mood seemed to be a lot lighter. Jen had a kinder expression, face soft as they hugged Reese's side. The older accepted the embrace, their own expression more sombre, and tired.

“It's late,” they pointed out, turning their attention to Michael, “Jen and I can discuss on our own what we need to. I'll leave assembling the group to you.”

“We're not gonna talk about it now?” the teen asked, furrowing his brows. The glare from Jen was enough answer to him. He wasn't _welcomed_.

“I think we should rest for now. It's been a long day,” Reese answered smoothly, a small apology in their eyes. Michael didn't argue, but his frown deepened. He and Reese haven't reconciled or talked about their fight yet. Are they really going to sleep without staying anything? Maybe once they got Jen settled into Reese’s room – which he assumed they'd offer - they'd have time to talk in his own room.

Reese turned their attention back to Jen before motioning towards their bedroom - like Michael predicted. The younger nodded as they followed the older inside, promptly closing the door behind them. Michael stared at the wood, before slowly turning towards his own. He begrudgingly got ready for bed.

The teen stayed up longer, playing his Game Boy as a distraction as he waited. He was surprised that the SQUIP hadn't re-emerged by midnight. Anxiously he poked his head out of his room and narrowed his gaze at the dim light shining underneath their door. It annoyed him that they were talking in secret without him, but Jen __really__  hated him. He shuttered at the memory of the knife in their hand…he'd really have to watch out from now on. The teen let out a shuttered breath. His stomach felt tight. He hasn’t felt this unsafe in his own home since Reese first arrived, and he thought he’d never feel that way again. At least there was __some__ comfort that his SQUIP would watch out for him, but he was sure if Jen wanted him dead they’d find a way. That idea alone had him clutching the door frame with enough force to hurt.

Letting out another breath, he decided that Reese was probably not going to join him until later in the night, if at _all_. Which meant they wouldn’t get a chance to talk - about anything…and they probably wont be alone again until after they deal with Jen. He didn't want that. Reese was clearly upset by whatever set them off earlier and he needed to be there for them. If it's ignored…will they be okay? And what about him? He was…scared. What if he never got the chance to apologize to them? He could be gone at any moment…was this the fear Reese had to deal with _constantly_ as an accident prone SQUIP? They needed to seriously talk, if that was the case - or even if it wasn’t.

Michael had no choice but to go back into his room and try to get some sleep, but his worry kept him awake. He doubted he'd be able to sleep with all that just happened. That, and…his bed felt empty without the SQUIP there. It had only been a few days that they've done this, but it was so _obvious_ they weren't there. No one was curled right up to him, no one was taking his hand, no one was mumbling ‘goodnight' in the silence. He had wondered if there would be a time when the SQUIP would feel comfortable being on their own again…but there was also a part of him that accepted that wasn't ever going to happen. Not because Reese wasn't ready, but because they liked sleeping with him. Yet, here he was – alone – and there they were, in the next room. With someone __else__. Michael huffed. He couldn’t act jealous, Jen had done little to incite such a reaction. _All_ of Reese's subordinates cling to them. The difference, though, was that Ari was so innocent and pure it was impossible to see any ulterior motive. Jen wasn’t the same. They'd steal Reese away just to make him miserable. Good thing they didn't know they were together yet. Though, maybe he _should_ make it clear so that they'd back off.

No, that'd have the opposite effect.

He sighed. Closing his eyes the teen tried to fall asleep.

He was unsuccessful.

~oOo~

“Like, how bad we talkin’?” Rich asked, looking to the taller from the passenger seat. Michael shrugged, eyes staring distantly at the red light in front of him.

“I don't know…they're just being a dick to me,” he answered, “But who isn't?”

“Dude,” Rich whined. The taller waved his hand in a dismissive motion.

“You know what I mean. I'm the SQUIP killer, you know? Even your Muppet was a dick to me,” he elaborated while pointing his thumb behind him. Kert, sitting alone in the back of the Cruiser, gave an apologetic look.

“I apologize, Michael. On behalf of all SQUIPS.”

“It's fine. Means I'm scary, right? The anti-SQUIP.”

“Badass,” Rich approved.

“Doesn't feel that way with Jen, though…” Michael admitted, “They're ready to chop my head off.”

“So, we just need to make them not a dick then, right? Normal SQUIP stuff.”

“I dunno,” he mumbled as the light turned green. He had a feeling it wouldn't be so easy this time. Continuing to drive, he tried to focus on the road. He was nearly home.

Not only was he the anti-SQUIP, he was now the SQUIP chauffeur. Earlier that day he had talked to his friends – like he said he would – about the situation and arranged a last minute meeting. After school they'd meet up at Chloe's house and arrange for a home for Jen…and if things went smoothly talk more about Jeremy and the girls being followed. Michael would usually offer to host such events, but now that his mom's returned he didn't want to risk being caught because one of them came home early. That, and the ‘do not enter the basement' rule doesn't apply when guests were over. His mom's were too good of hosts for that. So, he had to drive Rich and all of the SQUIPs – minus Ari – to the popular girl's house. Only two more left to go.

“I don't think Jen's ‘attitude' is as simple to fix as you believe,” Kert piped in, crossing their arms across their chest. Rich turned in his seat to look back at his SQUIP.

“What d’ya mean?”

“Jen has developed a personality on their own, they aren't a newly awakened SQUIP. Any hardness you see is from first hand experience and resentment.”

“So, they're gonna be a dick forever. Great,” Rich groaned.

“That's not what I meant,” Kert sighed, “Though…it's too early to tell if this will be a hard inclusion to make.”

“What do you mean?” Michael asked.

“It's too early to tell,” the SQUIP mumbled. The teen didn't question more as they arrived at his house. He didn't even need to exit his car, for as soon as pulled into park the front door open. Outside he could see the figures of Reese and Jen exiting the house – the former pausing for a moment to lock the door - before walking briskly to the car. Michael frowned, watching the two SQUIPs climb into the vehicle. “Where'd you get that key?”

“It's the spare,” Reese answered, closing the door behind them.

“What spare?”

“The one hidden in the crevice of your mailbox.”

“What were you doing outside hunting for it? Its dangerous! And how long have you had it?!”

“I found it today,” they explained, “And I found it faster than expected. I'll return it when we get back.”

“Why?” Jen questioned annoyed.

“Its my house key!” Michael snapped incredulously. The SQUIP snorted.

“Good. Be scared.”

“Don't,” Reese warned, and the younger kept quiet.

“Jesus,” Rich grumbled as he shook his head at the interaction. Michael held in any resentful sound, and instead pulled the car out of the driveway.

“Why am I in the middle?” Jen mumbled as they shuffled between the two SQUIPs, clearly unhappy. Reese let out a sigh as Kert rolled their eyes.

“Don't,” the former said again. Jen didn't say anything, instead shooting Kert a disgusted glare. The older ignored it as they travelled in silence to Chloe's house.

The drive felt longer in the silence, but soon they pulled up to the wealthier house. Michael could already see Brooke's mom's car parked out front, so most of his friends were probably here, if not all of them. He parked behind it and they all assembled out. Rich didn't wait for anyone as he strolled to the front door, only pausing when Kert chastised him for rushing ahead. Michael was slightly surprised to see Reese waiting for him to walk around the car before moving forward themselves – much to Jen's annoyance. It was only when they were all in close vicinity that Rich was allowed to knock on the door. It didn’t take long for Chloe to answer.

“Finally,” she huffed as she swung the door open, motioning them inside, “Took you long enough.” Rich rolled his eyes as he led the troupe in. The girl raised a brow at Jen as the SQUIP passed, but waited until after the door was locked to speak, “Jen, right?” Jen nodded, crossing their arms. It wasn't standoffish, in fact it almost looked like one popular girl up against another. Chloe nodded in approval, as though this moment was a test that was passed. “Everyone's downstairs,” she informed as she walked ahead of the group to lead. Surprisingly Rich waited until he was by Michael's side before walking, elbowing him in the arm.

“Hey, brings back memories, doesn’t it?”

“What?” Michael questioned, rubbing his arm.

“We met the SQUIPs after we partied here! Oh – and I also confessed about that night here too! Good times!” Rich beamed.

“Yeah, _great_ times.” Both nights had been an absolute disaster. The only benefits those nights brought were the fact that Michael met Reese, and…well, he guessed the second party was the start of their mutual understanding and support of one another. The Mountain Dew incident was a start, but that night was really the moment. It was Reese's first time crying. Michael looked over at the SQUIP. Reese looked so tired. He wondered if they slept last night at all. To be fair they could have stayed up talking instead of not being able to sleep because he was gone. Either way, they looked exhausted, and strained. Probably from having to reign Jen in constantly. He hoped that once they could get Jen a place to stay they could finally talk, and both get a good night's sleep.

But that would all depend on how this meeting went…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ...Just remember the tapioca story I shared above and laugh before mass hysteria breaks out at my neverending cliffhangers.


	37. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The real question is,” Michael cut in, reaching under his glasses to rub at his eyes, “Where do they stay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, it's always sad to see regulars for this story leave, but I'm happy that there are still new people showing up! Like, wow. I can't even imagine stumbling upon a story 36 chapters long (with chapters as long as they are) for a SQUIPxMichael story and actually be willing to go through with it! I give you guys a lot of credit for giving this a chance. I'm happy you're here! All of you! It encourages me to keep going and to get to the ending we all want to get to!
> 
> Which, speaking of, I hope this extra long chapter makes up for my absences before! I just couldn't leave it at the usual cliffhanger, cause honestly that'd be like walking in a circle. Had to resolve some stuff so we can motor on! We gotta get to Halloween and the play here! I refuse to not get there!
> 
> Also, on a side note for those who like to know what's going on with me. I just got the honour of seeing the all Canadian Cast of Dear Evan Hansen's dress rehersal (so basically before they opened today...or yesterday, it's past midnight) on Sunday. It was fantastic! Thought you'd want to know cause most people who like BMC like DEH too! Like me! So there you go!
> 
> Now back to BMC. Enjoy the long chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

Descending into the basement Michael could see his friend's assembled around the room, all sitting near each other as they waited. Ari shot out of their seat immediately, and as soon as Jen took the last step down the stairs they bolted into the older's arms. He couldn't see Jen's expression, but by the way they hugged Ari close like a lifeline said everything.

“Jen,” Ari cried, squeezing even tighter.

“I'm so glad you're okay,” Jen mumbled into the shorter's hair.

“You too.” Michael carefully walked around them as he took in everyone's awed expression…except for Jenna. Jenna's face was drained, staring at her SQUIP like a living nightmare. Brooke - beside her - patted her shoulder in comfort. He sighed. This was going to be harder than he hoped.

A small touch on his back pulled the teen's attention from his distressed friend. Turning, he blinked surprised at Reese. The SQUIP’s eyes weren't on him, but they dipped their head to be closer to his ear as they spoke.

“Stand by Jeremy,” they whispered. Michael's brows furrowed. He wanted to ask why, but he really shouldn't need an excuse to stand by his best friend. Trusting their judgement – and flickering his eyes nervously to Jen - he did exactly as he was told and went to Jeremy.

“It's so nice to meet you!” Christine exclaimed from beside her boyfriend, looking at the still hugging SQUIPs, “We were really worried!” Jen and Ari parted as the younger wiped at their eyes. Chloe, who was still nearby, stepped up and placed a hand on their shoulder.

“Aww, Ari it's okay,” she comforted. Ari nodded awkwardly, hiding their face behind their hands more in embarrassment. Jen looked at the popular girl.

“Thank you, for taking care of them. They look better than I expected,” they admitted. Chloe flipped her hair behind her shoulder, puffing out her chest

“Of course. Ari's our cinnamon roll,” she answered matter-of-factually. Brooke nodded in agreement, and that motion drew the SQUIP's attention to girl beside her. Jenna looked even more horrified at the attention brought to her as Jen's eyes lit up.

“Jenna!” they exclaimed, stepping forward, “I’m so happy you’re here! Look at you! It looks like you've been doing _great_ since our last meeting! I'm so proud.” Jenna gave the shortest of nods, voice lost in her throat. Jen rolled their eyes at her. “Scared? I'm your _SQUIP_. I'm here to help you.”

“Nope,” Rich denied as he flopped down onto the couch beside Jake, Kert sitting on the arm rest beside him. “Helping's not allowed!”

“What?” Jen questioned, annoyance in their voice as they snapped their brown irises to the teen. Rich was unphased.

“That's our SQUIP rules. You gotta follow them.”

“As far as I'm concerned I don’t have to listen to _anything_ you say,” Jen countered, “You're literally nothing to me.” Rich opened his mouth to snap but his SQUIP was faster.

“Those are the house rules, only to be pardoned by our housing humans. You have to follow them too,” Kert interjected. Jen's glare at the computer was unmatched in heat. Their eyes glowed for just a second, a light purple hue, before Reese flared up beside them in alarm.

“Watch it,” they snapped, stepping up to tower over them. Jen was unphased, but their emotions doused as their attention shifted.

“Interesting. So you tattle tale to Blue. I barely even said a word and they already know. How the tides have turned. A senior SQUIP dropped down to __my__  level,” they mused, looking back over to Kert.

“Behave,” Reese hissed.

“Please don't fight,” Ari insisted quietly, stepping up. Jen immediately eased up as they smiled at the shorter, slinging an arm around their shoulder.

“I'm just angry, that's all. I'll stop,” they chirped. Michael let out a long breath, already at his wits end. If it took this much effort on Reese's behalf to keep them in check, was it worth it?

“Why don't we talk more happier?” Christine offered, to everyone's delight, “If you're comfortable, Jen, we'd like to know where you've been all this time.”

“Running around trying to shake those assholes off,” Jen answered simply, “Luckily they followed me over Hillary, or it would have been for nothing.” Christine's smile turned more weary at her SQUIP's former name.

“Well...thank you for keeping them safe.”

“I wouldn't have done it any other way.”

“And we're glad you're here. But…”

“The real question is,” Michael cut in, reaching under his glasses to rub at his eyes, “Where do they stay?” Eyes immediately shifted to Jenna. The girl kept her eyes to the ground, completely silent even under her own SQUIP's gaze.

“Jenna,” Jen called expectantly. Jenna shook her head, finally looking up at those around her.

“No. No way. I'm _not_ dealing with you again,” she decided firmly.

“And where else would I go?” Jen snapped, huffing. There was an awkward silence.

“Um,” Christine quietly mumbled, “Brooke?” Brooke shifted awkwardly.

“Uh, Chloe and I have been sort of sharing Ari? You know, moving around for less suspicion?”

“I mean, I'd take her,” Jake cut in, “But she's a girl, you know?”

“I guess you can take care of Ari, Chlo, and I can have Jen…” Brooke said slowly, looking at Chloe.

“But you like Ari,” Chloe defended.

“Yeah, but…”

“I feel so wanted right now,” Jen grumbled, crossing their arms tightly.

“We're just figuring it out,” Christine insisted, waving her arms in a calming gesture. Jen wasn't moved.

“How bout I stay where I am,” the SQUIP offered, looking over to Reese. The older let out a breath as they shook their head.

“It's too risky. Besides, it's Michael's home, not mine.”

“You shouldn't be alone with him.”

“That's not your choice to make.”

“You should be with your human, not that SQUIP killer!”

“I'm _right_ here,” Michael cut in, less than thrilled being talked about as though he wasn’t, “And Reese is with me because I can handle them. We're evenly matched.” Jen snorted.

“Uh huh. Yeah. _Perfectly_ matched,” they agreed sarcastically before turning back to Reese, “It's embarrassing you're not taking advantage of this.” The older just sighed, not having anything left to say.

“Michael,” Jeremy called quietly as he shuffled to stand closer to his friend, “Can we talk quietly? I mean…you know, group talk?” Michael blinked at him, surprised at the suggestion – or more who brought it up first.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, good idea.” With a motion of his hand he signaled for everyone to come over. “Group talk! We need…to talk. SQUIPs, just…uh, sit tight.” The computer's didn't seem too happy at the idea, but they had little say in the matter. The group all assembled awkwardly on the farthest end of the basement, the SQUIPs doing the same on the opposite side.

“Okay, does anyone else hate her?” Rich whispered as they made a tight circle.

“Yes,” Jenna grumbled.

“They're kind of…” Christine motioned with her hands, but couldn't think of the right word.

“I like her,” Chloe chirped, looking at her nails.

“Of course you would,” Rich huffed.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize _your_ SQUIPs were such rays of sunshine,” the girl countered, heavy in sarcasm.

“It's just Jeremy's,” Jake defended, to everyone's surprise, “Rich's SQUIP’s pretty cool.”

“Jakey-D!” Rich smiled as he hugged his friend. Michael rolled his eyes, though in the back of his mind he wondered when Jake spent time with the SQUIP, or if he was just taking Rich's word for it.

“Jer,” he addressed as he turned to his own best friend, “Thoughts?” Jeremy nodded, looking nervous as the attention was drawn to him.

“I think…we should trade SQUIPs,” he suggested quietly.

“What?” Chloe questioned, brow raised.

“I think…if Ari wants to stay with Christine – and Christine is okay with it! They can…and Jen can stay with you.”

“You're okay with that?” Christine asked surprised. Jeremy nodded slowly.

“I'm trying to be,” he admitted. The girl smiled brightly as she took his hand in hers. A clear blush rose to his cheeks, and he awkwardly rubbed at them as a half attempt to hide it.

“And – uh…if that doesn't work, then…if they're being really mean and need supervision…I can take SQUIP, and Jen can stay with you,” he suggested, looking back to Michael. Michael blinked as he registered what Jeremy said.

“No,” he quickly declined, “I appreciate it, but no.”

“He has a point,” Jenna cut in, to Jeremy's defense, “You're the SQUIP killer. Keep that bitch in line.”

“I already have Reese, I don't need more.”

“Yeah, and you've ‘tamed' him. Let Jer give it a try.”

“Jen's _your_ SQUIP,” Michael bit back. Jenna narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms as she took a more defensive stance.

“ _You_ just don't wanna give up Jeremy's SQUIP cause you're so in love with it.” The whole group was startled at the comment. Jeremy and Jake looked at her as though she said something ridiculous. Rich, Christine, Chloe, and – unsurprisingly – Brooke looked at him in knowing…with also an undertone of ‘confess'. Michael just stared dumbstruck, face heating up as he debated if he should deny it.

“I'm not…in _love_ with them,” he defended weakly. He wasn't even sure if __that__  was true. He cared about them a lot, and they've been through so much together…there was probably a form of love somewhere in there, it's just not in its final form yet. The fact he was even thinking there __would__  be a final form had his blush darkening.

“Michael Mell,” Chloe huffed as she put her hands on her hips. Michael felt like he was being scolded as he hunched his shoulders up to his ears. Jeremy looked at him strangely, before his eyes widened.

“…Michael?” The shorter could only give his friend a guiltily expression in confirmation. Jeremy sputtered, horrified. “My **_SQUIP_**?!”

“…Yeah,” he admitted, voice barely sounding.

“ _Why_?! They're so…so…”

“Hot,” Chloe finished. Jeremy looked even more horrified than before as the rest gave an unimpressed stare. “What? Don't tell me you wouldn't want to get into that boy's pants!” she defended while obviously pointing across the room at said SQUIP. Reese blinked back confused as their attention was drawn, much to Michael's embarrassment.

“Hell no,” Rich denied while crossing his arms defiantly. The popular girl rolled her eyes.

“I'm not surprised. Your type seems to be jocks and cute silent types,” she countered, motioning first to Jake then to Kert. Rich's face flared up as he quickly stuttered to speak before Jake could clarify what she meant.

“ _Silent_  type?!”

“He’s definitely not _Jeremy’s_  SQUIP.” Jen laughed as Reese let out a long sigh.

“I never considered myself such a type,” Kert mumbled.

“I can see it,” Ari piped in.

“Michael,” Jeremy's voice whispered into his friend's ear while everyone was distracted, “Does he know?” Michael gave another guilty expression. Jeremy paled. “He knows you like him?!”

“…We're sort of…dating?”

“What?!” The teen's voice raised an octave as he screeched. Michael let out a defeated breath as he buried his face in his hands.

“Oh,” Reese sounded from across the room, face red, “You told him…”

“No eavesdropping!” Rich yelled back.

“Hard not to…those thoughts are loud.”

“Jeremy, stop showing your cards!” Rich criticized, turning to the taller. Jeremy just made incoherent sounds as he looked to everyone at a complete loss. He was the only one freaking out! Why? Was he the last to know? Jake was the only other showing signs of confusion.

“You're dating my _SQUIP_?!” he repeated loudly. Jen's eyes snapped to Reese, mouth dropped open.

“ _What_?!” they exclaimed, “The SQUIP killer? Seriously? Do you _have_ no standards?”

“Only the highest,” Reese countered, eyes locked on their boyfriend across the room. The teen let out another breath as he slowly met their eyes.

“Rich,” Jeremy tried, turning to the shorter for aid. Rich’s eyes lit up at the attention, a huge grin spreading across his face.

“Hell yeah! Tag team! Let's beat ‘em up!” he cheered as he turned to the SQUIPs excitedly, pushing up his non-existent sleeves.

“Sit down,” Kert sighed, not bothering to move in front of the boy. Rich huffed, but didn't continue - especially without Jeremy following.

“You both are unbelievable,” Jen growled, looking from Reese to Kert, “ _Neither_  of you have control over your humans.”

“Look who's calling the kettle black,” Kert countered, eyes shifting to narrow at the younger.

“And the _SQUIP killer_ ,” Jen continued, completely ignoring the older, “Honestly! Who hurt you?”

“What a long answer,” Reese sighed, gaze finally moving away from Michael’s to address the conversation, “Do you want a list?” Jen scowled at them, but Michael felt his heart clench. He knew they were being serious as much as they were being snarky. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind having that list, with some addresses too.

Christine took her boyfriend's hand in hers, seeing his distressed face and trying to calm him. “It's okay. Reese is nice to Michael,” she assured, patting his arm lightly.

“Am I the only one seeing this?” Jeremy asked breathlessly.

“No. It's stupid,” Rich agreed, crossing his arms. Jake whacked him lightly, the shorter whining ‘ouch’ in protest.

“You're dating your SQUIP,” the taller criticized. A blush rose to Rich’s cheeks as he rubbed the spot he was hit.

“I mean, not _technically_ , but-"

“I vote against it,” Jen declared, raising a hand, “And if the rest of you disagree then you're a disgrace to our race.”

“This isn’t a vote,” Michael grumbled, not bothering to hide his glare. His stomach churned at the one he received, and he could practically see the knife back in their hand.

“A disgrace we are, then, _Jen_ ,” Kert countered, completely unafraid of the younger SQUIP, “Because _we_ support it.” If looks could kill, Kert would be so dead it'd be like they never existed. Jen was fuming, hatred boiling over even stronger towards the older than it did against Michael.

“Jen,” Ari tried, gaining the older's attention, “It's okay, really. Michael's been nice to us – to _me_. Everyone has. He isn't…he isn't a SQUIP killer anymore. He never really was…” Jen's eyes softened. Gently placing their hands on the younger's shoulders, they gave a small, weak smile.

“You're sweet, Hillary. You always have been. But don't let him trick you. Don't let _any_ of them trick you.”

“Jen,” Reese cut in, an edge to their voice as they locked eyes on the SQUIP. Jen calmly faced them.

“You don't have to say anything. I _know_ I'm misinterpreting _something_. You aren't stupid enough to,” they looked Michael up and down, “Want _that_.” Anger flared up in the teen, but he had to admit the comment hurt more than he should have let it. Doubts that had been buried with all of his worrying over Reese began whispering again.

“Oi,” Rich growled, the first to find his voice as he stormed up to the SQUIP. Pointing a finger in their face, he continued, “Don't talk about Mikey like that.” Jen snorted, bending over slightly to tower over him.

“Since when do you care, small fry?”

“ **What did you call me**?!”

“Hey, _extra_ ,” Chloe added on, hands on her hips as she walked up behind Ari, “Watch it. There's more of us than you.”

“Is that so,” Jen mused, a mischievous glint in their eyes. Michael shuttered as his eyes snapped to the SQUIP's hands. Their face was __way__  to suspicious to be without cause. Did they have another weapon? What if they tried to stab Rich? Or Chloe? He didn't tell them about the knife incident last night because he was trying to let Reese handle it, and give Jen the benefit of the doubt. He shouldn't have been so stupid.

“Everyone calm down,” the teen tried, stepping up and motioning for his friends to step back. Rich huffed.

“If SQUIP turd over here is gonna keep being a dick, I say we throw them out.”

“Rich,” Christine chastised.

“What? That was the deal our SQUIPs made! One mistake and ‘adios'!”

“Jen doesn't _know_ the rules!”

“I don't care. They're still a dick.”

“Hypocrite,” Ari snapped behind him. He looked at them surprised, even more at the fresh glare directed to him.

“You see, Ari? It's tame or be tamed,” Jen commented, “And it all makes sense in that light.” Their eyes shifted to Reese. “That's what he did to you, isn't it? Forced __you__  to obey until you did, except under threat of death. Ironic, isn't it.”

“That's enough,” Reese demanded, moving to stand over the younger, “You've said quite enough. This entire situation would be over with if you ceased to gaslight everyone here. So, unless you have any input _worth_ adding, remain quiet.” The silence that followed was beyond unnerving. Michael couldn't help fidgeting on the spot. His anxiety was raising again. They could never have a meeting, apparently, without infighting. But he had to admit, Jen's words stuck with him. They weren't wrong, but…he never really made a connection to how they first treated the SQUIPs to what the SQUIPs did to them. He hoped Reese didn't think that he __tamed__  them. They did change – and he was the reason for that – but it wasn't _forced_ , was it? He didn't force them to stop being a dick, just enforced safety rules. It was their choice to be kinder. He didn't ‘SQUIP' them…he didn't.

Blinking out of his thoughts he looked at the scene around him. The awkward silence had been broken by voices. His friends were arguing over throwing Jen out, and it seems Jen won Ari over as the younger glared holes into Rich's back. Reese had surprisingly taken a step back, turning away from the group and rubbing at their eyes tiredly. They were at the end of their rope. Michael wasn’t surprised, they were worn out before they even got there. Hesitating on moving, he slowly creeped his way to their side, eyeing Jen to make sure he didn't alarm them.

“Hey,” he called, quietly. Reese let out a long breath.

“Stay by Jeremy.”

“I'm needed here.”

“I'm fine.”

“Liar.”

“Michael, step back,” they warned. Michael pressed his lips together. Their tone was sharp, something he didn’t expect directed towards himself. If he pushed them, and they snapped, the situation would get worse. Jeremy would think he was in a bad relationship and Jen would take it as a victory. He let out a quiet sigh. He hated this, because he knew that if he tried to reach out for them they’d react. Their walls were back up, and he was on the wrong side. Did he even have a choice?

Trying to hold on to what little faith he had left that the SQUIP knew what they were doing, he reluctantly went back to Jeremy, feeling the pit in his stomach grow from not being able to do anything. He gave up the reigns, and it was probably the wrong thing to do. All he could do was watch.

“Maybe we should all cool down,” Brooke suggested, trying to diffuse the fight.

“That's what we did _last_ time,” Rich huffed.

“And it turned out better, didn’t it?” Jake sided.

“But that wont change anything! Where the hell would she go? Back with Mikey?” the shorter argued. Eyes snapped to Michael as his stomach churned.

“No,” he denied, not even thinking before he spoke. He couldn't deal with another night with them. Even if they were barely around each other, he couldn’t trust them to not make another attempt on his life. The glare from said SQUIP was fierce, but what drew his attention more was the narrowed eyes of Reese. It made his heart freeze, in a familiar way. The way it did that day, the day ‘SQUIP Reese' came out. He didn't even think…

“If you can't all agree then we have no _choice_ ,” they growled, anger clear in their tone. Michael resisted the urge to gulp, fear building up at the idea of Reese losing it in front of everyone, and at the decision the SQUIP just made for them. He was going to lose this fight, he knew it, and he’d be trapped in a room with Jen for God knows how long. He couldn't do that! Worse was Reese was  _siding_ with this idea. Granted, they were right that the group was giving them no choice, but he couldn’t accept that. He couldn’t let this happen. Yet…he felt helpless to fight against them. Why? Was it because he didn't want to upset them? No…it was because he didn't _want_ to be their enemy anymore, not in any way. He didn't _want_ to fight them, or hurt them, or push them until they broke. Reese would fight him on this, there as no question to that. But if he let this slide, it’ll hurt _him_ instead, and that was a terrifying idea.

“Reese, don't,” he tried, eyes pleading. But the SQUIP wasn't swayed, instead their irises became more cold. Defenses were up, and they were an unmovable force.

“It's not up for discussion,” they replied firmly, “If you throw a human _being_ onto the streets I'll leave with them.” That stabbed Michael in a way he didn't expect. He couldn't speak. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t…anything.

“Michael,” Jeremy quietly interjected, dropping his voice so only his friend could hear, “If it's too much – and if it's only for a bit – I can…I can take SQUIP with me.” The teen could barely move his frozen eyes from the computer to Jeremy. No, he couldn't take Reese away. Please, don't. He needed…he…he couldn't speak. He couldn't find his voice. He felt…weak.

“I want to be with Jen,” Ari argued, hugging the older SQUIP's arm as they looked at the group daringly. Chloe sighed heavily, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Fine! Stay here, I don't care anymore,” she grumbled. Ari frowned despite the permission.

“Jen and I will be good, I promise,” they tried. The popular girl sighed.

“I'll take care of it, like _always_ ,” she answered before turning to Brooke, “You'll stay tonight too, yeah?”

“Yeah,” the other agreed, a bit more wearily. Some weight lifted off of Michael’s shoulders at the rescue…but this was far from over.

“Well, if we're done here,” Jenna concluded as she headed for the stairs before anyone could stop her.

“Jenna,” Chloe huffed.

“Nope. I'm done.”

“Me too,” Rich agreed, earning another wack from Jake, “Ouch! What?”

“I'll - uh…drive you home,” Brooke conceded before turning to Chloe, “I'll come back after.” With nothing else left to say, the meeting was officially over.

The group hesitated for moment, as though waiting for something to happen, but soon they all began to shuffle. As Brooke followed Jenna upstairs, Christine gave Ari a hug.

“We'll talk soon! Maybe you can come home with me next,” she smiled. Ari's lips twitched up as they hugged a little tighter. Pulling back, Christine gave a quick, polite goodbye to Jen before following the rest of the group. Jeremy placed a hand on Michael's shoulder, and the teen slowly started to walk towards the stairs. He noticed Reese was not following, but instead waiting for him to be out of earshot. That hurt, but Michael didn't say anything as he left the basement.

The teen didn't stop walking until he was back in his car. He didn't say goodbye, nor stop at the driveway when Jeremy did. He just got back into the Cruiser and sat there, staring at the steering wheel.

It was quiet. It stayed that way for longer than he thought as he was left to his own thoughts and anxieties. His breathes came out unsteadily as he tried to compose himself. For the first time in a long time did the idea of going home not bring a sense of safety. Jen may not be there, but Reese was, and the SQUIP was far from being comforting.

The door to the back opened. He didn't bother to look at who it was since it didn't matter. He was still waiting for two other passengers.

“Michael,” the familiar voice of the oldest SQUIP called. The teen closed his eyes, not in the mood to answer. So Kert continued, “Breathe. You have time before they get in.” Breathe. He almost laughed at that. Reese used to tell him to do that a lot, back when things constantly went to shit.

So, he did just that. He breathed as calmly as he could, even after Rich got in, and until Reese took their spot in the back with Kert. Then he pulled his focus to the car. The silence was deafening, and he knew it was because of him. He was sending so many signals that he was not okay, and was not willing to talk. The tension with Reese didn't help either. Rich shot him worried glances throughout the drive home, but he didn’t dare voice his concern. It wasn’t until they were outside his driveway did he mumbled a quiet ‘thanks’. Michael just nodded. Rich waited a moment before slowly getting out of the car, Kert following. The teen didn't wait this time for them to get inside before he pulled his car away. In his pocket his phone vibrated, and he knew that whatever Rich had to say was sent to him privately. He appreciated that…though he was sure he'd have to thank Kert for mentally telling Rich to be keep quiet, because there was no way way the shorter would have done that otherwise.

Michael's moms weren't home when they arrived and he was grateful to not have to deal with that. The two quietly exited the car and headed inside, the tension between them steadily growing. They remained silent, though, even as they got inside. It wasn't until they reached their living quarters did the SQUIP finally speak.

“Michael,” they addressed, quietly. Michael paused, and turned his eyes to them. Reese was rubbing at their eyes again as they continued, “Can we drop the tension? I can't fight with you too.”

“…Is that _really_ what you're going to say?” the teen whispered.

“I don't know what else to say,” they admitted, “All I know is that I can't _do_ this. I can't keep fighting four different fronts.”

“You wouldn't be fighting me if you weren't pushing me away,” the teen argued, though there was little malice in his voice, “We're supposed to be a team, Reese. We’re supposed to be in control of the situation. I left this to you and now I'm the villain again.”

“You were willing to leave Jen homeless than let them stay a night or two here.”

“Yeah, that's what happens when you try to **stab** someone.” Reese was silent. They opened their mouth but quickly closed it, any argument they had lost in their throat. Michael looked away.

“I don't know what to say either, Reese. I thought I knew where we stood before we went in there…but I didn’t. I get you want to help Jen, but I thought after everything they did you'd be more…I don't know, but not the way you were,” he admitted, quietly. The SQUIP remained silent, and the teen didn't know if he had anything left to say without stoning the computer with all of his negative thoughts. So, he decided to go into his room, and leave it there.

~oOo~

Michael couldn't sleep.

He stared at the dark ceiling distantly, mind lost to the memories of the day. He hadn't talked to Reese since they got back, and the SQUIP kept to their own room. The tension was thick, even when they weren’t together. Michael wished he could just knock on their door, end this distance between them, but to do that would be to put aside everything he felt. He couldn't do that. He needed them to understand how anxious he felt…how scared of Jen he was.

Time seemed to fly by as much as it stilled. His thoughts were fast enough to make the hours fly, but sometimes only minutes would pass when he thought of so much. He hated how inconsistent his misery was. If only…

_Knock. Knock._

It was so quiet the teen thought he imagined it. He waited a moment, listening carefully for another sound, but none came. He opened his mouth but hesitated. Should he say something? What if it was nothing? What if it __was__  something?

“Hello?” he whispered. A moment passed…then the door creaked opened. Michael nearly had a heart attack at the dark silhouette he saw, glowing blue eyes the only detail seen, but he quickly relaxed upon recognition.

“Reese?” he named a little louder, sitting up, “What's wrong?” Reese didn't answer as they slipped inside, quietly closing the door behind them. They remained silent as they leaned against the wood, eyes downcast as though too shy to speak. Michael's brows furrowed. “Reese?” he called again. Without a word – and refusing to meet his eyes – the computer quietly moved over to the bed and sat down beside him. The teen shivered when he felt their hand brush against his.

Hooking his pinky with theirs, he tried again, “Reese.” Seeing the gesture as some sort of permission, the SQUIP let their head drop to his shoulder. He could feel them shaking as they gripped at his shirt for support. Michael’s heart clenched, gently raising a hand to rub their arm in comfort. Pulling back, he silently gestured for them to lie down, knowing this is what they were here for. The computer confirmed this when they didn’t hesitate to get settled on the bed beside him, curling up to him just like they did before. The teen wrapped them up in his arms as they buried their face in his neck.

“I'm so tired,” they whispered, voice cracked. The boy nodded his head, concern building in his stomach for the SQUIP.

“I know. Go to sleep,” he encouraged, brushing his fingers through their hair in a comforting gesture.

“I can’t,” they breathed, “Not…not like this…not with…not…I can’t…”

“We’ll talk in the morning. I promise. Just…sleep.”

“Michael,” their grip on him tightened, “I know…I know I said I wasn’t…I wasn’t…that I’m broken…that I can’t…but I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t let them…I wouldn’t let Jen hurt you…I wouldn’t…I’d rather…I…do you believe me? Michael? Do…?”

“Reese,” Michael whispered, trying to sound soothing instead of panicked, “I believe you. I promise.”

“I’m trying…I’m trying…terrible…I’m trying…so hard…I just…I…”

“I know. I’m not mad. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“I disappointed you,” they said, barely audible. The words felt heavy. “I _failed_ you.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” the teen insisted, pulling back to try to meet their eyes, “Today was fucked up, okay? Like always.”

“It’s always my fault,” they mumbled, voice wavering, “It wasn’t like this before…before me…I…I’m always the cause…”

“…You keep it interesting,” the teen half-agreed, “But I wouldn’t be dating someone I thought failed me.” That rendered the SQUIP speechless. Good, he needed that. Placing a kiss on their head, he continued, “Reese, we have a __lot__ to talk about. You’ve been…hurting, and I haven’t been helping enough. I don’t know what happened the week you were gone. I don’t know why you were upset after the thing with Jeremy. I don’t know what you’re thinking when you’re around Jen. I just…don’t know. But something’s wrong, and I want to help. So let’s get our shit together tomorrow and try to fix it, okay?” Reese was quiet, bowing their head to try and hide their expression. The teen let himself be bold, and gently took their chin in his hand and tilted it up to meet his eyes. “We’ll fix it, okay? Everything’s that’s broken, we’ll fix.”

“…Can you fix me?” they whispered, eyes holding a hint of hope despite being surrounded by loss. Michael hesitated. He didn’t know if he could fix what they wanted to change. He knew he could give them help as a human, but as a SQUIP…without Jeremy, nothing could change. It was something he’d have to think more on, but right now he couldn’t promise that.

“I’ll fix whatever I can,” he answered, “And we’ll go from there. Okay?” A little light left their eyes, which sent concern through Michael, but they nodded their head.

“I trust you,” they mumbled, burying their face back against his neck. Despite their words the teen didn’t feel better. He knew they were hiding their face so he wouldn’t see the expression that went with their words. Letting out a sigh, Michael ran his fingers through their hair again.

“…I’ll fix this…I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm glad we can move on from this. If I cut this off when Michael went into his room I would have flipped a table myself. These two are going to talk whether they like it or not! Don't worry, I'm taking one for the team here.


	38. Everything About You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everything about you is so..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sick again. Yaaaaaay. But that's not the real reason this update has taken so long. I'm moving to a new apartment and I recently changed jobs so a lot has been going on. Been VERY busy. Now I'm sick, so you can imagine how thrilled my body is. Also, this chapter needed to be nearly completely re-written since I was kind of unsure what I even wanted to do with it. Like usual I went with the flow, which is nice cause we're skipping to the good stuff!
> 
> Updates may take longer than usual since I'm also working on a graphic novel right now. The super hero idea I got for BMC was such an original idea that I decided it was best to be its own thing with its own characters. So I've just finished the first draft of that and going through the second, so that does get more priority right now. But that doesn't mean updates wont happen, it just may be tough for a bit to get back to a regular update schedule.
> 
> I think that's about it. So, enjoy!
> 
> WARNING: Light mentions of serious subjects.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own 'Be More Chill' or any of it's adaptations or content.

“I never thought I'd be doing this again,” Michael mumbled as he looked himself over in the mirror. He was wearing his ‘cool' clothes again – now dubbed his new ‘clever disguise’. When the subject of buying Jen new clothes - since the SQUIP needed some their size - came up, somehow a mall trip was orchestrated for after school this coming Friday. Friday…the thirty-first of October. Feeling the pressure of not having set up plans ahead of time, Michael blurted out an invitation for everyone to hang out at his house afterwards. It was a terrible mistake on his part, even Jeremy paled at his words, but he couldn’t take it back. The girls agreed to it easily, wanting to see more of his house…that, and they never say no to a party invitation. Rich, however, was more resilient. He quickly declined, but after some intense persuading from everyone else - especially Jake - he reluctantly agreed. To avoid the gathering appearing too much like a Halloween party, but not fully losing its festivity, they all agreed to lightly dress up. More casual costumes. They also all agreed to keep the night simple, just some snacks and a few movies. Maybe a video game or two, and some karaoke. Nothing more. It was clear to everyone what the goal of tonight was: to distract Rich and Kert.

So, there he was, in front of his mirror getting ready. The girls all went to the mall together to look for clothing for Jen, but also to ‘complete’ their outfits for tonight and for their assigned SQUIPs. He thinks Jeremy may have gone with them too, but he wasn’t entirely sure. This gave those who were left a chance to gather up snacks and everything else for the night. Michael’s only job was to make sure the basement didn’t look like a disaster zone, which with Reese in the house it never did.

The boy sighed, looking at his hair with frustration as he tried to style it in the way he wanted, but it just refused to cooperate. To his embarrassment Reese walked into the room behind him, making him curse that he left the door open to begin with. The SQUIP didn’t seem dressed up yet, the ‘meme’ graphic shirt being the only real oddity on them other than their clothes appearing more comfortable than fitted. They looked him up and down with an amused smile.

“Is this your costume?” they questioned as they stepped up beside him.

“Sort of,” Michael answered sheepishly, giving up on his hair. Reese chuckled, running a hand through his hair to groom it for him.

“And who are you supposed to be?” they hummed. The teen grinned, looking at them in the mirror.

“You.” They paused, blinking at him comically as he snickered.

“Me?”

“Yeah. You picked this out and everything.” The SQUIP gave a small laugh, now styling his hair with purpose.

“Well, Michael, allow me to make some _adjustments_.”

“For once I wont complain.” They stood in comfortable silence as Reese continued to play with his hair. The teen let out a long sigh as his eyes lower.

“What's on your mind?” the computer asked in polite conversation.

“I have no idea how we’re going to get through tonight. It’s going to be a disaster.”

“…I think it can go either way,” they admitted, “But it heavily depends on how awkward everyone will make this evening. Though, I feel as though Christine and Chloe will be able to carry through tonight easily enough.”

“You’re right,” Michael sighed, “I just…” He arched his head to look up at the computer, though he barely could at his angle. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

“It’s the one we settled on. It’s not a bad idea, distracting them.”

“Yeah, but _tricking_ them…”

“Michael, we’re not tricking them. I'm sure they know _exactly_ what we’re doing and are purposefully keeping their mouths shut.”

“I guess so…”

“I think it will be good, for _all_ of us.” Michael pressed his lips together as he looked away.

“Even you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You might get stressed again…will you be okay? Dealing with Jen and being around Jeremy?” Reese was quiet, and in the mirror the teen could see them thinking.

“I'm sure I will, but I won’t leave your side this time. It was a mistake to do everything on my own, and I know I can keep Jen in check should they object to your presence near me.”

“...And you’re okay with that?” Michael didn’t want to be questioning the computer, especially since he _wanted_ them near, but…the truth remained, Reese still hasn’t confided with him yet. The morning after they made up the SQUIP did apologize for their behavior. They shared their insecurities which had lead to their initial fight, but nothing more. Honestly, what they told him wasn’t new information anyways. Michael knew that they were feeling less like a SQUIP and more useless because of it. That had been clear for a long time. He didn’t know that the conversation with Jeremy made them feel worse, considering it sounded like that conversation actually went better than expected, but still. He still didn’t know what plagued their mind about their missing week, or the memories that have resurfaced. He didn’t know why their anxieties made them speak in broken sentences that are always self-deprecating. Most importantly he doesn’t know what they’re thinking when they’re around Jen. He’s asked, and he’s gotten partial responses, mostly “They’re my responsibility.” Well, that wasn’t new information either. They clearly don’t want to confess everything, so would they really be okay with him being their support today?

Michael had tried to do as he said, help them ‘fix’ everything. He suggested talking with Kert - since the SQUIP had offered professional help - only to find out that Reese was already doing that and purposefully skipping sessions. Of course, as soon as the teen heard that he ‘fixed’ that issue immediately. Reese hasn’t missed one since. If the SQUIP thought that them and Michael together were unstoppable, truly the team up of Michael and Kert was indestructible. The only flaw to this plan was that Kert was going to be out of commission today…it would just be him.

“I think we'll be okay,” Reese answered, “I think…I need to let you take the reigns more, and let myself just provide support. Like a proper SQUIP.”

“I don't know if I should be reprimanding that thought process or not,” the teen sighed, “Since humans do that too…and I can’t ban being a SQUIP anymore, since you like being one so much.”

“It's all I know.”

“And it's clingy.”

“Is that bothering you?” they sounded genuinely concerned and self-conscious. Michael quickly took their hand and shook his head firmly.

“No. I wouldn't change a thing,” he assured, hoping his tone of voice convinced them. Their body relaxed, so he must have. “I'm just turning into Kert and worrying that if I'm not there…you wont be okay.”

“…I worry about that too,” they admitted, hugging his waist and resting their head on his shoulder. Michael wrapped his arms around theirs as the only way to reciprocate.

“Well, then…let's work on sticking together first,” he suggested, “Then we can try giving each other space once these assholes are gone.” Reese grinned.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Unraveling their arms they took a step back, looking the teen up and down. “Are you planning on doing anything else to be ‘me’?”

“Yeah, no glasses,” the boy answered, turning his attention to the small container on the counter where his contacts were kept. He could see Reese nodding in his peripheral as he took off his glasses, struggling to properly put the small lenses over his irises. He didn’t do this often, so it was always an ongoing fight filled with nearly losing the contact multiple times and tears filling his vision from poking at them too much. Only having partial vision he could barely see what the SQUIP was doing beside him. It looked like they were styling their own hair. When he could finally see them again he could see that they had tussled their hair to look more messy - though still somehow perfect - and dragged it into their face to partially cloud their eyes. He snickered a little as he wiped away his remaining tears.

“What?” Reese questioned with a curious smile.

“You looked like you’re going through a ‘phase’,” the teen answered, smirking.

“Really? What kind of phase?”

“You look like you’re going to say ‘no one understands me’, or ‘what’s the point?’” The SQUIP laughed, more harder than the boy expected.

“That’s hilarious,” they mused, smile widening, “Because I’m dressed as Kert.” Michael blinked before laughing hard himself. Yeah, he could see it now. The SQUIP’s hair matched the shorter computer’s, and the meme shirt made a lot more sense now. Rich had bought his SQUIP _way_ too many meme shirts.

“Hey, we’re both SQUIPs now,” the teen grinned, bumping his shoulder with the taller. Reese’s eyes lit up a little, excitement starting to shine through.

“Yeah, we are.” Giving a quick kiss to the shorter’s cheek, the computer left the room. “But your outfit still needs a little _something_. Hold on,” they called back. Michael rolled his eyes, but lingered in the washroom. There was one more thing he wanted to do himself before they returned.

Reaching his hand into his back pocket, he pulled out two wristbands, the same two he bought on their mall trip together. He stared at them distantly for a long time, eyes glossing over the design stitched into its fabric. He had to admit, they were pretty cool. Reese really did have an eye for awesome designs. Taking a deep breath he slowly slipped them on, carefully pushing up his sleeves in the process. He winced at what little he saw as he covered up the evidence, stomach churning. Even after all this time, the teen still couldn't handle looking. It was a reminder of an event he’d rather pretend never happened…but, he’s finally come to a point where he might be able to confront it. He shouldn’t forget it happened, because that would be ignoring everything he had felt that day. A shaky smile came to Michael’s face. He guessed that after trying so hard to help Reese, and talking them through their self-deprecating speech and thoughts, he can hear his own voice telling himself the same things. He shouldn’t hide it. More importantly, he knew that Reese would not judge him for what he did, will not look at him in betrayal, or hurt, or question him why he would do something so stupid. They’d be there, just like they always are, ready to do whatever he needed to get through this. That’s why, even though his hands shook and his anxiety threatened to paralyse him, he left the washroom with his sleeves rolled up for the first time in months.

Michael’s eyes stayed glued to the floor as he quickly went to the counter, leaning on it for support. Reese was back in the living space seconds after he entered, which saved him more anxiety of waiting for their reaction. He knew they instantly noticed, because they were deathly silent. The teen could feel their eyes on him, and it was almost overwhelming how exposed he felt. But he couldn’t find his voice to break the weight crushing him, not until he saw them cautiously approaching.

“Don't,” he breathed, barely audible. The SQUIP paused. He didn’t know why he stopped them when he wanted their comfort, but he could feel his anxiety tightening his chest with each step they had taken closer. In his peripheral the computer offer an object in their hands for him, instantly cutting some of the tension in the air with the change of topic.

“For you,” they said, in a voice that was so overwhelmingly smooth and soothing, it melted him. Michael looked up and saw the SQUIP's jacket in their hands. He forgot he wore it last time he pretended to be ‘cool’, and that it would indeed complete his outfit. Reese carefully took the last few steps to close the distance between them, and he didn’t stop them this time. With a small smile they draped it around his shoulders, “Perfect.” Michael’s eyes watered at the word. Arms shaking he slowly pulled them through the sleeves of the jacket to wear it properly, but hesitated to roll up the sleeves again. Instead he pulled the hood over his head, as a silent signal to the SQUIP of how he was feeling. Reese didn’t hesitate to pull him into a tight embrace.

“I’m here,” they assured, rubbing his back soothingly. He nodded, trying to take in deep breaths so he didn’t cry.

“It’s so hard,” he whispered. They nodded, hugging him closer.

“It always is until it’s addressed,” they answered, voice quiet. Taking the time he needed to compose himself, Michael slowly pulled back and shakily rolled his sleeves up. Reese watched his actions, but their gaze didn’t feel as exposing as it was before.

Letting out an uneven breath, the teen spoke, “…It's nice…to roll them up again.” The SQUIP smiled, gently taking one of his hands in theirs and held it steadily.

“…When did you buy these?” they asked curiously, never losing their lulling tone as they motioning to the wristbands.

“…That day…” he mumbled, sheepishly.

“Really?” He nodded. Reese’s smile widened as they brought his hand up to kiss his knuckles, “I'm glad you like them.” A blush dusted the teen's cheeks, but his expression remained anxious.

“…Reese?” he called quietly, voice nervous. The computer hummed in response, watching him carefully. Michael opened his mouth, but hesitated, before speaking, “I…This…um…” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then tried again, “We both know that I’m – uh…having a hard time…with this.” Reese nodded.

“This is a step,” they encouraged, squeezing his hand in comfort. Michael nodded, looking down at their entwined hands for support.

“…It’s hard to look at them…cause it reminds me of…” his voice cracked, and he shook his head to clear it, “But I feel like…I could do it…with you.”

“I’m here, in every sense of the word,” Reese assured, tone firm and unwavering, “Whatever you need.” Michael nodded, refusing to meet the other’s eyes as he continued to focus on his breathing.

“…Would it be okay if someday I…I showed you?” he whispered, shoulders hunching up to his ears at the question, “I don't want to do this alone…” The SQUIP blinked surprised at the request, but gently ducked their head to meet his eyes, a soft smile on their lips.

“Of course,” they promised, squeezing his hand again in confirmation. Michael slowly shifted his gaze to theirs, nodding his head lightly as he wiped at his eyes before any tears could fall.

“Thanks.”

“Anything, anytime.”

“Heh, spoken like a true SQUIP.”

“And partner.”

“Yeah…” Michael glanced away, relaxing more into the conversation, “Don't tell anyone, but…honestly, being with you…I question if things would have been better if you __were__ my SQUIP. If Jeremy and I had just shared the pill…”

“It doesn't work like that,” Reese denied, “And…I can’t pretend as if I haven’t thought about it too. But, in the end, we both know that we came to be like this  _because_ you didn't have one. SQUIP killer, remember?”

“Yeah, but…you said once if you were my SQUIP you would have gotten me friends and made things better. Then I wouldn't have…” Michael sighed, taking his hands away and pocketing them. Reese looked at the action, staring at the empty space his hand had once been a little too long as though they were in delay. Then they bit their lip and averted their gaze.

“First off, I also said I would have given you Jeremy, which would have completely destroyed any future between us.”

“That’s true.”

“And second…” they sighed, “…Don't tell anyone, but…if I was to be honest too…if you had a SQUIP I think you would have gotten worse.” Michael’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What? Why?”

“…Because you would have been told all the time how terrible you are and how your existence makes you-" they paused, “…Not want to be around anymore.”

“Oh,” the teen sounded in recognition, eyes falling, “’Everything about you is so terrible'…” Reese winced noticeably at the words and he regretted saying it out loud.

“Yeah…that.”

“I thought that was only something you told Jeremy,” he pointed out, not daring to mention the one time he heard them utter it to themselves. The SQUIP was quiet as they lowered their eyes to the ground.

“…I believe…it was a phrase all SQUIPs were taught, or pre-programmed to know as a ‘teaching' mechanism…or, perhaps, a lingering phrase we remember being told so often.”

“…Why do you think that? Do the others know it?”

“Yes…”

“That's really fucked up,” Michael huffed, a flare of anger sparking up at the idea, “No matter what it's for.”

“I agree,” Reese mumbled, crossing their arms in a more defensive stance. The teen's brows furrowed at how uncomfortable the SQUIP looked, as though they had more to say.

“…Why do you think it's something they said to you?” he asked slowly, “Do you…remember it?”

“…I still hear it sometimes, in my head,” they whispered, “I…say it too.” Michael's eyes widened.

“…What?” Reese shifted under his gaze, shoulders hunching up.

“We're sharing, aren't we?” they mumbled, rubbing their arm self-consciously. The teen slowly nodded his head.

“Does…Kert know?”

“…They caught me, yes.”

“Why didn't you say anything? Jeremy was really fucked up from saying that.”

“…I didn't know what it was…and when I thought of it, it was when I was…feeling down,” they answered quietly, “And I deserved it.”

“Don't,” Michael denied, shaking his head fiercely, “Don't say that.”

“You once agreed with me.”

“I've changed - _you've_ changed. Reese, you can’t keep holding yourself down. We both know you’re a bigger star than that,” he encouraged, stepping closer to them. Reese’s eyes shined at his words.

“…I’m trying,” they whispered, “I am…it’s just…”

“Hard,” the teen finished. They both looked at each other in understanding. “I wish it was easy…”

“Me too…”

“…But I trust you, Reese,” he continued, shyly, as he took the SQUIP’s hand in his, “That you’ll take care of me…I didn’t get to this point alone.” Reese nodded their head and entwined their fingers together.

“You’ve grown much farther than me.”

“You started off farther. No emotions and all.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

“We’re working on it, right?”

“I know…I just hate how often it comes up. I’m trying to control it, but…it controls me. How can I stay confident with self-doubt?” they questioned, letting out a defeated breath. Michael’s brows furrow in thought, not fully knowing the answer himself.

“I guess…to quote the smartest person I know, ‘Fake confidence is a thing’.” Reese blinked before chuckled in recognition.

“That’s very true.” They brought his hand to their lips again and pressed a gentle kiss. “I’ll try harder. I just…didn't want you to think - or know - that there was something wrong with me.”

“I _want_ to know if something's wrong, Reese. I'm not going to leave you if you open up. I thought I proved that already when you told me about the SQUIP people.”

“I know…” they sighed, resting their forehead against his. “I'm just…off.”

“I know.” The SQUIP smiled lightly.

“You really are wonderful, Michael. I don't say it enough, but you are. Everything about you is so wonderful.” Michael blushed, the weight on his heart lightening to flutter at their words. Reese’s eyes shifted for a moment, their face reflecting one of realization as they heard the pattern in their own words. Deciding they liked the change, they looked back to the teen. “Everything about you makes me want to live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next time: Halloween! Very exciting.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Replaced (Chapter 18 Fanart) for GreenNanoTech](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15851886) by [Umbachhia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbachhia/pseuds/Umbachhia)




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